September 26 | 2022

‘They felt cornered,

misunderstood
and deeply unhappy’
How Harry and Meghan’s bid for freedom
descended into acrimony By Valentine Low
2 Monday September 26 2022 | the times

times2

Hold hands like Roger

‘There was a
and Rafa? No, I kiss my The Sussexes have been scathing in
best friend on the lips their criticism of the Firm. Did their
departure need to be so bitter? In his
Kevin Maher new book, Valentine Low reveals the
hey had the most
ELLA LING/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
tense negotiations surrounding Megxit

T
celebrated rivalry
in tennis history. efore Harry and always guaranteed to infuriate them.

B
They played each Meghan returned from Harry and Meghan felt cornered,
other 40 times, Canada in January 2020 misunderstood and deeply unhappy. If
including the where they spent the rest of the institution failed to
“greatest tennis Christmas with their appreciate that, even if their
match ever” (the baby son Archie, away demands were unreasonable, the
2008 Wimbledon men’s singles from the rest of the departure negotiations were never
final), and they’re the subjects of family, Harry sent an going to end happily.
the bestselling book Strokes of email to his father, saying that they It is uncontroversial to suggest that
Genius and the 2018 documentary were unhappy. The current set-up was the Sussexes would regard the talks as
of the same name. Yet it wasn’t Roger not working for them, and they a failure. They wanted to find a
until the retirement match of Federer wanted to go and live in North compromise whereby they could live
Roger Federer on Friday night and Rafael America. Harry seemed to be under part of the year abroad but carry out
that the extent of the moving Nadal at the impression that they could just some royal duties at home. No such
bromance between sporting the O2 sort it out by email before he and compromise was found. Instead, they
frenemies Federer and Rafa Meghan got back to London on lost their royal duties, their
Nadal was finally fully revealed. uncomplicated kiss on the lips. scoundrel!), for her equally January 6. The reply they got, patronages, Harry’s military
The most telling moment was We are occasionally derided as uncovered hand and guides her however, was that this would require affiliations, their security, their income
directly after the match at the O2 metrosexuals and fops. And even upwards, the moment positively a proper family conversation. They from the Prince of Wales and, for
Arena in London, when the singer we don’t hold hands! crackles with the pulsing power of were also told that the first date that official purposes anyway, their HRH
Ellie Goulding shuffled on to the Holding hands is hardcore. primal energy. the family would be available was titles. They pretty much lost
court to serenade Roger and Rafa, It’s possibly the most intimate I hold hands with my wife and January 29. It is not clear if this everything, except for the freedom to
now sitting side by side, with a connection you can make with my children and that’s it. And I inflexibility was on the part of Charles, do exactly what they want.
tender rendition of Still Falling another human being with your find it intensely uncomfortable if who was due to be in Davos, or that The rest of the royal family lost a
for You from the movie Bridget clothes on. Remember anyone else, usually a woman, this was the response of his long-time much-loved member of the family, and
Jones’s Baby. Obviously. “This love Shakespeare? “O, then, dear saint, offers to take my hand to guide private secretary Clive Alderton, saw the creation of a rift that has
is like fire and ice, this love is like let lips do what hands do.” He me, say, through a new pulling the strings. Either way, from resulted in the self-exiled Sussexes
rain and blue skies,” Goulding knew that holding hands was the environment or to physically the Sussex point of view, this went still throwing barbed criticisms across
began crooning, as the cameras raunchier version of snogging. express a cordial bond while out down incredibly badly. It fed into the the Atlantic. It will take a long time for
zoomed cruelly close to Federer on a Sunday stroll. On these narrative that they were not being the institution to get over the
and Nadal, both men weeping occasions I normally leap taken seriously by the palace accusations the couple made in their
openly. They were crying, clearly, backwards and, clasping the machinery, or by the rest of the family. interview with Oprah Winfrey,
for the end of an era, the end of a violated hand to my doublet, I say Harry had tried to speed up matters including the implication that the
sporting friendship and the end of Shakespeare something along the lines of: by arranging to see his grandmother royal family is racist. No one in the
a relationship that could be best
described as, well, fire and ice and knew it was “Hast thou lost thy senses,
madam?”
alone before he left Canada. However,
the message was conveyed to him that
royal family — on either side — can
have been happy that Harry did not
rain and blue skies. “Your heart
got a story with mine, your heart
raunchier The film moment that I now
most associate with Rafa and
the Queen had been confused about
her diary, and was no longer available.
attend the memorial service to his
grandfather, the Duke of Edinburgh,
got me hurting at times,”
Goulding continued, while the
than snogging Roger is the suicide climax of
Thelma & Louise. When the
Harry was incensed, because it was
not true: the courtiers had got in the
in March 2022.
In the immediate aftermath of the
cameras mercifully cut away from Indeed, a thousand tedious period tear-stained pair drive off that way, it seemed, because they saw the Sussex bombshell on January 8, when
the bawling buddies, unable to movies have been built on the cliff the camera focuses squarely meeting with the Queen as an attempt the Queen said she wanted all four
pick up, for the TV audience at erotic implications of the held on the hands of Susan Sarandon to pick the Queen off before Harry households to “work together at pace”
least, that the pair were actually, hand. I’m thinking, slightly, of and Geena Davis, held tightly, started talks with the rest of the to find a workable solution, Edward
sweetly, adorably, holding hands. James McAvoy and Keira fingers intertwined, symbolising family. As one source put it, “There Young, the Queen’s private secretary,
That was the image that floored Knightley clinking fingers under an ineffable character bond that was a danger that a private was with the Queen at Sandringham.
me. Holding hands? Ballsy move. the table in Atonement, but more will outlast mortality itself. That’s conversation could be interpreted very The first negotiations took place in
Most impressive. I have a lifelong of Knightley again, in the 2005 Federer and Nadal in essence. differently by two people.”
best buddy. He lives in Dublin. version of Pride and Prejudice Side by side, weeping, holding That was said to have made Harry
We don’t see each other that playing Elizabeth Bennet and hands and together plummeting so cross that for a while he considered
often, but we love each other being helped into a carriage by from the cliff of the past into an driving straight from the airport to
deeply. Whenever we meet, Matthew Macfadyen’s surly Mr uncertain future while Ellie Sandringham to drop in on the Queen Harry considered
possibly three times a year, our
greeting is, and has been since
Darcy. The pair are still in the
“hate” part of the “love-hate”
Goulding underscores the point
by singing: “All your flaws and
unannounced. He eventually dropped
the idea, but it was a sign of his driving straight
the late 1990s, a heartfelt hug
accompanied by a friendly,
paradigm, and so when he
suddenly reaches, ungloved (the
scars are mine. Still falling for
you. Still falling for you.”
frustration that he even contemplated
such a move.
from the airport
Given that the couple announced
their plans to stand down on January
to see the Queen
while attempting to My mother, also an MacBook. The 8, and the royal family met to discuss Clarence House — Charles’s home
encourage senior octogenarian and also WhatsApp function was it all five days later on January 13 — ground — over the following four
Disaster is citizens to embrace an enthusiastic tech glitchy, so I went into the so-called Sandringham summit — days, with the private secretaries and
technology, has user, is burdened by settings, then shortcuts, it seems that the family diary was communications secretaries from the
just one reinforced the classic this fear too. I then target disk mode, rather more flexible than originally four households all trying to find a
fallacy about “pressing sometimes find myself then I used a native appeared. way to make the Sussexes’ dreams a
tap away the wrong button”. snapping irritably at app-building app, and Harry and Meghan could be reality. They gathered in Alderton’s
Hurst, though an her and saying: “Mum, a ram testing app, and a maddening, of course; they had office, a sunny first-floor room where
Oh, the irony. The avid smartphone and you cannot break it! clean-up app to clean already infuriated the royal family by paintings from the Royal Collection sit
footballing legend laptop user, admitted They don’t break any up after the native pushing out their Megxit alongside photographs of Alderton’s
Geoff Hurst has scored that he fears, after more! Press anything app-building app. The announcement on January 8 with the own family. Young would join the
something of, yes, an one wrong tap, “the at all! You simply will MacBook then crashed. minimum of notice when all the talks talks on the phone from Norfolk, but
own goal. phone will explode or not break it!” I brought it back to had been about issuing a joint for the first few days it was Alderton
The 80-year-old the computer will stop Then, last summer, the shop and they said, statement. But the palace also showed who was leading the discussions.
World Cup winner, working”. I bought a new basically, I broke it. the sort of initial inflexibility that was (Later, they would all have talks at
the times | Monday September 26 2022
clear view: you can’t be in and out’
COVER: KIRSTY O’CONNOR/WPA POOL/GETTY. BELOW: CHRIS JACKSON/GETTY IMAGES; MAX MUMBY/GETTY
Buckingham Palace.) Simon Case,
Prince William’s private secretary, who
is now cabinet secretary, also played a
pivotal role. “He was talking to both
sides,” said a source.
The people sitting around the table
went through five different scenarios,
which ranged from Harry and
Meghan spending most of their time
being working members of the royal
family, but having a month a year to
do their own thing, to them spending
most of their time privately, but doing
a select number of royal activities.
There was, according to more than
one source, a positive atmosphere in
the room: they wanted to find a
solution. At one stage, Alderton made
the point that if they could get this
right, they would be solving a problem
for future generations of the royal
family who were not in the direct line
of succession.
By the end of the week, the five
scenarios had been worked through.
Left: the Duchess and such clarity of view, it’s very difficult to
Duke of Sussex attend say, ‘Why don’t we go 10 per cent this
the Endeavour Fund way instead of 20 per cent?’ ”
awards in London in Compromise was off the table,
2020. Above: Clive removed by the Queen.
Alderton, King Could Harry and Meghan’s
Charles’s private departure have been handled
secretary, left, and differently? Did the most senior
Edward Young, the courtiers in the institution, Alderton
Queen’s private and Young, have a grasp of the
secretary situation soon enough? Were they
unaware of how unhappy Harry and
Meghan had become and how bad
things had become with their staff? Or
were they burying their heads in the
sand? Did they let a personal dislike of
Meghan prevent them from seeing the
very obvious dangers that lay ahead?
One former insider has described how
Young’s predecessor, Christopher
Geidt [the Queen’s long-serving
former private secretary, who was
You had effectively ousted by Prince Charles in
two worlds 2017], used to “walk the corridors” to
know what was going on: did Young
that had walk the corridors?
One former palace insider believes
no way to the way the developing crisis was
handled was “incompetent beyond
relate to belief”. They said: “I think Meghan
thought she was going to be the
each other Beyoncé of the UK. Being part of the
royal family would give her that kudos.
The view from the palace Whereas what she discovered was that
establishment was that, however much there were so many rules that were so
time Harry and Meghan spent away ridiculous that she couldn’t even do
from royal duties, anything they did the things that she could do as a
would reflect on the institution. That private individual, which is tough . . . It
meant that the normal rules about just required the decision-makers to sit
royal behaviour would apply. They around a table and say, ‘OK, what are
should not act or take decisions in we going to do about this? What do
order to gain financial or other you need to feel better? And what can
material benefits for themselves, their we give?’ ”
family, or their friends. There is, however, another view:
But the Sussexes wanted their that nothing could have ever saved the
freedom: freedom to make money, situation. The two sides were just too
freedom to dip their toes into far apart. Another palace source, who
American politics. There was no way has been critical of the Queen’s private
for the two sides to reach an secretary Edward Young in the past,
agreement on that point. Crucially, it said: “I think that it was an impossible
was the Queen who took the view that task. I think in Meghan and the
unless the couple were prepared to household, you had two worlds that
abide by the restrictions that applied had no experience of each other, had
to working members of the royal
family, they could not be allowed to
‘Charles on no way to relate to each other, had no
way to comprehend each other. And
carry out official duties. One source a mission’ Meghan was never going to fit in that
said: “There was a very clear view: you model and that model was never
can’t be in and out. And if you’ve got page 4 W going to tolerate the Meghan who
3
times2
Meghan wanted to be. So I think
that it was inevitable that they would
not be able to work together. I don’t
think there’s anything Edward could
have done about that that other
members of the royal family would
have accepted.”
Both things are probably true. There
was a collective failure on the part of
those who work for the royal family to
recognise that there was a serious
problem, to flag it up, and to try to do
something about it. There were no
high-level discussions any time in the
first eight months of 2019 — when
Meghan was later to say that she had
suicidal thoughts and the first clues
were emerging that the Sussexes were
plotting an escape — about the nature
of their unhappiness and what could
be done about it.
But even if that had happened, I do
not believe that it would have solved
the problem. Their grievances were
too deep-rooted, and the distance
between what the Sussexes wanted
and what the royal family felt able to
give was just too great. Perhaps the
best that could have happened is that
the divorce could have been handled
without all the acrimony that followed
the events of January 2020. One thing
is definitely true, however. If there
were any failings, they were during the
first year or so of Harry and Meghan’s
marriage.
There is one final thought on this,
and it comes from a surprising source,
someone who knows Harry well but
remains upset about what Harry and
Meghan did. Their view is that
perhaps the Sussexes’ departure was
not the untrammelled disaster that so
many think it was. “There is a part of
me that thinks Meghan did Harry the
greatest kindness anyone could do to
him, which was to take him out of the
royal family, because he was just
desperately unhappy in the last couple
of years in his working life. We knew
he was unhappy, but we didn’t really
know what the solution would be. She
came along and found the solution.”
This is an edited extract from
Courtiers: The Hidden Power Behind
the Crown by Valentine Low
published by Headline Books on
October 6
4 Monday September 26 2022 | the times
SAMIR HUSSEIN/WIREIMAGE/GETTY

times2

Charles: man
on a mission
R
ichard Aylard, who
was Charles’s private
secretary in the first
half of the 1990s, was
at home one weekend
when the phone rang.
It was Charles’s butler,
Harold Brown, to tell
him that the then Prince of Wales
would like a word with him later on.
He would probably ring at about three.
At three on the dot, Aylard was by the
phone, waiting for the call. At three-
thirty the phone rang: it was the butler
again, saying Charles would try at
about six. This went on all weekend,
with Aylard wondering whether it was
some major logistical issue that
needed sorting out, or perhaps a
looming domestic crisis. Had the
nanny run off with the chauffeur?
Finally, on Monday morning, Charles
got through. “Richard,” he said, “I’ve
been out in the meadow and I’ve
found what I think is an orchid.” Could
Aylard tell from the description
whether it was a spotted orchid or not?
Even when he is not orchid-spotting,
Charles is a demanding boss. Working
for him is not a nine-to-five job. This,
according to one former member of
his household, is because he is very
demanding of himself. “He is never
satisfied with himself, or what he has
achieved. People around him had to
work hard to keep up. He had
enormous stamina.” Another said: “He
was demanding in that he is always
working. Seven days a week. Never
stops. At any moment he may want to
call you about something. Working on
his boxes, on his ideas, on his papers.
The pace is pretty intense.” The phone
calls could come at any time, from
after breakfast until 11 at night, even at
Christmas. In contrast to the
conviviality of his grandmother’s
household, Charles’s office is suffused
with a ferocious work ethic: he is a
man with a mission.
“He would drive people hard. He
was full of ideas, always asking people
to go and do things. The workload as
private secretary would be immense.
He had strong opinions. He also had a
proper temper on him, which was
quite fun. He would rarely direct it at
the individual. It would be about
something, and he would lose his
temper. He would throw something.
He would go from zero to 60 in a
flash, and then back down again.
Things would frustrate him, especially
the media.”
Dickie Arbiter, his press secretary,
was once walking out of the palace
with the private secretary a short
distance behind Charles when the
prince, infuriated by something the
private secretary had said, turned
round and directed an ill-tempered
outburst at the hapless courtier.
Arbiter recalled: “I said sotto voce, ‘If
anybody talked to me like that, I’d tell
them to bugger off.’ ” It was just loud
enough for Charles to hear. “There
was a slight flicker of a smile, but he
got my message. The only thing he
could do was fire me. And he didn’t.”
In the space of about seven years,
Charles had five different private
secretaries. Promotion, preferment,
who’s in, who’s out: no wonder
Charles’s household has been
compared to Wolf Hall. In her book on
Prince Charles, Catherine Mayer
quotes a businessman who helped to
set up an event with the prince’s
household and later spoke “with
amazement” about the “glaring flaws”
in its organisational structure. He got
the impression that aides used to
obstruct planning so they could tell
the boss of problems, which they
would then solve. “There was a lot of
backstabbing,” he said. According to
another insider, some courtiers,
though loyal and able, are also The Prince of Wales was the internal backstabbing. The One of Charles’s former members
cunning and “involve themselves and King Charles walk other was how to deal with the of staff said the most pernicious effect
in the dark arts of undermining behind the Queen’s helpful suggestions made by all the of his outside advisers was the way
other people”. coffin as it is taken to outside advisers that Charles also they suggested that his usual team
Another official, who worked for lie in state spoke to. Over the years, there have were not doing a good job. “The
Charles after he married Camilla, been scores of them, whispering in his prince is quite susceptible to new
recalled: “Someone said to me early in ear their thoughts on architecture, voices who tell him, ‘They are
my time how quite a lot of people in alternative medicine, business, organic stopping you doing what you want to
that world see it as quite zero sum. If farming, housing, Jungian do. They are holding you back, the
he’s talking to you, he’s not talking to psychoanalysis, Islamic art, rainforests, suits.’ He loves it when someone says,
me; if he’s reading your note, he’s not
reading my note. There’s only so much
He had crop circles and the media. In his
twenties Charles came under the
‘Oh, they have got it wrong, sir, listen
to me. I can see it better; I am outside
time in his week, so if he’s doing
engagements, it means he’s not doing
strong influence of Laurens van der Post, the
South African-born writer, explorer
of this.’ The prince falls under people’s
spell. That could then lead to real
something he could have done for me. opinions and mystic, who once wrote him a problems for individuals.”
There [could] be a bit of an internal letter outlining how he could Canvassing a wide range of views
dynamic about who was he listening and a transform the monarchy to fit a new was an essential part of Charles’s
to. In Monday morning meetings,
people would go out of their way to temper vision of society that would restore the
individual to a “lost natural aspect” of
method of working. It was an
approach that was born out of the
say, ‘Well, he called me three times the human spirit. Charles was not resistance that Charles experienced
over the weekend.’ Or, ‘Well, I was in always a good judge of who should from traditional courtiers to initiatives
the supermarket when he called me.’ have his ear. Jimmy Savile, the such as the Prince’s Trust. One adviser
As if to just remind everyone else broadcaster and charity fundraiser said: “He is someone who is constantly
around the table that he cared about who, after his death, was revealed to trying to connect things and think
their stuff. Well, it’s a court, right? So This is an edited extract have been a serial sexual abuser, wrote about things and create new initiatives
in our case, there were two individuals from Courtiers: The a handbook for Charles on how the and everybody almost always calls him
who are the font of all power, and Hidden Power Behind royal family should deal with the barmy. I remember going in a couple
everyone wants to be close to that and the Crown by Valentine media after big disasters. Charles of times and saying, ‘Sir, I’m not sure
to be drinking from that.” Low, published by passed on his tips to the Duke of this is the best idea.’ But you could
Anyone working for Prince Charles Headline Books on Edinburgh, who in turn showed them never argue that because he’d say,
had to face two key difficulties. One October 6 to the Queen. ‘They always say that to me.’ ”

William
T
here are subtle variations in
what members of the
household call their principals.
shakes At Clarence House, there was
a simple formula: it was “Your Royal
Highness” when one greeted Charles
things up first thing in the morning, and “Sir”
after that, and then “Your Royal
Highness” last thing at night.
When Nick Loughran worked at
Kensington Palace as a press secretary,
he would call Harry by his first name,
but tended to be more formal with
Prince William, because their
relationship was not so close. Ed
Perkins, who also had a spell as press
secretary for the two princes, once
accidentally sent a text to Harry
saying, “Hello mate.” He recalled: “I
texted back saying, ‘So sorry, just
called you mate. I didn’t mean to.’
[Harry] wrote back saying, ‘Please
don’t worry.’ ”
When William and Kate’s children
were young, and the family were
dividing their time between Anmer
Hall in Norfolk and Kensington
Palace, William told his staff that he
did not want them wearing suits when
they were in the office. “He wants it to
be casual,” said one member of the
household. “The kids run around the
office, and he does not want it to be
stuffy. If we have important meetings,
or are going to Buckingham Palace,
then of course we [wear suits].” It
started with casual Fridays, but then
William told them that if they did not
have important people coming in for
meetings, they could dress casually.
“This is where my family lives,” he
told them. What they wore did not
matter. “You are going to do a
professional job.”
It was not just in terms of superficial
things like dress code that William
wanted his office to be different. When
Perkins applied to move from
Buckingham Palace to a new job
handling press relations at Kensington
Palace, one member of William’s team
pulled him aside for a quiet word. “We
just want to check,” they said. “You did
go to a comprehensive school, didn’t
you?” Yes, he said.
It was the right answer.
the times | Monday September 26 2022
Big bonuses are back, and that’s
bad — I know, I was a banker
The chancellor has removed the cap
limiting the end-of-year bonanza.
Get ready for the return of reckless
gambling, says Geraint Anderson
T
he announcement on
Friday by Kwasi
Kwarteng, the
chancellor of the
exchequer, that
bankers’ annual
bonuses would no
longer be limited to
twice their basic salary was not
unexpected, but it still triggered in me
a plethora of emotions, ranging from
bemusement to shock and from
dismay to fear. Was this newly
installed government purposefully
turning the clock back to the time
when I had been a stockbroker
(1996-2008) — a period that was later
dubbed by the former prime minister
Gordon Brown as “the age of
irresponsibility”? And if so, why the
hell was it doing such a foolish thing?
“Civilians” (a term bankers use to
describe all you low-salaried losers out
there) will never understand just how
vital the annual ceremony of receiving
a bonus is to the average banker’s
psychological wellbeing. Trundling off
into that glass-walled corner office on
the trading floor in late November and
being told that your Christmas salary
cheque will include six “PMs” extra (or
six times the prime minister’s salary —
it was about £800,000) was not just
vital to your happiness because you
could then afford a new Maserati and
that villa in Tuscany. No, the size of
your bonus was a perfect gauge of just
how wonderful a human being you
were, because how much you received
was a direct scorecard from God, also
known as “the market”, and as
everyone knows the market never lies.
If you received half the amount that
Tarquin at Goldman bagged then
there was irrefutable proof that said
sneering buffoon was twice the man
you would ever be.
The most common personality trait
of every investment banker that I ever
had the misfortune to meet during my
12-year stretch was neither greed nor
arrogance, though they were most
definitely up there, but
competitiveness, and while bankers
can work themselves up into a lather
about a game of racquetball, nothing
can create such unmitigated misery or
unbridled joy as that terse letter that is
pushed towards you on that cold
November day. I’ve seen a 24-year-old
telecoms analyst unable to stop
beaming at everyone at the post-bonus
drinks (something which is a big no-
no) on receiving what I later found out
to be a million-pound bonus, but I’ve
also heard a trader crying in a lavatory
cubicle when he realised that paying
for little Hugo’s school fees was going
to be a challenge that year. Bonus day
has all the drama of a condensed
Shakespeare play and all the
emotional impact of a World
Cup final.
But after 2014, when the City
of London agreed to fall in line
with the European Union’s
directive and only allow a bonus
twice your basic salary (back
then only about a measly
£120,000!), the fun and games
were over. Admittedly I heard
from some former colleagues
that investment banks
responded by increasing the
basic salaries of their most
valued employees, the huge
revenue generators we called
“rainmakers”, but where is the
fun in only getting “double
bubble”? What made us
“special” were those
huge, mouthwatering
multiples that would
offend any right-
thinking person —
especially as what we
received seemed so
random and
unconnected to how we
had actually performed.
If the bank had
performed well, or your
sector was in fashion, or
you had brown-nosed the
boss at just the right time,
you could easily receive
double what an equally
competent colleague
received. I have no doubt
that I consistently got
significantly more than an
infinitely more talented team member
simply because I projected an image of
a disloyal employee who would jump
ship should I not receive “my due” (!).
My endearing but foolish colleague
gave the impression of being a spoddy
lifer who would accept whatever paltry
sum he received, while I spent the
weeks preceding “B-day” pretending
to receive countless calls from
headhunters (in fact my aunty Marge).
The bonus system not only upped
the ante when it came to toxic office
politics, it actually rewarded
Machiavellian toerags like me who
spent more time manipulating
perceptions than generating
commission. A return to huge variable
bonuses means that bankers can now
look forward to all their colleagues
stabbing them in the back as they
compete for a bigger portion of a
necessarily finite bonus pool.
The return of toxic office politics is
the least of our worries, though. If
City bonuses can be huge, then
reckless, short-term gambling is the
Bonus day has all
the emotional
impact of a
World Cup final
only sensible response. The bonus
system is asymmetrical in that large
bets that go right will increase your
bonus, but those that tank do not
result in money being removed from
your bulging wallet. Combine that
absurd dynamic with the ever-present
fear that this lucrative casino’s days are
numbered and the temptation is to put
all your chips on red — especially
since it’s not your money you’re
betting with! And most observers
would agree that short-term reckless
gambling is what brought capitalism to
its knees in 2008-09.
Huge variable bonuses also
encourage criminal practices such as
5
times2
TOM WILDE/GETTY IMAGES
insider trading and market
manipulation, which were rife 20 years
ago because the risk of being caught
was so minimal and the rewards so
vast. So we can all look forward to a
return to those “victimless crimes”
that are not victimless at all, with the
people losing out generally being the
unwitting pension funds that were
conned into selling shares to dodgy
hedge funds just before their prices
sky-rocketed after a takeover
approach. That’s right, those lovely
bankers are stealing from your granny!
Those bankers will also now once
again be incentivised to use their big
brains to conjure up near-term profits
that later prove to be illusory, safe in
the knowledge that they will receive
huge bonuses that cannot be clawed
back once the con trick has been
revealed. This rational response to a
one-way unrestrained bonus system
explains why bankers created
preposterous financial products such
as the sub-prime collateralised debt
obligations that were the principal
culprit behind the 2008-09 crisis,
despite the fact that they only made
sense if property prices kept rising and
interest rates stayed low for decades. It
may surprise you to discover that most
bankers are marginally more
interested in lining their own pockets
than considering the negative impact
their actions have on society.
A return to the toxic bonus culture
that I thrived in 15 years ago will make
the shenanigans shown on BBC1’s
City-based drama Industry look like a
Christian union meeting.
Geraint Anderson is the author of
Cityboy: Beer and Loathing in the
Square Mile
6 Monday September 26 2022 | the times
life
Ask Professor Tanya Byron
My grandson is obsessed with being online
N
Our 12-year-old
Q
grandson appears to
be in the grip of an
addiction to computer
gaming and watching
<
YouTube and TikTok.
This is to the detriment of both his
social life and school performance. It
doesn’t matter what else he is doing,
all the time he is twitching and keen
to get back on a screen. This issue
has been worsened by lockdowns.
When he’s finished a session on his
computer he is drained and rather
unresponsive. We’re aware of the use
of time limitation controls but worry
that it has got beyond this and would
promote serious resistance. What
treatment or advice is available?
Paddy
N
Your concerns will
resonate with many
A and, as you rightly
point out, even more
so as the issue has
been amplified after
<
the pandemic. Surveys of parents
have highlighted increased difficulty
re-enforcing screen-time limits due to
greater pushback from their children;
this has been called “the Covid effect”.
There is debate as to whether it is
possible to get addicted to technology.
Unlike drugs and alcohol, internet use
doesn’t create a similar brain chemical
dependency but research has shown
how using devices stimulates the
release of the neurochemical
dopamine in the reward centres of the
brain in an instantaneous and constant
way, creating a feelgood dependency.
There are many reasons online
engagement is attractive to users,
particularly for younger generations.
First, the digital world offers a huge
range of high-dopamine activities
where continual use creates a need for
more such activities and a consequent
loss of interest in lower-dopamine
activities, ie those that offer less
immediate and constant reward
stimulation, and so lack immediate
gratification. Add to this that screen-
based activities are often designed to
constantly grab attention so that the
user will keep coming back to them
and algorithms that track online
behaviours and preferences bring a
constant stream of new content to the
user. Additionally, most adolescents
use messaging and social media to stay
connected with each other and find
validation (via “likes” on their posts).
Research highlights that intense
social media use is associated with
increased anxiety and depression in
teenagers (especially girls), who
compare themselves unfavourably
with their peers and experience “fear
of missing out”. Excessive gaming
(defined as two thirds or more of free
time) is associated with poor mental
health outcomes including anxiety,
depression and substance use. And
simultaneous multiplatform
engagement decreases the ability to
learn. Another impact is on sleep: in
one survey, seven out of ten children
said online behaviour caused reduced
sleep, with 60 per cent saying that, as
a result, they neglected schoolwork.
It is unlikely that your grandson is
an addict as he doesn’t require screen
time to function (in the way an
alcoholic or drug addict needs alcohol
or drugs to function) but perhaps he
has, like many young people whose
online activity significantly increased
during the pandemic, developed a
psychological dependency.
There are, however, young people
whose functioning becomes impaired
due to their technology use becoming
so extreme, significantly impairing
sleep (reversing sleep/wake cycles),
eating (barely eating), hygiene (not
washing), using the toilet (in their
bedroom while online) and social
interaction (none) and also leading to
aggression and violence when screen
time is interrupted. For them, in-
patient treatment may be required
(National Centre for Gaming
Disorders). Young people whose use is
less extreme but nevertheless
challenging for a family can be treated
as outpatients by clinical psychologists
who specialise in working with these
issues (bps.org.uk).
To support someone who shows any
level of psychological dependency on
technology, it is always important to
consider why. Technology and digital
engagement in and of itself is not the
culprit, it is the user and their own
circumstances and characteristics that
will determine how their relationship
with technology develops — similar
to how individual differences and life
circumstances determine how people
use or abuse alcohol. Indeed, it is not
unusual for children and young people
who struggle with their mental health
and have poor home and/or school
lives to find solace in the
online world, which also provides a
distraction from their unhappiness.
Anxiety, depression, ADHD, autistic
spectrum conditions and learning
difficulties can all lead children to take
refuge in online activities. The
relationship between anxiety and
depression and excessive online
engagement can be a chicken or
egg one. However, once their
underlying issue is understood
and treated, such children may
feel more able to engage with
offline friendships and
activities. It’s important,
therefore, to consider the
possibility that your
grandson’s excessive screen
use might be a symptom
rather than a cause of
problems.
The first question about
your grandson would be, is
this a young person whose
online dependency has
increased due to
difficulties reducing
pandemic levels of online
engagement, or is
something else
underpinning his
behaviour that relates to
mental health difficulties?
The next consideration
is how can your grandson
find satisfaction in an
offline world after a
sustained period of
digital stimulation? You
need a planned approach
that begins with a
conversation. Explore with
him the research around increased use
during the pandemic and normalise
this as an issue many struggle with.
Excessive Look at the brain-based explanations
screen use — dopamine stimulation — which
help with understanding why life only
might be a feels colourful when lived online and
symptom
less stimulating activities have lost
their appeal.
Try to understand your grandson’s
rather use. What does he do and what does
he enjoy? Let him guide you as the
than a expert and show an interest. Many
young people feel that adults curtail
cause of their screen-based activities without
understanding their value and merit. If
problems he plays computer games — if he’s a
“gamer” — ask him to teach you (it’s
fun!). The purpose of reducing time
spent online needs to be understood so
that it can become a collaborative
rather than combative process.
Older children and teenagers do
better accepting limits if they feel they
have been part of the process. What
does your grandson think are
reasonable limits on screen time? This
enables debate, agreement or
compromise and avoids unnecessary
arguments. If his plan feels excessive
his parents could agree to try it for a
week while also agreeing how to
evaluate whether it’s a balanced
If you would like amount of time alongside all other
Professor Tanya daily activities including offline social
Byron’s help, email interaction. Thinking about self-
proftanyabyron@ regulation is also important: how does
thetimes.co.uk your grandson know when it’s time to
shut down devices? You could explore
ways to support this, including
countdown timers.
Also consider, is off-screen time
stimulating and fun? It’s easier to
replace a behaviour than just stop it.
Also make sure all adults lead by
example and there are well-defined
off-screen times for all (for example,
mealtimes). For young people who
breach trust by going online at night, it
might be worth discussing the
importance of sleep in terms of what is
meaningful to them: growth,
healthy hair and skin,
doing better at school. It
can also help to remove
all devices from
bedrooms at night.
Rules can be set
around access to
devices after daily
tasks are finished.
My advice is to
approach this in a
nonconfrontational
way that takes into
account the reasons
for your grandson’s
behaviour. Make this
a process of reduction
(rather than a cold-
turkey approach) given
the understanding
that children and
young people relied on
the dopamine hits from
their online screen use
during a difficult pandemic.
Work collaboratively so your
grandson buys in and owns the
process. While you will want
him to compromise around your
terms, listen hard to his and show
that you are prepared to
compromise as well.
The new
Women are
thriving but men
are in crisis. It’s
an emergency,
Richard Reeves
tells Michael Odell
ing Charles III has
K
barely warmed the
throne but already
two hissy fits, one
over a badly
positioned inkwell
and another over a
leaky pen, have made
international headlines. The US-based
author Richard Reeves was watching
with interest.
“The Queen was revered for her
service. My fear for King Charles is
he’ll be seen as a bumbling male idiot
held up by the women around him,”
Reeves says. “The failing man is a
stock comedy character you see in
The Simpsons or The Office, and those
stereotypes are corrosive. Boys need to
see men doing good things. And men
need to do them without taking away
the gains of women.”
Reeves is extremely vigilant
about male role models. A former
London-based policy wonk, he was
Nick Clegg’s director of strategy
during the Conservative/Lib Dem
coalition government. Then ten years
ago he moved to Washington DC to
work at the Brookings Institution
policy think tank, where he has
written extensively on social mobility
(his 2017 book Dream Hoarders nailed
American middle-class entitlement).
In his new book, Of Boys and Men,
he is sounding the klaxon on a new
crisis: men. We are failing. From kings
down to delivery drivers, we just can’t
seem to cut it any more. “Through
school and college, in jobs and in the
family, even just maintaining a circle
of friends, many men are lost,” he says.
“The super-affluent are flourishing but
that’s not most men. And that’s
because in the last 40 years the
women’s movement has given females
a new script — get educated, be
financially independent. That’s great.
But men haven’t adapted a cultural
script to match. We need a prosocial
masculinity for a post-feminist world.”
The malaise starts with education. In
the UK in 1970, 31 per cent of degrees
were awarded to women. By 1990 that
figure was 44 per cent and now it is
58 per cent and rising. From school
onwards, girls revel in diligence while
boys heed the call of Call of Duty.
“It’s because the education system is
structured in favour of women in ways
that were invisible under conditions of
sexism,” Reeves says. “Ironically, it is
feminism — the educational success of
women over the last 50 years — that
helped uncover that.”
The attainment gap is caused by
boys’ later brain development, he says.
Many simply aren’t ready for school
aged five, and by the time they reach
15 the attainment gap is causing real
problems. Reeves needed remedial
English classes aged 16. “I was a July
the times | Monday September 26 2022
gender gap — it’s not what you think
baby, so young for my year,” he says.
“I struggled because boys’ prefrontal
cortex, the part of the brain which
defers gratification, engenders
discipline and planning, develops later
than girls’. My advice is to keep boys
back a year.”
Isn’t it just like men to wait until
the girls are succeeding, then change
the rules of the game? “I am very
sympathetic to the complaint that
after 10,000 years of patriarchy and
only 40 minutes of girls being ahead,
Women are more
resilient. They’re
focused, linear
and successful
the alarm bells are rung. But in the
end, you’re not taking away from
women, you’re creating better men,
and that can’t be bad for anybody.”
Men’s employment patterns are
worrying too. In the UK and the US
millions of traditionally male jobs have
disappeared as a result of AI (artificial
intelligence) and free trade. “Jobs in
transportation, construction and
installation have proved susceptible to
those impacts in a way that
traditionally female roles in teaching,
care and personal services aren’t.”
As a result millions of prime
working-age males are drifting and
dislocated. They go and live with their
parents or zig-zag through dead-end
jobs. Women are more resilient.
They’re focused, linear and successful.
Perhaps most controversial is
Reeves’s reframing of the gender pay
gap. According to UK
government figures, women
on average are paid 90p for
every £1 a man earns. Reeves
agrees there is a discrepancy
but it’s not necessarily
fuelled by discrimination.
“It’s a parenting gap. For
women, having a child
basically puts a meteorite
through their earnings.”
In the US a man entering
the workforce in 1983 will
earn 10 per cent less over
his lifetime than one who
started work in 1967, while
women’s wages have risen by
33 per cent. “Women have
enjoyed a huge economic
boost, and that has to be
good,” Reeves says. “But it
has had an effect on
relationships, marriage,
family structure, all of
which needs the new script
for masculinity I’m talking
about.”
In the US 30 per cent of
women out-earn their partner, a
doubling of the figure 40 years ago. In
the UK the figure is 26 per cent, and
the impact on relationships can be
extraordinary. Reeves’s research
focuses on the US, but UK data
suggests that men often resent this
differential: couples where the woman
earns more are more likely to divorce
and the man more likely to cheat. It’s
striking that 45 per cent of female
breadwinners still do most of the
housework and, in nine out of ten
families, most of the parenting.
In Reeves’s data, a high-earning
female partner can pose a threat to
a man’s “provider” instincts, and he
drifts sullenly towards the door.
ALAMY
However, my other half earns twice as
much as me. Come payday the only
place I’m drifting is towards the tapas
bar for “date night” — her treat.
“Equality is easier for the affluent,”
Reeves warns. “With education and
resources, men are better able to
reinvent their roles.”
Reeves was a stay-at-home dad for
his three sons, George, Bryce and
Cameron, now all in their twenties.
He volunteered for school trips and
started a local scouts group (his
American wife, Erica, runs a health
food start-up). Despite his input, they
still took measures to limit their boys’
overexposure to the matriarchy. All
their schoolteachers were women and,
despite being listed as the primary
contact, Reeves had to lay down the
law when they insisted on calling his
wife when one of the boys was sick.
And when Cameron, at age six,
needed to see a doctor, Reeves
remembers his observation in the car
on the way home: “I didn’t know men
could be doctors.”
“Boys need male role models, so
when we needed childcare we hired
this Australian rugby-playing
babysitter called Michael,” Reeves
says. “To get them to do homework
he’d put up a tent in the garden or let
them play ball during breaks. Boys
sometimes need to be around men.
They need to know being a boisterous
physical man is good.”
Reeves’s metrics on male decline can
be quite startling. Once upon a time,
he says, big hands honed by
manual labour meant men
greeted others with a
knuckle-crushing grip. In
1985 the average male
grip-strength exerted 30lb
more force than that of a
woman of similar age. Now
they are about the same.
“It’s not a conservative
idea to worry about men’s
muscle tone and strength.
We used to work with our
bodies, which kept us fit.
Now men’s health is a real
issue across the world,”
he says.
In the UK, he says, we
are not as “brittle” about
discussing gender
differences as in the US.
Nothing illustrates that
better than an incident at
his local high school that
made headlines around the
world. In 2018 a group of
16-year-old boys made an
annotated list of girls they
fancied the most. One girl
Richard Reeves saw it and complained to the principal,
and media outlets promptly decried
the incident as an example of “toxic
masculinity”.
“The term ‘toxic masculinity’ is
now toxic itself because it often
pathologises ordinary behaviour,”
Reeves asserts. “Sure, making a list
wasn’t great and was probably worthy
of a quiet conversation. Boys need to
learn what’s appropriate for sure. But
Of Boys and Men: Why is it wrong to fancy people, are you a
the Modern Male Is monster? I hope the tide is turning on
Struggling, Why This that attitude a bit now.”
Matters, and What to Perhaps not quickly enough. Reeves
Do About It by Richard wanted to write a whole chapter about
V Reeves is published sex but thought better of it. “I
by Swift Press, £20 remember before the ’97 election
7
life
Tony Blair being described as a man
carrying a Ming vase across a highly
polished floor. One slip and he was
finished. I felt the same addressing sex.
There are only so many battles you
can fight at one time,” he says.
More broadly, Reeves offers solid
solutions. We should send boys to
school later and put them in front of
more male teachers. This dovetails
with encouraging men to explore
traditionally female jobs (he calls
them Heal jobs: health, education,
administration and literacy). Also,
recognising that fathers have a role
that is distinct from the mother
(“fathers teach, mothers tend”) would
mean, even if they are not in a
relationship, fathers could be
supported by generous parental leave
and flexible working. “That is the
script we need,” he says.
In the US male inequality issues
intersect most starkly with race. All
other things being equal, a white man
with a criminal record is still more
likely to win a job over a similarly
qualified black man without one.
That’s how Donald Trump, in his
assault on the loss of blue-collar jobs
he termed “American carnage”,
managed to channel the rage of many
black and Hispanic voters.
However, in the UK the crisis is best
viewed through the prism of class.
Reeves sounds genuinely mortified
that the coalition government missed
its chance to address this.
“With ‘levelling up’ and Brexit,
that white working-class anger is
being heard. The truth is, London
technocrats like me often looked at
the north/south divide but our hearts
weren’t really into fixing it. The
economic shocks of globalisation,
automation and immigration created
real victims but, honestly, we thought
propping up the de-industrialised
north wasn’t great policy. We thought:
‘Well, those people will eventually
have to move.’ The truth is our lives
down south were going pretty damn
well and we didn’t listen.”
Reeves remembers watching
proudly as his friend Clegg addressed
the United Nations in his capacity as
deputy prime minister.
“I thought it was momentous
because Nick was representing
David Cameron, who was on paternity
leave. I thought: ‘Here we are, the
mature, modern males in action.’
But Obama, the coalition . . . that
was the twilight of the wonks, the
well-presented, slick-suited
technocrats who rang the kids at
home every night . . . we were rejected.”
All that gave way to “pussy-
grabbing” Trump in America and, in
the UK, Boris Johnson, who wouldn’t
even say how many children he had.
“Boris spoke to working-class men,
even some women, because he was,
and I use the term advisedly, ‘his own
man’,” Reeves says.
Reeves is not advocating boorish
populism. He is saying that when boys
start failing then succumbing to
“deaths of despair”, we need to listen.
“I’ll go for a meeting at the White
House on, say, recruiting more female
teachers in Stem subjects. That’s all
great. But afterwards, over coffee, even
my most feminist liberal friends are
privately saying: ‘You know what? I’m
really just so worried about my boys.’ ”
8 Monday September 26 2022 | the times
ALEX BRENNER

artsfirst night Star-crossed lovers,

old and young:
Takako Matsu,
visual art Jun Shison,
Suzu Hirose and
classical
Marina Abramovic: Takaya Kamikawa Gurrelieder
Gates and Portals Royal Festival Hall
Modern Art Oxford {{{{(
{{(((

R
ecession, what recession?

‘I
t’s like a Hitchcock movie,” The London Philharmonic
says Marina Abramovic at the fielded about 150 musicians
opening of Gates and Portals at for Schoenberg’s Gurrelieder
Modern Art Oxford. “If I tell you on Saturday night, and what
who the killer is, it’s going to a glorious racket they made. I thought
spoil the story.” Tricky. How to give at first that Edward Gardner was
the gist of this exhibition without conducting it rather tamely, but I
giving the game away? misjudged him. He was just making
The Serbian artist, born in Belgrade, sure that this monster-raving loony of
then part of Yugoslavia, in 1946, has late romanticism didn’t peak too early.
made a career with works that are When it did, as the massed lungs of
somewhere between installations and the London Philharmonic Choir and
performance pieces. In Rhythm 10 London Symphony Chorus hurled out
(1973), she played the “Russian game”, the macabre ride of the dead vassals,
rapidly stabbing a knife in the gaps or in the unexpectedly optimistic
between her fingers. Each time she cut finale, the hairs on the back of my
herself, she started again with a neck didn’t so much stand up as bristle
different knife. In Rhythm 0 (1974), she like an overheated electric toothbrush.
invited visitors to do anything they That said, Gurrelieder isn’t a work
wished to her using one of 72 objects, you want to experience more than
including a rose, a feather, a whip, a once a decade, which is just as well,
gun and a bullet. In The House with the given the cost of performing it. For
Ocean View (2002), she lived on three this performance Jeremy Sams had

Romeo and Juliet live on

open platforms consuming only water been commissioned to provide a new
for 12 days. The event was recreated in translation of the bizarre
an episode of Sex and the City. sprechstimme melodrama near the
The first rule of Gates and Portals is: end, which the actor Alex Jennings
no phones. The second: no watches. declaimed grandly. Frankly, though,
You must put your trust in facilitators it sounded even weirder and more

trained in the Abramovic method.
They take your hand and lead you
through a series of spaces. Some are
marked on the floor like naughty
squares or dunce’s corners. You wear
noise-cancelling headphones and,
in one room, a blindfold. The whole
experience lasts an hour. Wear
comfortable shoes.
Abramovic talks of “striving to
reduce distractions”. “Nothing is wrong
with technology. It’s our addiction to
technology that’s the problem,” she
says. There is, at first, something
special about this experience. The
guides are gentle, the light rooms
serene. Be calm, switch off, surrender.
But what starts as an art-spa
becomes an endurance test. In the
final room you are left to lie on a slab.
Imagine a nursery game of Sleeping
Lions crossed with Aslan on the stone
table — restful but also sacrificial.
Initially soothed, by the end I felt fed
up, cold and abandoned. There is,
indeed, a portal, and being led through
it has a touch of Orpheus and
Eurydice, Dante and Virgil or St Peter
and the heavenly keys. But it’s a
strange artwork that asks you to close
your eyes — and not peek.
Laura Freeman
To March 5
I
Shakespeare, t’s Shakespeare, dear reader, but
not as we know it. Hideki Noda’s
Japanese arts zany, imaginative rewrite of
and the music Romeo and Juliet is a colourful
of Queen. This mash-up of the Bard, Japanese
history and culture, and the
show has it music of Queen. It operates on
all, says so many layers — and at such a
frenetic pace — that it’s almost
Debra Craine impossible to take it all in.
We are not in Renaissance Verona
theatre but 12th-century Japan, a time of
samurai warriors and warring clans,
A Night at the here the Minamoto and Taira. Juliet
Kabuki belongs to the former, Romeo to
Sadler’s Wells the latter. The twist is that our
{{{{( star-crossed lovers survived and now,
having been apart for the past
30 years, are looking back, determined
to change the trajectory of their
thwarted love affair. Juliet ended up in
a nunnery, Romeo became a prisoner
of war. Their story is told by Old Juliet
and Old Romeo, who interact with
their younger selves throughout the
two-act production. It’s a gag-driven
comedy, a bittersweet tragedy.
It’s also a play with music —
Queen’s 1975 album A Night at the
Opera. Sometimes the songs are heard
in mere snippets; at others they are
given full rein and it’s impossible not
to be knocked out by Love of My Life
and Bohemian Rhapsody blasting
through the speakers.
Noda’s text (he also directs and
stars as Juliet’s hysterical nurse) takes
us through the entire action of
Shakespeare’s play by the interval,
blending the Bard with references to
contemporary Japanese culture, social
media, cryptocurrency and Uber. The
second act leapfrogs into the 20th
century and a prisoner of war camp in
Siberia where Romeo is incarcerated,
like hundreds of thousands of
Japanese during the Second World
War. Sister Juliet is ministering to the
war-wounded; she also has a brother.
We are way off piste here.
The hard-working cast climb nimbly
up and down walls, rush through
doors, fight, frolic and race around
with props. Suzu Hirose and Jun
Shison are beyond sweet as Young
Juliet and Young Romeo; Takako
Matsu and Takaya Kamikawa give the
show its depth as the lovers’ older,
more damaged selves.
The evening is crazy, raucous and
too long, but somehow has a
wonderful logic all its own.
And when Matsu’s Old Juliet finally
reads the letter Romeo sent her —
30 years too late — it breaks your
heart.
impenetrable in English than German.
As the doomed lovers, Lise
Lindstrom produced power but not
enough lustrous tone while with David
Butt Philip it was sometimes the
reverse. Those 150 instrumentalists
take some topping. No such problems
for Karen Cargill, however. She was
majestic in the Song of the Wood Dove.
Earlier on Saturday the exceptional
Icelandic pianist Vikingur Olafsson
continued his Southbank residency
with a wonderful recital of etudes by
Philip Glass and a new suite of nine
little pieces, Mirror Images, by the
British composer Edmund Finnis
({{{{{). I have never heard the
Glass pieces played with such control
and imagination. Olafsson seems able
to delineate half a dozen strands in the
music simultaneously, fading them up
and down so that sometimes the
Steinway blazed like an orchestra;
elsewhere it tinkled like a distant
glockenspiel. Finnis was clearly aware
of such technical majesty when
writing for Olafsson. His new pieces
are exquisitely crafted, Ravel-like at
times, but also full of gorgeous
overtone effects as well as some
thrillingly virtuosic requirements.
Richard Morrison
Gurrelieder is on BBC Sounds

MANUEL HARLAN

T
his is the play that would
theatre have helped to keep us sane
during lockdown. Jonathan
Eureka Day Spector’s comedy, set in an
Old Vic, SE1 achingly right-on private
{{{{( school in Berkeley, California, had its
first performance (in Berkeley) in 2018,
yet it captures the passions over
vaccination and misinformation that
bubbled up at the pandemic’s height.
Katy Rudd’s breezy production has
Hollywood star power in the form of
Helen Hunt, unflashy as a painfully
sanctimonious parent-governor. It’s a
testament to the quality of Spector’s
writing that you end the evening
feeling a smidgin of sympathy for her.
At first, anyway, all is calm as the
school’s board members gather in a
classroom under the leadership of Don
(Mark McKinney), an ageing hippy
Star power: Helen Hunt as Suzanne
who carries himself with all the quiet
dignity of the Dalai Lama. It soon
becomes clear, though, that everyone
is walking on eggshells, trying to
negotiate the complexities of class and
race. (Spector’s detailed stage notes
reveal that Hunt’s character, Suzanne,
lives in a home that is now worth
$4 million. Meanwhile, Don, fount of
all wisdom, doesn’t actually have kids.)
An outbreak of mumps quickly
sows discord. When the health
authority urges pupils who haven’t
had the MMR vaccine to stay at home,
Suzanne reveals her antivax
sympathies. She argues with the new
board member Carina (Susan Kelechi
Watson), a black lesbian who has been
treated with condescension by the
others and who has not yet bought
into all the touchy-feely sensibilities.
Things go from bad to worse in an
online forum where Don tries to
find consensus while the unseen
parents post comments that descend
into all-out mud wrestling. It’s an
uproariously funny sequence, the
snark and insults scrolling across the
ceiling on Rob Howell’s set.
Elsewhere, some of the satire of
woke values is played out in the overly
emphatic tone of a Saturday Night Live
sketch. But then Spector cleverly shifts
gear, allowing us to see Suzanne more
sympathetically. His new play of ideas,
This Much I Know, which has just
opened in Berkeley, is apparently
inspired by the psychologist Daniel
Kahneman’s bestseller Thinking, Fast
and Slow. I can’t wait to see it.
Clive Davis
To October 31, oldvictheatre.com
the times | Monday September 26 2022
L
ia Williams throws
herself into her work,
hard. Whether she is
playing the drily
manipulative MI5 agent
Gemma Garland in the
BBC thriller The Capture
or transforming her looks
to play Wallis Simpson in The Crown,
she goes for it. For the former she
spent days with real spies. To play
Blanche Dubois in A Streetcar Named
Desire she visited New Orleans then
travelled up the Mississippi to visit
Tennessee Williams’s home town.
As committed to her craft as she is,
though, it comes as a surprise when
she arrives for our lunchtime
interview pushing herself around on a
padded knee scooter, her lower leg in a
cast. Is this Williams going more
Method than ever before for her latest
role, playing the terminally ill Ella
Rentheim opposite Simon Russell
Beale and Clare Higgins in Ibsen’s
John Gabriel Borkman?
Well, sure enough, she and her
director, Nicholas Hytner, have
factored disability into the role. She
will appear in a specially made boot
that will conceal the cast on her leg.
They have decided that Ella is
suffering from a wasting disease.
Beyond that: no, alas, there is
nothing fictional about Williams’s
injury. She has barely sat down when
she starts explaining how the past few
months have been the worst of her life.
She was in New York over the summer
for what should have been a triumph:
reprising her role as Klytemnestra in
Robert Icke’s version of the Greek
tragedy Oresteia, which first appeared
in London to rave reviews in 2015.
She was also playing Gertrude in
Icke’s Hamlet, which was appearing
alongside Oresteia at the Park Avenue
Armory. Her partner of four years, the
actor Angus Wright, who played her
husband Agamemnon in Oresteia and
Claudius in the London Hamlet (and
who also — coincidentally, she says —
appeared in season two of The
Capture), was reprising his roles too.
Then, in a late rehearsal, Williams,
57, missed a step she didn’t know was
there, tore her achilles tendon in two
places. She had to be carried off the
stage. Four days later she had surgery.
She was forbidden to fly home for fear
of blood clots. The show was thrown
into chaos, but went on for its three-
month run, with Jennifer Ehle
stepping in as Gertrude and Anastasia
Hille as Klytemnestra, while Williams
was confined to her apartment.
“I had to endure months and
months of mental and physical agony,”
she says. “I can honestly say it was the
worst experience of my life.”
Friends suggested things she might
read or do while she recovered. She
wasn’t up to any of it. “I just went into
the darkest imaginable depression. If
you listen to footballers or dancers or
anybody that this happens to, they tell
a similar story, that you feel like you’ve
lost yourself because you express
yourself through your body. So I
realised that I sort of lost myself in the
process of losing both those roles and
not being able to move. My immobility
became almost intolerable because I’m
so expressive physically. It was a very,
very dark experience.”
It didn’t help that Klytemnestra,
who kills her husband after he
sacrifices their daughter to the gods,
wouldn’t leave her head. “I know it
sounds crazy. But I think we inhabit
more than we know of the roles we
play. The character didn’t go away.”
Will Ibsen help
me recover from
months of agony?
Lia Williams terrified us in The Capture, but what
she endured in New York over the summer was the
scariest time of her life, she tells Dominic Maxwell
What’s more, Wright was still acting
in both shows. “Leaving every evening
to go and do that thing I loved so
much and coming back so much was
like a re-wounding every day. So we
had a bit of a Greek tragedy of our
own going on in our apartment in
Harlem. But we love each other so
much, we held on tight and that got us
through it.”
What, though, of her career? She is
working on physical rehab, but she
expects it will take until next spring to
make a full recovery. She assumed that
Hytner would tell her that she would
have to give up the part she had signed
up for in John Gabriel Borkman.
“But he said the opposite,” she says
with a smile. “He said it might even
help the role. And I said to him, ‘But
I have suffered. I am suffering
mentally.’ And he said, ‘Well, see this
as part of your recovery.’ So he has
been an inspiration for me, and
Simon and Clare have been amazingly
supportive.”
FRANCESCO GUIDICINI
Lia Williams with She has lost some confidence,
Simon Russell Beale in though. “Because I fell down on stage,
John Gabriel Borkman I’ve been very, very frightened of
at the Bridge Theatre getting up on stage again. It’s terrifying,
in London. Top right: genuinely, and I’ve been doing this for
with Ron Perlman and over 30 years. It’s been a real battle
Ben Miles in the hit TV with myself to try and get back up
drama The Capture there. But I feel like, with Nick’s help,
I am going to make a full recovery.”
It was always going to be a
demanding role: Ella Rentheim is a
woman haunted by her thwarted love
9
arts
for the disgraced businessman
Borkman, whose son she brought up
as her own. It’s not her name in the
title, but in Lucinda Coxon’s modern-
day translation she is about as
prominent as Beale’s character.
Still, it fits with a career-long habit
of testing herself. She twice appeared
in West End productions in which she
and her co-star swapped roles from
night to night: in Harold Pinter’s Old
Times with Kristin Scott Thomas in
2013 and in Schiller’s Mary Stuart with
Juliet Stevenson between 2016 and
2018. Her Nineties stage successes
included demanding, meaty roles
opposite David Suchet in David
Mamet’s Oleanna and Michael
Gambon in David Hare’s Skylight.
“I don’t know why I have never
taken the easy path,” she says with a
chuckle. “Maybe I will from now on.”
Actually, she adds, maybe she sort of
does know why — and it’s also why,
despite forever being in work, she has
never quite been outright famous. It’s
that fascination with transformation.
“I really enjoy disappearing into
those things. So I don’t see myself as
Lia Williams playing a role; I see the
role. I actually really enjoy being
anonymous because it means that I
can just be a storyteller. And I like that
best of all.”
Off stage she is upbeat about her
challenges, far more expressive than
the “morally dubious” but “deeply
patriotic” character she so enjoyed
researching for The Capture. “I met all
sorts of people. I met an undercover
agent — I can’t tell you anything
about it, though, I’d be taken out of
here! One of the enormous gifts of
acting is that you get to meet
extraordinary people because you get
to play extraordinary parts.”
So Williams is optimistic. In the
spring, she hopes to act at last with her
son, Joshua James, in a production of
Noël Coward’s play The Vortex.
And just as that gloomy old genius
Ibsen believed that you have to go
through great suffering to learn about
yourself, she thinks there are upsides
to what she is going through. Being
committed to your work is terrific, but
it can’t be your entire existence.
“I think you just value your life
more. You realise what an incredible
machine your body is. And you value
relationships more, and friendships
more, and the people you love more.
You realise that they are the thing that
everything spins off and if you are like
John Gabriel Borkman, if you only
spin off the thing that you do, the thing
that you feel defines you in life, then at
some point you’re going to be bereft.
“I am a storyteller, I absolutely am; I
couldn’t do anything else with my life,
there’s no choice. But I value the
people I love more.”
John Gabriel Borkman is at the
Bridge Theatre, London SE1, to
November 26, bridgetheatre.co.uk.
Both seasons of The Capture are on
BBC iPlayer
10 Monday September 26 2022 | the times

times2

Your weekday brain boost

More
puzzles
Pages 14-16

Every day, Monday to Thursday, a page of extra Sudoku super fiendish Train Tracks
puzzles to give your brain an extended workout Lay tracks to enable the train to travel
from village A to village B. The numbers
indicate how many sections of rail go in
each row and column. There are only
Samurai easy straight rails and curved rails. The track
cannot cross itself.
Fill each grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box
contains the digits 1 to 9. Where the puzzles overlap, the rows and
columns do not go beyond their usual length.

Killer deadly
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set of
cells joined by dotted lines must add up to the target
number in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells
joined by dotted lines, a digit cannot be repeated.
Futoshiki
Fill the blank squares so that every row and
column contains each of the numbers 1 to 5
once only. The symbols between the squares
indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.

Codeword
Every letter in the crossword-style grid, right, has been
substituted for a number from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet
Thursday’s SAMURAI

appears in the grid at least once. Use the letters already provided solutions
to work out the identity of further letters. Enter letters in the
main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.

Quintagram® Suko
Solve
Solveall
all five crypticclues
five cryptic cluesusing
using
each
eachletter
letter underneath onceonly
underneath once only
1 Short talk with Irish officer
presiding (5)

-2 Speed
- -of -some-such as terns (5) QUINTAGRAM
1 Soft FUTOSHIKI CODEWORD
-3 Tell-about
- -bishop’s
- watch chain 2 Poser
3 Oyster
4 Olivier
(6) 5 Fer-de-lance

-4 Elect
- to- go-back
- -(6)
SUKO

-5 Delayed
- - reaction
- - -from twin
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in
facing lift (6,4) the spaces so that the SUDOKU KILLER
TRAIN TRACKS
number in each circle is
---------- equal to the sum of the four
A A A A B B C D surrounding spaces, and
E E E E E H H I each colour total is correct
K L L N O R R R
Solutions in
R S T T T T U U tomorrow’s Times2
the times | Monday September 26 2022
This baby-faced cop stands out in a man’s world
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Karen Pirie
ITV
{{{{(
Bloodlands
BBC1
{{(((
‘I
t’s not a great time to be called
Karen,” said DS Karen Pirie in
Karen Pirie. She’s not wrong,
but the bigger question is how
someone who looks about 18 got
saddled with a name synonymous with
entitled, middle-aged hell-women. I
thought for anyone under 30 it was as
fogeyish and practically extinct as
Carol, not that I’m hurt or anything.
Anyway, I liked Karen Pirie, a
creation of Val McDermid. It felt
modern and fresh (well, as fresh as yet
another cop show can be), which is
Radio choice
Ben Dowell
Book of the Week
Radio 4, 9.45am
In 1905, the 32-year-old
Ralph Vaughan Williams
was in a pub in King’s Lynn,
where a fisherman called
James “Duggie” Carter sang
The Captain’s Apprentice.
The tune was beautiful and
the “melody, harmony and
feeling” was instrumental
in shaping Vaughan
Williams’s composition
and a life partly dedicated
to preserving the folk
songs of this island. As well
as offering a portrait of
the composer’s life and
times, Caroline Davison’s
book examines how
the landscape of the Fens
inspired Vaughan Williams’s
work. Davison, above,
also delves into the
plight of cabin boys on
the high seas.
our tv newsletter
Sign up to a weekly briefing of
the only shows you need to watch
thetimes.co.uk/bulletins
how Lauren Lyle played the lead
character, a sarky, baby-faced detective
in a man’s world, underestimated by
her peers. Although that could partly
be because she looks like a kid on
work experience in Dr Martens boots
and a school tank top.
I also liked the dovetailed
storytelling, which surprises me as
flashbacks are usually my wet blanket
turn-off. But here the flashbacks to
25 years ago in St Andrews, when the
body of a young woman (obvs) was
“found” by three local university
students, did not fracture the
momentum but were made part of the
main narrative, the 1996 characters as
interesting as the present ones.
It flicked between time frames, and
although young and older versions of
the students looked nothing like each
other, as a dramatic device it worked,
apart from that terrible drug dancing
they did to Pulp’s Common People.
A posh girl with a crime podcast had
poked the local police into reopening
the cold case and they thought a
female DS would look good for “the
optics”. This fed into the drama’s
general feminist theme. A young
murdered barmaid had been judged
for being out late; a young female
detective was dumped by her
boyfriend because she got the case he
wanted. “I don’t want . . . men thinking
I’m a fraud with a pair of tits,” Karen
told him, “a walking, talking PR win.”
Times Radio
Digital Only
5.00am Anna Cunningham with Early
Breakfast. Early morning headlines 6.00
Aasmah Mir and Stig Abell with Times
Radio Breakfast. Monday’s big stories and
interviews 10.00 Matt Chorley Live from the
Labour Party Conference. A full primer on the
political week 1.00pm Mariella Frostrup.
News, views and reviews 4.00 John Pienaar
with Times Radio Drive Live from the Labour
Party Conference. Analysis of the day’s news
7.00 Henry Bonsu 10.00 Carole Walker Live
from the Labour Party Conference. Today’s
headlines and tomorrow’s front pages
1.00am Stories of Our Times 1.30 Red Box
2.00 Highlights from Times Radio
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30
Ken Bruce. Gabby Logan chooses her Tracks
of My Years 12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm
Steve Wright 5.00 Sara Cox 6.30 Sara Cox’s
Half Wower 7.00 Jo Whiley’s Shiny Happy
Playlist 7.30 Jo Whiley. Jo chats to actor
Sam Rockwell about his new film, See How
They Run 9.00 The Blues Show with Cerys
Matthews. Music from the blues scene
10.00 Gary Davies’ Magnificent 7. Uplifting
tunes and essential throwbacks 10.30 Gary
Davies’ Rhythm Nation. R’n’B and soulful
tunes 12.00 OJ Borg 3.00am Pick of the
Pops 4.00 Early Breakfast Show
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show. Including 7.00, 8.00 News.
7.30, 8.30 News headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Georgia Mann presents music and features,
including Song of the Day and Slow Moment
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Weber (1786-1826)
Donald Macleod explores Carl Maria von
Weber’s life and work, beginning by looking
at how he survived the extreme dramas of
his early years, swerving from crisis to crisis.
Weber (Grande polonaise in E flat, Op 21,
J59; Der Beherrscher der Geister — The Ruler
of the Spirits, J122; Clarinet Quintet in B
flat, Op 34, J182; I. Allegro; Symphony No 1
in C major, Op 19, J50; I. Allegro con fuoco; II.
Andante; Silvana — Act I: Das Hifthorn
schallt — Huntsmen’s Chorus; and Act I:
So soll denn dieses Herz nie Liebe finden)
Lauren Lyle as DS Karen Pirie, a creation of Val McDermid
1.00pm Live Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Andrew McGregor presents a live recital from
London’s Wigmore Hall by the cellist Laura
van der Heijden and the pianist Tom Poster
in music spanning three centuries. Jacquet
de la Guerre (Violin Sonata No 1 in D minor);
Errollyn Wallen (Dervish); Rachmaninov
(Vocalise Op 34 No 14); and George
Walker (Sonata for cello and piano)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Alexander Melnikov is one of the week’s
featured artists, and he is the soloist in
Brahms’ First Piano Concerto with the BBC
Scottish Symphony Orchestra under Thomas
Dausgaard. Louise Farrenc (Overture No.2 in
E flat, Op.24); Claude Lejeune (Cigne je suis
candeur); Jean Sibelius (The Swan of Tuonela
— Lemminkainen Suite); Robert Schumann
(Piano Quartet in E flat, Op.47); Johannes
Brahms (Piano Concerto No.1 in D minor,
Op.15); and Johann Sebastian Bach (Sei Lob
und Ehr dem Höchsten Gut, BWV.117)
4.30 New Generation Artists
The cellist Andrei Ionita, the viola player
Eivind Ringstad and the pianist David Meier
perform. Bach (Suite No 3 in C, BWV.1009);
Grieg (The First Meeting, Op 21 No 1)
5.00 In Tune
Katie Derham is joined by the singer Natalie
Dessay, and the trumpeter Laura Jurd
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An eclectic non-stop mix of music
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Fiona Talkington presents a performance
of Haydn’s Creation at Amsterdam’s
Concertgebouw with Phillippe Herreweghe
conducting the Royal Concertgebouw
Orchestra, his ensmeble Collegium
Vocale Ghent and an all-star line up of
soloists in the joyful choral work. Haydn
(The Creation — Die Schopfung)
9.30 Northern Drift
Elizabeth Alker is joined at the Trades Club in
Hebden Bridge by Carmen Marcus, who talks
about her new collection The Catch. The
composer and sound recordist Hayley Suviste
plays music inspired by the urban landscapes
and green spaces around Manchester, mixing
clarinet, electronics and field recordings
10.00 Music Matters
Kate Molleson chats to the Icelandic pianist
Vikingur Olafsson, while the director Robert
Carsen and opera historian Flora Wilson talk
about how Aida is viewed by Egyptians (r)
10.45 The Essay: Double Vision
Recorded at this year’s Contains Strong
Language festival in Birmingham
11.00 Night Tracks
Sara Mohr-Pietsch presents
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
With Martha Kearney and Justin Webb
9.00 Start the Week
In front of an audience at the National
Science and Media Museum in Bradford,
Adam Rutherford and guests focus
on scientific curiosity (3)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
The Captain’s Apprentice
By Caroline Davidson. Read by Poppy Miller.
See Radio Choice (1/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Room 5
Helena Merriman talks to a woman who
had to make a life-changing decision after
an unexpected diagnosis (3/6) (r)
11.30 The Frost Tapes
Archive interviews featuring Paul McCartney,
John Lennon and George Harrison (8/8)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 The Scramble for Rare Earths
Misha Glenny explores rare earth metals and
other critical raw materials (1/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 This Cultural Life
The actor, writer and comedian James
Corden talks to John Wilson (7/13)
3.00 Brain of Britain
Nationwide general knowledge contest
with Russell Davies (9/17)
3.30 The Food Programme
Sheila Dillon meets pioneering catering
teams improving food in the NHS (r)
4.00 Sounding the Cape
Nathaniel Mann presents a sound
journey through South Africa (r)
4.30 Beyond Belief
Stories of converting from one faith
to another. With Ernie Rea (7/8)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Mark Steel’s in Town
The comedian concludes the series in Paris
7.00 The Archers
Vince makes a surprising offer
7.15 Front Row
8.00 The Other Black Door
How think tanks and pressure groups have
shaped the last decade of British politics
11
television & radio
ITV
I must say I expected this to be
wrapped up in one episode as is the
way with ITV’s two-hour Sunday
dramas, but, no, this is a very slow
burn. Perhaps it will be too slow for
some people, but the ratings will tell us.
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but
Bloodlands is so ludicrous I’m almost
enjoying it. As a comedy. We are
supposed to believe now that a
detective (DCI Tom Brannick, played
by James Nesbitt) can prise a suspect
out of a safe house where he is being
guarded by police, drive him to a
remote spot and shoot him, then dress
up in a white bodysuit complete with
mouth mask (why?), row a boat out on
a lake and dump the body without a
soul seeing or hearing a thing.
Brannick’s panto-villain expressions
and dancing eyebrows are still
unintentionally hilarious and the best
thing about it, actually. I will admit
that there is something ingenious
about making a ruthless, greedy serial
killer cop the protagonist, a man
whose only redeeming feature is his
love for his daughter. Even though
she wears a woolly hat indoors, which
is annoying.
Something’s going on between him
and not-so-grieving widow Mrs Foyle
(Victoria Smurfit), whose name I’m
afraid I only hear as “Mrs Doyle”, as
in Father Ted. If you ask me he’ll be
“comforting” her soon, with his
trousers around his ankles.
8.30 Crossing Continents
Israel’s ultra-Orthodox Jews’ struggle
11.00 Naga Munchetty 1.00pm Nihal
Arthanayake 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live
to come to terms with child sex abuse Sport 7.45 Live football: England v Germany
scandals. Last in the series (r) (Kick-off 7.45). Live commentary on the
9.00 Music Made in the Middle Nations League match at Wembley Stadium
Jamelia explores music made in 10.00 Colin Murray 1.00am Dotun Adebayo
the West Midlands (1/2) (r)
9.30 Start the Week
Adam Rutherford and guests examine
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
scientific curiosity (3) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight 5.00am Early Breakfast 6.00 talkSPORT
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Stone Blind Breakfast with Laura Woods 10.00 Jim
By Natalie Haynes (6/10) White and Simon Jordan 1.00pm Hawksbee
11.00 Techno: A Social History and Jacobs 4.00 talkSPORT Drive with Andy
The DJ and producer Ash Lauryn explores Goldstein and Darren Bent 7.00 Kick Off:
the history of techno music (1/3) (r) England v Germany (Kick-off 7.45). Live
11.30 Paul Sinha’s General Knowledge commentary on the UEFA Nations League
Fascinating facts about writers (1/4) (r) Group A3 match at Wembley Stadium
12.00 News and Weather 10.00 Sports Bar 1.00am Extra Time
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Captain’s Apprentice (r) TalkRadio
12.48 Shipping Forecast Digital only
1.00 As BBC World Service 5.00am James Max 6.30 The Julia
Hartley-Brewer Breakfast Show 10.00 The
Radio 4 Extra Independent Republic of Mike Graham
1.00pm Ian Collins 4.00 Vanessa Feltz
Digital only
7.00 The News Desk 8.00 Piers Morgan
8.00am Round the Horne 8.30 Yes Minister
Uncensored 9.00 The Talk 10.00 Daisy
9.00 Wordaholics 9.30 Country Matters
McAndrew 11.00 Piers Morgan Uncensored
10.00 Pressing the Flesh (r) 11.00 TED
Radio Hour 11.50 Inheritance Tracks 12.00 12.00 Petrie Hosken 4.00am The Talk
Round the Horne 12.30pm Yes Minister
1.00 Death May Surprise Us 1.30 Trueman
and Riley 2.00 Middle England 2.15 Cyrano
6 Music
Digital only
de Bergerac 2.30 Sibelius: A Symphony That 5.00am Chris Hawkins 7.30 Lauren Laverne
Burned 3.00 Pressing the Flesh (r) 4.00 10.30 Mary Anne Hobbs 1.00pm Craig
Wordaholics 4.30 Country Matters 5.00 Charles 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley
Hazelbeach 5.30 Mark Steel’s in Town 6.00
Trouble with Lichen 6.30 A Good Read 7.00
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 In Their Own Words:
Primal Scream 1.00am Sounds of a City
Round the Horne. Julian and Sandy become — Glasgow 2.00 The First Time with Bobby
showbiz accountants 7.30 Yes Minister. Gillespie 3.00 Primal Scream at the BBC
Comedy with Paul Eddington 8.00 Death 4.00 The Primal Scream Playlist
May Surprise Us. Stars Leslie Sands. From
1984 8.30 Trueman and Riley. Every Dog Has
His Day, by Brian B Thompson 9.00 TED Virgin Radio
Radio Hour. Manoush Zomorodi travels the Digital only
6.30am The Chris Evans Breakfast Show
cosmos with TED science curator David Biello
with Sky 10.00 Eddy Temple-Morris
9.50 Inheritance Tracks. Record producer and
DJ Paul Oakenfold chooses two tracks 10.00 1.00pm Tim Cocker 4.00 Gaby Roslin
Comedy Club: Mark Steel’s in Town. The 7.00 Bam 10.00 Olivia Jones 1.00am
Sean Goldsmith 4.00 Steve Denyer
comedian visits Newport 10.30 Rubbish.
Martin falls victim to his own scheme 11.00
The News Quiz. Topical comedy panel game
11.30 Lionel Nimrod’s Inexplicable World.
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
Comedy with Richard Herring
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00
Alexander Armstrong 12.00 Lucy Coward
Radio 5 Live 4.00pm John Brunning 7.00 Smooth
MW: 693, 909 Classics at Seven. Presented by Zeb Soanes
5.00am Wake Up to Money 6.00 10.00 Smooth Classics. 1.00am Bill Overton
5 Live Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell 4.00 Early Breakfast . With Sam Pittis
12 Monday September 26 2022 | the times

television & radio

Viewing Guide We first meet Grieff as laughs it off in a feet. A parallel plot the character of Harry’s affordable clothes for
one half of a strange moment that feels takes us to another son’s tutor Janice (Dolly
Trouble at women. Green is also
Ben Dowell double act with the reminiscent of the world; a lovely English Wells). We met her in Topshop making a name for
BBC2, 9pm
hulking serial killer show’s writer Steven parish where the vicar the first scene, when himself, buying BHS in
Inside Man Dillon (Atkins Moffatt’s skill in Harry (David Tennant) she was being a good Philip Green once 2000 and, in 2002, he
BBC1, 9pm
Estimond). He is being creating three-pipe is doing his best to help Samaritan to the bestrode the business has his eye on taking
“Everyone is asked to solve a case by problems for Benedict everyone, including a English journalist Beth and fashion pages as over Arcadia, Topshop’s
a murderer,
Top a US senator. Why is a Cumberbatch’s troubled parishioner (Lydia West), who was the king of the high parent company which
you just have
pick certain amount of Sherlock Holmes. The who hands him a USB being harassed on a street. The story begins also owns Wallis and
to meet the money paid into the breezy wit makes you stick that we suspect train. No spoilers on in 1999 with Topshop, Dorothy Perkins. This
right person.” The politician’s account uneasy, especially when will become significant. how these two worlds under the leadership of kick-starts a battle for
words of the death row every time he has sex we find out Grieff killed What, the show asks, come together, but it’s the brand director Jane the soul of the retailer.
inmate Jefferson Grieff with his wife? It’s an his wife and Dillon does doing the right cleverly plotted and Shepherdson, making a It’s an intriguing saga
(Stanley Tucci) are easy one for the brainy killed multiple women thing mean? It’s a strangely rewarding. name for itself by packed with powerful
worth remembering. killer to solve, and he and ate his mother’s question pertinent to Continues tomorrow. creating desirable and personalities.

BBC1 BBC2 ITV Channel 4 Channel 5

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Morning Live. Kym Marsh and 6.30am Money for Nothing (r) 7.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00am Good Morning Britain. Morning magazine 6.10am Countdown (r) 6.50 3rd Rock from the Sun (r) 6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine. The broadcaster
Early

Gethin Jones host the weekday magazine show 10.00
Northern Justice. Civil Litigation specialist Richard Hardy
seeks justice for his elderly client, who was involved in an
altercation with a fellow dog walker who turned out to be
a police officer (AD) 10.30 For Love or Money. A man
dubious of another man’s claims of an imminent
inheritance (r) 11.15 Homes Under the Hammer.
Properties in Lancashire, south London and Warwickshire
being sold at auction (r) (AD) 12.15pm Bargain Hunt.
Eric Knowles presents the show from Ardingly in West
Sussex (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Bear discovers a
shocking secret (AD) 2.15 Money for Nothing. Sarah
Moore presents the show from Keynsham recycling centre
3.00 Escape to the Country. Jules Hudson helps a couple
find a new home in the Welsh Borders (AD) 3.45
Antiques Road Trip. Margie Cooper and Tim Medhurst
explore Cumbria in a campervan 4.30 The Tournament.
Knockout quiz hosted by Alex Scott 5.15 Pointless.
Quiz hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
(r) 8.00 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (r) (SL) 9.00 BBC
News 10.00 BBC News 11.45 Politics Live Conference
2022 1.00pm Chase the Case (r) 1.45 Eggheads (r) 2.15
Glorious Gardens from Above. Christine Walkden sails
into Wales in a hot-air balloon, learning how to brace an
ancient yew at Powis Castle, and helping to restore an
obscured view in the Dingle Garden (r) 3.00 Flipping
Profit. Philip Serrell, Melissa Downhill and Micaela Sharp
head to Hay-on-Wye in Powys, where they have a day to
find bargains they can turn into a profit (r) (AD) 3.45
Home Is Where the Art Is. Three artists travel to
Morecambe Bay (r) (AD) 4.30 Murder, Mystery and My
Family. Criminal barristers Sasha Wass and Jeremy Dein
reexamine a case from 1882 in which a man was hanged
for the murder of his neighbour (r) (AD) 5.15 Flog It!
Claire Rawle and Adam Partridge appraise collectables
reflecting the local Kent character at Chiddingstone Castle
(r) 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of Games. With Eddie
Kadi, Natasha Raskin Sharp, Charlie Stayt and Faye Tozer
6.30 Strictly: It Takes Two. New series. Rylan returns
with the fanzine devoted to the ballroom dancing show
featuring a lively mix of news and current affairs, plus
health, entertainment and lifestyle features 9.00
Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news,
as well as showbiz stories and gossip. Presented by
Lorraine Kelly 10.00 This Morning. Chat, lifestyle
features, advice and competitions 12.30pm Loose
Women. Interviews and studio discussion from a female
perspective 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s
Real Deal. David Dickinson and the team visit
Peterborough, where Fay Rutter is impressed by a military
chess set and a cockpit control panel lands on James
Layte’s table (AD) 3.00 Tenable. A team of five family
members answer questions about top 10 lists, then try to
score a perfect 10 in the final round 4.00 Tipping Point.
Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz in which
contestants drop tokens down a choice of four chutes in
the hope of winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase.
Bradley Walsh presents as four contestants answer
general knowledge questions and work as a team to take
on one of the ruthless Chasers and secure a cash prize
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
(AD) 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) (AD) 9.00
Frasier (r) (AD) 10.30 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA. In the conclusion of Gordon Ramsay’s visit to La
Galleria 33 in Boston, Massachusetts, he confronts the
owners with an ultimatum and finds himself stuck in a
war between the staff (r) 11.25 Channel 4 News
Summary 11.30 The Great House Giveaway. In the West
Midlands town of Brownhills, a carpenter and a kitchen
and bathroom fitter set out to renovate a run-down
end-of-terrace and turn it into a modern family home (r)
12.30pm Steph’s Packed Lunch. Weekday magazine show
hosted by Steph McGovern 2.10 Countdown. Gold
medal-winning curling champion Eve Muirhead is in
Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place in the Sun. An Essex
woman seeks a holiday home in Bulgaria (r) 4.00
Château DIY. A couple enjoy their first week
as château owners (AD) 5.00 Four in a Bed. The
competition starts at Gracelands Glamping, in Ballyronan,
County Londonderry (r) 5.30 The Perfect Pitch.
New series. Motorhome enthusiasts explore
Britain’s luxury campsites 6.00 Channel 4 News
and guests discuss the issues of the day with co-host
Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out
viewers’ correspondence 12.45pm Holiday Homes in the
Sun. Amanda Lamb, JB Gill and Sam Pinkham are in
Sorrento, on the bay of Naples in Italy, competing to find
the best holiday home with a truly mind-blowing view
1.40 5 News at Lunchtime 1.45 Home and Away. Leah is
on a tirade against Justin’s marketing decision. In a fit of
desperation, Cash tries to escape his hospital bed to get
answers about the shooting (r) (AD) 2.15 FILM: The
Stranger in My Home (12, TVM, 2020) A man hires a
woman to house-sit for him, but she ends up posing as
his new girlfriend with no intentions of leaving. Thriller
starring Anna Marie Dobbins 4.00 Bargain-Loving Brits in
the Sun. New series. Documentary following Brits who
moved to Spain, swapping the damp and grey conditions
of the UK for a new “cheap-as-chips” life in the Spanish
sun 5.00 5 News at 5 6.00 Cash in the Attic. Jules
Hudson and appraiser Jessica Wall are in Caerphilly to
meet a 70-year-old widow and a 54-year-old who are
good friends and neighbours (AD) 6.55 5 News Update

7.00 The One Show The first visit of 7.00 The Crash Detectives A series of 7.00 Live England International 7.00 Police Interceptors Officers give
7PM

the week to the One Show studio
7.30 EastEnders Eve finds Suki walking
through the Square in her nightdress.
Scarlett spots Janine in the back of
Frankie’s incriminating photo (AD)
8.00 Panorama: Channel Crisis — Can
8PM
desperate 999 calls flood in to report
a car travelling the wrong way
along the motorway (3/4)
7.30 Mastermind Specialist subjects are
the history of the Orkney Islands,
the films of Laurel and Hardy,
Elizabeth David, and Garfield Sobers
8.00 Only Connect Victoria Coren Mitchell
7.30 Emmerdale There is trouble at
Home Farm, and Vinny is stunned to
see his home is for sale (AD)
8.00 Coronation Street Leo threatens to
Football: England v Germany
(Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of the UEFA
Nations League Group A3 fixture,
which takes place at Wembley
Stadium. When the sides met back in
June, the Three Lions needed a late
penalty from Harry Kane to rescue a
point in Munich after Jonas Hofmann
had given Germany the lead. England
chase when a handcuffed suspect
makes a break for it, while police
comb the streets for a man who
has threatened to stab his former
partner and harm her horse (r)
7.55 5 News Update
8.00 Motorway Cops: Catching Britain’s

People Smugglers Be Stopped?
Jane Corbin investigates the smugglers
who get people into Britain
8.30 Our Lives The work of Northern
Ireland’s only female rat catcher (AD)
9.00 Inside Man New series. Drama
9PM
hosts another first-round match as the
Cunning Planners take on the Seagulls
8.30 University Challenge Four students
from Cranfield University pit their
wits against a team from Royal
Holloway, University of London
9.00 Trouble at Topshop Charting the
expose Stephen’s lies, and Evelyn
starts work at the charity shop.
Meanwhile, Ed and Michael urge
James not to make any rash decisions
concerning his future. In need of
cash, Bernie contacts Fern (AD)
9.00 The Suspect Having finally uncovered
have continued to find wins hard to
come by in this competition since, but
they did overcome their old rivals the
last time they faced them at this
ground, prevailing 2-0 in the last 16 of
Euro 2020. Jules Breach presents, with
analysis from Joe Cole, Eniola Aluko
and Thomas Hitzlsperger, and
commentary by Steve Bower
Speeders An inspector is on the
hunt for an escaped prisoner who is
believed to be a high risk to the
public, with a drone and dog handlers
helping in the search (1/10)
9.00 Police: Night Shift 999 An officer

following the stories of four strangers
whose lives entwine in a deadly way
— a prisoner, a journalist, and a vicar
and his son’s tutor. Starring David
Tennant. See Viewing Guide (1/4) (AD)
changing fortunes of the high-street
store through the testimonies of
Topshop insiders, and financial,
investigative and fashion journalists.
See Viewing Guide (1/2)
the truth, Joe now faces the challenge responds to reports of a break-in at a
of convincing those around him before garage and prepares for the possibility
it is too late, while DI Ruiz takes a that the suspect is still there, while
calculated risk. At the moment Joe police discover a trail of blood leading
thinks he is finally out of the woods, into a block of flats after receiving a
the stakes suddenly become life or call about a fight with a knife (4/6) (r)
death. See Viewing Guide (5/5) (AD)

10.00 BBC News at Ten 10.00 Stuck New series. Comedy written by 10.05 ITV News at Ten 10.00 Jimmy Carr’s Celebrity I Literally 10.00 Casualty 24/7: Every Second
10PM

10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.40 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You Richard Ayoade hosts an extended
episode with the rail union leader
Mick Lynch and the actress and
comedian Roisin Conaty (3/9) (r)
11PM
and starring Dylan Moran (1/5) (AD)
10.15 Stuck Dan struggles to focus
on finding work (2/5) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight With Kirsty Wark
11.15 The Finest Hours (12, 2016)
10.30 Regional News
10.50 John & Joe Bishop: Life After Deaf
The comedian and actor John Bishop
and his son Joe embark on a journey
to understand more about the
Just Told You New series. Jimmy
Carr hosts a football-themed celebrity
special of the game show with
contestants John Barnes, Gabby Logan,
Harry Redknapp and Sue Smith facing
questions written during the show
11.05 England International Football
Counts There are complications when
a woman who suffers from kidney
failure is admitted with a heart
condition, two builders are rushed into
casualty after a roof collapsed under
them, and doctors treat a 12-year-old
boy who has been attacked by a dog (r)
11.05 999: Critical Condition A man is

11.25 Ellie & Natasia The Brothers
Pomodoro return to show off
their new cookbook (5/6) (r)
11.40 Ellie & Natasia The Internet Nails
gang hand out special awards (6/6) (r)
11.55 Blankety Blank Bradley Walsh hosts
the return of the comedy quiz show, in
which a panel of six celebrities fill in
Late
Members of the Coast Guard fight to
save the crew of an oil tanker split in
two by a fierce storm. Fact-based
disaster movie starring Chris Pine,
Casey Affleck and Eric Bana. See
Viewing Guide
1.05am Sign Zone: Strictly Come Dancing Tess Daly
deaf community (r) (AD, SL)
11.50 All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite
Hard-hitting action from America
1.30am Teleshopping 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. David
England v Germany. Highlights of the
UEFA Nations League Group A3 fixture
at Wembley Stadium, as the famous
old rivals went head to head once again
12.10am Travel Man (r) (SL) 12.40 Kitchen
rushed to the Royal Stoke University
Hospital by helicopter after his
parachute fails and he is slammed into
the ground 100 feet below (4/12) (r)
12.05am Police Interceptors (r) 1.00 Live NFL

the missing blanks to help contestants
win an array of prizes (1/10) (r)
12.35am-6.00 BBC News
and Claudia Winkleman host the launch of the 20th
series. With guests John Legend and last year’s winners
Rose Ayling-Ellis and Giovanni Pernice (r) (AD, SL)
2.50-3.20 How To with John Wilson. The film-maker
explores people’s ability to remember things (r) (AD, SL)
Dickinson and the team visit Peterborough, where Fay
Rutter is impressed by a military chess set and a cockpit
control panel lands on James Layte’s table (r) (AD, SL)
3.50 Unwind with ITV 5.05-6.00 Tenable. A team
of five family members answer questions (r) (SL)
Nightmares USA (r) (SL) 1.25 24 Hours in A&E (r) 2.20
Sunday Brunch Best Bits (r) 2.25 Handmade: Britain’s
Best Woodworker (r) 3.15 Location, Location, Location (r)
(SL) 4.10 Amazing Spaces (r) (SL) 5.05 The Great Home
Transformation (r) 5.55-6.10 Fill Your House for Free (r)
Monday Night Football: New York Giants v Dallas
Cowboys (Kick-off 1.15). Coverage of the week 3 fixture
in the NFC East division 4.30 Entertainment News on 5
4.40 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL) 5.30 Peppa Pig (r) (AD, SL)
5.35 Paw Patrol (r) (SL) 5.50-6.00 Thomas (r) (SL)
the times | Monday September 26 2022 13

television & radio

be setting Joe up as Tonight Rhaenyra’s as the chinwagging
The Suspect revenge for signing
House of the stepmother, Queen
Britain’s Greatest with fellow guests —
Film The Finest
ITV, 9pm Dragon Obsessions Hours
documents that Alicent, now has the Harry Hill, Suggs,
Sky Atlantic/Now, 9pm Sky History/Now, 9pm BBC2, 11.15pm
It’s the final episode of destroyed his father’s upper hand, knowing Reginald D Hunter,
the daft but compelling life. But other suspects After the wedding the unhappy couple’s This gentle chat show Liza Tarbuck and The real-life tale of a
drama, and Aidan remain in the frame — mayhem of last week, a sexual secrets. The format has the wildlife Lorraine Kelly — the coastguard (Chris Pine)
Turner’s Joe Joe’s friend Jack, the change of tone for opening scene is classic expert and presenter presenter meets the pet in 1950s New England
O’Loughlin needs to mysterious plumber episode six, as Emma Westeros: a bloody Chris Packham in the psychic Jackie Weaver. who is sent to the aid
prove his innocence. who keeps hanging D’Arcy takes over from birth followed by arch chairman’s seat, Packham also visits of a stricken oil tanker.
Last week attention around, and also Joe Milly Alcock in the role postnatal comments. discussing his (and our) a rescue centre for Everyone says that
turned again to his himself. Is Joe’s of Princess Rhaenyra. “Do keep trying, Ser love of animals. He exotic pets and reptiles, it’s a suicide mission,
patient Bobby, who we relentless sleuthing the We are many years on Laenor,” Alicent says. examines why animals where he is reminded obviously. No prizes for
learnt had ingratiated delusion of a guilty from the Rhaenyra/ “Sooner or later you started becoming of his younger self by guessing the outcome
himself with Joe’s wider man as was suggested Laenor nuptials, which may get one that looks companions and which the centre’s but the voyage is
family and appeared to last week? ended in bloodshed. like you.” Ooh, catty. pets we prefer. As well enthusiastic owner. satisfying. (12, 2016)

Sky Max
6.00am Stargate SG-1 (r) 8.00 The Flash (r)
9.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (r) (AD) 10.00
Supergirl (r) 11.00 NCIS: New Orleans (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 2.00 MacGyver (r)
3.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (r) (AD) 4.00
The Flash (r) 5.00 Supergirl (r)
6.00 Stargate SG-1 (r)
7.00 Stargate SG-1. O’Neill and Maybourne
are marooned on a deserted moon (r)
8.00 Resident Alien. Harry travels to New York
looking for one of his people (r) (AD)
9.00 COBRA: Cyberwar. The team tries to
understand the latest discovery (4/6) (r) (AD)
10.00 Brassic. A camping trip turns into a
nightmare when the gang ends up lost (r) (AD)
11.00 A League of Their Own. Patrice Evra,
Jimmy Carr, Richard Ayoade and Angela Scanlon
join the host Romesh Ranganathan (r)
12.00 The Russell Howard Hour. Topical comedy
show (r) 12.45am Caught on Dashcam (r) 1.40
Road Wars (r) 3.05 Hawaii Five-0 (r) 4.00
MacGyver (r) 5.00 Highway Patrol (r)
Sky Atlantic
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 7.45 Boardwalk
Empire (r) (AD) 10.00 The Sopranos (r)
12.05pm Ray Donovan (r) (AD) 2.10 Game of
Thrones (r) (AD) 3.15 Boardwalk Empire (r)
(AD) 5.30 The Sopranos (r)
6.35 The Sopranos. Carmela throws Tony out (r)
7.55 Game of Thrones. Roose Bolton decides
what to do with Jaime, while Jon, Ygritte and
the wildlings face a daunting climb (r) (AD)
9.00 House of the Dragon. Game of Thrones
prequel following the story of House Targaryen,
set 200 years before the events of the
fantasy saga. Paddy Considine and Matt
Smith star. See Viewing Guide (r)
10.10 Gangs of London. Marian puts the
pressure on Sean to uncover Finn’s killer (r) (AD)
11.15 House of the Dragon. Game of Thrones
prequel following the story of House Targaryen,
set 200 years before the events of the fantasy
saga. Paddy Considine and Matt Smith star (r)
12.25am The Nevers (r) (AD) 1.40 Irma Vep (r)
2.50 The Affair (r) (AD) 4.00 Urban Secrets (r)
Sky Documentaries Sky Arts
6.00am Fish Town (r) 7.00 Discovering:
Anthony Hopkins (r) 8.00 The Directors (r) (AD)
8.55 One Shot: The Football Factory (r) (AD)
9.55 Veleno: The Town of Lost Children (r)
10.55 100 Foot Wave (r) (AD) 12.00 FILM:
I Am Alfred Hitchcock (15, 2021) (AD)
1.40pm My Icon: Rachel Yankey (r) (AD) 2.00
FILM: The Fog of War (PG, 2003)
Documentary 4.00 The Directors (r) (AD) 5.00
Discovering: Anthony Hopkins (r) 5.55 One
Shot: The Football Factory (r) (AD)
6.55 Veleno: The Town of Lost Children (r)
7.55 100 Foot Wave (1/6) (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: Man on Wire (12, 2008)
Documentary about a tightrope walk
between the World Trade Center towers
11.00 FILM: GoldenEra (12, 2022)
1.00am FILM: Whitey — United States of
America v James J Bulger (15, 2014) The
life of infamous criminal James “Whitey” Bulger
2.45 FILM: Friedkin Uncut (15, 2018)
Documentary 4.55 100 Foot Wave (r) (AD)
6.00am Pavarotti: A Voice for the Ages 7.15 La
Dolce Vita: The Music of Italian Cinema 9.00
Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 10.00 Alfred
Hitchcock Presents 11.00 Discovering: Rex
Harrison (AD) 12.00 Mystery of the Lost
Paintings (AD) 1.00pm Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) 2.00 The Eighties (AD) 3.00 Portrait
Artist of the Year 2017 4.00 Discovering: Yul
Brynner (AD) 5.00 Tales of the Unexpected (AD)
6.00 Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Double bill
7.00 Inside Art Special: Alberta Whittle at
Venice Biennale. A showcase of the artist’s work
7.30 Inside Art: Picasso/Ingres at the National
Gallery. A look at two portraits side by side
8.00 André Rieu: Welcome to My World
9.00 Classic FM’s Rising Stars
10.00 Mystery of the Lost Paintings (AD)
11.00 The Other Art Show. New series
11.30 Comedy Legends 12.30am The South
Bank Show 2.00 Chasing Lights 3.10
Matisse 4.10 Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks
5.10 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD)
Sky Main Event
6.00am Sky Sports News. Round-up of the
sports news, with live analysis and comment,
plus extended interviews 7.00 Good Morning
Sports Fans. News and views on today’s early
stories, a look at the back pages, a tip on today’s
racing and a sporting weather forecast 10.00
Live County Championship Cricket: Lancashire v
Surrey. Coverage of day one at Old Trafford
6.30pm Sky Sports News. Round-up of
the sports news, with live analysis and
comment, plus extended interviews
with the headline-makers
1.00am Live NFL: New York Giants v Dallas
Cowboys (Kick-off 1.15). Coverage of the week
three match at MetLife Stadium. The home side
won their first game of the season in a thrilling
comeback victory on the opening day of the
season. The Giants came back from 13-0
down at half-time to beat the Tennessee Titans
21-20 in Nashville. The Cowboys did not fare so
well, losing 19-3 against the Tampa Bay
Buccaneers 4.30 Sky Sports News
Variations
BBC1 N Ireland
As BBC1 except: 8.00pm-9.00 Mountain Vets.
Documentary (r) 10.40 Panorama: Channel
Crisis — Can People Smugglers Be Stopped?
11.10 The Hotel People 12.10am Our Lives (r)
(AD) 12.40 Ellie & Natasia (r) 1.00 Ellie &
Natasia (r) 1.15-6.00 BBC News
BBC1 Scotland
As BBC1 except: 8.00pm-9.00 Inside Central
Station 10.40 Panorama: Channel Crisis — Can
People Smugglers Be Stopped? 11.10 Have
I Got a Bit More News for You (r) 11.55
Sportscene 12.40am Weather for the
Week Ahead 12.45-6.00 BBC News
BBC1 Wales
As BBC1 except: 8.00pm X-Ray 8.30-9.00
Ruck Stars 10.40 Panorama: Channel Crisis
— Can People Smugglers Be Stopped? 11.10-
11.55 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (r)
BBC2 N Ireland
As BBC2 except: 10.00pm-10.30 Peataí! (r)

ITV Wales
As ITV except: 10.50pm Sharp End: The Night
Wales Changed 11.20-11.50 Gino’s Italy:
Like Mamma Used to Make (r) (AD)

STV
As ITV except: 10.40pm STV News
10.45 Scotland Tonight 11.15 Junk and
Disorderly (r) 12.15-3.00am Teleshopping
3.50-5.05 Unwind with STV

UTV
As ITV except: 10.50pm-11.50 View from
Stormont. Political developments

TalkTV
6.00am James Max. An initial insight into the
day’s top stories 6.30 The Julia Hartley-Brewer
Breakfast Show. The stories you need to know to
start your day 10.00 The Independent Republic
of Mike Graham. A look at the morning
newspapers 1.00pm Ian Collins. Hard-hitting
monologues, stimulating debates and dedicated
time for your calls 4.00 Vanessa Feltz. The host
guides you through the big stories of the day
7.00 The News Desk with Tom Newton Dunn.
The programme tackles the big stories of the day
with a packed hour of news, expert analysis,
debate and exclusives from across the UK
8.00 Piers Morgan Uncensored. Piers presents
his verdict on the day’s global events with an
hour of debate, straight-talking interviews with
the world’s leading figures, and plenty of fun
9.00 The Talk. Join a panel of opinionated
famous faces to debate hot topics
10.00 Daisy McAndrew. The host is joined by
guests to discuss the day’s big stories and look
forward to the following day’s newspapers
11.00 Piers Morgan Uncensored
12.00 Petrie Hosken 4.00am The Talk
5.00 James Max. Early breakfast show
ITV2
6.00am World’s Funniest Videos 7.00 Dress to
Impress (SL) 8.00 Secret Crush 9.00 Veronica
Mars 10.00 One Tree Hill 11.00 Hart of Dixie
12.00 Supermarket Sweep 1.00pm Family
Fortunes 2.00 The Masked Singer US 3.05
Veronica Mars 4.00 One Tree Hill 5.00
Hart of Dixie. Election day arrives
6.00 Celebrity Catchphrase (AD)
7.00 Secret Crush. Geoffrey thinks getting
back with Rita is a good move
8.00 Bob’s Burgers (AD)
8.30 Bob’s Burgers. Teddy persuades
Bob to enter the float contest (AD)
9.00 Bad Chefs. Cookery show hosted by Chunkz
10.00 Family Guy. Peter’s new boss bans office
birthdays, his favourite part of work (AD)
10.30 American Dad! The Smiths open their
own cemetery in their backyard (AD)
11.00 Family Guy (AD)
11.30 Family Guy (AD)
11.55 American Dad! (AD)
12.25am The Sex Lives of College Girls 1.30
Bob’s Burgers (AD) 2.30 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records 5.30 Teleshopping
BBC4
7.00pm Great American Railroad Journeys.
Michael Portillo boards one of the world’s most
famous trains, the Rocky Mountaineer, to cross
the backbone of the North American continent
from Kamloops to the spa resort of Banff
8.00 Art of Persia. Samira Ahmed goes back to
when Persia faced Genghis Khan and reveals
how the Safavids, who succeeded the Mongols,
give Iran a powerful new identity (3/3)
9.00 Lost Home Movies of Nazi Germany.
Documentary delving into private film
collections from the Nazi era to reveal how
ordinary Germans lived during peacetime and
the experiences of frontline soldiers (1/2)
10.00 Treasures of the Anglo-Saxons. Dr Janina
Ramirez investigates the development of Anglo-
Saxon art and examines the Sutton Hoo
treasures and the Lindisfarne Gospels
11.00 Armada — 12 Days to Save England.
Documentary about the sinking
of the Spanish Armada (1/3)
12.00 Calculating Ada: The Countess of
Computing. Telling the story of Ada Lovelace
1.00am Berlin 1945 1.55 Great American
Railroad Journeys 2.55-3.55 Art of Persia (SL)
ITV3
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (AD) 7.00
Classic Emmerdale 8.05 That’s My Boy 9.15
Upstairs, Downstairs 11.30 Heartbeat (AD)
1.40pm Classic Emmerdale 2.40 Classic
Coronation Street (AD) 3.50 Agatha Christie’s
Poirot . A rich industrialist is murdered (AD)
6.00 Heartbeat. A recently widowed woman
hopes to bury her husband in the family grave,
but the deceased’s brother refuses to
co-operate because of an old feud (AD)
7.00 Heartbeat. Bellamy encounters a key
informant who might come in useful (AD)
8.00 Endeavour. The detective investigates
the deaths of an astrophysicist and his
girlfriend in a tragic car accident (2/4) (AD)
10.00 Wycliffe. A ritual killing in a village
church points to the work of a satanic cult (5/6)
11.10 Maigret. Crime series starring Michael
Gambon and Geoffrey Hutchings. A stripper is
murdered after overhearing a conversation
about a plot to kill a countess (1/6) (AD)
12.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot. Japp and
Poirot investigate the murder of an actress’s
estranged husband (AD) 2.30 Teleshopping
Talking Pictures
6.00am Get Some In! 6.30 FILM: Danny Boy
(U, 1941) Drama starring David Farrar (b/w)
8.05 FILM: Blood of the Vampire (PG,
1958) Horror starring Donald Wolfit 9.50
FILM: Men in War (PG, 1957) Korean War
drama starring Robert Ryan and Aldo Ray (b/w)
11.55 Down to Sussex in 1964 12.15pm FILM:
The Man in the Sky (U, 1957) Drama
starring Jack Hawkins (b/w) 2.00 Rooms 3.00
FILM: Summertime (U, 1955) Romantic
drama with Katharine Hepburn and Rossano
Brazzi 4.55 Automatic Fare Collection and
You in 1969 5.00 The Footage Detectives
6.00 FILM: Forbidden Cargo (PG, 1954)
Drama starring Nigel Patrick (b/w)
7.45 Look at Life. Britain’s only salt mine
8.00 Gideon’s Way. Jean Marsh guests (b/w)
9.00 FILM: Next To No Time (PG, 1958)
Comedy starring Kenneth More
11.00 Secret Army. Funds arrive from England
12.05am FILM: The Boston Strangler (18,
1968) Fact-based drama starring Tony Curtis
2.25 FILM: Villa Rides! (15, 1968) Action
adventure with Yul Brynner and Robert Mitchum
4.50 The Edgar Wallace Mystery Theatre
ITV4
6.00am River Monsters 6.30 The Adventures of
Sherlock Holmes (AD) 7.35 The Saint 8.35
Magnum, PI (AD) 9.35 The Sweeney 10.40
Minder (AD) 11.45 Made in Britain (AD)
12.45pm Live British Open Snooker. Jill Douglas
presents coverage of day one of the event 5.30
World of Sport 5.45 Gallagher Premiership
Rugby Union Highlights. Action from round 3
6.45 Live British Open Snooker. Jill Douglas
presents further coverage of day one of the
tournament at the Marshall Arena in Milton
Keynes, featuring first-round action
10.30 MotoGP Highlights. Action from the
Motul Grand Prix of Japan, as the riders battled
for points at the Mobility Resort Motegi
11.35 Motorsport UK. Richard John Neil
presents action from Knockhill with
racing from the Porsche Carrera Cup GB
and the British F4 Championship
12.30am Minder. A sudden staffing crisis
leaves Arthur with no choice but to employ his
nephew Ray to help him sell cars (AD) 1.35 The
Sweeney. A missing villain turns up dead (SL)
2.40 Unwind with ITV 3.00 Teleshopping
Film4
11.00am Hatari! (U, 1962) Comedy adventure
starring John Wayne 2.10pm Destroyer (U,
1943) Wartime adventure starring Edward G
Robinson (b/w) 4.15 Ten Tall Men (U, 1951)
Foreign Legion comedy adventure starring Burt
Lancaster, Jody Lawrence and Kieron Moore
6.10 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
(12, 2009) The shape-changing robots fight for
control of a machine hidden somewhere on Earth
with the power to destroy planets. Sci-fi
adventure sequel starring Shia LaBeouf (AD)
9.00 Snatch (18, 2000) A boxing promoter
and his sidekick are drawn into a match-fixing
racket and a robbery gone wrong. Comedy drama
starring Jason Statham and Brad Pitt
11.05 Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (18,
2019) A faded television actor and his stunt
double strive to hang on to their careers during
the final years of Hollywood’s Golden Age.
Drama starring Leonardo DiCaprio (AD)
2.20am-4.00 Fire Will Come (12, 2019)
A man returns home after being released from
prison, trying to adapt to farm life and cope with
the villagers’ memories of his past. Crime drama
starring Amador Arias and Benedicta Sánchez
Drama
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 ’Allo ’Allo! 7.50 All
Creatures Great and Small 8.40 The Bill 9.40
Classic Holby City 11.00 Casualty (AD) 12.00
The Bill 1.00pm Classic EastEnders 2.20
Monarch of the Glen 3.20 A Place to Call Home
4.20 All Creatures Great and Small 5.20
Waiting for God. Diana barracks a councillor
6.00 Are You Being Served?
6.40 ’Allo ’Allo! Gruber is interrogated
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Smiler
decides to become a lollipop man
8.00 The Brokenwood Mysteries. New series.
Chaos ensues when a museum’s Eygptian
mummy case turns out to contain the body of
a very recently deceased woman (1/6) (AD)
10.05 New Tricks. Ted leads an investigation
into the apparent suicide of a city trader, while
Steve tries to learn some tricks of the trade,
amid his own financial crisis (4/10) (AD)
11.25 Spooks. An operation to assassinate a
suspected terrorist in Tehran goes
catastrophically wrong (1/10)
12.40am Bad Girls 1.50 The Heart Guy 2.50
A Place to Call Home 4.00 Teleshopping
More4
8.55am Kirstie’s House of Craft 9.15 A Place in
the Sun 11.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It 1.10pm
Heir Hunters 2.10 Four in a Bed 4.50
Find It, Fix It, Flog It 5.55 Car SOS
6.55 Escape to the Château: Make Do and Mend.
Angel helps to transform a woman’s 1970s
bathroom into a relaxing sanctuary (AD)
7.55 Great Canal Journeys. Timothy West and
Prunella Scales continue their journey and reach
the Rochdale Canal — an important waterway at
the height of the Industrial Revolution (AD)
9.00 Devon and Cornwall. A wheelwright and his
team restore a Victorian bicycle (2/4) (AD)
10.00 Jobs from Hell: Caught on Camera.
Documentary presenting real-life footage of
challenging situations in the workplace,
featuring contributions from the employees
featured and analysis from psychologists (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. A cyclist is sent for a CT
scan after falling from her bike, and a woman
arrives suffering from blood loss (4/8) (AD)
12.05am Shocking Emergency Calls (AD) 1.10
8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Panel game
show 2.15 Jobs from Hell: Caught on Camera
(AD) 3.20-3.45 Food Unwrapped (AD)
Yesterday
6.00am Great Continental Railway Journeys
8.00 Top Gear (AD) 9.00 The World at War
10.00 War Factories 11.00 Abandoned
Engineering (AD) 12.00 The Architecture the
Railways Built (AD) 1.00pm Bangers and Cash
2.00 Abandoned Engineering (AD) 4.00 War
Factories 5.00 The World at War
6.00 Top Gear. Richard Hammond drives the
Porsche 918 Spyder in Abu Dhabi (AD)
7.00 Abandoned Engineering. Exploring
a luxury resort in Argentina (7/12) (AD)
8.00 Abandoned Engineering. Exploring
the remains of a sky-high solution to a
ground-based problem in Georgia (4/12) (AD)
9.00 The Buildings That Fought Hitler. How
numerous pill boxes, gun emplacements
and dragon’s teeth were all tactically
positioned to slow the Germans (3/8) (AD)
10.00 Bangers and Cash. Dave gets a nasty
surprise when he opens the bonnet of
a fast Ford from the 80s (8/10)
11.00 Abandoned Engineering (8/12) (AD)
12.00 Top Gear (AD) 1.00am Great Continental
Railway Journeys 3.00 Teleshopping
BBC Scotland
2.00pm Sign Zone: Getting Hitched Asian Style
(r) 3.00-3.30 Sign Zone: Beechgrove (r) 7.00
Sportscene: SWPL Highlights 7.45 Rewind
1980s. Last in the series 8.00 Beechgrove.
Advice on what to do with used tomato
grow-bags (r) 8.30 Roaming in the Wild (r)
(AD) 9.00 The Nine 10.00 River City (AD)
10.30 Two Doors Down (r) (AD) 11.00 Scot
Squad (r) (AD) 11.30-12.00 Loop (r)
BBC Alba
6.00am Alba Today 5.00pm Treubh an
Tuathanais (Big Barn Farm) 5.15 Su Pic (Peek
Zoo) (r) 5.25 ’S E Iasg a Th’Annam (I’m a Fish)
(r) 5.30 AH-AH/No-No 5.35 Pip & Posy 5.45
Piseag & Cuilean/Kit & Pup (r) 5.50 Stòiridh (r)
6.00 Na Moomins/Moomin Valley (r) 6.20 Port
Pàipeir (r) 6.35 Saidheans Sporsail (Backyard
Science) (r) 7.00 Dealbhan Fraoich (Heather’s
Portraits) (r) 7.30 SpeakGaelic (r) 8.00 An Là
(News) 8.30 Gàrradh Phàdruig (r) 9.00
Trusadh — Clann-nighean nan Taighean-òsda
(Highland Hotel Ladies) (r) 10.00 Bannan (The
Ties That Bind) (r) 10.30 Gandhi (r) 11.15
Dealbh is Slighe (r) 11.25 Under Canvas
2021/22 (r) 12.00-6.00 Alba Today
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Blociau Rhif (r) 6.05 Do Re Mi
Dona (r) 6.20 Sam Tân (r) 6.30 Sbarc (r) 6.45
Anifeiliaid Bach y Byd (r) 6.55 Cywion Bach
7.00 Sigldigwt (r) 7.15 Odo (r) 7.25 Octonots
(r) 7.40 Awyr Iach (r) 8.00 Ty Mêl (r) 8.10
Halibalw (r) 8.20 Rapsgaliwn (r) 8.35 Sion y
Chef (r) 8.45 Yr Ysgol (r) 9.00 Y Crads Bach (r)
9.05 Stiw (r) 9.20 Bach a Mawr (r) 9.30 Patrôl
Pawennau (r) 9.45 Gwdihw (r) 10.00 Blociau
Rhif (r) 10.05 Do Re Mi Dona (r) 10.20 Sam
Tân (r) 10.30 Sbarc (r) 10.45 Anifeiliaid Bach
y Byd (r) 10.55 Cywion Bach (r) 11.00
Sigldigwt (r) 11.15 Odo (r) 11.25 Octonots (r)
11.40 Awyr Iach (r) 12.00 News; Weather
12.05pm Dim Byd i’w Wisgo (r) (AD) 12.30
Heno (r) 1.00 Adre (r) 1.30 Sain Ffagan (r)
2.00 News; Weather 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
News; Weather 3.05 Y Babell Lên a Mwy (r)
4.00 Awr Fawr: Blociau Rhif (r) 4.05 Odo (r)
4.15 Gwdihw (r) 4.30 Sion y Chef (r) 4.45
Awyr Iach (r) 5.00 Stwnsh: Dennis a Dannedd
(r) 5.10 Bwystfil (r) 5.20 Angelo am Byth (r)
5.30 Kung Fu Panda (r) 5.55 Ffeil 6.00 Codi
Hwyl (r) 6.30 Rownd a Rownd (r) (AD) 6.57
News 7.00 Heno 7.30 News; Weather 8.00
Sgwrs Dan y Lloer 8.25 Garddio a Mwy 8.55
News; Weather 9.00 Pawb a’i Farn. Discussion
10.00 Sgorio 10.30 Caeau Cymru (r)
11.00-11.35 Gwyliau Gartref (r) (AD)
14 Monday September 26 2022 | the times

MindGames
General Knowledge Crossword No 148 Codeword No 4703 Train Tracks No 1743

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

© PUZZLER MEDIA
9 10

11

12

13 14 15

16

17 18 19 20

21

22 23

24

25 26

Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to village

27 28 B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail go in each
row and column. There are only straight rails and curved rails.
The track cannot cross itself.
Across 26 Capital city of Mongolia (4,5)
1 Tropical plant whose starchy 27 Gland involved in regulating
root is used to make tapioca (7) growth and the metabolism (7) Mini Sudoku
5 Biblical prophetess who roused 28 Regular goalkeeper for
opposition to Canaan (7) Liverpool FC and Brazil (7)
Fill the grid so
9 John ---, US actor who played that every
Poirot in a 2018 BBC series (9) Down column, every
10 Bone of the ear, also 1 Lakeside city near the Italian row and every
known as the incus (5) border with Switzerland (4) Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number from 1
3x2 box contains
11 Radio play set in the fictional 2 US city at the confluence the digits 1 to 6
to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use the letters
village of Llareggub (5,4,4) of the Mississippi and already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter letters in the main
13 Bugle call sounded at 8pm Missouri rivers (2,5) grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the alphabet have been
accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded. Saturday’s solution, right
every day in Ypres (4,4) 3 Girls ---, singers of the pop hits
15 Ground maize mixed with Biology and The Promise (5)
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 293 6262 or
milk or water to make the 4 Person who keeps bees (8) text TIMECODE to 64343. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company’s network
US porridge dish grits (6) 5 Showy garden plant access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution
17 Month in which the Edinburgh grown from tubers (6) call 0905 757 0142. Calls cost £1 per minute plus your telephone company’s network
festival takes place (6) 6 Victorian author of the rural access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
19 Boy depicted in statue form romance Lorna Doone (9)
in Kensington Gardens (5,3) 7 Small pocketed pasta squares Lexica No 6541 No 6542
22 Years & Years vocalist and star with a savoury filling (7)
of the TV drama It’s a Sin (4,9) 8 Film for which White
B A A C E H O P A R A Winning Move
25 Deciduous tree typically Christmas was written (7,3)
with whitish papery bark (5) 12 1970s Soviet gymnast who B N D
Last week’s solution won four Olympic golds (4,6) W________WWhite to play.
C U P I D B O D Y G U A R D
14 Nut often used to flavour I T I áWDWDbDWD]This position is from
O E U A I A G U the Indian dessert kulfi (9) Zhugin-Alpin, Olginka
L A N C A S T E R L I G H T 16 Kiri ---, operatic soprano born V N G U àDW1pDWip]2022.
D
C
N L
H E S I L
H
E
T E R C
Y E T E E T H
in New Zealand in 1944 (2,6) ßrDWDp0ph]Black is a pawn ahead
18 Satirical caricaturist of I T E G
O P B H T G E
Georgian life and politics (7)
Þ0WDWDWDW]and has set up a
M
F
E S S A L I N
U G
A
R
E M A I L
T M 20 Fool’s gold (7) E N P T ÝWDPDW)W!]defensive wall in front
of the king with the
O F G E M B E R Y L R E I D 21 Noun formed from a verb, ÜGPDWDBDW]pawns on e6, f6 and
R A O R Y E I such as “swimming” (6) T E I S g6. This appears quite
T U R A N D O T T O B I A S
23 Emirate in which the world’s ÛPDWDWDPD]solid but White has a
F C K T G P L E R E W H Y T M M O A T
A G A T E H A R M O N I C A tallest building stands (5) ÚDWDRDWIW]clever way to crash
through. How did he
R N E E A L A S 24 Country formerly known Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a WÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈWcontinue?
M A E L S T R O M D R D R E as Persia (4) completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters

KenKen Easy No 5695 Futoshiki No 4311 Kakuro No 3270

Fill the grid

using the
21 4 19 30 28 23 numbers 1 to 9
3 17 16 only. The
numbers in each
11 4 7 horizontal or
23 23 vertical run of
24 white squares
add up to the
4 38 total in the
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM

3 triangle to its left

4 25 or above it. The
same number
4 10 26 4 may occur more
11 3 3 than once in a
row or column,
17 3 but not within
9 4 11 the same run of
20 19 white squares.
13 4
12 6 16 14
34 17
17
7 39
© PUZZLER MEDIA

All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top left-hand each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between 4 16 14
corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the block, the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or smaller
using the operation indicated by the symbol. (<) than the number next to it.
the times | Monday September 26 2022 15

MindGames
times2
T2 Crossword No 9019
CROSSWORD No 9019 Brain Trainer Cell Blocks No 4586
Just follow the instructions from left to right, starting with the number given to reach an answer at the end.
Divide the grid

© PUZZLER MEDIA
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
into square or
EASY 31 x 2 – 12 60%
OF IT
+9 x2 +8 1/
2
OF IT
+9 + 1/2
OF IT
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
8 9 digit only. Every
block must
MEDIUM 73 x 3 + 39 + 1/2
OF IT
+ 63 40%
OF IT
+ 88 x 2 75%
OF IT
+ 77 contain the
number of cells
10 11 indicated by the
digit inside it.
12
HARDER 284 + 194 + 1/2
OF IT
x 3 + 775 + 1/2
OF IT
x 2 – 642 7/
8
OF IT
– 975
13 14 15 16 17

18 19 20 21
Polygon Set Square No 3273
From these letters, make words of Enter each of
22 three or more letters, always including the numbers
the central letter. Answers must be in from 1 to 9 in
23 24 the Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding the grid, so that
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated the six sums
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending work. We’ve
in LY, comparatives and superlatives. placed two
25 26 How you rate 14 words, average; numbers to get
19, good; 23, very good; 28, excellent you started.

© PUZZLER MEDIA
Saturday’s answers Each sum
Across 20 Sacred song (5) should be
eruv, over, overt, overtip, perv, pervious, calculated left
1 Thin branch; realise (4) 23 Bring bad luck to (4) pivot, previous, privet, prove, purposive,
4 Prophetic (8) 24 Source of continual to right or top
rive, rivet, rove, servo, soviet, spiv, to bottom.
8 Unit of mass (8) annoyance (8) sportive, stiver, stove, strive, supportive,
9 Feel great anger (4) 25 Panicked rush (8) trove, verist, verso, verst, vert, vertu, vest,
10 Go for and bring back (5) veto, viper, viperous, vireo, virtu, virtue,
26 Area for skating (4) virus, vise, visor, vitreous, vote, voter Please note, BODMAS does not apply
11 Pig's foot (7)
13 Positive aspect (6)
15 Sumptuously rich (6)
Down
2 Complain petulantly (5)
Killer Gentle No 8512 Solutions
18 Distilling apparatus (7) 3 Italian dumplings (7)
Solution to Crossword 9018 4 Ladies' fingers (4) Quick Cryptic 2229 Codeword 4702 Kakuro 3269
MA L E F I CEN T 5 Naval officers (8) CUR E D F OUND E R 5 8 2 6 3 4
O O E A P E I 3 9 2 1 3 1 2
P I O E A A 6 Not suitable (5) S HO T P U T S I R E N 2 1 9 6 8 7 3 1
L E X I CON TW I CE 7 Without purpose (7) T T O I I G
1 3 7 4 9 5 8 1 2
A E A N S R X 10 Common ailment (3) DR AMA T I S T S
7 9 8 1 9
I NDU L GE C L O T H S D T A R I I
12 Drug for treatment (8) T O I L E D C A NOE D 8 6 2 6 5
N L A B A O P E C V N E 8 9 7 5 1 3 6 9 4
C HOOS E I NS I T U 14 Fortune-teller (7) M I L E S T ON E S 9 7 3 2 1 4 8 3
H U T U S 16 Caller (7) A O T R S S 1 3 4 2 9 3 1
A L T AR P ARA P E T C AMP S T OS S PO T
17 Unsubtle actor (3) H A O A A I U
2 1 6 8 1 2
N L O S A A I 19 Pithy saying (5) S E T T L E R L E T ON Train Tracks 1742
T H I NK H ADR I AN
21 Cloth from flax (5)
E E O I R G Chess — Winning Move Suko 3604 Square Routes
GRADA T I ONS 22 Strongly encourage (4) 184
1 Qxh6+! Kxh6 2 Bf8 mate
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0905 757 0143 to check the S T E R C
answers. Calls cost £1 per minute plus your telephone company’s E X O X I
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm). B A T A E
L O N L S
Brain Trainer E H U A G
Bridge Andrew Robson Easy 78; Medium 479; Harder 6,144

Cell Blocks 4585 Set Square 3272 KenKen 5694 Word watch
I enjoyed this 4♠ from the World Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Both
Open Pairs Championships semi- Cynocephalus (c) A dog-
Pairs ♠ A K J 10 9 headed man (Chambers)
final. Most declarers made it. Afterclap (a) An
West led out ace-king of dia- ♥ AQ 10
monds, declarer ruffing, drawing
♦9 3
♣9 5 2
Killer Tricky No 8513
unexpected repercussion
of a matter thought closed
trumps and running the jack of (Collins)
♠4 N ♠ 73 Warth (a) A stretch of
hearts. East won the king and ♥8 7 6 5 3 W E ♥K 4 coastline (OED)
returned a passive heart (no need ♦A K J 4 2 S ♦Q 10 7 6 5
to break open clubs). Declarer won ♣K 3 ♠ Q 8 6 5 2 ♣Q 10 8 7
dummy’s ace-queen and both red ♥J 9 2 Futoshiki 4310 Tredoku 1752 Sudoku 13,512
suits were eliminated. Declarer ♦8
now led a club from dummy and ♣A J 6 4
East played low.
S W N E
Declarer reasoned that East may
have split his honours from king- 2♠ (1) Pass(2) 4♠ End
queen. In any event, he saw a bet- (1) Frisky Lucas Two, showing five spades
ter chance of avoiding two club and a four/five-card minor.
tricks. He rose with the ace and (2) Conservative. Many would make a take-
exited with a low club. West won out double.
the king but was now endplayed to Contract: 4♠ , Opening Lead: ♦A Quintagram
give a ruff-and-discard, enabling
1 Dust Killer 8511
declarer to discard dummy’s under dummy’s ace to restrict the 2 Shine
remaining club as he ruffed in club losers to one. I can report 3 Billing
hand. Ten tricks and game made. declarer did fall for the ploy and 4 Quality
Note, it would have done West no played the jack. West won the 5 Stargazer
good to jettison the king under king, exited with his second club,
declarer’s ace, for declarer would and East had to come to a third- Lexica 6539
have crossed to dummy in spades round club trick. One down and
T R A P
to lead a club towards his jack. 96 per cent of the matchpoints.
Let’s now assume the role of At most tables, it was North R I M X

East. Declarer has ruffed the sec-
ond diamond, drawn trumps and
passed the jack of hearts to your
king, and you have exited with a
second heart. So far so good.
Declarer wins dummy’s hearts and
leads a low club from dummy.
Are you ready? This is your big
moment. You must insert the ten
(key play). Now put yourself in
declarer’s shoes. Doesn’t it look
like East has ♣K10 or ♣Q10 dou-
bleton, in which case declarer can
play the jack? West will win his
picture but East’s picture will fall
who declared 4♠ (after Pass-(1♥ )-
1♠ -(Dbl)-4♠ or similar). Would
East have found the ten of clubs
with ♣AJxx in dummy (after
declarer, North, leads low)? He
should.
You’ll note East-West have a
one-down sacrifice in 5♦. This
contract (doubled) earned them 55
per cent. Conceding 4♠ earned
them 37 per cent (roughly the
average score of our two morning
sessions in the final — but that’s
another story).
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
O L E G
U I
G R U D G E
H Quiz
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every column,
every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set Lexica 6540
1 Troy 2 Italian 3 Danger 4 The Grinch 5 Haribo
6 Bedfordshire 7 1991 8 Terms of Endearment 9 Pig
of cells joined by dotted lines must add up to the target number
in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells joined by dotted J A B 10 Diana King 11 British Columbia 12 The Ascent of F6
lines, a digit cannot be repeated. M O O A
13 Saints Row 14 Manchester 15 Ada Lovelace
A B E T
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 293
I N N T
6263 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
G E
puzzles. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm). C O O K E R

Word watch
David Parfitt
Cynocephalus
a A genus of octopus
b A variable star
c A dog-headed man
Afterclap
a An unexpected
repercussion
b Applause following
an encore
c To drive (livestock) by
shooing from behind
Warth
a A stretch of coastline
b A wild pig
c Anger, fury
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz
1 According to some
ancient sources,
Cassandra predicted
which city’s destruction
when her brother Paris
was born?
2 The name of the sheep’s
milk cheese, Paglierino,
means “straw” in which
language?
3 In railway
terminology, a Spad is a
signal passed at … what?
4 Which Dr Seuss title
character lives in a cave
atop Mount Crumpit?
5 Which German
company produces the
sweets brand Maoam?
6 The towns of Leighton
Buzzard, Houghton Regis,
Biggleswade and Flitwick
are in which county?
The Times Quick Cryptic
1 2
8 9
11
13 14
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26.09.22
For extra
puzzles
See page 10
Sudoku Easy No 13,513 Difficult No 13,514 Fiendish No 13,515
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9.
Olav Bjortomt Suko No 3604
ALAMY
11 The fur trader
James Douglas (1803-77)
is known as “the
Father of …” which
Canadian province?
12 Which 1937 play
by WH Auden and
Christopher Isherwood
centres on the climber
Michael Ransom?
13 Loosely based on
Las Vegas, the city
of Santo Ileso is the
setting for which
15 2022 third-person
shooter game?
7 The Yugoslav Wars 9 Which 1994 debut
began in which year of novel by Andrew 14 Which English city
the 1990s? Cowan is named after a is home to the National
farm animal? Cycling Centre? Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the spaces so
8 Which 1983 James L that the number in each circle is equal to
Brooks film centres 10 Featured on the Bad 15 Which 19th-century the sum of the four surrounding spaces,
on the relationship Boys soundtrack, Shy mathematician is and each colour total is correct
between Aurora Guy (1995) was a UK pictured?
Greenway and her No 2 hit for which For interactive puzzles visit
daughter Emma? Jamaican singer? Answers on page 15 thetimes.co.uk
No 2230 by Orpheus
3 4 5 6 7 Across 2 Racecourse some keep so
1 Beg audibly for quarry (4) meticulously (5)
3 Little girl keeping a sort of 4 Up-to-date info from US city
porcelain bird (8) trial (6)
10 8 Visible perspicacity (7) 5 Successfully learn short
10 Greek character American musical work, an outstanding
soldiers backed (5) creation (11)
11 Bringing back memories about 6 Strange thing that is worn in
slight smell? (11) retirement? (7)
7 Female, heading off for
13 Sailors observed going about
in the morning (6) Arabian sultanate (4)
12 15 Fortified building with 9 Sandy needs money to make
increased running costs (6) flavoured cake (11)
15 17 Reformed rabble came east, 12 Part of book removed from a
suitable for hugging (11) theatregoer, perhaps? (8)
16 20 Grumble when husband gets 14 A married woman’s vast place
in hock, perhaps (5) across the pond (7)
18 21 N Atlantic island, one 16 Fabric produced by girl briefly
originally colonised by large engaged by company (6)
antelope (7) 18 Cry out, securing end of major
22 £1,000 initially spent on young punch-up (5)
relative (8) 19 Cotton on small shoot (4)
21
23 Fine loose fibre (4)
Down
1 Top nun’s urge to tour
23
Brazilian port (8)
Friday’s solution on page 15