Mentalities I want to change

As a person, I believe I am kind. Still, I also have many bad habits and mentalities that I
want to eliminate. One bad habit is I always follow every order of my parents. Even if I
am 19 years old, I always do what they want because I do not want to disappoint them,
and I do not wish to receive hurtful words. Because of this habit, I lost time and many
opportunities to have memories like normal children. If I would have courage, I want to
stand up for my right to live and enjoy my life.
Secondly, I am guilty of being silent whenever someone did or said anything
about me. I know that I should voice out my feelings whenever such things happen.
However, the question " What will we become after I say this?" always pass across my
mind. Because I wish to protect my relationship with others, I did not realize that I hurt
too much inside. Thus, when I could not keep it inside anymore, I burst while having no
one to rely on.
Thirdly and lastly, I also want to change my habit of pressuring myself. I always
wanted to do well in school because I believe that I create my future. However, as I got
used to being alone, school became a safe place for me. Unfortunately, this habit
caused me to lose time for myself and my family as well. Consequently, I want to
eliminate this habit and be more courageous in trying other things outside school.