SELECTED WRITINGS LIVING 1973-1987 ay BY ALICE THE WALKER ara WORDonly among blacks (o my knows) that a ae of their exis tence i le in the language. Rootwortes, heen, wise people with second sgh” ae called “torheades” peopl. “This tvo-headed woman was amazing. [asked wheter the work would sunive, and she sid, No; and her expresion scemed to say, The way it is going theres no need frit. When I ted her what Vive eouldlshould do, she took up her wring sick and walled epresively and purposefully across the room, Dipping bit fom set side, ‘She sid: Live bythe Word and hep walking AM I BLUE? Aine ese ts in hse es tli ou For about three years my companion and I rented small house in the country that stood on the edge of large meadow that appeared to run fom the end of our deck staight into the mountains, The mourtain, however, were quite fr avay, and ‘betveen sand them there was, in Bc, a tow. Twas one of the many pleasant aspects ofthe house that you never relly were avare of this. Thwas a howe of many windows, low, wide, neatly Boor to ceiling in te ving room, which fece the meadow, and it was rom one of these that I fist ew our closest neighbor, largewhite howe, ceopping gras, Fipping its mane, and ambling about—not over the entire meadow, which stretched well out of sight ofthe house, but over the five or so fencedsin acres xs Waner Bm ne Geneve Gat Cae an Har A ie veered Unt pemcethat were next to the heny-odé that we had sented, 1 soon learned thet the hone, whose name war Blue, belonged to a ‘man who lived in another towa, but was boarded by our neigh- bors next door. Occasionally, one ofthe children, usally a stocky teenager, but sometines a much younger gil or bo, coal be seen riding Blue. They would appear in the meadow, climb upon his bac, ide faiously fr tenor fiteen minutes, then of, dap Bi onthe fans, an ot be see gin fo ‘There were many apple trees in out yard, and one by the fence that Blue could almost ach. We were soon inthe bit ‘of feeding him apples, which he listed, expecially becaute by the middle of summe: the meadow grasses—s0 green and suc- alent since January—hod dred out om lack ofan, and Blue stumbled about munching the dried stallshaf-heartedly. Some- ‘mes he would stand very sil just by the apple tre, and wiien ‘one of us came out he would whinny, snort loudly, or stamp ‘the ground. This meant, of course: want an spple Te was quite wonder to picka few apples, or cllect hose ‘thathad lento the ground overnight, end patently ho them, ‘oneby one, uptohis large, toothy mouth. Tremazined a thlled as child by his flexible dat lips, huge, cubelte teeth that crunched the apples, core and all, with such fnaliy, and his. high, broad-breased enormity beside whch, Ifelt small indeed, ‘When I was a chil, I used fo ride horses and was especially ‘indy with one named Nan untl the day Iwas riding and ‘ny brother delibertely spooked her and Iwas thrown, head ‘ist, aguns the rank ofa tree. When I came to, I was in bed and my mother vas bending wortedly over me; we silently agreed that perhaps horseback riding was nt the safest sport for ne. Since then [have walled, and prefer walking to horseback riding—but I had forgotten the depth of feling one could se in orse’ eyes i I was therefore unprepared fe the expresion in Blue's ‘Blue was lonely. Blue was horribly lonely and bored. [was not shocked that this should be the case; five acres to tramp by yourself, endlesly, even in the mest beautiful of mesdow— ‘and his war—camnot provide many intresting events, and once rainy season turned to dry that was abou it. No, I was shocked that ad forgotten that human animals and nonhmansnimals ce communicate quite wel if we are brought up around an- fale as children we take this for granted. By the ime we are adults we no longer remeber. However, the animals have at changed. They are in fet completed creations (at least they ‘seem tobe 90 much more than we) who ae netlielytochange; itis their mature to express themselves, What ele ae they going to expres? And they do. And, generally speaking they are ignored. ‘Afr gving Blue the spl, I woul wonder beck othe Jpouse, ave tt hema oberg me, Were more ales vo Sennen then? Was that beh sl entertainment rhe dy My prtnes rail son hac decide he wate to sn tow to piee guy we woted in alenee on our repecive sume | hough ‘Well, aboutslvey: about white chikren, who were ied ty black peopl who fnew tai fn al-aceting ive fom ‘ack women, and then, when they wer tele 0&5, wee ‘told they must “forget” the deep levels of communication be- tween thamches and “mam” Bat they knew Later they oul be abe rete quite ay, "My ld many wes sold {0 another goed fay.” “My old manny vas — — Flin the blank Many more yar tera white woman would Say art undentand there Negroes, the blacks. What do they wane? Theyre deren rors us" ‘And cout the din, considered to be “like nia by she “ele fe ey benign euperi for they sellwere), who did not understand thie deseiption a « compli- ment, ‘And about the thousands of American men who many Joponese, Korean, Filipina, and other non-English peaking ‘women and of how happy’ they report they ate, “Bll,” ‘uni their brides leam to speak English, at which point the ‘marciages tend to fll apart. What then di the men se, when they looked into the eyes ofthe women they maned, before ‘they could speak English? Apparently only thir osm reflections. 1 thought of society’ impatience with the young, “Why ‘ae they playing the music so loud?” Perhaps the children have listened fo much of the music of oppresed people thee parents anced to before they were born, with is pasionate but soft cies for acceptance and love, and they have wondered why their parents led to ear. {do not know how long Bue had inhabited his five Beau: ‘ful, boring acres before we moved into our howe; a yea afer ve had arived—and had also taveled to other valleys, other Cites, other words—he was sil there ‘Bat then, in our second year atthe ows, something happened in Blue’ life. One moming, looking out the window atthe fog tht lay Tike ribbon over the meadow, Taw another hone, a brown one, at the other end of Blue's field. Blue appeared tobe afraid oft, nd for several days made no stempt to go near, We went avay fora week. When we returned, Blue had decided to make fends end the two horses ambled ot ‘lloped along togethe, and Blue did not come neatly 2 often to the fence underneath tv apple tee ‘When he di, bringing his new fend with im, there was «diferent look in his eyes. A look of independence, of self. posession, of inalienable horns His frend eventually be ‘ame pregnant. For months and months there was, it seemed forme, a mutual feling between me and the hoses of justi, 6 pore ‘of peace. | fed apples to them both. The look in Bhe's eyes ‘was one of unabashed “this is ines.” Tr id not, however, last forever. One day firs visi to the city, I went out to give Blue some apples. He stood wating, or 50 I thought, though not beneath the tree. When [ shook, ‘he tree and jumped back fom the shower of apples, he made no move, I caried some over fo him. He managed to half crunch one, The ete lt fill othe ground. {dreaded looking into his eyesbeceuse I had ofcourse noticed that Brown, his pattne, had gone—but I dd look. 1 Thad been bom: into ‘Savery, and my partner had been sold o ied, my eyes would have looked like that. The chiksen next door explained that Blue's patmer had been “put with him” (the same expresion that old people used, 1 ad noticed, when speaking ofan ances tor daring slavery who had been impregnated by her ome) 50 that they could mate and she conceive. Since that was accom» plished, she had boen taken back by her owner, who lived somewhere else. Will she be bac? I asked ‘They did't know. Blue vas ike a crazed person, Blue was, to me, a crazed person, He galloped fariowsy, as fhe werebeing ridden, around and aound his ive bealifl acres He whinnied unt he cou He toreat the ground with his hooves. He att himself agains his singe shade tree, He looked always and always toxard the road down which his partner had gone. An then, ocesionally, when he came up for apples, or | ook apples to him, he loked at me. [twas alookso percing, ofl fre, 2 look so human, Talmast laughed (Lfelt too sad to ery) to think there ee people two do not know that animals sue. People like me who have forgotten, and dey forget, al that animals yt tell us. "Every- ‘hing you do tows wll happen to you; we are your teaches, 2 you are our. Weare one lesson” iseseialyit I think. Thee 7are thse who never once have even considered animal right: those who have been taught that animals actully want to be used and abused by ws, assmall children “love” tobe ightened, ‘or omen “ove” oe mulated and raped... They ae the sgeatrandchlden of those who honey thought, becuse Someone taught them th “Women ean thin,” and “niggers cant ain.” But most deturbing of al, in Ble’ large brown «jes was 2 new look, more panfl than the look af despair the look of ngs with human being, with if; the look of hated. ‘And it was odd what the look of hated di It ge him, for the fist time, the lok of a Beat. And what dt mean! sas that he had pat up 2 bari within to protect himself fom faher violence i the apples in the wold woulda’ change that fet [And so Blue remained, bef pat of on landscape, very peacefl to Teo at fom the window, white asst the ‘ss Onee fiend came to visit and said, loking out onthe soothing view: “And it would have tobe «white ome the very image of freedom.” And I thought, ye, the animals are forced to become fr s merely “images” of what they once so beau- tilly pres. And we are used to drinking milk rm con- ‘sine showing “contented” cows, wiose ral lives we want to hear nothing about, eating egs and drumsticks fom “happy” hens, and munching hamburgers advertised by bulls of integty ho seem to command thei te, As we tle of redom and justice one day forall, we sat own to sels. Lam eating misery, | thought, I tookthe ist bite. And sit it oot. 1986 ae FATHER ‘Though iis more dificult o write about my father than about sy mother, singe I spent ls ime with him and knew hima less well, itis equally as berating. Partly this is because writing bout people helps us to understand them, and understanding them helps us to accept them as part of ourselves. Since [shire so:many of my father's characteristics, physical and otherwise, ‘coming to terms with what he hat meant my life is eri to a fll aceptance and love of mel Tm positive my father never undesstod why I rote. 1 wonder sometimes ifthe appearane, in 1968, of my fst book, (Once, poems largely about my experience in the Civil Rights movement and in other countries, notably African nd Basie European, supused him. Ie is frustrating that, because he ‘now dead, | will never know. Tift, what I rget mast about my reionship with my {ater that it dd not improve uni fc his death Fora long time I felt so hut of fom him thet we were unable fo ial 1