Justin stood on the dancefloor alone among the dancing men, staring helplessly after Brian.

God, he didn’t think that running into his now former lover would feel so bad, but he could
hear his heart shatter into tiny pieces, yet again.

He never understood why Brian cut all ties with him. For a few months, he tried calling him,
but eventually got tired of never getting an answer and just gave up. He knew he swore to
himself that he would never give up on Brian, but things were a lot different back then. The
teenager Justin was so different from the person he was now, it was actually painful.
Well, obviously the part of him that loved Brian unconditionally to no end hasn’t gone through
much of a transformation and the young artist wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that.
The ring would have been a dead giveaway for an outsider, but Justin swore to God that he
only wore it because it was pretty.

Yeah, not even he believed such load of bullshit.

“You alright? This must suck a lot. Wanna get out of here?” Leo asked him carefully, putting
his hand on the small of Justin’s back in a way of showing support for his best friend. He was
there whenever Justin broke down because of Brian, so he was fully aware of the impact
that their break up had had on Justin. It was an ugly sight for sure.

“No, it’s okay,” Justin breathed. “I came here to show you the essentials of Pittsburgh. I just
didn’t think he’d be here. But I mean, why wouldn’t he be?” he gulped, and then shook his
head. “You know what? Maybe we should go somewhere else.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, June. I know,” Leo smiled sadly, and started
making his way to the exit with Justin following him.

God, this night couldn’t get worse.

***

Brian was on his tenth shot of Jack Daniel’s and Michael was starting to get seriously
worried about him. He had already witnessed his friend almost dying of alcohol intoxication,
though that was when they were both in their teenage years and their tolerance level was
way lower than now. Plus, he knew the exact reason why his best friend was acting like it
was his duty to kill himself that night and he didn’t like it one bit.
Although he never really accepted their relationship, thinking that Justin had only used Brian
for his money and sex, and nor did he know what had actually gone down this time, he
wished they would just get their shit together and be happy again.

“Best friend my ass. I’m sure they fucking cuddle up every night in their shitty blanket and
share loads of snacks and then they fuck and--, God, this is disgusting,” Brian slurred and
Michael rolled his eyes.”What are they, a pair of dykes? What happened to being the best
homo he could possibly be?”
“I think you ghosting him happened. It’s not right, Brian. Are you jealous?” Mikey said, lifting
one of his eyebrows up as he felt Ben’s arms sneak around his waist and he allowed himself
to melt in the embrace of his lover.

And Brian’s silence said more than words could ever say.
You see, the thing with Brian was that he never lied. It was a well known fact that he never
once deceived anyone, so when he knew that he would be untruthful, he just shut up.
Mikey’s heart actually broke.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Ben grumbled, understanding his husband’s distress and
took the glass from Brian’s hand as he started guiding him outside, despite the other’s
protest.

Once they made it to the loft, it wasn’t hard to put the big baby to sleep, seeing as he passed
out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“He’s going to be alright, you know that, don’t you?” Ben whispered, as they slid the door
shut and got into the elevator so they could finally go home and rest for a few hours before
going to work the next day.

“Yeah, I know. He always is. That fucker,” Mikey shook his head, remembering the little red
box resting calmly on the coffee table back at Brian’s home.

Yes, someday he’d be just fine.

The next morning came earlier than Brian would have liked it, and he groaned as he heard
his alarm going off. He grabbed the thing and chucked it somewhere else, glad that it shut
up and then rolled over so he could bury his face into Justin’s strawberry and cigarette
scented hair, only to realize that the other side of the bed was painfully empty and cold.

Right. Justin wasn’t there anymore. He hadn’t been there for a long time, yet Brian couldn’t
seem to get used to waking up all alone, with no one to cuddle and blow.
God, he was slowly turning into a lesbian.
Dismissing his thoughts, he willed himself to get up and take a shower to freshen up a bit.
While he let the hot water relax his stiff muscles, he decided that he would stop by the
Liberty Diner to eat breakfast before heading into Kinnetik and having to deal with another of
Brown Athletic’s tantrums. He wished his head didn’t hurt, but considering the fact that he
was drunk off his ass the previous night, he understood where it was coming from. Maybe he
could try to cut back on the drinking and drugs, but since he didn’t have a certain blond to tell
him what to do, he didn’t see the point. Everyone had to die from something.

Forty-five minutes later he parked his car on the sidewalk in front of diner and after making
sure he locked it right, he made his way into the friendly place. He had been coming to
Liberty Diner ever since he was fourteen, but the feeling never changed, only the staff did.
Sometimes he still felt like a little lost teenager, trying to survive his father’s abuse and his
mother’s nonsense about God and religion, coming to Debbie after a rough day or night to
just eat in silence and listen to the buzz around the restaurant. He always took pride in being
the man he had become, but lately he found himself reminiscing about the past and how
everything used to be. Not to mention all those times he had spent with Justin here.

Why was that brat connected to basically everything in his life? From his bed, to owning half
of everything Brian owned, to being Brian’s medical proxy; Justin was everywhere, and Brian
realized that they shared too many things in common, seeing as he didn’t have peace even
at the diner. The first thing he saw upon wandering a bit further into the space was that, the
booth they originally sit at was occupied by Ted, Michael, Emmett, Justin and his new boytoy
whose name Brian didn’t really remember. He was Brian Kinney after all, and that meant he
was very shit at remembering names.

“What is this, group therapy?” he grumbled as he reluctantly sat down next to Mikey. The
petite twink giggled, and Brian’s eyebrows shot up.”And what are you laughing at?”

“Oh, nothing in particular. You’re just like June described you,” he answered and took a sip
from his milkshake.

Best friends my ass, Brian thought. He’s already giving him nicknames. What’s next,
adopting children?

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Emmett said, glaring at Brian. “So, then Brian decided to stop
being a pussy and he actually went to Justin’s dance. God, Daph told me it was so romantic!
I wish I was there,” Emmett swooned while Justin’s so-called best friend was listening so
intently, Brian thought his eyes would actually fall out. His former lover on the other hand,
looked uncomfortable as fuck, and it did something to Brian.

“Okay, Honeycutt, why are you discussing shit that happened a lifetime ago, nonetheless
with a total stranger?” Brian interjected after thanking Kiki for giving him his usual coffee with
a lot of sugar. He decided to ignore Justin’s thankful gaze while sipping on the drink.

“Excuse me, I’m not exactly considered a stranger in June’s life,” the boy protested almost
immediately, furrowing his eyebrows and genuinely looking pretty upset.

“You’re excused,” Brian answered with a tight smile and brushed off the incredulous look the
newcomer gave him. He didn’t have time to deal with shit like that, not with Justin being back
in town and Lindsay bitching about everything as usual.”How long are you staying for
anyway?” he turned to Justin and stared right into his soul, not being able to stop himself. He
adored the younger boy’s eyes that always held so much emotion. He loved the way his
eyes were truly the mirror of his soul, showing him everything he needed, wanted to see.

Sure, he did miss Justin. Practically all the time, but he knew he had to let him go. Justin
was young, he had to explore, date other people and get his heart broken. He needed to
experience what it meant to have a real, committed relationship with someone who could be
one hundred percent open with him. Someone who didn’t make him doubt his love for him.
All in all, anyone but Brian.

He could never offer him those things, the stuff that Justin deserved and while it truly ate
Brian up on the inside, he knew he had to do this. They were so fucking unhealthy together,
him never giving Justin reassurance, Justin shutting his mouth about their issues just to no
upset Brian-- It was all just a fucking mess. Brian didn’t understand how he could have
actually thought that it could work out between the two of them. He realized that it was
impossible.

“I don’t know yet,” Justin chewed on his bottom lip, not intending to tell Brian the true reason
he decided to come back to the Pitts. Well, the other reason. “It’s uncertain. Leo’s just here
for moral support, but the GLC have asked me to put together a set of pieces they could
exhibit at some event to raise awareness for the teens that get thrown out of their homes for
being gay. I figured it’s a good cause, so I came back,” he shrugged like it was no big deal
and hoped that Brian wouldn’t catch on to his bullshit.

“Ah, I see. Saint Justin back at it again,” Brian snickered, and drank the last drop of his
coffee. “Well, you still have some of your stuff at the loft, you can come pick them up. Make
sure you call me first though. Wouldn’t want you walking in on something that’s not meant for
your eyes,” he gave them a sarcastic grin before slapping some money on the table and
storming out of the diner.

His hands were shaking as he drove away from the restaurant and he realized once again
that completely wiping his Sunshine out of his life would be a very complicated mission.

And on his way to Kinnetik, the only image in his head was Justin’s eyes, pleading him not to
leave, as they had done many times before.