LITERATURE REVIEW ON THE OFW

FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS1

The Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) phenomenon has brought tremendous

pressures and challenges on the OFW families. Distinguished Filipino Psychologist Dr.

Maria Lourdes Carandang described the Filipino family as “closely knit and cohesive –

the solid and basic foundation of Filipino society.”2 But with the fathers and mothers’

migration, family cohesiveness and closeness undergo severe stress that tremendously

affects the overall family dynamics. All members of the transnational families face

different and difficult challenges in the emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual

aspects of their lives.

This chapter deals with what the literature have to say about the effects of the

OFW trend on the husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship, as well as the

over-all dynamics of the OFW families.

2.1. Effects of the OFW Phenomenon on Husband/Wife

Relationship

1
Written by Gerardo B. Lisbe, Jr.
2
Maria Lourdes Carandang, Filipino children under stress: Family dynamics and therapy,
(Manila Philippines: Ateneo De Manila University, 2001), Preface.
 How has migration affected the Filipino husband-wife relationships? This section

deals mainly with psychological and emotional issues, sexual issues and the gender role

issues between the migrant husband/wife and their left-behind spouse.

2.1.1. Psychological and Emotional Issues

First of all, is the psychological and emotional issue. According to the Holmes-

Rahe Life Stress Inventory (sometimes known as The Social Readjustment Rating Scale

used mostly in the US), “marital separation from mate” is ranked as the 3rd most stressful

life events for a person, preceded by “death of spouse” (1st) and “divorce” (2nd).3 People

get married so they can be together (physically, emotionally, psychologically and

spiritually) for the rest of their lives on earth. But because of the complex factors of

migration, husbands and wives get separated for long periods of time and this separation

has caused tremendous stress to both of them. As the Human Development Report 2009

put it, “separation [between husbands and wives] is typically a painful decision incurring

high emotional costs for both the mover and those left behind.”4 The emotional and

psychological issues are exacerbated by a number of factors including marital infidelity

issues, and gender role issues, among others.

2.1.2. Marital Infidelity Issues

3
The American Institute of Stress, “Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory,”
http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/ (accessed July 14, 2013).
4
Human Development Report 2009, Overcoming barriers: Human mobility and development
(New York: United Nations Development Programme, 2009), 72.
2
 Another major problem concerning the husband-wife relationships among OFW

families is marital infidelity. In his personal encounters with the OFW families, Clinical

and Industrial Psychologist Francis Santamaria said that marital infidelity is “a very

common situation among many spouses of overseas workers.”5 Several researches have

shown how common this problem really is. In 2002 Estrella Dizon-Aonuevo (researcher

of the Frankfurt Institute for Women Research) and Augustus T. Aonuevo (Professor,

University of the Philippines Los Baños) did in-depth interviews with domestic helpers in

Hong Kong. Their survey revealed that “six out of 10 [left-behind] husbands had an

extramarital affair while their wives were away.”6 Some migrant wives are also found to

have committed it. According to the Aonuevos, “Physical separation from their husbands

and strained relationships due to marital infidelity and irresponsibility of husbands had

led to an increasing number of cases of extramarital affairs and lesbian relationships

among migrant women.”7 This statement is more than a decade old, yet the trend is still

the same today. In 2011 Ma. Regina Henchanova (Executive Director of the Ateneo

Center for Organization Research and Development or ACORD) and her team built an

online counseling program for overseas migrant workers. Their statistics show that of the

39 individuals who availed of online counseling, “a total of 26 clients raised the issue that

pertains to…infidelity,”8 which comprises two thirds of the total number of counselees.

5
Francis Santamaria, “Problems Regarding Family Relations and Children of Migrant Workers,”
in Filipino Women Overseas Contract Workers: At What Cost?, eds. Mary Ruby Palma-Beltran and Aurora
Javate De Dios (Quezon City: JMC Press, Inc., 1992), 71.
6
Estrella Dizon-Aonuevo and Augustus T. Aonuevo, Coming Home: Women, Migration and
Reintegration (Manila: Balikkabayani Foundation, 2002), 63. This is an 11 year old statistics based on the
year of publication of Aonuevo’s book.
7
Ibid., 5 and 26.
8
Ma. Regina A. Hechanova, Antover P. Tuliao, and Ang Peng Hwa, “If You Build It, Will They
Come? Adoption of Online Counselling Among Overseas Migrant Workers,” Media Asia 38, no. 1 (2011):
35-36, http://idl-bnc.idrc.ca/dspace/bitstream/10625/48154/1/IDL-48154.pdf (accessed August 21, 2013).
3
 Perhaps marital infidelity is the biggest issue married OFWs and their spouses

face. In her book Remaking Masculinities: Identity, Power, and Gender Dynamics in

Families with Migrant Wives and Househusbands, noted Sociologist and Anthropologist

Alicia T. Pingol presented that “The greatest fear [Filipino] husbands face when wives

are abroad is that their wives might find sexual gratification from other men.”9 This is a

valid and real fear not just for husbands but also for the wives left-behind especially

considering the prolonged separation between them due to their spouse’s overseas work.

If this insecurity between the husband and wife’s relationship is not dealt with

accordingly, it will likely lead to more problems in their marriage.

Why do OFW husbands and wives succumb to sexual temptations? According to

the researchers, loneliness is one of the major factors why many OFW husbands and/or

wives give in to infidelity. In one of Pingol’s interviews with a left-behind husband, she

asked the question, “What is the most difficult thing you go through because of your

wife’s absence?” The husband responded, “It is difficult to be alone (Pause, the tone only

expresses loneliness).”10 This is a common sentiment among OFW husbands and wives.

Pingol also reveals that for the OFW or left-behind husbands the long absences from their

wives put to the test their “control over their [sexual] desire.” 11 Their spouse’s migration

has deprived them of sexual gratification in the context of a close marital relationship.

Those who have no coping mechanism (such as having a trusted accountability partner,

regular communication with the spouse, etc.) to fight marital temptations and loneliness

9
Alicia Tadeo Pingol, Remaking Masculinities: Identity, Power, and Gender Dynamics in
Families with Migrant Wives and Househusbands (Quezon City: University Center for Women’s Studies,
2001), 103.
10
Ibid., 82.
11
Ibid., 83.
4
may find themselves resorting to pornography while others commit actual marital

infidelity.

How does the aggrieved spouse respond to his/her spouse’s infidelity? Pingol

stated that marital infidelity usually leads the aggrieved spouse to retaliate by committing

the same mistake, i.e., adultery or infidelity. Given the distance involved, things often get

out of hand; both become bitter and stop communicating.12 Eventually, this leads to

marital separation, not normally divorce, since there is no divorce law in the Philippines.

This, unfortunately, is exactly what happened to this researcher’s older brother and his

wife.

2.1.3. Gender Role Issues

Another issue related to the husband-wife relationship of an OFW is the

rearranging of traditional Filipino gender roles in the family. Sociologist Belen T. Medina

in her book The Filipino Family explains that in most traditional societies like the

Philippines,

husband/wife roles follow the usual gender lines of specialization, i.e., domestic
management for wives and livelihood preoccupation for husbands. Even today in most
societies of the world, wives are generally expected to perform the role of housekeeper,
cook, laundress, seamstress, and nursemaid. Husbands, on the other hand, are expected to
be responsible for supporting the family. 13

In a joint research project titled Hearts Apart: Migration in the Eyes of Filipino Children

undertaken in 2003 by the Episcopal Commission for the Pastoral Care of Migrant and

Itinerant People/Apostleship of the Sea-Manila (ECMI-AOS), Scalabrini Migration

12
Ibid., 91-92. Cf.: Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 5 and 26.
13
Belen T. G. Medina, The Filipino Family, (Quezon City: The University of the Philippines
Press, 2001), 140.
5
Center (SMC) and the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA), it was

reported that “The migration of one or both parents has definitely rearranged the division

of labor in the family during the time when fathers, mothers or both parents are

abroad.”14 When the husband migrates, at least he is still doing his role as the family’s

breadwinner despite the geographical distance. But the wife left-behind will now have to

take a double role as being both the mother and the father at the same time. Although

many of them do a good job in juggling both roles and yet some wives have confessed

that they’re having a hard time providing fatherly care especially with their sons who

need a strong father figure in the family.

It is one thing when only the husbands left. It is quite another when the wife and

mother is the one working abroad, thus leaving the family (husband and children) behind.

Many sources call this phenomenon the “feminization of migration.”15 Due to many

factors, women in general and mothers/wives in particular are now joining the migrant

workforce. The feminization of migration, first of all, shows that “the provider role is no

longer the preserve of fathers”16 or husbands. Many migrant mothers have become the

breadwinner of the family. This has created emotional and psychological problems

among the left-behind husbands. Secondly, the feminization of migration has also

changed the caregiving role of the parents. As the Aonuevos put it,

When women started leaving for abroad to become the main providers for the
family, the pressure to take on the second shift has shifted to the husbands left behind.
With the women absent from their lives, men now have to take over household tasks and
familial duties like taking care of the children. Doing the second shift is a dilemma that
most husbands have to contend with, because it is deemed feminine in this country. 17

14
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart: Migration in the Eyes of Filipino
Children (Quezon City: Scalabrini Migration Center, 2003), 34.
15
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 97. Cf.,
16
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 40.
17
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 84.
6
 The same finding is presented in the research done by Maruja M.B. Asis, Shirlena

Huang and Brenda Yeoh titled When the Light of the Home is Abroad: Unskilled Female

Migration and the Filipino Family. “In the case of married migrants, husbands often

spoke of the loss they felt when their wives left…[and that] their wives’ migration

initiated their entry into the world of ‘women’s work’ as the reproductive work

previously managed by their wives was transferred to them.”18 In other words, these

husbands have become “housebands” or housekeepers: doing kitchen work, marketing,

taking care of children, etc., a reflection of the change in the traditional gender role in the

family. More will be said about this under “The Effects of Migration on the Parent-Child

Relationship.”

Thirdly, feminization of migration has also challenged the left-behind husbands’

concept of masculinity. Pingol explained that traditionally, as head of the family,

husbands are expected to be providers and role models for their children, particularly

their sons.19 But their wives’ migration has challenged and changed this role. In his

research with the left-behind husbands entitled Heroes at Home? Disputing Popular

Images of Nonmigrating Husbands of Overseas Filipina Workers, Phillip Gresham

presented that “migration has affected men’s levels of masculinity, especially when the

migrant wife earns more than the husband does.”20 This is true for those men who are

“constantly comparing themselves to the gender norms of Philippine society, which see

them as the providers of the household.”21 Gresham also explored about the source of the

18
Maruja Milagros B. Asis, Shirlena Huang, and Brenda S. A. Yeoh, “When the Light of the
Home is Abroad: Unskilled Female Migration and the Filipino Family,” Singapore Journal of Tropical
Geography 25, no. 2 (2004): 206.
19
Pingol, Remaking Masculinities, 33.
20
Phillip Gresham, Heroes at Home? Disputing Popular Images of Nonmigrating Husbands of
Overseas Filipina Workers (Master’s thesis, Radbourd University Nijmegen, 2011), 79.
21
Ibid., 79.
7
husbands’ insecurity. He said that the insecurity that husbands felt is the “result of peer

pressure and the stigmatization of being the ‘lesser provider’” when compared to their

migrant wife.22 It should be noted that Gresham’s respondents were all employed

husbands. If this is true of them, how much more with those who are not employed and

are completely dependent on their wives’ income.

For some “housebands” (husbands left-behind) who don’t have work and are just

dependent on the wives’ income, the effect on their masculinity is even worse. According

to Pingol’s research, “Men who become housebound and fully dependent on their wives’

income feel threatened. They themselves admit their diminished sense of self-worth as in-

laws and other men look down on them.”23 The Aonuevos added that when these

husbands cannot stand up to the challenge posed to their masculinity, they are greatly

devastated.24

There are exceptional husbands, though, who have swallowed their macho pride

and became housebands who have challenged the stereotypes.25 According to the

Aonuevos, these few refused to accept their dependence on their wives and consider their

wives’ migration as a challenge for them to “balance their act [try to find a decent job],

not only because they want to be perceived as the dominant partner but more importantly,

because they want to be seen and remain as ‘tunay na lalaki’ (real men).”26 For husbands

who are like this, perhaps it will not take very long for their wives to come home for

good especially when they see that their husband’s income will be enough for the

family’s present and future needs. The problem is that not all husbands respond this way.

22
Ibid., 80.
23
Pingol, Remaking Masculinities, 33.
24
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 93.
25
Ibid., 6.
26
Ibid., 93. Cf., Pingol, Remaking Masculinities, 49.
8
 2.2. Effects of the OFW Phenomenon on Parent/Child

Relationship

As stated earlier, Filipino families are known to be closely-knit and cohesive.27

With the OFW phenomenon, however, Filipino families are experiencing different and

difficult challenges that affect parent-child relationships. All members of Filipino

transnational families experience psychological and emotional problems that affect their

relationships because all members experience the pain of family separation.

2.2.1. Issue: Emotional and Psychological Effects of Migration on

Both Parents and Children

Overseas employment has tremendous effects on the emotional and psychological

wellbeing of the migrant parents. First of all, the decision to sacrifice family proximity

for economic security affects not just the left-behind children but also the mover. For a

migrant parent, deciding to work abroad is not an easy decision to make. There are so

many factors to consider. According to Elspeth Graham and Lucy P. Jordan in Migrant

Parents and the Psychological Well-Being of Left-Behind Children in Southeast Asia,

“the balance sheet of international labor migration typically involves a trade-off between

economic well-being and family proximity.”28 To gain economic benefits overseas

parents (OSPs) have made a tremendous sacrifice including geographical and emotional

27
Carandang, Filipino children under stress, Preface.
28
Elspeth Graham and Lucy P. Jordan, “Migrant Parents and the Psychological Well-Being of
Left-Behind Children in Southeast Asia,” Journal of Marriage and Family 73, no. 4 (August 2011): 764.
9
closeness with their families. Because of this, both the OSPs and the family left behind

experience psychological and emotional problems in their relationships.

Secondly, migrant parents usually feel anxious and guilty for leaving their

families behind. In his research entitled Cognitive Life Strains and Family Relationships

of Filipino Migrant Workers in Japan, Yuko Ohara-Hirano found out that the migrant

Filipinos’ priority in life is their family back home. They always think about their family

situation. This emotional and psychological burden that they carry every day creates

considerable stress and strain.29 Many Filipino migrant women admitted that their

greatest source of anxiety and guilt is their separation from their children.30

Not only are the parents emotionally and psychologically affected by migration,

the children left behind are very much affected too. Primarily and generally speaking, the

OFW children also worry about their parents’ situation abroad.31 It turns out that OSPs

are not the only ones anxious about their family’s status but their children are too. Many

TV news stories are seen by left-behind family members about the horrible situations of

some OFWs in parts of the Middle East; it is natural for children to worry about their

absent parent.

Another emotional and psychological effect on children is the feeling of

insecurity when parents are thousands of kilometers away or are in the other side of the

globe. In Parreñas’ interviews with OFW children, she noted that children admitted

feelings of insecurity not knowing when they would see their parents again.32 This is the

irony of it all. Parents leave to provide financial security for their children both in the

29
Yuko Ohara-Hirano, “Cognitive Life Strains and Family Relationships of Filipino Migrant
Workers in Japan,” Asian and Pacific Migration Journal 9, no. 3 (2000): 372.
30
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 5.
31
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 22.
32
Parrenas, Servants of Globalization, 135.
10
present and the future and yet by doing so they actually leave their children feeling

insecure psychologically and emotionally. The writer believes that the financial security

seems to be of less value as compared to the psychological and emotional security that

children feel when both parents are with them all the time. Parreñas also added that the

children’s feelings of insecurity are exacerbated by the feeling of being abandoned by

their parents, the feeling that their parents are missing important stages in their life and

also of feeling deprived of parental love. 33 These are serious emotional and psychological

disturbances and if left unresolved, these will likely lead to more problems.

2.2.1.1. Emotional and Psychological Effects on OFW children When

Fathers Leave

In 2008 Nemesia Karen E. Arlan, Joeti L. Shrestha, and Yasmina G. Wingo wrote

a joint master’s thesis entitled Employment of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) and its

Implications on the Academic Performance of their Children. One of the aspects of their

research was to discover the effects of the father’s migration on his relationship with the

children left behind. They found that the longer the father is away from home (which

means less frequency of visits to the family), the more the bond between him and his

children is broken. The foundation of their relationship is weakened.34 This is the same

33
Ibid., 135.
34
Nemesia Karen E. Arlan, Joeti L. Shrestha, and Yasmina G. Wingo, “Employment of Overseas
Filipino Workers (OFWs) and its Implications on the Academic Performance of their Children” (Masters
thesis, Lyceum of the Philippines University, 2008), 39.
11
conclusion that Asis made when she discussed the emotional displacement that happened

between the father and the children.35

Battistella and Conaco, on the other hand, presented a slightly more optimistic

picture particularly in the area of the care-giving of children. They pointed out that the

father’s migration “is not necessarily disruptive for the formation of the children left

behind, particularly if the mother remains in the house.”36 Their finding reveals that the

mother’s presence (especially true with the responsible ones) makes a significant

difference in the psychological and emotional wellbeing of the children. Asis agreed. She

mentioned that “the impact on care-giving functions is not as felt, especially from the

point of view of the children.”37 Again this is only true because of the mother’s presence

who does a lot better at nurturing or taking care of the children despite the father’s

absence.

2.2.1.2. Emotional and Psychological Effects on OFW Children When

Mothers Leave

It seems like the psychological and emotional effects on the children when fathers

migrate are less in intensity as compared to the effects on children when it’s the mother

who leaves. “When women migrate,” according to the Scalabrini report, “it appears that

families go through more adjustments.” 38

This conclusion is not surprising because

35
Maruja M. B. Asis, “Living with Migration: Experiences of left-behind children in the
Philippines,” Asian Population Studies 2, no. 1 (March 2006): 57.
36
Graziano Battistella and Ma. Cecilia G. Conaco, “The Impact of Labour Migration on the
Children Left Behind: A Study of Elementary School Children in the Philippines,” Sojourn: Journal of
Social Issues in Southeast Asia 13, no. 2 (October 1998): 237. Cf.: Asis, “Living with Migration,” 57.
37
Asis, “Living with Migration,” 57.
38
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 4.
12
changes in women’s role often have more implications for the family than changes in

men’s roles as reflected in earlier discussion. Battistella and Conaco presented their most

important finding saying that “the absence of the mother is the most disruptive in the life

of the children.”39 “Children without their mothers,” Battistella and Conaco add, “seem to

have more problems compared with other children in the study.” 40

Research shows that younger children are very much affected when compared to

the older ones. Their mother’s absence due to migration has caused great confusion in the

minds of the young OFW children. As pointed out by the Aonuevos, “To young minds,

the explanation that their mothers left them because they loved and cared for them is

difficult to grasp.”41 They cannot understand the sacrifice their mother has made for

leaving them so that they could have a better economic future. What they want is for their

mother to come home to be with them. As Parreñas noted “children in transnational

families…hunger for emotional bonds with absentee parents and wish for the intimacies

of everyday interactions.”42 If non-migrant children need attention and emotional bonds

from their parents, how much more with those whose parents are out of sight or

geographically far from them. Parreñas comments, “in transnational households, the

absence of daily interactions denies familiarity and becomes an irreparable gap defining

parent-child relations.”43 This gap between migrant mothers and children, if not taken

seriously and resolved immediately, will tremendously affect their relationships for years

to come even when the mothers decide to come home for good.

39
Battistella and Conaco, “The Impact of Labour Migration on the Children Left Behind,” 237.
40
Ibid., 237.
41
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 105.
42
Parrenas, Servants of Globalization, 133.
43
Ibid., 121.
13
 Aside from the intense longing they have for their mother’s physical presence, the

Scalabrini research has also shown other specific feelings migrant children have towards

their OSPs. “The children of migrant mothers reported feeling lonely, angry, unloved,

unfeeling, afraid, different from the other children, and worried compared to all other

groups of children, including non-OFW children.”44 The report further states that for

some adolescents, their parent’s migration can be very trying. This is due to the fact that

the “period of adolescence is problematic enough and it is without having the added

burden of coping with the absence of a parent and the changes in the family structure that

goes with it.”45

As children continue to experience a series of unfulfilled desires for their mother

to come home, some of them become ambivalent toward their mother’s return and even

resent their mothers for abandoning them. The Aonuevos somberly described it this way,

Through the years, children of migrant workers who were left behind yearn for
their mother’s presence. In spite of this intense longing, a number have become
ambivalent toward their mother’s return, fearing that they will be deprived of a better life,
when their mothers do come home for good. Some children, however, continually resent
their mothers for abandoning them and have become indifferent towards them. They do
not care whether their parents come home or not. Some even feel that their relatively
‘free’ lives will be disrupted if their mothers come home. They base these on the few
occasions when their mothers came home and all they got were scolding and nagging. 46

In Parenting in Filipino Transnational Families Amethyst Reyes Taylor

highlighted the adult children’s reflection of their experiences of being reared in an

overseas worker family. She noted an incongruent/ambivalent perspective among the

participants. She said that the majority of the participants vocalized that their parent’s

overseas work provided a better future and this family structure felt normal and complete.

However, less than a handful of interviewees aspired for overseas work themselves, yet

44
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 56.
45
Ibid., 22.
46
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 110-111.
14
often citing that they did not want their future families to endure this hardship. Although

adult children gained a sense of respect for their parent’s decisions, the personal benefits

do not seem to outweigh the hardship of separation.47

2.2.1.3. Seemingly Contradictory Findings

In 2011 research was undertaken by Elspeth Graham and Lucy P. Jordan with a

larger scope since it deals with the Migrant Parents and the Psychological Well-being of

Left-behind Children in Southeast Asia. Graham and Jordan’s findings about Filipino

children seem to contradict Maruja Asis’ earlier findings presented in the article Living

with Migration: Experiences of Children Left-Behind in the Philippines. Graham and

Jordan said,

We found no evidence of poorer psychological well-being among Filipino children in

transnational households compared to children in nonmigrant households. On the
contrary, the results indicate that children in both father-migrant/mother-caregiver and
mother-migrant/father-caregiver households are less likely to have conduct disorders and
are no more likely to have emotional disorders than children living with both parents. 48

Asis and other researchers have been arguing that there are significant

psychological and emotional issues among children of transnational families. But

Graham and Jordan’s research somehow proved the opposite. Perhaps both Graham and

Jordan are fully aware of Asis’ previous research (among others) for they recommended

further research to “examine the contextual factors” that might explain their finding,

“including cultural norms relating to the role of women in society and reconfigurations of

47
Amethyst Reyes Taylor, “Parenting in Filipino Transnational Families,” (master’s thesis,
University of North Florida, 2008), 31.
48
Elspeth Graham and Lucy P. Jordan, “Migrant Parents and the Psychological Well-being of
Left-behind Children in Southeast Asia,” Journal of Marriage and Family 73, no. 4 (August 2011): 781,
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3229683/ (accessed August 12, 2013).
15
family life following the departure of a husband and father.”49 Two factors they

considered that could have helped OFW children deal with their psychological problems

are (1) the shared experience among so many transnational families and (2) the virtual

presence of both OSPs and their children through modern communications such as

computers and mobile phones.

2.2.2. Issue: The Caregiving Aspects/Arrangements of Migration

The Scalabrini report shows that “parental absence creates displacements,

disruptions and changes in caregiving arrangements.”50 In her book Servants of

Globalization, Rachel S. Parrenas presented three main forms of care expected in

parenting to ensure the reproduction of family. These are the following:

(1) moral care, meaning the provision of discipline and socialization to ensure
that dependents are raised to be ‘good’ moral citizens of society; (2) emotional care,
meaning the provision of emotional security through the expression of concern and
feelings of warmth and affection; and (3) material care, meaning the provision of the
physical needs of dependents, including food, clothing, and education or skills – training
to guarantee that they become producers for the family.51

With one or both parents working abroad, all three of these forms of care are

significantly disrupted. Migrant parents struggle with balancing between the material

care, often the main reason for migration, and providing the moral and emotional care of

their left-behind children.

As stated earlier, when the fathers migrate the children are usually attended to by

the mother 52 who generally does a good job caring for and nurturing the children. But

49
Graham and Jordan, “Migrant Parents,” 781.
50
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 65.
51
Rachel Salazar Parreñas, Servants of Globalization: Women, Migration, and Domestic Work
(Quezon City: Ateneo de Manila Press, 2003),117.
52
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 65.
16
when it is the mother who leaves, a reshuffling of caregiving functions becomes more

evident. The father becomes the “houseband.”53 He is expected to manage the domestic

affairs traditionally performed by the wife such as housekeeping, doing laundry, and

especially nurturing the children, among others. But research shows that not all left-

behind fathers are responsible housebands especially in the care-giving aspect. In Living

with Migration Asis noted that many “left-behind husbands continue to exert minimal

participation in the care-giving aspect”54 of children. Another study undertaken by Asis,

Huang and Yeoh (When the Light of the Home is Abroad) revealed that left-behind

husbands rarely become full-time caregivers of children.55 Because of this, the children

intensely miss their mother and the migrant mother also feels intense emotional

dislocation.

Research shows that when left-behind fathers fail in providing the nurturing

aspect that the children need, there are at least two factors that help mitigate this adverse

social cost of the mother’s migration. The first factor is the involvement of the extended

family (such as the grandmother or an aunt, the mother’s sister/s) in the provision of child

care and guidance. 56 The second factor is the availability of communication access which

makes it possible for some mothers to do parenting from afar, which is discussed in more

detail below.

53
Houseband is a term used to describe the left-behind husband who performs two roles as both
the father and mother of children. He does everything that is supposed to be the role of the woman/wife.
54
Asis, “Living with Migration,” 58.
55
Asis, Huang, and Yeoh, “When the Light of the Home is Abroad,” 206.
56
Rachel S. Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy: Class, Gender, and Intergenerational Relations
Between Mothers and Children in Filipino Transnational Families,” Global Networks 5, 4 (2005): 322. Cf.:
Graziano Battistella and Maruja M. B. Asis, “Protecting Filipino Transnational Domestic Workers:
Government Regulations and Their Outcomes,” Philippine Institute for Developmental Studies (Discussion
Paper Series 2011-12, Philippine Institute for Development Studies, Makati City, July 2011): 7.
17
2.2.3. Issue: Proxy Caretakers

The availability of the proxy caretakers does help in some ways. According to the

Aonuevos, “it is culturally ingrained in Filipino women to help out relatives who are in

dire need, most especially if it involves the welfare of children.” 57 These guardians can

help in keeping the bonds between the migrant mother and their left-behind children.

They take care of the children, manage the household and make sure that the monthly

remittances are used properly. This “caretaker phenomenon”58 exists especially with

mothers whose job abroad is to take care of their employers’ children while their children

back home are being taken care of by someone else. This is another offshoot of the

feminization of migration.

As important as the roles that proxy caretakers play, they are not without issues.

There is a concern about generation gap especially if it is the grandmother who acts as the

guardian. Sometimes surrogate caretakers are too lenient or too strict when it comes to

disciplining the children. They might have a different perspective as to how to manage

the remittances sent every month. Aside from these issues, in Children and Women Left

Behind in Labor Sending Countries: An Appraisal of Social Risks Rosalia Cortes pointed

out that substitute “caregivers are not always adequate for parental guidance.”59

Furthermore, Parreñas noted that “even with the presence of other relatives, insecurities

still arise among children left behind in the Philippines…[because they often] entertain

57
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 102.
58
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 97.
59
Rosalia Cortes, “Children and Women Left Behind in Labor Sending Countries: An Appraisal
of Social Risks” (Working paper, United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), New York, August 2008),
30, http://www.unicef.org/socialpolicy/files/Children_and_women_left_behind(3).pdf (accessed August
21, 2013).
18
feelings of anxiety and abandonment and feel deprived of parental love.”60 The Aonuevos

also asserted that “caretakers, no matter how caring and responsible, could not replace the

mother in nurturing the children.”61 This shows that the mother’s role is indeed

indispensable in the care-giving aspects of children.

2.2.4. Issue: Parenting From Afar

Many migrant parents, especially the mothers, know that their relatives back

home could not fully give the attention and care that their children need. So even if they

are thousands of kilometers away, they try their best to assert their role as a mother.

Despite the geographical gap, many overseas mothers want to provide the expected

moral, emotional and the material care for their children. They practice what the

researchers dubbed as “parenting from afar”62 or “mothering from a distance.”63 Parreñas

explained that the purpose of this parenting from afar is to try to achieve some semblance

of intimacy between the OSPs and their children despite the distance.64

Parenting from afar is made possible due to the advent of the modern-day

communications technology. In Mobile Phone Parenting: Reconfiguring Relationships

Between Filipina Migrant Mothers and their Left-behind Children researchers Mirca

Madianou and Daniel Miller pointed out that “cheap mobile phone calls have created a

60
Parrenas, Servants of Globalization, 135.
61
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 105.
62
Asis, “Living with Migration,” 46. Cf., Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy,” 323.
63
Mirca Madianou and Daniel Miller, “Mobile Phone Parenting: Reconfiguring Relationships
Between Filipina Migrant Mothers and their Left-behind Children,” New Media and Society, (March 23,
2011): 15,
64
Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy,” 326.
19
platform for intensive mothering from a distance.”65 Furthermore, OSPs and their

children can also use free internet calls like SKYPE or VIBER in order to communicate

more frequently and instantaneously with each other. Madianou and Miller cited that in

general many mothers see the availability of mobile and internet technology as “enabling

them to reconstitute their role as mothers and thereby ameliorating [making better or

more tolerable] their situation of absence,”66 at least to some degree. Some of these

‘cellphone mothers’ were the ones making the decision when it came to the major or

extraordinary activities of their children67 back home.

How has mothering or parenting from a distance affected the parent-child

relationship among the transnational families? On a positive note, according to Parreñas,

“the children who receive constant communication from migrant parents are less likely to

feel a gap in intergenerational relations. Moreover, they are also more likely to

experience ‘family time’ in spatial and temporal distance.”68 But Parreñas also reported

that “the technological revolution in communication has not benefited transnational

migrant families uniformly as differences in contours of transnational communication

exist across class.”69 Not all transnational families have the same access to the modern

communications technology particularly those who are in the rural areas. Furthermore,

Parreñas also cited that “distance of time and space [do] suggest a challenge to the

achievement of intimacy in transnational families.”70

65
Madianou and Miller, “Mobile Phone Parenting,” 15.
66
Ibid., 18.
67
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 24.
68
Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy,” 328.
69
Ibid., 334.
70
Ibid., 323.
20
 In her other work entitled Servants of Globalization Parreñas noted that despite

the benefits modern technology has brought to the present situation, “most parents do

admit that technology [still] cannot replace the intimacy that only a great investment in

time and daily [face-to-face] interactions can provide the family.”71 Furthermore, she said

that transnational parenting entails loneliness over the denial of intimacy especially since

“migrant mothers often battle with grief imposed by constant reminders of their children

[when they talk to them on the phone or via SKYPE or VIBER] and the emotional

distance engendered by unfamiliarity.”72

Madianou and Miller (Mobile Phone Parenting) also warned saying,

Although mobile phones are empowering for female migrants and present a
number of opportunities for intimacy and care at a distance, our evidence suggests that
we need to be cautious with regard to the celebratory discourse about the potential of the
mobile phone to overcome problems of family separation. 73

This is a good warning especially considering how children are responding to the

parenting from afar strategy by their OSPs. Madianou and Miller claim that for some

children the regular call by their migrant parent/s reassure them but for others it is

irritating especially when children feel that they no longer have things in common with

the migrant parent, or when they feel that they have more interesting thing to do. They

may also feel that their migrant parent behaves as if he/she was unaware of the actual age

of his/her child/ren. From some children’s perspective, being in constant contact still did

not mean parents actually had a better understanding of who their children were. 74 Aside

from this feeling of irritation that some children had with their OSPs, some resent their

migrant parents especially when they could not afford to phone back to their migrant

71
Parrenas, Servants of Globalization, 131.
72
Ibid., 121.
73
Madiano and Miller, “Mobile Phone Parenting,” 24-25.
74
Ibid., 19-20.
21
parent; many times it is very expensive to do so especially for those who do not have

access to free internet calls like SKYPE or VIBER. So they would always wait for their

migrant parents to initiate the call. This is very frustrating for the children especially in

times of loneliness or emergencies.75

Another concern related to parenting from afar is what Parreñas called the

“commodification of love,”76 which refers to the tendency of the OSPs to

overcompensate their children with money or material things as a trade-off for their

absence or as a marker of love. This brought another level of problem in the parent-child

relationship because no amount of stuff can compensate for the emotional and

psychological closeness that many children feel when their father/mother is physically

with them.

2.3. Effects Of The OFW Phenomenon On The Overall Family

Dynamics

It is noted above that the OFW phenomenon has significantly affected the

relationships of both the migrant spouse and the one left behind as well as the migrant’s

relationship with his/her children. Each member of the family experiences different

emotional and psychological challenges as they continue to live life having one

significant family member physically, and for the most part, emotionally absent. These

75
Ibid., 24.
76
Parrenas, Servants of Globalization, 122-123, 130. Cf.: Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy,”
323. See also her article “The Gender Paradox in the Transnational Families of Filipino Migrant Women”
published in Asian and Pacific Migration Journal in 2005.
22
factors have effects on the overall family dynamics as stated earlier. But another aspect of

migration also affects the overall family dynamics – that is the area of finances.

2.3.1. Financial issues

Financial security is often one of the major reasons for migration. Statistics show

that the financial benefits of migration are indeed significant. In 2012 the total

remittances sent to the Philippines by the OFWs reached to $21.391 billion.77 Looking at

this figure, it’s not surprising to see the positive value of the monthly remittances sent to

the families back home. Parreñas concluded that indeed “remittances play a central role

in transnational family maintenance.”78 Remittances boost or improve the living standard

or the livelihoods of millions of Filipino families,79 because through them the household

members back home are able to pay for durable goods, invest in the children’s education,

household improvements, and medical care. For others, they invest in business

enterprises as shown by researchers Gresham, Yang and Tabuga.80 These are some of the

affirmative aspects of finances as related to migration.

But there is another side to the use of remittances as discovered by the

researchers. The Aonuevos noted that “although the major reason for leaving the country

77
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, Overseas Filipinos’ Cash Remittances: By Country, By Source,
http://www.bsp.gov.ph/statistics/spei_pub/Table%2034.pdf (accessed August 17, 2013). It shows a 6.3%
growth from 2011 total remittances of $20.116 billion. This is equivalent to P 922.608 billion as of Oct. 5,
2013 conversion rate.
78
Parreñas, “Long Distance Intimacy,” 323.
79
ECMI/AOS-Manila, SMC, and OWWA, Hearts Apart, 33-34. Cf.: Human Development Report
2009, Overcoming Barriers, 72.
80
Gresham, Heroes at Home?, 80. Cf.: Dean Yang, “How Remittances Help Migrant Families,”
Migration Information Source, December 2004,
http://www.migrationinformation.org/Feature/display.cfm?ID=270 (accessed August 21, 2013); Aubrey D.
Tabuga, “How do Filipino families use the OFW remittances?,” Philippine Institute for Development
Studies, no. 2007-12 (December 2007): 6-7, http://dirp4.pids.gov.ph/ris/pn/pidspn0712.pdf (accessed
August 21, 2013).
23
is economic, very few OFWs return because of economic success.” 81 Parreñas affirmed

the Aonuevos’ findings. She noted that migration does not necessarily provide

tremendous economic security to the family because many migrant parents invest most of

their earnings in the family’s day-to-day expenses and are unable to invest in income-

generating resources.82 Furthermore, Ma. Regina A. Hechanova, Antover P. Tuliao, and

Ang Peng Hwa (If You Build It, Will They Come? Adoption of Online Counselling Among

Overseas Migrant Workers) discovered that many OFW families mismanaged the hard-

earned income of their OSPs.83 This explains why a number of Filipino migrant families

do not have substantial savings in the bank and are unable to pay the huge debts they
84
incurred before and during migration. If the family does not resolve these issues

satisfactorily, the cycle of migration will not be stopped. In this difficult situation the

OSP will be forced to stay abroad because he/she cannot afford to return home for good

due to financial reasons. This is especially true when there is no work available for them

locally.

CONCLUSION

It is clear that the OFW phenomenon has significantly disturbed and interrupted

the relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children and the overall

family dynamics of the Filipino transnational family. The emotional and psychological

costs of migration are serious. All members of the family are affected. The longer the

81
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 49 and 141.
82
Parreñas, Servants of Globalization, 114.
83
Hechanova, Tuliao, and Hwa, “If You Build It, Will They Come,” 36.
84
Aonuevo and Aonuevo, Coming Home, 5.
24
migrant parent stays abroad, the more his/her relationship with the left-behind family

members weakens and deteriorates. In the long run these relationships disintegrate unless

practical interventions by family members and those who care for them are done to help

minimize the dysfunctions experienced by the Filipino migrant families.

In light of this chapter, the writer will now explain the biblical foundations for

ministering to the OFWs and their families.

25