Gender Communication

Definition: Gender communication is communication about and between men and women.

An individual’s sex is determined at conception as it depends on the combination of

chromosomes – combination XX makes a female, XY makes a male. This is fixed before birth.
However, the terms “masculine” and “feminine” are not fixed; these are socially constructed.

We can refer to a man as being feminine; we can refer to a woman as being masculine.

We label some cultures as masculine cultures and others as feminine cultures.

People often complain that men don’t understand women; women don’t understand men.

Men and women communicate differently.

There is an obvious male-bias in how cultures stereotype men and women.

For instance, there is a negative connotation behind statements such as: 

“He fights like a woman.”

“He dances like a woman.”

“He plays golf like a woman.”

“He writes like a woman.”

Implication: He’s less than a man.

We never hear: “She dances, punches, or serves (as in tennis) as a man.”

Most societies have been dominated by men. Our languages reflect such a bias.

Consider the following statements.

All men are created equal. (Why don’t we say all people are created equal?)

Man does not live on bread alone. (As if women can.)

If a consumer wants something he must pay for it.

Until about two hundred years ago, women were neither expected nor permitted to write.

All writing was done by men. This explains the male bias in all languages.
Men and women communicate differently. They use verbal and nonverbal communication
differently. They also express their emotions differently.

Men often use more assertive “I” language. Women rely more on the “we” language -- the
language of collaboration.

One of the slides in the PowerPoint for this unit presents the feminine and masculine speech
goals. It lists the differences in what men and women expect to accomplish through their
communication. [more about this when we discuss verbal communication and “speech acts.”]

Women are likely to use more jewelry and different colors in their clothing than men.

Space and territory

Traditionally, men’s space in the house is the garage, women’s space is the kitchen and the
sewing area.

Women are more likely to use touch to express support and caring by touching someone on the
shoulder or hugging them. Men often use touch in order to direct the actions of others. Men
also use touch to display affection and desire for their romantic partners, to communicate
caring and closeness to children, and to show support to friends. Men and women use body
language differently and to convey different meanings.

Men use their bodies to signal strength and control. They tend to take up more space and
invade others’ space more often than women.

Women use their bodies to communicate approachability and friendliness.

Women smile more often than men and make more eye-contact than men.

Women use more listening noises “mmm,” “ah,” and “oh” that are accompanied by the
nodding of the head implying, “I am listening to what you are saying. Keep going.”

Men also make listening noises, they do so less frequently and often the meaning is: “I agree.”

Use of Silence. Throughout history, women have been silenced in all cultures. Generally, the
achievements of females have been silenced, thus, women hesitate to speak out against social
and economic injustices, sexual assaults, harassment, violence, or rape.

The previous generations have done an awful job of creating equality and justice. Hopefully,
your generation will change such gender rules and strive for equality for all.