The 14th February...

Is this what love feels like?

having a sensation that feels so right?
floating in the sky even through the night
no stepping foot on the ground, just wanting to
keep being light
I never knew that I'd one day live in paradise
share my all then get the prize
love unconditionally, only to realize
that I was just an object all this time
when all I knew is that you were mine
so under your command that I'd always oblige
sacrificing my everything, for your life
wonder how I'm still alive.
I was always selfish on my possessions
and you, you were my obsession
if all those moments were a therapy, I'd have
gone for thousands of sessions
because I was losing it, I was in discretion
those filthy hands of bitches touching what's
mine, only wanted death
you, of all people, knew me too well, you knew
my wrath
if only I acknowledged your plans early so that I
would choose another path
to escape all that I feel now, to remove what you
attached.

Nothing would make ma happier than adding

you to my work of art
for making me feel miserable and happy at the
same time, due to your acts
by art, you think I mean actually painting?
yes I'm an artist, but this time, I won't use paints
for my view
I'll use a thick, hot red substance, coming from
you
remember, red is my favorite color, so splendid
so why not see it come from the one person who
used to be my favorite?

Every inch of your body, I wanted to worship, I

wanted to caress
with my lips, with my hands, I couldn't care less
your touch, just one, could make me a mess
your deep, hoarse voice, adding more heat,
breath shortened, heaving chest
you brought light to my nest, then left me in
darkness
my heart was too broken to ever trust again,
love again
trust is a foreign word to me, I have enough
pain.

But in all that, I learned

you taught me too much to be ignored
you made me who I am today
I'm not indebted you, of course, why would I
even pay?
I did what I had to, not much to say
cause I never tolerated toxicity
much more, disrespect, that's infinity
no grudges against you, my love
you were my first true love
we never forget our first, cause it's always the
best
uncomparable to the rest
not sure really if that's what I felt
but I truly loved you, my top novel in the shelf
romance, duh, what else?
what I'm not sure of though
is if you truly loved me or used me, although
we all got what we wanted
you wanted someone to toy with
I wanted someone to live wickedly with
now that I did, it's a win-win.