Croatelli

It had been ages since I'd been down here, in Eli's uncle's wine cellar. God what
was I, 16 or something? Man I wish I'd had a taste for this back then. All these
ritzy brands and all I snuck that day was cheap cider. Live and-

"Hey, Brandon, check this out!" Sarah's voice called out, interrupting my finger as
it brushed dust off the shelf's labels. I spun my head towards her. "What's that?"
I asked, pointing to the bottle cradled in her arms.
Her eyes beamed at me "It's a carrot wine."
"Carrot wine?"
She practically shoved the rectangular thing into my arms, nearly sending my phone
flying. "Croatelli? Never heard of it" i said as I peered down. The boxy bottle
definitely said carrot wine, but most intriguing was the cork. It was a brown root-
looking thing. I touched it with my index finger. Dry as bone.
"You don't think... Is that?"
"A carrot, yes."
"Huh." was all I could respond as I handed it back to her. I guess that's what we
were going with.
"Dani and Eli are gonna freak" she exclaimed, laughing like a harpy as always. I
followed her up the well worn stairs back into the lavish kitchen. Eli wasn't the
coolest, but damn he was loaded. How could I have refused an Easter party
invitation? And miss the opportunity to get back into that cellar? Wasn't gonna
happen.
Sarah practically pulled my sleeve as she carried the bottle to the living room.
Dani was already half asleep watching a Nic Cage flick, but perked up quick when
they noticed our haul.
Eli bit into the weird looking cork and spit it into the hall, classy as ever. I
grabbed the stack of red cups out of their cheap plastic wrap and handed them over
to our 'gentleman'.
"You sure your uncle's cool with this?" Dani asked as Eli poured us all cups. He
rolled his eyes as a response before raising his cup, which he had of course filled
more than the rest.
Sarah was the first to try it, curious as always. We all looked at her with bated
breath. "Not bad" she half-grimaced. Eli drained his next, punctating with a burp.
I looked down at the orangy-red mixture in my plastic cup. Maybe a sip wouldn't
hurt. It tasted earthy, kind of weird. It wasn't terrible, but I sure as shit
hadn't tasted a wine like this before. I turned to Dani, and only a sniff was
enough to upturn their nose. They'd be sticking to their hard lemonades. On second
thought, that might be the wise choice. I put my cup down and scootched over next
to them on the couch. They started the movie again, and I pulled out my phone. Next
thing I knew, Dani's hand was touching my jeans, mindlessly inching their way
towards my thigh as they watched the film.
Before I could say anything, Eli got up clutching his belly in one hand,
rectangular bottle in the other. "I'm gonna go smoke a joint" he announced before
heading down the hall. A large *crack* was heard as he kicked the door open on his
way out. Who the fuck does that?
Dani had clearly been shaken out of their reverie, and relaxed again while keeping
her hands to themselves this time around. Bit of a shame.
By the time the credits had started rolling, Sarah had been gone for a while.
Needed to cool off with a shower she'd said.
"I wonder when they'll be back." I thought aloud."Does it matter?" Dani teased, as
they started climbing up the couch from the ground where they had flopped to. More
than the couch, holy shit they were climbing towards me! A heat burned inside me,
my face flush with color.
I tried to shift to better hide my excitement, but from the look in their eyes,
that was a futile endeavor. They brought her lips towards mine and I closed the
gap, though it was their tongue that breached first. I felt it scrape against my
teeth and they pulled back. "Brandon what the shit?" They said. Their eyes grew
wide. "What the hell is wrong with your teeth‽"
I started feeling them with my fingers. Wait how long were-
I froze solid when i saw it in the corner of my eye. WHAT THE FUCK.
A rabbit was coming towards us no not a rabbit a person it's a person rabbit and
it's naked and she's holding a straight razor.
"YAAAAAAHH" Dani's scream snapped me out of it, and i quickly scrambled to my feet.
I started backing up towards the hall, shielding Danni with my scrawny body best I
could. This *thing* walked towards us, faster than I could go with Danni panicking.
She swung and i managed to duck. Again she- fuck. My ear felt hot as hot blood
seeped down my neck. Fuck!
The rabbit thing grinned at my yelp, and let out a harpy-like cackle. Wait, Sarah?
I tried shielding my face with my arms. God why are they hairy? All of a sudden she
goes down. I look to the floor. Oh shit Danni'd tackled her and was prying the
reddened blade from her fingers. That still burned. I limped into the hall. I
needed to get help. I pushed the door open and immediately saw him. Eli turned
towards me, another one of those rabbit things now but jacked as all hell. He threw
a large bottle at me but thankfully it smashed against the wall behind me, missing
it by a still uncomfortable foot.
I slammed the wooden door shut, tried to lock- wait fuck. Eli had kicked it open,
shit!
I looked to Danni in the living room. Wait had they knocked out-
The door burst open as Eli ran straight for me, sending me stumbling into my back
into shards of broken glass. I screamed in pain, backing away as something got
stuck to my hand.
"YAAAARRGH" Danni yelled as they jumped onto him with the razor in hand. I ripped
the sticker off of my hand. The bottles label!
Screams of pain echoed through the home as Danni sliced into Eli, over and over.
Soon, he stopped moving. Was he dead, or?
My remaining ear scraped against a piece of glass, shit was that growing too now‽ I
looked at the Croatelli label. Someone had written on the back "The Carrot is Key".
"The carrot is key?" I thought, what could that- wait- the carrot!
I looked back towards the living room, sure enough the carrot cork was still there,
unappealing as ever. Danni had also taken off their goodie, clasping their hands
against their knees to get a breather.
I dove for the carrot, cramming it into my mouth as quickly as I could as i felt my
mind shrink. It tasted like rot, i couldn't repress a gag. Soon, my breathing
slowed. I could think again. I looked to my arms, their skin shedding, my left one
covered in blood from my ear.
"Holy shit we did it!" I sighed in relief, finally letting myself rest. Soon, Danni
was at my side, going in for a kiss. Wait, how long are those teeth‽