Behindthescenes Complete Notes

Qabeelat Madinatayn | Student Notes
May 2012
Edited by Qabeelat Durbah July 2012

Qabeelat Madinatayn | Student Notes Behind the Scenes 2
May 2012 Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Table of Contents
Unit 1 | A Journey Of Introspection: The Process of Purification ..................................................... 5
Chapter 1 | Understanding Your Role ............................................................................................... 5
What is Tazkiyah? ............................................................................................................................... 5
What is Fitnah? .................................................................................................................................... 7
What is Ikhlāṣ? .................................................................................................................................... 8
What is Tarbiyah? ............................................................................................................................... 9
Chapter 2 | Understanding Your Enemy ......................................................................................... 10
The Enemy Within: The Nafs .......................................................................................................... 10
al-Shayṭān ........................................................................................................................................... 10
Chapter 3 | Understanding Change ................................................................................................. 12
Can I change? .................................................................................................................................... 12
Guidance is from Allāh .................................................................................................................... 12
Excuses for Not Correcting Oneself ............................................................................................... 14
The How’s and When’s of Change ................................................................................................. 16
Chapter 4 | Understanding Yourself ................................................................................................ 17
Your Ḥāl vs. Your Maqām ................................................................................................................ 17
How far away are you? .................................................................................................................... 17
The Three Types of Nufūs................................................................................................................ 18
Baṣar vs. Baṣīrah ................................................................................................................................ 19
The Himmah Never Dies................................................................................................................... 19
Chapter 5 | Experiencing Change..................................................................................................... 20
A Deep Look at the Tazkiyah of ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) ................................... 20
The Concept of True Ladhdhah (Pleasure) .................................................................................... 21
Faqīh’l-Nafs ......................................................................................................................................... 22
Unit 2 | Making the Change .................................................................................................................. 23
Chapter 1 | Knowledge....................................................................................................................... 23
The Importance of Seeking Knowledge ........................................................................................ 24
The Intention behind Seeking Knowledge ................................................................................... 24
The Effort of Seeking Knowledge .................................................................................................. 25
Being Purified by Knowledge ......................................................................................................... 28
The Pursuit that Never Ends: What is the greatest difficulty of knowledge? ......................... 35
Chapter 2 | Minding Your Own Business ........................................................................................ 41
For your own good ........................................................................................................................... 41
For the good of your brother ......................................................................................................... 41
Giving the benefit of the doubt ...................................................................................................... 42
Chapter 3 | Treating Destructive Flaws........................................................................................... 43
Curing Bad Character ...................................................................................................................... 43
Backbiting / al-Ghībah...................................................................................................................... 51
Slander / al-Namīmah (Tale-Carrying) .......................................................................................... 61
Lying / al-Kadhib ............................................................................................................................... 68
Mockery ............................................................................................................................................. 70
Two-Faced Speech ........................................................................................................................... 71
Revealing Secrets ............................................................................................................................. 73
Breaking Promises ........................................................................................................................... 73
Impermissible Joking ....................................................................................................................... 78
Disciplining Ourselves ..................................................................................................................... 78
Pride / al-Kibr .................................................................................................................................... 82
Love of Prestige/ Ḥubb’l-Jāh ............................................................................................................ 86
Showing off / al-Riyā’ ....................................................................................................................... 87
Self-Deceit / al-Ghurūr ..................................................................................................................... 91
Envy / al-Ḥasad ................................................................................................................................. 96
Anger / al-Ghaḍab ........................................................................................................................... 101
Learning Forbearance ................................................................................................................... 102
Greed and Miserliness ................................................................................................................... 106
Curbing the Desire for Food and Sex .......................................................................................... 109
The Wandering Gaze...................................................................................................................... 111
Breaking the Habit of Sin .............................................................................................................. 111
Chapter 4 | Istiqāmah ........................................................................................................................ 117
The Hardest Task............................................................................................................................ 117
The Most Praiseworthy Task ........................................................................................................ 119
Consistency ..................................................................................................................................... 120
Discipline in ALL areas .................................................................................................................. 120
Chapter 5 | Moderation: Don’t Go to Extremes (Ifrāṭ and Tafrīṭ) ............................................... 121
Balance............................................................................................................................................. 121
What is True Zuhd (Asceticism)? ................................................................................................. 122
Chapter 6 | Get Your Wird On .......................................................................................................... 124
The Purpose of the Pillars ............................................................................................................. 124
Understand your complexity! ...................................................................................................... 125
Act with a Sense of Purpose ......................................................................................................... 126
The P90x Wird ................................................................................................................................. 126
The superstar: Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) .............................................................................. 126
Chapter 7 | The Daily Wird: A Share of Contemplation & Remembrance................................ 128
Which is preferable: seclusion or keeping company? ........................................................................ 130
A Share of Meaningful Obligatory Prayers................................................................................. 131
Meaningful Prayer ......................................................................................................................... 132
A Share of Voluntary Prayers....................................................................................................... 135
A Share of Qiyām ............................................................................................................................. 136
A Share of Recitation and Memorization of the Qur’ān ........................................................... 137

Chapter 8 | The Weekly Wird .......................................................................................................... 141
Components of a Fruitful Jum‘uah Experience .......................................................................... 141
Sūrat’l-Kahf ....................................................................................................................................... 141
Fasting Mondays and Thursdays ................................................................................................. 141
Chapter 9 | The Monthly Wird ........................................................................................................ 142
Recognize what month you are in! ............................................................................................. 142
Chapter 10 | The Yearly Wird .......................................................................................................... 143
Ramaḍān ........................................................................................................................................... 143
The 6 days of Shawwāl .................................................................................................................... 144
The fasting of ‘Arafāt, ‘Āshūrā’ ...................................................................................................... 144
Zakāh ................................................................................................................................................ 145
The 10 Days of Dhu’l-Ḥijjah ............................................................................................................ 145
Chapter 11 | Once In A Lifetime (Ḥajj) ........................................................................................... 147
Before You Go ................................................................................................................................. 147
Inner Meanings of the Manāsik .................................................................................................... 147
Qualities of the Ḥajji ....................................................................................................................... 148
Final Note: Overwhelmed? ................................................................................................................... 149
Disclaimer: The following are student notes, which are not endorsed by the instructor or
AlMaghrib Institute.
Unit 1 | A Journey Of Introspection: The Process of Purification

This class will be like no other class you have ever taken. This class requires lots of self-
exploration, quietness, and self-introspection. If you are here with the intention of learning
and purifying yourself with the ‘ilm, this class will transform you. At the end of this class,
inshā’Allāh you will feel a complete change in your life. You will not feel like the same person
who came here today. The material that will be covered is transformative as long as you pay
attention and try. The hypocrites witnessed the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and still
didn’t change because they weren’t trying to change. Focus and renew your intention from
now.
We will introduce the process of change. Many times we talk about losing hope in Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). “Do not despair from the Mercy of Allāh.” When we talk about this,
almost every khuṭbah and lesson derived from this āyah says: do not lose hope in Allāh
forgiving you. If you consistently hear that message, then it’s a message of failure because it
means you have lost hope in yourself. Part of having hope in Allāh is having hope in the ability
to change yourself. Otherwise, it falls into another category. When you lose hope in yourself
then you have sū’ al-ẓan in Allāh because Allāh is the One who created you and enabled you
with the agents of change. You cannot lose hope in yourself.
Chapter 1 | Understanding Your Role

What is Tazkiyah?
What does tazkiyah mean? The root word is zakawa, which has two meanings: to purify and
growth / increase. Zakāh in terms of money means you purify and you grow. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Money does not decrease by charity.” The more charity you
give, the more your wealth grows. This makes zakāh a comprehensive word when talking
about money. By removing the impurities, you allow it to grow.
When something has potential but is clogged up on the inside, then things are stopping it from
growing. Tazkiyat’l-qulūb: the heart is made to naturally love Allāh and long for Allāh, but sins
stop it from recognizing that potential.
Someone may ask: Why can’t I benefit from Qurʾān? Why can’t I wake up for fajr? Why is
everyone else in the masjid crying except me? It is because of your sins. Your sins stop you
from doing that. With zakāh, you remove the impurity and it realizes its natural growth.
When we talk about the soul and tazkiyah, tazkiyah is the responsibility of yourself. Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “And by the soul, which He proportioned. So He inspired with it the
discernment of wickedness and good.”
And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it

And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,
He has succeeded who purifies it,
And he has failed who instills it [with corruption]. (al-Shams: 7 – 10)
There is a severe misunderstanding with āyah 8. People think that “Allāh placed within it its
evil and its good” means that Allāh naturally created you with some evil, but this āyah means
the ability to recognize evil (the fiṭrah). Allāh inspired it to understand what is going out of
bounds and what is good. Then Allāh says, “He has succeeded who has purified.” Allāh praises
the one who engages himself in tazkiyah. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “He has failed who
instills it with corruption.”
Allāh has never made oaths as He has in Sūrat’l-Shams. Whenever Allāh makes multiple oaths,
it means that what He is about to say is extremely important. There is no other āyah in the
Qur’ān preceded by so many oaths. Dassāha means to cover something up in dirt. Allāh creates
you pure – pure soul and pure heart – and you cover it up with dirt.
Allāh also says in Sūrat’l-A‘la: “He has succeeded who has purified Himself.” Allāh is swearing
that the person who purifies himself is successful. The effort comes from the person.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked by the ṣaḥābah what tazkiyah is. He
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “It is that he knows that Allāh is with him wherever he may
be.” (al-Bayhaqi) This sounds like iḥsān.
In the ḥadīth of Jibrīl, when Jibrīl said to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “Tell me
about iḥsān.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “To worship Allāh as if you can see
Him and if you cannot see Him then know that He sees you.”
The goal of tazkiyah is iḥsān. Whenever you reach iḥsān, you reach the level of al-nafs’l-
muṭmainnah (a soul that is at peace with its Lord). In tazkiyah, you consistently engage in
purifying yourself, fighting yourself, battling yourself, and try to root out the destructive
flaws. You are doing that as if Allāh is going to call you into account today. You are
worshipping Allāh as if you can see Him, so you work hard. You put the extra effort when you
know you are being watched. The amount of effort you are engaged in is in accordance with
how active you are in observing Allāh’s observance of you.
Will anybody successfully be able to purify himself 100%? No. Let’s face it: no matter what
you do, you will have your share of sins. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “All of the
sons of Ādam are in sin, and the best of those who commit sins are those who are consistent in
tawbah.” Tawbah means turning to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). If you commit the mistake, you
go back to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). You do this over and over again.
You will always slip and on the Day of Judgment, you cannot come to Allāh (subḥānahu wa
ta‘āla) pure and without sin because the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whenever
the believer stands on the Day of Judgment, 99 scrolls of sins will be laid in front of him and
each one reaches the end of his eyesight. Allāh will tell him to read, and he will read until he
starts to change colors thinking that it is over for him. Then Allāh will stop him and say, ‘O my
servant, did you ask for My forgiveness?’ He says, ‘Yes.’ The bad deeds start turning into good
deeds until the person will say, ‘O Allāh, the angel forgot to write some sins down!’” (Bukhāri
and Muslim)
Everyone needs mercy. On the Day of Judgment, you either meet His Justice or His Mercy. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever faces accountability will be punished.”
‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, doesn’t Allāh say in the Qurʾān that the one who
receives his book in his right hand will have an easy accountability?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “No, that is just the presentation of the deeds. Whoever starts getting
asked will be punished.” There is no way you can win 100% through tazkiyah. You will not be
able to repay Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) for what He gave you.
Then what’s the point of doing good deeds? If your child was to bring home to you a heart
made of red construction paper with letters saying “I love you Mom” pasted on them, how
would you feel? The mother will hug the child and frame the paper. What made her value it?
Was it the twenty-five cents that went into making it? No, it was the thought and the heart of
your son. You felt that it was done out of love for you, so you extoll it.
We do our part and Allāh makes us feel like we got there because of our deeds. When you
accomplish something, people encourage you and tell you that you should be proud of
yourself. On the Day of Judgment, Allāh consistently has said, “This is a reward for what you
used to do.” In Jannah, you are being told that you did this. At the end of the day, it wasn’t
your deeds, but you were engaged and trying to purify yourself.
What is Fitnah?
Fitnah is the ever companion to mankind.
What does Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) do to make things easier for us in dunya? Fitnah. Fitnah is
a gift to the human being and the believer. There are different types of fitnah. There are fitan
caused by human beings, but we are talking about tests and trials that come to you in your life.
For example: you are put through a test in regards to your health or wealth or a sin is
presented to you.
Allāh gives us fitnah to make things easy for us.
The linguistic meaning of the word fitnah is to burn. It is the procedure of making precious
metals. To make any precious metal, you burn it until the impurities are removed. Sa‘īd b. al-
Jubayr said, “Allāh tests us. We don’t test Him.”
We are trying the tazkiyah, and Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) sends us hardship and trial to
complete the purification process. At the end of fitnah, if a person is patient, Allāh elevates
them so much that Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) says, “On the Day of Judgment, the
people who were not tested will see the reward of those who were tested and will wish they
had scissors to cut their skins.” (Authentic in Sunan of al-Tirmidhi)
‘Aṭa said, “Had it not been for tragedies in our lives, we would have shown up on the Day of
Judgment completely bankrupt.” Allāh purifies us through hardship (i.e. death of a loved one,
financial hardship). A woman came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and was telling
him that she had seizures and would sometimes be exposed. She asked that he make du‘ā’ that
Allāh cures her from the epilepsy. He said, “I can make du‘ā’ and you will be the same as
everyone else, or be patient and you will have Jannah.” She chose Jannah, and she asked him
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to make du‘ā’ so that she would not be exposed when she had a
seizure. Through the hardship, Allāh was guaranteeing her Jannah. She was concerned about
her dīn.
In Abu Dāwūd: A man lost his son, and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) offered to make
a du‘ā’ for his son to come back to life if the man wanted. He said, “Be patient and you will
have Jannah or I can make du‘ā’ and you will be like everyone else.” The man chose Jannah.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would seek refuge in Allāh from sudden death. Many
people say they want to die in their sleep. The ṣāliḥīn liked to go through fever and a period of
sickness before dying because it was a form of purification. When they got sick, they were
happy because they felt it was a form of purification. When ‘Abdullāh b. al-Mas‘ūd was passing
away, he was asked by someone, “Should I go and bring you a doctor?” He said, “The doctor is
the one who made me sick in the first place (meaning Allāh).”
We need hardship in our life because it is Allāh purifying us.
Burn the precious metal until it comes out pure and the person is beloved to Allāh. Imām Ibn
al-Qayyim said, “Sins need to be burned either with the pain of regret in this world or the fire
of Hell in the hereafter.” Think about this. Some people will go to Hellfire before going to
Jannah. We ask Allāh not to enter us into Hellfire for a single moment. Āmīn. Some people will
have to pay their dues and be purified before entering Jannah.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) purifies us in other ways.

What is Ikhlāṣ?
What is purity? Ikhlāṣ. You go through tazkiyah and fitnah to attain ikhlāṣ. Ikhlāṣ literally
means purity and when something is raw. The Arabs used this word to describe dough that
hasn’t been made into anything. When metal first comes out of the process of being burned, it
has the quality of ikhlāṣ. To achieve purity, you have to get rid of the impurities.
In Sūrat’l-Ikhlāṣ, the word ikhlāṣ is not mentioned. Imām al-Qushayri said the three sūrahs
before Sūrat’l-Ikhlāṣ are introductions to Sūrat’l-Ikhlāṣ. Sūrat’l-Kāfirūn: relinquishing yourself of
the impurity of shirk completely. “I refuse to worship what you worship. I will stick to tawḥīd.”
The beginning of “la ilāha illa Allāh” is relinquishing yourself. Then is Sūrat’l-Naṣr, which means
victory for those who purify themselves. Sūrat’l-Masad is the humiliation of those who decided
to keep themselves filthy. Abu Lahab refused to purify himself from shirk, so he will stay in
Hellfire.
Then in Sūrat’l-Ikhlāṣ, Allāh tells about the pure worship of Allāh. Sahl b. ‘Abdullāh al-Tustari
was asked what the most difficult station for the soul to attain is, and he said ikhlāṣ because the
self gets nothing out of it. Ikhlāṣ is doing things purely for the sake of Allāh (subḥānahu wa
ta‘āla).
Ḥadīth qudsi: Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “I am the most worthy to not have anyone
associated with me [in shirk]. Whoever does something and mixes the intention, I abandon
him and his shirk.” Ikhlāṣ is pure love, worship, and sincerity for Allāh. It is what happens
tazkiyah and fitnah. It is the station we are trying to reach.
What is Tarbiyah?
Whenever you purify the gold, you then have to shape it. This is tarbiyah. This is the science
we will be studying in this class. Tarbiyat’l-nafs. Disciplining the soul and raising the soul and
cultivating al-nafs’l-muṭmainnah, a soul that is at peace and tranquil.
In Iḥya Ulūm’l-Dīn, the section is called riyāḍat’l-nafs, meaning the discipline / exercise / sports
of the soul. Your soul needs a regimen.
Chapter 2 | Understanding Your Enemy

The Enemy Within: The Nafs
Imām Junayd said, “The nafs is the most severe battleground of any human being. If you defeat
your nafs, then you will be victorious over anything else.” The hardest thing about the nafs is
that we don’t realize that the nafs is an enemy. It is called jihād’l-nafs, meaning to struggle
against your own soul. It is the greater struggle.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily a person will be engaged in a state of
struggle and has not once been struck with a sword.” Scholars say the greatest struggle is the
struggle against yourself. Many times we like to blame Shayṭān.
Leave Shayṭān alone and blame yourself. Seek refuge in Allāh from him, but when you mess up,
own up to your own faults. How will you spiritually progress if any time something bad
happens you blame the Shayṭān?
The nafs can become an enemy for you and fight you. The Shayṭān whispers to the nafs, and the
soul is the doer. Shayṭān is the talker, and you are the doer. Recognize the nafs first. In Sūrah
Ya Sīn, Allāh says that on the Day of Judgment your hands and legs come and testify against
you. The ākhirah is make-up time. The hereafter is when you make up your time. If you fight
yourself now and recognize yourself, your lowly desires, and when your self is trying to push
you to something bad, then you can fight it.
al-Shayṭān
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Shayṭān places obstacles in every way the son of
Ādam undertakes to obey Allāh.” (Aḥmad) Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) is telling us
the way Shayṭān works on you. “First he obstructs his way to Islam by saying, ‘Will you adopt
Islam and abandon the religion of your family and what you were raised upon?’ He tells
Shayṭān to go away and disobeys Shayṭān and becomes Muslim. Then the Shayṭān hinders his
path for hijrah (emigrating for the sake of Allāh to Madīnah). Shayṭān comes to the man and
says, ‘Will you emigrate and abandon your land and everything that you have and your wealth
and your shops? A person will come and take everything that you had.’ [What Shayṭān said was
coming true because they looted the stores in Makkah.] The man says, ‘Go away’ and disobeys
him and still emigrates for the sake of Allāh. [When the man is going to engage in battle, they
are outnumbered.] Shayṭān comes to the person and says, ‘Are you going to sacrifice your life
and someone else will share a bed with your spouse? Your wealth will be distributed amongst
your inheritors and no one will care for you.’ The man disobeys him and continues in the path.
Allāh has made it a right upon Himself to admit that person to Paradise whether he drowns, is
cast off of a mountain, dies of a stomach disease, is hit by a dabbah (moving saddle).” Allāh has
made him a martyr. Why? He was engaged in a greater battle: the battle with Shayṭān and
himself.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said everyone has their own Shayṭān, and he flows in your
veins like the blood. ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “Even you?” He said, “Even me, but my
Shayṭān aslam.” The scholars say either he became Muslim or submitted / gave up.
Everyone has to deal with his / her own devil. Some people have a Shayṭān that is very active.
Is it possible to exhaust our Shayṭān to the point where he starts despairing? Yes, but the
battle never ends. When Imām Aḥmad was dying, he was between consciousness and being
awake. His son ‘Abdullāh was sitting with him and telling him to say la ilāha illa Allāh. Imām
Aḥmad says, “No! Not yet! No! Not yet!” ‘Abdullāh later asks him, “What happened to you?”
He said, “I saw my Shayṭān in a dream, and he appeared humiliated and in raggedy clothes and
broken and said, ‘O Aḥmad, you have escaped me.’” Imām Aḥmad was telling him, “No, not
yet.”
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “If Shayṭān saw you consistently obeying Allāh, he will seek you
time and time again. If he sees your consistency, he grows hopeless of you and rejects you. If
he sees you losing it, then he has hope.” The Shayṭān perceives weakness, but if a person is
consistently engaged in pursuing Allāh, then he loses hope.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “It has reached me that an angel goes out holding
his flag with the first person to the masjid and stays holding his flag until he returns and enters
his home with it. Shayṭān goes out holding his flag with the first person to go to the
marketplace and stays holding the flag until he puts in his home.” At that time, the sūq
(marketplace) was the place where evil would take place. It was an environment where you
could sin most.
Shayṭān can lose hope in you or keep on fighting with you.
Chapter 3 | Understanding Change

Can I change?
Am I capable of changing? Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “The nafs is like a strong horse. The
goal is not to kill it but to tame it.” You want to keep yourself in control. It is good to have a
strong and powerful horse as long as you are in control of it and it is not in control of you.
Allāh does tell us in the Qurʾān “those who swallow their anger” and not “those who do not
have anger.” Allāh does not expect you to eliminate and suppress your desires and natural
things inside you but to keep them tamed.
Jealousy can be good or bad if uncontrolled. Sometimes anger can be good. Imām al-Ghazāli
said, “If a person has no anger whatsoever, how can he defend himself against someone who is
trying to kill him?” It is good to have certain thing in their proper doses.
Imām al-Ghazāli said, “Human beings claim that they cannot change. A bear can be taken from
its savagery to becoming a companion. A dog would naturally attack you but can become your
guide.” He mentions a falcon and other types of animals. No human being can claim that he
cannot change. Animals can change, which is a proof that the human being can change.
Everyone is able to change and has that capability. Allāh gave you these examples so that you
can focus on yourself.
You have to be willing to take the medicine. That is the problem: the unwillingness to commit
to changing yourself. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh has given for every
disease its cure.” This includes spiritual diseases and problems, but you have to be willing to
go through the pain of it.
Guidance is from Allāh
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The hearts are between two fingers of the fingers
of the Most Merciful. If Allāh wills, He guides it or turns it away.”
If something is in between the fingers, you can turn it one of two ways. The reason why this is
so important is not to say that you should be hopeless and wait for the guidance of Allāh. Allāh
tells us in the Qurʾān that those who seek guidance will be guided. “Those who strive in Our
way, We guide them to the various paths of good.”
Guidance comes from Allāh. You may be trying and striving to do something over and over
again. You may be trying to get khushū‘ in your ṣalāh and keep trying and all of a sudden it is a
360 degree turn in your life and you are unrecognizable even to yourself. There are so many
incidents in the biography of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam).
There is a sister from Canada. Sr. Julie became Muslim while in her second year of law school
and in 365 days she memorized the entire Qurʾān.
When Allāh guides you, things happen. We are trying to make ourselves worthy of guidance
from Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). If you go to the grocery store and your child takes a bag of
chips and eats the entire bag, you will hand the cashier the bag and pay for it. The point we
are trying to make is that the cashier is not going to be surprised or call security because it was
cheap. If you take a $300 box of chocolates or something valuable and open it up, security will
come and get you because it is valuable.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says in the Qurʾān: God has purchased from you your wealth and
souls so that you can get Jannah. This means you pay first and then you get it. It is kind of
“shirk-y” if someone is doing something wrong and tells someone else to make du‘ā’ for Allāh to
guide them. You have to do something yourself and get out of it.
The Jabariyyah think that Allāh makes us do everything. They said Fir‘awn was as beloved to
Allāh as Mūsa was because he did what Allāh created him to do. Everybody looks for someone
else to blame except for themselves. When Iblīs messed up and did what he did, who did he
blame? Iblīs blamed Allāh. He said, “O my Lord, You led me astray, so I will lead all of them
astray.” Ādam confessed and said, “O Allāh, we did this to ourselves.”
You have to seek guidance from Allāh and struggle so that He will guide your heart. Guidance
is not something that just comes to you. At the same time, people say it isn’t fair that one
person is guided and another person is not. What is the point then of living through this life?
Compulsion in Islam relieves you of this responsibility. You aren’t charged if you sleep
through the ṣalāh but you are charged if you waste time through the ṣalāh.
‘Ammār b. Yāsir was tortured by the disbelievers and cursed the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) because they told him to. He was upset and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
asked him what was wrong and he said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, when they were torturing me, they told
me to curse you and I cursed you.” He said, “Did you say it from your heart or tongue?” He
said, “My tongue.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If they do it to you again,
then you curse me again.”
Allāh says in the Qurʾān: “When they turned away, Allāh turned their hearts away.” They
became unworthy of guidance. The first one to turn away was not Allāh.
When it comes to tawbah, Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Allāh turned to them so that they
could turn to Allāh.” Allāh starts off this process.
Allāh doesn’t force us into misguidance.
And [some] among their fathers and their descendants and their brothers - and We chose them
and We guided them to a straight path. (al-An‘ām: 87)
And Allāh invites to the Home of Peace and guides whom He wills to a straight path (Yūnus: 25)
And so those who were given knowledge may know that it is the truth from your Lord and
[therefore] believe in it, and their hearts humbly submit to it. And indeed is Allāh the Guide of
those who have believed to a straight path. (al-Ḥajj: 54)
By which Allāh guides those who pursue His pleasure to the ways of peace and brings them out
from darknesses into the light, by His permission, and guides them to a straight path. (al-
Mā’idah: 16)
Excuses for Not Correcting Oneself
The scholars say the person who makes excuses reaches a state of inactivity. The person
blames Allāh and says that the deeds committed are Allāh’s fault. Imām Ibn Qudāmah says, “To
say my evil deed is not my fault but Allāh’s fault because Allāh created me is like a person
having a baby out of adultery and then saying that they are not going to pay for the child
because Allāh created the child.” Is that justifiable? No. You took the steps, so you can’t
blame Allāh.
Other excuses: “I was born this way,” “I am not from a Muslim family.” Ibn al-Qayyim said in
his book al-Fawā’id, “Abu Ṭālib drowned in the seas of misguidance while Salmān the Persian
was safe on the coast. Al-Walīd b. al-Mughīrah, the honor of the Arabs, preceded all in straying
away from Allāh while Suhayb, the Roman, excelled above all Arabs. Al-Nājashi was in
Abyssinia and called labbayk allāhumma labbayk. Bilāl, the slave, called out, ‘Ṣalāh is better than
sleep.’ Abu’l-Ḥakam (Abu Jahl) fell deaf and became the father of ignorance. Another believed
in Allāh despite never seeing Rasūlullāh. ‘Abdullāh b. Ubayy al-Salūl prayed behind the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for years and still died a disbeliever.” There are no excuses
whatsoever. It is not about where you are from or who your parents are.
Bilāl heard his master Umayyah cursing the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and learned
that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was calling for tawḥīd. He became Muslim, was
tortured, and was on the point of death. ‘Umar asked Bilāl much later in the golden age, “Our
master who was freed by our master (Abu Bakr), why when you were being tortured were you
only saying ‘aḥadun aḥad’?” Bilāl said, “Wallāhi, if I had known anything other than One, I
would have said it.” He didn’t know any other Names of Allāh.
When your heart turns towards Allāh, Allāh will guide you. In 1996, in Makki masjid in New
York, a man walked in at ṣalāt’l-maghrib with his shoes and said, “I want to become Muslim.”
He looked like he was panicking. They asked him if he knew anything about Islam, and he said
he didn’t but he knew it was the truth. The imām gave him shahādah. The man became so
happy, he broke into tears and became soft-spoken and said, “Thank God.” He hugged
everyone and they gave him the Why Islam? literature. He walked outside of the masjid and
was saying salām and a car came and hit him and he died. His heart wanted Allāh, and he
wanted to change now.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us about a man who lived in Madīnah. He showed up
at the Battle of Badr as fighting started so they asked if he was fighting for Allāh or for
nationalism. He said he was there for Allāh and took shahādah. He died. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would quiz the people and ask, “Who was the man who died a
martyr and entered Paradise without praying a single prayer, without making a single wuḍū’,
and without fasting a single day?” He didn’t make any excuses and wanted to be a Muslim.
The first excuse: “We are born this way.”

Al-Ghazāli said the excuse is “my khuluq is like my khalq.” We make a prayer: “O Allāh as you
have beautified exterior (khalq), beautify my character.” Khuluq is your interior and character
and inner beauty. Al-Ghazāli said, “Some people will say they are born with a hot temper and
raised in this environment. They will make the excuse that changing the khuluq is like
changing the khalq.” If you try to change it, then you will end up in a worse situation than
before.
The second excuse: Self-pity

We feel too sorry for ourselves and say it is too hard to be Muslim and do things. “I’m going to
lose my friends.” “People will look at me funny.” “I can’t pray in public; I need to pray in my
car.” We feel sorry for ourselves. We talk as if we live in the worst situation. Then we start
feeling sorry for ourselves that we are not going to change. A quotation from Elizabeth Elliott:
“Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection. A sink-hole from which no rescuing hand can
grab you because you have chosen to sink.” When you have decided to sink is when you
cannot get out of it.
The third excuse: Blaming the religion for the flaws of religious people.
“All shaykhs are liars.” “Those people come out of the masjid and do this and that.” How many
times do you see people make an excuse for their own failure by looking at other people?
The How’s and When’s of Change
1. Things that cannot be changed.

The sun, the moon. There are constants in the universe. No human being has a spiritual
condition that cannot be changed.
2. Things that have potential but, if not nourished properly, will go to waste.
When you hear “māshā’Allāh she does this and that but…” then you know there is wasted
potential. Al-Ghazāli gave the example that you can’t plant a date seed and expect to grow
apples and you can’t plant an apple seed and expect to grow dates. Everyone has unique
qualities, and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) could extract them from people. He
channeled someone’s anger the right way. If a person had leadership qualities, he put them
where they would be the most effective. Mu‘ādh was sent to Madīnah to teach the people.
Jā‘far was eloquent and only 21 years old but was sent to Ḥabashah. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “People are like precious stones. The best of you in ignorance are the
best of you in Islam if they understand / comprehend.”
3. Things that are harmful but can be destroyed with effort ranging from very little to great.
Sometimes you attain certain qualities, especially the longer you have been in it, but it can be
changed and worked on.
4. Things that can go both ways

For example: Facebook. If you are using to post pictures of yourself in the mirror or to send
messages to the opposite gender, then it is ḥarām. If you use it for daw‘ah, it can be good.
Imām al-Dhahabi narrates in his biography of the notables (the companions) a story of a man
named Jad‘an who used to be a singer. One day, ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd was passing by and heard
him singing and said, “If only he would use that voice to recite Qurʾān.” Jad‘an heard and
started to cry and ran after ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd. He became pious and ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd’s
student.
Anger is good with things that are displeasing to Allāh. Jealousy is good if you try to act
productive so no one surpasses you in religion. Generosity is good as long as the giver doesn’t
put himself in debt or neglect his family. Courage is good as long as it doesn’t make you
arrogant. Humility is good as long as it doesn’t become disgrace.
Make your desires conform to the Sunnah. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “No one
of you truly believes until his desires conform with what I have brought.” You start to desire
good.
Chapter 4 | Understanding Yourself

Your Ḥāl vs. Your Maqām
Ḥāl and maqām both translate into “state” or “situation,” but they mean very different things
in Arabic. Your ḥāl is the situation you are in right now but you don’t necessarily reach maqām
until it becomes a pattern of behavior. Can a liar tell the truth? Yes, but it doesn’t make him a
truthful person the first time he tells a truth.
Maqām is the station. For example: the station of truthfulness, the station of generosity, the
station of forbearance. When Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “al-ṣābirīn wa’l-ṣābirāt…” and all
these lofty positions, these are people who have reached a pattern of behavior so that they are
called by that name. Doing something one time doesn’t mean that quality is attributed to you.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily a person will tell the truth continuously
until he is written with Allāh as ṣiddīq. A person will lie until Allāh writes him down as a liar.”
Just because you give a lot of money does not make you a generous person. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) mentioned a person who gives $100K versus $1 and said that the $1
surpassed the $100K because the one who gave the $1 only owned $2. The one who gave $100K
had a million dollars. The one who gave $1 is more generous than the other.
We have characteristic traits but cannot exercise them more because of our circumstances.
Ibn Qudāmah mentioned that on the way to Ḥudaybiyyah, the camel of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) refused to move, and they said the camel was being disobedient. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The camel did not become disobedient and that is not the
character of Qaswah. The only thing that held it back was what held back the elephant.”
Because of one incident you cannot assign a trait to a human being.
How far away are you?
There are four situations that you could be in when you are far away from Allāh.
1. Simple ignorance (jahl basīṭ). Some people are good and want to come to Allāh but don’t
have any knowledge. When you give them da‘wah, they become better Muslims than
anyone else.
2. Compounded ignorance. A person who is ignorant because they are a follower by nature.
They are weak and go with the flow. The ignorance is being fed to them. In the Qurʾān,
Allāh divides people into two categories: the leaders and the followers. In Hellfire are the
weak people and those who filled themselves with pride. Some people just go with the
flow. This person is harder to convince than those in the first category.
3. The innovator (al-mubtadi‘). The Shayṭān comes to the person with innovation after shirk.
If Shayṭān can’t get you to do shirk, then he would rather get you with innovation than
major sin. Shayṭān would rather you commit bid‘ah than commit adultery and interest.
When you commit innovation, you decorate something that is evil and make it look good.
Imām al-Sufyān al-Thawri said, “A person with innovation never makes repentance because
he thinks it is good.” They do acts that are not from Allāh and not from the Sunnah and
think that it is a way of coming closer to Allāh.
Ibn Mas‘ūd found people in the masjid sitting in a circle and saying tasbīḥ with stones. He
threw the stones at them and asked them why they were doing this. They said, “All we
want to do is good.” Ibn Mas‘ūd said, “How many people desire good and never reach it? If
you don’t desist in this, then you will be the enemies of Allāh.” The narrator said that
those people were the first to join the Khawārij. Make sure that what you are doing is
proper.
4. Someone who has Satanic characteristics: he is doing wrong and he likes it. He never
stops. This person is in the worst situation.
The Three Types of Nufūs
1. Nafs’l-baheemah: the animal-like self. The one who pursues his desires freely without any
form of conscience. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says they are just like the dog with its
tongue always out and panting whether you put something in front of it or not.
2. Nafs’l-lawwāmah: the soul that chastises and blames itself. It tries to do good but falls
sometimes. This person holds himself accountable and makes istighfār and comes back to
Allāh. When this soul is presented with good and evil at the same time, it is more likely to
fall into evil. Allāh forgives this type.
3. Nafs’l-muṭmainnah. The soul that is at peace. Imām ibn al-Qayyim said, “Whoever is busy
with himself is distracted from others. Whoever is busy with Allāh is distracted from
himself.” He is so caught up in pleasing Allāh that he forgets his own desires. When Yūsuf
was in the situation with the wife of al-‘Azīz, Allāh says, “she wanted him and he wanted
her had he not seen the proof of his Lord.” Yūsuf said, “I would rather be imprisoned than
do this.” He loved Allāh that much.
When you love Allāh, you start to hate things that your soul naturally desires. The soul at
peace wants to please Allāh and is tranquil. Allāh says in the Qurʾān, “O soul at peace, come
back to your Lord rāḍiyatan marḍiyyah.” Allāh is pleased with this soul.
A tabi‘i said, “To pray two rakʿahs is more beloved to me than Paradise.” His companions
said, “Why?” He said, “The two rakʿahs please Allāh and Paradise pleases me and I would
rather please Allāh.”
The soul that is at peace becomes distracted from itself and favors Allāh. Imām al-Ghazāli
said, “The greatest punishment in the Hellfire is the chance that was missed to truly know
Allāh.”
Baṣar vs. Baṣīrah
Both mean “sight.” The scholar Ibn Qudāmah said, “The body is seen by the baṣar (eyesight)
and the soul is seen by baṣīrah (insight).” How often do you look at yourself? How often is
your introspection?
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Fear the sight (firāṣah) of a believer.” A
righteous person can diagnose things so well. One time Imām al-Shāfi‘i and Imām Mālik were
sitting and someone walked by. Imām Mālik says, “He is a shepherd.” Imām al-Shāfi‘i said, “I
think he is a carpenter.” Someone went to him and asked him his profession and he said, “I
used to be a shepherd but now I’m a carpenter.”
A person with baṣīrah has vision and can look at himself. You naturally feel uncomfortable
around certain people. This is the fiṭrah.
The Himmah Never Dies
Himmah means ambition. If you truly want to change yourself, leave the things that are
prohibited and in the red and grey areas. Leave the doubtful matters. We live in an age when
we want the easy fatwa. We just want to know how to make something ḥalāl. We are not
willing to commit ourselves and don’t really want to change. We just want the easy way out.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “What is permissible has been made clear and
what is ḥarām has been made clear and between them are doubtful matters. Whoever grazes
around the doubtful matters will fall into it.” This is why a believer has warā‘ (caution). One of
the ṣaḥābah said, “We left half of the ḥalāl things out of fear that we would fall into the ḥarām.”
There is an axiom in fiqh to always stay away from difference of opinion and stay on the side of
caution, and you will be rewarded.
Imām Qādir al-Jilāni said, “The ḥasanāt (good deeds) of normal people are the sayyi’āt (bad
deeds) of righteous people.” For example, you show up for fajr after a long time and caught the
second rakʿah. Another person is always in the first row and never comes later than 30 minutes
before ṣalāh and if one day he catches just the first takbīr, he is upset.
A man came to Maymūn b. Mahrān (a tabi‘i) for his daughter’s hand in marriage, and he said
that he doesn’t approve of her for him because she loved clothes and jewelry too much. The
man said he loves those things too, so he then said that he didn’t approve of him for her.
Chapter 5 | Experiencing Change

A Deep Look at the Tazkiyah of ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu)
He made a complete 360 degree change in his life. Before Islam, he was someone who used to
say that he would beat on his slaves until he tired. He did all of the terrible things everyone
else did. He was a drunk. After Islam, in his khilāfah a woman stood up and told him that he
didn’t have the right to restrict the dowry because Allāh didn’t allow it. ‘Umar said he was
once in the house with his wife and she hurt his feelings. He got up and went to sit with the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). When he got to the door of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam), he heard his daughter Ḥafṣah raising her voice at him, and he became upset and
chastised her.
How did ‘Umar change himself? The way he disciplined himself is incredible.
One time he was walking in the streets. He used to be the reflection of the Quraysh and was
the most arrogant and prideful man. When he was khalīfah, he wanted to humble himself. A
woman came and said he used to be a little child so he should fear Allāh. People went to her
and asked her why she made him cry, and he told them to leave her alone because she was the
woman who pleaded to Allāh (al-mujādilah) and Allāh answered her.
When ‘Umar would walk on the street, the kids would run away scared. One time ‘Abdullāh b.
Zubayr stood there and ‘Umar said, “Shouldn’t you run away like all the other kids?” He said,
“I don’t think the path is too small for both of us.” ‘Umar picked him up and laughed and said,
“This is the son of his father.” ‘Uthmān said ‘Umar was perfect as khalīfah and what they didn’t
know of him was even better than what they knew of him.
He used to beat down on slaves, and he later said, “How can you enslave a man who was born
free?” He became a man of justice, and his khilāfah was marked with justice. ‘Umar was very
unique. He used his traits.
Once the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was giving a ḥalaqah with women. ‘Umar was
walking by the ḥalaqah and heard the women raising their voices. He walked in and all of the
women ran and hid behind the curtains. ‘Umar said, “You enemies of Allāh! Come out! You
are not ashamed in front of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and you are ashamed in
front of me?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was laughing. The women said to
‘Umar, “You are harsher and harder.” Allāh said to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “If
you were rough and harsh-hearted, they would have run away from you even if you had the
revelation.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “You are harsh, but I have seen that
when you take a path, the Shayṭān takes another path.” He used his toughness in the right
ways and because of that, Allāh honored those qualities in him.
He forced himself to cry. He would never cry in jāhiliyyah. After Islam, he had two black lines
under his eyes because of how much he used to cry. He once walked in on the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Abu Bakr after Badr while they were crying and asked them
why they were crying so that he could cry too.
Did ‘Umar cry from reading the verses of Paradise or Hellfire? Some people are different.
Some of us cry when we hear Sūrat’l-Raḥmān. ‘Umar used to always read the verses of
punishment because he was a rough man and needed to have fear. He treated himself with the
right treatment and read the verses that made him fear Allāh.
One time ‘Umar was sitting and the money from the ummah was coming to him. He saw that
and got up and told the mu’adhdhin to call everyone to the masjid. In those days, when the
ādhān was made and it wasn’t a prayer time, it meant war. They all came to the masjid, and
‘Umar said, “Bismillāh alḥamdulillāh, my name is ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb, and I used to be a barefoot
shepherd in Makkah.” Then he stepped down. ‘Umar said, “I was sitting and the zakāh was
coming from all over the world, and my nafs started telling me that I am the king of the world,
so I wanted to teach my nafs a lesson.”
‘Umar used to be careless and then would say that he feared an animal in Iraq would complain
on the Day of Judgment because its owner overburdened him. He would cry and then laugh,
and he said he was laughing because he remembered one time during the days of ignorance
when they would bring their idols to Makkah, he took dates to make an idol and when he
became hungry, he ate his idol.
He remembered his past and consistently humbled himself. He never thought highly of
himself. He wanted to be like Abu Bakr in everything and would compete with him. One day
he said he was going to beat Abu Bakr and took half of his money to give in charity, and Abu
Bakr, not knowing that ‘Umar did this, brought all of his money for charity.
One day during the khalīfah of Abu Bakr, ‘Umar went to the outskirts of Madīnah to serve the
old women who were there and when he knocked on the first house, the woman said that
someone had already come. ‘Umar asked who it was and she said she could not tell him, so he
waited behind the house and saw Abu Bakr. He said, “O Abu Bakr, I have never traveled a path
of good except that you have already traveled it. You have exhausted everyone who comes
after you.” He looked at a higher standard and wanted to be more.
“Now that in national interest, the responsibility for leading the Muslims has come to vest in
me, I assure you that I will not run away from my post and will make an earnest effort to
discharge the onerous duties of the office to the best of my capacity in accordance with the
injunction of Islam. Allāh has examined me from you and you from me. In the performance of
my duties, I will seek guidance from the Holy Book and will follow the examples set by the
Holy Prophet and Abu Bakr. In this task I seek your assistance. If I follow the right path, follow
me. If I deviate from the right path, correct me so that we are not led astray.”
- From Amīr’l-mu’minīn, ‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb’s Inaugural Address
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “There were people who were muḥadithūn in the
nations before me and if there is going to be a muḥadith in my ummah, it would be ‘Umar.”
The Concept of True Ladhdhah (Pleasure)
Allāh says the ṣalāh is heavy and something that naturally tires you out. The average
basketball player in a game will run 9 miles. When you start to enjoy and find pleasure and
find your worship as a retreat and an escape from the rest of the world, then not only will it
become easy but Rasūlullāh would say, “Calm us down, O Bilāl.” You will start to desire the
prayer and want it because you will know it is the best thing in the world for you.
Faqīh’l-Nafs
This is a concept that is misused. It means “the scholar of the soul.” How do you start to
understand your soul the most and become a scholar of your own soul? This is something very
powerful. Imām al-Ghazāli gives the example of a calligrapher. Before he can do his own
calligraphy, he copies the same calligraphy over and over and over again. Before you can
reach any science, you have to sit and copy someone else over and over again. Then you start
to recognize what is needed for your soul. This doesn’t mean you can leave the Sunnah of the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). It means you become more aware of your weaknesses and
how to treat them. You start to diagnose your soul. No two people are exactly the same.
Allāh says Isḥāq (‘alayhi’l-salām) was a young, knowledgeable man (‘alīm) and Ismā‘īl (‘alayhi’l-
salām) was a forbearing man (ḥalīm). Weigh yourself against the qualities in the Qur’an and
start to see what can you do and where you fall in this. Diagnose your own weaknesses and
start to figure it out.
If you start to love your good deeds, after this weekend something will change in your life even
if it is just one thing. Something will change and you will feel the love in Allāh and acts of
worship become easy. When you love Allāh, it becomes your source of pleasure.
YouTube Video:
A Turkish old man praying the whole qiam prayer standing on one leg in Mecca
Unit 2 | Making the Change

Chapter 1 | Knowledge
In the books of tazkiyah, they start talking about knowledge before anything else. People come
to classes looking for knowledge and information, but their intention is to learn something
entertaining or a cool fact. They want to sound smarter. The books of tazkiyah start with
knowledge because it is the purpose of learning.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says:
Say, “Are those who know equal to those who do not know?” Only they will remember [who
are] people of understanding. (al-Zumar: 9)
Allāh is preferring the people of knowledge. Allāh also says:
Allāh will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by
degrees. (al-Mujādilah:11)
Allāh has elevated the people of belief amongst mankind, and amongst the people of belief,
Allāh has elevated the people of knowledge degrees.
We have misused the terms shaykh, mufti, and ‘ālim. You become a “shaykh” in two years and
“mufti” in four years. When people who don’t like those titles for themselves say they are not a
“shaykh,” the response of the people is that they are just trying to be humble, but they are not
to that standard of the people of knowledge.
For someone to claim that they are ‘ālim and mufti with just a few years or weekends of study is
a disrespectful to our tradition. Shaykh ‘Abdul Muḥsin, a major scholar in Madīnah, said at an
awards ceremony, “Wallāhi, I am not even a ṭuwaylib’l-‘ilm (a baby student of knowledge).” The
more you know, the more you feel ignorant.
If you open a book on the fiqh of worship, there are 80 pages on which water is pure and which
water is impure and which water is in between. These 80 pages talking about the purity of
water – you won’t find a scholar in another religion who can write about the foundations of his
faith and creed.
There is the term of one who is knowledgeable. “‘Ulemā’” means one who has studied and has
‘ilm or one who has the title of ‘ālim. When you hear aḥadīth about ‘ulemā’, they are talking
about one who is more learned than his peers.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The virtue of a learned person (‘ālim) over the
worshipper (‘ābid) is like my virtue over the lowest one of the ummah.” This is the difference
between the two.
Some people have made knowledge something exclusive and something that can only be
gained by a select few while the remaining people should be ignorant. Shaykh Omar and
Shaykh Hatem are translating a book “The History of Legislation” and the author talks about
how the ummah went through stages of development when everyone wanted to be a scholar
and then a period of imitation where everyone was a follower. There was no longer a process
of ijtihād and the doors of knowledge were closed. People were so satisfied with imitation and
essential points were being lost.
Imām al-Sha‘bi said, “The only people who used to seek this knowledge were those who
combined two characteristics: intelligence and worship. If a person was intelligent but not
devout, it would be said that only worshippers can attain the knowledge, so he would not seek
it. If a person was devout but not intelligent, it would be said that only the intelligent can seek
the knowledge, so he would not try to seek it.” The worshipper would say that the knowledge
belongs to a certain group of people and he can’t attain that level. Imām al-Sha‘bi is
condemning his generation and said, “I fear that one day people who are neither intelligent
nor devout will be the ones who claim knowledge because the intelligent will abandon it and
the devout will abandon it.”
The Importance of Seeking Knowledge
Abu’l-Dardā’ (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “He who follows a path in quest of knowledge, Allāh will make the path of Jannah
easy to him. The angels lower their wings over the seeker of knowledge, being pleased with
what he does. The inhabitants of the heavens and the earth, and even the fish in the depth of
the oceans, seek forgiveness for him. The superiority of the learned man over the devout
worshipper is like that of the full moon to the rest of the stars (i.e., in brightness). The learned
are the heirs of the Prophets who bequeath neither dīnār nor dirham but only that of
knowledge; and he who acquires it, has in fact acquired an abundant portion.” (Abu Dāwūd &
al-Tirmidhi).
The Intention behind Seeking Knowledge
Al-Ghazāli said, “We started off seeking knowledge for other than Allāh, but knowledge refused
to give itself except for Allāh.” He belonged to a tradition of scholars and said that when he
started off, he was doing it for something else, but he found the knowledge was not being
retained and was refusing to come to him. Al-Ghazāli went through phases and had an
extreme phase where he said things that were not compliant with the Sunnah. Imām al-Jawzi
summarized the Iḥya in the book Minhāj’l-Qāṣidīn and included the authentic aḥadīth. Ibn
Qudāmah wrote Muqtaṣar Minhāj’l-Qāṣidīn.
Al-Ghazāli tells a story: “One time I was walking and had all my books. A thief came and stole
all of my money and all of my books. I called out to the thief and asked, ‘Can I have my books
back? You will not use them anyway.’ The man said to him, ‘Is your knowledge in these
books?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ The thief then said, ‘How will you claim to have any knowledge then?’”
The thief shamed him, and he spent some time purifying his intention. Bidāyat’l-Hidāyah is a
book on his journey finding Allāh and purifying his intentions.
Make sure that you are seeking knowledge from the right reasons, otherwise from the very
start, your pursuit will not be blessed, and Allāh will humiliate you. ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd once
told a man, “If you are going to seek knowledge for one of three reasons, then don’t seek it.
The first one is if you want to seek knowledge so that you can shame the ignorant…” Many
times people will take one class and go home and tell their parents that everything they have
been doing is bid‘ah and ḥarām. All of a sudden they are shaming their parents, which is not
the intention of the classes. The problem is not with the knowledge but with the intention of
the person seeking the knowledge. “…Or if you like arguing with the people of knowledge. Or
if you are doing it so that you can draw attention to yourself.” Sometimes people say, “Shaykh,
I want to go to Madīnah or go study because I want to be a big speaker like x or y.” The life of a
speaker is not as glamorous as you think it is. It is not fun to be away from your family so
many days of the week. Also, if that is why you are starting to seek knowledge, then there is
something wrong. If you want to be a big-shot speaker, then it is wrong. Ibn Mas‘ūd said, “If
you are doing it for one of those three reasons, then don’t do it.”
The amount of intention and sincerity will show in its efforts. When someone has sincerity,
they will continuously work and show enthusiasm. If a person has sincerity in the masjid, then
it doesn’t matter what transitions the board goes through but he will keep on working the
same way because he wasn’t doing it for them in the first place. Enthusiasm and effort come
from sincerity.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “He who does not acquire knowledge with the sole intention of seeking the
Pleasure of Allāh but for worldly gain will not smell the fragrance of Jannah on the Day of
Resurrection.” (Abu Dāwūd).
The Effort of Seeking Knowledge
‘Abdullāh narrated on the authority of his father Yaḥya: “Knowledge cannot be acquired with
sloth.”‫‏‬
When you read the name “‘Abdullāh” by itself in books of tafsīr or fiqh, it refers to Ibn Mas‘ūd.
When you read “al-Ḥasan” refers to al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri.
‘Abdullāh (this is ‘Abdullāh b. Yaḥya b. Ma‘īn) said on the authority of his father Yaḥya,
“Knowledge cannot be acquired by laziness.”
Al-Qāḍi Abu Yūsuf is the greatest scholar in the Ḥanafi madh-hab (if not the second greatest).
He said, “Al-‘ilm (knowledge) will not give you part of it unless you give it all of you.” You will
not attain even a little bit of knowledge unless you give it your all.
Imām Aḥmad was the most famous scholar in the world towards the end of his life. He wanted
to study from different scholars who were inferior to him. He was attending the circles of his
students and would wrap his face and act like someone else. Imām Siraaj Wahaj said, “One of
the problems we see with Western scholars and imāms is that none of them attend each others’
lectures. Compare that to the scholars of the past who would sit in the lectures of their
students.” Imām Aḥmad really wanted to learn from a scholar in Yemen of the name ‘Abdul-
Razzāq al-Sināni who was a famous scholar of ḥadīth. ‘Abdul-Razzāq wanted to study with
Imām Aḥmad, but Imām Aḥmad beat him to it. Imām Aḥmad said he was going to go to Ḥajj and
ask to study with him, but he was too poor to go to Ḥajj, so he took a job carrying people’s
luggage. On the way to Ḥajj, he was carrying people’s luggage. He reached Ḥajj. At that time, it
was a journey requiring months of time. He gets to Ḥajj and sees Imām ‘Abdul-Razzāq, and
Imām ‘Abdul-Razzāq says, “May Allāh forgive you. I would have come to you. What questions
do you have?” He said, “I have to come to you in your home and learn from you there.” Imām
Aḥmad in Ḥajj took a job to carry people’s luggage to Yemen to follow Imām ‘Abdul-Razzāq to
sit with him and ask him five questions.
The people in the past traveled from city to city and took a journey of months to learn one
ḥadīth. Now we have the internet, scholars who come to you, and scholars in your own locality
and people still don’t go. The effort comes from the sincerity a person has.
In those days, the scholars would only take you as a student if you were sincere. Al-A‘mash
wanted people to work hard for the knowledge. He had a dog in front of his house and said
that if anyone wanted to learn aḥadīth, they had to get past the dog. When the dog died, he
was sad and said, “This dog died fisabilillāh.”
If you really want it, you have to struggle for it. ‘Abdullāh b. ʿAbbās became the scholar of this
ummah at the age of 13. He spent less than 3 years with the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam). He was 10 years old when he started with the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), but
he was so keen on following his every move and observing him and learning from him. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) made du‘ā’ for him: “O Allāh, give him an understanding of
this religion.” When the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) died, ‘Abdullāh b. ʿAbbās told his
friend, “Today all of the ṣaḥābah are here, so let’s go start seeking knowledge from them.” His
habit became to sleep in front of the doors of the ṣaḥābah until they came out. They would ask
him, “Why are you doing this? You are the cousin of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam).”
He said, “Knowledge has to be pursued.” The ṣaḥābah would start checking their doors before
sleeping to make sure he was not sleeping there. This is why he became the great person he
became. People who start off with a bad intention get paid back and Allāh exposes them. He
has a beautiful statement: “I humiliated and humbled myself as a student, so I was honored as a
teacher.” He went through the trials and hardship of knowledge and did not stop and was not
arrogant with his teachers. He was not pursuing it for the wrong reasons.
The students of those students of knowledge who start attacking other scholars and arguing
with other people end up doing the same thing to them and they are exposed the same away.
The reason why you make effort is because the believer cannot stand to not know about his
Lord. What does this mean? Imām Ibn ‘Uthaymīn was asked about blind following and said,
“Blind following is permissible, but it is like going to the bathroom. You know you have to do
it, but you don’t want to live in the bathroom your entire life.” This means that the believer
wants to know everything about his Lord and his dīn.
Ḥadīth: “The believer is never satisfied. His thirst is never quenched from good that he would
hear.” As much as the students immersed themselves in knowledge, they were afraid of saying
that they knew everything, and they would easily say, “I don’t know. Allah knows best.”
(Shaykh Aḥmad Shākir classified it as authentic, Imām al-Ghazāli classified it as weak)
They were afraid to speak about knowledge because they realized, once they immersed
themselves in it, how extensive it really is. Imām al-Sha‘bi, the teacher of Imām Abu Ḥanīfah,
was asked a question and said, “I don’t know.” The man said, “What kind of a scholar are you
then?” He said, “Even the angels said ‘we don’t know,’ so if they can say this then who am I?”
In Sūrat’l-Baqarah, the angels said they don’t know. A person immerses himself with the efforts
and doesn’t do it to argue with people or to shame anyone and he doesn’t do it to claim that he
has all knowledge, and he is not ashamed to say, “I don’t know,” when he doesn’t know, and he
actually likes saying “I don’t know” because it is the safer answer.
Ibn ʿAbbās (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated something about ‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu).
Bonds based on knowledge are beautiful. ‘Umar says, “I used to have a neighbor from the anṣār
who would live in the area of Bani Ummayyah, and we used to take turns with the ḥalaqah of
the Messenger (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). My neighbor would attend one day and I would
attend the other day, and we would teach each other what we learned.” You can’t make it to
every class, but you want others to tell you what they learned. You want to try to gather as
much as you can.
Imām al-Dhahabi said that from the time of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to his time,
he documented 10,000 women scholars of ḥadīth. When people ask the question “why aren’t
women imāms?” Tell them that we settled that a long time ago. A scholar of ḥadīth has a much
higher status than an imām. It is obviously not because of her status that a woman should not
be an imām because otherwise she wouldn’t be a scholar of ḥadīth. Imām al-Dhahabi said,
“There has never been a weak female narrator of ḥadīth.” In ‘ilm’l-rijāl, there has never been a
weak female narrator of ḥadīth.
There is an idea outside and inside of the community that women should not learn. People
don’t think “I want my daughter to be a scholar or ‘ālim.” Unfortunately we don’t think that
way and we have devalued the concept of women seeking knowledge in our dīn. ‘Ā’ishah
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “The best women are the women of the anṣār because they didn’t allow
their sense of modesty to stop them from seeking knowledge.” Imām Ibn Hajar described how
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) forbade the men from forbidding the women from
going to the masjid and said, “One of the reasons for that is their insistence on seeking
knowledge.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) gave them a separate day to teach them,
and they still wanted to attend the ḥalaqāt. The ḥadīth of the punishment of the grave is
narrated by Asmā’ bint Abi Bakr, and she said, “I was trying to hear what he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) was saying, but the men were crying so loudly I couldn’t hear. When people were
leaving, I started to ask what was making everyone cry. They said, ‘The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily in the grave there is a trial that is more severe than the trial of
al-Dajjāl.”’” She was there and wanted to know.
Look at the lives of the wives of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The books of aḥadīth
would be incomplete with the aḥadīth of the ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha). Some scholars said
that some of the wisdom behind Allāh commanding the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to
marry her while she was young was that so she could live longer to teach us about the Sunnah
of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She narrated over 1,600 aḥadīth and gives us the
inner look of how he was inside of his house. ‘Urwah b. Zubayr said, “I have heard the
speeches of Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthmān, ‘Ali, and Abu ‘Ubaydah b. Jurrah and none were as
eloquent as ‘Ā’ishah.” This shows that they did not look at her scholarship as a threat or as
something that was wrong.
Ibn Taymiyyah said, “48% of the fatāwa from the companions came from Umm Salamah.” She
was a great scholar and advised the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in Ḥudaybiyyah. Abu
Mūsa al-Ashari said, “We, the companions of Allāh’s Messenger, never had difficulty in
understanding aḥadīth except that when we asked ‘Ā’ishah, she knew everything about it.”
‘Ā’ishah was asked by the senior companions about inheritance laws.
Women should step up their game and become scholars and fill the void that we have in the
ummah today.
Being Purified by Knowledge
 The Distinction between Banī Isrā’īl and the Ummah of Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has commanded us to be purified by the knowledge and internalize
it first. In the Qurʾān in Sūrat’l-Baqarah, Ibrāhīm (‘alayhi’l-salām) makes a du‘ā’ to Allāh and says,
“O Allāh, send amongst them a prophet who will teach them the book and the wisdom and
purify them.” Imām al-Shāfi‘i said in the Qurʾān, ḥikmah means Sunnah. Allāh answered the
du‘ā’ thousands of years later. In Sūrat’l-Jumu‘ah, Allāh says, “He is the one sent amongst the
illiterate. A messenger from amongst them who would recite upon them his verses and purify
them thereby and teach them the application of it (ḥikmah).” Allāh put tazkiyah before
application. Allāh perfected the du‘ā’ of Ibrāhīm (‘alayhi’l-salām). After this, Allāh describes
how the scholars of the children of Isrā’īl were. “They were like donkeys stacking books on top
of their backs.” They had much knowledge and understanding, but it was never internalized,
so they used the law for inappropriate reasons. The knowledge did not penetrate the heart
and it became a disease for them.
The most important function of knowledge is to allow your heart to be enlightened by it. Imām
Mālik said, “Knowledge is not memorizing numerous narrations but is instead a light that
Allāh places in the heart of the believer.”
The reason why we pursue knowledge is for tazkiyah and not to learn interesting facts. Imām
al-Sha‘bi was asked the name of Iblīs’s wife, and he said, “I don’t know because I wasn’t invited
to the wedding!” Everyone will get from knowledge what he wants.
The greatest indication that your pursuit of knowledge is not for a sincere intention is when
you only want to learn something interesting or cool. One of the first things people start to
delve into is the fitnah and the battle between ‘Ali and Mu‘āwiyah and determining who was
right. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah was asked, “What do you think about what happened between ‘Ali
and Mu‘āwiyah?” He said, “I seriously doubt that on the Day of Judgment that Allāh will ask
me about ‘Ali and Mu‘āwiyah. Allāh is going to ask me about Nu’mān (his name).” We should
try to stay away from knowledge that is not beneficial.
There is a famous story: Sufyān b. Uyaynah, a great scholar of ḥadīth, once had a student with
him who was following him around and attending his lectures. Sufyān wanted to know what
he is learning and asked him to share the knowledge. He said, “I learned three aḥadīth. I
learned the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) loves sweets and honey. I learned the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘If ‘ishā’ prayer and food coincide, eat first.’ I learned that the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘The reward has gone to the people who have not
fasted.’ (referring to when people are on a journey).”
What are you looking for? You will get what you are looking for. Sometimes someone sits in a
ḥalaqah and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said in an authentic ḥadīth, “It may be that
the listener of good comprehends it better than the speaker.” Sometimes the person who is
listening will catch something that the speaker never understood or thought about from the
ḥadīth. Because of the purity of your heart and the purity of your intellect and what you are
looking for, you will turn it into something purifying for you and understand it and
comprehend it even more than the speaker.
‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz said, “Whoever makes his religion the object of argumentation will
frequently change it.” Don’t make your religion a religion of argumentation. You can give
naṣīḥah, but then move on and don’t be a frequent arguer.
Du‘ā’ of Abu’l-Dardā’:
“I ask Allāh for īmān that never wears out, for certainty that is truthful, and for knowledge that
is beneficial.”
 Choosing the Right Scholar
Many times people say, “How do I know whether or not I should be learning from this person?
How do we figure it out?” Many people think that scholars are insignificant in our religion and
there is no need for them. In the US, there is an academic trend and people think that the
knowledge belongs to everyone so anyone can say what he wants.
We need to address the “no scholar” mentality. The ‘ulemā’ have protected the knowledge and
tradition of this religion for centuries, so we cannot say that anyone can do it and that we
don’t need scholars. The concept of ijmā’ (consensus of the scholars) has protected the
religion. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The scholars of my ummah will never
come to an agreement on something that is wrong.” The scholars interpret the Sunnah. To say
that we can all pick it up and read a book and do what we want is inappropriate. There is a
need for scholars. Some people treat the ‘ulemā’ like priests.
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri (raḥimahullāh) said, “Scholars are more needed than food and drink.
Food and drink sustain the body, and scholars sustain the soul.”
How do we know which scholar we should listen to? There are two very important things to
look for. You have to critique the person and think deeply about it. Look for correctness and
mannerisms.
Ibn Sīrīn (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said: “The knowledge of ḥadīth (in the same manner all other
religious subjects) is included in the dīn. Therefore, before acquiring knowledge, be aware from
whom knowledge is acquired.”
Abu ‘Aliyah said, “I would study for days to a man to hear knowledge from him, and before I
would start learning from him, I would observe his prayer for days. If he was someone keen to
make sure to pray on time and took time in the motions of prayer, then I would listen to him.
If he was neglectful in his prayer, then I thought he would be neglectful in all other matters
too.”
- Correctness
Islam did not come so that we listen to a group of people and not question them. Islam
came to free your mind, but to free your mind in that you have the right to ask scholars
about their evidence and where they got it from. You can ask if narrations are authentic or
not. The scholars should be questioned with adab. Some people are very rude to the
scholars.
There is an idea that you aren’t supposed to ask for evidence or dalīl. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah
said, “It is impermissible for someone to follow me without knowing my evidences.” You
should know the dalīl. It is ḥalāl to make taqlīd and you can follow, but even when you
follow someone in their opinions, you should know his proofs and why he has the opinions
that he has. Allāh says, “Ask the people of knowledge if you don’t know.”
If a scholar tells you that you don’t have the right to question his knowledge, then it means
you should turn around and run. A person should not shy away from sharing the evidence.
If a scholar says, “Let me look into it,” then it is a sign of a good scholar.
There is a “priest mentality” that he is shaykh so-and-so and you can’t ask him questions
about his evidence, but you should be able to ask. Allāh said that the Jews took their rabbis
and priests as lords besides Allāh because the rabbis were making things prohibited
permissible and things permissible prohibited.
The only unquestioned sources in Islam are Allāh and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam).
If a shaykh starts insulting another shaykh, then it means that you need to avoid that
shaykh. When you are asking, you need to refer back to the Qurʾān and Sunnah. Ask the
scholars to provide evidence with good adab and manners.
- Mannerisms
You never find scholars finding credentials by saying they are descendants of the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) or ‘awliyah. If a person says, “I am beloved to Allāh,” then it
means he is not. ‘Ali (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “Allāh has hidden the ‘awliyah amongst his
servants.” It is a secret relationship some people have with Allāh and He adorns them on
the Day of Judgment. None of the four imāms said that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) taught them something in a dream to teach to others. People who try to claim
credentials through miracles or status in society are people you should avoid.
Imām Layth b. Sa‘d, the teacher of Imām Mālik, said, “Even if I saw a follower of innovation
walking on water, I would reject him.” This was reported to Imām al-Shāfi‘i who said, “He
did not go far enough. Even if he was walking in the air air, I still wouldn’t accept him.”
Today we have a lot of “personality cults.” The attitude of the scholars was that they are
human and we are human. If a person wants you to kiss his hands or feet or treat him a
certain way, it contradicts who he is supposed to be in terms of scholarship.
At the time of Imām Mālik, the khalīfah al-Hārūn al-Rashīd said, “I want to hang the
Muwaṭṭa’ inside of the Ka‘bah.” Imām Mālik said, “No, don’t do that! That would not allow
people to differ, and who am I to have my book hanging in the Ka‘bah? It is just a book of
ḥadīth and opinions.” Had Imām Mālik accepted that offer, Allāh would have humiliated
him and people would not have accepted and loved him like they do today.
Shaykh Ibn Jibrīl was one of the most knowledgeable men on the face of the earth at the
end of his life. Whenever people met him when he was in his 80s and tried to kiss his hand,
he would fling them away. The scholars that don’t accept this kind of treatment for
themselves, you should try to honor them. Avoid those who ascribe titles to themselves
and hold out their hands.
Abu Bakr al-Maṭū’i man said, “I sat in the circle of Imām Aḥmad for 12 years while he read
the Musnad to his children. I never wrote down a single aḥadīth but looked at his behavior,
character, and etiquettes.”
Ḥasan b. Ismā‘īl said, “I heard my father say, ‘There would gather in the circle of Aḥmad
five thousand people or more. Less than five hundred would write, and the rest would look
at his good manners and behavior.” Imām Aḥmad would look at the people writing down
and say, “Stop writing. Who am I to have my words written down?”
Imām Sufyān al-Thawri said, “A man who wanted to learn aḥadīth would study manners for
20 years first.”
If a person is arrogant and doesn’t treat people properly, he hasn’t internalized the
knowledge.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim (raḥimahullāh) said, “If you are going to follow a scholar blindly, make
sure you follow someone who is dead because a living person is still subject to his desires
and may become corrupt and lead you astray.” This is profound advice. Sometimes a
scholar will go through a fitnah and change his opinions.
Look at their character and how much they apply the knowledge they are teaching.
 Acting upon the Knowledge
The most important aspect of knowledge is purifying yourself. The second part is acting upon
it. Dr. Abdul-Rahman Sumayt was a medical doctor in Kuwait and opened many charitable
clinics. Over 5 million people accepted Islam on his hands before he passed away. He is a
“doer”. This is one of the most important things because no matter how much knowledge you
have, if you don’t benefit yourself and others, then it is absolutely pointless and you are like a
library that has closed down. This is where we find the difference between people.
“When Allāh chooses good for a person, He opens the door of action for him and closes the
door of argumentation. When Allāh chooses evil for a person, He closes the door of action to
him and opens the door of argumentation.” If you are a doer and get things done and avoid
issues of argumentation, then it is true knowledge, otherwise it is just information.
Ibn Taymiyyah was given the title Shaykh’l-Islām by other people. Ibn Taymiyyah was born
into a family of scholars. His father was a scholar, his grandfather Aḥmad b. Taymiyyah was a
great scholar, and his grandfather was such a great scholar that his son was lost between the
sun and the moon. Ibn Taymiyyah had brothers who were all scholars too. Whenever we talk
about Ibn Taymiyyah, we are only speaking about one man. Imām al-Dhahabi said, “Imām Ibn
Taymiyyah (Taqiy’l-dīn) had a brother names Sharf’l-dīn who was more knowledgeable than
him.” Why is it that when we say Ibn Taymiyyah we are referring to Taqiy’l-dīn and not his
brother? Ibn Taymiyyah was a doer, and he was on the forefront of da‘wah. He wrote books.
‘Aqīqat’l-wasaṭiyyah (The Balanced Creed) is studied over an entire semester at Madīnah, and he
wrote it in one day. He was on the forefront of everything.
Imām al-Nawawi (raḥimahullāh) wrote Riyāḍ al-Ṣāliḥīn (The Gardens of the Righteous), 40 ḥadīth
Nawawi, and a sharḥ on Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim. When you think of him, you probably think of an old
man. He was arguably the most productive scholar in history, and he died when he was 36
years old. It is about being a doer and not a talker. It is important to act upon the knowledge
that you have.
Dimam b. Tha‘ibah came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he was lying down
and talking to the companions. The man brought his camel and tied it to the post and was in a
rush, so he didn’t tie it properly. He said, “I am going to ask you some questions and won’t be
diplomatic.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Ask.” He said, “Ya Muḥammad,
who raised the skies?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh.” He said, “And who pegged
the mountains?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh.” He said, “Who flattened the
earth?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh.” He said, “I ask you by the One who raised
the skies and pegged the mountains and flattened the earth, did Allāh send you as a Messenger
to us?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) stood up and said, “By Allāh, yes.” He said, “I
ask you by the One who raised the skies and pegged the mountains and flattened the earth, did
Allāh command you to command us with five prayers?” He said, “Yes.” He continued and
asked about the five pillars in the same manner. The man then says, “By Allāh, I am not going
to do any more or any less.” He rushed and left and Anas b. Mālik said he didn’t eve untie the
camel but took the post with him. Anas said, “Before he left, he said, ‘I am Ibn Tha‘ibah.’” The
sun hadn’t set that day except that everyone in the valley of Nu’mān had accepted Islam. He
was a doer. He put his action into knowledge right away even though it was very little.
Al-Imām al-Shāfi‘ī said: “Knowledge is not that which is memorized but instead that which
benefits.”
 Practice What You Preach
Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture?
Then will you not reason? (al-Baqarah: 44)
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) tells us to practice what we preach. Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri was told
by the people to give a khuṭbah telling people to free their slaves because too many people in
Madīnah were engaged in the slave trade. He stood up the next day at the khuṭbah and didn’t
say anything. He did the same the next week. In the third week, he gave a khuṭbah on freeing
slaves. Why didn’t he talk about it in the previous two weeks? Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri didn’t
own a slave and was afraid to tell people to free a slave when he hadn’t done so himself. In
those two weeks, he took a job and saved enough money to free a slave.
 Don’t Preach What You Don’t Practice
O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of
Allāh that you say what you do not do. (al-Ṣaff: 2-3)
The most hated thing to Allāh is saying something you don’t do. The first category is a person
who doesn’t make an effort to practice what he is preaching. The second category is a person
who is a hypocrite because he purposely tells people to do things he has no intention to do
whatsoever. This person is increasing in disease.
Al-Khaṭīb al-Baghdādi narrated that ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) had a young student who would
ask her questions. One day she asked, “Son, have you put into practice what you have learned
from me?” He said, “No, O mother, I have not.” She said, “Then why are you increasing Allāh’s
proof against us? Stop increasing Allāh’s proof against you and me.”
Abu ‘Aliyah was a great scholar and would leave if he had more than 4 people in his lecture.
Sufyān al-Thawri has the title amīr’l-mu’minīn fi’l-ḥadīth. He wouldn’t teach if more than three
people sat with him. In those days, the knowledge still continued because there were so many
other scholars. In these days, we have a shortage, so you should not stop doing but should
keep trying to refine your intention. As long as you are actively engaged in trying to do what
you are saying, then inshā’Allāh you won’t be held accountable. When you intentionally tell
people that which you purposely don’t do, then it becomes a problem.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The best amongst you is he who learns the
Qurʾān and teaches it.” Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “Learning something and teaching it to a
believer is more beloved to me than the world and everything in it.” They loved passing on
the knowledge but at the same time they were constantly engaged in struggling to practice
what they preached.
‘Ali said, “Narrate to people what they can understand.” Just because you learn something in a
class, don’t go and tell it to someone who is not ready to hear it. Some people are not ready to
hear certain aḥadīth because they are weak and their faith is still developing. Don’t tell people
that which they are not ready to comprehend.
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “Seek knowledge in a way that doesn’t harm your worship, and
seek to worship Allāh in a way that does not harm your pursuit of knowledge.”
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) went out to people and shouted that the inheritance of the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was being distributed in the masjid. He told people to run
and get the inheritance. The people all rushed to the masjid. When they got there, they saw
ḥalaqahs and people reading Qurʾān and people praying. The people came to Abu Hurayrah and
said, “All we saw was people reading Qurʾān and other things.” Abu Hurayrah said, “This is the
inheritance of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam).”
The Pursuit that Never Ends: What is the greatest difficulty of knowledge?
Imām al-Ghazāli said there are three types of students of knowledge:

1. Those who seek knowledge with evil intentions from the beginning.
2. One who loves the praise he is getting as a result of the knowledge he is gaining, but
his intention is to please Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
3. Those who are successful. The one who purely dedicates himself to seek the
pleasure of Allāh while he is teaching and learning.
Imām al-Ghazāli said there are three difficulties of knowledge:

1. Keeping yourself in the pursuit of knowledge.
2. A person acts upon that knowledge.
3. Being saved and protected from your knowledge. In Spiderman, Dr. Octopus
wanted to create arms to do good, but the arms took over. If you use your
knowledge for corrupt reasons (i.e. to elevate your status, get more money), the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Anyone who seeks knowledge for
something worldly will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise.”
Make sure the knowledge humbles you and doesn’t make you prideful. Do this by consistently
studying. When you go to college, you finish a class and take the exam and never look back at
the subject. ‘Ilm is different. You go through each subject and internalize it and never stop
pursuing.
Imām Abu Ḥanīfah’s two greatest students were al-Qāḍi Abu Yūsuf and Muḥammad al-Shaybāni.
Their status is so high in the Ḥanafi madh-hab that sometimes their opinions supersede the
opinion of Imām Abu Ḥanīfah. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah was not a scholar until his 20s. He was a
successful merchant and businessman. Imām al-Sha‘bi saw Imām Abu Ḥanīfah in the market
and told him that he had the special qualities of honesty and intelligence and should become a
faqīh. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah would look for people with great qualities and polish them and turn
them into scholars. He saw Abu Yūsuf as a child and told his mother that he had special
qualities and wanted to teach him. He said, “One day your child will be fed from the hands of
the kings.” This is exactly what happened because he had such a high status as a judge that
the khulafā’ were after him to serve him.
One day Imām Abu Ḥanīfah realized that al-Qāḍi Abu Yūsuf was not in the ḥalaqah and asked
where he was. He was told that Abu Yūsuf started his own circle. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah wanted to
bring him back to the ḥalaqah, so he told one of his students to sit in his ḥalaqah and ask him,
“If a person takes his garment to a tailor and pays him to tailor his garment and the tailor
steals the thawb and then later feels bad and returns the thawb, then does the man demand his
money back from the tailor? If he says ‘yes’ then tell him he is wrong. If he says ‘no’ then tell
him he is wrong.” The student did this, and then Abu Yūsuf went to Imām Abu Ḥanīfah and
Imām Abu Ḥanīfah started laughing because he knew why he was coming. Imām Abu Ḥanīfah
gave a brilliant answer: “If the tailor took the thawb and had the intention of stealing it before
doing the job, then he has to give the money back, but if he did the job and then kept the thawb
and felt bad and returned it, then he keeps the money.”
A way to humble yourself is: pursue the knowledge, remain in pursuit and never think you are
above the knowledge, and realize that you are not doing knowledge a favor by teaching and
learning. Allāh is doing you a favor. Now the students feel like they are doing the teacher a
favor by staying, and the teacher feels like he is doing Islam a favor. This is a problem, and
knowledge is the victim.
The khalīfah al-Hārūn al-Rashīd sent a messenger to Imām Mālik (raḥimahullāh) to tell him that
he wants him to come to his house to teach his kids Qurʾān. Imām Mālik said his children are
like anyone else and need to come to the masjid to learn. The khalīfah sent two bags of gold
with the same message, and he told the messenger to tell the khalīfah that his children have to
come to the masjid because knowledge is that which is sought. Al-Hārūn al-Rashīd wanted to
teach Imām Mālik a lesson. There was a practice that was established in the later Umayyad
dynasty where the khalīfah would have a high chair during the khuṭbah. Al-Hārūn al-Rashīd
was a righteous man and didn’t like this practice, but he wanted to remind everyone he was
the khalīfah, so he asked for the chair to be put in the masjid during the khuṭbah so that he could
remind Imām Mālik who the boss is. Imām Mālik walked in and ignored him and stood on the
minbar and started the khuṭbah. He said, “In the Name of Allāh. Peace and blessings on the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘Whoever
lowers himself for Allāh, Allāh will elevate his status,’” and then he stepped down. The khalīfah
started crying.
Look at how little we value the people of knowledge today. In Muslim countries, the shaykh is
the lowest person in society and couldn’t pass at anything else. The reason why we don’t value
the people of knowledge is because we don’t value the knowledge itself. You have to put
yourself in a position where you are seeking knowledge and looking for it and feel like Allāh is
doing you a favor by allowing you to seek the knowledge.
The greatest way to keep yourself humble and pure is to consistently remain in the path of
knowledge. Allāh says, “Those who truly fear Allāh are the learned ones.” Why? They know
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) and go after the religion.
 Establishing an Environment of Accountability
Everybody needs people to keep them in check. Even the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said, “My Lord taught me manners.” To do that to someone is to put them in check. The
scholars had the concept of the mu’adhdhib, which is a person who will keep you in check. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The believer is the mirror of his brother.” What is
the function of a mirror? It exposes to you faults and things that you would otherwise not
have been able to see. When you look in the mirror, things become exposed to you. When the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) says this, it means to have people who can expose faults
you would otherwise not have been aware of or recognized. You need people to call you out
and give you advice. When people quote “the dīn is naṣīḥah,” they are saying they have the
right to put you down. The word naṣīḥah, which means advice, was used by Arabs when they
would say, “I purified the honey.” Fitnah is purity from Allāh, tazkiyah is purity from yourself,
and naṣīḥah is when other people purify you.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) mentioned to us a man who did the actions of the
people of Paradise until he was one yard away from Paradise and then he does an action of the
people of Hellfire and becomes of the people of Hellfire. Some scholars say that one of the
reasons for that is that he was not aware of his faults. You need people to call you out and tell
you advice and point out your flaws. The first people to do that are the people of knowledge.
 Developing the Attitude of a True Student
1. The role of the people of knowledge

The first people to give you advice and point out flaws are the people of knowledge. Do not
give bay‘ah to a scholar. The function of bay‘ah has only been used with the khalīfah.
Asking the people of knowledge is not exposing your sins. You should go to them and ask
them for help and ask them for advice when you are struggling with something. Keep the
people of knowledge in your life. The more you give, the more you should be receiving.
The people of knowledge should do this too. Seek advice from those more knowledgeable
than you to correct you.
‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz was the grandson of ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb. His father, ‘Abdul-‘Azīz b.
Marwān, was appointed the governor of Egypt. ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz told his father that
he wanted to stay in Madīnah with the scholars. The father agreed with the condition that
Ṣāliḥ al-Haysan, a great scholar, would watch over him. One day ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz
came to ṣalāt’l-fajr after takbīrat’l-iḥrām. Ṣāliḥ said, “I didn’t see you before ṣalāh, where
were you?” He said, “I was just combing my hair.” Ṣāliḥ wrote a letter to his father to tell
him that his son came to ṣalāt’l-fajr after takbīrat’l-iḥrām because he was combing his hair,
and his father sent a letter back along with a barber to shave his son’s head. When ‘Umar
b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz became the leader, he kept the scholars on top of him and kept asking for
advice. They would sit together and remember death. His favorite scholar was the
Ubaydullāh b. ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd. One time ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz went to the door of
Ubaydullāh b. ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd and knocked and sat for an hour. When Ubaydullāh
came out an hour later, ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz asked, “Why didn’t you come out when I
knocked the first time?” He told him, “I didn’t want you to think that just because you are
the khalīfah that you can knock on the door and come in and don’t have to wait.” After
Ubaydullāh passed away, he said, “If Ubaydullāh was still alive, I would govern all of you
while he governs me.” Having people of knowledge in your life who can correct you and
advise you and counsel you is extremely important.
2. The company of the righteous

‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb said, “May Allāh have mercy on whomever guides us to our faults.”
Imām al-Shāfi‘i said, “I love righteous people even though I’m not amongst them. I hate the
corrupt people although I am amongst them.” He was talking about the importance of
having righteous people around you. Your standards change. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The good friend is like the one who sells perfume – even if you don’t
buy of him, you smell of the fragrance. The bad friend is like the blacksmith – even if you
don’t buy from him, you will smell like smoke.” If you surround yourself with righteous
people, it will up your standard. Ask them for advice and ask them to point out your faults.
‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb said, “Not a single one of you sees a fault of mine except that he points
it out.” After he said this, people started to tell him his faults, and he loved it. He said,
“May Allāh have mercy on a man who points out my faults.” ‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib said, “The
worst possible friend a person can have is a person who flatters you all the time and
expects you to flatter them in return.” These are not your friends but your enemies. You
want someone who is going to call you out and tell you what you are doing wrong. Abu
Bakr and ‘Umar had that special relationship. ‘Umar was a much bigger man than Abu
Bakr. Usāmah b. Zayd had been appointed the leader of the Muslim army by the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he was only 17. When Rasūlullāh died, the people told
‘Umar to talk to Abu Bakr about Usāmah because they thought he was too young to lead
the army. They waited outside the house of Abu Bakr. ‘Umar went inside and said, “I think
he may not be as qualified.” Abu Bakr grabbed ‘Umar from the beard and said, “May your
mother lose you! You want me to do something different than what the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) ordered?” ‘Umar said, “No.” ‘Umar went out and told the people, “May
all of your mothers lose you!”
One of the most valuable advices Shaykh Omar received from a great scholar: “Keep your
old friends because now that you are popular, people may just be befriending you because
you are popular. You need to have those people in your life who love you enough to
correct you.”
3. Consider what your enemies say about you

Al-Ghazāli said, “You don’t find the truth of your flaws until you hear about what your
enemies say about you.” Sometimes there is truth in what they say, even if it is just 20%. A
man came to Zayn al-‘Abidīn, the great grandson of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam),
and spoke ill of him. Zayn said, “Everything you said is true, and what you don’t know
about me is probably worse. May Allāh reward you for pointing out my faults.” He gave
the man a gift.
A man came to Imām al-Shāfi‘i and said, “You are a sinner and liar.” Imām al-Shāfi‘i said, “O
Allāh, if he is telling the truth, then make him succeed and purify me from that sin. If he is
lying, then forgive him for what he said.”
If more than one person is saying something about you, then it means that it is probably
true.
4. Learn from the flaws of people around you

Imām al-Ghazāli says, “‘Īsa was asked how he learned the manners he had, and he said he
learned from the corrupt rabbis and their flaws.” (weak tradition)
Learn to not have those flaws. How can you make sure you have nothing from them?
5. People of all ages

This is hard for the youth and elders. In the Qurʾān, older people have a hard time
accepting from younger people. Ibrāhīm’s father did not accept from him.
Imām al-Muzani said, “In the past, when the older people would see the younger people,
they would say, ‘I need to learn from him because I preceded him in bad deeds.’ When the
younger people would see the older people, they would say, ‘I need to learn from him
because he has preceded me in good.’” Everyone was trying to learn from everyone. This
is really powerful.
Imām al-Shāfi‘i was teaching the fiqh of fasting in Madīnah in the masjid of the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) while he was drinking water and not fasting. People were
wondering why their shaykh was eating and drinking while teaching the fiqh of fasting and
asked him. He said, “I have not reached the age of puberty.” Someone asked, “How old are
you?” He said, “Mind your own business.” The man said, “Why did you say that?” He said,
“I asked Imām Mālik this question and he told me this answer.”
The elders should learn from the youth, and the youth should never feel too arrogant to
learn from those who are older.
6. Your family members

This is probably the most significant. Nobody after Allāh knows you better than your
family, so you need to make sure that you ask them for advice and seek advice from them.
One of the fallacies with “great men” and “great women” is that they have demons in their
closet, which come out later in life. The people inside the household have a totally
different tale than everyone else. One of the beauties of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) is that the more you know him, the more you love him. Anas said, “He was the best
person of character.” He knew him better than others. The wives of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) had nothing but beautiful things to say about him. When Umm Salamah
when heard the ḥadīth “the best amongst you is he who is the best to his family,” she would
say, “You have told the truth, Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam).”
No one knows you better than those exposed to you for the most amount of time. Seek
naṣīḥah from your husbands / wives. Establish the environment of accountability in the
home. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “May Allāh have mercy on a man who
wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes his wife up, and if she refuses, he sprinkles
water on her face. May Allāh have mercy on a woman who wakes up in the middle of the
night to pray and wakes her husband up, and if he refuses, she sprinkles some water on his
face.” It is an environment of holding each other accountable. Create this environment in
the home.
Consider yourself a business, and you are marketing yourself to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
You are trying to seek the Face of Allāh. As a business, when someone posts reviews, which
customers do you look at most? The most frequent buyers. Make sure those who are most
exposed to you are satisfied most. The closer people are to you, the more they should see
your goodness.
If your product is flawed, it doesn’t matter what your customers think. At the same time,
know that none of the advice you receive from people can replace your own tazkiyat’l-nafs
and chastisement of yourself.
Do not become an unadvisable person. There is a ḥadīth in Bukhāri from ‘Ā’ishah: A man
came and sought permission to enter upon the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and he
said, “Let him in, and what a horrible person he is and what a disgrace to his family.” The
man came in and he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) treated him with courtesy. After the man
left, ‘Ā’ishah asked why he treated him with courtesy, and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “The worst of people are those who people avoid advising and correcting out
of fear of being abused.” They know that you have a bad temper and stop giving you
advice. The worst people in the sight of Allāh are those who don’t want to take advice.
Many people have established a reputation of being unadvisable.
7. People above you and below you

Al-Fuḍayl b. ‘Iyāḍ was asked about humbleness. He said, “It is when you submit to the
truth and comply, no matter who you hear it from. Even if it is from the most ignorant of
people, you mandate yourself to comply.” Create an attitude of wanting to be corrected.
Sufyān al-Thawri said, “We loved a people from whom it was said to us ‘fear Allāh.’”
Abu Hurayrah was once guarding some of the charity. He caught a man taking from
charity. The man said he is poor and needs to take care of his family. Abu Hurayrah let
him go. He told the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) what happened, and the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said the man lied and will be back. The next day, the same thing
happened and Abu Hurayrah let him go. He told the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
what happened, and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said the man lied and will be
back. The third time, Abu Hurayrah said he was going to take the man to the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and the man said, “Let me teach you something to protect your
money.” He taught him āyat’l-kursi. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “That was
Shayṭān. He told the truth even though he was a liar.” If Abu Hurayrah can learn from
Shayṭān, then you can learn from anyone.
Heed lessons from everyone. Ask the people around you to keep you in check. The worst
thing to do when someone gives you advice is to then ask them if you can give them advice.
If someone gives you advice, then in that same sitting, do not give them back advice
because your ego may have been bruised.
Seek advice and take it. Don’t respond to it. Thank the person for giving you advice. It is
good for you to keep on seeking advice from people.
Mu‘ādh b. Jabal (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “Seek knowledge, for seeking it for the sake of Allāh is a
sign of consciousness of Allāh, acquiring it is an act of worship, studying it is a glorification,
and searching for it is jihād.”
Chapter 2 | Minding Your Own Business
“Part of someone’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.”
(al-Tirmidhi)
For your own good
The one busy with the people will be distracted from Allāh, but the one busy with Allāh will be
distracted from even himself. Mind your own business. It will change your entire life if you
leave people alone and just worry about yourself.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Beware of
suspicion because suspicion is the worst of all lies.” It is the lying of the heart. For your own
good and so that you don’t waste your own time, don’t follow people’s business.
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “One of the signs that Allāh has abandoned you is when he busies
himself with what does not concern him.” Allāh says in Sūrat’l-Ḥujurāt, “If someone comes to
you with nabā’ (news), then verify it.” Nabā’ in the Arabic language is different from khabr. In
English, they are both news. Nabā’ is news that requires your response. Khabr is all news.
Allāh says, “If nabā’ comes to you, then verify it.” If any other news comes to you that doesn’t
pertain to you, then you ignore it. If it has nothing to do with you, then it is not your business.
This is for your own good because it will waste your time and efforts. It leads to backbiting and
other things.
‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb was on his night patrol. He would take rice and wheat to distribute to the
poor. One night ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd was with him, and they heard music in someone’s house.
‘Umar peeked over the wall and saw an old man with a woman who should not be there, and
she is singing to him. ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb says, “O old man, shouldn’t you be waiting for your
death? Fear Allāh!” The old man responded, “You fear Allāh! You have violated my rights by
spying on me.” ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb started crying and went to ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd who asked
him what was wrong. ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb didn’t say anything and was so afraid that he had
violated someone’s rights. Later, he saw the old man in a gathering and whispered in his ear,
“I just wanted to tell you that by Allāh, I have never told anyone about this in my life, even
‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd who was with me.” The man whispered back, “By Allāh, I have not
committed these sins since that night.”
For the good of your brother
Do not support your brother’s devil against him. How many youth stop coming to the masjid
because they feel like they are being judged?
Giving the benefit of the doubt
Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Give him 70 excuses, and if you cannot think of
excuses, then think that he has an excuse which you can’t think of and don’t know about.
Mind your own business and move on.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “He who sees something which should be kept
hidden and concealed will be on the Day of Judgment like the one who brought a dead girl
buried alive back to life.” This is because you have saved the person’s reputation.
If you find someone doing wrong, don’t delve into their mistakes. Work on yourself and your
own faults.
Whenever you do have to advise people, advise them in a way that beautifies them and doesn’t
disgrace them. There are three things you have to do:
1. Do not advise someone publicly except in the case of one who violates others publicly.
Imām al-Shāfi‘i said to advise someone publicly is humiliation and not naṣīḥah.
2. Advise with gentleness. ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak said to a man yelling at him in the masjid,
“Am I worse than Fir‘awn?” He said, “No.” ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak said, “Are you better
than Mūsa?” He said, “No.” ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak said, “Allāh told Mūsa in the Qur’ān
to speak gentle words to Fir‘awn, so why are you talking to me this way?” Be gentle
when you advise. If youth come improperly dressed to the masjid, you should not
belittle them.
3. Make sure your intention is pure when you advise them and that your intention is to
elevate the person and not humiliate them. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said, “Whoever follows the ‘awrah of his brother, Allāh will expose him even if he is in
the middle of his home.” Your intention should be to make the person a better person.
Imām al-Qisa’i forgot Sūrat’l-Kāfirūn while reciting, and a man by the name of al-Yazīdi
stood up and started to humiliate him. In the next ṣalāh, al-Yazīdi stood to lead ṣalāh
and could not get past “alḥamdulillāhi rabbi’l ʿālamīn.” Allāh will get you back. Make
sure your intention is not to humiliate the person.
Cover the other person. When you cover someone, you hide their fault and beautify
them. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever covers the believer,
Allāh will cover him on the Day of Judgment.” Allāh will conceal your faults on the Day
of Judgment. Imām al-Shāfi‘i said, “Do not allow your tongue to mention the faults of
other people because you are covered in faults and other people have tongues too. If
you fall upon something displeasing of your brother, then conceal it and tell your eye
that other people have eyes too.” Mind your own business! Work on yourself and tell
other people that you need their help.
 What it says about your condition

Chapter 3 | Treating Destructive Flaws
Zakāh means to purify and to grow. When you purify, you allow for a thing to have its natural
growth. Treating the destructive flaws allows your soul to naturally grow. General rules
regarding treating destructive flaws:
 Everything is treated with its opposite.
You treat extremes with extremes. You treat your arrogance by humbling yourself. Treat
your anger by trying to practice forbearance. Imām ibn al-Qayyim said, “In order for a place to
contain something, it must be free from whatever contradicts it. The heart is a space, and the
more you put in the heart what is not Allāh, the less the capacity will be to love Allāh.”
 Prevention vs. Restoration
Some people may take this class and think, “Māshā’Allāh, I have none of these problems and
don’t backbite, don’t lie, don’t have pride issues and don’t get angry.” This is the greatest sign
of hypocrisy. Even as we go through these things and sometimes you think you don’t have the
problem, it is important to take the measures to protect yourself from ever developing that
problem.
Shaykh Hatem says, “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.”
View every forbidden act as a war against Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
 Loving dunya (the world) too much
This is at root cause of pride, anger, and envy. Allāh describes the speech of Iblīs on the Day of
Judgment and says that Iblīs on the Day of Judgment will say, “Allāh gave you a true promise,
and I gave you a promise too.” Allāh promises you things in the Hereafter, and Iblīs promises
you things in the present. The skill is to renounce a present desire in the hopes of a future
promise you know is true.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Allāh promised you pleasures in the Hereafter, so seeking this dunya is
like cutting a plant before its harvest time.” He also said, “Dunya and ākhirah are like two
brides. The ugly one knows her lack of value so she displays herself, and the beautiful one
knows her value so she saves herself for the right one.”
 Consider the disease worse than its expression.
Curing Bad Character
- What is the meaning of khuluq?

Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says in Sūrat’l-Qalam: “You are not by the blessing of your Lord a
crazy person.” Allāh is talking to the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Rasūlullāh
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) shunned the praise of people and so Allāh said he is praised by Him.
“And you have a payment / reward that is everlasting.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) shunned the pleasures of this world, so Allāh told him he has the pleasures of the
ākhirah that never lose value waiting for him. “And you are on an exalted standard of
character.” The Messenger (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not try to display something that
was false. This was not just a show from the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Khuluq is on
the inside. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was not just displaying something to the
public. He was who he was (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The more you read about his personal
life, the more you love him.
You don’t really know how a person is on the inside. If you want to buy something on Amazon,
then you look at the reviews. A good indication of the beauty of a person is how he treats
other people. There is a direct correlation between the two. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) was told about a woman who fasted much, prayed much, and gave charity much but
abused her neighbors. The ṣaḥābah asked about her status, and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “La khayra fiha. There is no good inside of her. She is in Hellfire.” There was no
beauty inside of her.
Was Iblīs expelled from Jannah because of any shortage of good deeds? No. Iblīs worshipped
Allāh frequently. Ibn Qudāmah said the reason Allāh answered the du‘ā’ of Iblīs to grant him
respite until the Day of Judgment because of all of the years of worship he did before he made
that du‘ā’. He had much worship, prayer, and fasting but was still expelled from Paradise. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A person is about to walk amongst you from the
people of Paradise.” ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar saw the man and asked if he could stay with him for a
few days to observe him. He expected the man to be praying and fasting all day, but he was
average. ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar became frustrated and then asked the man what he does
differently. He said, “Before I sleep, I forgive everybody who has harmed me.” Compare that
man who had very little good deeds but a clean heart to Iblīs who had many good deeds but
was dirty on the inside and hence expelled from Jannah. This man was elevated to Paradise
and Iblīs was expelled.
Your character and khuluq indicate what level you are at.
Imām Ibn Qudāmah says, “Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, ‘I am creating this human being
from clay. I created him and breathed in him from My Spirit. Make prostration towards him.’”
An academic said this means that we all have Allāh inside of us, but this is not what it means.
This is Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) venerating and honoring the soul. Ibn Qudāmah said, “Allāh
did not command the angels to prostrate towards Ādam until the soul was there. This is the
same thing when we say the Ka‘bah is baytullāh. It is Allāh’s way of venerating the Ka‘bah.”
Allāh is venerating the soul. Truly beauty is on the inside. Inner beauty is true beauty. The
khalq (exterior) is worthless.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “I was only sent to perfect good character.” Imām
al-Ghazāli said what made the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) so perfect in character was
the fact that everybody wanted to be with him and everyone wanted to be loved by him.
Everyone wanted his love and desired his company. For example, one time ‘Amr b. al-‘Āṣ
thought he was the most beloved person to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and wanted
to show it off to the ṣaḥābah. He said to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “Ya Rasūlullāh,
who is the most beloved person to you?” He said, “‘Ā’ishah.” [Note: back then, it was
shameful to say the name of your wife in public] ‘Amr b. al-‘Āṣ said, “No, from among the
men?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Abuha (her father).” ‘Amr b. al-‘Āṣ said, “Then
who?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “‘Umar.” ‘Amr said, “I just stopped asking him
because I never thought he would get to my name.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) treated people so well and people vied for his love.
They loved his company, and he had a way of making everyone around him special. Fāṭimah
recognized that Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) loved ‘Ali so much, and ‘Ali recognized
that Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) loved Fāṭimah so much. When she walked into a
room, he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would get up and give her his seat. One time they asked
him which one of them he loved more. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to ‘Ali, “I
love Fāṭimah more than you.” Then he looked to Fāṭimah and said, “‘Ali has more clout with
me than you.” He raised both of them so they both felt good.
One time he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went to the marketplace and saw Zāhir, a companion
who had low self-esteem. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) grabbed him from the back
and started to scream from the marketplace, “Who will buy this slave? Who will buy this
slave?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was laughing. Zāhir said, “No one would want
to buy me anyway.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) put his hand on him and said, “In
the sight of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla), you are priceless.” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
elevated him.
- Why it matters so much
- What is the proper measure of it?

There are two measures of khuluq:
1. How you make the people around you feel.
2. The best measure of good character is how you handle people with bad character.
Every time Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) talks about good character, he talks
about forbearance. If you can tolerate bad character, then it is a sign of good character.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily, knowledge is through seeking it, and
forbearance is through learning it.” To get knowledge, you go and study. People think you
can’t teach yourself to be forbearing and tolerating people. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “Whoever seeks good will be given good (will achieve it), and whoever seeks to
avoid evil will be protected from it.” When you seek a good trait, Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla)
makes it attainable. When you try to avoid a bad flaw and something destructive, Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) protects you from it.
With good character, intention still counts. If you are pretending to have good character so
that people think a certain way of you, you will not be rewarded for it. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A person who tries to show something that is not truly of him is like the
one who is wearing two garments of falsehood.” For example, if you are getting in an
argument and say, “May Allāh forgive you, brother” because you want people to think you are
humble and your intention is that people will say good things about you, then it doesn’t count.
If you are trying to practice a good quality, then that is a different story. You cannot learn
forbearance when something major happens, but you have to practice it through minor things.
Practicing good character is rewardable. Once you achieve a pattern and reach a maqām
(station) of being forbearing, patient, or humble, then you are rewarded for every time you
practice that good character even without the intention because you had practiced it with the
intention of doing it for Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
 The Tongue
‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb came upon Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq pulling his tongue. ‘Umar said to him,
“Stop, may Allāh forgive you!” Abū Bakr replied,
‫إِ َّن َه َذا أ َْوَرَدِِن الْ َم َوا ِرَد‬
“This tongue has brought me to dangerous places.”
Abū Sa'id Al-Khudri (May Allāh be pleased with him) said: The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
ِ
َ ِ‫ضاءَ كلَّ َها ت َكفِّر اللِّ َسا َن فَ تَ قول ات َِّق اللَّهَ فينَا فَإِ ََّّنَا ََنْن ب‬
‫ك فَإِ ْن‬ َ ‫َع‬ ْ ‫آد َم فَإِ َّن ْاْل‬ ْ ‫إِذَا أ‬
َ ‫َصبَ َح ابْن‬
‫اع َو َج ْجنَا‬
ْ ‫ت‬َ ‫اع َو َج ْج‬ْ ‫استَ َق ْمنَا َوإِ ْن‬
ْ ‫ت‬ َ ‫استَ َق ْم‬
ْ
"When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all of the organs of his body submit to his
tongue and say: 'Fear Allāh with us for our condition is according to you. If you are good, we
will be good; and if you are bad, we will become bad."'[At- Tirmidhi].
Mu‘ādh asked the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “Will we even be punished for the
things that we say?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “Nothing causes a person to fall on his
face in Hellfire more than the harvest of the tongue.” For example: you pass a comment and
nobody thinks it is that bad. Your tongue is storing all of that and will come on the Day of
Judgment and testify against the person. We have to watch the tongue.
The first thing you need to understand is that Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has created gates for
your tongue for a reason. Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “Allāh has created two gates for the tongue:
your teeth and lips. Learn to use your gates properly.” Practice silence. Be quiet. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever believes in Allāh and the Last Day, let him say good
things or be quiet.”
The one absolute antidote to all of the flaws of the tongue is silence.
The first thing we need to understand is that Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has created gates for
our tongue for a reason. Ibn Qudama said, “Allāh has created two gates for the tongue: your
teeth and lips. Learn to use your gates properly.”
Practice silence. Be quiet. This is in essence what the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬has ordered us
when he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said:
ْ ‫ْي ِر ْجلَيْ ِه أ‬
َ‫َض َم ْن لَه ا ْْلَنَّة‬ ِ
َ ْ َ‫ض َم ْن ِِل َما ب‬
َ ْ َ‫ْي ََلْيَ يْه َوَما ب‬ ْ َ‫َم ْن ي‬
"Whoever can guarantee what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs,
I will guarantee Paradise for him."
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
‘Umar Ibn ‘Abd’l-‘Azīz said: ‘Whoever knows and realizes that his words are part of his deeds,
he will only speak that which concerns him.’
The tongue conveys what the heart wants, as it is an agent between it and the other organs. It
is the tongue, which is the primary reason for the darkness of the heart. The tongue can cause
a person to fall into many dangerous places. This is the reason why the majority of the works
on the purification of the soul begins with the tongue.
When the tongue is discussed, it does not refer to only the physical tongue. Any means of
conveying a message will fall under this discussion.
What would Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) say if he saw Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, e-
mails? All of this is your tongue. You have to deal with a lot of tongues. How many texts and
statuses do you let fly without even paying attention to them? Sometimes you will look at e-
mails years later and wonder how you could have written them. It is all saved and stored. If
you want to know how baffling Yawm’l-Qiyāmah will be, go and look at the e-mails you sent 10
years ago. All of that comes back out on the Day of Judgment. Learn to be quiet and not say
anything. Learn to not type and not update your Facebook status. Learn to be quiet. Silence.
It is golden.
‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb ‫ رضي‏هللا‏عنه‬said:
‫ ومن كثرت ذنوبه فالنار أوىل به‬، ‫ ومن كثر سقطه كثرت ذنوبه‬، ‫من كثر كالمه كثر سقطه‬
‘Whoever speaks a lot will make many mistakes and whoever makes mistakes will commit
many sins and whoever commits many sins will find that the Hell Fire is his dwelling place.’
Ibn ʿAbbās said, “There is no word the son of Ādam utters without being written, even the
humming that he makes out of pain.” When Imām Aḥmad was sick, he held himself from
moaning because he was told that it is the complaining of the tongue and considered it to be a
form of ingratitude to Allāh.
Every single time we open our mouth we are taking a chance. Are we going to say something
that is pleasing to Allāh or something that He will be displeased with? This is what the Prophet
‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬meant when he told Mu’adh ibn Jabal, ‘May your mother lose you.’ The Prophet
‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬used this phrase to shake Mu’adh into understanding the severity of the tongue.
Mu‘ādh asked the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, “Will we even be punished for the things that we
say?” He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬replied,
‫ وهل يكب الناس يف النار على وجوههم إال حصائد ألسنتهم‬، ‫ثكلتك أمك يا معاذ‬
‘May your mother lose you oh Mu’aadh. Nothing causes a person to fall on his face in Hellfire
more than the harvest of the tongue.” [At-Tirmidhi]
Abū Hurairah (May Allāh be pleased with him) reported, the Messenger of Allāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
was asked about the deed which will be foremost to lead a man to Jannah. He ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
replied,
‫تقوى اهلل وحسن اخللق‬
"Fear of Allāh and the good conduct."
Then he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was asked about indulgence which will admit a man to Hell (Fire) and
he answered,
‫الفم والفرج‬
"The tongue and the genitals." [At-Tirmidhi]
Ibn Masood said that if there was one thing that he could put in a prison it would be his
tongue.
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,

‫يها يَ ْه ِوي ِِبَا ِيف النَّا ِر أَبْعَ َد‬ ِ‫إِ َّن الْعب َد لَيت َكلَّم بِالْ َكلِم ِة ما ي تب َّْي ما ف‬
َ َ ََ َ َ َ ََ ْ َ
‫ب‬ِ ‫ْي الْم ْش ِرِق والْمغْ ِر‬
َ َ َ َ ْ َ‫َما ب‬
‘The servant speaks a word that he does not understand its repercussions but he sinks down in
Hell-Fire farther than the distance between the east and the west.’[Sahīh Muslim]

‫ و إن أبغضكم إِل‬، ‫إن أحبكم إِل و أقربكم مين يف اآلخرة جمالس أحاسنكم أخالقا‬
‫ الثرثارون املتفيهقون املتشدقون‬، ‫وأبعدكم مين يف اآلخرة أسوؤكم أخالقا‬
‘Verily the most beloved of you and the closest of you to me in the hereafter is the one with
the best manners, and, the most hated of you to me in the hereafter is ath-tharthaaroon al-
mutafayhiqoon al-mutashaddiqoon.
[Sahīh al-Jaami’]
Abu’l-Dardā’ said, “Allāh gave you two ears and only one tongue, so use them with their due
proportion.” The more you talk, the more you need to listen. If you are talking the most in a
gathering, then know something is wrong because every time you speak you are taking a risk
that some form of backbiting or gossip will come out. If you are watching your tongue, then
you will find that you are naturally more silent.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Those who stop idle talk…” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) would never speak before the other person finished. Think before you speak and
calculate every time you use your tongue.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “The intelligent person’s tongue is behind his heart. When he wants to
speak, he first thinks if these words will be in his favor or against him. The ignorant person’s
tongue is in front of his heart. When he thinks of saying something, he will say it and then
wonder afterwards if it was for or against him.”
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The most beloved of you and closest to me on the
Day of Judgment are those with the best character. The most hated people to me on the Day of
Judgment are those who have to say something about everything.” These types of people have
to talk about everything, regardless of if it is significant or insignificant. The technical
definition is someone who rhymes to impress people. For example, people who use big words
to impress people. “…and those who speak condescendingly.” This person keeps on talking.
Ath-Tharthaaroon – Someone who talks about any and everything. He always has an opinion
on everything.
Al-Mutashaddiqoon – Literally this means someone who rhymes excessively to impress people.
Today, they would be those people who use sophisticated language to try to impress another
person.
Al-Mutafayhiqoon – Someone who speaks condescendingly. There is a difference between

internal arrogance and speaking condescendingly. However, it is usually a very good sign of
arrogance.
Luqman the Wise was ordered by his master to bring the best part of the lamb for him. Luqman
returned with the tongue. His master asked him, the next day, to bring the worst part of lamb.
Again, Luqman returned with the tongue. The master then inquired how the same organ could
be both the best and worst at the same time. Luqman replied that if you use the tongue for
good things it is the best part of your body. If, on the other hand, it is used in the wrong way, it
can become your worst enemy. It is therefore, either the best part of your body or the worst
part.
Therefore think about your tongue. If it was to embody a person on the Day of Judgment,
would it be your best friend or your worst enemy?
Dealing with the problem of talking too much:

1. Make sure that you always listen more than you talk.
Abū’l-Dardā’ said, “Allāh gave you two ears and only one tongue, so use them with their
due proportion.”
The more you talk, the more you need to listen. If you are talking the most in a gathering,
then know something is wrong because every time you speak you are taking a risk that
some form of backbiting or gossip will come out. If you are watching your tongue, then
you will find that you are naturally more silent. Even if you are a speaker or someone who
gives da’wah or a teacher you still need to exercise this rule.
2. Never speak before the other person has finished speaking.
This allows you to really think and reflect on what you want to say before you say it. The
Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬never cut anyone off when they were speaking, even the Kuffar. He
would let the individual continue to talk and then confirm that he had finished speaking
before responding.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “The believer’s tongue is behind his heart. Before he speaks he uses
his heart to determine whether or not he should say what he is about to say. The
hypocrite’s tongue is in front of his heart. He speaks and then considers whether what he
said was beneficial or not.” The believer weighs his words before he speaks.
3. Protect yourself from useless speech.
Allāh says in Surah al-Mu’minoon
‫قَ ْد أَفْ لَ َح الْم ْؤِمنو َن‬
ِ ‫الَّ ِذين هم ِيف ص َالِتِِم خ‬
‫اشعو َن‬ َ ْ َ ْ َ
‫ين ه ْم َع ِن اللَّ ْغ ِو م ْع ِرضو َن‬ ِ َّ‫وال‬
‫ذ‬
َ َ
Certainly will, the believers have succeeded:
They who are during their prayer humbly submissive
And they who turn away from idle speech
[Suratul Mu’minoon:1-3]
The word Laghw actually refers to neutral speech. It is not necessarily evil. Talking about
politics and sports are forms of laghw. They are not always Ḥarām. Here Allāh did not
specify evil speech. Allāh used Laghw because if you forbid yourself from indulging in
laghw or idle speech, you will naturally avoid falling into evil speech.
Ibn Abbas and Ibn Masood both considered Laghw to be singing. This is because singing can
also be wasteful. Imām al-Bukhāri said that no one can have the love for Quran and singing
at the same time.
4. Beware of your many tongues
Today we have many different forms through of communication. We have text messaging,
emails, Facebook statuses, twitter updates, etc. How many times do we post a comment or
update our status or send a text or email without perceiving its implications? Now, our
hands have become tongues. We are talking excessively.
We should try to exercise silence even on our Facebook. We shouldn’t post, just about
anything and everything. Allāh has informed us, that our hands and other limbs will testify
against us on the Day of Judgment. Reflect for a moment on how much more we have
today, with all the technology around us, to bear witness against us.
Even our gestures have words. ‘Aisha once made a gesture to indicate that Umm al-
Mu’mineen Safiyyah was short. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said:
‫ت ِِبَ ِاء الْبَ ْح ِر لَ َم َز َجتْه‬ ِ ِ
ْ ‫لَ َق ْد ق لْت َكل َمةً لَ ْو م ِز َج‬
‘You have said a word that if you were to spit it in the ocean it would pollute the entire
ocean.’
[Abū Dawud]
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said this, even though ‘Aisha only made a gesture with her
hands.
5. It is not necessary to have an opinion on everything. This is something else that we learn
from the Prophet.
6. Leaving argumentation
Allāh has prohibited us from too much argumentation. However there are two types of
Jidaal or argumentation.
a. Al-Jadal al-Mahmood – Praiseworthy Arguing. This is debating with wisdom and

beautiful preaching, with the intention of bringing the people to good. This is the
example of Nuh’s preaching to his people when they told him:
‫ْي‬ِ ِ َّ ‫قَالوا يا نوح قَ ْد جادلْت نا فَأَ ْكث رت ِج َدالَنا فَأْتِنا ِِب ا تَعِدنَا إِن كنت ِمن‬
َ ‫الصادق‬ َ َ َ َ َ َ َْ ََ َ َ َ
They said, "O Noah, you have disputed us and been frequent in dispute of us. So
bring us what you threaten us, if you should be of the truthful."
[Surat Nuh:32]
b. Al-Jadal al-Madhmoom – Blameworthy Arguing.
Backbiting / al-Ghībah
What backbiting looks like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzSB1uKOtCg
As disgusting as those images were, this is what many of us do on a daily basis.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says it starts from suspicion and with a person who does not know
how to mind his own business. It causes you to start spying and figure out whether or not it is
true. You want to know details.
O you, who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.
And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother
when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allāh; indeed, Allāh is Accepting of repentance and
Merciful. (al-Ḥujurāt: 12)
When discussing the character flaws it was mentioned that we should consider the sin worse
than the expression. Reflect on the following incident narrated to us by Ubaid, the freed slave
of the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬:
‫ص َامتَا َوإِنَّه َما قَ ْد‬ ِ ْ َ‫ول اللَّ ِه إِ َّن َهاهنَا ْامرأَت‬ َ َ‫ص َامتَا َوأَ َّن َرج ًال ق‬ ِ ْ َ‫َن ْامرأَت‬
َ ‫ْي قَ ْد‬ َ َ ‫ال يَا َرس‬ َ ‫ْي‬ َ َّ ‫أ‬
ِ ‫ال بِا ْْل‬
َ َ‫اج َرةِ ق‬ ِ َ‫ادتَا أَ ْن ََتوتَا ِم ْن الْعَط‬
َّ َِ‫ال يَا ن‬
‫ب‬ َ َ َ‫اد َوأ َراه ق‬ َ َ‫ت ُثَّ ع‬
َ ‫ض عَنْه أ َْو َس َك‬ َ ‫َع َر‬
ْ ‫ش فَأ‬ َ ‫َك‬
‫ال فَ ِجيءَ بِ َق َد ٍح أ َْو‬ َ َ‫ال فَ َجاءَتَا ق‬ َ َ‫ال ْادعه َما ق‬ ِ ِ
َ ‫اللَّه إِنَّه َما َواللَّه قَ ْد َماتَتَا أ َْو َك‬
َ َ‫ادتَا أَ ْن ََت وتَا ق‬
‫ف الْ َق َد ِح‬ ِ ‫يدا و ََل ما ح ََّّت قَاء‬ ِ ‫ال ِِِلح َداُها قِيئِي فَ َقاءت قَيحا أَو دما و‬
َ ‫ص‬ ْ ‫تن‬ ْ َ َ ً ْ َ ً ‫صد‬ َ َ ًَ ْ ً ْ ْ َ َ ْ َ ‫س فَ َق‬ ٍّ ‫ع‬
ِ ٍ ٍ ِ ‫ال لِ ْْلخرى قِيئِي فَ َقاءت ِمن قَ ي ٍح ودٍم و‬

ْ ‫صديد َو ََلْ ٍم عَبِيط َو َغ ِْْيه َح ََّّت َم َْل‬
‫َت الْ َق َد َح‬ َ َ ََ ْ ْ ْ َ َ ْ َ َ‫ُثَّ ق‬
ْ ‫َح َّل اللَّه َوأَفْطََرتَا َعلَى َما َح َّرَم اللَّه عَ َّز َو َج َّل َعلَْي ِه َما َجلَ َس‬
‫ت‬ َ ‫ص َامتَا َع َّما أ‬ ِ ْ َ‫ال إِ َّن َهات‬
َ ‫ْي‬ َ َ‫ُثَّ ق‬
ِ
ِ ‫وم الن‬
‫َّاس‬ َ ‫إِ ْح َداُهَا إِ َىل ْاْل ْخ َرى فَ َجعَلَتَا يَأْك َالن َل‬
Someone came to the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬and showed the Prophet two women who were
fasting and said that they were dying of thirst. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬turned away silently
refusing to give permission for them to break their fast. So, the man begged him again,
mentioning that the women were on the verge of death. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬then said,
bring them to me and bring along a bowl. When they turned to him, he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬turned to
one and told her to vomit in the bowl. She complied, spitting up a mixture of vomit, blood, pus
and pieces of flesh which half-filled the bowl. He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬then turned to the other and
had her do the same. After the bowl was filled, he said, “Verily these two have fasted from
what Allāh has made Ḥalāl for them and broken their fast from what Allāh has made Ḥarām.
They spent their fast eating the flesh of others.”
[Musnad Ahmad]
We have to consider the expression to be worse than the actual crime. You are trying to
emphasize the gravity of the crime. However, when it comes to backbiting, it is worse. Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Would any one of you like to eat the dead flesh of his brother?”
The linguistic meaning of ghībah is ghayb, which means absent.
‫كان عمرو بن العاص يسْي مع نفر من أصحابه فمر على بغل ميت قد انتفخ‬
‫فقال واهلل ْلن يأكل أحدكم من هذا حَّت ميْل بطنه خْي من أن يأكل َلم مسلم‬
Amr ibn al-‘Aas was walking with some of his companions when they passed by a rotting
carcass of a dead mule. He then said to his companions, ‘By Allāh, it would be better for a man
to eat his fill from the meat of this than from the flesh of his fellow Muslims.’
[Sahīh at-Targheeb wat-Tarheeb]
From all these descriptions we can see how disgusting this sin is. Many times we do not fully
appreciate the severity of this sin because we see everyone else indulging in it and we tell
ourselves that it cannot be that bad if everyone else is doing it. Imagine our situation on the
Day of Judgment and remember that the sin of backbiting is more severe than the expressions
mentioned above to describe it. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬informed us of the punishment for
the ones who backbite in the following hadith:
‫وره ْم فَقلْت َم ْن‬

َ ‫وهه ْم َوصد‬ َ ‫اس ََيْمشو َن وج‬ٍ َ‫ِج ِِب َم َرْرت بِ َق ْوٍم َْل ْم أَظْ َف ٌار ِم ْن َن‬ َ ‫لَ َّما عر‬
ِ ‫َعر‬
‫اض ِه ْم‬ ِ َّ‫ال هؤَال ِء ال‬ ِْ ‫َهؤَال ِء يَا ِج‬
َْ ‫َّاس َويَ َقعو َن ِيف أ‬
ِ ‫وم الن‬
َ ‫ين يَأْكلو َن َل‬
َ ‫ذ‬ َ َ َ‫ق‬ ‫يل‬ ‫ْب‬
‘When my Lord took me up to heaven (for Mi’raaj), I passed by people who had brass nails with
which they were slashing their faces and chests. I said ‘Who are these, O Jebril?’ He replied,
‘These are the ones who eat the flesh of people (backbite them) and assail their honor.’’
[Abū Dawud]
What is the relationship between backbiting and scratching our own face over and over again?
By doing ghībah in this world we are essentially harming or shaming the face of a person in
society. A just recompense for that will be we will be forced to rip and tear our own physical
face.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked the companions, “Do you know what backbiting
is?” They said, “Allāh and His Messenger know best.” “Backbiting implies talking about your
brother in a manner he does not like. If what you said about him is true, then it is ghībah, and
if what you said is not true, then it is namīmah (slander).” Ghībah is when you backbite and say
something true about a person that they would not like to be said.
Why did Allāh give us this example of eating the dead meat of your brother? The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saw two people fighting and showed them a dead donkey and said,
“Eat it because it would be better than what you are doing now.” Why the word “maytah”
(dead)? Those being talked about are not there to defend themselves. Imām al-Qushayri said,
“When you eat dead meat, you are not hurting that person. You are only hurting yourself.”
You are only disgusting yourself. He is dead and not going to feel it. In essence, ghībah is going
to hurt you. It is worse than physically hurting someone. Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said,
“Backbiting is worse than physically hurting someone or taking someone’s wealth because he
uses the physical body and wealth to establish his reputation.” You are hurting his reputation
and taking it away.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Wa la talmizu anfusakum…” (to do it with a sign/signal).
Ghībah is not just by speaking but also by a gesture. If you make a face that indicates
something about a person that they won’t like, then it is not going to do you any good and will
be just as bad as if you had said it. It depends on how much the person hates it and how much
it hurts the person’s reputation.
‘Ā’ishah was describing Safiyyah and made a sign with her hand indicating her height, and
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to her, “You have said a word that if you were to spit
into the sea, it would pollute the entire sea.”
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Don’t kill yourselves…” Al-Qatādah says this means don’t kill
other people because in reality you are destroying yourself. When you backbite someone else,
then in reality you are destroying yourself because on the Day of Judgment, this will be a
source of humiliation for you.
In Abu Dāwūd: Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said that on the night of isrā’ wa’l-mi‘rāj he
passed by some people who had copper nails and were peeling off the skin from their faces.
Their faces would be restored and they would continue peeling it. He asked Jibrīl who they
were, and he said they were the people who eat the flesh of human beings and disgrace them.
The greatest form of riba is to take away the honor of your brother.
Excuses people use for ghībah are “everyone knows” it or “I would say it to his face.” This
doesn’t mean it is permissible. If you are willing to say it to him, then you have two sins
because you are willing to mock him in person and behind his back. It also means that you are
just plain rude and you have no adab. This would also mean that we are belittling our brother
and the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬forbade us from doing so. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said:
...‫َخاه الْم ْسلِ َم‬ ِ ِ ِ ‫ ِِبَس‬...
َ ‫ب ْام ِر ٍئ م ْن الش َِّّر أَ ْن ََيْق َر أ‬ ْ
“…It is enough of evil for a person that they belittle their brother Muslim…”
[Sahīh Muslim]
There are many reasons for backbiting but, in reality, most of us do it because it feels good and
it is juicy. It will also make you popular since everyone loves to talk about other people. When
we do not mind our own business we will, of course, fall into backbiting. We have become
obsessed with the lives of others. Instead of bettering ourselves we chose to spend hours in
front of the television watching people who have no lives whatsoever dwelling in their own
insanity. If we are watching any form of reality TV, we need to do something better with our
lives. We enjoy this because it gives us something to talk to others about. The Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏‬
‫ عليه‏وسلم‬said:
َ ‫س ِر‬
‫ضا‬ ِ ِ ‫ضا اللَّ ِه بِ َس َخ ِط الن‬
َ ‫َّاس َر ِض َي اللَّه َعنْه َوأ َْر‬ َ ‫س ِر‬ ِ
َ ‫ َوَمن الْتَ َم‬، ‫َّاس‬
َ ‫ضى عَنْه الن‬ َ ‫َمن الْتَ َم‬
ِ ‫ط علَي‬ ِ ‫ط اللَّه علَي‬ ِ ‫َّاس بِسخ ِط اللَّ ِه س‬
‫َّاس‬
َ ‫ن‬ ‫ال‬ ‫ه‬ ْ َ َ ‫خ‬
َ ‫َس‬
ْ ‫أ‬‫و‬َ ‫ه‬ ْ َ َ ‫خ‬ َ َ َ ِ ‫الن‬
Whoever pleases Allāh by making the people angry with him, Allāh will be pleased with him
and eventually He will allow the people to appreciate that him. Whoever pleases people by
displeasing Allāh, Allāh will be angry with him and He will turn the people against him.
[Sahīh At-Tirmidhi by Al-Albani]
Eventually, we will be backbiting the wrong person and then people will start to hate us. On
the other hand, if us refuse to indulge in this sin, Allāh will cause this to win the hearts of the
people.
Linguistically the word ghībah comes from the word ghayb, which means absent or unseen.
Ghībah therefore occurs when the person is absent or not present to defend himself. This is
why Allāh describes this sin as eating the flesh of our dead brother. Since he is dead, he cannot
defend himself. In the same way, when we are doing ghībah of someone, he cannot possibly
defend himself, as he is not immediately aware of our transgression.
The scholars have mentioned another reason for Allāh using the word maytah (dead). Imām al-
Qushayri said, “When you eat dead meat, you are not hurting that person. You are only
hurting yourself.” You are only disgusting yourself. He is dead and is not going to feel
anything. In essence, ghībah is only going to hurt the one uttering it.
The other side of the coin is that the person we are backbiting is actually being elevated in the
sight of Allāh and is actually benefiting from what we are saying against them.
‫جاء ماعز بن مالك اْلسلمي فرمجه النب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم عند الرابعة فمر به رسول اهلل‬
‫صلى اهلل عليه وسلم ومعه نفر من أصحابه فقال رجالن منهم إن هذا اخلائن أتى النب‬
‫صلى اهلل عليه وسلم مرارا كل ذلك يرد ه ُث قتل كما يقتل الكلب فسكت عنهم النب صلى‬
‫اهلل عليه وسلم حَّت مر جبيفة محار شائل رجله فقال كال من هذا قاال من جيفة محار يا‬
‫ فالذي نلتما من عرض أخيكما‬: ‫رسول اهلل قال‬
‫آنفا أكثر و الذي نفس حممد بيده إنه يف هنر من أهنار اْلنة يتغمس‬
Maìz bin Malik Aslami went to the Prophet of Allāh, ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, to be stoned at Rabi’ah.
Later, the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬passed by the man’s grave with a group of his Companions.
One of them said (to another), ‘Truly, that fool went to the Prophet time after time, and every
time the Prophet rejected him. Finally, he was killed like a dog.’ The Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
heard but remained silent until, sometime later, they passed by the carcass of a dead donkey
with its legs splayed in the air. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬asked, ‘Why do the two of you not
eat that donkey?’ The men said, ‘What, Oh Prophet of Allāh! Eat a dead donkey?’ The Prophet
‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬replied, ‘Well, the portion you had from your brother’s honor a little while ago
was even more abominable. By the One who holds my life in His hands, he is lounging in one of
the Rivers of Paradise.
[An-Nasa’i and Adab al-Mufrad]
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Backbiting is worse than physically hurting someone or taking
someone’s wealth because he uses the physical body and wealth to establish his reputation.”
You are hurting his reputation and taking it away.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says,

‫َوَال تَ ْقت لوا أَنف َسك ْم‬
“Don’t kill yourselves…”
[Suratun-Nisā:29]
Abū-Qatādah says this means don’t kill other people because in reality you are destroying
yourself. When you backbite someone else, then in reality you are destroying yourself because
on the Day of Judgment, this will be a source of humiliation for you.
Ibn Qudāmah says that gesturing is just as bad as backbiting and sometimes it can be worse
and more harmful that what you say.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “Wa la talmizu anfusakum…” (To do it with a sign/signal).
Ghībah is not just by speaking but also by a gesture. If you make a face that indicates
something about a person that they won’t like, then it is not going to do you any good and will
be just as bad as if you had said it. It depends on how much the person hates it and how much
it hurts the person’s reputation.
 Four causes of ghībah
1. Anger
Your ghībah is not justified just because you are upset with somebody. It doesn’t justify
you to speak ill of someone.
2. Compliance
This is when you are in a gathering and people are speaking about others. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Let not one of you belittle himself.” The ṣaḥābah said,
“How can it be that one of us belittles himself?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“Someone sees the boundaries of Allāh being crossed and doesn’t say anything about it.
Allāh raises him on the Day of Judgment and asks him why he doesn’t say anything, and
he will say, ‘I was afraid of the people.’ Allāh will say, ‘Allāh is more deserving of you
fearing Him.’” (Ibn Mājah)
There are several categories:

- You are a silent devil. Sometimes we sit in gatherings where backbiting is taking
place, and we tell ourselves that we are not the ones backbiting and that we hate it
in our hearts. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
‫َم ْن َرأَى ِم ْنك ْم منْ َك ًرا فَ لْي غَيِّ ْره بِيَ ِدهِ فَإِ ْن ََلْ يَ ْستَ ِط ْع فَبِلِ َسانِِه فَإِ ْن ََلْ يَ ْستَ ِط ْع‬
ِ
ِ َ‫اِل مي‬
‫ان‬ ِْ ‫َض َعف‬ ْ ‫كأ‬ َ ‫فَبِ َقلْبِ ِه َوذَل‬
“Whosever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able
to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then
with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.”
[Sahīh Muslim]
What does this mean in terms of backbiting? The first thing that you need to do
when someone around you is backbiting is to change it with your hands. If this is a
person whom you have that type of relationship or authority, where you can go up
to him/her and grab his/her by the shirt and say ‘Stop!’ then you must do it. Such a
person can be you little brother or sister.
If you can speak out against this backbiting then you have to stop this by speaking
up and letting the perpetrator know that this type of behavior is Ḥarām. In the
majority of cases these individuals will become upset and remind you of when you
used to backbite or of some other Ḥarām act that you once did. This will be difficult
to handle at first but remember the hadith mentioned above in regards to pleasing
Allāh by displeasing the people. They will be angry with you at first, and say things
that hurt but eventually they will come around. Know that you cannot claim that
you are unable to speak up unless those individuals are able to really harm you if
you do. This is the real meaning of the hadith. Not speaking up because you will
feel embarrassed is not a valid excuse. It is your responsibility to speak up in the
defense of your brother or sister. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
ِ ِ َ ‫َال ََي ِقر أَحدكم نَ ْفسه قَالوا يا رس‬

‫ال يَ َرى أ َْم ًرا‬
َ َ‫َحدنَا نَ ْف َسه ق‬ َ ‫ف ََيْقر أ‬ َ ‫ول اللَّه َك ْي‬ َ َ َ ْ َ ْْ
ِ ِ ٌ ‫لِلَّ ِه عَلَيْ ِه فِ ِيه َم َق‬
‫ك‬َ َ‫ال ُثَّ َال يَقول ف ِيه فَ يَ قول اللَّه عَ َّز َو َج َّل لَه يَ ْو َم الْقيَ َام ِة َما َمنَ ع‬
‫َح َّق أَ ْن ََتْ َشى‬ ِ ِ ‫ول ِيف َك َذا َوَك َذا فَ يَ قول َخ ْشيَة الن‬ َ ‫أَ ْن تَق‬
َ‫تأ‬ َ ْ‫اي كن‬ َ َّ‫َّاس فَ يَ قول فَإي‬
“Let not one of you belittle himself.” The ṣaḥābah said, “How can it be that one of
us belittles himself?” He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, “Someone sees the boundaries of Allāh
being crossed and doesn’t say anything about it. Allāh raises him on the Day of
Judgment and asks him why he doesn’t say anything, and he will say, ‘I was afraid
of the people.’ Allāh will say, ‘Allāh is more deserving of you fearing Him.’”
[Ibn Mājah]
By sitting and not saying anything, you are just as guilty. You have become a silent
Shayṭān. You are giving your implicit approval by remaining in this gathering
without saying anything. By the way, we usually do have the power to change the
situation and we can say, “I don’t think we should do this. I think we should fear
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).” The thirds scenario is that we do not speak up to
condemn the backbiting because of a real (not perceived) harm that you would face
and so you hate it with your heart. This does that mean that you continue to sit in
this gathering while telling yourself that you hate this sin. It means that you
actually get up and leave. Don’t continue to sit there while they are backbiting. You
will be just as guilty if you continue to sit in this environment. You can change
your environment and show people you are uncomfortable.
- You instigate the backbiting. Ibn al-Qayyim said you will be punished two times on
the Day of Judgment for this: for instigating it and causing others to fall into the
sin. What about the ḥadīth of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that “whoever
amongst you sees something evil, then let him change it with his hand, and if he
isn’t able to, then with his tongue, and if he isn’t able to, then with his heart”?
What does this mean in terms of backbiting? It means to get up and leave. Don’t
continue to sit there while they are backbiting. By the way, we usually do have the
power to change the situation and you can say, “I don’t think we should do this. I
think we should fear Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).” You can change your
environment and show people you are uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable
because you are uncomfortable, then you don’t need them. Ibn Qudāmah says that
if you instigate ghībah but you, yourself, do not do it, you will be punished twice. If
you are sitting in a gathering and you throw out someone else’s name, or you wink
or make an indication, or gesture in a way that would bring someone else’s name
into the conversation, while knowing that there is someone there who would be
ready to pounce on the opportunity to backbite, you would be punished twice. You
started the backbiting and you also caused someone else to fall into the sin of
backbiting. He said that in this scenario you are like the Shayṭān - inviting people
towards Ḥarām
3. Arrogance
When you think you are better than them and are mocking. The Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
said,
...‫الْم ْسلِم أَخو الْم ْسلِ ِم َال يَظْلِمه َوَال ََيْذله َوَال ََيْ ِقره‬...
‘…A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor betrays him nor
looks down upon him…’
[Sahīh Muslim]
This hadith contains two forms of actual backbiting and another form where the
person allows his brother to be a victim of backbiting without preventing this.
Oppression and belittling are actually forms of backbiting and betrayal is where you
allow others to backbite your brothers or sisters and you do not say anything about it.
Listening to backbiting is therefore, just as bad as backbiting itself.
4. Joking
This counts against you just as severely as any form of backbiting.
You cannot make these excuses for yourself. Ibn Qudāmah said, “The Muslim is the brother of
the Muslim. He does not wrong him, and he does not forfeit him. He does not betray him, and
he does not belittle him.” You have betrayed the rights of your brother if you allow people to
speak about his/her honor and don’t do anything about it. Imagine eating that person’s meat
after they are dead. Imagine on the Day of Judgment having to scratch off your own face.
Backbiting is one of the most normal things in the world now. It is so accepted, but on the Day
of Judgment, it is a cause of humiliation.
Note: be especially careful of not backbiting a righteous person. This is another level. The
scholars said, “The flesh of the righteous is poison.” It is worse because Allāh (subḥānahu wa
ta‘āla) says in a ḥadīth qudsi: “Whoever takes a close friend of Mine as an enemy, then I have
waged war against him.” It is worse if you speak ill of a righteous person. You don’t know if a
person is righteous or not. You may be escalating to another level without realizing it.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri (and Sufyān al-Thawri) was told that there was a group of people who always
backbite him. He sent a bowl of dates (Sufyān al-Thawri sent a bowl of fruit) and wrote, “I
wanted to thank you for giving me your good deeds, so I am sending this bowl to you. Please
forgive me for it not being enough to thank you for what you did to me.”
Someone went up to Bakr b. Muḥammad and said, “I heard you were backbiting me.” He said,
“I must really love you because I am giving you my good deeds.” Don’t start backbiting the
person because they were backbiting you.
Another important point: What do you do if you are guilty of backbiting? Ibn Sirīn said, “I will
never make lawful what Allāh has made unlawful.”
- Seek forgiveness from Allāh
- Seek forgiveness from the one you hurt.
The problem: if you tell the person, it will make things worse. Say good things about
the person you backbite in the company of the same people you said bad things about
them. If he is a person you can go to and say you were backbiting, then do so. If it will
be counterproductive, then you need to restore the person’s reputation.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “Do you know what is backbiting?” They (the companions) said, “Allāh and His
Messenger know best.” Thereupon he (the Prophet) said: “Backbiting implies your talking
about your brother in a manner which he does not like.” It was said to him: “What if what I say
about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you said about him is true then you would have
backbitten him, and if it is not true, then he is slandered (buhtān).” (Muslim, Abu Dāwūd,
Aḥmad, & al-Tirmidhi)
Note to the Ones who have been Backbitten:
Abdur Rahman ibn Mahdi said, ‘I dislike people to disobey Allāh, otherwise I would wish that
everyone in this world would backbite me. There is no equal joy to find on your scale on the
Day of Judgment a deed you did not even know about or even had.’
On the Day of Judgment you will find deeds that you did not know you had. These are the
deeds of those who had backbitten you in this world. This is a very powerful statement. It is a
different level when you start to become happy when you hear that someone has backbitten
you, because you know that your level in Jannah will be increased because of what that person
said about you.
Someone once came to Baakir ibn Muhammad and said, ‘I was told that you were backbiting
me behind my back.’ He said, ‘If I did this then you are more beloved to me than my own self
(because I am now giving you my own good deeds).’ We need to start understanding that these
words are the currency of good deeds. We cannot afford to give away our good deeds.
What are some of the things that we can do if we are being backbitten:
Abdullah the son of Imām Ahmad said that once a man came to his father and said, ‘Oh Abū
Abdillah, I have backbitten you, so please forgive me.’ Imām Ahmad said to the man, ‘You are
forgiven if you do not do it again.’ As a Daa’ee, Imām Ahmad wanted to not only forgive the
man but to remind him that he should never commit this sin again. If anyone approaches us
like this man approached Imām Ahmad we should give the same response.
Some people came to Imām Ibn Sireen, and confessed that they had backbitten against him
and asked for his forgiveness. He replied, ‘As for me, I have forgiven you, but, I cannot make
lawful what Allāh has made unlawful. We should therefore remind those who backbite that
they are infringing on the rights of the people and also the rights of Allāh. Forgiveness
therefore needs to be sought from both the people and from Allāh.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri and Sufyān al-Thawri were peers and they had a way of dealing with those
who had backbitten them. If they ever heard of anyone backbiting them, they would send a
basket of fruits to those people and write, “I heard that you were giving me your good deeds
and this was the only thing I can find to repay you with, so please accept it.” If we ever fall into
this situation we can do the same by going to http://www.ftd.com/ and sending some flowers or
chocolates and a note saying, ‘Jazakumullahu Khair for your good deeds.’
Holding back the desire to Backbite:

‫ت بِ ِه أَنْ ف َس َها َما ََلْ يَتَ َكلَّموا أ َْو يَ ْع َملوا بِ ِه‬ ِ
ْ َ‫إِ َّن اللَّهَ ََتَ َاوَز ْل َّم ِِت َما َح َّدث‬
‘Allāh has forgiven my Ummah that which it speaks to itself with but it does not say or act
upon.’
[Sahīh Muslim]
Therefore, if you feel the desire to backbite then seek refuge in Allāh. Say "A'udhu Billahi
minash Shayṭānir Rajīm," and do not allow it to go any further than that.
NOTE: Be especially careful of backbiting a righteous person. This is a whole different level.
The scholars said, “The flesh of the righteous is poison.” It is worse because Allāh (subḥānahu
wa ta‘āla) says in a ḥadīth qudsi:
ِ ‫ادى ِِل ولِيًّا فَ َق ْد آذَنْ ته بِا َْلر‬
...‫ب‬ َ َ‫َم ْن ع‬
َْ َ
“Whoever takes a close friend of Mine as an enemy, then I have waged war against him...”
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
The fact is that you don’t know if a person is righteous or not. You may be escalating to
another level without realizing it. Because of a few words, Allāh might wage war against you.
 When “backbiting is permissible”
1. Complaining about oppression or injustice to someone who can help

If you need to complain to the imām or a friend who can help, then it is fine to backbite.
What about talking about a ruler? The rulers are doing their actions in public and are
open transgressors. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Do not forbid people
for speaking ill of the fājir (person who disobeys Allāh).”
2. Seeking the help of someone to correct something wrong

You mention what is necessary and don’t go into the details and then help the person.
3. Asking for a fatwa

This is a very limited circumstance, but sometimes it is necessary.
4. Warning a person at risk of harm

If you know someone who is about to get married to someone and something about
that person (not about their past but things they are presently guilty of), then you have
to say it. You can warn someone who is going into a business contract with someone
else.
5. When someone has a title that has a bad meaning but the person is known by it
Al-A‘mash means “the one who is blind.” This was a name he called himself. This is
very rare. Make sure if a person has a nickname with a bad meaning that he is seriously
okay with it being used.
6. Speaking about a proud sinner

This refers to someone who loves to disobey Allāh and is proud of it. Irshad Manji is
doing a book tour in Malaysia, and no one warned the people about her, and now the
authorities are trying to stop her. You need to speak about people like this and the evil
that they do as a way of protecting society against them and the things they say.
CAUTION: These are all exceptions to the prohibition of backbiting, however, if your desire to
commit ghībah is really strong, you will find a way to make it fall under one of
these exceptions. But, know that you are not fooling anyone, but your own self.
And you are certainly not fooling Allāh. By doing this you might actually be falling
into the sin of making mockery of Allāh so you will earn two sins instead of just
one.
Think about it like this: If you have the opportunity to do something that might
cause you to be expelled from your University, but you can twist it to fall into an
exception, you are never going to go through with this until you have asked
someone who understands the situation. You will find out before acting upon this
because of the seriousness of this matter. There is nothing more serious or
important than your aakhira. You can be sacrificing your hereafter. Therefore,
make sure that you know what you are doing before applying any of these
exceptions. Before you assume that you have been given an exception, ask a
person of knowledge.
If you keep dancing around the exceptions, you are bound to fall into the ḥarām.
Restrict it to only what is absolutely necessary. If someone is sinning, try to stop
him by talking to him privately and not exposing him publicly. Exhaust all means
possible to not harm the person’s face in society.
PRACTICAL TIP: Before you assume that you have been given an exception, ask a person of
knowledge.
Repenting from Backbiting:

There are three steps to repenting from this sin:
1. If the person you have backbitten, is someone you feel that would forgive you if you
confess then you should do so. If you believe that by confessing, you will only make
things worse then you should not disclose your sin to this person.
2. Seek forgiveness from Allāh.
Sincerely beg Allāh for forgiveness for what you have done. You should also seek
forgiveness for the one you hurt.
Speak well of that person in the presence of the same people you spoke ill of them in. Since
you harmed this person’s face in society you need to make an extra effort go back
to those same people who heard you the first time and let them know that what
you said is not true and then to speak good of that person, to restore that person’s
status.
Slander / al-Namīmah (Tale-Carrying)
ٌ َّ‫َال يَ ْدخل ا ْْلَنَّةَ ََّن‬

‫ام‬
“A person who carries tales will not enter Jannah.”

[Sahīh Muslim]
There are two categories of namīmah: saying something about someone that is untrue or
coming to someone and saying “so and so said this about you” (starting enmity between
people). The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “He who starts enmity between people
by quoting their words to each other will not enter Paradise (even if they are true words).”
Islam allows you to lie to say good things about someone.
Whenever you spread news about people and stir up enmity, you are Shayṭān’s mailman.
‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib said,

‫النمام من ساعة فتنة اشهر‬
ّ ‫يعمل‬
“The person who spreads namīmah (the nammām) will cause in an hour the fitnah of months.”
Someone said to ‘Amr b. ‘Ubayd, “Al-Aswari says bad about you.” He replied, “You did not
fulfill the trust of the man when he let you sit with him since you told us what he would say,
and you didn’t fulfill my rights upon you when you told me something I disliked to hear.”
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said,

‫من نقل إليك حديثاً فأعلم أنه ينقل إىل غْيك حديثك‬
“Whoever says to you ‘someone said such and such about you,’ then know that he goes to
another person and says that you said such and such about him.”
It is also to say something that is not true. Imām Mālik earned a title: “No one should give
fatwa while Imām Mālik is alive in Madīnah.” Why was he giving this title? Once a woman was
giving the ghusl of a dead woman, and she said, “Wallāhi, these private parts were dirty and
involved with many men.” Her hand became stuck to the body. People were going around
asking imams what to do. Imām Mālik said, “Lash her with the punishment of slandering a
chaste woman.” When she was lashed, her hand came loose from the body. Then the people
started to say, “No one should give fatwa while Imām Mālik is alive in Madīnah.”
Namīmah can destroy societies, a person’s reputation and it is so disgusting that if it is done,
even by only a gesture or a hint, it can have a punishment associated with it in an Islamic state.
It is possible that the perpetrator can be lashed for it. Indicating something evil about another
person is also namīmah. If you indicate something, you are just as guilty as saying it, and if you
pass on something you heard, you are just as guilty as the one who formulated the rumor.
The greatest form of slander is the slander against ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha). "Whenever
Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬intended to go on a journey, he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬would draw lots
amongst his wives and would take with him the one upon whom the lot fell. During a Ghazwa
of his, he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬drew lots amongst us and the lot fell upon me, and I proceeded with
him after Allāh had decreed the use of the veil by women. I was carried in a Howdah (on the
camel) and dismounted while still in it. When Allāh's Apostle was through with his Ghazwa and
returned home, and we approached the city of Medina, Allāh's Apostle ordered us to proceed
at night. When the order of setting off was given, I walked till I was past the army to answer
the call of nature. After finishing I returned (to the camp) to depart (with the others) and
suddenly realized that my necklace over my chest was missing. So, I returned to look for it and
was delayed because of that. The people who used to carry me on the camel, came to my
Howdah and put it on the back of the camel, thinking that I was in it, as, at that time, women
were light in weight, and thin and lean, and did not use to eat much. So, those people did not
feel the difference in the heaviness of the Howdah while lifting it, and they put it over the
camel. At that time I was a young lady. They set the camel moving and proceeded on. I found
my necklace after the army had gone, and came to their camp to find nobody. So, I went to the
place where I used to stay, thinking that they would discover my absence and come back in my
search. While in that state, I felt sleepy and slept. Safwan bin Mu'attal As-Sulami Adh-
Dhakwani was behind the army and reached my abode in the morning. When he saw a sleeping
person, he came to me, and he used to see me before veiling. So, I got up when I heard him
saying, "Inna lil-lah-wa inn a ilaihi rajiun (We are for Allāh, and we will return to Him)." He
made his camel knell down. He got down from his camel, and put his leg on the front legs of
the camel and then I rode and sat over it. Safwan set out walking, leading the camel by the
rope till we reached the army who had halted to take rest at midday. Then whoever was meant
for destruction, fell into destruction, (some people accused me falsely) and the leader of the
false accusers was Àbdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. After that we returned to Medina, and I
became ill for one month while the people were spreading the forged statements of the false
accusers. I was feeling during my ailment as if I were not receiving the usual kindness from the
Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬which I used to receive from him when I got sick. But he would come,
greet and say, 'How is that (girl)?' I did not know anything of what was going on till I recovered
from my ailment and went out with Um Mistah to the Manasi where we used to answer the call
of nature, and we used not to go to answer the call of nature except from night to night and
that was before we had lavatories near to our houses. And this habit of ours was similar to the
habit of the old 'Arabs in the open country (or away from houses). So. I and Um Mistah bint
Ruhm went out walking. Um Mistah stumbled because of her long dress and on that she said,
'Let Mistah be ruined.' I said, 'You are saying a bad word. Why are you Abūsing a man who took
part in (the battle of) Badr?' She said, 'O Hanata (you there) didn't you hear what they said?'
Then she told me the rumors of the false accusers. My sickness was aggravated, and when I
returned home, Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬came to me, and after greeting he said, 'How is
that (girl)?' I requested him to allow me to go to my parents. I wanted then to be sure of the
news through them. Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬allowed me, and I went to my parents and
asked my mother, 'What are the people talking about?' She said, 'O my daughter! Don't worry
much about this matter. By Allāh, never is there a charming woman loved by her husband who
has other wives, but the women would forge false news about her.' I said, 'Glorified be Allāh!
Are the people really taking of this matter?' That night I kept on weeping and could not sleep
till morning. In the morning Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬called Àli bin Abū Talib and Usama
bin Zaid when he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬saw that the Divine Inspiration delayed, to consul them about
divorcing his wife (i.e. Àisha). Usama bin Zaid said what he knew of the good reputation of his
wives and added, 'O Allāh's Apostle! Keep your wife, for, by Allāh, we know nothing about her
but good.' Àli bin Abū Talib said, 'O Allāh's Apostle! Allāh has not imposed restrictions on you,
and there are many women other than she, yet you may ask the woman-servant who will tell
you the truth.' On that Allāh's Apostle called Buraira and said, 'O Buraira. Did you ever see
anything which roused your suspicions about her?' Buraira said, 'No, by Allāh Who has sent
you with the Truth, I have never seen in her anything faulty except that she is a girl of
immature age, who sometimes sleeps and leaves the dough for the goats to eat.' On that day
Allāh's Apostle ascended the pulpit and requested that somebody support him in punishing
Àbdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, 'Who will support me to
punish that person (Àbdullah bin Ubai bin Salul) who has hurt me by slandering the
reputation of my family? By Allāh, I know nothing about my family but good, and they have
accused a person about whom I know nothing except good, and he never entered my house
except in my company.' Sa`d bin Muàdh got up and said, 'O Allāh's Apostle! by Allāh, I will
relieve you from him. If that man is from the tribe of the Aus, then we will chop his head off,
and if he is from our brothers, the Khazraj, then order us, and we will fulfill your order.' On
that Sa`d bin 'Ubada, the chief of the Khazraj, and before this incident, had been a pious man,
got up, motivated by his zeal for his tribe and said, 'By Allāh, you have told a lie; you cannot
kill him, and you will never be able to kill him.' On that Usaid bin Al-Hadir got up and said (to
Sa`d bin 'Ubada), 'By Allāh! you are a liar. By Allāh, we will kill him; and you are a hypocrite,
defending the hypocrites.' On this the two tribes of Aus and Khazraj got excited and were
about to fight each other, while Allāh's Apostle was standing on the pulpit. He got down and
quieted them till they became silent and he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬kept quiet. On that day I kept on
weeping so much so that neither did my tears stop, nor could I sleep. In the morning, my
parents were with me and I had wept for two nights and a day, till I thought my liver would
burst from weeping. While they were sitting with me, and I was weeping, an Ansari woman
asked my permission to enter, and I allowed her to come in. She sat down and started weeping
with me. While we were in this state, Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬came and sat down and he
had never sat with me since the day they forged the accusation. No revelation regarding my
case came to him for a month. He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬recited Tashah-hud (i.e. None has the right to
be worshipped but Allāh and Muhammad is His Apostle) and then said, 'O Àisha! I have been
informed such-and-such about you; if you are innocent, then Allāh will soon reveal your
innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then repent to Allāh and ask Him to forgive you,
for when a person confesses his sin and asks Allāh for forgiveness, Allāh accepts his
repentance.' When Allāh's Apostle finished his speech my tears ceased completely and there
remained not even a single drop of it. I requested my father to reply to Allāh's Apostle ‫صلى‏هللا‏‬
‫ عليه‏وسلم‬on my behalf. My father said, By Allāh, I do not know what to say to Allāh's Apostle.' I
said to my mother, 'Talk to Allāh's Apostle on my behalf.' She said, 'By Allāh, I do not know
what to say to Allāh's Apostle. I was a young girl and did not have much knowledge of the
Qur'an. I said. 'I know, by Allāh, that you have listened to what people are saying and that has
been planted in your minds and you have taken it as a truth. Now, if I told you that I am
innocent and Allāh knows that I am innocent, you would not believe me and if I confessed to
you falsely that I am guilty, and Allāh knows that I am innocent you would believe me. By
Allāh, I don't compare my situation with you except to the situation of Joseph's father (i.e.
Jacob) who said, 'So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and it is
Allāh (Alone) whose help can be sought.' Then I turned to the other side of my bed hoping that
Allāh would prove my innocence. By Allāh I never thought that Allāh would reveal Divine
Inspiration in my case, as I considered myself too inferior to be talked of in the Holy Qur'an. I
had hoped that Allāh's Apostle might have a dream in which Allāh would prove my innocence.
By Allāh, Allāh's Apostle ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬had not got up and nobody had left the house before
the Divine Inspiration came to Allāh's Apostle ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. So, there overtook him the same
state which used to overtake him, (when he used to have, on being inspired divinely). He ‫صلى‏‬
‫ هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was sweating so much so that the drops of the sweat were dropping like pearls
though it was a (cold) wintry day. When that state of Allāh's Apostle was over, he ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬was smiling and the first word he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, Àisha! Thank Allāh, for Allāh has
declared your innocence.' My mother told me to go to Allāh's Apostle . I replied, 'By Allāh I will
not go to him and will not thank but Allāh.' So Allāh revealed: "Verily! They who spread the
slander are a gang among you . . ." (24.11) When Allāh gave the declaration of my Innocence,
Abū Bakr, who used to provide for Mistah bin Uthatha for he was his relative, said, 'By Allāh, I
will never provide Mistah with anything because of what he said about Aisha.' But Allāh later
revealed: -- "And let not those who are good and wealthy among you swear not to help their
kinsmen, those in need and those who left their homes in Allāh's Cause. Let them forgive and
overlook. Do you not wish that Allāh should forgive you? Verily! Allāh is Oft-forgiving, Most
Merciful." (24.22) After that Abū Bakr said, 'Yes ! By Allāh! I like that Allāh should forgive me,'
and resumed helping Mistah whom he used to help before. Allāh's Apostle also asked Zainab
bint Jahsh (i.e. the Prophet's wife about me saying, 'What do you know and what did you see?'
She replied, 'O Allāh's Apostle! I refrain to claim hearing or seeing what I have not heard or
seen. By Allāh, I know nothing except goodness about Aisha." Aisha further added "Zainab was
competing with me (in her beauty and the Prophet's love), yet Allāh protected her (from being
malicious), for she had piety."
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
When Safwan appeared, leading ‘Aisha on the camel, Abdullah ibn Ubai ibn Salul did not
directly accuse them of adultery. All he did was say, ‘By Allāh, he was not safe from her, nor,
was she safe from him.’ This was all he said. After that, people started talking. These few words
caused so much distress to the Prophet ‫ صلى ‏هللا ‏عليه ‏وسلم‬and his family. Allāh therefore,
condemned those who passed the slander and those who did not stop the slander when it came
to them. He revealed in Suratun-Noor the punishment for slandering a chaste woman: 80
lashes.
‫ْي َج ْل َدةً َوَال تَ ْقبَ لوا َْل ْم‬ِ ِ َ‫ات ُثَّ ََل يأْتوا بِأَرب ع ِة شه َداء ف‬ ِ َ‫والَّ ِذين ي رمو َن الْمحصن‬
َ ‫اجلدوه ْم ََثَان‬ْ َ َ َ َْ َْ َ ْ َْ َ َ
ِ ‫ك هم الْ َف‬
‫اسقو َن‬ َ ِ‫ادةً أَبَ ًدا ۚ َوأولََٰئ‬
َ ‫َش َه‬
And those who accuse chaste women and then do not produce four witnesses - lash them with
eighty lashes and do not accept from them testimony ever after. And those are the defiantly
disobedient,
[An-Noor:4]
Namīmah is indicating something. If you indicate something, you are just guilty as saying it
and if you pass on something you heard, you are just as guilty as the one who formulated the
rumor.
On one occasion the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬asked the companions,

‫ْي الَّ ِذي يَأِِْت‬
ِ ْ ‫ال أ ََّول ِشراركم ذو الْو ْج َه‬
َ ْ َ ْ ‫َه ْل تَ ْدرو َن َم ْن ِش َرارك ْم؟ قَالوا اللَّه َوَرسوله أ‬
َ َ‫َعلَم ق‬
‫َهؤَال ِء بِ َو ْج ٍه َو َهؤَال ِء بِ َو ْج ٍه‬

“Do you know who the worst of you is?” They said, “Allāh and His Messenger know best.” He
said, “The worst of you is the one who is two- faced. The one who comes to one group with one
face and another group with another face.”
This is someone who passes words between these two groups. The one who comes to one
group with one face and another group with another face.
O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information,
investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done,
regretful. (al-Ḥujurāt: 6)
Six things to do if someone comes to you saying: “He said this about you!”
1. Don’t believe him.
Don’t entertain what they said and think of it as a lie. You are not allowed to believe
this person.
2. Advise him to stop.
You have to inform and remind this person that he is not allowed to do this.
3. Show anger with him.
4. Don’t think ill of the accused.
Don’t let this person’s statement penetrate into you in any way whatsoever.
5. Don’t start spying to find out if what was said was true.
You are not allowed to go to the first person and find out if he really said such and such
about you and you are not allowed to ask others who was in his gathering either.
6. Don’t pass the slander.
In essence you pretend like you did not hear anything and you try to fight yourself on the
inside from believing anything that you heard. Say "A'udhu Billahi minash Shayṭānir Rajīm."
Do not treat that person any differently because of what someone said they said.
If you ever hear a slander about anyone, automatically assume that it is untrue. Give them the
benefit of the doubt.
If you are guilty of namīmah, repenting is the same as in the case of backbiting. You need to go
to this person and ask for their forgiveness, ask Allāh for forgiveness, and, try to restore this
person’s face in society.
This is truly one of the worse diseases we can have. We ask Allāh to protect us from both
ghībah and namīmah. Āmīn.
“A tale-carrier will never enter Paradise.” (al-Bukhāri & Muslim)

An-nammām is therefore a diseased individual. This is an extremely dangerous sin. It is crazy

how many Muslims are guilty of this. Many times we do this with our scholars and do not even
realize that it is a sin. We go to one scholar and say ‘Oh Shaykh, I heard Shaykh so and so say
such and such about you.’ This is the essence of namīmah. Many times we spread this type of
namīmah in order to gain status with someone. We want them to know that we defended them
so we tell them of what someone else said about them.

، ‫ املفسدون بْي اْلحبة‬، ‫ املشاؤون بالنميمة‬: ‫ قال‬، ‫ بلى‬: ‫أفال أخْبكم بشراركم ؟ قالوا‬
‫الباغون الْباء العنت‬
“Shall I tell you about the most evil ones from amongst you?” They said, “Of course.” He said,
“Those who go around with namīmah. They make enmity between friends and they seek
problems for the innocent.”
[Al-Adab al-Mufrad]
A man told Wahb b. Munabbih that such-and-such a man had insulted him. Wahb said to him,
“And you are the only postman that Shayṭān has found (to tell me about it)!”
It was said of Imām Mālik that ‘no one should give fatwa while Imām Mālik is alive in Madīnah.’
This position was held because of one specific incident. Once a woman was doing ghusl
another woman, and she said, “Wallāhi, these private parts were never clean and were touched
by many men.” Her hand became stuck to the body. People started to ask around to find out
what they should do, since she could not remove her hand from the body. Finally it reached
the ears of Imām Mālik. He ordered, “Lash her with the punishment of slandering a chaste
woman.” When she was lashed, her hand came loose from the body. Then the people started
to say, “No one should give fatwa while Imām Mālik is alive in Madīnah.”
This was a dead woman and there was no one else around but Allāh punished the woman doing
the ghusl in such a severe way because of what she said.
There was a similar story that came out of Saudi Arabia in 2003 regarding a dead woman. There
were many scholars who witnessed this incident. As this woman was being placed into the
grave, her body would literally not go inside the grave. It was refusing to accept her body.
They tried to force her body inside but it would not go in. They eventually tried to put her in
sideways but her body turned over and she fell out of her caffon face first into the grave. The
people turned to her son and asked him about what they had just seen. He told them that his
mother was someone who used to slander many different individuals.
We should be very careful of this sin. If we are speaking about a person, make sure that what
we are saying is true. If it is true then repent from backbiting and if it is not true, then we are
guilt of a crime that can expel us from Jannah.
Lying / al-Kadhib
Narrated ‘Abdullāh ibn Masood (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said,
‫صدق َح ََّّت يَكو َن‬ َّ ‫الص ْد َق يَ ْه ِدي إِ َىل الِْْبِّ َوإِ َّن الِْْبَّ يَ ْه ِدي إِ َىل ا ْْلَن َِّة َوإِ َّن‬
ْ َ‫الرج َل لَي‬ ِّ ‫إِ َّن‬
‫الرج َل لَيَ ْك ِذب‬
َّ ‫ور يَ ْه ِدي إِ َىل النَّا ِر َوإِ َّن‬ ِ ِ
َ ‫ب يَ ْهدي إ َىل الْفجور َوإ َّن الْفج‬
ِ ِ َ ‫صدِّي ًقا وإِ َّن الْ َك ِذ‬
َ
ِ
‫ب عِ ْن َد اللَّ ِه َك َّذابًا‬
َ َ‫َح ََّّت ي ْكت‬
“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on
telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to al-fajūr (i.e.
wickedness, evil-doing), and al-fajūr leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies
till he is written before Allāh, a liar.”
[Sahīh al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
Ḥafṣ ibn ‘Āṣim (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrates that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “It
is sufficient lying for a man to speak of everything he hears.” (Muslim)
There is a weak ḥadīth that a believer can be a coward or miser but cannot be a liar. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) included lying among the signs of hypocrisy. Rasūlullāh
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The signs of a hypocrite are four: when he speaks he lies…”
What is the difference between a kadhib and kadhāb? A kadhib tells lies sometimes and a
kadhāb tells lies all the time.
Lying is generally forbidden and “leads to wickedness”.
 Importance of striving for the high station of al-ṣiddīqīn (the consistently truthful).
Truthfulness (as-sidq fil kalaam) represents a consistency between your words and reality,
whereas, lying represents a discrepancy between your words and reality. Truthfulness in
action (As-Sidq fil ‘Amal) represents a consistency between your actions and your words. This
is why the highest station after Prophethood is the station of As-Siddeeqoon. Imām al-Aloosi
said that As-Siddeeq means a person who has to tell the truth always and he never lies. Lying,
therefore, stops someone from attaining this high station in the sight of Allāh.
Lying with your actions is the essence of hypocrisy.

Imām Ibn Taymiyyah said that everywhere in the Quran that Allāh mentions hypocrisy, (nifāq)
He also mentions lying (kadhib).
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬included lying among the signs of hypocrisy. Rasūlullāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬said,
‫ف َوإِذَا ائْ ت ِم َن َخا َن‬ ْ ‫ب َوإِذَا َو َع َد أ‬

َ َ‫َخل‬ ٌ َ‫آيَة الْمنَافِ ِق ثَال‬
َ ‫ث إِذَا َحد‬
َ ‫َّث َك َذ‬
"The signs of a hypocrite are three, whenever he speaks, he tells a lie, whenever he promises,
he always breaks it, and, if you trust him, he proves to be dishonest."
[Sahīh Bukhāri and Muslim]
Abū Hurayrah narrates that the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,

َِ ‫ِّث بِك ِّل ما‬
‫َس َع‬ َ ‫د‬ ‫َي‬ ‫ن‬
ْ َ
‫أ‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ب‬ ِ ‫َك َفى بِالْمرِء َك‬
‫ذ‬
َ َ ً َْ
“It is sufficient lying for a person to say everything he hears.”
[Muslim in the Introduction to his Sahīh]
This is someone who repeats everything that he hears. He does not verify anything. This
undoubtedly leads to him telling lies.
There is a weak ḥadīth that a believer can be a coward or miser but cannot be a liar. However,
the meaning of this hadith is somewhat true. To be a consistent liar would almost require that
a person be devoid of Imān.
Lying is therefore one of the worst sins that a person can commit. It is from the kabāir (major
sins) when it is consistent.
 Conditions under which lying is acceptable
Don’t keep looking for the exceptions because eventually you will fall into the prohibited.
Asmā’ b. Yazīd narrates from the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that there are three
forms of permissible lying: in battle, to your spouse, and to reconcile between two parties.
It is allowed for a man to tell his wife that she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
A man told his wife, “You are divorced if you are not more beautiful than the moon.” He then
went to Imām Mālik and asked if he was divorced, and Imām Mālik said, “Yes.” Imām al-Shāfi‘i
was present at the time and didn’t want to disrespect Imām Mālik by contradicting him, so he
followed the man home and said, “You are not divorced because your wife is more beautiful
than the moon because Allāh says, ‘We have created man with the best creation.’” Imām Mālik
later heard about this and laughed and praised Imām al-Shāfi‘i.
 Ambiguity: Types and conditions under which it can be used
Another type of ‘permissible lying’ is saying an ambiguous statement, which is literally true
but will be understood differently. This is called Tawriyah.
Ambiguity: Types and conditions under which it can be used:

This should only be done where there is a benefit and should not be done as a joke.
When al-Nājashi became Muslim, he didn’t want his people to know because they would kill
him. People started saying that al-Nājashi had accepted Islam. He tried to figure out a way he
could say he is Muslim but at the same time not be killed by his people. He wrote “la ilāha illa
Allāh Muḥammadan Rasūlullāh” and put it in his shirt pocket. The guards came and said, “We
have heard that you became Muslim.” He said, “What do you believe?” They said, “We believe
Jesus is the son of God and we believe in the trinity.” Al-Nājashi said, “I believe no more than
this (while he tapped his shirt pocket).”
The righteous would find ways to get out of things so that they would not lie. One time Imām
al-Sha‘bi was studying a question of jurisprudence, and he wanted to be left alone. He told his
daughter, “If anyone comes and asks for me, say he is not here (he drew a circle on the door
and told her to point at it when saying this).”
On another occasion he told his wife, ‘Fifty thousand years before the sky was introduced to
the world, Allāh wrote your name next to mine.’
Zaynab bint Jahsh used to say to the other wives of the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, ‘You were
married to the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬by your families, whereas, Allāh married me to the
Prophet from above seven heavens.’
A man told his wife, “You are divorced if you are not more beautiful than the moon.” He then
went to Imām Mālik and asked if he the divorce counts, and Imām Mālik said, “Yes.” Imām al-
Shāfi‘i was present at the time and didn’t want to disrespect Imām Mālik by contradicting
him, so he followed the man home and said, “You are not divorced because your wife is more
beautiful than the moon because Allāh says, ‘We have created man with the best creation.’”
Imām Mālik later heard about this and laughed and praised Imām al-Shāfi‘i.
Al-Mughīrah b. Shu‘bah wanted to marry a woman from a tribe, and his friend said, “She is not
a good match for you, I saw her kiss a man one time.” Two weeks later, he saw the man was
married to her. He asked the man what happened, and the man said, “Yeah, she kissed her
dad.”
Sa‘īd b. Jubayr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) was being pursued by al-Ḥajjāj. He stopped in a place and
then moved to the side and when they came, they did not recognize him as his turban was
wrapped around his face, so they asked him if he had seen Sa‘īd b. Jubayr, and he said, “He was
just right here (and pointed to where he was standing).”
Even at a time when it was technically speaking permissible to lie, they hated to lie. Sa‘īd could
have lied because his life was under threat. They hated to lie so much that they would find
creative ways to stay away from it.
Mockery
Evidence of the prohibition of mockery in Sūrat’l-Ḥujurāt:

‫ِّس ٍاء‬ ِ ٍ ِ َّ
َ ‫آمنوا َال يَ ْس َخ ْر قَ ْوٌم ِّمن قَ ْوم َع َس َٰى أَن يَكونوا َخيْ ًرا ِّمنْ ه ْم َوَال ن َساءٌ ِّمن ن‬
َ ‫ين‬
َ ‫يَا أَيُّ َها الذ‬
‫س ِاال ْسم‬
َ ‫ئ‬
ِْ‫اب ۖ‏ ب‬ ِ ‫عَس َٰى أَن يك َّن َخيْ را ِّمنْ ه َّن ۖ‏ وَال تَلْ ِمزوا أَنفسكم وَال تَنَاب زوا بِ ْاْلَلْ َق‬
َ َْ َ َ ً َ َ
‫ك هم الظَّالِمو َن‬ َ ِ‫ب فَأولََٰئ‬ ِ ِْ ‫الْفسوق ب ع َد‬
ْ ‫اِلميَان ۖ‏ َوَمن ََّلْ يَت‬ َْ
O you, who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be
better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than
them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames.
Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent - then
it is those who are the wrongdoers.
[Suratul-Ḥujurāt: 11]
This āyah stresses the importance of the prohibition of mockery and is also the āyah that
immediately precedes the āyah prohibiting backbiting. This is because mockery is an
indication of pride.
 Mockery based on the first sin of pride and arrogance
Allāh tells us that mockery comes from a bigger sin of kibr. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “It is enough of evil to carry on the Day of Judgment when he belittles his
brother.”
Why are women specified in this āyah of Sūrat’l-Ḥujurāt? Women have a tendency to belittle
one another and put each other down. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) addresses social realities. In
our times, there is no difference in a men’s gathering and a women’s gathering – there is just
as much backbiting and slander and mockery. The Arabs had some sense of dignity and honor
before Islam, so they would avoid mocking people.
The root cause of belittling someone else is that you are carrying kibr, which can stop you from
getting into Jannah. Kibr is a form of shirk. You are setting yourself up as a god besides Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) when you mock people.
 Non-verbal mockery
Whenever you mock a person, it is because you consider that you are better than them. If you
did not have this feeling, you would have never mocked that person. The Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
...‫َخاه الْم ْسلِ َم‬ ِ ِ ِ ‫ ِِبَس‬...

َ ‫ب ْام ِر ٍئ م ْن الش َِّّر أَ ْن ََيْق َر أ‬ ْ
“…It is enough of evil for a person that they belittle their brother Muslim…”
[Sahīh Muslim]
Mocking another person shows that there is something wrong with you, that you think that
you are better than that person.
Mocking is when you draw attention to the faults or shortcomings of another person.
Why are women specified in this āyah of Sūrat’l-Ḥujurāt? The mufassiroon said that this is
because women have a tendency to belittle one another and put each other down. Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) addresses social realities. In our times, there is no difference in men’s
gatherings and women’s gatherings – there is just as much backbiting and slander and
mockery. Since both groups are involved in this sin, Allāh specifically mentions both the men
and the women. The Arabs had some sense of dignity and honor before Islam, so they would
avoid mocking people.
The root cause of belittling someone else is that you are carrying kibr, which can stop you
from getting into Jannah. Kibr is a form of shirk. You are setting yourself up as a god besides
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) when you mock people.
Racism is a form of mockery. When Abū Dardā said to Bilāl, ‘you son of a black woman,’ he did
not technically say anything that was incorrect. So whenever you say, ‘abdu’ or ‘kallu,’ you are
technically correct but you have still committed a sin. It is not about whether what you said
was true or not. It is about how the statement is perceived by the person. Whenever you say
these and other words or statements in a racist manner it is Ḥarām. Bilāl was no doubt the son
of a black woman, but this statement was meant to put him down. When the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬heard of this he told Abū Dharr,
ٌ‫اهلِيَّة‬
ِ ‫إِنَّك امرٌؤ فِيك ج‬
َ َ ْ َ
‘You are someone who has inside of you some ‘jaahiliyyah’’
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
This is an extremely powerful statement because the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬had also said that
if the Imān of Abū Dharr was to be placed on one side of a scale and the Imān of everyone else
placed on the other side, his Imān would outweigh everyone else’s. Abū Dharr was therefore a
great person but this form of mockery was a form of pride. Abū Dharr therefore had to treat
this disease with its opposite. He went and put his face in the dirt and told Bilāl to step on his
face. Treat extremes with extremes.
Two-Faced Speech
On one occasion the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬asked the companions,

‫ْي الَّ ِذي يَأِِْت‬
ِ ْ ‫ال أ ََّول ِشراركم ذو الْو ْج َه‬
َ ْ َ َ َ‫َعلَم ق‬ ْ ‫َه ْل تَ ْدرو َن َم ْن ِش َرارك ْم؟ قَالوا اللَّه َوَرسوله أ‬
‫َهؤَال ِء بِ َو ْج ٍه َو َهؤَال ِء بِ َو ْج ٍه‬
“Do you know who the worst of you is?” They said, “Allāh and His Messenger know best.” He
said, “The worst of you is the one who is two- faced. The one who comes to one group with one
face and another group with another face.”
This is a more minor form than namīmah but it means that you are one person with one group
of people and a different person with a different group of people. This is, for example, when
you display affection for a person in their face and then behind their back you disparage them.
Al-Muntaṣir ibn Bilāl al-Anṣāri said:

How many a friend displays affection with his tongue,
But is deceitful in my absence and is not regretful.
He unwillingly amuses me so I may love him,
But his words in my absence strike me like arrows.
Two-facedness is encouraged by a rigid culture. If your family is extremely cultured and rigid,
then the kids know they have to be a certain way at home. The parents encourage two-
facedness in their families by doing this. Being able to carry one personality in one place and
another personality in another place is psychologically harmful.
You don’t have to change your name in public. People know your name is not “John.” If you
notice that the way that you talk changes or your demeanor changes, then you have a serious
personality disorder. It is very important to watch yourself.
Ask yourself: Are you a person who has a consistent personality wherever you are?
Revealing Secrets
Narrated from Jābir ibn ‘Abdullāh that the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
ٌ‫ت فَ ِه َي أ ََمانَة‬ ِ َ ‫إِذَا َحد‬

َ ‫يث ُثَّ الْتَ َف‬
َ ‫الرجل ا َْلَد‬
َّ ‫َّث‬
“If a man tells you something and then looks away, it is a trust.”
[at-Tirmidhi]
This is even if they didn’t tell you specifically that it was a secret. If it is obvious by indication
that they don’t want anyone else to know, then it is a trust.
This is a sign of hypocrisy:

The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬included lying among the signs of hypocrisy. Rasūlullāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ف َوإِذَا ائْ ت ِم َن َخا َن‬ ْ ‫ب َوإِذَا َو َع َد أ‬

َ َ‫َخل‬ ٌ َ‫آيَة الْمنَافِ ِق ثَال‬
َ ‫ث إِذَا َحد‬
َ ‫َّث َك َذ‬
"The signs of a hypocrite are three, whenever he speaks, he tells a lie, whenever he promises,
he always breaks it, and, if you trust him, he proves to be dishonest."
It is a form of trust or amānah when someone tells you a secret.
‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “I met ‘Uthmān b. ‘Affān (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) and
offered Ḥafṣah to him in marriage. I said, ‘If you wish, I will marry Ḥafṣah bint ‘Umar to you.’
He said, ‘I will think about it.’ Several nights were passed, and then he said, ‘I think that I do
not want to get married at this time.’ Then I met Abū Bakr and I said, ‘If you wish, I will marry
Ḥafṣah bint ‘Umar to you.’ Abū Bakr kept quiet and did not give me any response. I became
more upset about him than about ‘Uthmān. Several nights went passed, then the Messenger of
Allāh ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬proposed to her and I married her to him. Then Abū Bakr met me and said,
‘Perhaps you felt upset when you offered Ḥafṣah in marriage to me and I did not reply?’ I said,
‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Nothing prevented me from responding to your offer but the fact that I knew
that the Messenger of Allāh ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬had mentioned her, and I did not want to disclose
the secret of the Messenger of Allāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. If he had decided not to marry her, I would
have accepted your offer.’”
[Sahīh al-Bukhāri]
‘Umar also mentioned that after he went to Abū Bakr he went back to ‘Uthmān who was in
salāh and was prolonging it so that he would not have to speak with him. ‘Umar finally got the
message and when to complain to the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, saying that these two friends did
not even have the decency to respond to him. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, ‘Your daughter
will marry someone better than ‘Uthmān and ‘Uthmān will marry someone better than your
daughter.’ The Prophet married Hafsah and ‘Uthmān married Umm Kulthum, the daughter of
the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬.
Both Abū Bakr and ‘Uthmān knew that the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was considering Hafsah for
marriage and they did not want to reveal the secret of the Prophet so they kept it to
themselves.

‫ َوإِذَا‬،‫ف‬ ِ ِ ِِ ٍ ِ
ْ ‫ َوإِذَا َو َع َد أ‬،‫ب‬
َ َ‫َخل‬ َ ‫صا َم ْن إِذَا َحد‬
َ ‫َّث َك َذ‬ ً ‫أ َْربَع خالَل َم ْن ك َّن فيه َكا َن منَاف ًقا َخال‬
ِ ‫ ومن َكانَت فِ ِيه خصلَةٌ ِمنْ ه َّن َكانَت فِ ِيه خصلَةٌ ِمن النِّ َف‬،‫عاه َد َغ َدر وإِذَا خاصم فَجر‬
‫اق‬ َ ْ َ ْ ْ َ ْ ْ ََ ََ َ َ َ َ َ ََ
‫َح ََّّت يَ َد َع َها‬
"Whoever has (the following) four characteristics will be a pure hypocrite: "If he speaks, he
tells a lie; if he gives a promise, he breaks it, if he makes a covenant he proves treacherous; and
if he quarrels, he behaves in a very imprudent evil insulting manner (unjust). And whoever has
one of these characteristics has one characteristic of a hypocrite, unless he gives it us."
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
Imām Ibn Qudamah said that if you have one of these qualities then you have your share of
hypocrisy. We should not think that we are safe as long as we don’t have all four of these
characteristics. If I have one of these then I have a big share of hypocrisy. If I have 2 or three it
is a huge problem and if I have all 4 then I am a complete hypocrite.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) said,

ِ ‫أَوفواْ بِالْعق‬
‫ود‬ ْ
“Stick to your contracts.”
[Suratul Ma’idah: 1]
Which secrets do we disclose the most? The secrets between husband and wife. This is the
most serious form of exposing a secret. These are secrets that should remain between husband
and wife. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) said,
ِ ِ
ٌ َ‫اس لَّك ْم َوأَنت ْم لب‬
‫اس َّْل َّن‬ ٌ َ‫ه َّن لب‬
“They are a cover (garment) for you, and you are a garment for them.”
[Suratul Baqarah: 187]
The libaas is actually supposed to conceal a fault and beautify it. But, when you tell their
secrets to others, then what kind of person are you? The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
َّ‫ضي إِلَيْ ِه ُث‬

ِ ‫ضي إِ َىل امرأَتِِه وت ْف‬
ِ ‫الرجل ي ْف‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ َّ ِ ِ َ ‫إِ َّن ِم ْن أ‬
َ َْ َ َّ ‫َش ِّر النَّاس عنْ َد الله َمنْزلَةً يَ ْو َم الْقيَ َامة‬
‫يَنْشر ِس َّرَها‬
“The worst person on the Day of Judgment is a man who became intimate with his wife and
revealed her secrets.”
[Sahīh Muslim]
This is not limited to intimate secrets. It is all secrets. It is a trust between two people. The
secrets between husband and wife should never be talked about outside of the house or the
bedroom. The most severe of the secrets to reveal is the sexual secrets. You should never talk
about this to someone else, not even in a joke.
Breaking Promises
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says,

‫ين ه ْم ِْل ََمانَاِتِِ ْم َو َع ْه ِد ِه ْم َراعو َن‬ ِ َّ
َ ‫َوالذ‬
And those who are to their trusts and promises attentive
[Suratul-Ma‘ārij: 32]

‫ َوإِذَا‬،‫ف‬ ِ ِ ِِ ٍ ِ
ْ ‫ َوإِذَا َو َع َد أ‬،‫ب‬
َ َ‫َخل‬ َ ‫صا َم ْن إِذَا َحد‬
َ ‫َّث َك َذ‬ ً ‫أ َْربَع خالَل َم ْن ك َّن فيه َكا َن منَاف ًقا َخال‬
ِ ‫ ومن َكانَت فِ ِيه خصلَةٌ ِمنْ ه َّن َكانَت فِ ِيه خصلَةٌ ِمن النِّ َف‬،‫عاه َد َغ َدر وإِذَا خاصم فَجر‬
‫اق‬ َ ْ َ ْ ْ َ ْ ْ ََ ََ َ َ َ َ َ ََ
‫َح ََّّت يَ َد َع َها‬
"Whoever has (the following) four characteristics will be a pure hypocrite: "If he speaks, he
tells a lie; if he gives a promise, he breaks it, if he makes a covenant he proves treacherous; and
if he quarrels, he behaves in a very imprudent evil insulting manner (unjust). And whoever has
one of these characteristics has one characteristic of a hypocrite, unless he gives it us."
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
If you continually break your promises to people (even small), then you are a hypocrite. When
you make a promise, you have to fulfill it.
‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb had a relationship with Hurmuzān, one of the Ministers of Persia. In the
Battle of Qadisiyyah he was brought to Madīnah and he asked to see ‘Umar. They found him
asleep, on his shoes under a tree behind the masjid. He was shocked that he had no
bodyguards. He admired that and started crying and said, “You rule, and you rule with justice,
so you became safe. Allāh gave you safety and you were able to sleep.” When it came time for
his execution after he was captured, he said, “Ya amīr’l-mu’minīn, can I have a glass of water?”
He was given a glass of water. He said, “Am I protected until I finish drinking this water?”
‘Umar said, “You are protected.” The emperor threw the glass on the ground and broke it.
‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb started consulting the ṣaḥābah to figure out what to do. He did not want
to break his promise. He eventually decided not to break his promise so he went to Hurmuzān
and told him that he was free to go. Hurmuzān then said the shahādah. ‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb
said, “Why didn’t you save us the trouble and take shahādah first?” He said, “I didn’t want
people to think that I was becoming Muslim because I was afraid. I wanted them to know I was
sincere.” He knew ‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb wouldn’t break his promise. ‘Umar then embraced him.
‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar on the day of his death married off his daughter while he was dying because
he had promised a young man that he would marry his daughter to him and his daughter had
accepted it. They took their promises very seriously.
Don’t make empty promises if you are not capable of fulfilling it. Try not to be committal if you
are not absolutely sure that you would be able to fulfill that commitment. Avoid saying things
that are absolutely committal. Do not say ‘I will be there in five minutes,’ and then show up 20
minutes later.
If you are invited to two places then you should attend the first invitation so that you can be a
man or woman who is known to keep and fulfill his/her amaanah.
‘Abdullāh b. Mubarak borrowed a pen in al-Shām and forgot to return it to the person he took
it from. He went to his city, Marw’ in Persia and then realized he still had the pen. He went all
the way back, around 500km, to al-Shām, just to return the pen. He felt the severity of the
amānah when he told the person he would give it back and didn’t give it back.
‫َوأ َْوفوا بِالْ َع ْه ِد ۖ‏ إِ َّن الْ َع ْه َد َكا َن َم ْسئ ًوال‬

And fulfill [every] commitment. Indeed, the commitment is ever [that about which one will be]
questioned.
[Suratul-Isrā’: 34]
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬related to us a very amazing and beautiful story,
َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫ف ِدينَا ٍر‬

‫ال ائْتِ ِين‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ ِ ِ
َ ْ‫يل أَ ْن ي ْسل َفه أَل‬َ ‫ض بَِين إ ْس َرائ‬َ ‫يل َسأ ََل بَ ْع‬ َ ‫أَنَّه ذَ َك َر َرجالً م ْن بَِين إ ْس َرائ‬
.ً‫ال َك َفى بِاللَّ ِه َك ِفيال‬
َ َ‫ ق‬.‫يل‬ِ ‫ال فَأْتِِين بِالْ َك ِف‬
َ َ‫ ق‬.‫يدا‬ َ ‫ فَ َق‬. ‫ُّه َد ِاء أ ْش ِهده ْم‬
ً ‫ال َك َفى بِاللَّ ِه َش ِه‬ َ ‫بِالش‬
‫س‬ َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫ فَ َخ َر َج ِيف الْبَ ْح ِر‬،‫َج ٍل م َس ًّمى‬ ِِ ِ
َ ‫ ُثَّ الْتَ َم‬،‫اجتَه‬َ ‫ضى َح‬ َ ‫ فَ َدفَعَ َها إلَيْه إ َىل أ‬.‫ت‬
َ ْ‫ص َدق‬
َ ‫ال‬ َ َ‫ق‬
‫ فَ نَ َق َرَها‬،ً‫َخ َذ َخ َشبَة‬ َ ‫ فَأ‬،‫ فَلَ ْم ََِي ْد َم ْرَكبًا‬،‫َجلَه‬ َّ ‫َج ِل الَّ ِذي أ‬ ِِ

َ ‫ يَ ْق َدم عَلَْيه لْل‬،‫َم ْرَكبًا يَ ْرَكب َها‬
‫ ُثَّ أَتَى ِِبَا إِ َىل‬،‫ض َع َها‬ ِ ‫ ُثَّ َز َّجج مو‬،‫احبِ ِه‬ ِ ‫ وص ِحي َفةً ِمنْه إِ َىل ص‬،‫فَأ َْدخل فِيها أَلْف ِدينَا ٍر‬
َْ َ َ ََ َ َ ََ
‫ فَقلْت‬،ً‫ فَ َسأَلَِين َك ِفيال‬،‫ف ِدينَا ٍر‬ َ ْ‫َِن كنْت تَ َسلَّ ْفت فالَنًا أَل‬ ِّ ‫ك تَ ْعلَم أ‬َ َّ‫ال اللَّه َّم إِن‬
َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫الْبَ ْح ِر‬
،‫ك‬ َ ِ‫ض َي ب‬ ِ ‫ فَر‬،‫يدا‬ ً ِ ‫ فَقلْت َك َفى بِاللَّ ِه َش‬،‫يدا‬
‫ه‬ ً ِ ‫ و َسأَلَِين َش‬،‫ك‬
‫ه‬ َ ِ‫ فَر ِضي ب‬،ً‫َك َفى بِاللَّ ِه َك ِفيال‬
َ َ َ َ
‫ فَ َرَمى ِِبَا‬.‫َستَ ْو ِدع َك َها‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ
ْ ‫ َوإِ ِِّن أ‬،‫ أَبْعَث إِلَيْه الَّذي لَه فَلَ ْم أَقْد ْر‬،‫َِن َج َه ْدت أَ ْن أَج َد َم ْرَكبًا‬ ِّ ‫َوأ‬
‫ فَ َخ َر َج‬،ِ‫ ََيْرج إِ َىل بَلَ ِده‬،‫ك يَلْتَ ِمس َم ْرَكبًا‬ ِ
َ ‫ َو ْه َو ِيف ذَل‬،‫ف‬ َ ‫ص َر‬ ِ ِ ‫ِيف الْبح ِر ح ََّّت و َْل‬
َ ْ‫ ُثَّ ان‬،‫ت فيه‬ َْ َ َ َْ
،‫ فَإِذَا بِا ْخلَ َشبَ ِة الَِِّت فِ َيها الْ َمال‬،‫ يَنْظر لَعَ َّل َم ْرَكبًا قَ ْد َجاءَ ِِبَالِ ِه‬،‫َسلَ َفه‬ ِ
ْ ‫الرجل الَّذي َكا َن أ‬ َّ
ِ ِ ِ َّ ‫ال و‬ ِِ
‫ فَأَتَى‬،‫َسلَ َفه‬ ْ ‫ ُثَّ قَد َم الَّذي َكا َن أ‬،َ‫الصحي َفة‬ َ َ ‫ فَلَ َّما نَ َش َرَها َو َج َد الْ َم‬،‫َخ َذ َها ْل َْهله َحطَبًا‬ َ ‫فَأ‬
ِ ِ ِ ِ ِ َّ َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫ف ِدينَا ٍر‬
‫ فَ َما َو َج ْدت‬،‫ك‬ َ ‫ك ِِبَال‬ َ َ‫ب آلتِي‬ ٍ ‫ب َمرَك‬ ِ
ْ َ‫ال َوالله َما زلْت َجاه ًدا يف طَل‬
ِ ْ‫بِاْلَل‬
‫َِن ََلْ أ َِج ْد َم ْرَكبًا‬ ِّ ‫ال أ ْخِْب َك أ‬ َ َ‫ت إِ َىلَّ بِ َش ْى ٍء ق‬ َ ْ‫ت بَ َعث‬ َ ْ‫ال َه ْل كن‬ َ َ‫ ق‬.‫َم ْرَكبًا قَ ْب َل الَّ ِذي أَتَيْت فِ ِيه‬
‫ف‬ ْ ‫ص ِر‬ ْ‫ن‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ف‬ ِ ‫ك الَّ ِذي ب عثْت ِيف ا ْخل َشب‬
‫ة‬ َ ‫ن‬
ْ ‫ع‬ ‫ى‬ ‫َد‬
َّ ‫أ‬ ‫د‬
ْ َ‫ق‬ ‫ه‬ َّ
‫ل‬ ‫ال‬ ‫ن‬َّ ِ
‫إ‬َ‫ف‬ ‫ال‬
َ ‫ق‬
َ . ِ ِ‫قَ بل الَّ ِذي ِج ْئت ف‬
‫يه‬
َ َ َ َ ََ َ َ َْ
ِ ‫ف الدِّينَا ِر ر‬
‫اش ًدا‬ ِ ْ‫بِاْلَل‬
َ
"An Israeli man asked another Israeli to lend him one thousand Dinars. The second man
required witnesses. The former replied, 'Allah is sufficient as a witness.' The second said, 'I
want a surety.' The former replied, 'Allah is sufficient as a surety.' The second said, 'You are
right,' and lent him the money for a certain period. The debtor went across the sea. When he
finished his job, he searched for a transport so that he might reach in time for the repayment
of the debt, but he could not find any. So, he took a piece of wood and made a hole in it,
inserted in it one thousand Dinars and a letter to the lender and then closed (i.e. sealed) the
hole tightly. He took the piece of wood to the sea and said. 'O Allah! You know well that I took
a loan of one thousand Dinars from so-and-so. He demanded a surety from me but I told him
that Allah's Guarantee was sufficient and he accepted Your guarantee. He then asked for a
witness and I told him that Allah was sufficient as a Witness, and he accepted You as a Witness.
No doubt, I tried hard to find a conveyance so that I could pay his money but could not find, so
I hand over this money to You.' Saying that, he threw the piece of wood into the sea till it went
out far into it, and then he went away. Meanwhile he started searching for a conveyance in
order to reach the creditor's country.
One day the lender came out of his house to see whether a ship had arrived bringing his
money, and all of a sudden he saw the piece of wood in which his money had been deposited.
He took it home to use for fire. When he sawed it, he found his money and the letter inside it.
Shortly after that, the debtor came bringing one thousand Dinars to him and said, 'By Allah, I
had been trying hard to get a boat so that I could bring you your money, but failed to get one
before the one I have come by.' The lender asked, 'Have you sent something to me?' The
debtor replied, 'I have told you I could not get a boat other than the one I have come by.' The
lender said, 'Allah has delivered on your behalf the money you sent in the piece of wood. So,
you may keep your one thousand Dinars and depart guided on the right path.' "
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
When you are trying your utmost to fulfill your trusts Allāh will make a way for you.
Impermissible Joking
Abū Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said that the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was told,
َ َ‫ك ت َداعِب نَا ق‬

‫ال إِ ِِّن َال أَقول إَِّال َح ًّقا‬ َ َّ‫ول اللَّ ِه إِن‬
َ ‫قَالوا يَا َرس‬
“O Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, you are joking with us.” He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, “I only say what is
true.”
[at-Tirmidhi]
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬had always smiling face. Not only was he ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬always
smiling, but his presence made everyone around him smile. He ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬made them laugh
because of his personality. There are entire volumes of books on the jokes of the Prophet ‫صلى‏‬
‫هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, “Even when I joke, I only speak the truth.” There
are numerous examples of this. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬made sure to be careful not to lie
when he would joke.
Jokes are very relative to the time and place in which they are said. Some of the jokes of the
Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬might not seem very funny to us, just as we do not find our parent’s
jokes funny. Therefore, do not feel bad if you do not find the jokes of the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬and the Sahābahs funny. It is not kufr if you do not find it funny. However, we can take the
example of the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, in that he used to joke a lot but he always maintained
his truthfulness. Anas (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “He would joke but would only say the truth.”
Whenever the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬joked there was always some truth to it.
Once the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬grabbed Zāhir, a free person, in the marketplace and said,
‘Who will by this slave from me.’ The incident is narrated below by Anas ibn Mālik.
ِ ِ ْ ‫ادي ِة َكا َن‬ ِ ِ
،‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم‬ ِّ ِ‫ َوَكا َن ي ْهدي إِ َىل الن‬،‫اَس ه َزاه ًرا‬ َ َ‫َن َرجال م ْن أ َْه ِل الْب‬ َّ ‫أ‬
َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫ إِذَا أ ََر َاد أَ ْن ََيْر َج‬،‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم‬ ِِ ِ ِ
‫َّب صلى‬ ُّ ِ‫ال الن‬ ُّ ِ‫ فَ ي َج ِّهزه الن‬،‫َهديَّةً م َن الْبَاديَة‬
‫اضروه َوَكا َن صلى اهلل عليه وسلم َِي بُّه َوَكا َن َرجال‬ ِ ‫ادي ت نَا وََنْن ح‬ ِ ِ ِ
َ َ َ َ‫ إ َّن َزاه ًرا ب‬:‫اهلل عليه وسلم‬
‫ضنَه ِم ْن َخلْ ِف ِه َوه َو ال‬ َ َ‫احت‬ْ ‫ يَ ْوًما َوه َو يَبِيع َمتَاعَه َو‬،‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم‬ ُّ ِ‫ فَأَتَاه الن‬،‫يما‬ ً ‫َدم‬
ِ
ِ ِ ‫يب‬
‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم فَ َجعَ َل ال يَأْلو‬ ُّ ِ‫ف الن‬ َ ‫ َم ْن َه َذا؟ أ َْرسلْ ِين فَالْتَ َف‬:‫ال‬
َ ‫ت فَعَ َر‬ َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫صره‬ ْ
ِ
‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه‬ ُّ ِ‫ فَ َج َع َل الن‬،‫ْي عَ َرفَه‬ َ ‫َّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم ح‬ َ ِ‫ص َق ظَ ْه َره ب‬
ِّ ِ‫ص ْد ِر الن‬ َ ْ‫َما أَل‬
‫ال‬ ِ ‫ إِذًا واللَّ ِه ََِتدِِن َك‬،ِ‫ول اهلل‬

َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫اس ًدا‬ َ ‫ فَ َق‬،‫ َم ْن يَ ْش ََِتي َه َذا الْ َع ْب َد‬:‫ يَقول‬،‫وسلم‬
َ ‫ يَا َرس‬:‫ال‬
َ
‫َنت عِ ْن َد اهللِ غَ ٍال‬
َ ‫ أ‬: ‫ال‬ َ َ‫اس ٍد أ َْو ق‬
ِ ‫ لَكِن عِنْ َد اهللِ لَست بِ َك‬:‫النَِّب صلى اهلل عليه وسلم‬
َ ْ ْ ُّ
A resident of the wilderness whose name was Zaahir (ibn Hiraam Al-Ashja'ee), whenever he
visited Rasooluallah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, he brought with him presents of the wilderness, vegetables
etc., and presented it to Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. When he intended to leave Madinah,
Rasoolullah ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬used to present him with provisions of the city. Once, Rasoolullah
‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, "Zaahir is our wilderness, and we are his city." Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
was attached to him. Zaahir radiyallahu anhu was not very handsome. Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬once approached him, while he was selling his merchandise. Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬
caught him in between the arms from the back in such a manner that he (Sayyidina Zaahir
radiyallahu anhu) could not see him. Zaahir radiyallahu anhu said, "Who is this?, leave me."
But when he saw with the corner of his eye that it was Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, he
straightened his back and began pressing it to the chest of Rasoolullah ‫( صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬For as
long as he gained this opportunity it was better than a thousand gifts). Rasoolullah ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏‬
‫ وسلم‬then said, "Who will purchase this slave?" Zaahir radiyallahu anhu replied, "O Rasool of
Allah, if you shall sell me, you will be selling a defective thing, and will earn a very little sum."
Rasoolullah ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said, "No, you are not defective in the sight of Allah, but very
valuable."
[Shamaail Muhammadiyyah]
The Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, through this joke was trying to teach Zāhir a lesson. He was a
person with a very low self-esteem and so the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬wanted to show him how
important he was to Allāh.
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was someone you wanted to be around. He was down to earth and
wanted to keep his sahābahs happy. What is prohibited is that a person is always laughing.
Nu’aimān, one of the funniest sahābahs, used to joke a lot. However, he was also a veteran of
every battle with the Prophet ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. So, when it was time to be serious, he was serious
and down to business. This is how the sahābahs were.
Guidelines for joking:

- Do not mock Allāh and the religion.
This is a form of joking that is never allowed. Allāh says that the people of Jahannam
will say,
‫إََِّّنَا كنَّا ََن وض َونَلْ َعب ۚ ق ْل أَبِاللَّ ِه َوآيَاتِِه َوَرسولِِه كنت ْم تَ ْستَ ْه ِزئو َن‬
"We were only conversing and playing." Say, "Is it Allah and His verses and His
Messenger that you were mocking?"
[Suratut-Tawbah: 65]
- The Jokes should not mocking someone
Don’t make a joke at the expense of another’s honor or dignity.
- Make sure that the person you are joking with is able to take your joke.
- Do not joke inappropriately with someone who has much older than you so that they
feel disrespected.
- Do not joke too much with someone much younger than you so that they stop taking
you serious.
- Avoid frightening people.
‫ع م ْسلِ ًما‬ ِ ِ ِ
َ ‫الَ ََي ُّل لم ْسل ٍم أَ ْن ي َرِّو‬
“It is not permissible for a person to frighten his brother.”
[Abū Dawood]
The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬mentioned this in regards to the following incident:
ِ ٍ
‫َّب صلى اهلل‬ ِّ ِ‫ حمَ َّمد صلى اهلل عليه وسلم أَنَّه ْم َكانوا يَسْيو َن َم َع الن‬،‫َص َحاب‬ ْ ‫َحدَّثَنَا أ‬
ِ
‫ال‬
َ ‫ِع فَ َق‬
َ ‫َخ َذه فَ َفز‬َ ‫عليه وسلم فَ نَ َام َرجلٌ منْ ه ْم فَانْطَلَ َق بَ ْعضه ْم إِ َىل َح ْب ٍل َمعَه فَأ‬
"‫ع م ْسلِ ًما‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ
َ ‫َرسول اللَّه صلى اهلل عليه وسلم " الَ ََي ُّل لم ْسل ٍم أَ ْن ي َرِّو‬
The Companions of the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬told us that they were travelling with the
Prophet‫‏صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. One of the man slept, while the other one brought a rope with
him. The first one took it, by which he was frightened. The Prophet said: It is not lawful
for a Muslim that he frightens a Muslim.
[Abū Dawood]
- Do not take the property of another person.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
‫ال يأخذ أحدكم متاع أخيه جادا وال هازال‬
Do not take the property of someone else, either in seriousness or jokingly.
[Adāb Ash-Shar’iyah by Ibn Maflah]
There is an issue that arises because of the understanding of the word ‫كذب‬. If you were to look
up this word it would be translated as ‘to lie’. However, al-kadhib and lying are not
synonymous. Ibn Qudamah clarifies the meaning of the word. He says that if you say
something that is not true to someone, and they understand that what you are telling them is
not true then this is not kadhib. One of the conditions of kadhib is that they person believes
what you are saying and is taking you seriously. Therefore, if someone asks you where you
were and you tell them that you were on the moon, this is not a lie, since everyone knows that
this was not meant literally. However, be very careful because “some” people may still take
you seriously.
There is a difference of opinion on this regards, however, this seems to be the correct opinion.
The following incident supports this position, even though there is some weakness in the
narration:
Rasūlullāh ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬was sitting with ‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib. ‘Ali (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) was very
poor and would work all day to earn so that he could eat that day. One day he earned 12 dates.
He went to the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬and said, “Ya Rasūlullāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, I want to share
this food with you.” He gave six dates to the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬and kept six for himself.
When ‘Ali noticed people coming towards them, he pushed all the seeds in front of the Prophet
‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬. The ṣaḥābahs knew they could joke with him and understood he appreciated
jokes as long as they were not overboard. When the ṣaḥābah came, ‘Ali (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said,
“Look at the Prophet of Allāh ‫صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬, he ate all of the dates by himself.” Rasūlullāh ‫صلى‏‬
‫ هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬laughed and said, “Look at ‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib, when he eats the dates, he swallows the
seeds too.” It was understood that this was a joke.
Just be careful with some people since they will take you seriously. Once the father-in-law of
Sh. Omar shaved his head and he happened to meet a woman who had seen him just the day
before. She asked what happened and he replied that he had just made ‘Umrah. She replied,
‘oh, mashallah.’ He had to remind her that she had seen him just yesterday.
Ibn Rajab reported that ‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib said, “Make joking part of your conversation the way
that you would put salt in your food.”
These words should be written in gold. Too much salt will give you a heart attack, and not
enough will make you bland.
Excessive Flattery
Abū Bakra narrated that a man praised another man in front of the Prophet. The Prophet ‫صلى‏‬
‫ هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said to him,
ِ ‫ك قَطَعت عنق ص‬
َ ِ‫احب‬ ِ ‫ك قَطَعت عنق‬
‫ك‬ َ َ َ ْ َ ِ‫صاحب‬َ َ َ ْ َ َ‫َويْ ل‬
‘Woe to you. You have cut the neck of your companion. Woe to you. You have cut the neck of
your companion’
[Sahīh Bukhāri]
This is to praise someone so much that you flatter that person.
‘Atā said that once a man was praising another person in the presence of Ibn ‘Umar. Ibn ‘Umar
picked up some dirt and threw it at the man. He then said that he heard the Messenger of Allāh
saying,
ِ ِ
َ ‫احثوا ِيف وجوه ِه ْم الت َُّر‬
‫اب‬ َ ‫إِذَا َرأَيْ ت ْم الْ َمدَّاح‬
ْ َ‫ْي ف‬
‘If someone comes to you praising you too much, take some dust and throw it at him.’
[Musnad Ahmad]
This should not be confused with being thankful and grateful. The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,
َ‫َّاس َال يَ ْشكر اللَّه‬

َ ‫َم ْن َال يَ ْشكر الن‬
‘He who does not thank people does not thank Allāh.’
[At-Tirmidhi]
The difference is that you do not go overboard where you become a fitna for that person.
Foul Language
Cursing and foul language are different things in Islam.

‫ليس املؤمن بطعان وال لعان وال فاحش وال بذيء‬
The believer is not one who is aggressive and Abūsive with his language, and he does not curse
and he is not foul.
[Ibn Maflah]
Cursing would literally mean to make a du’a or invoke a curse against a person. This is very
dangerous since the Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said that if you invoke a curse on a person, the
curse can come back to you. Therefore, cursing should be avoided, except in very serious
situations.
The Believer should not be foul in general. It should not be in our nature. Our normal
understanding of the word cussing would fall under this category. It is something that is
displeasing to Allāh and not good for your character.
Speaking “Urdu”
Speaking Urdu…in front of non-urdu speakers or speaking Arabic…in front of non-Arabic
speakers.

ِ ِ‫ان دو َن الثَّال‬
‫ث‬ ِ َ‫إِذَا َكانوا ثَالَثَةٌ فَالَ ي تَ نَاجى اثْ ن‬
َ َ
If three people are in a room two of them should not be speaking privately.
The third needs to know what is being said. This includes languages. The person who does not
understand what is being said will always become suspicious that the other two are talking
about him. If we are at a grocery store and the clerk is speaking Chinese to someone else, we
automatically assume that they are talking about us.
Disciplining Ourselves
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If three people are in a room, two people should
not have a private conversation in the presence of the third.” This includes speaking in a
different language that the third person doesn’t understand. This includes on a basketball
court! You can’t have a secret language the opponent doesn’t understand. It allows Shayṭān to
play with the other person.
Pride / al-Kibr
There are different manifestations of arrogance and pride. The most serious one is kibr.
 The seriousness of kibr as a sin:

Indeed, He (Allāh) does not like the arrogant. (al-Naḥl: 23)
Kibr is made of two different things.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The one who possesses an iota of kibr in his
heart shall not be granted admission to Jannah.” He was (then asked), “[But] O Messenger of
Allāh! A man likes to have fine clothing and footwear. Is this included in kibr?” He
responded, “No. Allāh is Beautiful and loves beauty. Kibr is the rejection of truth and
condescension of others.” (Muslim)
There is kibr with the revelation and kibr with the people. Kibr is the form of pride that
constitutes kufr (pure disbelief). It is from al-shirk’l-akbar. These two things are solely
belonging to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). First and foremost, only Allāh has the right to
legislate. There is a difference between rejection of not practicing and rejection of denial. To
disbelieve in an āyah that is clear takes a person out of the fold of Islam.
We are so weak as human beings that you can get on a rollercoaster and when a cardboard
character jumps at you, you scream. This same person thinks he understands reality enough
to debate with Allāh and accuse the Qurʾān or Sunnah of being illogical. Knowledge prevents
you from a lot of this stuff. Kibr (rejection of the truth) is one of those things that usually
comes from nothing from ignorance. When a person decides anything from the Qurʾān and
Sunnah is illogical and denies it, then it is a form of pride.
If you are uncomfortable with something and know you need to conform to it and draw to it,
then it is not disbelief. It is weakness of faith, and you are trying to understand your faith.
Sometimes two logical answers can be different. Two people can give a logical answer to the
same question and it will still be different.
The second form of pride is belittling people and thinking that you are better than people. Kibr
is an action of the heart. Abu Hurayrah narrates a ḥadīth that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “There were two men from among Bani Isrā’īl striving for the same goal. One of
them would commit sin and the other would strive to do his best in the world. The man who
exerted himself in worship continued to see the other in sin. He would say, ‘Refrain from it.’
One day, he found him in sin and said to him, ‘Refrain from it.’ The sinner said, ‘Leave me
alone with my Lord. Have you been sent as a watchman over me?’ The worshipper said, ‘I
swear by Allah, Allah will not forgive you, nor will He admit you to Paradise.’ Then their souls
were taken back (by Allah), and they met together with the Lord of the worlds. Allah said to
this man who had striven hard in worship, ‘Had you knowledge about Me or had you power
over that which I had in My Hand?’ Allah said to the man who sinned, ‘Go and enter Paradise
by My Mercy.’ He said about the other, ‘Take him to Hell.’” Abu Hurayrah said, “By Him in
Whose hand my soul is, he wpoke a word by which this world and the next world of his were
destroyed.”
No matter how bad someone is, don’t ever allow yourself to say that the person is going to
Hellfire. That person may die in a situation pleasing to Allāh, and Allāh may punish you just
because of that state.
Judging others and thinking you are better than others is kibr. Only Allāh has the right to
Judge.
 Manifestations of Pride
1. Thinking you’re better than people but trying to “act” humble

Sometimes people are arrogant but a humble personality. You are not fooling Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). When a person has the disease of thinking he is better than people
but around people acts humble, he has kibr. It is only a matter of time before he is exposed.
2. Degrading others with your actions

It is obvious you think you are better than someone but you are not saying it.
3. Constantly bragging about your superiority or accomplishments

The form of pride Iblīs had was religious pride. He thought he was better than Ādam
(‘alayhi’l-salām) because of all the worship he had done. If you think that because you
worship that you are better than someone else, then it is an issue of pride.
 Qualities of a Person of Pride
1. Likes people to stand up for him

If a person walks into a room and you are sitting down, can you stand up to honor the
person? Yes, you can. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told the ṣaḥābah to stand when
Mu‘ādh walked in to honor their leader. The problem is when a person walks in and wants
people to stand for him. If people seek to honor you, it is okay as long as you are not
desiring it and not looking for it.
2. Wants others to walk behind him
3. Doesn’t visit people because he feels he is only deserving of being visited

You expect people to always visit you because you are special. Make sure that you visit
people and don’t always expect them to visit you.
4. Doesn’t like others to be on his level

This happened more in the past. This is not as much of an issue anymore.
5. Expects others to carry his things
6. Does not engage in chores

 Remedy for Pride and Arrogance
One of the ways to rid yourself of pride is to acquaint yourself with people who are below you
(this doesn’t mean in status – it means in situations). Sometimes you may wonder what this
means. When the children of Ḥabashah came, Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would
embarrass himself by speaking broken Abyssinian just to play with the kids. This shows that
he didn’t feel so big. He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was with the people and at the level of the
people.
One of the beauties of working with the youth is that you find those involved with drugs and
other things have really good qualities but are just messed up in that. If you truly sit with
them, you see the beauty in them.
In the book on the virtues of Imām Mālik, it is written: Imām Mālik once saw a man who was
filthy drunk and foaming at the mouth and saying, “Allāh.” No one saw the man drink even
though everyone knew he was drunk, so he couldn’t be punished, which shows the justice of
Sharī‘ah. Imām Mālik wiped the man’s mouth with a handkerchief and picked him up and held
him and walked him home. Look at the care and kindness. That night, Imām Mālik saw a
dream that it was being told to him: “We have purified you as you have purified your brother.”
The next day, he went to the masjid for fajr and didn’t understand what he saw. He saw the
man dressed in the best garment with nūr in his face praying ṣalāt’l-fajr. It was the first time he
saw him in the masjid, and he asked, “What happened? How did your situation change so
fast?” The man said to him, “The one who came to you in your dream came to me in mine.”
Imām Mālik came down to the level of that person and helped him and gave him dignity, so
Allāh purified and elevated Imām Mālik as a result of that.
Generally speaking, someone who is acquainted with the poor and people in hardship has a
lesser chance of becoming prideful and thinking he is better than people. Authentic ḥadīth in
Aḥmad: A man complained to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that his heart is
becoming hard. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Caress the head of an orphan.”
Imām Mālik felt the honor of the religion should be preserved.
Engage in chores. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would take care of his own clothes
and shoes. In a gathering, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was always serving and
never being served. Look for ways to serve to keep your ego and pride down and to belittle
and lower yourself.
The hardest part of Ḥajj is using the bathrooms in Muzdalifah and ‘Arafāh. A convert told
Shaykh Omar that the most spiritual part of Ḥajj was going to the bathroom because it made
him realize how little we are. We think we’re all that and have to reduce yourself in this way.
It is good to make yourself feel small. At the end of the day, you are just a human being. Find
ways to belittle yourself and put yourself down. Always be the one serving others in any
gathering. Don’t let people carry things for you. Always humble yourself.
1. Know yourself
2. Know your Lord
3. Remember death
Love of Prestige/ Ḥubb’l-Jāh
 People of righteousness and piety avoid celebrity

 The inner struggle against the love of prominence
 How the quest for status can destroy one’s dīn.
This destroys people and society. This is the root cause of riyā’. It starts off first diagnosing
why you have a love of prestige inside of yourself. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has given us
many measures within the Sunnah to avoid developing that love. The first one is to keep the
share of your private acts of worship greater than your public acts of worship. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would pray his sunnahs at home and said, “Do not turn your homes
into graveyards.” Do things that people don’t see you do. Keep a portion of your charity
secret. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A secret charity extinguishes the anger
of your Lord.”
Scholars who write about maqāṣid’l-Sharī‘ah talk about acts that need to be done to promote the
dīn. The overall aspects of religion are better to be done in private and in home. Don’t develop
a love for celebrity and prestige in your heart.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Everybody at the end of the day wants attention and to be loved.
The difference between the believer and the person who has that quality of celebrity is that no
one would be presented with the love and praise of the creation versus the praise of the
Creator and then choose the praise of the creation over the Creator. On the Day of Judgment,
you want Allāh to praise you to everyone else. The way that you treat your love for prestige is
that you develop a love for prestige in the sight of the Creator.” The more you can be praised
by Allāh in private, the more Allāh will praise you on the Day of Judgment when it counts
most.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) loves of His creation the
God-fearing, the pure in heart, those who the one who is khafiyy (out of public sight), and those
who are innocent, whose face is dusty, whose hair is unkempt, whose stomach is empty, and
who, if he asks permission to enter to the rulers, is not granted it, and if he were to ask for a
woman in marriage, he would be refused, and when he leaves the world, it does not miss him,
and if he goes out, his going out is not noticed, and if he falls sick, he is not attended to, and if
he dies, he is not accompanied to his grave.”
Ibrāhīm b. Adham was great scholar of ḥadīth. He tried hard to keep away from the people in
fear of them mentioning him too much, but his fame shot up and his name because so
widespread to the point that it was said one time, “He is in the garden” (where he worked
tending to the crops), so the people entered it saying, “Where is Ibrāhīm b. Adham?” So he
began to ask among them, “Where is Ibrāhīm b. Adham?” He didn’t want to be in that
situation.
Ibn Mas‘ūd said, “O people, be the springs of knowledge and the lamps of guidance! Stick to
your homes and be a light in the night, revivers of hearts, wearing worn-out clothes. You will
then be known as amongst the people of the heavens and hidden against the people of the
earth.”
What about the issue of leadership and being recognized? One of the things that is important
to understand is that if leadership seeks you, then accept it. If you seek leadership, then you
have a problem. In Islam, you don’t give leadership to those who seek it. This is what
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said. If you want leadership that badly, then it will
destroy you.
‘Umar b. Sa‘d b. Abi Waqqāṣ came to Sa‘d b. Abi Waqqāṣ during the time of ‘Ali when the fitnah
started. Sa‘d b. Abi Waqqāṣ fled away from people and was raising sheep on the outskirts of
Madīnah. ‘Umar b. Sa‘d wanted to be a governor, so he went to his father. When Sa‘d b. Abi
Waqqāṣ saw his son, he said, “I seek refuge in Allāh from the evil of the one coming to me
now.” ‘Umar b. Sa‘d said, “You were in Badr and should be taking on leadership.” Sa‘d said to
his son, “Allāh loves the slave who is fearful of Him and self-sufficient and is hidden.” ‘Umar b.
Sa‘d left his dad frustrated and tried to latch onto leadership wherever he could find it.
Mu‘āwiyah gave him honorable tasks and then under Yazīd b. Mu‘āwiyah, he latched onto
leadership where he could find it. He wanted to be in the spotlight. When al-Ḥusayn revolted,
he was the one given the order to stop al-Ḥusayn. He didn’t want to do it, but at the same
time, he was told that if he didn’t, then his leadership would be taken away. It was his army
that killed al-Ḥusayn. Think about it: his love for leadership led him to that ending.
When people pursue leadership and positions that are out there, they sell their souls in the
process. How many communities have been destroyed because of the love of leadership of a
few people? You shouldn’t seek leadership. Abu Dharr came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam). The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said if his īmān was to be weighed against
everyone else, it would be heavier. When he asked the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for
leadership, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) didn’t give it to him and said, “We don’t
give it to those who ask for it.”
What if leadership comes to you? What is the ruling? The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said to ‘Uthmān, “One day, you are going to be put in a position that Allāh wants to put you in,
and the people are going to demand you relinquish that position. Do not take off the garment
that Allāh dressed / adorned you with.” If you get pushed into a position of leadership without
desiring it, take it and do your best to work on your intention. Do your best not to seek it.
Showing off / al-Riyā’
‘Abdullāh b. ʿAbbās said, “Indeed Allāh has slaves silenced by the fear of Allāh although they
are eloquent in speech.”
‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak used to wrap himself in public and try to do things without being
noticed. One time there was a drought and someone had water. He knew that if he came out,
people would stampede to come sit with him. He wrapped himself up to get water. When he
came home, he was sweating and tired and said, “This is life!” He didn’t want people to clear
the way for him, but he wanted to struggle just like everyone else.
Ibn Qudāmah quotes a ḥadīth from Zayd b. Thābit: “If we were in the company of the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and we talked about dunya, he would talk about dunya. If we talked
about ākhirah, he would talk about ākhirah too. If we talked about food, he would talk about
food too.” (Bukhāri) He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was at the level of the people.
‘Abdullāh b. Ḥārith said, “If you walked into a gathering, you would not be able to distinguish
him by his clothes.” He did not love to have prestige.
Showing off is the manifestation of the person having a love for prestige. Riyā’ is the only
thing a person who is not a disbeliever gets threatened for in Juz’ Amma. Allāh warns the
people that pray and are forgetful and show off (Sūrat’l-Mā‘ūn).
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) called riyā’ the hidden shirk. He said, “I fear for you most
the hidden shirk, which is riyā’.” You make all of the people into hidden gods. Allāh (subḥānahu
wa ta‘āla) says in a ḥadīth qudsi: “Whoever does an action seeking My approval and seeking
others’ approval, then I abandon him and his shirk.” Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“A person will be brought on the Day of Judgment, and Allāh will tell him, ‘Run to those you
used to show off your deeds to in dunya and see if they have anything to give you today.’” You
turn those people into gods by doing actions seeking their approval.
There are different forms of riyā’. Displaying humility is a form of riyā’. ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu
‘anha) saw a group of men walking slowly, and she asked about them and was told they were
praying qiyām all night. She said, “May Allāh have mercy on ‘Umar. When he walked, he
walked fast. When he hit, he hit hard.” ‘Umar would be up all night in qiyām but he would try
to hide it from people and not show it.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, “To shorten a person’s thawb to a point where it becomes excessive is a
form of showing off.” The word “Ṣūfi” comes from the word meaning wool. Imām al-Ghazāli
spoke against the people who would show off by wearing wool. He condemned those who
wore wool unnecessarily because it was a way of displaying that a person is humble and a
zāhid.
Riyā’ is ḥarām in showing off anything in the religion. To show off matters of dunya: if the
intention is to degrade people, then it is ḥarām. It is makrūh if it gives you a big head. It is
permitted to show others nice things that you have if you don’t have the intention to belittle
or boast. Riyā’ can also be mustaḥab. How is that possible? Ṣadaqah so that you encourage
other people. In da‘wah so that you show a good picture of Islam and show that Islam is
beautiful. If you want to look nice in front of non-Muslims, it is befitting in that regard. Imām
Mālik thought that scholars should dress well so that they are respected in society.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) taught us a du‘ā’ to make: “O Allāh, I seek refuge in you
from committing shirk knowingly, and I ask your forgiveness for doing it unknowingly.”
What if you do things and are praised for it but you are not seeking praise? Mu‘ādh
complained to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that people were saying too many nice
things about him. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A person who does something
for Allāh and is praised by the people, then that is the hastening of Allāh giving glad tidings to
the believer.” When other people praise you without you seeking their praise, it is a good
thing. Why? Because the witness of the people will count on the Day of Judgment as long as
you are not seeking it.
Does riyā’ make my worship completely worthless? Imām Ibn Qudāmah said, “If a person starts
off his act of worship purely seeking the praise of people, then it is worthless and hypocrisy. If
he is fighting with riyā’, he should continue forward with the action.” ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz
was asked, “If I am prostrating in public and Shayṭān comes to me and tells me I am
lengthening my sujūd so that people praise me, what do it do?” He said, “Fight your Shayṭān
and lengthen your sujūd even more. Seek refuge in Allāh from doing it for other people’s
sake.” If you feel the love of praise afterwards, then you simply fight it. Every time someone
tells you how good you are, you tell yourself how terrible you are. Try to fight yourself and
look for the recognition of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
The Muslims were fighting the Romans and had a wall that was serving as a fort. The siege
went on for months. One night, one of the Muslim soldiers went to General Maslamah and
otld him of a hole that he had made through the wall, and he said that it is only large enough
for a slim soldier. He asked for someone to be sent who can go through the hole and open the
gates from the other side so they could enter. General Maslamah sent out the news asking for
someone, and someone volunteered and the when the gate was opened, the Muslims won the
battle. After the battle, General Maslamah called out and asked who went through the hole to
open the gate for the believers. He did this for three days, and on the fourth day, a man came
with his face wrapped up and said, “I know who the person was who entered into the hole.” He
asked, “Tell me who it is.” The man said, “I will tell you on three conditions: you don’t pay
him for what he did, you don’t tell anyone what he did, and you don’t ask him to come out
again. I was the one who did it.” He made du‘ā’ after that, “Grant me the companionship of the
soldier of the hole on the Day of Judgment.”
On a more practical level, we have examples of how the scholars acted in their daily lives.
Muḥammad b. Wasi‘ would wake up and pray qiyām without waking his wife and then would go
to his bed and wake up his wife to pray qiyām so they could pray together.
Dāwūd b. Abi Hend fasted for 40 years without his wife knowing. He would take the food and
give it in ṣadaqah and then come home and eat with his family.
There were some people from the ṣāliḥīn who would cry at night on one side of the pillow, and
the person sleeping next to them would not find out until they found the other side of the
pillow wet.
Sa‘īd b. Jubayr was telling people, “Which one of you saw the shooting star last night?” People
thought that it must have meant he was up praying qiyām’l-layl, and he said, “As for me, I was
stung by a bee which is why I was awake.”
Scholars said about ‘Ali b. Ḥusayn that people would get their livelihood in Madīnah until the
day he passed away. He would leave food and water on their doorsteps without ever being
caught.
Try to find the things that you can do privately. Charity and ṣalāh. Do things that no one
knows about, not even your spouse. This can be the thing that saves you. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “I saw someone in Jannah who removed something harmful from the
road.” It was an act of love between him and Allāh where no one else can see.
Action Item:
Every week give yourself one secret action

that you will do, which no one else knows about.
Hide it from your spouse, children and parents.

The sweetness of it is more than when people praise you.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reported that Abu Bakr asked, “O Messenger of Allāh! Teach
me some words so that I may recite them in the morning and in the evening.” The Messenger
of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Recite these words:
Allāhumma fāṭiras-samāwāti wal-arḍi, ‘ālimal-ghaybi wash-shahādati, Rabba kulli shay’in wamālīkahu.

Ash-hadu an lā ilāha illā Anta, a‘ūdhu bika min sharri nafsi, washarrish- Shayṭāni washirkihi.
(O Allāh! Creator of the heavens and the earth! Knower of the hidden and the exposed! Rabb of
everything and every one! I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped but You. I
seek Your Protection from the evil of my own self from the evil of Satan and from the evil of
shirk to which he calls.)”
The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) added: “Recite these words in the morning
and the evening and when you go to bed.” (Abu Dāwūd and al- Tirmidhi)
 Five Forms of Riyā’

1. Riyā’ through physical appearance
2. Riyā’ through physical actions
3. Riyā’ through words
4. Riyā’ through deeds
5. Riyā’ through connections
 The Degrees of Riyā’

1. Forming the intention originally to only commit a deed for people to see
2. He seeks a reward, but is so absorbed with riyā’ that he wouldn’t do that deed alone
3. Encouraged by people’s praise but does not neglect worship

4. A person is always at the same level but loves that others see his actions
5. A person hides the act but expects people to treat him well and honor him for his
goodness
 Does riyā’ completely make my worship worthless?
 Three Signs of Riyā’

1. To love the pleasure produced by being praised
2. To flee from the pain caused by being dispraised
3. To look greedily at what other people possess
…They do not fear the blame of a critic. That is the favor of Allāh ; He bestows it upon whom
He wills. And Allāh is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (al-Mā’idah: 54)
Self-Deceit / al-Ghurūr
Al-Ghurūr means self-deceit. Al-ujb means to be conceited.
Say, [O Muḥammad], “Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?
[They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in
work.” (al-Kahf: 103-104)
These are people who don’t recognize that they have a problem. It is a person who doesn’t
recognize that he is sick and falling. Imām ibn al-Qayyim said, “If you were to sleep all night
and not wake up for a single rakʿah and feel bad about that, then it is more beloved to Allāh
than praying all night and being proud of it.” Al-‘udj is doing good and feeling good about it.
You become satisfied and content so that you don’t do anything anymore.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), “If you were not to sin, I would fear something greater
than sin: al-‘udj (to feel content, satisfied).”
Al-Fuḍayl b. ‘Iyāḍ said, “If Iblīs conquers the son of Ādam with one of three [things], he says, ‘I
will not seek anything from him (I never have to do anything with him again)’ 1) Being fond
of himself, 2) making him think his deeds are plentiful, and 3) forgetfulness of his sins.”
Always belittle yourself spiritually. To fight riyā’ and pride, you have to do things. To fight
‘udj, you have to think to yourself how terrible you are. ‘Ubaydah b. al-Ṣāmit used to say, “I
seek refuge in Allāh from being great in my own sight and being very little in the sight of
Allāh.” When Shayṭān tells you that you are doing good and makes you feel proud, he knows
that you will not progress anymore. You are satisfied with yourself.
Ibn Qudāmah said, “Ikhlāṣ is to save yourself from the people’s sight. If a person abandons the
action, then he falls into a greater riyā’. Ṣidq (truthfulness) is to save yourself from yourself.”
For example, let’s say you won’t do the work anymore and abandon the action to work on
yourself, then it is a greater riyā’. Let’s say you manage to fight riyā’ and do things for the sake
of Allāh, so people telling you how great you are doesn’t bother you anymore. Then Shayṭān
has you telling yourself that you are doing good and progressing and are doing it fisabīlillāh.
You save yourself from people in ikhlāṣ. The ṣidq is to save yourself from ‘udj and to save
yourself from yourself. Consistently feel little and like you are not doing enough.
Ibn Taymiyyah said, “A sin that brings you back to Allāh is more beloved to Him than a good
deed that takes you away.” Sometimes your prayer or reading Qur’ān causes you to be content
and satisfied and a sin may bring you back to Allāh.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “Do not think highly of yourself because of your surroundings in Jannah.
Ādam (‘alayhi’l-salām) was in Jannah and we all know what happened with that. Do not think
highly of yourself because you are a worshipper. Iblīs was the greatest of worshippers to the
point where he could accompany the angels and we all know what happened to him. Do not
think highly of yourself because you are related to righteous people. Abu Lahab was the uncle
of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and we know what happened to him.” Never feel
content with yourself, and never think that you are an amazing person who is always doing
good.
Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) used to make du‘ā’: “O Allāh, forgive me for that which they don’t
know about me and make me better than what they say of me.”
Imām Ibn al-Jawzi would make du‘ā’ to Allāh and one day was crying and said, “O Allāh, I have
10,000 worshippers in front of me crying and calling upon You. Don’t punish me in front of
them so that they don’t say that the One he used to call us to punished him.” He is saying that
he knew how low he was.
 Al-‘Ujb and al-Ghurūr: Self-Conceit and Self-Deception
Satan promises them and arouses desire in them. But Satan does not promise them except
delusion. (al-Nisā’: 120)
 Causes of Self-Deception
- This Worldly Life
- False Wishes and Vain Desires
- The Righteousness of One’s Parents
‫ً كن ابن من شئت واكتسب أدبا‬

‫يغنيك محموده عن النسب‬
‫إن الفتى من يقول هاأنذا‬
‫ليس الفتى من يقول كان أبي‬
You may be the son of anyone at all, but acquire integrity,

Its virtue will enrich you, leaving no need for a noble pedigree.
The real man is the one who says, “Here I am!”
The one who says, “My father was,” is not the man.
~ Well-known lines of Arab poetry
- Delving so deep into study, especially the amazing and unusual of it, no matter how
useless, and forgetting about acting upon one’s acquired knowledge
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “On the Day of Judgment, the most grievous
torment will be inflicted upon a scholar whose knowledge was of no avail.” (al-Ṭabarāni)
- Using the short-comings in the behavior of the seemingly “righteous” as an excuse to not
improve oneself???
 Categories of those Afflicted by Self-Deception
- The Scholars
He pays so much attention to what other people say about him. People tell him how good
he is, and he forgets himself.
- The Worshipers
He focuses on dhikr. Imām Ibn Qudāmah says, “He will focus on Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla)
and not abandoning sin and do the actions that will only make him good.” There is a new
statement people say that they are spiritual and not religious. Spirituality is one of the
greatest disguises for a person disobeying Allāh and wronging himself. He says he will just
do a lot of good things and won’t have to abandon the evil things.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “As for good deeds, both a righteous person and a sinner is
capable of doing good deeds, but no one will be able to abandon sin except for one who is
truthful to Allāh and his faith.” Abandoning sin is harder than doing good deeds. A person
will worship and worship and feel like he doesn’t need to take care of his sins. There are
people who like to do good things because of the good feelings they get from the act itself.
People who don’t believe in God are willing to do so many good things because of the
feeling they get from doing the action.
Abandoning sin is much harder. The worshipper allows his spirituality to be his disguise
from his sins. He only worries about doing more good deeds and not his sins.
Abu Ayyūb al-anṣāri said, “A person may do a good deed and rely on it and forget his sins
and will meet Allāh with his sins surrounding him. On the other hand, a man may commit
a sin and never stop fearing the consequences of the sins until he meets Allāh safe and
sound.” Abandoning sins is greater than doing acts of worship.
- The Ascetics
Al-Ghazāli said there will be a people claiming exemption and secret knowledge. They will
say they have reached a point of being an ‘awliyah and that they have secret knowledge.
Some even have chains where they say Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told Abu Bakr
something in a cave and my shaykh heard it from his shaykh.
‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz commanded the scholars to teach publicly because he said if they
taught privately, then people will claim they have secret knowledge. A person who is an
ascetic and thinks he has secret qualities and thinks he is exempt from the punishment of
Allāh.
- The Rich
They spend a lot in charity and think that it absolves them of living according to the
Sunnah. This is very true in modern day America in our masājid. This person is deceived.
They don’t become exempt from the rest of the Sharī‘ah just because they give.
Imām Ibn al-Jawzi used to tell his students, “If you don’t find me in Jannah when you get there,
ask about me and say, ‘O Allāh, your slave so-and-so used to remind us of You.’”
Reflect:
al-Baqarah: 17 “Their example is that one who kindled a fire, but when it illuminated what
was around him, Allāh took away their light and left them in darkness [so] they could not
see.”
If you think you aren’t a hypocrite, then you are the greatest hypocrite in the world. ‘Ā’ishah
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) was asked when a person is pious and said, “When a person thinks he is a
hypocrite.” She was then asked when is a person a hypocrite, and she said, “When a person
thinks he is pious.” If you think that you have escaped from hypocrisy, then you are a
hypocrite.
Allāh says, “The example is that of one who kindles a fire. Whenever Allāh took away the light
around them, they are left in complete darkness and cannot see.” (al-Baqarah: 17)
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “The hypocrite benefits from the light of religion in this world.
People think he is religious and he gains status and reputation amongst the people. If he is not
true to Allāh, then Allāh takes away the light. On the Day of Judgment he is left with complete
darkness because the light was not kindled on the inside.” The light was not internal; it was
just external. It was a show for people.
Reflect on this: In Sūrat’l-Ḥadīd, Allāh says on the Day of Judgment, the hypocrites will call out
to the believers, “Give us some of the light that you have.” The light was on the inside, and on
the Day of Judgment, the light Allāh put in their hearts is shining and they can walk through
the ṣirāṭ. Allāh left the hypocrites in darkness and says, “The hypocrites are left behind a wall
between them and the true believers who had light in their hearts. They will call out to them,
‘Can’t we be with you?’ They said, ‘No, because you tested yourself and had doubts and were
deluded by your desires and the chief deceiver (Shayṭān) deceived you. Now you will not be
able to pay anything to get out of this. No compensation will be taken from you and nor from
those who disbelieve.’” This means that you had a chance to kindle this light on the inside in
your heart. The goal was to kindle it inside.
On the Day of Judgment, the only people who have light are those who have it internally and
are working on themselves and develop a love for Allāh. They have the true knowledge of the
heart. Seriously ask yourself the question: which side of the wall will you be on? Either you
will be on the side of those with no light or with those who have light, the sincere. The
difference between the hypocrite and the believer is that the believer kindled the love inside
for Allāh.
YouTube Video:
Surah Al Hadid – Salman Al Utaybi (very powerful!)
 Treatment for Self-Deception

- Realizing the Reality of Matters
- Knowing Oneself and One’s Lord
- Knowing this Worldly Life and the Hereafter
- Knowing the Path to Allāh and How to Overcome Obstacles
Envy / al-Ḥasad
It is problematic to translate some terms from Arabic and English. Ḥasad is translated as envy
or extreme jealousy. In English, jealousy always has a negative connotation and is not good.
For example, when talking about the marital relationships and saying that the woman should
obey the man, obedience is different from ṭa‘a, which has a component of obedience and
following. There is a wide spectrum.
Ghīrah, which is the closest equivalent to “jealousy” in Arabic, doesn’t always have a negative
connotation. In fact, it usually has a positive connotation and means honor. When we talk
about jealousy or envy, we start talking about jealousy because people mix the two. You can
be jealous for something or jealous of something. To be jealous for something is good. To be
jealous of something equals ḥasad and envy.
To be jealous for:
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was once approached by the ṣaḥābah. Sa‘d b. Ubādah
said, “If I ever catch my wife committing zina, I would kill her with the sharpest part of the
sword and him.” The ṣaḥābah told the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that what he is
saying is too much. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Are you amazed by the
ghīrah of Sa‘d? Wallāhi, I have more ghīrah than Sa’d. And Allāh has more ghīrah than me.”
What does this mean? Ghīrah means honor. If you look at the ghīrah of a Muslim, if the Muslim
has no protection in this world and there is no one to take care of them and feel honor for
them, then Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has ghīrah for them. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) takes up
for the person who does not have a protector. Allāh feels the honor of the Muslim. It isn’t just
ghīrah in the sense of zina or adultery, but it is for the person in al-Shām who has no protector.
Just because there is no human protector who feels offended because the person is being
killed, Allāh has more honor / ghīrah for that person.
It is good for a husband to have ghīrah for his wife and the wife to have ghīrah for the husband.
It is good for the father to have ghīrah for the daughter and the mother to have ghīrah for the
son. It is good as long as it doesn’t lead you to accuse a person.
‘Ali (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) was extremely jealous for Fāṭimah. He loved her so much and was so
protective of her. One day he was sitting with Fāṭimah, and she is using the siwāk. ‘Ali
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) gets offended. He starts to talk to the siwāk. He says, “Do you dare to go in
her mouth, O branch of ‘araq? I see you. Didn’t you fear, O branch of the ‘araq, that I would see
you? If you were someone that could be killed, I would kill you. No one has ever beaten me, O
siwāk, siwāk (other than you).” ‘Ali (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) was expressing his love for Fāṭimah that
nothing should ever touch her for how much he loves her.
There are no narrations in which ‘Ali accuses Fāṭimah of looking too much at a man or talking
too much. He just loved her. It was honor, protection, and dignity. This is good. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Someone who has no ghīrah will not enter Paradise.” This
refers to someone with no honor – someone who doesn’t mind his spouse being flirtatious,
promiscuous.
The culture of “peep my wife” is that the husband and wife sit on the stage during the wedding
in front of everyone, and everyone takes a picture of them and then posts it on Facebook. This
is disgusting. Don’t you feel any sense of shame and honor? Today it is normal for this to
happen. Husbands want people to know their wives are beautiful and for them to wear tight
clothes. They want to show off their spouses. Even women want to show off their handsome
husbands. When we don’t feel a sense of shame or honor for your husband or wife, then there
is a problem.
“Jealous for” is a good thing. “Jealous of” is when you have a problem. To be jealous of
someone and want something that someone else has is where the problem comes in. This falls
under the category of ḥasad.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Beware
of envy because envy consumes (destroys) the virtues just as the fire consumes the firewood,”
or he said “grass.” (Abu Dāwūd)
The root cause of envy is loving the world too much. Why else would you be envious of other
people if you didn’t love the world too much? The head of every single destructive pattern or
behavior is that someone loves dunya too much. Ibn Sirīn said, “I have never envied anyone
for anything related to this worldly life because if he is a good person, how can I envy him of
something if he is going to Jannah anyway? If he is a person of Hellfire, how can I envy him of
something if he will end up in Hellfire?”
 Permissible Types of Envy
Narrated Ibn Mas‘ūd; I heard the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saying, “There is no envy
except in two: a person whom Allāh has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a
person whom Allāh has given wisdom (i.e. religious knowledge) and he gives his decisions
accordingly and teaches it to the others.” (al-Bukhāri)
The permissible types of envy are the one to whom Allāh gave knowledge and he teaches it and
the one to whom Allāh gave money and he spends it in the cause of Allāh. You don’t want
anyone to surpass you in good deeds, so you want to compete with the person to do more good
deeds. You don’t envy them for purposes of dunya. You envy them for their status in ākhirah
because you want to have that same amount of good deeds.
The poor ṣaḥābah came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, the
rich companions have taken all of the reward. They pray like we pray and fast like we fast.
They have money and can spend it for the sake of Allāh, and we don’t have any money.” The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said “Hasn’t Allāh given you something that you can give
charity with? Every tasbīḥ is a ṣadaqah.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) taught them
to say subḥānAllāh, alḥamdulillāh, Allāhu akbar after the ṣalāh. The poor ṣaḥābah came back
complaining, “The rich ṣaḥābah found out about the tasbīḥ and are doing that too.” The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) smiled and said, “That is the bounty of Allāh, and He gives
it to whom He wills.” If a person is given all of the wealth and it doesn’t distract him and he
spends it for the ākhirah, then he is a person you should envy. This is an envy that stirs up
healthy competition and not an envy that harms them.
We all naturally have a love for competition. Ibn Sirīn said, “Had the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) not specified the permissible types of envy, we would have been in a lot of trouble
because we all like to compete.” Some people are superficial and will compete with gold.
In Palestinian culture, there is a jāhiliyy tradition in the wedding of dressing the woman with
the gold purchased for her. Then they complain that someone put ‘ayn on her. They shouldn’t
show it off to people. This tradition is from the tradition of jāhiliyyah. The Quraysh would
dress the woman with the gold purchased for her.
Ibn Sirīn said, “By the Mercy of Allāh, Allāh recognizes our instincts and impulses, and He
always provides for us a way.” For example, we all want fame and praise, but we direct the
love for praise to want the praise of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). Likewise, for our love of
competition, we want to compete in good deeds. When we see others doing more good deeds,
it makes us feel like we are falling short.
Look at the higher examples and try to emulate them without wanting any harm for them.
You envy it because you see it as a means of coming closer to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). You
envy the goal of pleasing Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
Muslims have a problem of thinking they cannot ascend without putting others down.
Organizations don’t succeed because we put others down. There are ‘ulemā’ who helped each
other, and they were more successful in the past and present. Those who put down others just
because they get famous never get anywhere. Love good for each other, but at the same time,
you want to be doing the most good.
‘Umar loved Abu Bakr so much and hated to displease him, but at the same time, he wanted to
beat Abu Bakr just one time and give the most charity. He saw the good deed and he wanted to
please Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). Abu Bakr said, “If I have one foot in Jannah, I’m not satisfied
until the other foot gets in.” ‘Umar cried and said, “I wish I could be just a hair on the chest of
Abu Bakr.” He said this because of how great he saw Abu Bakr to be. They envy the goal and
not the means.
 Main Causes of Envy

And they said, “Why was this Qur'ān not sent down upon a great man from [one of] the two
cities?” (al-Zukhruf: 31)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was an orphan who was poor. When a person starts to
desire things, and the root cause is his love for dunya, then it causes him to wish evil for the
other person and this is ḥasad (envy).
“Is it these whom Allāh has favored among us?” (al-An‘ām: 53)
- Self-pride
Feeling like no one deserves to have that except for you. Ḥasad is a direct manifestation of
kibr. “Why did he/she get it, and why didn’t I get it?”
- Competition
Specifically: misguided competition. Competition for materialistic and worldly things.
Our cultures encourage competition in an inappropriate manner. For example, the mahar
has become a way of selling your daughter. People compete to have weddings in better
and better hotels. One brother was going to give a $150K mahar, so his parents sold their
land overseas, and this brother died a few weeks before the wedding. Even with death
people compete. People make marble tombstones and the next person does the marble
and writes Sūrat’l-Fātiḥah on it, and then the next person makes the marble higher. We
have a serious problem with competition inside of us.
- Enmity
Hating someone and not wishing good for a person. This is from the worst of conditions to
have. As much as his enemies did to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), he never
wished evil for them. Why waste your time wishing evil for another person? If he is a
person of Hellfire, Allāh may be testing them and increasing their punishment. Leave
other people alone. Don’t wish bad for other people because it will come back to you.
- Wickedness
This is a very Satanic thing. There is not necessarily a personal grudge, but you don’t like
for people to be in good at all.
 How to Remedy Envy
- Consider your priorities

Prioritize ākhirah over dunya and then you will not worry about the ḥarām types of envy.
- Ignore comparisons
Comparisons are destructive and naturally stir the go of people. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) didn’t allow the father of Nu‘mān to give him a gift without giving a
similar gift to his other siblings. This naturally stirs up enmity. Don’t do it with your
children or people in the community, especially not in front of them. This is why people
start hating each other. Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Make du‘ā’ for the person

This is the most effective way to get rid of ḥasad. Force yourself to make du‘ā’ for the good
of the person. Saying “māshā’Allāh” is a du‘ā’ for the person. Many times we only do it with
our tongues and not with our hearts. Make du‘ā’ for Allāh to maintain the blessing on that
person.
- Remember that Allāh is the Provider

Shayṭān will come to you and tell you: “Why did Allāh put you in this situation? He didn’t
put the other person in that situation and that person is not as good as you.” Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says in the Qurʾān something very powerful:
Do they allot the portions of their Lord? It is We who have apportioned among them their
livelihood in the life of this world… (al-Zukhruf: 32)
Allāh has a plan for each person individually. Allāh is the Provider of all.
Ibn Sīrīn said, “I have never envied anyone for anything related to this worldly life, because if
he is to be one of the residents of Paradise, how can I envy him for something pertaining to
worldly life while he is going to Paradise? And if he is to be one of the residents of the Fire,
how can I envy him for something pertaining to worldly life while he is going to the Fire!”
 Evil Eye
We blame every misfortune in our lives on ḥasad. Ibn Taymiyyah said, “The vast majority of
evil eye is people playing games with you and some of it is true.” The problem with blaming
everything on ḥasad is that you start thinking about who did it, which leads to suspicion,
enmity, and evil assumption. Don’t do this. Read ruqya on yourself and read the last 3 sūrahs of
the Qurʾān. Imām ibn al-Qayyim said, “(reading last 3 sūrahs of the Qurʾān) along with a person
fulfilling ṣalāh on time and reading Sūrat’l-Baqarah in the house cannot coincide with the evil
eye.”
Keep on reading Qurʾān and exerting force against it and don’t lose hope in yourself. It
becomes an excuse to fail for some people. One sister said she was possessed by a jinn twenty
years ago and it hasn’t let her go, but if there is a jinn inside of her, then she has let him stay
because she is showing despair and hopelessness.
Read Qurʾān on yourself and have your spouse read Qurʾān on you. You don’t have to go to a
shaykh. Did Abu Bakr have people keep coming to him all the time to ask him to read ruqya on
them? Read Qurʾān, pray, and make du‘ā’ to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) and inshā’Allāh you will
be protected from these things. Never allow yourself to think “who did it to me?” because
then you allow yourself to fall into the sin of suspicion.
Anger / al-Ghaḍab
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Restraining your anger (forbearance) is through
practicing forbearance.” You learn forbearance through practice. The same way you learn
knowledge is the same way you learn to control your temper.
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: Allāh’s Apostle said, “The strong is not the one who overcomes the
people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” (al-
Bukhāri)
The word here is not “controls oneself” but “ownership.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) is saying, “the one who owns himself in a period of anger.” When you get angry and
allow yourself to get riled up and the anger to boil over, then you are not in control of yourself
anymore. You are not yourself anymore. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) says he is
able to subdue the anger and keep his senses. Allāh said “those who swallow their anger” and
not “those who don’t have anger.” If anger shows on your face or in your gestures, then it
means you are not restraining your anger.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) admonished the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in Sūrah ‘Abasa
because Ibn Abi Makhtoum, a blind man, came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) while
he had the attention of the leaders of the Quraysh. This blind man was running and kicking up
the dirt and saying, “Teach me from what Allāh has taught you!” He didn’t know that
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was talking to the Quraysh. The Quraysh’s problem was
that they felt they were better than the poor ṣaḥābah. This man comes and yells in this way,
and the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did ‘abasa, which indicates the two lines on your
forehead when you make the slightest frown possible. That is all the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) did at a blind man who didn’t even see him. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) held the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to a standard and told him to not show even those two
lines on his face. You suppress it and swallow it.
The root cause of getting angry is dunya. We don’t understand the concept of humbling
ourselves to people. It is a lack of remembrance of the ākhirah.
 Some Causes of Anger

- Self-admiration
- Inappropriate joking
- Argumentation
- Betrayal
 Remedying a Bad Temper Problem:

1. Learn about the virtues of forgiveness and forbearance
Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant. (al-A‘rāf: 199)
2. Remember the Anger of Allāh
3. Think about the consequences of your temper in this world
4. Always carry an invisible mirror with you to see how you look when your angry
5. Try to identify the causes of your anger
6. Remember that everything that happens is by the will of Allāh
… and who restrain anger and who pardon the people. (āle-‘Imrān: 134)
Abu Hurayrah relates that a man said to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam): “Counsel me.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request
many times, but the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) kept saying: “Do not get angry.” (al-
Bukhāri)
Learning Forbearance
- Allāh is Al-Ḥalīm
- How do I acquire Ḥulm?
- How am I able to gain the attribute of Ḥulm?
- The Example of Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
Anas b. Mālik narrated: “I was walking with the Messenger of Allāh and he was wearing a
mantle of Najrān with a thick border. A rude bedouin met him and pulled the mantle so
violently that I saw this violent pulling had left marks from its border on the skin of the neck
of the Messenger of Allāh. And he (the bedouin) said: Muḥammad! Command that I should be
given out of the wealth of Allāh, which is at your disposal. The Messenger of Allāh turned to
him and smiled, and then he ordered for him a provision.” (al-Bukhāri)
Ibn Qudāmah said, “The person needs to prefer the ākhirah to the dunya and have belief in
Divine Decree.” We need to learn to change our position when angry. Take yourself out of the
heat of the moment. Learn forbearance.
How do we learn forbearance? Belief in qadar and not loving the dunya too much.
A saying: “To hold a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
When you hold a grudge, you have allowed the person trying to make you angry happy
because they know that they have been able to hurt you.
Ibn al-Qayyim said in al-Fawā’id, “When you shield yourself from the arrows of the enemy, not
only are you not harmed by your enemy, but your enemy wasted arrows.”
Once the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Abu Bakr and a group of people
were insulting them. After the third time, Abu Bakr stood up and started arguing back.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) got up and left. Abu Bakr said, “Are you angry with me,
ya Rasūlullāh?” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “An angel came down from heaven and was
rejecting what he had said to you. And when you took revenge, a Shayṭān came down and the
angel left and I didn’t want to be in the presence of a Shayṭān.”
Anas b. Mālik said, “I was walking with the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) while he was
wearing a nice garment. A bedouin pulled it off of him and left marks on his neck. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) turned to him and smiled and gave him more.” (Bukhāri)
Whenever the Jews of Madīnah would say salām to him, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
would say “wa ‘alaykum.” According to most scholars including Imām ‘Uthaymīn, you should
give a Christian or Jew the exact same greeting back to him. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says in
the Qurʾān that if you are given a greeting, then respond to it equal or greater. The reason the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said this is because the Jews of Madīnah would say “al-sām
‘alaykum,” which means “may the curse of Allāh be upon you.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was walking with ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) and
someone said, “al-sām ‘alaykum,” and ‘Ā’ishah said, “May the curse of Allāh be upon you and His
damnation and anger.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told her to calm down and
that Allāh did not send them with this. She said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, did you hear what they said?”
He said, “Yes. And did you hear how I responded? Allāh loves gentleness with all matters.”
Ibn al-Qayyim said that when we see an Attribute of Allāh that is not exclusive to Him, then we
should try to reflect it. For example, we can’t be Al-Raḥmān, but we can have raḥmah. Allāh is
Al-Ḥalīm (Forbearing). Imagine if Allāh punishes us immediately when we do a sin. Instead,
Allāh is Forbearing and not only does He not take us right away, but He calls us to tawbah and
repentance and mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“Whenever a person sins, Allāh orders the angels to wait for six hours before writing down the
sin.” The person may make istighfār for it right away and it won’t be written down against you,
and some scholars say that this is what it means in the ḥadīth where the man tells Allāh that
there are sins that weren’t written. “The one who repents from a sin is like the one who never
sinned in the first place.” Allāh is Al-Ḥalīm. Allāh does not hold any grudges against us and is
Just with us.
 The Example of Ibrāhīm (‘alayhi’l-salām)
Indeed, Abraham was forbearing, grieving and [frequently] returning [to Allāh]. (Hūd: 75)
Allāh says about Ibrāhīm in Sūrah Hūd v. 75: “Verily Ibrāhīm was ḥalīm (forbearing) but he was
grieving at the same time.” He always turned to Allāh and grieved only to Allāh (subḥānahu wa
ta‘āla). To be a person who is forbearing, you have to have a relationship with Allāh where you
turn to Him and complain to Him. “O Allāh, I have withheld my anger in hopes that You
withhold Your anger with me.” Call upon Allāh by means of your good deeds. In the story of
the three men in the cave, they invoke Allāh with the good deed they did and said that they
did this only for Allāh.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) never increases a
servant in forgiveness except that He increases him in glory.”
 Practical Measures
1. Say “a‘ūdhu billāhi min al-shayṭān’l-rajīm.” Don’t let the Shayṭān get in the driver’s seat.
When the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saw someone angry one time, he didn’t
tell him to say the isti‘ādhah because he knew that sometimes the worst thing to do is
remind them while angry. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told the other
ṣaḥābah, “I know a word that if he would say it, it would do away with his anger: ‘a‘ūdhu
billāhi min al-shayṭān’l-rajīm’.”
2. Changing position
This is so rarely practiced, but make it an action item. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “If you are angry and standing up, then sit down. If you are still angry
while sitting, then lay down.” This withdraws you from acting on the emotion.
3. Make wuḍū’
If you do this, you will not have the same amount of anger. There is scientific proof.
When you are angry, you heat up physically, and when you put cold water on you, then
you calm down.
All of this serves one purpose: do not act while you are angry.
Action item: if you are upset and want to send an e-mail, then do not send it the same day.
Write the e-mail and save it as a draft and come back 24 hours later and then see if you still feel
like sending the e-mail. You will definitely change some of the e-mail because when we are
angry, Shayṭān makes us bolder.
If there is no human interaction, then you are more likely to be bold. People are bolder over
the phone than in person. The internet makes us have split personalities. Someone will be so
sweet and nice in person and then write an e-mail that doesn’t seem like him. Shayṭān
emboldens the one writing the e-mail / text message, and the person reading the e-mail
imagines it in the worst situation. Marriages and masājid are destroyed because people are
writing e-mails.
 The True Meaning of Forgiving Others and Not Holding Grudges
…but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allāh. (al-Shūra: 40)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “… and Allāh does not increase a servant (of His),
as a result of his forgiveness, except in glory.” (al-Tirmidhi)
Understand how beloved al-ḥulm is to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to al-Ashajj b. ‘Abd’l-Qays: “You have two qualities
that Allāh the Almighty loves: forbearance and patience.” (Muslim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went to him and said, “You have two qualities that
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) loves: al-ḥulm and al-anā’ (taking your time making sure things are
in order, not being hasty).”
A group of people said they knew how to get Aḥmad b. ‘Abd’l-Qays angry because he loved his
mom a lot. They sent someone who said, “I want to marry your mother.” Aḥmad ibn ‘Abd’l-
Qays said, “Jazākallāhu khayran for your interest, but you are a young man and have your whole
life in front of you, but my mother is old. By the way, tell your companions you were not able
to make me angry!”
The only permissible type of anger is to get angry for Allāh. Anas said, “The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) never became angry for himself. If the boundaries of Allāh were crossed, then
he would become angry for Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).” If you are angry, ask yourself why you
are angry. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did get angry but only when the boundaries
of Allāh are crossed.
Even if your anger is for Allāh, you have to channel it in the right way. Channel your anger in
the proper way. Even when the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) got angry for Allāh, he did
not allow it to control him. Repel evil with that which is better.
Tangent: We’ve turned the masjid into a hospital that doesn’t accept sick people. Talk to
people with gentleness and good manners. Support people against their Shayṭān. Tell them to
overcome in the right way and recognize where they are at. Lecture people according to their
level.
While ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz was the khalīfah, he tripped over someone, and the man said, “Are
you majnūn (crazy)?” ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Azīz said, “No,” and kept walking. The guards went to
the man and were going to take care of him, and ‘Umar said to the guards, “What are you
doing? He asked a question, and I answered his question.”
Ibrāhīm b. Adham was asked by a non-Muslim, “Is the dog more najas than your beard?” He
said, “If my beard has some najāsah in it, and the dog did not have any saliva, then my beard is
more najas. If my beard is pure, then my beard is more pure than the dog.” The man said,
“Wallāhi, this is the character of the prophets.” He was impressed. He tried to anger him.
Abu Dharr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) told a servant to bring a sheep, and he brought the sheep but
broke the sheep’s leg. He asked, “Why did you do that?” The servant said, “I did it to make
you mad.” Abu Dharr said, “I’m going to anger the one who told you to make me mad [the
Shayṭān] and let you go free.”
Some of the scholars said in one narration the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “a‘ūdhu
billāhi Al-Samī‘ wa’l-‘Alīm min al-shayṭān’l-rajīm.”
Look in the mirror whenever you are angry and you will be disgusted with yourself. Do things
that physically and spiritually calm you down.
Greed and Miserliness
Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up
sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment
of worldly life, but Allāh has with Him the best return. (āle-‘Imrān: 14)
The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The likeness of this worldly life in the
Hereafter is as the likeness of what any of you (gets when he) puts his finger into the sea; so let
him see that which he gets!” (al-Bukhāri & Muslim)
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reported: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “May he
be miserable, the worshipper of the dīnār and dirham, and the worshipper of the striped silk
cloak. If he is given anything, he is satisfied; but if not, he is unsatisfied.” (al-Bukhāri)
This means that his happiness is all about how his financial situation is. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If the son of Ādam was to be given a valley of gold, then he would seek
with it another valley of gold. If he has two valleys of gold, then he would want another.
Nothing would satisfy him except for the dirt in his mouth.”
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) teaches us some important lessons. There is a difference between
having blessing in something and having something. In Sūrat’l-An‘ām, Allāh says, “Whenever
they forgot that which they are reminded of [i.e. Allāh sent them hardship, a test to wake them
up but they did not wake up] We open for them the doors of all good [in the sense of dunya].
We gave it all to them until they became pleased with what they had. We snatched it suddenly
and they are left in utter despair.” The dunya was a punishment for them. Sometimes Allāh
punishes a person with dunya. Having a lot is the greatest punishment for you if you are not
grateful because you hang your hopes on dunya.
Shaykh Hatem said, “If you don’t have expectations of the dunya, you will never be
disappointed.” When you hang your hopes on something, it is a punishment on you. Do not be
fascinated by money, children, and accomplishments. It may look like they have a picture
perfect life, but Allāh may be punishing them. If you have a lot and put your expectations on
it, then you will never be satisfied and will always want more and you will realize all that you
were working and toiling for was not all that it was made to be. You’ll always feel like you
don’t have enough.
‘Aṭa said, “To be tested with wealth is more hard and more severe than to be tested with
poverty and hardship.” When you are tested with wealth, sometimes you don’t realize that
you are being tested. We are all in a situation because we deserve to be in the situation.
‘Aṭa said, “There are three benefits to remembering death. You are satisfied with little. You
hasten to repent. You do not compete with the people of dunya over their dunya (you feel
satisfied).” It can be a true punishment when you are attached and feel grief and feel a sense
of entitlement to the good in your life.
In Sūrat’l-A‘rāf, Allāh says, “And if only the people would have believed and had faith, We would
have opened the barakāt (blessings) of the heavens and the earth.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) used to say, “And make my house expansive.” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
chose to live in an apartment so small that he had to ask ‘Ā’ishah to move his legs so he could
pray qiyām. ‘Umar saw that his bed made marks on his back and cried. He said, “I have seen
the palaces of Rome and Caesar and you are more deserving of it.” Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Aren’t you pleased that this world belongs to them and for us is the
Hereafter?” When he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “And make my home expansive,” he was
asking Allāh to make him feel that his house is expansive. He was asking for barakah in what
he had. Some people are given very little and are satisfied and content, and another is given
ten times that and is not content.
If you pick up your child from school and your son throws the books at you and slams the door
too hard, you would be very upset with your child, and it could ruin your day. We are so
superficial these days. If our cell phones break, we have a terrible day and we are unhappy and
not content. If your car scratches, you will yell at your son. Pretend: let’s say that when you
picked up your son, he scratched the car door and on the way home you are in a car accident
and he doesn’t survive. At that point you care nothing about the car. You only care about the
child. Allāh gave something of value to you but you don’t recognize it.
Start to see what you have as a lot even if it is a little, and don’t feel entitled. Allāh grants you
the wealth of the heart. Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “The greedy in this world are the people
whose poverty goes unrewarded.” Their poverty and deprivation on the inside goes
unrewarded.
When you see a beggar and give him money, think that this is how Allāh meant for him to get
his rizq. When Sufyān al-Thawri would see a beggar, he would say, “Welcome to the one who
has come to wash my sins.” Al-Fuḍayl b. ‘Iyāḍ said, “Beggars are such good people. They carry
our provisions to the afterlife without payment until they place it on the scale in front of
Allāh.” Begging is not something praised in Islam. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“The high hand is better than the low hand. The upper hand is the one that gives and the
lower hand is the one that receives.” If you create a society where people understand the
obligation upon them, then people don’t need to beg. During the time of ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Aziz,
they couldn’t find anyone to give zakāh to. At that time, the society was balanced. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said that this will happen two times in history: when ‘Īsa
comes down and one time before that.
Be satisfied with your situation and ask Allāh for barakah in what He gave you. Ask to have
more in less. See it as a lot even though it may be little.
There is a story of a man and woman from the children of Isrā’īl. They were wealthy. As they
were cooking food one day, a beggar smelled it and knocked on the door. The woman
answered the door, and the beggar asked for some food. The wife then went to check with her
husband, who became loud and angry, and said, “Tell him to go away! We worked and earned
this. This is the working of our hands.” When she went back to the door, he was already gone.
Because of this incident, Allāh caused this man to fall into poverty and they divorced. The
woman was righteous and moved on and was blessed with another husband who was wealthy.
One day they were cooking food and a beggar came and knocked on the door. She opens the
door, and the man said, “I smelled the food. Can you please give me a portion of the food?”
She went to her husband and said, “Give him all of the food because this is what Allāh has
provided for us.” She gave it and came back crying. He said, “Are you crying because we gave
it all away? Allāh will take care of us.” She said to him, “Do you know who the beggar was?
My ex-husband.” He said, “And do you know who I am? I am the first beggar who came to
your house.”
Know that your situation can change. Do not be attached to anyone except Allāh. If you only
feed the greed, it will get worse and you will never be satisfied and you will realize you have
pursued something that isn’t real.
“By Him in Whose Hand is my soul, no servant (of Allāh) truly believes unless he loves for his
brother what he loves for himself.” (al-Bukhāri & Muslim)
Curbing the Desire for Food and Sex
This is very serious and significant. A scholar said, “In order to be disciplined in anything, you
have to be disciplined in everything.” It does have an effect.
Take care of desiring food and sex too much. You are supposed to desire them, but channel
them in the right way. Ibn Taymiyyah said, “Not a single person from the time of the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to my time (~600 years) was ever stoned for committing adultery.”
In order to have that crime, you have to be married and have four trustworthy witnesses at the
same time see everything. Ibn Taymiyyah said, “If a few people saw two people committing
zina, he is supposed to close his eyes and walk away (not get more people).” It worked because
no one ever did it.
The beauty of the Islamic state was that it provides the checks so people don’t feel the need to
do these things. Youth are married at a young age, and if they can’t support themselves, the
community helps them even if it is with zakāh money. Why do we have so much zina in our
communities? We have made it so hard to do ḥalāl and so easy to do ḥarām.
To curb the appetite for intimacy, Allāh made marriage highly recommended, and it is
mandatory if you fear for yourself. There is a reward in being intimate with your spouse. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “There is a reward for being intimate for your
spouse…If you did it in a ḥarām way, wouldn’t you be punished?” There is no concept of
celibacy in Islam.
‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd said, “If I had ten days left to live and I knew I would die at the end of them
and if I had time to get married, I would still get married.”
In the books of tazkiyah, it is condemned to overeat. Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “One of the
worst desires a person can have is excess in food. This is what got Ādam out of Paradise in the
first place, and this is what stimulates the desire for wealth and it also stimulates the desire for
intimacy.” Ibn Qudāmah said that people who have a larger appetite for food have a larger
sexual appetite. A person should not eat in excess.
Ibn ‘Umar reported Allāh’s Messenger (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) as saying that a non-Muslim
eats in seven intestines whereas a Muslim eats in one intestine. (Muslim)
The context of this ḥadīth: There was a man who was not Muslim who drank milk from seven
different animals because he wasn’t getting full. The next day he became Muslim and only
drank one cup of milk and was satisfied. This is what the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
was talking about. Imām al-Nawawi explains this ḥadīth and says: “Whenever you are focused
on the hereafter, you naturally become somewhat distracted from the dunya.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The son of Ādam has not filled a worse vessel
than the stomach. It is enough for him to eat enough to hold his posture.” This means that
you eat to function. It is okay to enjoy good food, but don’t overeat.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If one must eat, he should leave 1/3rd for food,
1/3rd for drink, and 1/3rd for air.” This is one of the most scientifically accurate aḥadīth. The
gas bubble in the stomach occupies 34% of the stomach. If you infringe on the gas bubble, then
you suffer from indigestion.
If you are gaining weight in Ramaḍān, then something is very, very wrong with your diet!
Imām ibn Qudāmah said, “Being overweight doesn’t mean that you indulge. Being thin does
not make you healthy or mean that you don’t indulge.”
Fill yourself to a point where you are satisfied and function. Ibn Qudāmah said, “You eat too
much so you sleep too much so you worship too little.”
Abu Mūsa al-Ashari was told that he doesn’t eat enough, and he said, “The horses that always
win the race are the lean ones. When you want to train a horse, you feed the horse well. The
next day you barely feed them. The next day you feed them something small but nutritious.”
When you are a baby, you eat like you want to eat, and then you find yourself in moderation
and portions.
If a person is sitting and food is being presented, he should not condemn others or depress
people or tell them that they are overeating. They should be kind to the host and still eat their
portions. Eat in moderation. If you are healthy physically, watch what it does to your
spirituality. When you go for Ḥajj, it counts. When you pray tarāwīḥ, it counts. You will be
used to less in fasting. You can do so much more when you are used to less.
Tip: have watermelon for suḥūr.
One of the greatest problems in our community is pornography. Shayṭān makes them feel so
depressed that they can’t progress in anything in life. A study said that pornography alters
chemicals in the brain the same way a drug does. One of the ways to stay away from it is be
productive. Keep yourself busy. Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Your mind is like a mill. As long as
you put in good grain, the Shayṭān has nowhere to enter.” Allāh has forbidden khalwah.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If a man and a woman who are not related are
alone, then the third is the Shayṭān.” If a person says that he/she doesn’t have these feelings,
then tell them that Allāh addresses by society and the norm.
Ibn Mas‘ūd reported that the Messenger of Allāh said, “Whoever among you can afford to get
married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a restraint (wija)
for him.” (Nisā’i)
The scholars say that if you have feelings for a person, even if there is no khalwah, you should
still avoid that person if you can’t marry him/her.
Khalwah is not just two people being together in a room or car. There is cyber-khalwah like
Gchat. Shayṭān plays with people.
The Wandering Gaze
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Do not follow one look with another look. The
second one is on you and the second one is against you.” This doesn’t mean that you can keep
on staring the first time! It means that you see and then lower your gaze. This means that you
don’t focus on that person.
As long as we do things in moderation, then those types of extremes get rooted out.
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is
purer for them. Indeed, Allāh is Acquainted with what they do. (al-Nūr: 30)
 Imagine being watched
Allāh knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal (Ghāfir: 19)
What is the betrayal of the eyes? ‘Abdullāh b. ʿAbbās explains this verse. He says, “A man is
with a group of people when a woman passes by, and he shows them that he has lowered his
gaze, but when they are not paying attention, he looks.”
 Keep your eyes on the prize
Ibrāhīm b. Adham was asked by a man how to lower his gaze. He told the man that he needed
a bowl of milk delivered to a place. The man delivered it. Ibrāhīm asked him, “Did you see the
house we passed by? Did you see the market you passed by?” The man said, “No.” If your eyes
are on the prize, then you don’t pay attention to what is around you. It may sacrifice your
Jannah, so you lower your gaze. Remember Jannah whenever it happens.
Lowering your gaze applies to sisters as well. Ibn Abi Makhtoum was with Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam), and they were sitting with the wives of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) who were not properly covered. They said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, he is blind.” He said, “Are
you blind too?”
Breaking the Habit of Sin

Ascribe the bad things that happen in your life to sin. Even if they are not from sin, it will
cause you to be more vigilant in rooting out those causes, especially when it comes to your
‘ibādah. Three men complained to al-Ḥusayn. One man said, “We don’t have any rain.” He
said, “Stop sinning.” Another said, “We are not blessed with children.” He said, “Work on
your sins.” The third said, “We are struggling with poverty.” He said, “Work on your sins.” He
was asked why he told this to each of them and said, “Allāh said in the Qurʾān that when Nūḥ
complained to his Lord, Nūḥ said to them, ‘Seek the forgiveness of your Lord. Verily He is the
most forgiving. He would send upon you beneficial rain and give you money and give you
children and grant you gardens and waterfalls.’” There is a direct correlation between sins and
being deprived. Many times being deprived is not a punishment from Allāh.
How do you know if it is punishment or a test? You know by your attitude. If you are grateful
and patient, then you are passing the test. If you are going away from Allāh, then it is a
punishment.
Imām al-Shāfi‘i said, “I complained to Waqi‘ about my memory, so he guided me to stop

sinning. He said the knowledge of Allāh is light and will not be given to a sinner.” Leave the
sin and come back to the path and then start moving forward.
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) covers you the first time. A sāriq is someone who can steal
something of value that is hidden without the owner even knowing about it – a skilled thief. If
you see someone take something, then he is not a sāriq. A sāriq was brought to ‘Umar b. Al-
Khaṭṭāb. When the punishment was going to be taken, he said to ‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb, “This is
my first time!” ‘Umar said, “No it is not. Allāh always covers you up the first time.” After his
hand was cut, the man came to ‘Umar and said, “I have stolen 21 times.” Allāh covers, shelters,
and shields you the first time. He (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) gives you an opportunity to come back
to Him.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Every single action manifests itself through the following process: First
the action is a fatara (passing thought). Then you start to entertain the thought and it becomes
a settled thought. If you entertain the thought long enough, then it becomes niyyah (an
intention) to commit the deed. Then you become determined to do it (‘azīmah). (Once we
make the intention, we have a certain level of determination.) Then it becomes ‘amal (action,
an actual deed). After it manifests itself as an actual deed, it become a habit.” It is then a sin
that defines you and is part of your life.
A sister stopped wearing ḥijāb just to take revenge on her father. The first day she went to the
university without ḥijāb, she felt so uncomfortable that she wore a hoodie. A few weeks later,
she took it off. It became normal. The heart becomes hard and you become desensitized to the
sin and it is no longer a big deal. Imām ibn al-Qayyim said, “The greatest punishment of a sin is
that Allāh allows you to sin again.” You become further desensitized. He said, “The reward of
a good deed is that Allāh allows you to do another good deed and opens the door of good deeds
for you.”
The sooner you can stop it before it manifests itself, the better. If it is a disease like backbiting
or lying, then the more it becomes part of your personality, the harder it will be to root out.
But this cannot be an excuse to not try to get rid of your sin. Ibn Qudāmah said, “It is like a
farmer who sees a tree growing which is harmful and has weeds and then decides to come back
later to take care of it.” What happens with the tree when it grows? It not only grows on the
outside, but the roots grow too. The behavior or flaw becomes more and more established in
your heart. Prevention is always more effective than restoration.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “All children of Ādam are sinners, and the best
sinners are those who repent.” (al-Tirmidhi)
Sufyān al-Thawri said, “Making istighfār is more important than making tasbīḥ.” If you have a
stain on a garment, the priority is to clean the stain and not to accessorize more.
 The Source
1. Where was I when I first committed this sin?

Treat sin the way you would treat any other drug rehab. If you are walking and trip
and fall, the first thing you do is try to figure out what caused you to trip. The most
important aspect of the sin is try to see what the source was. Imām Ibn al-Jawzi gave
this example. Where did it start? How did you develop it in the first place? Was it an
environmental factor?
2. When did I first do it?
3. Did anyone encourage me to commit this sin directly or indirectly?
When society becomes corrupt, then the standards of what is ethical become
completely blurred. Look at your environment and your close friends.
4. What was the primary intended goal of committing the sin?
Whenever you do something, you do it for a reason. You thought the sin was going to
make you happy, which is why you did it in the first place. You were not patient with
Allāh. Ask yourself: what was the intention behind the sin and was the goal achieved?
5. Was that goal achieved?
6. What are some of the possible secondary factors?
Look at what happened and how you became this way.
 The Action
1. Was this sin committed using any tool or medium? (i.e. Facebook, CD Player, Phone,
Business Location)
2. If so, is this tool a necessity in my life?
3. Did I feel any guilt after committing this sin the first time?
How desensitized are you? How did you feel after the first time? Did any friends praise
the sin or encourage you to repeat it?
4. Did any of my friends praise this sin or encourage me to repeat it?
 Post-Sin Feelings
1. How many times did I repeat this action?

2. How often do I put myself in unnecessary contact with an environment conducive to

committing it?
There is a saying in drug rehab: “If you are an alcoholic, then don’t play pool in a bar.”
You are exposing yourself to contact with the bar, and it is inviting you to it.
3. Did anything bad happen to me after the sin (even if unrelated to the act itself)?
Ascribe what happened to the sin itself.
4. Did anyone I was trying to hide the sin from catch me in the act? If so, how did it make
me feel?
Imām al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “If there is a thief who is robbing a house and hears the
doorknob rattle, he will hide. At that moment, he committed a form of shirk because
Allāh was watching him the whole time and he felt no shame. When he thought that
someone may see him, then he felt ashamed of himself.”
How do you feel when people catch you?
5. Did I sacrifice any acts of worship as a result of the sin? (i.e. Listening to music instead
of Qur’ān, going to a party instead of the masjid)
 Game Plan
1. Imagine having to stand in front of Allāh and watch the sin being committed in front
me, then having to explain it.
Let’s say your mother had a hidden camera that recorded you committing the sin and
then made you watch it with her and explain the sin. How much worse is this than her
just having knowledge of it? On the Day of Judgment, you will see it all in replay. You
will have to watch the replay with Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) and answer for it.
2. Imagine having to be burned by a fire for every time I commit the sin.
3. Pray two rak‘ahs and sincerely seek forgiveness from Allāh.
4. Ask Allāh to grant me the strength to deal with the withdrawal symptoms of the sin.
When you leave things, you may become an outcast. You will have withdrawal
symptoms when you leave the sin. The effects are not necessarily a manifestation of
Allāh’s anger on you. Allāh accepted Ādam’s repentance, but Ādam had consequences
for his sin and had to leave Jannah. You will face consequences whenever you withdraw
yourself from these things, but ask Allāh to help you deal with it.
5. Make a commitment to never return to that sin again.
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said, “The one who is truly fearful of Allāh is not the one who cries
and wipes his tears but he is the one who leaves the things that cause him to be fearful
in the first place.”
6. Seek forgiveness from the people I hurt with this sin (if applicable).
7. Designate a self-enforced “punishment” for myself if I do it again to act as a deterrent.
(i.e. soap in mouth/cursing)
Soap in the mouth is one of the most effective ways to deal with cursing. It is a
deterrent. Punish yourself in ways that don’t harm you. It is extremely effective.
8. Give an act of charity or perform extra prayers to make up for the sin.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Follow up your sin with a good deed and it
will wipe it out.” This doesn’t mean you can consistently do the same sin and then
follow it up with a good deed. The ultimate sign of your repentance and turning the
page is doing a good deed after a bad deed. Good deeds do away with the sins. For
tawbah, make two rakʿahs. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) legislated it. Physically
involve yourself in tawbah and make yourself feel involved. Do good deeds to show that
you have turned the page.
9. Eliminate all mediums that could be used to pull me back into the sin. (i.e. delete phone
numbers, deactivate Facebook account, change email address, put up internet firewalls,
break CDs, take TV out of my room, etc.)
Don’t tempt yourself. Don’t leave the means open for temptation.
10. Look for a permissible alternative to my sin (nicotine gum for smokers, sports,
nashīds/na‘ts)
Imām Ibn Qudāmah said, “For a person to do something merely permissible to take him
away from something ḥarām is good and can be rewardable.” Keep active. Keep away
from being idle because that is when Shayṭān has time to work on you.
11. Disassociate either gradually or immediately from the people who either commit the
same sin or encourage me to do so.
This is crucial. If you keep the same company and they commit that sin or have a
behavioral issue, then you will fall back into it. Surround yourself with good company.
12. Surround myself with people who abhor the sin and will help me refocus.
13. Make a pact with someone in a similar situation to leave that sin for good.
14. Keep my eye on the prize! Realize if Allāh doesn’t replace what I’ve lost with something
in this dunya, then He will do so in Jannah, or even both, inshā’Allāh.
Allāh will give you back more than what you have sacrificed. Allāh says, “Whoever is
conscious of Me, I will make a way out for him and grant him from ways that he never
expected.” Allāh will make a way out for you, inshā’Allāh.
Sometimes a person who committed a sin will take extra precautions to root it out and avoid it
and be in a better situation than the one who never had it. Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Shayṭān
thought he defeated Ādam by getting him out of Paradise, but in reality, Allāh raised the status
of Ādam because he learned to make tawbah and drew closer to Allāh. When the diver dives, he
gathers the pearls from the bottom and rises up again.”
You learn the lessons from the sin and become more vigilant. Yaḥya said, “I love to
accompany the repentant – those who used to live a life of sin and then they abandoned it
because their hearts are the softest.” They gathered the lessons and tasted the sweetness of
īmān because they tasted the darkness of ignorance.
When you commit a sin, Shayṭān will make you reckless and try to make you do things you
can’t recover from. He will try to take you to a point of no return. The problem is that many
times we think that if we are guilty of a sin, then “who am I to pray or fast or attend a class?”
Shayṭān tells you while you are doing a sin how terrible you are and that Allāh will not forgive
you and will not have mercy on you. Always leave the door open between you and Allāh.
Abu Bakr, one of the taba tabi‘īn, said, “Once I was traveling to al-Shām with other travelers,
and on the way, we were attacked by thieves. They took everything we had and put it in front
of the gang leader. From the goods was a bag of sugar and some almonds. The thieves began
eating in front of us. Everyone was eating except for the leader, so I asked him why he wasn’t
eating anything, and he said he was fasting. I said, ‘How is it that you are a highway robber
and steal people’s property and kill people and are fasting?’ He said, ‘O shaykh, this is a door
that I keep open between me and Allāh so that maybe one day I will be able to enter upon Allāh
through it.’” He is saying that he does many bad things, but he won’t give up on this one thing
and at least he has this habit because maybe Allāh will guide him through that door again.
Shayṭān always makes you think backwards: I won’t wear ḥijāb because I’m not worthy of
wearing it, I won’t go to Ḥajj because I have ḥarām money.
Abu Bakr said, “After a while, I saw this same person in Ḥajj. I asked, ‘Are you who I think you
are?’ He said, ‘Yes! That fasting that I kept open elevated me to this status, and Allāh accepted
me through that door so I abandoned all of the other stuff.’”
Whenever we talk about these flaws, people feel that they are being attacked. You feel like you
have every disease in the book. Keep whatever doors you have open to Allāh and try to shut
the doors to the Shayṭān.
YouTube Video:
The Poem that made Imam Ahmad Cry [TDR]

Chapter 4 | Istiqāmah
The word istiqāmah means: stability, straight, disciplined, stable, steadfastness, consistent.
One time the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu),
and Abu Bakr said, “Ya Rasūlullāh, I’m noticing that all of a sudden grey hairs are appearing in
your hair.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was very youthful looking and when he
passed away at 63 years old, he only had 20 grey hairs. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said, “Sūrah Hūd and its sisters have turned me grey.” Towards the end of the Makkan period,
the revelation about the previous prophets came: Yūnus, Maryam, Yūsuf, Sūrat’l-Anbiyā’. The
reason was to give the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) some reinforcement and to look at
what the previous prophets went through. This sūrah in particular had a profound effect on
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam). When Abu Bakr asked what about Sūrah Hūd gave him
the grey hair, he said the following āyah:
So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned
back with you [to Allāh], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do. (Hūd: 112)
Istaqim is the right course. Ibn ʿAbbās (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “No verse has ever been revealed
to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that was harder than this verse.” Why? It was a
command for him to maintain consistency no matter what he went through.
When he (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked a question, he would see where the person was
at before answering. Someone asked for advice that is short, he told him, “Don’t become
angry.”
Whenever the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked for advice, he would look at the
person and see where this person was at and what the person needed to hear. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked by a man, “What is the key to survival?” He (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Say you believe in Allāh and set your affairs straight.” (Muslim)
When al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri would come across this āyah, he would say, “O Allāh, You are our Lord
so grant us istiqāmah.”
The Hardest Task

- In regards to hardship
- In regards to maintaining strength
“The likeness of the heart is as the likeness of a feather that the wind is turning over in the
desert.” (Aḥmad)
Istiqāmah means two things.

1) It comes in regards to hardship. It is hard to keep moving forward when under
oppression or going through tests such as poverty, oppression, being stricken,
challenged in faith. Keep moving forward and don’t become diverted.
2) Maintaining strength. You start something but don’t think you can finish or you look
at things as being so big that you don’t even try to start. “Analysis paralysis” is a
disease. It means that you overanalyze everything and render yourself incapable of
doing anything. You say, “I want to go study overseas,” but you aren’t even taking
advantage of the local classes in your community. “One day I want to do…” but you
don’t do anything.
When describing strength, Allāh describes the tree of īmān in Sūrah Ibrāhīm: “Have you not
seen how Allāh has give the example of a pure word like a good tree. Its foundation is firm and
its branches are in the skies. It is consistently producing fruit regardless of the season.” The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to the companions, “What is the tree most similar to
the tree of faith?” The date palm tree. A palm tree is immovable. You cannot move or shake
it. One of the miracles of Maryam was that when Allāh told her to shake the palm tree, dates
fell. It is a tree that consistently gives off its fruit. Allāh is saying this is the example of a
person with faith. This is how it is supposed to be in your heart.
Sometimes you have low points in your faith, but at the same time, it never gets to a point
where the faith is out of your heart completely. Your faith is producing actions. Some
scholars said that the meaning of this is that the tree provides shade not only for the person
who has the tree but for those around them. If you correct yourself as an individual, society
will be corrected. He benefits other people with his īmān. His actions benefit others. It is not a
seasonal tree. A believer doesn’t sometimes get involved and then all of a sudden quit. It is
constantly producing fruit regardless of the time. The tree consistently produces at some
pace. Sometimes it will produce a little more, but it is always in the state of productions.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Everything has its maximum point of
production. Everything that has its maximum also has its down point. Whoever has his down
time in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam), then he has
become successful. Whoever has it according to anything else will fail.” (Ibn Ḥibbān)
There will be times a person overproduces, but whenever you are at the low point in īmān, you
still maintain basic things. You maintain your prayers. If you didn’t pray qiyām, you still
maintain the sunnah. You maintain an acceptable level of consistency. Otherwise, the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) says “you will fail” and in another narration “you will destroy
yourself.” Sometimes you see people jump in really fast and a few weeks later, they can’t
maintain the level and completely fall off. Be gradual and discipline yourself to be on the
straight path. Move at a steady pace towards Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) gives a powerful analogy. Some people have istiqāmah if
they are in a class or the right environment, but as soon as they are exposed to the secular
world, it all goes away, which indicates a lack of emotional stability.
‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd said, “The example of the believer, unbeliever, and hypocrite is that of
three people who arrive in a valley. One descended and passed through to the other side. One
descended and reached halfway. One of them was at the edge of the valley calling to the one in
the middle saying, ‘Woe to you! Where are you going?’ The one who reached the other side
called, ‘Come to the One who will save you!’ The one in the middle called back, ‘I don’t want to
die!’ The man in the middle was looking back and forth. Because he kept looking back and
forth, a flood came and he drowned.” The one who made it across the valley was the believer.
The disbeliever stood calling out and died of starvation. The one in the middle was
consistently torn. He wasn’t sure if he could be that person who crosses, and he died before
realizing his full potential because he wasn’t moving at a gradual pace. Ibn Mas‘ūd recited
āyah 143 in Sūrat’l-Nisā’.
Wavering between them, [belonging] neither to the believers nor to the disbelievers. And
whoever Allāh leaves astray - never will you find for him a way. (al-Nisā’: 143)
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) said, “The most beloved actions to Allāh are the ones that are most
lasting even though they are little.” (Muslim)
You can’t have discipline in anything unless you have discipline in everything. Not only your
ṣalāh and siyām but also with your family relationships.
Consider every day as your last day. ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar said, “When the evening comes, don’t
wait for the day, and when the day comes, don’t wait for the evening.”
“Say: ‘I believe in Allāh’, and then set your affairs straight!” (Muslim)
The Most Praiseworthy Task
Have you not considered how Allāh presents an example, [making] a good word like a good
tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky? It produces its fruit all the
time, by permission of its Lord. And Allāh presents examples for the people that perhaps they
will be reminded. (Ibrahīm: 24-25)
Consistency
‘Ā’ishah reported Allāh’s Messenger as saying, “The acts most pleasing to Allāh are those
which are done continuously, even if they are small.” And when ‘Ā’ishah did any act she did it
continuously.” (Muslim)
Discipline in ALL areas

- Religion
- Life
- Character
‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) used to say, “When the evening comes, do not wait for
the morning, and when the morning comes, do not wait for the evening.” (al-Bukhāri)
Chapter 5 | Moderation: Don’t Go to Extremes (Ifrāṭ and Tafrīṭ)
O children of Ādam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not
excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess. (al-A‘rāf: 31)
And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever,
between that, [justly] moderate (al-Furqān: 67)
The Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do good deeds properly, sincerely
and moderately, and worship Allāh in the forenoon and in the afternoon and during a part of
the night, and always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your
target (of Paradise).” (al-Bukhāri)
Balance
Narrated Abu Juḥayfah: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) established a bond of
brotherhood between Salmān and Abu’l-Dardā’. Salmān paid a visit to Abu’l-Dardā’ and found
Umm’l-Dardā’ dressed in shabby clothes, and he asked her why she was in that state. She
replied, “Your brother, Abu’l-Dardā’, is not interested in the luxuries of this world.” In the
meantime Abu’l-Dardā’ came and prepared a meal for him (Salmān), and said to him, “(Please)
eat, for I am fasting.” Salmān said, “I am not going to eat, unless you eat.” So Abu’l-Dardā’ ate.
When it was night, Abu’l-Dardā’ got up (for the night prayer). Salmān said (to him), “Sleep,”
and he slept. Again Abu’l-Dardā’ got up (for the prayer), and Salmān said (to him), “Sleep.”
When it was the last part of the night, Salmān said to him, “Get up now (for the prayer).” So
both of them offered their prayers and Salmān said to Abu’l-Dardā’, “Your Lord has a right
upon you, and your own self has a right on you, and your family has a right on you, so you
should give the rights of all those who have a right upon you).” Later, Abu’l-Dardā’ visited the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Salmān has spoken the truth.” (al-Bukhāri)
Save yourselves and your families from a fire. Imām Ibn al-Jawzi said, “A person who is
incapable of taking care of himself is incapable of taking care of his family. A person who is
incapable of taking care of his family is incapable of taking care of the ummah.” Find the
balance as much as you can.
Scholars say that when you go to excess, whether it is extreme denial (ifrāṭ) or excess (tafrīṭ),
one person tries to abandon all of his desires and another lives out what he wants to. Imām Ibn
al-Qayyim said, “If you go to an extreme in trying to suppress your desires, then when you
reach your boiling point, you will act on the desires in far deviant ways.” If you try to suppress
and deny yourself too much, you will end up reaching your boiling point one day and will go
too far. You cannot go too far in suppressing yourself. Don’t maintain a pace that is
impractical.
‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr b. Al-‘Āṣ was overzealous as a young person and wanted to pray all night,
finish the Qurʾān everyday, and fast every day. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) knew
that he was incapable of maintaining that level and wanted to calm him down. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked him, “How much do you pray?” He said, “I pray all night.”
He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The best form of qiyām is to the last third of the night.
Sleep for the first part of the night and wake up for the last third and sleep the last sixth of the
night.” He says, “Ya Rasūlullāh, I can do more.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“That’s enough. How much do you fast?” He said, “I fast every day.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Fast Mondays and Thursdays.” He says, “Ya Rasūlullāh, I can do more.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Fast the 13th, 14th, 15th.” He says, “Ya Rasūlullāh, I
can do more.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The best fasting is the fasting of
Dāwūd. Fast one day and break the fast the next day.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
advised him not to finish reading the Qur’ān more than once every three days. We can find
ṣaḥābah who were doing those things.
We can find some of the ṣaḥābah who prayed more than 1/3rd of the night and some ṣaḥābah
like Abu Ṭalḥa fasted every day except for the two ‘Īds, and there were ṣaḥābah who read the
Qurʾān more than once within three days. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not
want ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr b. Al-‘Āṣ to jump all in because he didn’t think he was capable of
maintaining it. He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Don’t be like the person who used to pray
qiyām’l-layl and then left it.” ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr b. Al-‘Āṣ said, “I wish I would have taken the
advice of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam).” You reach a level when you can’t maintain
anymore.
What is True Zuhd (Asceticism)?
Today, people will inflict poverty on themselves and think that they are doing Allāh a favor.
Sa‘īd b. al-Jubayr said, “Allāh tests me, I don’t test him.” ‘Umar saw some young people sleeping
in the masjid in the middle of the day and told them to wake up and work and make money. The
day after Abu Bakr assumed the khilāfah, ‘Umar sees him in the marketplace carrying bags of
merchandise on his back and Abu Bakr said, “I am working and doing my job.” Amongst the
ṣaḥābah were successful businessmen like ‘Abdul-Raḥmān b. ‘Awf.
So what then is zuhd? Allāh gave Sulaymān (‘alayhi’l-salām) so much kingdom on this earth. He
made du‘ā’, “O my Lord, forgive me and grant me a kingdom that you will not grant to anyone
else.” He asked Allāh for a customized kingdom after he asked for forgiveness. The priority was
forgiveness, but he also asked Allāh for dunya. Imām al-Khuzayni collected narrations:
Sulaymān was once walking in his kingdom with people and animals following him and a
righteous worshipper said, “O son of David, Allāh has given you a great kingdom.” Sulaymān
stopped and asked, “Who said that?” They pointed out the man. He said, “One ‘subḥānAllāh’ is
better in the book of a believer is better than everything the son of David has been given. What
has been given to the son of David will disappear, but the tasbīḥ will stay forever.” He had the
kingdom, but at the same time, that wasn’t what he was all about. We are supposed to make
du‘ā’: “O Allāh, grant us in the dunya good and in the ākhirah good and protect us from the fire.”
Why do we say “qina ‘adhāb’l-nār”? Just because you get ḥasanah in the ākhirah doesn’t mean you
won’t get some of the punishment first. It is okay to ask for dunya and to ask for good. It is
from the Sunnah of the prophets to do so.
‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib defines zuhd best: “Asceticism is not that you own nothing but it is that nothing
owns you.” What you own stays in your hand and doesn’t go to your hearts. ‘Abdul-Raḥmān b.
‘Awf was a multi-millionaire, but it never went to his heart. No relationship or wealth or
reputation owns you. You own all of that stuff and you control it; it doesn’t control you.
The ṣaḥābah ran away from the world, and the world chased them. ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Aziz tried
to run away from the masjid when he was appointed khalīfah, and the people picked him up and
took him to the minbar. He was a rich person, but he abandoned everything in his home. When
‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Aziz passed away, Leo III, the Roman Emperor, came out of his house crying
and said, “If there was to be a man who could bring the dead back to life after ‘Īsa, it would have
been ‘Umar b. ‘Abdul-‘Aziz. People should not be impressed by a monk who never had anything
in the first place who abandoned the world and stayed in his temple worshipping, but people
should be impressed and amazed by a person to whom the dunya presented itself to his feet and
he still abandoned it.”
He said, “My Lord, forgive me and grant me a kingdom such as will not belong to anyone after
me. Indeed, You are the Bestower.” (Ṣād: 35)
Chapter 6 | Get Your Wird On

The Purpose of the Pillars
What is the function of good deeds?
And mention the name of your Lord [in prayer] morning and evening. And during the night
prostrate to Him and exalt Him a long [part of the] night. (al-Insān: 25-26)
Did you know that every pillar is meant to curb a destructive flaw? Every pillar of Islam
detaches you from something.
Fill in the blanks below:

Shahādah curbs: it detaches you from any other deity. The greatest of destructive flaws is
shirk. Shahādah breaks this.
Ṣalāh curbs: pride. You have to humble yourself and come to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). You
put your head on the floor and prostrate to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). You remind yourself
five times a day at least how low you are. Ṣalāh breaks your attachment to ego.
Zakāh curbs: greed, miserliness, dunya. It breaks you away from having any attachment to
worldly and materialistic things.
Ṣiyām curbs: desires, tongue, intimacy, anger. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“Allāh is not in need of the fasting person who curses.” Allāh says in the Qurʾān: “Allāh has
written upon you fasting just as He wrote it upon those who came before you so that you could
gain taqwa.” In Sūrah āle-‘Imrān, Allāh says, “those who give in times of adversity…they
swallow their anger and learn to pardon people.” The goal of fasting is taqwa. If you don’t gain
God-consciousness, then you have failed in your fasting.
Ḥajj curbs: everything! This is why it is once in a lifetime. It curbs arrogance, pride (you have
to go with the flow and reduce yourself), tongue (you don’t want to spoil your Ḥajj by talking),
envy (you are all the same), anger (you can’t lose your patience), greed. Ḥajj is the ultimate
journey that combines all of these things in one.
These pillars protect us from these flaws. Clean yourself from these flaws and protect yourself.
Fortify yourself. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “When you go to the grave and
the punishment tries to come to you from any direction, your ṣalāh stops it from your head.
Your different acts of worship (i.e. zakāh, charity) stop it and they say, ‘You have no entrance
from here.’” Your acts of worship act as your fortress and protect you both in the physical
sense and spiritual sense.
Wird is your spiritual regimen. The word sharī‘ah means the path that leads to water. It is a
path that is well-trodden. In the desert, you know it is a path that leads to water because of all
the footsteps leading that way. When the Arabs say, “I have given my camel sharī‘ah,” it means
that he took the camel to the water and let him drink until he became satisfied. When the
Arabs would say, “awradaha’l-mā’,’” it means that the camel knows what is good for it and the
owner puts the water in the camel’s mouth.
Sharī‘ah is not to be forced. Wird is when you force yourself to abide by a spiritual regimen
because you understand that it is good for you. You have established times and routines of
drinking at certain times.
The linguistic definition of wird: the owner of the camel giving the camel the drink.
A few notes in terms of developing your daily routine:

Understand your complexity!
Everyone is different. Some people can fast and it is easy for them. Some people can give
more charity or visit more sick people. ‘Abdullāh b. ʿAbbās was once criticized that he didn’t
fast nawāfil. He said, “When I fast, it prevents me from the doing the same amount of qirā’a as I
would be able to had I not been fasting.”
Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the
obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men
and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable
women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the
women who do so, and the men who remember Allāh often and the women who do so - for
them Allāh has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (al-Aḥzāb: 35)
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) mentions to us many different categories. Allāh is mentioning all of
these different categories. Weigh yourself against each of these categories and see where you
fall.
Act with a Sense of Purpose
If you want to get things done, don’t be lazy. Al-Ghazāli said, “If a person is deeply engaged in
a certain thought, then everything lends itself to that thought.” If you are thinking of
someone you love, then everything reminds you of that person. That is the same way a person
is to be in the pursuit of Allāh’s love.
Food for thought: Imagine sitting on a beach and a Muslim on his boat sneezed…
There is a story related by al-Shawkāni about the great muḥaddith Abu Dāwūd. Abu Dāwūd was
on board a ship and he heard someone far away sneeze and say “alḥamdulillāh.” He wanted to
go the person and say “yarḥamuk Allāh” to receive the reward, so he paid one dirham to rent a
rowboat and went to the person and said this and came back to the ship. Imām Abu Dāwūd was
asked why he did that, and he said, “The person will in return for saying ‘yarḥamuk Allāh’ make
du‘ā’ for my guidance, and maybe his supplication is of those whose du‘ā’ is answered.” They
heard a voice saying, “Surely Abu Dāwūd has purchased paradise from Allāh for one dirham.”
This is the way that a person who acts with a sense of purpose thinks!
The P90x Wird
The core element of P90X is muscle confusion. You work a different set of muscles all the time
but are consistently confusing them. You have to do this with your spirituality sometimes.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily, faith becomes worn out in your heart the
way a thawb becomes worn out.” You need to confuse your spirituality and do things out of
the ordinary and push yourself. Do sajdah of shukr. Pray two rakʿahs nāfilah out of the blue.
Read Qurʾān out of the blue. Even when you establish a routine, if you only do the routine,
then you will start getting bored and it will no longer serve its purpose.
‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr narrated that the messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Every
servant of Allāh possesses some inclination (shirra), and every inclination has its course (fatra).
If one’s inclination is for the Sunnah, he has succeeded. If otherwise, he has perished.”
(Bayhaqi)
The superstar: Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu)
‘Umar always wanted to be like Abu Bakr. ‘Ali says about Abu Bakr: “Every time you think of
good, Abu Bakr has already done it.” Abu Bakr was once sitting with the ṣaḥābah and the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Who amongst you is fasting today?” Abu Bakr and
some ṣaḥābah raised their hands. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Who amongst
you gave charity today?” Abu Bakr and another group of ṣaḥābah raised their hands. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Who amongst you visited a sick person today?” Abu
Bakr and another group of ṣaḥābah raised their hands. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “And who amongst you walked a janāzah today?” Abu Bakr and another group of
ṣaḥābah raised their hands. This is a superstar! Abu Bakr combines all of these
characteristics. Why did he make sure he was doing all of these things?
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“Whoever spends two things in the way of Allāh will be called from the gates of Jannah and will
be addressed, ‘O slave of Allāh, here is prosperity!’ So whoever was among the people who used
to offer their prayers will be called from the gate of prayer; and whoever was among the
people who used to participate in jihād will be called from the gates of jihād; and whoever was
among those who used to observe fasts will be called from the gate of al-rayyān; and whoever
was among those who used to give in charity will be called from the gate of charity.” Abu Bakr
said, “Let my parents be sacrificed for you, Oh Allāh’s Messenger! No distress or need will
befall him one will be called from those gates. Will there by anyone who will be called from all
these gates?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied, “Yes. And I hope you will be one
of them.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhāri)
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) names eight gates to Paradise, and the distance between
each gate is the distance between the heavens and the earth. We all just want to get in from
any gate. When Abu Bakr (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) hears the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say
this ḥadīth, he asks if anyone will be called from all of the gates. He wants to go through all of
them. When you get into Jannah, you don’t go out and then enter through another gate.
When the people enter into Jannah, Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said people will be
called by the angels from the gates. Imagine a VIP who is called from the gates to enter.
Imagine how good it feels (may Allāh allow this to be us. Āmīn).
Diversify our wird hoping that Allāh will allow us to be called from all of these gates,
inshā’Allāh.
Chapter 7 | The Daily Wird: A Share of Contemplation & Remembrance
What are the components your day should have? Allāh says, “In the alternation of the night
and day and in the creation of the heavens and the earth are signs for the people whose
intellect is clear.” Al-uli’l-albāb means that there is nothing occupying your mind except for
Allāh. Clean intellect. People whose minds are free from other than Allāh. Their minds are
focused. Those who remember Allāh standing, sitting, and while lying down. “They are
contemplating the creation of the heavens and the earth and say, ‘O Allāh, You did not create
this in vain. Subḥānak. So protect me from the punishment.’” They are focused and in the
zone and wherever they are they see the remembrance of Allāh.
How do you gain that? There should be a share in your day of solitude and seclusion and
contemplation – a quiet place where you remember Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). Your down
time where you think and contemplate.
The example of [this] worldly life is but like rain which We have sent down from the sky that
the plants of the earth absorb - [those] from which men and livestock eat - until, when the
earth has taken on its adornment and is beautified and its people suppose that they have
capability over it, there comes to it Our command by night or by day, and We make it as a
harvest, as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thus do We explain in detail the signs for a
people who give thought. (Yūnus: 24)
Narrated ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha): The commencement of the Divine Inspiration to Allāh’s
Apostle (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in the form of good dreams which came true like bright
day light, and then the love of seclusion was bestowed upon him. He used to go in seclusion in
the cave of Hirā’ where he used to worship (Allāh alone) continuously for many days before his
desire to see his family… (al-Bukhāri)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had the love of seclusion. He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) would go to Hirā’ for weeks. He would think and contemplate.
‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “You should have some proportion of solitude or
else you will become heedless.”
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said: “Contemplation is a mirror that shows you your good and bad deeds.”
Sometimes you just need to sit and think about your situation and contemplate. Think about
how you measure up to what Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) has commanded from you. Ibn
Taymiyyah would contemplate at the riverbank every single day. This was the habit of the
ṣāliḥīn. Reflect on nature.
Shaykh Yaser Birjas said, “One of the reasons why we lack khushū‘ in ṣalāh is because of all of
the artificial lighting. The night is meant to be your downtime when you don’t see anything
and have solitude, but now everything is lit up.”
Imām al-Awzā’i said, “At the time of fajr or before it, the salaf would be as if birds were sitting
on their heads, sitting and concentrating in worship, so much so that if a close friend came
after having been parted from them, they would not even notice. After, they would meet each
other and sit in circles. The first thing they will do is discuss the ākhirah. Then after that, they
would discuss what would become of them in the hereafter. Then they would split into other
circles and study the Qurʾān. Then they would split into more circles and study fiqh until it
reached the time of ḍuḥa prayer, and they would pray two rakʿahs. They would then tell the
jokes and sing the poetry of jāhiliyyah. (They had their share of talking about dunya.)” In the
morning, there was a time of solitude and thinking of your situation.
When you clear your head and think, you start noticing things.
In an authentic narration, Rabi‘ah al-Adawiyyah says, “I have never heard the ādhān except
that I remember the caller who will announce the Day of Resurrection and I never see the
falling snow except that I imagine the flying pages of the records of people’s deeds on the Day
of Judgment. I never see swarms of locusts except that I think about the great gathering on
the Last Day.” Everything she sees reminds her of the ākhirah and the Day of Judgment.
There is a weak ḥadīth: “Remember Allāh until they call you majnūn (crazy).” Someone who is
always engaged in remembrance is not idle. Even when walking, they are talking to
themselves. They are always in the remembrance of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). They talk to
Allāh at all times. They take advantage of every single idle moment. Imagine how much dhikr
you can get done on your way to work or on your way to class. The average person spends 18
years in the car by the time they die. Imagine eighteen years of nothing but dhikr. Instead,
you are talking on the phone or listening to the radio.
Concept of using even the times of your life when you are engaged in work: You can
synchronize dhikr with your work. Imām Aḥmad, in an authentic narration from Ibn al-Jawzi,
said, “One time, I traveled to al-Shām. When I reached there, I went to sleep in the masjid.
Whenever I lay down to go to sleep, the guard of the masjid came to me and told me the masjid
is closing and that I had to leave. I went out and slept in front of the masjid. The guard came
out and picked up my legs and dragged me to the middle of the road. There was a baker who
owned the shop across from the masjid. The baker saw me and told him to spend the night in
his bakery. I went to his bakery, and the man made a comfortable place where I could lay
down. He started doing his work. He took the dough and shaped it and put it in the oven. I
saw him constantly saying, ‘subḥānAllāh, alḥamdulillāh, la ilāha illa Allāh, Allāhu akbar.’ I thought
to myself that he didn’t get tired. I stopped and asked him, ‘How long have you been in this
situation?’ He said, ‘What situation?’ I said, ‘Tasbīḥ.’ He said, ‘I have been doing this for years.’
Imām Ahmed said, ‘And what have you seen as a result of your frequent remembrance?’ He
said, ‘My du‘ā’s are mustajab.’ I said, ‘You never made du‘ā’ for anything except that Allāh gave
it to you?’ He said, ‘Except for one thing that I am still waiting for the answer: to see Imām
Aḥmad.’ I said, ‘I am Aḥmad!’ He embraced me. I said, ‘Allāh brought me dragging by my feet
to your bakery! Had you not made du‘ā’, I would have been sleeping in the masjid.’” The point
is the man wasn’t a scholar or someone who was a worshipper, but he had a strict wird. He
consistently remembered Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). Being in that state elevated him and put
him in that lofty position.
‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak (raḥimahullāh) had a neighbor who was an ironsmith. Every single day,
the neighbor would look out to him and see people coming to his house to study with him. He
would see ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak praying qiyām’l-layl on his roof. He made du‘ā’, “If I had the
opportunity to be like that, I would be like that.” After ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak died and this man
died, some of his students saw him in a dream and they asked him what happened to him, and
he said he was in Jannah. They asked about his neighbor and ‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak said he is
farther up because every time he heard the ādhān, he would put his work down and go and
pray and he sincerely desired to do more, but his situation held him back. You don’t have to be
a shaykh to have a productive day.
People usually make dhikr before going to sleep. It is very common that you fall asleep in the
middle. ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd said, “Falling asleep when remembering Allāh is from Shayṭān.
When you lie down and want to sleep, try to remember Allāh and you will get sleepy.”
Which is preferable: seclusion or keeping company?
Imām Ibn Qudāmah talks about some scholars who preferred absolute seclusion and some
preferred to be around people. Understand complexity. If you progress more in solitude, then
keep more solitude. If you progress more around righteous people, then keep the company of
righteous people. See what is better for you. You need to have a share of both. What do you
increase in? It depends on the individual.
Sufyān al-Thawri didn’t like the company of anyone. Imām Aḥmad said, “I wish for a world
devoid of people.” He liked being alone. You have to diagnose yourself.
 Benefits of Seclusion
1. Dedication to ritual worship

2. Staying away from sins like backbiting, greed, or hypocrisy
3. Avoiding being affected by others’ bad behavior
4. Escaping temptation and dissention
5. Saving oneself from others’ harm
6. Avoiding wasting time
Is it better to pray tarāwīḥ at home or in the masjid? It depends. It is important that tarāwīḥ is
established in the masjid. ‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb gathered the people behind one imām, but he
didn’t go out there and call everyone to the masjid for tarāwīḥ. Shaykh ‘Uthaymīn said, “If you
can pray the same amount with the same amount of khushū‘ and at the same level at home,
then it is better to pray at home.” This is not the case with most people.
 Benefits of Keeping Company
1. Opportunity to learn from and teach others

2. Exchanging benefits
3. Improving one’s manners through experience. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, “They
are the people whose hearts were tested for true piety.” ‘Umar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb said, “The
one who is tested is better than the one who is not tested.” The one who is not tested is
like a zoo animal. If you put them in the wild, they are done because they haven’t been
tested by the wilderness.
4. Enjoying the company of others
5. Performing righteous deeds that require interaction
There are some deeds that can only be done through interaction with people.
6. Developing modesty and humility through dealing with others. It is easy for us to say
that we are humble to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). You prove your humility to Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) whenever you are willing to humble yourself to a human being
who is in front of you and is at your level. When you can humble yourself to a human
being, then you are humble to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
Even if you like good company, don’t become dependent on it. ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd, “You
should get used to the idea that if everyone on earth disbelieved, you would not allow yourself
to disbelieve.”
How can you make companionship blessed?

Sometimes within families, talking about religion is awkward. Rarely do you hear a husband
and wife saying “al-salāmu ‘alaykum” to each other. Have family ḥalaqahs and remember Allāh
as a family together. ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar narrates hundreds of aḥadīth from his father saying, “I
heard my father say” or “I was sitting with my father when he said this.” Talk about dīn within
the house and with your friends. Don’t make it something that is awkward. Make it something
that is common. In al-Tabarāni, there is a narration that whenever two companions of the
Messenger would meet, they would not leave without reciting Sūrat’l-‘Aṣr and then one would
say salām to the other. Imagine if we started to apply that with our friends amongst each
other. Every time we leave, one of us recites that to each other. Even when you get off the
phone, recite it to each other. Write this down as an action item. Remind each other of Allāh
(subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
A Share of Meaningful Obligatory Prayers
How can you use ṣalāh to discipline your soul?

Recite, [O Muḥammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer.
Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allāh is
greater. And Allāh knows that which you do. (al-‘Ankabūt: 45)
‘Uthmān b. ‘Affān reports that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If the time for a
prescribed ṣalāh comes, and a Muslim performs ablution properly, (and then offers his ṣalāh)
with humility and bowing, it will be an expiation for his past sins, so long as he has not
committed a major sin, and this is applicable to all times.” (Muslim)
Meaningful Prayer
 Consciousness
Allāh said, “Verily, prayer prohibits one from wrongdoing.” Imagine feeling like your ṣalāh
was a conversation with Allāh. Would you be able to rush your ṣalāh if you are on Facebook?
Honestly give each of the five ṣalawāt their due. Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says in ḥadīth qudsi:
“My servant does not come close to Me with anything other than the mandatory actions.” It
starts with the prayer. Use it to remind you of Allāh. There is no way you can talk to Allāh five
times a day and then do those things you are going to do. You would not be able to backbite.
When you engage in a dialogue with Allāh, it will stop you from doing those things naturally.
 Reflection on the words
Know the basic meanings of what you say in ṣalāh. Memorize the translation. You aren’t
supposed to just stare at the carpet in the ṣalāh. The words that are being said are supposed to
humble you.
 Glorification of the words
Think about the words and reflect on them, and find the āyāt that apply to you. Recite in your
ṣalāh the āyāt that you love most.
The companions complained that there was a man who would recite Sūrat’l-Ikhlāṣ in every
rakʿah. He told the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that he loved these words. Find those
āyāt and verses that really shake you up, even if it is in the middle of a sūrah. Keep reading
these in your ṣalāh and reflect on them.
 Contemplating each action
When you say “Allāhu akbar,” you are saying “Allāh is Greater” than whatever it is that you
brought to your ṣalāh. You contemplate each action. Malcolm X said that he was not able to
bring himself to do sujūd at first, but once he did it, it was the best thing he did in his life. Once
he put himself down in sujūd, he never wanted to get back up because he understood the
meaning. What are you doing with your face on the ground saying “Glory be to Allāh, the Most
High”?
 Pre and Post Ṣalāh
- The five minutes before ṣalāh can make or break your ṣalāh. If you pray after talking on the
phone or watching TV, your ṣalāh will not have khushū‘. You have to have a few minutes
before ṣalāh as “me time.” Think about Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla). Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri said
that a person in the masjid should not look around before the ṣalāh. In the few minutes
before ṣalāh, remember Allāh.
- Clean up the area around you and make it a place that is appropriate for prayer.
- Take your best clothes to the prayer.
- Perfume yourself.
- Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If it wasn’t a hardship for my ummah, I would
order them to use the miswāk before the ṣalāh.”
 Defining Khushū‘
What is the meaning of the word khushū‘? On the Day of Judgment, Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla)
says, “The voices become silent to Al-Raḥmān.” Allāh used the word khashiyah, which is a
different type of silence. When Allāh says this, he is saying that when the people stand before
Allāh on the Day of Judgment and see the scene of the Day of Judgment, they are not thinking
of anything else. It is internal silence. The linguistic meaning of khushū‘ is absolute, internal
silence.
Sometimes you are downloading too much into your brain and heart. You need to gain
complete silence. The first thing to do is gain external silence. When you go into the ṣalāh and
say, “Allāhu akbar,” you realize that it is a dialogue between you and Allāh.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said, “If the person goes into the ṣalāh and then turns away (his heart
turns away, his mind or thoughts turn away), Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) says, ‘O My servant,
where are you going? To something better than Me?” SubḥānAllāh. Where are you turning to?
‘Align yourself to think of Allāh. Before you start your ṣalāh, stand there and think that you
are about to talk to Allāh. Then go into the ṣalāh and start reciting Sūrat’l-Fātiḥah.
Imagine how insulting it is when you are doing the motions of ṣalāh and Allāh is offering you
attention and you are not offering Allāh your attention.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim said that there are five categories of people in regard to their prayer:
1. Those who are unjust with themselves. They have wasted their ṣalāh by not completing
the proper pillars and by not praying on time. Their ṣalāh is worthless.
2. Those who perform the prayer in its correct hours, and they complete its technical
requirements, but they are unable to strive against themselves and against the
whispers of Shayṭān, so their mind is occupied by other things. It is all form and no
substance.
3. Those who maintain its pillars and its correctness and strive against themselves and
the whispers of Shayṭān. They are busy throughout the ṣalāh striving against the
whispers and themselves. This person is engaged in jihād. He is not tasting khushū‘ yet
but is fighting Shayṭān.
4. Those who whenever they enter the ṣalāh, they perfect its duties and their heart is
focused on perfecting the ṣalāh. They make sure that they don’t waste a single portion
of the ṣalāh and fulfill all of its internal and external requirements.
5. Those who when they enter into the ṣalāh, they place their hearts into the Hands of
Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla), staring at the Creator through their hearts, filled with love
for Him. They have gone beyond fighting the whispers and themselves. The only thing
beloved to them at that moment is the ṣalāh. They are immersed in the ṣalāh. This is
the category of iḥsān: worshipping Allāh as if you can see Him, and if you can’t see Him,
then know that He sees you.
The first category of people is those who are punished. The second category of people is those
who are questionable – Allāh may or may not forgive them. The third category of people is
those who are forgiven. The fourth category of people is those who are rewarded and
forgiven. The fifth category are the ‘awliyah (beloved friends) of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
The example of ‘Urwah b. al-Zubayr: When he prayed, the birds would stand on his head and
shoulders. He had to have his leg amputated, and they wanted to intoxicate him to remove it,
but he told them to wait until fajr prayer and cut it off when he was in prayer.
When ‘Abdullāh b. al-Zubayr was praying next to the Ka‘bah and it caught fire, his clothes
caught fire and didn’t notice. The people started extinguishing the fire on him.
Ṣalāh is your stress relief. It is what you look forward to. You ask yourself: when is the next
ṣalāh? It is the sweetest moment of your day.
A practical way on how to achieve khushū‘ in ṣalāh:

Al-Ḥātim b. ‘Āṣim (raḥimahullāh) was one of the tabi‘īn. He was asked, “How do you attain
tranquility in your prayer? We see you so engulfed. How do you reach that level?” He said,
“Before I start, I imagine the ṣirāṭ (bridge over Hellfire) in front of me. I imagine Jannah is on
my right and Hellfire is on my left. I remember that the one who does not pray his ṣalawāt in
this world will be grabbed by a hook on the ṣirāṭ and have to make them up in Jahannam. Then
I imagine the angel of death is standing behind me, and I don’t know when he is going to
attack. Then I imagine that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) is standing in front of me
to monitor the correctness of my ṣalāh. Then I remember that Allāh, Who created all of that, is
monitoring me. Then I start.”
 Pray your ṣalāh on time and plan around it
Plan your daily schedule around your ṣalāh. There are 20 pages in each juz’ of the Qurʾān. If
you read two pages before and after each ṣalāh, then you would finish a juz’ every day. The
ṣaḥābah were so keen on maintaining the ṣalāh.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) tells us about the coming of al-Dajjāl. He said that one
day will be like a year and one day will be like a month and one day like a week. The first
question the ṣaḥābah asked was, “How will we pray during those days?” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “You estimate based on your regular times.” They were that concerned.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “When the believer is sat up in the grave, the first
thing he says is that he needs to pray the ṣalāh.”
Some people are programmed for ṣalāh. ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “When the time for
fajr would come, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would jump out of the bed (even
though he prayed all night). I never told him to stand up.”
A Share of Voluntary Prayers
There are three categories of voluntary prayers:

1. Sunan Rātibah: the voluntary prayers that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) never
left. For example: 2 rakʿahs before fajr, 4 rakʿahs before ẓuhr, 4 rakʿahs after ẓuhr, 2 rakʿahs
after maghrib, 2 rakʿahs after ‘ishā’. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also never
abandoned the witr prayer.
2. Mustaḥabbāt: Recommended prayers that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did
sometimes and left at other times. Example: 4 rakʿahs before ‘aṣr – sometimes he did it and
sometimes he did not. (There is some basis in the Sunnah for these).
3. Taṭawwu‘āt: Pure voluntary prayers. These can be done at any time prayer is permissible.
Allāh is so generous and merciful to us. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said in an
authentic ḥadīth in al-Tirmidhi: “On the Day of Judgment, the first thing you will be asked
about is your prayer. If your prayer is deficient, Allāh will ask for your voluntary prayers.
Allāh will patch up your mandatory prayers with your voluntary prayers.” Then you will be
asked about your fasting. The deficiencies are made up with the voluntary days. Allāh patches
up our deficiencies for us.
If you can incorporate just the Sunan Rātibah and the two rakʿahs of ḍuḥa prayer (after the sun
rises) and the witr prayer, you are good. There are 17 rakʿahs in mandatory prayer every day.
The sunan rātibah + 2 rakʿahs of ḍuḥa prayer + witr = 17. If you can learn to have the mandatory
prayers equal in voluntary prayers, then Allāh will use them to patch up your prayers.
A Share of Qiyām
If someone suspects that he can’t pray qiyām’l-layl in the later portion of the night, then he can
pray in the early part of the night before he sleeps. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said, “Whoever of you fears that he cannot wake up in the latter part of the night, he should
pray witr before sleeping. And whoever of you believes that he will be able to wake during the
latter portion of the night, he should make the witr prayer during that latter portion as it is a
blessed time.” The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked Abu Bakr when he prays witr, and
Abu Bakr said, “In the early portion of the night after the night prayer.” He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) then asked ‘Umar, and ‘Umar said, “During the latter portion of the night.” He
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) then said, “As for you Abu Bakr, you have taken the careful way. As
for you, ‘Umar, you have taken the way of hardship and firm will. And both of you are
rewarded.”
If you miss witr, then you make it up. Ibn ʿAbbās was seen praying witr immediately after
ṣalāt’l-fajr.
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “If a person makes the intention to wake up for ṣalāh
at night and doesn’t wake up, he gets the full reward for praying at night, and the sleep was a
ṣadaqah from Allāh.” (Muslim)
Al-Ḥasan al-Baṣri was asked, “How is it that those who observe qiyām’l-layl are among the
people with the most beautiful faces?” To this he replied, “Because they commune with the
Most Merciful, and He clothes them in light from His light.”
 How can I start praying qiyām?
Ibn ʿAbbās said the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Perform qiyām at the night even
if it is just one rakʿah.”
1. Intention
2. Determination
3. Repentance. Sufyān al-Thawri said, “Don’t disobey Him during the day and you will be
able to worship Him during the night. I was forbidden from praying qiyām’l-layl for six
months because of a sin I was committing.” The sins can keep you asleep.
4. Kick the bad habits
5. Sleep early
6. Take a nap sometime in the day (particularly around ẓuhr time)
7. Go easy on the Biryani! If you eat heavy before you sleep, it is harder to wake up.
8. Understand only Allāh wakes you up. Make du‘ā’ to Allāh to wake you up.
9. Read about the merits
10. Set your alarm in a place far away in the room and kill the Shayṭān button (common
sense)
11. Get your family involved
Find a way to pray as much as you can. Whenever the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
would start his qiyām, he would start with short rakʿahs. It was a warm-up. When Ibn ʿAbbās
would wake up, he would pray two short rakʿahs and then make it longer.
A Share of Recitation and Memorization of the Qur’ān
Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’ān, or are there locks upon [their] hearts? (Muḥammad:
24)
Mujāhid said, “The heart is like this (palm extended). You commit one sin (he moved the
thumb in into his palm) and then you commit another sin (he moved a finger into his palm)
and another one and another one and another one and then the heart becomes locked.” You
need to purify the heart.
‘Uthmān b. ‘Affān reports that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The
best of you is the one who learns the Qur’ān and teaches it.” (al-Bukhāri)
Anas (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reports that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Surely, Allāh,
Most High, has chosen some people (to be His favorite servants),” It was said, “Who are those
people, O Messenger of Allāh?” “The People of the Qur’ān,” said the Messenger of Allāh, and he
added, “They are the (favorite) people of Allāh.” (al-Nasā’i)
This is the easiest way to discipline yourself. Get in the process of memorizing Qurʾān. Your
life completely changes because everyday you have a goal that you are trying to achieve. Set a
daily goal of memorizing a few āyāt. Stay in the gardens of the Qurʾān throughout the day as
much as possible.
If you read four pages of Qurʾān with every ṣalāh, then you will finish the Qurʾān every month.
Sufyān b. Uyaynah said the salaf used to consider a person a hypocrite if they didn’t finish the
Qurʾān in a month. Don’t wait until the last day of the month and then say that you need to
finish the Qurʾān.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “There is a time behind you that will be devoid of
blessing. For them, a day will be like an hour, a week will be like a day, a month will be like a
week, and a year will be like a month.” Time shrinks and you don’t have barakah and blessing
in the time anymore. It’s amazing how the people before used to be so productive and read so
much Qurʾān.
The one sūrah you need to read every night before you sleep is Sūrat’l-Mulk. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever recites it every night will be protected from the
punishment of the grave.”
With qiyām’l-layl and dhikr, ‘Ā’ishah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) would pray those rakʿahs he missed between ḍuḥa and zawāl if he had been sick.
When reciting the Glorious Qur’ān, reflect upon the Glory of the Speaker!
Why doesn’t it affect me?
What can I do to benefit from it?
What if I don’t understand it?
Zayd b. Thābit said, “We ate suḥūr with the Messenger of Allāh, then we stood for the ṣalāh.” I
(Anas) said, “How long was that?” He said, “About the lengthy of fifty āyahs.” (Tirmidhi)
Try to finish a juz’ of Qurʾān a day.
Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allāh] from that which
you love. And whatever you spend - indeed, Allāh is Knowing of it. (āle-‘Imrān: 92)
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Charity is obligatory
everyday on every joint of a human being. If one helps a person in matters concerning his
riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, all this will be regarded
charity. A good word, and every step one takes to offer the compulsory congregational prayer,
is regarded as charity; and guiding somebody on the road is regarded as charity.”
What if my charity was given to one undeserving? Don’t be sad because the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) has some news for you. (Muslim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said charity is due on a person every day. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever constructs a small well, no one would drink from it
except that Allāh will reward you from it on the Day of Judgment.” He also said, “If you are
planting a plant and the Day of Judgment comes, finish planting your plant.”
Imagine if you could ask the most righteous person in the world, “Shaykh, I want you to make
du‘ā’ for me every single day.” He asks for your name and says he will. Now imagine the angels
making du‘ā’ for you. Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Every day the angels say, ‘O
Allāh, reward the one who gave and hold back from the one who held back.’”
Every day, put something in your bottle and when it is full, give it away in ṣadaqah. You have
just guaranteed the du‘ā’ of the angels every day of your life, inshā’Allāh.
 How much can I accomplish in a day?
Imagine the reward of:

1. Praying fajr and ‘ishā’ in the masjid.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The one who prays ‘ishā’ in jama‘ah, it is as if
he prayed the first half of the night in qiyam’l-layl. The one who prays fajr in jama‘ah, it is as
if he prayed the second half of the night in qiyam’l-layl.” Imām Ibn al-Qayyim says she gets
the same reward as long as she makes the intention before ṣalāh. Whenever a traveler
travels, if he prays two rakʿahs, it is more rewardable because it is the proper intention.
2. Praying ḍuḥa
If a person remembers Allāh after their fajr prayer until the time of ḍuḥa and then prays 2
rakʿahs, a full Ḥajj will be written for him.
He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Charity is required from every part of your body daily.
Saying ‘subḥānAllāh’ is a charity. Saying ‘alḥamdulillāh’ is a charity. Saying ‘Allāhu akbar’ is
a charity. Commanding the good is a charity. Forbidding evil is a charity. What suffices
for all of that is 2 rak‘ahs that you pray in ḍuḥa.”
3. Doing tasbīḥ after ṣalāh
‘Amr b. Al-‘Āṣ narrated that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “After the ṣalāh, if
a person says subḥānAllāh ten times and alḥamdulillāh ten times and Allāhu akbar ten times
after all five of his prayers, then 150 on his tongue and 1,500 good deeds on his scale. If at
night before he sleeps he says subḥānAllāh 33 times, alḥamdulillāh 33 times, and Allāhu akbar
34 times, it is 100 on the tongue, 1,000 on the scale. Who amongst you commits 2,500 sins a
day?”
4. Praying just 2 rakʿahs of qiyām
Ḥadīth of Anas: Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Prayer in my masjid is equal to
10,000 prayers elsewhere. Prayer in Masjid’l-Ḥarām in Makkah is equal to 100,000 prayers
elsewhere. Prayer in the battlefield is equal to one million prayers elsewhere. What is
more beloved to Allāh than all of that is 2 rakʿahs in the middle of the night.”
From Ibn Mājah: “Whoever prays qiyām with 10 āyahs, he will never be written as those
who are heedless. Whoever stands up and prays with 100 āyāt will be written from those
who are standing in prayer. Whoever wants to stand and pray with 1000 āyāt will be
written with Allāh as those who are piling up good deeds.”
Start with 2 rakʿahs before you sleep. Read Sūrat’l-Falaq and Sūrat’l-Nās and it will be
sufficient to not be written amongst those who are heedless.
5. Saying the du‘ā’ after wuḍū’
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “No one does wuḍū’ and then says
except that all of the gates of Jannah will be opened and he can enter from whichever gate
he chooses.” (Muslim)
6. Saying the du‘ā’ of the marketplace
“Whoever says
upon entering the marketplace, Allāh will write for him one million ḥasanāt and will erase
from him one million evil deeds and will build for him a house in Paradise.”
Chapter 8 | The Weekly Wird

Components of a Fruitful Jum‘uah Experience
1. Starting on Thursday night with Sūrat’l-Kahf, cleaning, ṣalawāt

2. Ghusl
3. Beautifying yourself and using the miswāk
4. Walking to the masjid
5. Going as early as possible
6. Avoiding stepping over people
7. Avoiding walking in front of the worshippers
8. Praying in the first row
9. Repeat the ādhān
10. Listen attentively
11. Pray sunnah afterwards
12. Stay in the mosque until ‘aṣr
13. Look for “the hour”
Zayn al-‘Abidīn was in sujūd in ṣalāh. He didn’t raise his head until the fire went out, and when
he was asked about this, he said, “The other fire kept my mind occupied.”
Sūrat’l-Kahf
Read it on the night of Thursday or on the day of Friday.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said: “The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Whoever reads Sūrat’l-Kahf on the day of Jumu‘ah, a light will shine for
him from beneath his feet to the clouds of the sky, which will shine for him on the Day of
Resurrection, and he will be forgiven (his sins) between the two Fridays.’” (Mundhiri)
Fasting Mondays and Thursdays
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “The deeds are presented on Monday and Thursday, so I love that my deeds be
presented while I am fasting.” (al-Tirmidhi)
Start applying the days of fasting, especially right after Ramaḍān when you are still in the
habit. This is golden time. You are already used to fasting, so take advantage of it.
Send ṣalawāt on the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) on Friday (the night of Thursday).
Also, on the day of Friday, look for the hour. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“There is an hour on Friday that if a servant calls upon Allāh, he will surely be answered.”
Some narrations it is while the imām is sitting down in Jumu‘ah and other narrations indicate it
is the last hour before maghrib. Some scholars say it switches. The ṣaḥābah took Friday as a
weekly ‘Īd. They were able to go out with their family and do things. It was a special day.
Chapter 9 | The Monthly Wird
Make a planner for yourself on what you need to do in a week, a month, and one day, and one
year.
Fasting “the white days”: 13th, 14th, and 15th of every single month.
Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) took a covenant from him for three: To not sleep except after performing witr, to fast
three days of every month, and to perform the ḍuḥa prayer. (Tirmidhi)
Recognize what month you are in!
Pay attention and try to do something within that month. Make sure that you finish the
Qurʾān at least once a month.
Narrated Abu Bakra that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said. “The division of time has
turned to its original form which was current when Allāh created the Heavens and the Earths.
The year is of twelve months, out of which four months are sacred: Three are in succession
Dhu’l-Qa‘dah, Dhu’l-Ḥijjah and Muḥarram, and (the fourth is) Rajab of (the tribe of) Mudar which
comes between Jumāda‘l-Thāniyah and Sha‘bān.” (Bukhāri)
Take advantage of the seasons. Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) said, “Shall I not point you to
an easy reward? Fasting in the winter.” The ṣaḥābah loved to fast in the winter because it was
easy.
Ubayd b. Umayyad said that when the winter came, they would say, “O people of the Qurʾān,
the night has become long so you can pray longer, and the day has become short so you can
fast.
 How much Qur’ān should I have finished?
Once a month? Twice a month? Once a week?
Push yourself and start increasing the load.

Chapter 10 | The Yearly Wird

Ramaḍān
Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) once said “āmīn” three times, and the ṣaḥābah asked him
why he said that. He (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Jibrīl was making du‘ā’. He made du‘ā’
against the person who Ramaḍān comes and goes and he isn’t forgiven for his sins and he
doesn’t change his habits.” Take full advantage of Ramaḍān and prepare for it. The ṣaḥābah
used to get excited six months in advance. They are planning and waiting for it. For other
people, they start getting into Ramaḍān towards the end and by the time they start getting into
it, it is already over. Start preparing for Ramaḍān as much as you can early on.
Narrated Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu): The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh
said, ‘The fast is for Me and I will give the reward for it, as he (the one who observes the fast)
leaves his sexual desire, food and drink for My Sake. Fasting is a screen (from Hell) and there
are two pleasures for a fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the
time when he will meet his Lord. And the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better in
Allāh’s Sight than the smell of musk.’” (Bukhāri)
Narrated Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) that Allāh’s Apostle (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“When the month of Ramaḍān comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of the
(Hell) Fire are closed, and the devils are chained.” (Bukhāri)
 Components of a Fruitful Fast
1. Suḥūr
2. Break it as soon as the sun has set with dates
3. Generosity
4. More good deeds
5. More charity
6. More Qur’ān
7. I‘tikāf the last 10 nights
 Degrees of Fasting
1. Ordinary Fasting
2. Special Fasting
3. Extra-Special Fasting
a. Lower your gaze
b. Guard your tongue
c. Guard your ears
d. Keep your limbs pure
e. Once again: Easy on the Biryani!
So how do we achieve taqwa?

The 6 days of Shawwāl
Abu Ayyūb (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said: “Whoever fasts Ramaḍān, then follows it with six from Shawwāl, then that is (equal in
reward) to fasting everyday.” (Tirmidhi)
Imām Mālik said that it can mean six from Shawwāl itself or it can be mean six days starting
from Shawwāl, meaning starting from Shawwāl until Ramaḍān. Imām Mālik said that he never
saw the people of Madīnah rushing to finish six days in the month of Shawwāl itself and that it
meant that you do six days of voluntary fasting during the rest of the year on top of Ramaḍān.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said that every good deed is multiplied by ten, so then
you have one month worth of fasting, which covers ten months, and then you fast for six days
which covers the remaining days of the year. This is a mercy for those who cannot finish those
days in Shawwāl for whatever reason.
Try to fast them right away if you have the opportunity because if you don’t do them right
away, you probably never will.
Can you combine intentions between voluntary fasts? Yes. If you decide to fast every Monday
and Thursday, then you can combine the intention of the six fasts with Monday and Thursday.
The fasting of ‘Arafāt, ‘Āshūrā’
Abu Qatādah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“Fast the Day of ‘Arafāt, for indeed I anticipate that Allāh will forgive (the sins) of the year after
it, and the year before it.” (Tirmidhi)
Abu Qatādah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“Fast the Day of ‘Āshūrā’, for indeed I anticipate that Allāh will forgive (the sins of) the year
before it.” (Tirmidhi)
Someone may ask: “Why do I need to fast on ‘Āshūrā’ if I already fasted on ‘Arafāt?”
Answer: ‘Arafāt is from Dhu’l-Ḥijjah which is the last month in the Islamic calendar. If you fast
‘Arafāt in Dhu’l-Ḥijjah 1433, the reward is that the sins of the previous and upcoming years have
been forgiven. ‘Āshūrā’ is in Muḥarram, which is the first month of the Islamic calendar.
‘Āshūrā’ coming up will be 1434, and the reward is the preceding year has been forgiven. When
you fast ‘Arafāt in 1433, you took care of 1432 and 1434. When you fast ‘Āshūrā’ 1434, the
reward is taking care of the previous year 1433. Three years in two days.
Zakāh
People have the misconception that if they pay enough charity, then they don’t have to worry
about zakāh. You have to intend for your zakāh. The companions used to prefer to give in
Ramaḍān and called it sharḥ’l-zakāh.
 Its Effect on the Individual and on Society
It was narrated from ‘Abd’l-Raḥmān b. Ghanm that Abu Mālik al-Ash‘ari told him that the
Messenger of Allāh said, “Iṣbāgh’l-wudū’ is half of faith; alḥamdulillāh (praise be to Allāh) fills the
balance; the tasbīḥ and the takbīr fill the heavens and Earth; the ṣalāh is light; the zakāh is a sign
(of sincerity); patience is an illuminating torch; and the Qur’ān is proof, either for you or
against you.” (al-Nasā’i)
 Enhancing Your Zakāh Experience
1. Understand its significance

2. Give it in secret
3. Avoid taunting or harming people
4. Show humbleness
5. Pay it from what is good
6. Look for the best recipient
a. Righteousness
b. People of knowledge
c. People of pure tawhīd
d. People who don’t ask
e. Large families or handicap
f. The closest of kin come first
It was narrated from Salmān b. ‘Āmir that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Giving
charity to a poor person is charity, and (giving) to a relative is two things, charity and
upholding the ties of kinship.” (al-Nasā’i)
The 10 Days of Dhu’l-Ḥijjah
Ibn ‘Abbās (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said, “There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allāh than those ten
days.” They said, “O Messenger of Allāh! Not even jihād in Allāh Cause?” The Messenger of
Allāh said, “Not even jihād in Allāh’s Cause, unless a man were to out with his self and his
wealth and not return from that with anything.” (Tirmidhi)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh has blessed the time of my nation in the
early part of the day.” You are much more productive after fajr because Allāh put barakah in
your time. In Sūrat’l-Fajr, Allāh swore by the most productive time of the year (the 10 days of
Dhu’l-Ḥijjah) and then Allāh said “by the night when it fleets away.” In Ramaḍān, you are more
productive.
These 10 days of Dhu’l-Ḥijjah are more beloved to Allāh than any 10 days in Ramaḍān. Take
advantage of those ten days of the year. If you have the means, make a sacrifice if you have
the means. From the beginning to end of Dhu’l-Ḥijjah, if you are going to make a sacrifice, you
cannot shave, cut your hair, or clip your nails. You cannot do these things until your sacrifice
has been done. Al-Shawkāni said, “This is your way of participating with those on Ḥajj. Also, it
is a sign that everything of your body has been ransomed form Hellfire.” You keep your body
in its natural form as a way of ransoming yourself to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).
Chapter 11 | Once In A Lifetime (Ḥajj)
‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb said, “Whoever has the means to go to Ḥajj but does not go to Ḥajj, let him
die as a Jew or a Christian if he wants.” If you have the means and are financially and
physically able to go, then you go.
Americans whine more than anyone else at Ḥajj. How sad would it be if you go to Ḥajj, the once
in a lifetime journey, and you waste the opportunity. Don’t waste the opportunity!
Before You Go
1. Tawbah
2. Repay debts
3. Don’t leave your family struggling
4. Make amends with people. Allāh will not accept your good deeds because of a quarrel you
had with your brother or sister, so then what would be the point of going?
5. Know your stuff
6. Choose good company. If everyone else is whining, then you feel entitled to.
Inner Meanings of the Manāsik
1. Departure. You are preparing yourself for the journey of death. When a person departs, he
should feel as though he is leaving this world.
2. Iḥrām. When a person goes into iḥrām, recognize that you are wearing the shrouds of death
a. For the ḥajji
b. For the non-ḥajji in the first 10 days of Dhu’l-Ḥijjah
3. Talbiyah. Feel like you are answering the call of Allāh on the Day of Judgment.
4. Entering the Ḥaram. You should feel like you have entered into the presence of Allāh.
5. The Lord of the House
6. The Black Stone. When touching it, feel like you are making allegiance to Allāh.
7. al-Multazam. Feel like you are drawing close to your Lord and yearning for Him.
8. Ṭawāf. Realize that Allāh is at the center of your life and you go the way Allāh tells you.
9. Sa‘y. Remember the struggle of Hajar running between the two hills and never losing trust
in Allāh. This is all that life is. The point you start at is the point where you will finish. As
long as you remain trusting in Allāh, Allāh will take care of him.
10. ‘Arafah. Remember the Day of Judgment when Allāh speaks to every individual without any
translator. Millions are making du‘ā’ in hundreds of languages, and Allāh is answering all of
them.
11. Ramy. Remember that these are the places where Ibrāhīm (‘alayhi’l-salām) and his family
were tempted by the Shayṭān.
12. Madīnah. Feel as if you are entering into the presence of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam). Remember that this is where he sat, spoke, stood, ate, did khuṭbah, led ṣalāh.
Envision the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and the ṣaḥābah around him. Imām Mālik
would only walk barefoot in Madīnah out of how humbled he felt to be in that city.
Qualities of the Ḥajji
1. Slave not master. Most people from the US ruin their Ḥajj. Don’t be one of those people.
As a slave, you completely forfeit any rights to the master. When you get there, have no
expectations whatsoever. Don’t care about what happens but just be happy that you are
there. People travel by bike and foot to reach Ḥajj. Some people have to figure out their
food on a daily basis, and they feel honored to be there.
2. Guest not host. A guest doesn’t feel entitled to anything unless the host decides to give it
to you. Deal with your travel agency after Ḥajj but not while you are there.
3. Ḥajji not tourist. One of the greatest tragedies Shaykh Omar witnessed was when the Saudi
authorities allowed people to take pictures everywhere. Everyone wants to take their
picture in the Ḥaram. People sit there and take 40 pictures in the Ḥaram and the rest of the
time shopping. This is your once in a lifetime chance to get it right.
‘Abdullāh b. Mubārak has a touching story. He would make Ḥajj one year and jihād the other
year. One year when he was in Ḥajj, he had a dream that two angels were talking to each other
and saying, “Do you see all these people coming to Ḥajj? Allāh has not accepted from a single
one of them, and all of their Ḥajj went to waste.” He woke up scared. Then he slept and he
dreamt, “Allāh accepted the Ḥajj of all of them because of a man named ‘Ali b. Mu‘fiq.” He was
a shoe repairman who had saved to go to Ḥajj. His neighbor fell into poverty, so he gave all the
money to his neighbor and made du‘ā’ to Allāh to accept. It is all about your intention.
Make du‘ā’: “O Allāh, I want to go, facilitate the means.”
How badly do you want to go to Ḥajj?
How badly do you want it to be accepted?

Final Note: Overwhelmed?

Abu Hurayrah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “One who weeps out of fear of Allāh, will not enter the Hell until milk returns back
in the udder; and the dust raised on account of fighting in the path of Allāh and the smoke of
Hell will never exist together.” (Tirmidhi)
Cry over your situation. Shed tears tonight. Cry! Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“There are two eyes that will never touch the Hellfire.” One of them is the eye that shed tears
for the sake of Allāh. Abu Bakr said, “Even when you are not able to cry when you are making
du‘ā’, try to force yourself to cry. Make your face as if you are crying until it becomes real.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was asked, “What are the keys to survival?” The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Hold your tongue, cry over your sins, feel comfort in
your home (have a portion of solitude).” You need to cry.
We cry over movies we know are not real and watch television and shed tears, but we don’t
shed tears over our possibility of being doomed for eternity? This is a problem! Force yourself
to feel sorry and cry. Try to make the changes.
Do not stand [for prayer] within it - ever. A mosque founded on righteousness from the first
day is more worthy for you to stand in. Within it are men who love to purify themselves; and
Allāh loves those who purify themselves. (al-Tawbah: 108)
Allāh says, “Allāh loves those who engage in the process of spiritual purification.” Al-Qushayri
says Allāh loves you just for trying. As long as you are trying and engaged in the process of
spiritual purification, Allāh loves you for that.
YouTube Video:
The Description of Paradise (Jannah)
The other way to get the angels to make du‘ā’ for you is to make du‘ā’ for your brother. The
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “When you make du‘ā’ for your brother or sister
behind his back, the angels say, ‘Āmīn. And for you the same.’”
Many of us will feel a spiritual high now and it may wear off. Don’t lose hope. Start off with
realistic goals. Start with the basics, and inshā’Allāh you will see the change and rise.

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Qabeelat Madinatayn | Student Notes

Edited by Qabeelat Durbah July 2012

A Share of Recitation and Memorization of the Qur’ān ........................................................... 137

Unit 1 | A Journey Of Introspection: The Process of Purification

Chapter 1 | Understanding Your Role

And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it

Fitnah is the ever companion to mankind.

Allāh gives us fitnah to make things easy for us.

We need hardship in our life because it is Allāh purifying us.

Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla) purifies us in other ways.

Chapter 2 | Understanding Your Enemy

Chapter 3 | Understanding Change

Guidance is from Allāh

Allāh doesn’t force us into misguidance.

The first excuse: “We are born this way.”

The second excuse: Self-pity

The How’s and When’s of Change

1. Things that cannot be changed.

4. Things that can go both ways

Chapter 4 | Understanding Yourself

How far away are you?

Baṣar vs. Baṣīrah

The Himmah Never Dies

Chapter 5 | Experiencing Change

Unit 2 | Making the Change

Allāh is preferring the people of knowledge. Allāh also says:

Being Purified by Knowledge

 Choosing the Right Scholar

 Acting upon the Knowledge

 Practice What You Preach

 Don’t Preach What You Don’t Practice

Imām al-Ghazāli said there are three types of students of knowledge:

Imām al-Ghazāli said there are three difficulties of knowledge:

 Establishing an Environment of Accountability

 Developing the Attitude of a True Student

1. The role of the people of knowledge

2. The company of the righteous

3. Consider what your enemies say about you

4. Learn from the flaws of people around you

5. People of all ages

6. Your family members

7. People above you and below you

Chapter 2 | Minding Your Own Business

For your own good

Giving the benefit of the doubt

 What it says about your condition

Chapter 3 | Treating Destructive Flaws

 Everything is treated with its opposite.

 Prevention vs. Restoration

View every forbidden act as a war against Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta‘āla).

 Loving dunya (the world) too much

 Consider the disease worse than its expression.

Curing Bad Character

- What is the meaning of khuluq?

- Why it matters so much

- What is the proper measure of it?

‘Umar Ibn’l-Khaṭṭāb ‫ رضي‏هللا‏عنه‬said:

The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,

The Prophet ‫ صلى‏هللا‏عليه‏وسلم‬said,

Al-Mutafayhiqoon – Someone who speaks condescendingly. There is a difference between

Dealing with the problem of talking too much:

a. Al-Jadal al-Mahmood – Praiseworthy Arguing. This is debating with wisdom and

What backbiting looks like: