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Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy

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A Review of “Breaking the Cycle: Free

Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn
Addiction, and Shame”
a
Bill Herring LCSW, CSAT
a
Private Practice, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Published online: 19 Dec 2012.

To cite this article: Bill Herring LCSW, CSAT (2013) A Review of “Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself
from Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, and Shame”, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39:2, 193-194,
DOI: 10.1080/0092623X.2013.746865

To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2013.746865

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 Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39:193–199, 2013
Copyright © Taylor & Francis Group, LLC
ISSN: 0092-623X print / 1521-0715 online
DOI: 10.1080/0092623X.2013.746865

Book Reviews

Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction,
and Shame, by George N. Collins (with Andrew Adelman). Oakland, CA:
New Harbinger Publications, 2010. 212 pages, $17.95 (paperback), $9.99
(e-book).
Downloaded by [Yale University Library] at 06:43 30 September 2013

Few topics in the field of sexuality are more controversial than how to con-
ceptualize, assess, and treat people who display a pattern of driven prob-
lematic sexual behavior. Even basic issues of nomenclature continue to be
hotly debated: hypersexuality disorder, sex addiction and compulsive sexual
behavior are some of the terms used to describe the persistent inability to
control repetitive, intense sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior that result in
clinically significant distress or impairment.
Over the last quarter century, the sex addiction model, especially as
developed by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., has emerged as the most widely pub-
lished theoretical approach for addressing the causes and consequences
of this destructive sexual behavioral pattern. This elaborate task-centered
model, which includes 12-step recovery principles as one of its several cen-
tral operating tenets, has greatly benefitted untold numbers of people. But
many others, including therapists with different theoretical perspectives, do
not embrace this approach for a variety of reasons that are beyond the scope
of this review. Suffice it to say that one size does not fit all.
One measure of the healthy development of this deceptively complex
field of study is the gradual emergence of diverse treatment models that use
different methods for helping people gain a greater sense of control over
their sexual behavior. It is in this light that Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself
from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame is a welcome addition to
the relatively meager bibliographic resources that exist outside of the prolific
publications describing various components of the Carnes model. While
written for the general population, Breaking the Cycle contains many useful
concepts and strategies that can be helpful to the clinician looking to expand
the available range of techniques for dealing with often-intractable patterns
of compulsive sexual behavior.
The author, George N. Collins, conceives of compulsive sexual behavior
as being simultaneously rooted in a person’s narrative and neurology. He
puts forth a series of techniques that synthesize a combination of mindfulness
training and a form of internal dialogue designed to bring various insuffi-
ciently integrated parts of an individual’s “subpersonalities” into a cohesive
193
 194 Book Reviews

self. Many of the ideas and exercises in this book are designed to help a
person recognize cognitive distortions that lead to compulsive sexual rituals
so that they may be replaced with “what’s always true—your essence, the
essential nature of you” (p. 76).
Collins views most compulsive sexual behavior as a heavily reinforced
maladaptive response to one or more shame-based early life experiences, re-
sulting in an “internalized negative self-object” (p. 108). Such a self-defeating
personal narrative sustains a fundamentally regressive adolescent narcissism
that is highly susceptible to increasing reliance on distorted, compulsive and
egodystonic sexual fantasy and behavior that is not easily constrained by
a reasoned consideration of negative consequences. In order to live in a
manner that is congruent with Collins’ maxim that “it’s your birthright to
Downloaded by [Yale University Library] at 06:43 30 September 2013

have a choice” (p. 129) a person needs to embrace a healthier story line,
develop greater emotional maturity and learn how to effectively modulate
unexpected and intense sexual triggers when they occur.
To accomplish this formidable task, Collins puts forth an integrated
series of exercises with catchy names such as “The Voices In Your Am-
phitheater,” “Your Red Light Guy,” “First Thought Wrong,” “The Blond in
the Beemer,” and “Blue Sky and High Heels.” Each reflects an aspect of his
central premise that a person is more than his or her story, mind, or com-
pulsion. Collins wants the reader to grow well beyond merely breaking the
cycle of compulsive sexual behavior: the ultimate goal is nothing less than
a fuller life of true intimacy, moral integrity, and genuine emotions. That’s a
tall order for one book, and Collins recognizes this by repeatedly reiterating
that the exercises he presents are not complicated but need to be carried out
over time and ideally with a therapist who is familiar with them.
A self-described former sex addict, Collins includes numerous vignettes
from his life to demonstrate the practical applicability of his approach. He
is also obviously a highly creative therapist who uses some unconventional
techniques in his clinical practice to “provoke a serious change” (p. 14) in the
sequence of a person’s sexually compulsive ritual, including accompanying
clients to porn shops and prostitution areas “for moral support or merely to
stir things up” (p. 14).
Part of this book’s considerable appeal comes from its emotional tone.
Decidedly straightforward, occasionally even brusque, Collins never strays
far from a compassionate, encouraging, and essentially visionary stance. He
boldly states, “If you’re not ready to change your life, don’t buy this book”
(p. 9). These are strong words from a confident author, and his refreshingly
directive style will be well received by many readers looking for practical
methods for helping to redirect their lives away from unproductive and
destructive sexual urges.

Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT

Private Practice
Atlanta, Georgia, USA