The Connection Between Surveillance and Ownership Throughout the teling of her story Firdaus describes the act of seeing as akin to an act of possession. One of Firdauss earliest memories asa childs the memory of her mothers eyes watching her, holding her up when she struggled to learn how to walk and negotiate the world Forte young Frdaus. this sense of belonging to her mother and being watched cover by her's very conorting. She feels that being a possession The mother is whet protectsher Later though. theact ofbeing surveyed takes on avery different meaning, When Fitdaus grows older she no longer fels her mothers eyes supporting fe’ From then on whenever Frdaus senses someones eyes watching hes she feels threatened When Frdaus fistruns away fom her uncles house, she encounters tering man who run his eyes up and down her body, making Fitdaus feel invaded, and as iFher body were nat her own,Firdauss life-long struggle isto claim her body as her own. \When Firdaus marries Sheikh Mahmoud, his eyes never leave her dish at mealtimes, and he watches every morsel of food she eats with jealous intensity. Firdaus becomes self- conscious about eating, Firdaus describes almost all of the men she encounters in the same way—they rake their eyes over her bady and, in doing so, act as though her body exists only for them. Its nat until she isin prison that Firdaus learns to feel at ease during other people's examinations of her This is because Firdaus has proven to herself that she owns herself and that she is in control of her own destiny. The Nature of Power For the young Firdaus. the nature of power seems at first to be very simple: men have it and women do not Her father has power over her mother. Her uncle has power over her. When she is married, Sheikh Mahmoud has power over her. Even men on the street have power over the women they pass, merely by tuming them into objects with their eyes. Bayoumi, \who locks Firdaus in his apartment and lets his friends have sex with her, has power over her Itisnt until Firdaus meets Sharifa that her ideas of power begin to change. Sharifa is a wealthy, independent woman. Rather than allowing men free use of her body, as married women do, Sharifa uses the power of the desires that men have for her to her advantage. She teaches Firdaus how to command the power ofher physical appearance. Stil, Firdaus doesnt know what it means to possess power of her own. She learns that women can have power, too, but she cannot fully wield her own power while living under Sharifas control.\When she sets out on heroin a a prostuta Frdaus fly leans watt means to have something thet oer peaple cles This s power She leas tat she can commen highend higher ries simply by deiing peoale what they weal or exercising the power that ste has ove them. Because of ris, stie feels that maney s power When she possesses money of ie oun she has gower over the people who slander het and she can give herselfa respectable name by hig 2 lawyer andl suing, Harrie stint 2s an offce work only serves to reinforce thsi, and whan she goes back to prosution she charges more money than ever and uses her money to mingle with more powerful people, Firdaus comes to believe that stiehas attained real power. But the pimp who clams her proves that thisis not the case. He treatens to Cefame her or kilt proving thatno matter how much money she fs. Fass stlvuberable to men because she has something to lose When she ils the pimp and leer tears up the princes money, Frau fly proves tha she hes control over herself.Sexual Pleasure During her childhood, Firdaus experiments sexually with a local boy named Mohammadain. They play ‘bride and bridegroom, meaning that they take of their clothes and rub against one another. Firdaus describes the sensation of pleasure she gets from her encounters with Mohammadain, which end when her mother forces her to undergo a strange surgery. Its not fully explained in the book, but Firdaus undergoes a clitoridectomy (the removal of her clitoris) After this procedure, Firdaus never again experiences sexual pleasure the way she once did, Though her mother forces her to undergo the procedure as a matter of tradition and doesnt seem to think about it politically, Firdaus considers the tradition another attempt to suppress women. By removing the clitoris, sex has become an actin which only men take pleasure. Firdaus believes that if women were equal to men, then both would find pleasure in sex.Pleasure is out of the question in her sexual encounters with her old, deformed husband. To Firdaus, these encounters are horrific, and she describes the stench of his open wound and the lack of joy she feels during sex. She also describes with contempt the way men wha come to her a clients will demand, during sex, to know whether or not she is taking pleasure in the act. For these men, the act is not about two people enjoying each other, but instead about proving their physical prowess. They are determined to wring pleasure from Firclaus, whether she wants it or not. Firdaus tells the men that she enjoys sex (though she does not), which stops them from asking. When Firdaus overhears her uncle and his wife having sex. the idea of it warms her, but sheis unable to take pleasure in it herselfChoice ‘Asa woman from a poor family, Firdaus has never had to make many choices. Her clitoris is removed and she is married to a tyrannical older husband without anyone ever asking her opinion. The first real choice she has ever had to make comes when she lees her husbands home. When Bayoumi asks her whether she prefers oranges or tangerines, Firdaus is struck by the fact that nobody has ever asked her to make a decision like that before. She realizes she does not even know which fruit she prefers, because she has never had to think about what she wanted, Other people always told her what would happen. After this, choice becomes an ‘obsession for Firdaus, As a prostitute, Firdaus has the money and the power to make choices for herself. She chooses her own apartment and clothing and also begins to choose which men she will and will not sleep with, Because of this, she begins to believe in her own independence. The power to choose for herselfis intoxicating. And soon, the fact that she has rejected powerful men makes her even more alluring to them. By exercising choice, Firdaus commands more and more money and gets an increasingly prestigious clientele. However, the pimp who moves in and demands control over her shatters the illusion of choice for Firdauss. Firdaus realizes that no matter how powerful she might seem, she is stilla woman, and men will still attempt to exercise control over her In Fircaus's world, there is no way for her to make real choices. Though it seems to some that female prisoner has less power than even the lowliest wife, Firdeus feels that waiting on death rowis the most liberating thing that has ever happened to her. She chooses not to appeal her sentence: she would prefer to die in order to escape the control that other people have over her. Only when dead will Firdaus be free.Captivity Firdaus explains that all of her life until the time she spends in prison has been spent in captivity. Though asa child, a wife, and a prostitute, she had same degree of physical freedom, she did not attain mental freedom until she got to prison. Captivity, for Firdaus, means living under someone elses power. I: means nat making choices for oneself and agreeing to be deceived by those in power (whether those in power are presidents or fathers or husbands). Though Firdaus is waiting to cie in prison, she considers herself freer than anyone else in the world. She certainly feels freer than Nawal El Saadawi, who hopes to interview her. Nawal senses this, and it is for this reason that she is so devastated when Firdaus refuses, time and time again, to be interviewed. Firdaus looks forward to death because it means that she will have a chance to start over. Though she is enclosed in a cell, she feels free. She refuses to work with the system, sign an appeal, or visit with the doctor because she does not want to feel Like a captive. Signing appeals would only serve to entrap her again, as she would have to appeal to. and thereby recognize, the power of men. When she finally agrees to meet with Nawal. itis only in order to spread a message of truth and to do further damage to the world that abused her before she dies.