TRUE LOVE VS IDEAL LOVE

Love is a topic that has been talked about and debated since the dawn of time
itself. People have confused true love and ideal love for centuries. Even
Shakespeare, the greatest poet of all time, could not fully describe what love was.
Indeed it is hard to tell the difference between the two at a glance, but if one digs
deeper. The difference becomes more starkly outlined.
Let us first look at true love. How do you know if the love you possess is true
love not ideal love? Firstly, true love happens when an individual is capable of
seeing the flaws and limitations of his or her partner. Be it a quick temper or a
constant need to worry, the person is able to acknowledge that his partner has
issues and what’s most important of all, he is able to accept it. Accept it and if it
becomes something that will ruin the relationship between them, be willing to
find a way to work around it.
Ideal love however is more of a case of infatuation where the individual, being
wholly infatuated with the other person, is unable to realize or see the flaws and
shortcomings of his partner. He will either be totally blind to it, or if he senses it,
will brush it away and enter a stage of denial. The outcome will be disastrous to
the relationship if at the end the person finally come to terms with the fact that
his lover is not as perfect as he deemed her to be. It could take many signs for
him to realize this and upon realizing it, he may not be able to accept the
imperfection and become disillusioned with the relationship. Thus, it may end on
a dark note.
Another aspect that differentiates true love from what the world deems today
as ideal love is, ideal love leans more on emotions. Ideal love, being the kind of
love that teenagers and adults alike, view as being perfect, is actually totally run
on feelings that two people share. So therefore, if a person feels like he loves
someone, he will be the perfect gentleman to her, caring, thoughtful, and witty.
Pampering her in every way imaginable. However, emotions are fickle things.
They change every so often like the seasons that come and go. As quickly as the
person developed feelings for someone else, it may go just as fast. So the
question is, what happens when the feelings disappear? The relationship then
crumbles to bits because it doesn’t have a strong foundation. Relationships can’t
survive on mere feelings.
True love however, tells a rather different story. While ideal love starts at
feelings of infatuation, true love, which may at first also start out the same, grows
deeper. A person learns to be devoted to the other person significant in their
lives. They learn how to care genuinely, out of a devotion to each other. They
care even though they may constantly harass one another, even when at times
they may seem to hate each other, but they still take steps to preserve their
relationship. In such a relationship, emotion takes a backseat in the big picture.
Yes, emotions are important, but they learn to support each other and be there
for one another even if they feel like they can’t emotionally at the moment. It’s
more towards something that is learned the hard way over time, than something
that is acquired at the snap of your fingers. It’s not something you have no
control of or think you have, it’s a decision, a commitment.
One very obvious characteristic of ideal love has been much hyped about and
publicized, especially via the mass media such as the television and internet.
That would be the supposedly mandatory giving of gifts, especially lavish ones to
the girl or guy. This may occur at random or for birthdays or Valentines Day.
Valentines Day of course, has been overrated by the masses. Nowadays, if you do
not present your beloved with a special token of your affection (roses, teddy
bears, chocolates, jewelry , clothing, cash etc)you may hurt the feelings of your
partner who will immediately overreact, thinking that you do not love him or
her. This phenomenon of giving gifts has become such an important symbol of
ideal love that love practically doesn’t exist without it. Gifts are considered an
affirmation of your love towards a person, the ultimate romantic gesture.
True love however, is much more humble. In the case of true love, a person does
not and can not prove his love through giving presents. Love then is showed
through ones deeds and sensitivity towards each other. Through one’s tolerance
and patience and kindness. True love needs no gifts other than a lifelong
commitment to try, try and never stop trying for the person you love.
Insecurity is something that does not exist in true love. It is heartwarming to
see old couples in their twilight years, who are not are so assured of their
relationships with one another. They fear not infidelity nor the lessening of love
for one another. These couples usually do not find it necessary to be in constant
contact with each other or repeatedly profess their love to one another a zillion
times a day. It’s not that they do not want to or love each other less. It’s just that
when you are in a relationship with someone, and the love that you have for one
another is sincere and is true love, you have given all you can give to the other
person. You have given yourself, so much that you become finely attuned to one
another. You can just tell that you love one another , without even uttering a
word. Moreover, after all the care, patience, love and understanding that has
been given everyday, the amount of love they have for one another has already
been proven.
Not so for ideal love. As mentioned earlier, ideal love is something that is based
on emotion. So when a person feels especially loving one day, he or she will be
especially attentive and loving. However when he is not in the mood, then
perhaps he or she may not bother so much or even check out someone else.
There is no permanent bond or security. Thus, many times in ideal love, a person
feels the need to constantly hear the words “ I LOVE YOU” or to feel physical
contact and be close. They need to be reassured.
Ideal love can be libeled as being rather selfish. The reason being, in ideal love,
one focuses on what one can get or achieve. Ideal love is all about perfect love.
Having the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, having the perfect companionship,
getting sexual gratification, happiness, gifts, affection and more. In the case
where a person does give instead or receiving, it’s only to make the other person
happy, so that in return they might maintain the relationship and its benefits.
They give, to receive and there is usually a limit.
True love begs to differ. True love is the direct opposite of ideal love as the
individual gives without reserve and without hoping for any sort of
reimbursement. A person who is truly in love, hopes and wants nothing more but
to give their effort and time to make the other person happy. To struggle besides
them in times of trial, to comfort and to hold when life seems unbearable, to be
the one who trusts them wholly when no one else will. True love does not need
to be reciprocated. It is sufficient merely to be given. Whether or not the other
party chooses to appreciate it or not, it matters not to the giver of true love. In
many ways true love can be seen through the eyes or a mother. A mother gives
her all for her child. She may give her time, effort, energy, and even lay down her
life for the sake of the child. For whatever makes the child happy and prosper in
life, even if in the future, the child turns back to spit on the mother. She will still
love him in her heart.
True love should be what a person aims for in life in adverse to ideal love. The
views of the world about ideal love is overrated and has warped the true
meaning of love into something that is cheap, gaudy and temporary. Just like a
fair passing through, that may at first seem bright, beautiful and colorful in the
night, but when daylight comes, is revealed to be dull, lifeless and will not stay.
People should focus more on true love, for though it may seem hard and not
nearly as attractive as the frills and thrills of ideal love, it is something solid and
dependable. It will grant you a life of stability, love and an eternity of care. One
thing is for sure, you can count on someone to be there for you to hold your hand
no matter what, to guide you through life’s storms. Nothing can tear true love
apart