THE GROWING PAINS OF ADRIAN MOLE

Saturday April 10th

Bert has been thrown out of the British legion club for saying that the Falklands belongs to
Argentina. Bert doesn’t mind, he only used to go to take advantage of their OAP cheap beer offer.

Monday May 31st

SPRING HOLIDAY (EXCEPT SCOTLAND)
BANK HOLIDAY (SCOTLAND) MEMORIAL DAY (USA)

Saturday July 24th

Went shopping for holiday clothes today. My mother came with me. I wanted to buy a grey zip-up
cardigan from Marks and Spencer (there is a cold wind at Skegness). I tried it on but my mother
said it made me look like Frank Bough and refuse to pay for it. We had a bit of an argument about
my taste in clothes versus her taste in clothes. In fact, looking around, I could see quite a few
teenagers were having arguments with their parents.
We walked around the rest of the shops without speaking for a bit until my mother dragged me into
a punk shop and tried to interest me in a lime-green leopard-skin-print tee-shirt. I refused to try the
tasteless thing on, so she bought it for herself!
The sadistic-looking shop assistant said, “That’s a cool mother you got.” I pretended no to hear
him. It wasn’t difficult: Sid Vicious was singing a filthy version of “My Way” on the shop’s stereo
system. It was so loud that the chain jackets and studded belts were reverberating.

Monday January 17th

Breakfast telly started today.
I enjoyed the Horoscopes, the News, the Celebrities and Frank Bough. He looks a steady sort of
bloke. I wouldn’t mind having a father like him. But best of all was Selina Scott, with her ravishing
looks and quicksilver brain.
Courtney Elliott joined me in front of the screen at 7.45 a.m. He pronounced it “lacking in
intellectual fibre” and said he would stick to listening to radio Four on his headset. I was late for
school because Frank wasn’t allowed to open the champagne until nearly nine o’clock!
I have written to the Director General to complain.
Dear Sir,
I wish to convey to you my congratulations on your new programme Breakfast Time. I saw the
first episode and I thought it was a remarkable achievement considering. However, me and my
fellow pupils were late for school, due to the late opening of the champagne.
Either this shows a flagrant disregard for your teenage audience, or a woeful ignorance on your
part, of the time I and my cohorts have to arrive at school in the morning.
I suggest, Sir, that you do your research rather more thoroughly. Finally can I make a plea that
in future episodes, any special items i.e. Ernest Hemingway chatting about his latest book, or

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Princess Diana having her horoscope read, will take place before 8.30 a.m. (except on Fridays
when we don’t have assembly).
Thanking you in anticipation of reply,
Your most obedient servant,
A. Mole (aged 15 and 9 months)

The growing pains of Adrian Mole (1984), Sue Townsend

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