//-----------------------------

// Story: Hands
// Chapter: Fifteen
// Author: Andrew Joshua Talon
//-----------------------------

Hands

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship

is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust.
No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.

- - - - - -

So yeah. I was falling to my death from several thousand feet up. This was not
going to end well. A kind of calmness fell over me as I tumbled, the ground coming
up fast below me. Like I could accept my demise. I was dying on an alien world, who
knew how far from home, dressed in a dragon costume to keep an eye over the little
brother of my pony girlfriend.

It was so absurd, what use would my anger be?

The air burned brightly around him, and I felt myself grow lightheaded. Purple
energies flooded my vision, and I felt confused and afraid.

What the...? What’s going on? What-?

Then a sensation it’s difficult to describe. I felt squished into nothing, while
simultaneously I was stretched to infinity. It was like I could see my home on
Earth, and Ponyville, and hundreds of other places I had never seen before...

SPLAT!

And then I was eating mud.

“PFFT!” I flailed around, sinking fast into a foul, stinking, soft mass. I pulled
my head up, gasping for breath but only getting some kind of goo in my mouth. I
coughed and groaned, some of the gunk had gotten into my eyes, leaking through my
helmet. I frantically undid the restraints and yanked it off, spitting up more of
the crap into the soft mass. I sat up, wincing in the dim light.

“Nngh...” I managed to stand, though unsteadily, as I got my bearings.

I was in a mud pit in a forest. I could see the glow of the volcano, which loomed
up high behind me, so it wasn’t too far away from the dragon encampment.

The sun was setting, and I could hear the sounds of the forest. Chirps, squawks,
buzzes, growls...

I sighed and wiped my face off. “Yep... I’m slightly less screwed than I was
before...”

Now now, you shouldn’t think like that. Try to be positive. Was this really worse
than falling to my death from a thousand feet up?
“HEY, SMAUG!” Bellowed the voice of one of the dragons who had dropped me. “WHERE
ARE YA?”

… Yes, yes it was. I waded through the muck, trying to get to the nearby trees for
some cover while wondering how the hell the dragon had found me.

“HOW’D YOU PULL THAT FLASHY TRICK, ANYWAY?” Shouted the other dragon. “IT WAS SO
COOL!”

Well, that explained it. Twilight had probably teleported me to safety. From long
range though, I didn’t imagine it was particularly easy. I’d seen how exhausted she
got just by teleporting herself across town-Teleporting me down to the ground minus
my dangerous momentum couldn’t have been a piece of cake.

The two dragons had fallen silent, but I heard some muttering and growling. I
grimaced and paused my egress. I had developed a sense around predators, and right
now it was screaming “You’re about to become dragon chow.” I considered my options.
I had to come up with a plan.

“RAWR!” They bellowed in unison, and I heard their wings flapping furiously from
behind.

… Screw it! I thought. I drew my sword, spun around, and waved my arms in the air
as I bellowed a challenge.

“I’M SO NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR BULLSHIT NOW!” I roared.

Well more of a complaint, but it seemed to get the job done. The two dragons’ eyes
widened to the size of baseballs and they veered off, flying into the trees behind
me and crashing.

“AHH!”

“ARGH!”

I blinked a few times, and turned around. The two dragons had smashed into another
mud pit, and were scrambling to escape.

“N-No! NO!” Shouted one, a bloated green one. “It’s a-It’s a-!”

“HUMAN!” His friend, a bronze colored dragon, was trying to get airborne but the
mud was holding his wings down. I blinked.

Why the hell are they acting like this? It’s like I’m some sort of...

Garble’s story echoed in my mind, and I smiled.

… Boogeyman.

“That’s right,” I said with a growl, brandishing my sword and baring my teeth. “A
human.”

“H-He’s wearing Smaug’s skin!” Whimpered the bronze one. I laughed villainously,
and licked my lips in a manner similar to Hannibal Lecter.

“That’s right... Good for a first course, but you never know,” I growled, “I might
feel hungry again,”

“N-No! No! Please, don’t! DON’T!” Cried the bloated green dragon. I took slow,
careful steps towards them as they writhed in the mud, panicking like crazy. I
lifted my sword up, and they squealed like stuck pigs.

“... However,” I said flatly, “I might have... Some... Small use for the both of
you,” I growled.

The two dragons looked up, and nodded frantically.

“Yes! Yes, anything!” They said. “Anything at all, Lord Human!”

The bronze one even tried to kiss my feet. I tolerated it, before glaring at him.

“All right, all right, enough grovelling,” I snarled. The bronze dragon withdrew,
cringing in terror. “Now... Here is what I want you two morons to do...”

- - - - - -

I’m not going to lie: Riding a dragon? Is freaking metal. 

I’m serious-Every metal album ever should have someone riding a dragon on it. Well,
every good metal album. Though to be honest, from what I know of metal it seems
that the loudest band is the best.

The two dragons were absolutely terrified but they carried him the whole way. The
cry of a great and angry bird sounded through the trees, and the cries of ponies...
So it was a safe bet I was getting close.

We burst through some trees... And Garble and his three dragon buddies rammed into
my steeds, sending all of us to the ground.

I had the feeling it was going to hurt.

“OW!”

And guess what? I was right. I crumpled to the forest floor, my fall broken by one
of my steeds as they formed a huge, writhing pile of angry dragons.

“Andrew!” Chorused at me in the sweet voices of Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike and

Twilight. I rolled out of the mass and up to my feet, ignoring the flashes of pain
throughout my body. I grinned as I limped up to them as quickly as I could, Spike
grinning back.

“Given you rescued me before, thought it only proper to return the fav-Mmph!” I was
distracted by a kiss from Fluttershy, who had also wrapped her hooves around me. My
eyes widened a bit, and I saw Twilight’s angry face flash red.

“Mwah! Sorry! Just so happy to see you,” Fluttershy apologized, leaving me a bit
more breathless than I had been. I shook my head, and looked to Twilight.

“Um... Maybe you should yell at me back in Ponyville?”

“Teleport us?” Twilight managed. “I-I can’t!”

The angry growl of Garble behind us punctuated the ball of ice that fell into my
stomach. I gaped.

“You can’t?!”

“I burned all my power teleporting you to safety!” Twilight explained quickly.

Fluttershy, mindful of Twilight’s temper, had moved away from me as Rarity cleared
her throat. I turned and saw the dragons had gotten loose, Garble leading the pack.
My two steeds cowered back behind him and the others.

“You’re gonna pay for this you little-”

“OH MY HUMAN LORD!” Rarity cried, leaping up and wrapping her hooves around my
shoulders. She pressed her warm face against mine, every inch the thankful servant.
“My Lord Andrew, you’ve come to save us!”

“What?! WHAT?!” Garble snarled. I looked back at the dragons, even now hesitating.
I looked back at the other ponies and Spike... And slowly nodded.

“Yes... I have arrived.”

“Thank you so much for coming, my lord!” Rarity cried.

“Yes! Your timing is excellent!” Twilight added, getting into the act.

“My Lord! Do not punish us! I-I mean, too badly!” Fluttershy added, bowing down and
nuzzling my ankle.

“What’s going on here?” I demanded, bringing myself up to my full height and giving
the dragons an intimidating glare. My two steeds from before cowered. Garble
snarled, angry, while his buddies stared in confusion and growing fear. Spike
leaped into action, pointing a claw at the dragons in accusation.

“These dragons were going to devour us!” Spike cried. I allowed myself a dangerous
smile, and felt gratified when all of the dragons but Garble looked shaken. Even he
was hesitating.

“Were they now?” I asked, growling low in my throat as I rested my hand on my

sword.

“And do horrible, terrible, naughty things to us, your loyal concubines!” Rarity
gasped, nuzzling my neck.

“Ye-What?” Twilight muttered.

“Y-Yes! YES! THEY WERE!” Fluttershy gasped. I growled again, and the dragons save
for Garble cowered.

“N-No we weren’t!” One of my steeds cried.

“Who are you? What are you?!” Garble demanded.

“Th-That's a human, Garble! IT'S A HUMAN!” My other steed whimpered, and all of the
dragons wailed.

“IT'S A REAL HUMAN! IT KILLED SMAUG AND IT'S WEARING HIS SKIN FOR ARMOR!” My first
steed cried. All but Garble were now terrified.

“S-So?! So what?! He... I-I made it up!” The young dragon growled. “There’s no such
thing! You can’t-!”

My eyebrows twitching, I decided to channel my exasperation into rage. I drew my

sword, and all of the dragons stepped back. I took a deep breath.

“I! AM! ANDREW SHEPARD! HUMAN LORD OF EQUESTRIA!” I bellowed as loudly as I could,

shaking my shining sword. “I HAVE SLAIN A THOUSAND DRAGONS, TURNED MOUNTAINS TO
RUBBLE, AND RIDDEN ATOP THE BACKS OF GODDESSES!”

I lowered my blade and pointed it at Garble, fire in my eyes. To aid in the effect,
my friends cowered behind me. I grinned. “If you seek to die, you’ve come to the
right man.”

“BAH! Shout all you w-want!” Garble managed with a strangled squeak. “W-We'll
slaughter you! Right guys?” He blinked. “Guys...?”

He looked over his shoulder. The other dragons... Were long gone. Garble gulped,
and looked back at me. I smirked.

“Well?

“Oh please, I'll do anything! DON'T KILL ME-HE-HEEEE!” Garble sobbed like a baby,
throwing himself at my feet. Spike rolled his eyes, and Rarity and Fluttershy
looked ready to leave. Twilight, however, had ideas other than fleeing.

“Well... Why don't you tell us how you know so much about humans?” She came up to
my side, and at Rarity's prompting, she bowed her head. “If my Lord wishes it so?”
She asked tentatively. I turned back to the bawling Garble, and put a note of
authority into my voice.

“Yes, where did you get your stories of my glorious race?”

“We... M-My mother told me about them! Humans in metal chariots, metal wands,
weapons that...” Garble paused. “Wait, how do you know about that?”

“His human super senses,” Fluttershy said in a very spooky voice, her eyes wide as
she stared at him. “He knows all, and sees all.”

Garble gaped.

“E-Even-?”

“Especially that!” Fluttershy admonished, and Garble whimpered.

“You should be ashamed. Hmph,” I added imperiously. Twilight continued her line of
questioning. Admittedly, part of me would have preferred to run like hell... But I
wanted to know about other humans. I wanted to know where Garble heard this. And
Twilight recognized this.

“Where did your mother hear it? Where are you from?” She asked.

“Th-The south! The southern mountains! She said there were old ruins of human war
machines down there, long ago! They slaughtered dragons, drove us out of the old
lands!”

“O-Oh my...” Fluttershy murmured. I nodded and hummed, trying not to look too eager
at this information.

“How positively dreadful!” Rarity said. She looked at me, humming. “My Lord, will
you be doing any driving of dragons from these lands?”

“Laying it on a bit thick...” Spike muttered softly. I made a show of thinking it

over, making Garble squirm, before I shook my head.

“I'm feeling merciful. I've only come for my concubines and my loyal student. Tell
me all that you know, so that I may leave you in peace.”

“Yes! So our glorious Lord can retake his lands and re-establish his mighty
kingdom! Oh, it would be glorious! To be draped in jewels and fine silks!” Rarity
gasped, nuzzling me. I tried hard not to blush, but, well... It was Rarity.
Fluttershy and Twilight both fumed, and neither of them had to act for that.

“Great, you gonna add a third?” Spike mumbled. "Because if you do I will fight you
in the streets."

“Rarity,” I said, warningly. She pouted.

“Well now my Lord, surely I could be entitled to some recompense?” She breathed
into my ear, and my face flashed red. “For all my... Wonderful service?”

Garble made a face. Fluttershy growled. Twilight glared hot death, at me, and then
at Garble.

“You should be speaking, not retching!” Twilight snarled. Garble gulped.

“R-Right! Right! Th-The humans just came out of nowhere! The old dragons had dreams
about their war machines, and then boom! Here they came, blasting away, sending us
flying in all directions!"

Garble took a deep, shuddering breath.

"For a long time w-we couldn't return! They'd just slaughter any dragons that came!
They were in pony country, too! Some with magic, others with those machines! They
protected those-those ponies! Slew any dragon that even looked at them funny!”

Twilight frowned. “But there aren't any records of this... None that I've read...”
She murmured. I nodded at Garble, sensing we were pushing our luck.

“Is that all?” I asked flatly. Garble shook his head frantically.

“No, no... There were rumors that there was this old temple, out in the badlands
north of here, that told everything about humans!”

“Everfree Forest! The badlands!” Twilight gasped in realization.

“That will be all, worm,” I stated flatly, and waved my sword in the direction of
the volcano. “Begone! Before I change my mind!”

“Yes your worship, thank you, thank you!” Garble grovelled, and he was soon flying
off.

“Wait! Wait!” Twilight called after him. She turned to glare back at me. “He could
have told us so much more!”

“I think we took long enough as it is!” Spike said flatly. I slumped a bit, panting
for breath as I felt an adrenaline crash looming. I looked to my girlfriend with a
sighed.

“Twilight, ask me this. How long could we have put on this act?”

“... Okay, fair point but still!”

“We don't have time to be asking questions at length,” I said. Rarity nodded and
smiled, still not leaving my shoulders.
“And we learned a great deal all the same! You're of a long lost, fallen
civilization! Like a prince!”

“Right, a prince. It's probably a rusty garage sale by now,” Spike snorted. I
gently disentangled myself from Rarity, to appease everyone’s tempers.

“The sooner he was gone, the better,” Fluttershy said. “And um... Probably the same
with us.”

“Let’s go find Rainbow Dash then,” Twilight sighed. “She’s got the balloon
nearby... And we can talk about this back home,” she said, looking pointedly at me
and Fluttershy. Fluttershy blushed guiltily, as did I. I sighed.

Well, I wasn’t dead. Everything after that was negotiable...

- - - - - -

It wasn’t a long hike back to where Rainbow Dash was impatiently minding the
balloon in a bare, rocky clearing.
.
“Well took you guys long enough!” She called. “I’ve been bored stiff!”

I took a step towards Dash... and stopped pretty much immediately. Stretched out
before me was a massive chasm, liked something straight out of a Roadrunner
Cartoon. Several metres wide, seemingly endlessly deep with only a single thick
fallen log stretched over the top like a bridge.

“Oh, good. A chasm.” Clearing my throat I politely stepped aside and indicated the
makeshift bridge with a wave. “Err... ladies first.”

They all rolled their eyes as they hopped on and climbed across. Surprised at the
lack of vertigo I followed. Falling to my doom and riding on the backs of dragons
seemed to have conditioned me to heights.

I gave the log a stamp. “Okay, as long as this log holds I should be fine.” I mused
watching Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy carry Twilight, Spike and Rarity respectively
on board the balloon. “Should be fine unless a dragon or something jumps on it.”

The almighty powers of jinx kicked in at that very moment. Looking back I saw the
foliage near the edge of the chasm explode. A confetti of leaves drizzled to one
side to reveal Garble standing there with smoke belching from his nostrils.

“I heard that!” Garble bellowed angrily. “I heard all of it! You’re not a fierce
overlord! You’re just a normal guy!”

“I-uhm... uh...” I tapped my chin for a moment before drawing my sword free and
waving it in a stylish flourish. “FEAR ME!” I growled.

To no avail.

“NO!” Garble yelled back.

“Rats, foiled again.” I sighed wishing it could have been so easy.

Garble didn’t waste another second, throwing himself in my direction. I raised my

sword in defense.

Garble landed a moment later on the mid-section of the log, causing the whole
bridge to creak dangerously. Even the dragon seemed to suddenly regret his move,
standing there frozen with a worried expression on his face. Another mind-
shattering groan rang out as some cracks formed over the log and splinters spat
from the buckling bark.

We sat there for a moment, staring at each other wide eyed, every now and then
glancing to the chasm below us. The log did not crack any further. After a while of
silence we let out a breath of relief, realising we’d dodged a bullet.

As it turned out, the bullet had actually been a boomerang, and came back round to
destroy our day.

The log rolled. It displaced and rolled over catching us completely off guard. The
motion sent the two of us tumbling over the side and plummeting into the chasm.

At least, Garble was doing a whole lot of plummeting. Much to my shock – and relief
– something snagged my foot and held me in place, dangling upside-down over the
cold hard ground a very long way below.

“Stupid-STUPID DRAGON!” I yelled down at the falling teenage-dragon.

“I’ll get yooooouuuuuuu!” Garble cried as he disappeared entirely from view. He

disappeared in a tiny little puff of smoke erupting upon impact with the ground. He
probably even left a Garble-shaped impact crater.

At the time however, wondering if Garble would be walking any time soon was the
least of my concerns. My own concern was why I hadn’t plummeted down into the chasm
after him. Slowly tilting my head ‘downward,’ I looked up to see what had caught me
by the foot.

Of course, for one of my friends to have reached back and caught me by the leg
between their hooves would have been too cliché. The ponies were already on board
the hot-air balloon, hovering somewhere above me.

One of my shoelaces had snagged on the log’s branches and served as some kind of
safety tether, holding me in place.

“Andrew, are you alright?” Fluttershy squeaked as she looked down over the edge of
the balloon’s cradle.”

“Gee, why? Do I look not alright?” I shouted back, blood rushing into my head
making me feel a little snippy.

I tried curling up to catch myself on one of the stubby branches. Anything to help
me pull myself up and out of danger’s reach. Unfortunately my arms were several
inches too short.

“Be careful!” Fluttershy offered helpfully.

“The need to be had crossed my mind! Twilight!” I cried with concern for my
continued existence within this mortal coil. “You’re going to have to save me!”

Her eyes widening with worry, Twilight hung over the edge of the balloon to look
down at me. “But I’m still exhausted from teleporting you earlier!”

“I don’t care, you just have to save me!” I screamed back waving my arms,
neglecting the need to hold still.

Plink!
That was when the dreaded sound of fibres snapping caught my attention. Looking
back up to my laces I saw the middle section of the taut rope had frayed, several
of the fibres plucked loose.

“Oh, c’mon!”

Plink! There went another fibre.

“Twilight!” I cried.

Plink-plink!

“Twilight!”

Plinkplinkplink-...

“TWILIGHT!”

Snap!

I cried out as I fell... about an inch. Something else caught my foot and stopped
me from plummeting to my doom after Garble. Swallowing hard, I cracked the fingers
covering my eyes and peered upwards.

There I saw Rainbow Dash gripping my leg between her front hooves. Her wings were
beating in a rather relaxed fashion, which seemed somewhat impossible since she was
not only carrying her own weight, but mine too.

And then I saw Fluttershy, also hanging on to my leg. Her wings were fluttering
like that of a dragonfly, her eyes wide with concern as she struggled to hold me
up.

Rainbow Dash gave a bored roll of her eyes. “Twilight isn’t the only one capable of
heroics, y’know!” she snapped.

“Oh... uh...” I scratched my head awkwardly, having completely forgotten Rainbow

Dash was probably the most adept flier in Equestria. “Right. Thanks.”

“Thanks?” Dash peered inquisitively at me.

I sighed tiredly. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash, for saving my life.”

“You’re welcome!” the Pegasus smiled broadly before unmercifully swinging me around
in a wide arc.

She was stopped before she could throw me into the balloon’s basket though.
Fluttershy gave a tug, trying to pull me from Rainbow Dash’s grip.

“It’s okay, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy struggled. “I’ve got him.”

Dash frowned. “No offence, Fluttershy, but-...”

“I said I’ve got him!” Fluttershy screamed defiantly with a sudden burst of volume.

It was enough to startle Rainbow Dash into dropping me. I fell screaming a few feet
before the cyan Pegasus caught me again.

“HEY!” I yelled up at them. “GETTING A LITTLE ANNOYED DOWN HERE!”

“SORRY!” Fluttershy returned.

- - - - - - -

The trip back to Ponyville was fairly brief, but it did give us enough time for
Spike to thank me.

“Thanks for looking after me, all of you,” Spike said. He grinned up at me. “You
kind of missed the best part though.”

“Yes! Spike told off those dragons in a most spectacular fashion,” Rarity agreed.
“Then you barged in! It was actually quite heroic too though...”

“Yeah,” Spike said, smiling up at me. “Thanks for that.”

“Yeah, well, ultimately we had to save ourselves but you’re welcome,” I said. I
turned to Twilight, who was leaning against my shoulder out of exhaustion. “And
thank you, Twilight, for saving me.”

“No... No problem,” Twilight said. Fluttershy rested her head against my other
shoulder, looking apologetic.

I sighed. “It’s fine, really...”

Twilight mustered the anger necessary to glare. “You nearly got him killed!”

“Well he wouldn’t be in this situation if you hadn’t had him leave the volcano!”
Fluttershy insisted.

“Well you wanted him to get away from the dragons!” Twilight shot back, glaring
across my chest. I hitched my breath as I felt Fluttershy’s hoof on my other thigh.

“H-Hey, ladies...?”

I looked to Dash or Rarity or even Spike for help. Nothing doing-Spike actually

looked amused, the jerk.

“Well he wouldn’t have been in there in the first place if you hadn’t insisted on
him following Spike!” Fluttershy growled. Twilight’s eyes narrowed, her horn
flickering with magic.

“Well gee, maybe I should have let Spike go to his death? Would that make you
happy?!” Twilight demanded, slamming a hoof down on my thigh. My eyes crossed in
pain.

“Of course it wouldn’t! How dare you say such a thing!” Fluttershy snarled,
smacking my other thigh. A crack of pain went through me.

“AAAAAHHHHH!”

Both mares stopped, and looked to me in concern.

“Andrew, are you all right-?”

“I’m sooo sorry, I didn’t mean to-!”

“That’s IT!” I said at last, furious. “You two fighting over me has gotten me into
danger more times than I’d like! So I’m going to step up, and man up, and do what I
should have done in the first place!” I took a deep breath, and felt them both
tense.

Okay, yes, I was going to break somepony’s heart but sometimes you’ve gotta make
the tough decision, sometimes you’ve gotta-

"If I may interject,” Rarity suggested, holding a hoof up, “I've got the perfect
idea darlings!”

“Huh?” All three of us asked. Rarity smiled as Spike gave her a curious look.

“Rarity?”

“You should share,” she said.

There was dead silence for a few moments, before Rainbow Dash, pushing the balloon,
snorted.

"What?” She laughed.

“What?!” I squawked, Spike with me and nearly to the same high pitch.

"What?!” Gaped Twilight. Fluttershy was silent for a moment longer, before she
slowly nodded.

"... I'm okay with this."

“WHAT?!” Everypony else cried, save for Spike (who looked relieved) and Rarity (who
looked serene).

“You can't possibly be--!? HOW CAN YOU BE OKAY WITH THIS?!” Twilight demanded.

“I was perfectly s-serious back in the library, I’m serious now,” Fluttershy said
with a firm nod.

“B-But it can’t-I mean, before, I thought you were joking! I was joking!” Twilight
cried. “This can’t possibly work!”

“How do you know? Have you ever been in a relationship like this before?” Rarity
asked, with just a hint of challenge.

“I haven't,” Fluttershy said. “But... I’m willing to try.” She gave Twilight a
challenging look. “Can you?”

“I...” Twilight’s pride had been hit, sucessfully it seemed, as her eyes narrowed
in determination. “I’m sure we can... Figure out a way to do it... If everypony is
fine with it,” she said, looking back to me. I gaped.

“I... Uh...”

“Andrew Eugene Shepard! Are you all right or not all right with two marefriends?”
Twilight demanded. I gulped.

“I’m... I’m totally all right with it,” I said. “You?”

“Not... Not entirely,” she said. She smiled. “But I’m always up for a... Unique
challenge.”
“Maybe you can look up a successful one in one of your books? And we can try that?”
Fluttershy asked.

“Worth a shot,” Twilight mused. I looked over at Rarity, who was still smiling that
maddeningly serene smile. She gave me a wink.

The balloon came to a jolting stop. I looked up and around and noted we were back
in Ponyville, right outside Twilight’s library. Dash chortled.

“Man, I’d love to stay and watch, but I’ve got to get some food, and then a good
nap!” She waved, and shot off like a rainbow across the night sky. “I’ll see you
later! Invite me to the wedding!”

“Well. My work here is done,” Rarity said as she got out of the basket to flounce
off. “Enjoy, darlings! Come Spike, let’s leave them alone!”

He hopped out. I got up out of the tangle of my two marefriends and stood up.

“Hey wait a minute!” I called. Rarity looked over her shoulder at me demurely.

“Andrew, dear... What do you want?”She asked, her eyes probing mine deeply. I
almost look away, and found the answer she wanted. It was hypnotic!

“... To not hurt anypony...?” I offered.

“And you're complaining about two lovely mares?”

I was silent. I looked back at Fluttershy and Twilight, who were talking in low
voices.

“Andrew~,” Rarity practically crooned.

“... No,” I said, resigned.

“There, see?” Rarity said.

“But-But-!”

"The rest are just details, Darling, and Twilight can look those up easily. Ciao!”
She trotted off, Spike following. My little dragon brother paused a moment, and
looked right at me. He pointed to his eyes, and then back to me. “In the streets.
Watch it.”

And then he too was gone. I sighed, and slumped in the balloon basket.

“... How does she do that?”

- - - - - -

A few weeks late, but hopefully you’ll consider it worth the wait. Yes, the ending
is a bit ambiguous but as this is chiefly a comedy story, I find that having to
navigate two complex relationships has more opportunities for chaos and hilarity.

Besides, just imagine the children.

Now, this story is doing a crossover with My Little Pony: Versus Equestria.
I definitely encourage you to check it out, wherein Andrew Shepard meets another
human transported to Equestria by mysterious means. It will have consequences for
the next arc of this story, set during the Royal Wedding. Until then, enjoy!
And as said before, if anyone else wishes to use Andrew Shepard or this storyline
for their own stories, feel free to do so. Just ask.

This chapter was written with great help from my good friends The EroSennin,
Scriviner, and Psuedofiction himself. Check out their stuff!