What it takes to become a Closer

This article might be astray from a “nice” mindset to meet women. If you want a “nice”
mindset when it comes to meeting women go out with your buddies, talk to some girls
and take it from there. But if you’re tired of doing that and you want to consistently pick
up chicks then this is for you.

Do you know the difference between guys that got laid this weekend and the guys that
went home alone with a conciliatory phone number?

I’ll sum it up in a few words:

 Intent.
 Commitment.
 Identity.

This article is for the advanced guys that aren’t looking for another damn trick to add to
their pick up repertoire. You know you don’t need all that stuff anyway. Intent. Not to
get all Gordon Gekko on you guys, but Sun-Tzu mentions in his book The Art of War
that the battle is won and lost not on the battlefield, but in the mind. That is way deeper
than I want this article to be. My point is that guys go out for the night with murky intent
in their head and that translates to ZERO results in the field.

“I’m going to practice a new routine.”

“I’m going to do some kino.”

Or the absolute worst: “Let’s just see what happens tonight.”

Whether you are an absolute beginner or a veteran to the bar scene you should go out
every night with this mentality: “I’m closing tonight.”

The first thing I ask a guy when I’m working with him: “What’s your intent?” If he
doesn’t know or stumbles through some weak answer I already know how the night is
going to end for him. Before the night starts you must be narrow-minded on closing.

Commitment.

So now that you have a rock solid intent, what do you do? You go after it! You close!
What else is there? Disneyland?

Sometimes it’s easy.

A while ago I was teaching in New York. I stepped out of the bar with a client to debrief
an interaction he had just been in. I saw a cute girl sitting by herself at a falafel house. I
started talking to her. Made her comfortable (the two most important things to seduction
are comfort and trust) and brought her inside the bar to meet my friends. I took her
outside at the end of the night and told her exactly what I wanted to do with her. I call it
seducing them with specifics.

“First I’m going to slide this shirt over your head, then I’m going to get completely naked
and press myself up against you and…” you see where I’m going, right? Be specific.
Paint a picture of what it’s going to be like with you. Art, when it comes to seduction,
should be like a Roman sculpture - realistic, instead of fuzzy like a watercolor painting.
She took me home right after that. Other times it’s hard to commit. Especially when a
bunch of other stuff is going on. Case in point: girls that don’t show a lot of interest.
Guys freak out over this too much. I swear, the modern man does not know how to lead.
If you are properly leading the girl it does not matter if she is showing interest (or IOIs as
some call it).

That’s why I think a lot of people misunderstand Juggler Method. It’s based on leading
whereas some others are based on protecting the ego and fabricating unrealistic situations
where the girl leads you. But that’s not the point here. The point is you have to know
what you want (INTENT) and then go for it (COMMIT).

I was with a girl that didn’t show interest other than she stuck around. I remember the
first night we went out together. What was my intent? “I am going to close.” She was
cold. Stiff hug, not a lot of touching at first. That’s where guys screw up. They only
escalate if they get signals from the girl that she wants them to. That’s insanity. Who they
hell ever taught you that?

Oh yeah. Mystery.
(Just kidding, don’t write me hate mail.)

But seriously, that is the wrong thing to do. Know your intent and then commit to
following it. So I started heating things up with this girl anyway. As we’re walking along
the street I turn my hand towards her and say “Hand.” She complies and puts her hand in
mine. She was wearing a form-fitting black dress. Her boobs were like popping out of it.
As we’re walking down the street guys heads are turning. The guys from the boroughs
(hey, I lived in Jersey so I am too) were calling out to her “Damn, look at that fine ass!
Baby, come here and let me holla at you.” Let’s face it. Most guys freak out when
another guy shows interest in their girl. They will put their arm protectively around her.
They will pull her close like a little boy on the playground that doesn’t want to lose his
turn in line for the slide. Eff that. I winked at my girl and lightly shoved her away. She
looked over at me shocked and nuzzled back up to me.

Later at the bar guys offered to buy her drinks all night. She looked at me (to see if I
would lead). I said “Listen, I don’t care if some guy buys you a drink. You look amazing
tonight. But I will say this: I hate it when a girl I’m with gets drunk and needs a
babysitter. That’s a huge turnoff.” Part of being able to lead, guys, is allowing the girl
you’re with to make the conscious decision that she wants to be with you. That is where
her real commitment to you comes from. So to all you guys asking “How do I get
commitment from a girl?” there is your answer.

As we’re leaving the bar my girl sits on a couch to adjust the strap on her heels. A big
bouncer comes over. Fuck. The staff at this place is notorious for keeping girls in the club
for “the after party.” Here’s how it worked: the management would instruct the staff to
usher the girls into the VIP section. The management also instructed the staff to find a
reason to remove the guys.

“No sitting here,” he says to me. I am standing in front of my girl as she’s fixing her
shoe.

“Right, we’ll be out in just a second,” I respond.

“You can’t sit here,” he repeated looking directly at me.

I looked at my girl, “Alright baby, lets head home before you have to fight the head
bouncer.”

“Would you like to fight?” he asks me! What is wrong with people? In New York you
never know what you’re going to deal with when it comes to the door staff. Do I want to
fight? No, for two reasons.

1. I would lose
2. I would lose the girl

And what was my intent? To close. Hot heads would lose it here. But that’s what happens
when you’re out with an attractive woman in a competitive city. Hot heads, guys with an
ego will prove, at this point, that they are not committed to getting the girl. Don’t do that.
Know your intent and commit to it.

I cracked the biggest, friendliest smile I could. “Fight? With you? Hell no, man. Go get a
smaller guy. Give me something I can win.” Then I slapped him on the back like old
buddies. He laughed and we did the bro hug. My girl finished messing with her shoe, we
left the place with no other problems.

Outside I hailed a cab and opened the door for her and hopped in. “What’s your
address?” She told me where she lived and I repeated it for the driver. We get out of the
cab a few blocks later. There are apartment buildings all around. “Which one is yours?” I
asked. She took me to a bench in the pavilion by her apartment. We sat down. I figured
she wasn’t comfortable bringing me into her apartment yet. I pulled her close on the
bench and started talking about myself. That is the easiest way to build comfort and trust
with someone. Until they know who you are you’re still a stranger. The night wore on.
She said she was cold. That is a sign. Trust your instincts. I took her hand and led her to
her apartment, inside and up to her floor. I walked in. She wants to talk on the couch. She
was stalling. I understand. Sleeping with someone is sometimes a big commitment for a
woman. There is no point to push things or get greedy. Don’t rob the bank. We talk and
make out more. “Where are you staying tonight?”

“Here,” I answered. And that was the first time we hooked up. If you get anything out of
this story it should be that in the field there are a ton of things that will come up and get
in your way of getting with your girl. Do not let them.

Identity.

Back when I was teaching boot camps every weekend in New York I met a lot of clients
that just wanted a girlfriend. They didn’t want to be out every weekend talking to girls at
a meat market. I can respect that. Here’s what I told them:” Get so good at picking up
women that you don’t care about having a girlfriend anymore. Only at that point in your
own personal development will you be someone capable of having a real relationship.”

Get ready for a controversial statement: I think most people aren’t capable of having real
relationships. I believe that because I think most people get into relationships because
either

1) they are afraid to be alone or

2) it’s easier to have someone to bring around at Christmas time.

But this type of change has to start within. It can’t be based on the reactions you get from
women or your peers. It has to be something that you made for yourself. You won’t be a
closer until you make yourself one. You might know your intent (”Tonight I am going to
close”). You may be committed to it. But until you believe that you’re the type of person
who does this naturally all the time it won’t feel right.

And some guys stop and give up when they try to change their habits and it doesn’t
always feel right. That’s when it’s time to ask for help. Check out the schedule to sign up
for a boot camp with an instructor who will kick your ass until you know how to lead -
not just a woman, but yourself as well. I hope this hit home for some of you guys. I
believe that when the time is right these articles will make sense, so if it doesn’t speak to
you now come back in a few months.

Now I want to know what you think. Leave me some comments and let me hear your
thoughts and feel free to ask me to write on another subject.