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Chloe Reuter

Brother Williams

ENG 334

15 March 2022

The Destruction of Marriage by Perfectionism in “The Birthmark”

In marriages, people often have lofty expectations for what a partner and the relationship

with them should be like. Many people believe that a marriage will be as perfect as it seems to be

in the fairy tales that they read. However, Nathaniel Hawthorne does not entertain this narrative

in “The Birthmark.” In fact, Hawthorne believes the exact opposite. There are multiple ways in

which this story is interpreted, but there are not many arguments about how “The Birthmark”

shows the danger in perfectionistic expectations in marriages. This mindset is especially

prevalent in newlyweds, who are unsure of what to expect from marriage until they are in it.

Hawthorne equates Georgiana’s birthmark to an unprecedented flaw in a partner to demonstrate

what ends up destroying many marriages: Forcing an unachievable idea of perfectionism onto

another person.

The term “perfectionism” and how it can be toxic in serious relationships may be easy to

misunderstand, since self-improvement is generally a desirable goal. The definition of

“perfectionism,” according to an article titled “Perfectionism” on the GoodTherapy website is

“the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it’s possible to achieve perfection”

(“Perfectionism”). The last part of this definition is what is important to the toxicity of Aylmer’s

character. He not only has the faulty belief that Georgiana needs to be perfect, but also that there

is a definite way to become perfect. Later on in the article, the text states one way that

perfectionism can negatively impact one’s life is that “perfectionism can cause people to place
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their unrealistic standards on their loved ones, bringing extra stress and pressure into the

relationship” (“Perfectionism”). Furthermore, this kind of perfectionism is called “other-oriented

perfectionism,” according to the article “Perfectionist: Traits And Signs Of Those Aiming For

Perfection,” and people with this mindset typically “think they have no problems within

themselves but expect a lot out of others and insist upon projecting their ideas” of how to do

everything onto others (“Perfectionist: Traits And Signs Of Those Aiming For Perfection”). This

is exactly the issue that Aylmer is imposing on Georgiana and their marriage. If Aylmer was

only setting these standards for himself, it could possibly be a good decision. However, since he

is forcing her to abide by his own standards, it is not a justified or righteous act to do to

Georgiana. Doing this is what eventually leads to Georgiana’s death, which is a representation of

how perfectionism dismantles marriages.

Even outside of their marriage, there are a lot of opinions from other characters about

Georgiana’s singular flaw. Some people think that her birthmark is cute, while others think that it

is a curse of some kind. Georgiana tells Aylmer this when he first asks her about getting her

birthmark removed: “To tell you the truth, it has been so often called a charm, and I was simple

enough to imagine it to be so” (Melville 645). Even Georgiana used to think that her birthmark

wasn’t a terrible thing because other people liked it on her. Unfortunately, once she gets married

to Aylmer, Georgiana’s imperfection becomes indisputable to her husband; he believes that it has

to be removed. His viewpoint is typical of one who gets into a marriage and is immediately faced

with something that wasn’t expected or wanted. Lynn Shakinovsky, in her article “The return of

the repressed: Illiteracy and the death of the narrative in Hawthorne’s ‘The Birthmark,’” states,

“The mark on Georgiana's body does act as her signature…” (Shakinovsky 269). Despite the fact

that Aylmer doesn’t like her birthmark, it is a representation of who she is as a person and part of
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what makes her unique. Aylmer believes that it is the only blemish that keeps Georgiana from

being perfect and so he becomes obsessed with making it disappear, no matter what. This is

similar to when a partner in a new marriage tries to fix a problem in a marriage that may be

unfixable, when it may just be something that will have to be adjusted to. In an article titled

“‘The Best That Earth Could Offer’: ‘The Birth-mark,’ A Newlywed's Story,” the author, Liz

Rosenberg, talks about how Aylmer’s behavior ultimately destroys his marriage. The text says,

“What Aylmer effects is not a marriage but his own wife's death, the ultimate divorce.

Distillation leads to separation, separation to loss. Aylmer's failures arise from his confusion

about spirit and matter…in Aylmer's ‘delusion,’ he mistakes Georgiana's physical imperfection

for a spiritual one, and, in trying to cure her of her human nature, he kills her” (Rosenberg 146).

This quote supports the suggested point that Georgiana’s birthmark is a physical flaw that

represents something undesirable in a marriage partner. However, Aylmer sees this flaw as

something that must be fixed because he is making it out to be more than it actually is. He sees

the birthmark as an evil flaw to exaggerate its influence in his and Georgiana’s marriage so that

he has a good excuse to eradicate the blemish.

The article continues on to say that Georgiana’s birthmark seems to function as her heart

in the story. The text says, “In a story about the dangers of one-strandedness, Georgiana's failure

of excessive heart--while to Hawthorne the most pardonable of sins--is ultimately deadly to her”

(Rosenberg 147). The author of the article argues that Georgiana’s birthmark was a positive

quality of having too much heart or being too good. An individual’s flaws may appear bad in the

sights of some people, but they are often the product of their character or heart. Often times,

these personal characteristics aren’t a bad part of the person in question. This is why it is

important for married partners to be able to accept their spouses as they are and only try to
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improve bad things that actually need to change. People don’t always need to be fixed. The

article continues on to say, “If the heart sees only the heart's truth, "The Birth-mark" indicates

that it is nonetheless closer to reality than either abstraction or cloddishness. Georgiana differs

from Aylmer and Aminadab not only in the nature of her failure but in her clear-sightedness.

Aylmer never truly sees his wife; even when she is dying, he misperceives the true import of her

symptoms” (Rosenberg 147). This quote confirms that Georgiana’s flaw and character are good

things and should have been treated as such. Another point that the article also brings up is the

subject of one of Georgiana’s positive characteristics, which is her ability to see clearly. She is

able to determine that Aylmer is a failed scientist when she explores his lab and is the first one to

tell him when the experiment that is performed on her fails. Aylmer thinks she is just an

experiment, which is shown when he says this about Georgiana’s birthmark: “It was the fatal

flaw of humanity which Nature, in one shape or another, stamps ineffaceably on all her

productions, either to imply that they are temporary and finite, or that their perfection must be

wrought by toil and pain” (Melville 646). Up until she has to tell him that the experiment was a

failure and that he was wrong, Aylmer doesn’t consider that he was incorrect about the spiritual

nature of her flaw. Instead, he just obsesses over being rid of it so that she can be perfect and not

have a mark of her sin, or so he thinks. When you try so hard to change a marriage partner and

the bad things about them, you may end up pushing away their good qualities too. Oftentimes,

this leads to the end of a marriage. A spouse will see what you are trying to do and may end the

relationship, just like Georgiana symbolically did when she died.

Another important aspect of Georgiana’s birthmark and how it functions as a symbol in

the story is its connection to menstruation and marriage expectations. In the article “Speaking of

the Unspeakable: Hawthorne’s ‘The Birthmark,’” the author, Jules Zanger, says, “Menstruation
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in nineteenth-century America was perhaps the best kept secret of sexual life for the male half of

the population, especially among the upper classes, where a degree of personal privacy was

possible” (Zanger 368). Basically, menstruation was a very taboo topic because it wasn’t

discussed as much as it is currently. Men were kept in the dark because they probably were

uncomfortable when it was brought up. Since women were trying to cater towards men, the topic

of menstruation was extremely foreign. Therefore, Aylmer is symbolically reacting badly to

being exposed to menstruation for the first time when he sees Georgiana’s birthmark. The article

further explains that “the particularizing of Georgiana's ‘imperfection’ by the image of a

‘crimson stain’ is linked to Hawthorne's response to the menstrual aspect of woman's biological

life” (Zanger 369). Hawthorne is warning new married couples that there are going to be some

surprising things that come to light that they might not like. Furthermore, married partners

shouldn’t destroy a relationship because of one unexpected aspect of a person.

Aylmer’s treatment of Georgiana and her birthmark is typical of a controlling partner

who expects perfection in a marriage from the beginning of the relationship. In Zanger’s article,

it compares Aylmer’s behavior to that of a vampire. The text states:

…Aylmer may be regarded as related to one of the most influential archetypes of

nineteenth-century romanticism—the vampire—sustaining himself as he does on

Georgiana's devotion…As is traditional in the vampire myth, the victim has been an

active participant in the procedure that destroys her. If we regard vampirism as a

metaphor for a relationship in which one partner gains life at the expense of the other,

Aylmer and Georgiana's marriage may be described in those terms. (Zanger 366).

Aylmer’s behavior is similar to that of a vampire because he gains something by Georgiana

losing something. He didn’t exactly intend for what she lost to be her life, but it is still
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vampirism because the loss was ultimately his fault. Comparing Aylmer to a vampire also

emphasizes the lack of understanding he has for human nature. Georgiana’s flaw may cause her

to be slightly imperfect, but so does everyone else’s flaws. Alfred S. Weid’s article titled

“Hawthorne's Humanism: ‘The Birthmark’ and Sir Kenelm Digby” states that Aylmer holds “a

belief in a mystical ladder of ascent to perfection, the creation of heaven on this earth, a

metaphysical identity of matter and spirit or an occult correspondence that blurs the dual

distinctions of mortal and celestial, present and eternal” (Weid 348). This belief is Aylmer’s own

flaw throughout the story. Believing in making things perfect is how Aylmer leads himself to his

own failure by destroying “the best that earth could offer,” or Georgiana (Melville 656). If he

were to look inward, he would find that he has more flaws than Georgiana could ever hope to

have. It is his lack of self-awareness and flawed judgment of others that led to his wife’s death.

Aylmer’s desire for Georgiana to become spotless is not a concern out of her wellbeing,

but for his own selfish desires. In the article “The Invisible Hand Made Visible: ‘The Birth-

Mark,’” the author says this about the nature of Aylmer and Georgiana’s relationship: “From the

start, then, Georgiana and Aylmer's marital future seems a far cry from the separation of spheres,

in which women had authority over the private home while men dominated the public world, that

represented the ideal for many white, middle-class families of the nineteenth century” (Weinstein

48). Aylmer marries Georgiana because he wanted to use her imperfection in hopes to

successfully right his scientific failures. About this, the author of the article says, “The birthmark

presents Aylmer with a chance both to right these professional wrongs and, in doing so, to

establish Georgiana as the ‘perfection’ of hearth and home where he would fain have

worshipped” (Weinstein 39). Because of his desires, Aylmer separates Georgiana from her

home, which is the place she is used to, to instead dwell in his laboratory. Being “domestic” was
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supposed to be a natural quality for women during Hawthorne’s time, so it makes sense that she

felt weird while she was in his laboratory. Hawthorne isn’t asserting that women shouldn’t be

taken out of their domestic bubbles, but he is arguing against making a marriage partner do

something against their own will. Therefore, Aylmer was marrying Georgiana for selfish

purposes in the first place. It is good to think of your own desires in some regards when you are

picking a marriage partner, but not to the point of dehumanizing the other person. This kind of

selfishness can easily lead to perfectionistic behaviors, like Aylmer shows to Georgiana.

Weinstein also has an interesting view on what Georgiana’s imperfection represents in

the story: “Georgiana's body, and more specifically the birthmark, marks the site where the

promises of the laboratory and the home converge. But the laboratory, we later learn, has been

none too kind to Aylmer, whose scientific experiments up until this point ‘were almost

invariably failures, if compared with the ideal at which he aimed’” (Weinstein 49). This quote

shows that every time Aylmer had attempted to create something that was probably “perfect,” he

failed. Aylmer’s past failures are proof that perfectionistic expectations will always fail. What is

most interesting about this quote is what the author believes is represented by the birthmark. If

the birthmark is a symbol of the converging of the laboratory and the home, it also means that

the birthmark represents the inevitable struggle that happens when two expectations collide.

Georgiana expects a happy marriage with her husband, while Aylmer expects his wife to become

perfect. This idea of the meaning of the birthmark reaffirms that expectations should be talked

about and overcome instead of letting obsession take over.

Another reason that “The Birthmark” is a critique on marriage is the fact that this story

relates to the life of Hawthorne himself. In Zanger’s article, the text says this about the

relationship between Hawthorne’s own marriage and the story: “But this moral-the theme of the
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dangers of seeking for unattainable perfection-can also be regarded as illuminating Hawthorne's

attitude toward marriage-particularly in light of the fact that he had been married barely six

months at the time of the story's publication” (Zanger 367). Hawthorne created this story to start

a conversation about expectations in marriage. The story of “The Birthmark” in this context says

that people often have an idea of what they want in marriage, but when they actually get married,

those dreams are often ruined. Unfortunately, this is what happens when married partners treat

each other as what they think should be a perfect partner rather than the humans that they are. No

one will be able to live up to such an impossible standard. When the innocent partner attempts to

satisfy their spouse by trying to become what they want them to be, they may lose themselves in

the process. They could even die in the worst-case scenario, just like Georgiana did. According

to Weid’s article, it states, “Hawthorne regards this extreme faith in perfectibility in the Platonic-

transcendental sense as misguided, albeit high and holy in purpose” (Weid 349). Additionally, an

article titled “Bodies and Morals: Hawthorne’s ‘The Birthmark’ and Neil LaBute’s The Shape of

Things” by Dawn Keetley similarly expresses that it is “clear that Hawthorne not only sketches

the dynamics of a man's dread of a woman's corporeality, but that he also condemns it” (Keetley

16). Since Hawthorne was in the midst of a new marriage, he feels qualified in trying to point out

that the newlywed belief in a perfect marriage is irrational. Hawthorne was fighting against some

popular views at the time, which all believed that perfection was attainable and also inherent in

women. Using this story, Hawthorne was able to speak out against the favored way of thinking

and also display his own opinion that perfection is especially unattainable in marriages and

should never be expected to be a reachable goal.

Hawthorne effectively shows the world in “The Birthmark” how expecting a partner to be

perfect can ruin a relationship. The birthmark is a representation of an undesirable flaw in one
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partner when a couple first gets married. It also symbolizes unexpected qualities in a person,

such as how men would’ve been surprised to find out that their wives menstruate in the

nineteenth century. However, the birthmark is also a symbol for Georgiana’s personality, which

Aylmer is too far gone to realize or appreciate. Because of his obsession with ridding her of the

imperfect birthmark, Georgiana ends up dying, depicting the destruction of marriage that

happens when perfectionist expectations are placed on a partner. Aylmer doesn’t do any of this

with a love for Georgiana, but for his own desires. Since the experiment ends up failing, it can be

seen that any attempts to make something become perfect will ultimately fail. The story is in part

inspired by Hawthorne’s personal married life, and the message that he is trying to display is

this: Try not to have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations for your partner when you get

married because it could end up ruining it.

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Works Cited

“Perfectionism.” GoodTherapy, 5 Nov. 2019,

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/perfectionism#:~:text=Perfectio

nism%20is%20often%20defined%20as,describe%20or%20justify%20perfectionistic

%20behavior. Accessed 25 March 2022.

“Perfectionist: Traits And Signs Of Those Aiming For Perfection.” ReGain, 24 Jan 2022,

https://www.regain.us/advice/general/what-is-a-perfectionist-traits-and-signs-of-those-

aiming-for-perfection/. Accessed 25 March 2022.

Keetley, Dawn. "Bodies and Morals: Hawthorne's "the Birthmark" and Neil LaBute's the Shape

of Things." Literature/Film Quarterly, vol. 38, no. 1, 2010, pp. 16-28. ProQuest,

http://byui.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/bodies-

morals-hawthornes-birthmark-neil-labutes/docview/226984120/se-2?accountid=9817.

Melville, Herman. “The Birthmark.” The Norton Anthology of American Literature, Vol. 1:

Beginnings to 1865. Edited by Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine, Shorter 8th ed., W. W.

Norton, 2013, pp. 645-656.

Reid, Alfred S. “Hawthorne’s Humanism: ‘The Birthmark’ and Sir Kenelm Digby.” American

Literature, vol. 38, no. 3, Duke University Press, 1966, pp. 337–51,

https://doi.org/10.2307/2922905.

Rosenberg, Liz. “`The Best That Earth Could Offer’: `The Birth-Mark,’ a Newlywed’s Story.”

Studies in Short Fiction, vol. 30, no. 2, Spring 1993, p. 145. EBSCOhost,

https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?

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Shakinovsky, Lynn. “The Return of the Repressed: Illiteracy and the Death of the Narrative in

Hawthorne’s `The..” ATQ, vol. 9, no. 4, Dec. 1995, p. 269. EBSCOhost,

https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?

direct=true&AuthType=ip&db=aph&AN=9601050951&site=ehost-live.

Weinstein, Cindy. “The Invisible Hand Made Visible: ‘The Birth-Mark.’” Nineteenth-Century

Literature, vol. 48, no. 1, University of California Press, 1993, pp. 44–73,

https://doi.org/10.2307/2933940.

Zanger, Jules. “Speaking of the Unspeakable: Hawthorne’s ‘The Birthmark.’” Modern Philology,

vol. 80, no. 4, University of Chicago Press, 1983, pp. 364–71,

http://www.jstor.org/stable/437071.