Hi , love. I know it's hard most of the time . I know it's hard being you.

I wish you didn't have to feel this way ,

because you don't deserve to feel like this and i wish you didn't have to carry these problems on your
own , what i know affects you greatly almost everyday- Your family's expectations, your dreams, peer pressure,
academic stress and so much more. Yet you still wake up every morning and still try to put up a smile so that
people around you wouldn't notice so they wouldn't know how weak you've become from the inside, how much
you long for someone who can change everything and mske everything better and help you rest on their
shoulders so that you can cry your heart out. I want to be that person , I want to be there for that, but I can't
because I am miles away .  I'm sorry mahal.

I know that you suffer there everyday yet you still don't tell me anything because you don't want me to worry but
it is my job to worry, being your boyfriend  is one of the toughest and yet my most loved job of my life. I know
you still feel happiness when I say 'I love you' because the words still sound sweet to your ears, I can feel your
warmth through the screen , i can feel how much you do love me , i can feel butterflies everytime you say how
much you love me .  I can see into your eyes and know that you have been crying the night but I still can't do
anything about it and I feel helpless. I am really sorry.

I still await until the day we meet even though it might take a while . And when that day comes , i will take your
hand and hold it forever so that you don't have to be alone ever . I will hug you so tightly that you will beg for air
and I will make you laugh till you run out of breath. I will take you on long drives and blast our favorite music
and i will kiss you at every red light so that whatever you're going through will never take you away from me.
But you have to wait for me till that happens ,i know it'll take quite some time , but it'll be worth it. I know you
feel worthless and that you think that you are better off dead but that's not true, I love you and I always will ,
Elesier.

I don't just love you out of pity , or because i trip ko lang or because naawa ako , or because you need it , but
because i do , mahal kita , i love you , i love you more than i can describe and show. I don't tell you all this just
because you are going through a lot and that you need someone and that I am just trying to calm you down ,
you try to compensate your “unworthiness” with high test scores and high expectations and what your family
says about you. But if you strip all of that away – all those hurtful words and test scores– I would still love you. I
love you because I see the person that is inside you, the real you and I will love you till the end.

You think because I've given you more than you deserve  more than you've done for me , that you’re less of a
man to me. But this isn’t some exchange. Not some business deal whose success is rated on equal parts of
giving and taking. This is me giving 95% that day because you’re too tired to give any more than 5%. This is
me reminding you every single day that you are worth something , you are worth everything , that you mean
everything to me. I feel like you think that you and your problems are a burden to other people. You don't walk
around complaining or even venting about your pain. Instead, you hold it all in, Just so you won't annoy or
worry anyone else. But I need you to know that I am here for a reason. When I tell you that I am here for
anything you need, I'm not just saying that to be nice, I mean it. I feel like I want to be here for you no matter
what. It could be 3 AM in the morning and I will pick up my phone for you. Please don't ever think I don't mean
that , i mean every single word.

When you worry that you’re bothering me, or boring me, it’s because you’re afraid that I'll stop loving you if
you’re anything less than perfect. You know I love you, you just can’t figure out why. How could someone like
me love someone like you? But if it takes me a lifetime to convince you that you’re worth it, then it will be a
lifetime well spent. Because if there’s anything I know to be true, it’s that you are the most deserving. You
deserve more than you know , you deserve my love , you deserve me. Because even at your worst and darkest
times , i still see the best in you . You shine brighter than the sun , you're my everything , i love you so much ,
Elesier.

I know we've been through hell and heaven together , I'm sorry if i hurt you my love , i swrsr i wouldn't do that
and i didn't mean to , though it may seem hard to believe , i am sorry and I'm trying my best and I won't stop ,
because i love you , i apologize for everything I've done , i want us to last , i want this forever , i want you
forever and I'll do anything i can , i know everything's hard for you right now , but just know I'm never leaving ,
despite everything we've been through , I'm still not leaving , i love you even more , i love you so much Elesier.

- Your boyfriend , John.