Euphoros II

for V.

A few weeks ago

I didn't know she existed
These days my existence is filled
with thoughts of her
traipsing across my mind
meandering through my grey matter

Now, thoughts of her

are like internet pop up ads
on the wallpaper of my psyche
sometimes here and there
sometimes everywhere

making me wish the time back

Somehow,
wishing we didn't meet
Then I would never have known
The joy of holding you
and won't yearn for more

Somehow,
wishing I drove slower
I acted like I cared less
I didn't jump unto the sofa
I messaged a little bit less

Wishing time back,

Pains come and go

Scars remain
People come and go
Memories remain

Memories of your face and eyes

of your skin
Memories of your laughter and gentleness
Of your tattoos

It feels like I have been waiting

for you
Waiting to meet you
And waiting to know you
Life brings us into each other’s lives
Oft or not we let go and move with life

The algorithm wanted this

Nature brought u my way
You came into my life
silently, unannounced,
unpredictable, unpretentious
and with a stroke of luck or life

Now I want you more

And maybe some more

Its deep and yet not so deep

You don't have to give it back
You owe me nothing as I do I
But my thoughts and feelings are freeform
Free to like, free to hope, free to feel
For what is life without being able to feel

For me to be free, means to open

To open means to allow life to happen
To allow myself to be loved and to love
To allow myself to be free to feel and be felt
To allow myself to make mistakes and better self

Please dont push me away

We could be friends or maybe not

But shouldn’t I at least try?

By the way the doggies miss u too…

J, 22

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