From the school counsellor’s diary:

Yesterday, a young man of 19 was brought in for counselling. His mentor had only a few things to tell
me- that he is repeating his 1st year of Engineering, he has attempted to end his life, he is definitely
on drugs.

I can understand that people come to see me only because they have problems. So it’s a little
difficult to focus on the positives; but I certainly do not condone the attitude this man had- to find a
flaw and fixate on it. The “mentor” was so focused on finding a solution to the “problem” (mostly in
the form of palming him off to someone else), that he did not even see how deeply distressed the
student was.

We are always in the business of educating our younger generation- as parents, teachers, friends,
professionals, public figures. Young people are always learning something through the simple
accident of watching us or being around us. What we need to focus on is the fact that our kids are
reading between the lines, they are looking right through us at the real us. The one that said
something mean, judgy and most probably untrue.

After we resolved the problem of exams that was the primary concern, and after having convinced
the boy that he would come back for more help, I sent a message to the mentor thanking him for his
initiative and support. I was quite horrified at the response I got, “Madam, I pray that no one ever
gets a mentee like this boy”. This, from a teacher, whose job exists because there are still students
who want to come to college and not do things online by themselves.

If we cannot treat others with kindness, compassion and basic human dignity, then surely we cannot
expect others to mete out the same treatment to us. We have to quit judging others, we have to
learn to accept and learn about others before we form an opinion about them.

All I want to know from my esteemed colleague who holds this lofty position of “mentor” is, how
would you have liked it, if I had called you fat? Even if I had asked you about your weight with a
genuine concern for your health, you would have hated me for just mentioning your appearance.

Let’s be kind to each other- let’s take a breath, stop to think about what we are saying- it will only
make us better teachers and role-models.

“We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the
future.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt 32ND U.S. PRESIDENT