HEART IN THE SNOW

By: Sarah Dignan

<3
Christy watches the seconds tick by. 56…57…58…59…00

She clicks the red button to punch out and hurries towards the front door before she

allows herself to get engulfed in another client’s project. She can NOT work late today. Pausing

by the front door, she realizes she forgot to ensure that the 54” vinyl printer was shut off and

turns back. She checks the printer, clicks the power button, and moves the newly printed banner

back to her office for Monday.

Once outside, her lungs fill with the fresh, crisp autumn air and she practically jumps

into her 2008 grey Chevy Trailblazer LT, nicknamed Henry. She turns the key and shifts into

reverse, backing out of her spot.

The comforting rumble of the engine overtakes her, and she shrugs everything off.

Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” gently hums on the radio. She quickly changes

the channel. “I’m forever yours, faith-” Nope. Not today. She changes the channel again, feeling

a tug on her heart. She clears her throat, focusing on the road ahead as Miley Cyrus moves her

hips in the back of a taxicab while she’s got butterflies; “They know I’m gonna be okay. Yeah,

it’s a party in the USA.”

--

The first time she saw him, she noticed his eyes, soft green with gold flecks. He stood

taller than her 5’6” figure, probably like 5’10”. She was walking to her robotics meeting when he

stopped her on the sidewalk.

“Excuse me miss; can you tell me how to get to Hamilton Court?”

 She smiled shyly, not used to being talked to in general, especially by attractive men,

who also happen to be heading to the same building as her. “Uhhhh….ummmmm” she stumbled

over her words. Pull yourself together, Christy. “I am heading that way now, actually. I have a

robotics meeting there.”

He smirked at her, and THOSE EYES! Oh, my goodness gracious. Her cheeks warmed

and she looked down to study the intricate details of the sidewalk beneath the fallen leaves. Wow,

that leaf looks gorgeous.

--

The road is grey, the sky is sad and ready to open up. The sun is hiding, behind the

autumn clouds, a chill in the air. Snow hasn’t graced these grounds yet, but it is only October.

The clouds lack their cotton candy appeal, and the horizon seems to drudge into nothing. Christy

sighs, allowing herself to relax behind the wheel. The leather is comfortable beneath her hands.

She takes a left turn to leave the office parking lot, where she normally takes a right, and heads

towards the interstate. A photo fell from above her visor as she turned. Christy, with Noah, both

in red with cheesy grins slapped on their faces.

--

Christy had frantically searched for her silver flats as her best friend, Evelyn, went to let

Noah into their dorm. She grabbed her jacket and patiently waited for them to arrive at the door.

She looked in the full-length mirror on the back of Evelyn’s door to check her reflection. Gosh,

is my hair okay? I haven’t done curls in AGES! She gently fluffed it again. She quickly did a

little spin to see how her red lace dress looked. Before she could finish a full spin, she heard

rustling and noises approaching the door. Evelyn and Noah.

 Evelyn refused to let Noah in their dorm room without a grand exit for Christy so they

could go on their date, and Christy couldn’t help but smile. “Alright, Noah. On the count of

three,” Evelyn said to cue Christy from the other side of the door. “1…2…” the door swung open

“3!”

Christy blushed, as she looked up from the floor into the entry way where Noah stood in

black dress pants, dress shoes, and a red dress shirt with a black tie. She chuckled to herself.

“Sooooo, did Evelyn tell you I would be wearing my red dress tonight?” Noah’s mouth moved

so he did the little smirk and man THOSE EYES again!!! Her cheeks warmed again. “No,

actually, this is the only dress shirt I have.” They both laughed. Evelyn just stood there, smiling

like a mom at prom. “Okay, kids, get together and smile,” she said as Noah and Christy put their

arms around each other and smiled for the camera. Awkward.

--
The road curves as the on-ramp approaches. Christy takes it, curving up and to the right

before she merges left, heading south. She grabs the photo that has fallen into her lap and tosses

it into the back seat, ignoring it. The trees come and go in patches, great expanses of fields taking

their place. Even the corn seems to droop. Leaves gently float across the road, mixed greens,

yellows, and oranges. They’re free, from cares, responsibilities. The trees let them go. There

always comes a time to let go. But I’m not ready…

--

It was the first snow. There was a blizzard all through the night, so the university

cancelled classes for the day. That evening, Christy shivered in her dorm room, which was dimly

lit by the Christmas tree that rested on top of her mini fridge. “Knock knock,” said Noah while

he was knocking on the open door to announce his presence.

 “Come in!” Christy said, as she closed her computer and stood to greet him. She had

burritoed herself, a fuzzy blanket around her shoulders, plaid pajama pants, fuzzy socks and

rubber ducky slippers hugging her feet.

Noah laughed as soon as he saw her.

“What?!” Christy asked defensively. “It is officially the GREATEST time of the year!

It’s time for fuzzy socks, hot chocolate, cozy blankets, CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!!!” She

wiggled like a young girl, shivering with excitement. Gently playing in the background, Mariah

Carey began to play, “the snow’s comin’ down.”

Christy chimed in, “I’M WATCHIN’ IT FALL!”

Noah interrupted, “Christy, it’s November 10th! We still have to get through

Thanksgiving! AND the snow stopped early this afternoon” he chuckled and shook his head.

She rolled her eyes. “BABY, PLEASE COME HOOOMEEE!”

She jumped onto her desk chair, and she held her invisible microphone in front of her

face. “The church bells in toooooown. Are ringing in soooooong. Full of haaaaappy sounnddds.

BABY, PLEASE COME H-!”

Noah grabbed her by her waist, cutting off the lyric as he lifted her down to the floor. He

wrapped his arms around her middle and gently rubbed his nose against hers. Her heart

practically beat out of her chest. Thump thump. Thump thump. He seemed to ask permission,

with just his eyes. Christy couldn’t pull her gaze from his. She nodded her head, and her mind

went into a daze.

His lips were soft and warm. Fireworks seemed to go off behind her. His arms created a

strong, safe, embrace. Her mind danced and sang. She was Cinderella finally able to get her kiss
after Prince Charming found her to be the owner of the glass slipper. She was Ariel, who had just

gotten her voice back and could finally tell Eric it was her.

This was her Disney princess moment.

Once the kiss ended, Noah just held her close to him. Best snow day ever.

Christy looked up at Noah, who gazed out the window. “Christy, look, it’s snowing.” All

she could do was smile.

--

The interstate stretches as far as she can see. Long, boring, plain. My life without

Noah…stop. Can’t think like that today. The heavens open up, rain splashing on her windshield.

Darker clouds have rolled in, making the already bleak landscape grimmer. Christy looks closer

at the droplets, finding that they are turning to snowflakes. Soft, white flakes begin drifting their

way down to the ground. Oh, October. So unpredictable. A single tear finds its way to her eye.

--

Christy watched the flames dance above the crackling coals. They licked at the wood

blocks and slowly turned them to ash. Noah walked up behind her and put his hands on her hips.

She could feel his warm breath softly brush against her ear, a chill moved down her spine and

she shivered.

“Are you cold?”

Christy nodded. Noah quickly kissed her cheek, “I’ll grab you a blanket; be right back.”

“Okay, thanks babe.” Even in the dark, she could see his smirk light up his face as he

walked towards the house.

Christy stretched her arms out, palms facing the fire, as she tried to warm up a little. Her

eyes wandered around the yard, eventually moving up to where the big dipper sat in the sky. She
pulled Noah’s oversized camp chair close to the fire ring. The thudding of his footsteps gave him

away before wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. “Here you go, my lady.” Mockingly, he

bowed, which has made her chuckle.

“Oh, why thank you, kind sir, you are dismissed now,” Christy shot back with a dismissal

wave of her hand, the other holding her blanket as her royal cape, draped to gently touch the

ground.

Noah laughed, cupping her face with his hands. Christy felt the gentle movement of his

thumbs on her cheeks. Those eyes… They seemed to ignite, the reflection of the fire ablaze

within them. She moved her hands to his shoulders, and she watched his eyes flick from her lips

to her eyes. Christy slowly moved up on her tippy toes as she pulled her face closer to his. He

smiled and rubbed his nose on hers, an Eskimo kiss. “I love you, Christy.”

She felt her cheeks warm and wrapped her arms around his middle, as she nestled her

face in the crevice of his neck. “I love you too,” she whispered.

--

The tear gently moves its way down her cheek, falling onto her left hand, which rests in

her lap. Another follows swiftly, wetting the small diamond nestled on her ring finger. The radio

seems to mock her, playing Pharrell Williams’ Happy over the speakers of her car. “Because I’m

happy. Clap along if you fe-” Christy shuts the radio off. I can’t. I just…I can’t… Tears fall at a

faster pace, Christy frantically wiping her eyes. C’mon Christy, pull yourself together.

--

Christy was late for robotics practice. She hopped in her vehicle and drove the 10 minutes

to the build space, where she, her roommate, Noah, and his roommate had a team of high school

students that they volunteered with. As she pulled up to the building, she spotted one of the
students’ heads peering out of the window. It quickly disappeared as she stepped out of the

vehicle, heading towards the door. She opened the door and found her roommate, and best

friend, Evelyn, looking guilty. The workspace was quiet, too quiet. All the students stood around,

staring, as if anticipating what was to come.

“Soooo…how was wooooork?” Evelyn asked with a nudge and a knowing smile.

“Evelyn, what is going on?” Christy asked, confused.

Isaiah, one of the students, shot Evelyn a dirty look. “Hey Christy, can I show you the

new mirror in the bathroom?”

Christy looked at him suspiciously. “Uh huh, so what is actually going on?”

The familiar sound of traction wheels moving on the cement floor made Christy look up

to find the team robot moving towards her with a sign zip tied to the shooter mechanism.

“Follow me” she read aloud. “Where is there to follow? We are in a storage unit with only a

small bathroom and a bunch of objects just lying around.”

No sounds were made from the students and the robot moved from side to side, as if

waiting for her response. “Okay, lead the way.”

She looked up to find Braze and Zylan standing with the robot’s joysticks in hand as they

drove the robot towards the bathroom, with Isaiah leading the way.

The bathroom was dimly lit with about a hundred candles, several dozens of roses were

placed throughout the space. In the center of the room, between the sink and the toilet, she found

Noah, wearing a black suit and tie, on one knee. Behind him stood David, the team’s safety

captain, with several handfuls of rose petals in his hands.

“Christy, you are the most special person in my life. I love you with every part of

my being.”
 He pulled a box from his pocket and opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring Christy

had ever seen. Christy’s hands moved swiftly to her face, as she stood in the doorway.

This canNOT be happening!

“I am kneeling before you today, asking you to make me the happiest man in the world,

by you becoming my wife. I know this isn’t a fancy restaurant, or your favorite concert. But, it

was robotics, and ultimately the meeting that formed this team, that brought us together.”

Tears streamed down Christy’s face and her smile showed through her fingers.

“I thought it was only fitting that it also be the location of this moment, with these

students. So, my beautiful lady, will you give me the honor of becoming your husband? Will you

marry me?”

Christy removed her hands from her face, “YES! YES! YES!” She ran towards him, and

he stood to catch her in the nick of time. He hugged her tightly, spinning her in circles, before

stopping to place the ring on her finger.

“I love you, Christy.”

“I love you, Noah.”

He kissed her as David happily showered them in rose petals, while standing on the toilet

seat. There was true magic in one of the least likely places.

--

Pulling over to the side of the interstate, Christy can’t contain the tears any longer. She

gets out of the vehicle and stands in the snow, allowing the flakes to land on her skin. She sits in

the lightly snow-covered grass and leans against her tire. Her head falls between her knees, and

she gives in to the pain, the suffering.

--
 Christy sat in her room, on the floor, with her head between her knees. She was upset,

PISSED, really. Just focus on your breathing. In, out. In, out. It’s stupid. It’s petty. We shouldn’t

fight about this. Her binder sat on the floor in front of her, with color palettes, magazine dress

clippings, and menus sprawled across the floor. Notebook papers filled with lists of names

surrounded her. No, you shouldn’t be the only one planning the wedding while Noah is “out of

town for work” for the third time this month. HE’S the one who decided what the budget is for

the wedding, but isn’t helping me plan it. I feel like I haven’t seen him since we got engaged.

She heard the front door to their apartment open. “Christy?”

She didn’t answer. Rather, her anger bubbled within her as she sat in the center of all the

wedding planning materials.

Noah slipped off his shoes, and she heard his jacket fall onto a chair with a thud.

“Christy, baby, you home?”

Still, she refused to answer. She was alone, tired, and stressed out. Evelyn had been one

vacation with her boyfriend for almost two weeks and wasn’t supposed to return for a few days

still and Noah just, hadn’t been there.

Noah walked into their bedroom, where Christy was surrounded by paper. “What is

going on here?”

“We are supposed to get married in just a few months and I have had to make all the

decisions. I have picked our church, our paster, our flowers, our caterer, our colors. I have had to

make all the decisions. My maid of honor has been gone for weeks and I haven’t seen you in so

long. I am out of my mind stressed.”

Noah moved back a couple steps, surprised. “Christy, baby, I told you. I have had to

leave for work.”

 “Out of town for work,” Christy said doing air quotes. “Why didn’t you ever answer my

phone calls? Why didn’t you ever call me back? Answer my texts?”

Noah raised his voice. “Are you insinuating that I am cheating on you?! Woman, I am

going to marry you. The last thing I want is another woman. So, what if I’ve taken the out-of-

town trips? They bring in extra money so we can pay for this wedding. It is going to be

EXPENSIVE, and I want us to be able to afford it, especially with what YOU’RE planning.”

“EXCUSE ME?! You know, if you were HERE, this could be something WE were

planning.” Christy huffed.

“You know what? This is not something worth arguing over when you’ve been stewing

and upset. How about we come back to this after we’ve both had some time to think?”

“FINE! I’ve been left alone long enough, what’s a few more days?!” Christy said as she

pushed him out of their room and slammed the door in his face.

She heard the front door slam and walked out of their bedroom. On the counter, she

found a bouquet of red roses with a card that read “I love you, THIS much” with a drawing of a

T-Rex spreading its arms as far as it can on the front. On the inside, Noah had written “I love

you, baby girl. Sorry for being gone so much in the last couple months. I just wanted you to

know that I am here for you, and I cannot wait for our wedding day.”

Beneath the card and roses, she found a binder. Inside, she found Noah had compiled

wedding swatches, menus, venues, suits, and lists of his own.

She turned back towards their room, crawled into bed, and cried.

--

After a solid 20 minutes of crying, Christy lifts her head and watches the snowflakes

make their way to the ground. Quietly, she whispers, “the snow’s comin’ dooown.” Sniffle. “I’m
watchin’ it fall.” Sniffle. “Lots of people around… Baby please come h-” She finds herself

unable to finish the lyric.

She stretches her arm out, palm up. The flakes to collect in her hand.

Christy finds the energy to stand, walks back to the driver’s side of the car, and gets in.

Her shaking hands find the key and turn it in the ignition. Once again, the rumble of the engine

comforts her as she carries on her way.

--

It was a Thursday and Christy’s last class for the day had just ended. She and Noah got

over their fight that happened a couple weeks before. Her phone rang, an unknown number. She

brushed it off. She was eating lunch with Evelyn, and she never answered numbers she didn’t

know.

“How was class, Evelyn? How’s Jordan doing? Does he regret his decision to study

abroad in Japan yet?”

Christy’s phone lit up. A voicemail. Oh well, I’ll check it later. It’s probably someone

inquiring about whether or not I’ve heard about my car’s extended warranty. She rolled her

eyes. She could just hear the robotic voice.

“Jordan is fine, I suppose. It’s been a few days again since he’s called me.”

Just before Christy could answer, her phone rang again. The same number. She ignored it.

“Dang, really? That’s too bad. Did he say why?”

“Apparently he’s ‘too busy’ with classes and all of his hours sitting in his room watching

Netflix to call his girlfriend.”

Christy’s phone rang again. The same number. What the heck? Christy’s brow furrowed.

“What is it, Christy?”

 “This is the third time this number has called me in the last five minutes.”

“Hand it here. I’ll tell ‘em off for you.”

Christy handed her phone to Evelyn. She clicked the green button and put on her best

British accent. “ello mate. How may I ‘elp yous today?”

Christy rolled her eyes, with a smile, at Evelyn’s TERRIBLE impression.

Evelyn’s face turned serious. “Yeah, Christy Jacobs is here with me now. Yeah, I’m her

roommate. Uh huh. Yeah.” She paled. “Uh huh.” Evelyn gasped and covered her mouth with her

hand. “Yeah. I understand. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” She paused. “Yes, thank you. Yep.

Bye.”

She handed the phone back to Christy and grabbed her jacket. “Christy, we need to go.

There’s been an accident. Noah has been badly hurt and is in critical condition. The nurse said

we need to hurry.”

Christy was overwhelmed with emotion. She didn’t know what to feel. Scared. That is

what she felt. She felt scared, terrified really. They put their jackets on and Christy practically

ran to the bus stop as they waited for it to arrive.

Oh, God, please don’t let him die.

--

“Exit using ramp 195 in half a mile” Christy’s GPS told her as she approached the city of

Sockville, MN. She exits the interstate, taking a deep breath. Silence. No noise except her and

the sound of the vehicle on pavement.

“Turn left on 39th Ave N and then turn right on 5th St and your destination will be on

your right.” Christy does as her GPS demands. The small city looked abandoned. Little mom and

pop shops on every corner.

 “Your destination is on the right.” Yeah, no kidding. I can read the sign.

She shuts off the vehicle, sitting in complete silence for a moment. Her hands grip the

leather tightly as she fights every instinct to turn the key and drive away as fast as possible.

Instead, she lets go, grabs her keys, and exits the vehicle before she can change her mind. She

quickly straightens her black dress, closes the door, and walks towards the building. The sign on

the front reads: “Loving Memory Funeral Parlor.”