T he year was 1969, and Penelope Pepperpot

was in New York City for an annual seashell sales

conference, when she ran into Gordon. When
the Sesame Street resident greeted Pepperpot as
“Sister Susie”, a similar looking blue Muppet, it
sent the initially unassuming old woman into a
rage. The incensed Pepperpot got defensive and
later reported Gordon for harassment, claims that
have since been disproven.

Pepperpot wasn’t seen again until

she was called to testify at the trial
of Joseph “Joey Bananas” Evola
in 1972. She wove an intricate and
incriminating tale of money laundering,
extortion, and abuse that ultimately
got Mr. Evola convicted. There is well
informed suspicion that the two were
originally in cahoots. The stunt at the
trial was a betrayal to save her own
skin. The incident also created a larger
conversation around the satchel that Pepperpot was carrying in her debut episode. Many now
believe it was filled with contraband seashells that she was going to try to flip for a profit by the
seashore.

In recent years there’s been a rumor, likely spread

by Pepperpot herself, that she has entered the witness
protection program out of fear for her life after the trial.
However, residents of Tempe, Arizona report seeing a
suspiciously similar blue puppet at the local DMV. The
assumption is that she is running an underground seashell
operation and the DMV is just a facade, though nobody has
found concrete proof. What is more clear than ever is that
Pepperpot is smart, she knows how to cover her tracks, and
clearly she is willing to do anything to avoid the slammer.
W ife of long time Muppet Theater heckler Waldorf, Astoria,
has been seen all of one time by anyone in the Jim
Henson company. In episode 413 of The Muppet Show,
Astoria gracefully filled in for Statler, who was violently
ill that day. Fans were thrilled when her commentary
turned out to be even more caustic than his.

Since then, she has openly said that she doesn’t

want anything more to do with the show and resents
that it keeps Waldorf away from her. However, because of this separation and her shocking
resemblance to Statler, there is growing suspicion that Waldorf is actually in love with Statler,
not his wife. But having grown up in a time when that is not accepted, the pair of men simply
present as friends.

There were rumors in the late ‘80s that

Astoria was either dead or that the two
were no longer married. Waldorf couldn’t
be trusted to confirm or deny because he
can’t remember past last Tuesday. Fans
were in the lurch until Astoria wrote a
lovely letter in 2018 to clear the air. She
said that she is alive and well and simply
moved into her own home after her
essential oils business took off in 2012. She
also said that she still loves Jazz and Dizzy
Gillespie, and that she’s been attending services at the Church
of Scientology in East Hollywood.

She then veered off the original subject matter, reporting

that when she was growing up, her family was quite wealthy.
And that they were good friends with the Vanderbilts. She said
that Waldorf also grew up with money, but he has squandered it
all on honeydew melons.

The story between Waldorf and Astoria started out

incredibly romantic. It is believed that they met at an opera in
1868 in Philadelphia or London, neither remember.
M agic Painting Lady is a beloved character known for teaching Grover about painting in

several episodes of Sesame Street in the early 1970s. She was a well-known expert in the fine

arts, giving lectures at Universities around the country. She hadn’t been a fan of the show, but

they needed an art teacher and she is the best in

the business. When asked why she agreed to do

it she said, “The man who asked me seemed so

earnest I just had to accept”. She quickly realized

Grover had absolutely no artistic talents and left

the show. When asked if he had any potential she

promptly changed the subject to her latest project,

a portrait of her late pet ferret.

She grew up in Hoboken, NJ with her parents and an older brother. Apparently her love of the

arts didn’t start until she went to college and saw the work of Jackson Polock. She then devoted

her life to it, eventually attending NYU. Apparently she could often be found on the 1 train

riding up and down Manhattan for hours. It’s where she did all of her best thinking. When she

started lecturing, she gained notoriety because of her knowledge and because she always chewed
caramels throughout her “performance”, forcing a few attendees to give her astonishingly bad

reviews. She is known for being kind and generous and ceaselessly honest.

Nobody had heard from

her for years, and most

assumed she retired

peacefully to Montana as

was her dream. However,

last year, photos emerged

of her at the January

6th capital riot. The

Sesame Workshop has

since formally distanced

themselves from the artist.

For the better part of a century, the Muppets have been a staple of popular culture.

The beloved Kermit the Frog and his production team have delighted viewers

across the world. We have come to know Grover, Miss Piggy, and Fozzie Bear,

but hundreds of others have been relegated to obscurity. This book is about the

stories of these long disregarded Muppets. Readers will learn more about their

personalities, their histories, and why they have drifted from the limelight. Some

will shock you. Some will make you weep. Some will make you grin. All are true.