We've been traveling all around

the country
it's been so much fun you know
out in places like P.E
and Cape Town and East London
recently went to Durban
which was a bit of a shlep for us
it was really hard because
it was raining so much
and then on top of the flight
delays that you have to contest
with
there's also like overbooking,
which is a problem
I don’t know if you know what
over booking is
but basically it's a legal process
where it's a practice rather
where airlines book more tickets
than there are seats on the plane
so they book more,
sort of like a Taxi
but then they don’t let you
 get on when you get there
so they just hope you don’t pitch
up like please, please, please,
please agh, his here.
you know, that's what they do
and so we are flying down to
Durban,
and it was the funniest thing ever
we are standing in the queue,
everyone is all fidgety in the line
looking at their watches,
and they call us forward
hey are like next, next please, next!
so we go to the counter and
there's one of those woman there
with her glasses and relaxed hair
going
*typing*
and she's like, "can I have ID's
please?"
and you're like ID's,
everyone puts them down
*Typing*
 "Where you flying?"
and we are like, Durban please.
She's like, "Durban"
*Typing*
"Durban?"
Yes.
*Typing*
"are you flying now?"
No, tomorrow. This is a practice
run.
are you flying?
We are like yes, we need to fly
now
"Okay"
*Typing*
and then she starts typing
frantically
*Typing Frantically*
Which I never understand,
because when I book my tickets
all I need to do is click.
It's click, click, click, click
Johan, okay that one.
 Click.
Ah, Durb. Ah, that one, click.
and then it does it all.
She's there
*Typing Frantically*
I bet she wasn’t even busy doing
our
tickets anymore, she's just like
there
clicking, she's probably on
like Facebook or something
updating her status.
"Yo, another one, another one is
here
I'm dead, dead, dead
dead, another one's here,
dead, dead
Yo, overbooking, dead
Oh, poke back. Dead,
dead, dead, yo dead,
death by overbooking, yo
because of their fop-ha
the airline was as kind as to
 upgrade us
on the next flight to business class
They say,
we are sorry about what happened
here you go, business class.
I love business class, you know
you get to go to a special lounge
where everyone's very "businessy"
No, it is because when you're
in business class you hear
you overhear conversations and
they sound totally different, you
know you overhear people saying
things like
"Yes, well the mergers are coming
along I mean if you look at
the companies that are"
you know, people walking around
there
"Well, I mean if the numbers are
right we'll
definitely get that stock portfolio
going"
 just people walking there you
know, like
No, I'm taking care of the situation
to make sure the Shareholders are
happy and then we'll present to
management and
it's gonna be a installment of what
we You know you just hear like
businessy kind of stuff
where as when you are in
economy,
it's just a huge group of people
you generally overhear
conversations
like, "I thought you put it in the
bag!
you said you put it in the bag!
it was on the, I asked you to
put, why is it not in the bag!"
oh, wow and so we are going
through the airport
and then we go through security,
and I love security in South Africa
 it's the most chilled out security
you will find anywhere in the
world it is, like South African
security is just like, you know
we work on a honesty system
in this country, you know
the security guard,
he is there to enforce
but it's more an honesty,
look this is up to you
this is the honesty place, this
is where we all admit to our sins
come forward, do you have
anything to declare?
it's that type of place
overseas when you come through
customs, it's the craziest thing ever
you've got to take of everything,
you got to take of your shoes
and you take off your belt, you
know you cant wear a jacket
or a hoody or a cap or anything
you've got to take off your
 rings, nothing, nothing
or even coins in your pocket,
even if you got a big filling
then you're in trouble, you know
then you're like, but it's my teeth
and they are like, you're gonna
have to do something
you know, and then some
people are like, "excuse me"
ha, ha, ha, ha
ah where as in South Africa I
sometimes
feel like these security guards
don’t actually know what their
equipment does you know,
they are very chilled out about it
because you'll walk through an
airport security and get there and
the guy will be like
"go to number 4,
number 4"
and you go through
and you stand there
and the guy will be waiting, he'll
give you that bucket and be like
"Hey, what's in the bag?"
Like what do you mean?
he's like, "Laptop?"
Yes.
"Out, out, take it
out, laptop out, out
please put it by it's self, put there
yeah.
Any other laptop?"
You're like, no
"Laptop out!"
you're like okay, okay
what did you do?
okay, there it is
"okay" and my gun?
"no, it's fine. Just the laptop"
"Watching you"
it's so much fun
when you walk through
the metal detectors
which I swear either don’t work
 or these people really
don’t understand them at all
you walk through metal detectors
and it's not just at airports, no
matter where they are in this
country
you walk through a metal detector
casino, a school, Government
institution and you will walk in
there and it will make that sound
but then I don’t know if
they know what that means
because you walk through and it
will be like
*Metal detector beeping*
and you see how security guards
smile because they get ready,
they are going to use the wand
they love the wand
you can see they wait the whole
day.
"Yes, my time has arrived
Excalibur, I call apon you"
it’s like what the hell is going on?
"Yeah, just stand there,
yeah"
He pulls out his wand, those
black ones, he just pulls it out
*Light Sabre sound*
Okay it's not, I'm sorry
it doesn’t really do that,
it would be cool if it did though
*Light Sabre sound*
although it would be
weird, it would be weird
you know, for some guy from the
township to have a light Sabre
*Light Sabre sound*
wouldn’t work at all though, it
wouldn’t
it wouldn’t, it would be like
Darthvader would be like
"Bravida"
*Light sabre sound*
"Ah, bravida ______"
*Lightsabre sound*
it would have been the worst Star
wars ever
if it where in South Africa
wouldn’t it
*Lightsabre sound*
like the critical point,
the moment that made the movie
would never happen if it was
in a township in South Africa
because which guy from the
township would
claim a child after that many years
The guy would be like
*Lightsabre sound*
*Heavy breathing*
"Luke"
"Yes, what is it?"
"No, look there. It's your father."
*Lightsabre sound*
*Laughter*
*Lightsabre sound*
but it wasn’t, sorry. I digress.
the wand, the wand, the wand
 comes, I'm sorry
he comes out with the wand
and they always do that
thing, they go around
and we don’t know what it's
supposed to do or not, you know
*Beeping*
*Beeping*
*Beeping*
"any weapons?"
then what was that for?
even if I have something,
I'm not gonna tell you now
obviously you have been defeated.
"Any weapons?"
No.
"Okay"
and that's it
we like work on a honesty
system in this country
everywhere you go
like I would like to meet the
genius who invented the honesty
 book
Ah yes, the honesty book
yes, the book of truth. No one can
lie when they write in this book
whenever you visit someone at a
townhouse or an office complex,
we have the book of truth
fill in the book before you enter
Name, ah yes
surname, hm
phone number and adress
Reason for visit, Pvt.
We'll just do that,
look at everybody else
Pvt, Pvt, Pvt, Pvt, Pvt
Pvt.
and once I asked the security
guard, what is the point of this?
why am I filling in this book?
He's like, "No, it's for security
reasons"
I said I figured that
much, but what is it about?
 He's like, "it's so that if you
can do anything bad inside there
if maybe you can
steal or kill someone
then we can find you."
Ah, of course
because I wrote my
real name and surname
the honest killer strikes again!
it's just ridiculous
I was like okay, I kill someone
and what are you gonna do?
He's like, "then you see there, we
can
phone you and tell you to come
back"
"Yeah"
"Same time"

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