Flemming An American Thriller A Comedic Mystery by Sam Bobrick ® SAMUEL #CHARACTERS, HENRY FLEMMING — Ouir hes, An wnssuonng ma in hi mi Fates KAREN FLEMMING ~ [lis ile. I STAN SPENCER ~ swe neck neighbor. Midortie AEUTENANT DAVIS ~ A plains loabes cop fn hi irs MISS HAVENHURST ~ A sweet sou ling wlio’ ha ou VITO MARDIGIAN ~ A ugh. smneatenin how, ACTI Scene 1 (TIME: Karly evening. Spring. PLACE: The entire play takes place in the Flemming living room, The Flen mings area well-tocdo family living in a large suburban Engtishestyle home in Westport, Con- necticut. The ceilings are high. The furnishings are fine, traditional antique pieres and accessories. ‘The front done of the home is located Upstage Right on «a raised open foyer A coal coset is adjacent to the front dowr. A few feet from the close is an archway that leads to the vest of the hanse. Upstage Right Center is part of the stairway whieh leads to the second floor Upstage Lift is sevies of French dows that go out to the garden. There are drapes on each side, A bar cart with cocktail glasses and about a dazen various bales of Liquor on top is placed Denonstage Left Stage Right along the wall is large paned window with functional drapes on both sides that looks out tothe front of the house. Upstage Genter ave tioo small sofas seperated by a fire Place. A small end table is al the far side of each. Seoural Pieters hang on the wall, Upstage Left is « grandfather «lovk AL Stage Right and in front of the window is a wing ack chair with a footstool. A small table with « phone sits beside it AT RISE: KAREN FLEMMING, «i utiractive woman in her late thinties, is just finishing preparing a drink Jor herself. She takes a sipp and smiles and sighs with6 FLEMMING. satisfaction, We hear a key turn in the front door and HENRY FLEMMING, « nicr looking, conservatively dvessedl man in his mid-forties ENTERS. He carves a briefease, KAREN calls to hin.) KAREN, Henry, is that you? Pin in here, (KAREN goes do HENRY es he ENTERS the living: room tand kisses him tendlerty on the check) Hello, dear, You've a little late getting heme this HENRY, Fin sory, There were some thingy E had to finish up. Are the children home? KAREN, No, Brenda's sleeping over at Naney’s tonight and Michael's at basketball practice NRY. That's vice KAREN, Drink? HENRY. Yes. Pd like one very much, KAREN, Martini? HENRY, No, Gint and ‘Tonic KAREN. (Preparing the drink) Well, davlingg, how was your day? HENRY. As a matter of fact, very interesting, KAREN. (Suyprised) Really? Now, isn’t that a nice surprise, You deserve an interesting day, Henry HENRY, Thank you. And how was your day, Karen? KAREN, Oli, the usual. Shopping, Inne, Very much like yesterday. Very pleas 1 few Martinis, 1 HENRY, Good. Good KAREN. I thought so. (Bringing him his drink) Oh, by the way, Henry, we're having dinner at the dub tonight with the Robertson HENRY, Didn't we have dinner with thent last night? KAREN, No. Those were the Blakes. They're very anuch Tike the Roberisons, aren't they? FLEMMING 7 HENRY. Yes. Remarkably. KAREN. And Saturday night we're going out with the Caldwells. They're very much like the Blakes. Remens ber them? HENRY. Yes, I think I do. KAREN. I woncler who we're very much like, Maybe the Haileys. They scem nice and stable. HENRY. Yes, I like being with the Haileys enormously: You hardly know they're there KAREN. So, you've had san interesting day, Henry, How very nice, By the way, before I forget, Suzy and Stan want us to go to Acapulco with them this Christmas, HENRY. I’n1 sorry, Karen, Even though they're 0 neigh: bors and Suzy’s your best friend, 1 find it harder and harder to tolerate that man. How they let him become a psychiatrist, Pl never know. KAREN. Well, he thinks the world of you. HENRY. Pin sorry to hear that KAREN. Anyway, T told Suzy we were going to spend this Christmas with the Kids, HENRY. That might be nice KAREN. Yes. I dow't believe we've ever done that before (Sighs) So, you've had a nice day, Hemry. How very nice HENRY. Karen, sit down, There’s...there's something [ have to (ell you. KAREN. Really? That's unusual (Sitsy HENRY. (A brad) Kaven, 1...1 sold the firm KAREN. You what? HENRY. I sold the firm, Thad to, Lwanted to, did. KAREN. (Swallows some of her drink) You sold the firm, Menryz HENRY. I did very well. The way it worked out, we'll have8 FLEMMING money coming in for a long time, and with our invest fected at all tits, our style of living won't be KAREN, Well, it's still quite a suxprise HENRY, I'n1 almost fifty, Karen. Do you realize T have been devoting mysell 10: business T hated for over half my lite? KAREN, I didn’t know you hated your work, Henry HENRY. I never talked 0 you about it KAREN, | know, and Lappreciated it, 1 really did. Isa bro- erage firm of some sort, ist it? Stocks, bonds and that ilk HENRY, Yes, and Pee hited every day Tve spent there. 1 even hated my father for leaving if 10 me. Twas get fing worse every yeu, Ehadl 10 make a change. KAREN, (1 bil whirwed) Then you're not vetirin HENRY, No, OF course not KAREN. Oh, well, that’s @ relief. PI be very honest with you, "know what 10 do with you around Henry, Fywould the house all the time. HENRY, | know KAREN. It's nothing personal ¥ KAREN, Well, what is it you're phinning to do now, dear? RY. OF comnse HENRY. Ave you prepared? KAREN. Five away HENRY, I'm going to be a detective KAREN. (4 beat) A what? HENRY. \ detective, Karen. Private Eye KAREN. (Another beat, She then begins fo langl mervity, Hen real ding Heany is quite serians, stops) Oh, come now, Henry. A dewetive? HENRY. Yes, KAREN, .\ bang-bang, you're deal, detective? HENRY. Exactly KAREN, Ob, Henry, Every now and then you are so FLEMMING 9 amusing. HENRY. I am quite serious, Karen. There comes a ti person’s lif when he must do what he wants 0 do. KAREN. Well, I subscribe to that to a degree, but a detec HENRY. Life is short, Karen, KAREN, Please, Henry, everyone knows that HENRY. I don’t want fo let the rest of my life fly by so uneventfitlly. At least this will be different, perhaps exciting, even fan, just didn’t want t be bored any ore KAREN. (Sighs) I'm going to make myself another drink, Henry. Would you like one? HENRY. Yes. ‘Thank you. KAREN. Good. Martini? HENRY. No. A Bloody Mary this time. (KAREN goes about prrparing hun more drinks) Anyway, its all settled, T have my license and Pm now the proud owner of the Aeme-Plaza Det tive Agency. KAREN. Would you mind very much if 1 got smashed tonight, dear? - HENRY. No. It's x spec KAREN. Than HENRY. It’s really not neh more than a hole in the wall, but for the time being it’s perfect. L bought out ovo, | oceasion, Go right ahead. brothers who owned it...‘The Mardigian brothers. They also gave me a fantastic dal on the furniture KAREN. Are there any employees? HENRY. They have a secretary who comes in for a few hows day. A Miss Haventut swith them for years. 1. I've kept her on. She's been KAREN. ‘That was ntice of you. It’s probably very difficult for older people to get new jobs. HENRY. Yes. Anyway, the operation was all set up and they were listed in the phone book and [didw't think forty10 FLEMMING five hundyed dollars was ann exorbitant amon lo pay for goodwill KAREN, Fort-five hundred, Is that all? Well, nv a little relieved HENRY, [ really feel muvelous about the whole thing, Oly Pye got something to show you, Karen. (Opens his briefease aard takes out a pistel) Look at this, KAREN, (Hortified) Ol any Gol! HENRY, 11's all right, E have a permit te carry it, Henry Flemming, Private Bye. [Tike ttt, My fee is five hu dred dollars a day plus expenses, Fim not inn it for dhe money, but Pee always Felt a substantial fee gives a client reasen Ww believe one Gan do a proper job, KAREN, [enry, it seems you've decided to live a funtasy, KAREN, Vos? HENRY, Why nol? ‘The epitome of life is fantasy, isn't i Everything @ person always wants is fantayy. [Chas to be, Dreams! Dreams are fantasy. And if person cin live his dreams, why shoulda’ he? KAREN. I refuse 10 get into a philosophical discussion with you, Henry, The ground rues are nich too vague and someone's feelings alwys get Inu t (A beat) So you're going fo be a detective? HENRY, Or a private investigator. Is correct 10 use cither term KAREN, Henry, would you do me a favor? Would you talk to Stan? HENRY, Now wait a minuce KAREN. No matter what you think of hint as a neighbor Tee heard he's a fairly adequate psychiatrist, HENRY. You think L need a psyehiatrist? KAREN. OF couse not, [just think you need someone to FLEMMING n talk to. HENRY. L was hoping it might be you, KAREN. You con't want to talk to me, Henry. You just want me to be understanding, and L will be, But you should talk 10 someone less involved. HENRY. Namely, a psychiatrist KAREN. You won't, will you? HENRY. | told you, Karen. For once [want to go with iny feelings. KAREN. Yes, you did say something like that. ‘The wile of a detective. T don't know, There seems t be a touch of elegance missing, don’t you think? HENRY. There's more to life than clegance and propri egy, F've had a belly fall of that, T want to get out into the real world, mect the people we read about in the hewspapers, see how they live, how they mingle among, themselves. KAREN. [ think Pll have another drink, How about you? HENRY. Yes, OF course, KAREN, Good, Martini? HENRY. No. Bourbon and Gingerale KAREN. (Pirpaving two more dvinks) hope you've 2 this detective business is not what it used 10 be, The fe usat other day while I was having my hair done, [read a nragazine article that professed just that. Private Detee- tives 110 Longe round shooting people and chasing cars, They're into more palatable undertakings, such of a more ay aduliery and corporate thievery, thing civilized nature. HENRY. Well then, all the less lor you to worry about KAREN, I just don’t want you to be 100 disappointed HENRY. [ don't think I will. [honestly don't think Twill KAREN, (She brings over two drinks and hands one to HENRY.) 1 say Pin thrilled, Henry. [have always been content with the life we've led. Serene, legitimate, a litle dull, yes, but always reliable, It would be a bit disheartening,2 FLEMMIN! if it were (o depart too greaily from that path, HENRY, I don’t see why it should, KAREN. [ hope not. In the meantime, guess there's not Ing more for me 1 do except wish you the best (Lifts glass in toast) To the AemePlazat Detective Agency HENRY. (He lifts his glass) That's very sweet of you, Karen Very sweet (They dink) End of Act 1, Scene 1 FLEMMING B Scene 2 (TIME: The nest eoening) (SUZY and STAN SPENCER, contemporaries of the Fen ining, are alone in the Hemming ting oom and in the middle of « discussion. ‘hey both have drinks in thei hands. SUTY is seated calmly, as STAN paces the room While the two seem to bicher constantly and quite often say cruel things to one another, their tone is more of a sarcastic tolerance rather than volcanic anger) STAN. I knew there was trouble in this house. could feel i Everything was just (oo perfect 10 be that perfect. suzy. 1’ ‘They've exhibited nothing but great respect and com sideration for one another STAN. As usta, Su tris it's my business to spot underlyiny always admired and envied their relationship. y, you're wrong, You forget, as a psychia- torment. That poor Henry. He was eying out for help all the time, and [failed 10 see the signals, Why? Why shoule a man who has everything go off the deep end? SUZ¥. Oh, please. You make it sound as if he were exazy STAN. It’s my philosophy to approach each patient as if they are crazy. Is up to them 10 prove they're not (KAREN ENTERS the room with hors oeuvres) KAREN. Here we are, something to nibble on STAN. Oh, yoo. KAREN, Getting back to Henry, understand a Jot of men do that sort of thing after forty, make a drastic change in their life STAN. You've luc} tions. Most men his age usually change wives that's all he wants to do is change voca: SUZY. That's a very insensitive thing to say, Stan. STAN. Excuse me, but was [talking to you? KAREN. Stan, one thing I'm certain of, Henry has never shown interest in other women, especially younger ones. He’s much (00 educated to fit in with today’syouth, He's obviously going through some odd midlife crisis that hopefilly will pass. Edo so hate upheavals in any Tite SUZY. Men are such little boys. STAN. Not all of us SUZY. All Fight, except for Stan. He's just little STAN. (Ignoring Susy. Clinically) Karen, he honest now, and this is very significant, How's your sex Tile? SUZY. Oh, Stan, That is so tniddle clas. STAN. For your information, Mis, Know-lteMl, sex is some times very important toa mun itt his forties, Besicles, there isnt a psychological problem: worth its salt that doesn’t involse some kind of perversion fy. Stan cll you just infer that Karen and Henry's sex lite is perverted? STAN. I they're enjoying it, probably KAREN, Fin so confused. All hese years I've lived sith’ Henry, he was so predictable, His favorite food, bis Lavorite music, bis favorite color...shey always remained the same. Except for his favevite dink, That's his one preference Pin stil at sew with, Dear me! Until yester: day, L would have recommended that every woman marry aman Tike Henry,.atnd now this, Pim just not designed for stress SUZY. T've lived with Stan for avelve yeaus, Ecould give you Tessons. STAN. You're lucky Edow't pay attention to you. KAREN, (Nervousiy) Tey almost teuethirty: 1 hope Henry's all tight, Twonder if he took his gu STAN, He hats at gun? KAREN, Yes, whieh is « big surprise. Pn nor sure he even knows how to use one STAN. A gun, That's very interesting. You know, of conse, a gun isa phallic symbol. ‘That's one of the first things anabore average psychiatrist has to learn. KAREN, (Nol listening) Lust wish he'd call FLEMMING 15 STAN. So are skyscrapers and oil derricks KAREN. (Catrhing this) What about them? STAN. They're phallic symbols. Let's face it, Karen, we're not living in a nice world. (Thre is a banging at the front door.) KAREN. Henry! (KAREN runs (0 the door, opens it and HENRY STAG- ERS into the room, His elathes are disheveled and his face is bruised.) Oh, my God, what's happened to you? (She helps to keep him from falling) HENRY, [1i, darling. Sorry I'm late, [ran into a bit of trouble. Pu on it case SUZY. Reillly? So soon? How wonderful. STAN. You look terrible, Henry. HENRY. It scemis P've been beaten up. STAN, Beaten up? On your first case? HENRY, I guess that’s the nature of the business KAREN, Help him into the ebvair STAN. Right (STAN dad KAREN help HENRY ( a chair) HENRY. Thank you. KAREN, Henry, I don’t like this in the least. STAN. Beaten up on his first case! That's really something! KAREN. Your suit’s absolutely ruined, Henry. P’'m so glad you weren't wearing your new weed, HENRY. Actually, Lvish I had been, It might have softened some of the blows. (They ease him into the chair) KAREN. May I get you a drink, Henry? HENRY. Yes. Yes, please KAREN. A Mati HENRY. How about a Whiskey Sour,16 FLEMMING KAREN. Right SUZY. Hn dying to hear the whole story, Henry. HENRY. A couple of guys got a little rough. STAN. (Jmpresed) No kidding. KAREN. [ think we should call the police. HENRY, No, Don't, It's notl KAREN. (Picks up the phone) Nonsenise, Ws our civic duty 10 report these insidious events (HENRY rushes to hes takes the felrone from her aud slams it denon feneefalley HENRY, Dou't call the police! (A bat, as they took ut cart otter KAREN, Henry, Pin veut wile. Par supposed to be cons HENRY. (inf) No police! KAREN. Tl get your drink, HENRY. Think sou KAREN. (ies Jorn Hemy? A Matin HENRY. No, deat: A Whiskey Siu KAREN, OF course, Forgive ine reel about yout wellave 1 dvvuks What its that you wanted, SUZY, What kins of a ease is if vou te on, Henry? HENRY. It's quite Eiscinating, but nothing Pan able to dis cuss at this time, By the way, did a Ma: Petersen eall? KAREN. No, HENRY. STAN, How did it feel te get beaten ap, Henry? Pye aways wanted to know: HENRY, It act anention, ally happened so List Lysisn’r really paying, STAN. Next time you should. [have « couple of patients who love to be beaten up. SUZY. Would you like something for your head, Henry? Fit get a cold towel LEMMING 1 HENRY. Yes, thank you. That might help. (SUZY EXITS the voom, KAREN brings HENRY his drink) KAREN. Here you are, Henry. [hope | didn't make it too sweet. HENRY. (Sips) Perfect! Ave the children home? KAREN. No. Brenda’s staying over at Carole’s house tonight and Michael's at Kenny’. HENRY. That's nice STAN. [ just can't g HENRY, That’s right STAN. Well, I'll be a monkey's ass HENRY, STAN. Don’t be silly. Pm your friend. 1'll stay as long as you need me Lover it, Henry. You a detective, Stan, why de you go home HENRY, [don’t iced you. STAN. I'm staying, anyway KAREN, Henry, is there aay chance that when you wake up tomorrow morning you might want to be something, else? Lmean, like a fireman or a sailor? suzy. ( ENTERS the mom with a towel) Here's the towel (She hands it to KAREN) KAREN. Thank you (KAREN stats to wipe HENRY’ head) You might want to get a tetanus shor 10 orrow, Henny. There's actually a footprint in your Forehead. STAN. Okay, everyone, it’s time for a professional talk, Why do minutes, HENRY. I'd rather not, Stan, you leave Henry and me alone for a few KAREN. Henry; you have t0 talk t someone, HENRY. Not $ KAREN. I inderstand how you feel, but at this point in our lives, I think it’s any port ina storm. Come on, Suzy8 FLEMMING. (She takes SU2W's hand and the too EXIT) STAN. Now don’t fight me, Henry. Eeur't help you if you ght me. HENRY. Stan, | don’t need your help, and Edom’ want your help. STAN. Nonsense, Now level with me, How's your sex Tife? HENRY, Look Stan, it's very simple. L was burned out. 1 could take another minute doing wheat f did. STAN, Hey chiatry? come on. Don't vou think 1 1 tivedl of psy (They des wot fave ench other during, the following eon essation) ENRY, Same olel lane dein, day after ondless day, week aie endless week, STAN. You can't in HENRY. I felt smothered, blocked, My life was going no- where. gine the sickies that [have to deal with, STAN. I had this one guy who used 10 pee in balloons ane throw them at buses, Imagine that, Henry. Repubsive, huh? HENRY, Toward the end, Ffonnd mysell making paper ait phines and just sailing then out of my office window, STAN. Then there was this other giv whe used 10 expose himsell to fire hydrants, Go figure that one out HENRY, One after another. Hundreds of paper airplanes, sailings out of a twenty-third story window STAN. Anyway, Henry, the way I see it is that what you've done is cither very courageous or very immature. There's a thin line benveen the ve. HENRY. I wanted 10 follow those airplines. So: ing, gliding free as the wind. STAN. So what Id like fo do Henny, is prescribe shock weal ments, HENRY. They were on a journey I desperately needed to take FLEMMING 19 STAN, If that doesn't work ont, then we go the confine ment route. You know, padded cells, straight jacket. the works: HENRY, (Tieng fo STAN) You haven't listened to a single hing I said, have you! STAN. Why? What did you say? HENRY, Before [ forget, Stat, we won't be able 10 go to Aci paleo with you this Christmas. STAN. Why nol? F RY, Because I don’t want to go anywhere with you, (Calling) Karen! STAN. You're x crucl man, Henry Flemming, but daen that may be a healthy sign, HENRY. (One last call) Karen! (KAREN F TERS the wom with SUEY) KAREN, Diel you have a nive chat, dear? HENRY. No! STAN. I enjoyed it HENRY. Becase you're a sadist STAN. So what, I'm still able to function, KAREN . Perhaps what Henry needs is a good night's sleep, HENRY. You may be it, Karen, Tam rather exhausted. KAREN. Good, an tomorrow, when you're fresh, why don’t we do something pleasant, Le’s plan a dinner party That would be diverting, HENRY. If it would make you happy. SUZ¥. [love dinner parties, but don’t invite the Kogens. Sean doesn't get along with the Kogens...or the Allens,..or the Kramers, STAN. (He has moved to the windese andl looks aut) Ov the Howe ards or the Langsteads, Tean't stand them either HENRY. Why don’t we just not invite Stan, then we ean have anyone we want STAN. (Looking out the window) Hey Henry, do you know20 FLEMMING anyone who drives a black limmonsine? HENRY. A limousine? STAN. I's parked in front of your house HENRY. (Prering out the window cautiously) Kamas be Petersen, He said he might come by KAREN. At this hour? HENRY. I'm sorry. [ve gor to go out for a while, (Gulps his drink dinar) KAREN. But Henry STAN. Gee, Henry, if that Petersen sive Gar Tike that, he must be it the big bucks, ny ean afford si expen HENRY. Yes. 11 would scom so. KAREN, Well, that’s a relief. Not that neat snob, Henry, but Udo find a little more comfort in knowing that you're dealing with people of substance, STAN. She's so tight, That's why I keep my prices high. Who wants to listen t poor people all day? HENRY. Don’t wait up for me, Karen. Mir not sure what time TIL he back, KAR But you haven't had dinner yeu HENRY, I'll grab something from the fridge when get home KAREN, At least straighten your tie, Henty HENRY, Right (He fixes his tie and kisses Kanon on the farehend) Goodbye, dear, Hove you. (He starts out) STAN. Take it easy, Henry, and give our trip to Acapuleo some more thought HENRY. I said F'n not going. STAN. Just think about it, You don't have to give me an HENRY. N-O! No! STAN. You're at troubled man, Henry FLEMMING a KAREN, (Calling after him) Be caretul, Henry. I's dark outside (HENRY EXITS through fiont der) SUZ¥. Men are such Tittle boys, KAREN, Aren't they, STAN. (Perving out the window) Tha’s strange KAREN. What's ditt? STAN. There are three people in that limousine now. Lonly saw one before KAREN. ‘They could be lanyers. A lot of wealthy people never go anywhere without their Tawyers, STAN. I never treat lawyers. They end up suing me, Well there goes Henry. He got in the back seat and they left. Ewonder whether he'll get beat up again, God, TL bet tha’s exciting, KAREN, [ really don't know what to do about this. Maybe 1 should have my Euther talk him? SUZY. That's good idea, Henry has always had the greatest respect for Walter STAN. Yes, maybe Waller ean get through to him, God knows [tied KAREN. Perhitps you're too close a friend, STAN. That must be it (The plone vings. KAREN answers it) KAREN, Hello?,..Yes...Well, he’s not here now...1 really don't know, he didn’t say: May I give him a messige?, What?...¥es, I will. Goodbye (Shue aangs up. She seems ee bit pacsted.) ‘That's strange. ‘That was Mr, Petersen, He said to tell Henry he called. SUZY. Hmmmun. I wonder who was in the car then? STAN. Very odd KAREN. Yes. Very, Anyone care for another drink? (STAN dard SUZY hand their glasses {0 KAREN.) (BLACKOUT) nd Act I, Scene 22 FLEMMING Scene 3 (TIME: The next day. Noon.) (Kaven's futher, WALTER LARSEN, is on the phone. He is a very poosperous and distinguished looking man in his midesixties.) WALTER. (On the phone) No, dear, he's still not home...O1 course, Karen's worried. Is the first time since they've been married that he’s stayed out all night. She was even going to cancel her shopping plans, but Emade her go...What?...No, not Tt contda’t possibly: be another woman, .\ man docsn’t stay out all nightif he has another won, He's usually home by two. Look, PI just wait around until (Phere is a THUD at the front door) Wait a minute, 1 think someone's at the door, VL call you back, (He hangs ups and goes to the front door. He opens itp and HENRY FALLS into the foyer onta the flour: Henry clothes cae a mess aun he's more bruised thea befire) WALTER. (Continued) Henny! fs anything wane: HENRY, (Weakly. Obviously in pain) Mello, Walter, How a WALTER, Henry, let me help you 10 the sot. HENRY. Thanks, WALTER, My goodness, Henry, look at your clothes, They'd never let you into the elub Hike that HENRY. | know. L know WALTER, (Helping HENRY [0 tle sujit) You obviously need dink, (Lays HENRY down on the sof} HENRY. I'd love one WALTER, Martini? HENRY, No. Vouk Gintlet FLEMMING 28 WALTER, Right. (He goes abot preparing the drink) Well, Henry, do you want to talk about it? HENRY. About the Vodka Ginlet? WALTER. No, Selling the firm and going into this bizarre new line of work, HENRY. Do I have to, Walter? WALTER. Why didn’t you come to me? We could have di cussed it, We have such a good rel tionship. You're more thin a sonindaw to me, Henry. You've like family HENRY. Thank you, Walter, but I just didn't want ( be talked out of this, Somehow, you have the rare ability to make sense. WALTER. (Hials HENRY a drink} is it you really want out of Tile? HENRY. Basically happiness, Walter WALTER. What else? you are. Henry, what HENRY. What do you mean, whait else? WALTER, When you only want one thing, Henry, you leave liule room for negotiation. HENRY. J wasnt satisficd with my life or where it was going, I wanted something more WALTER. Hemy, do you think I like the banking business? Do you think I'm completely satisfied with the five- hundred thousand dollar a year rut Pay in? HENRY. What would you rather do, Walter? WALTER. Almost anything! Maybe be a farmer, or a tuck driver, even a dock worker. Any job that makes you feel like you're part of the backbone of humanity, HENRY. So whit’s stopping you, Walter? God knows you're rich enough wo do anything you wi WALTER. Because I'm bright enough to know if one is to succeed att a task, he must have the proper style for it, Unfortunately, I'm just a very wealthy banker anda FLEMMING nothing else, Henry; E don’t want to hurt your feelings, but Edon’t think you have the style 16 be doing the sort of thing you're 4 wempaing. HENRY, Then [ will acquire it, Look atime, Walter Pa excited, stimulated. [feel like P've been liberated from the ting dreariness of unimportanee WALTER. You're also getting the erp Kicked out of you, You're not a kid smymore, Henry, Keep in mind, the older you get, the slower you best HENRY, ‘To finnally feel alive, Fill take that risk gladly WALTER, Pim alvaid you're missing the point, Why make waves, especially this late in the game? Henry, life ean be beamtiful if one learns to go from the beginning to the cel ay simply and effortlessly as possible HENRY. [find that autitude depressing, Walter WALTER, Only if'you try to analyze it, That's where so many of us go wrong, Learn fo take the cream, Henry, Leave the realities for the litle people HENRY. I've spent a lifetime without complications. 11's boring, ‘Today have no idea what tomorrove will bring, and Hove every minute of it WALTER, You're asking for someone te rain on your parade, Henry HENRY, Maybe, bit iC 100 hate 10 stops now, Pan inte some thing big Walter, and Thave to see it tirougl te the end. What time is it? WALTER, (Looks ad nie) Twolve-tifteen, Why? HENRY, (ives) Lnieedl 10 go. WALTER, But you've been out all night, For God's sake, nan, what unsavory mater ave you involved ine HENRY, The uth is, Fn not quite certain. AM Lean piece together tight now are just fragments, Fascinating frags ments. By any chance, did a Mr, Peters WALTER, No. Not while Hwas here HENRY, ni very worvied about him, He could be in grave danger FLEMMING 25 WALTER. This is madness. Henry, be honest with me, Is there a chance you could be killed? IENRY. Yes, Walter, there is that chance WAL ER. It isn’t right, Henry. Don't you realize it’s not just your life you're affecting? [V's also the lives of my daughter and my grandchildren, 1 find it very selfish of you to put their agreeably conventional lifestyle in jeopardy, just so you can be happy. HENRY. Be honest with ae, Walter, don’t you envy me? Suddenly my life has become more exciting, more important, Halnost feel like some sort of « hero, In ine that, Walter, Henry Flemming feeling like a here. WALTER, (Sighs) I can see you've closed your mind to all reason, Okay, Henry, hav it your way. But Fd like one favor from you. L want your word that you won't get anyone else involved, Will you promise that, Henry? Will you? HENRY. So help me, Walter (Suuddenty shot vinygs cnt, a window pane shatters and WALTER slumps to the flv: HENRY looks at him for a moment) HENRY. (Continued) ...L ill wy my best (BLACKOUT) End of Act I, Scene 326 FLEMMING Scene 4 (TIME: Early afternoon. A Jew days later, The living ‘mane is empty. The frat door opens aiid KAREN, STAN, and SU2Y ENTER. Karen is in black and has «hand: Ierchief to da her eyes. They harve just come bear from a funeral, Stan ard Susy ane also durwsed far the arvasion “They lead Keen inte the Fring saan.) STAN. (Sighs) It was a wonderful fiend, [really was, SUZY. Come on, Stan, How ean fanerals be wonderful? STAN. Some of then are. ve walked away from quite a few with smile on any face SUZY, Really? [have a feeling thars the way PH Teave yours KAREN. Poor Mother, She took it so hard. To hope her ip to Paris will eheer her up, (Lanka watch) Her plane should be taking off right ahout now SU2¥. Life insurance is such a great comfort KAREN. Isn't it, And that Henry...n0t t even show ap. 1 have every right never to speak to hinn again. SUZY. IIe dlid send Howes. KAREN. Yes, but black orchids. E wonder whar the signilic STAN. Liried phoning bin at his new ollice KAREN, And? STAN. The person who answered, a Miss Havenhunst, sid Ihe was out Ona case SUZY. L wonder if it's still the Petersen ease? STAN. Tasked her, but she would wll me KAREN. [wish T knew whatt that ease wats about STAN. I couldir't get her fo tell me anything. F really tied Tealled her every name in the book, but she wouldn't budge KAREN, F hope you weren't too barsts with her, Stam. She's aan older woman, FLEMMING 27 STAN. Old? She dlidn'( sound old 10 me, KAREN. No? STAN. No. Actually she sounded quite young, KAREN. That's peculiar: P'm almost certain Henry implied she was rather elderly. L was planning to call her next week to ask her if she knew any single men for my mother SUZ¥. You've had a ying day, Baren, Let me fix you a drink, KAREN. Yes, thank you. I like one Suzy. Martini? KAREN, No. Scotch anid Soda. SUZY. Right. STAN. It like one, 100, SUZY. Martini? STAN. No, Kablua and KAREN. Poor Burher, He was such a charming, contented ‘even-Up, SUZY. ‘They say they're allways the first to go. STAN, Well, at least there is one consolation. The coroner said he dichr't know what hit hin KAREN. Yes, that is a comfort SUZY. Why would someone want to kill such a sweet, dear cl was a banker. I seems when you deal with fluctustting interest rates you make a lot of enemies. Anyway, iS over and [need 10 put it behind » (Starts to look through mail an the table) STAN. That's a very positive attitude. Only a nut case lives in the past. Although at times, Edo miss the eighties. SUZX. It was nice of the glass company 10 come right out ix the window, wasn't it? KAREN. Yes, they were very good. PIL use them again (Looking through the mail she comes upon a smal package) This is odd.28 FLEMMING STAN. What? KAREN, Today's mail, ‘There's « small packs Henry. His name and our address are made of ent up se that came for letters from a newspaper STAN. Open it KAREN, No. It’s addressed 10 Henry STAN, So what? You're his wile, L's community property KAREN. No, I couldn't, We that one’s mul is one's met greed on one wedding night STAN. Then let me. PHL just tell bine it eine to my house and Topenedt it by inistake. Ede that all the time (Suddenly BENRY apyprars al the Freuelt dors. He and his clothes mir even mone dishevelvd, He bangs on the ow) KAREN. Henry! SuZY. Look at him, He's a wreck, STAN, Should [ let hitn in? KAREN, Of course SUZY. Men are such little boys (STAN snnlarks the dour and HENRY STAGGERS in) STAN, Hi, Henry, How's it going? KAREN, Oh, Henry, Pat so glad te see vou. Father's bee killed. HENRY, | knows, Did you ger ny Howers KAREN. Yes, Enicant to ask yor about thent, Why bltck orchids? HENRY. ‘The florist was from Haiti, He assured me they brow Ht good luck, How are the children? KAREN, Fine, Brenela’s over at Melissr's anid Michael's bowk ing. 1 did't want them to go to the funeral. ‘There's enough death and dying ity the world without expos. ing them to the real thing. Suzy iy preparing some dink HENRY, Actually, Toul. KAREN, Martini? ., Henry. Care for one? FLEMMING 29 HENRY. No, A Salty Dog, SUZY. It’s on its way HENRY. I see you had the window fixed. KAREN, How did you know about the window, Henry? HENRY. [ was here when it got shor out, The bullet that struck your father down was meant for me, 'm sure oft KAREN. You mean someone was trying to kill you? HENRY, It appears that way. (Looks through the mail) SUZY. Maybe one day you should go to work with Henry, Stan, HENRY. Karen, hits Mr; Petersen ealled toda KAREN. No. And there's nothing on the answe! machine HENRY. That's strange KAREN. (Picks up package and holds il out to him) Oh, but you did yet dis, I eanie iat tockay’s anil HENRY. Really (Takes the package) STAN. Open it, Henry. Pn dying to see what's in it (HENRY starts (0 upen the package. STAN ties to peer ‘aver his shoulder: HENRY lors his best ta conceal the contents) HENRY. Come on, $ an I's adelressed 10 me, (HENRY opens the package and takes out a small black notebook) STAN. A blick book. What’s in it, Henry? HENRY. (Quickly glancing though it) Nothing important STAN. What do you mean nothing important? Nobody cuts Out your name and address front pieces of newspaper for nothing important, HENRY, I's nothing I ean discuss now,0 FLEMMING. (HENRY peers through the front window) STAN. You're onto something, Henry, What is it? KAREN. Henry, we've put up with your secretive attitude Jong cnough. T demand to know what STAN. Me, 100. HENRY, Please, Karen, Pd rather you not get involved, KAREN. Henny, my father's been killed, How eat Tn0t be involved? HENRY, Karen, as your husband, Pi asking you to ust 10. Suzy. (Handing ont drinks ta everyone) Lappy hour! STAN. Frankly, | don’t inderstand how things got rolling so fast. Eman you've only been a detective for a few diy. HENRY, Intriguing, isn't it? KAREN. ‘Things were going along so nicely, then suddenly may world starts falling apart, Why, Henry, and for what? HENRY. Karen, just be aware of this. ’'m very happy: For the fist ime in may life [feel Tike Pin actually significant KARE! . Henry, Pn really starting to get fed up with this, whole, stupid “AL ast Pon happy” auitude. ‘There ate other people inthis world besides vou. HENRY, Fn sorry, dear [1s just that ve come into contact With certain emotions Pye never Fel helore, Ir takes a bit of adjusting, (Putting his glass denen) Now, Fnced to go upstairs anid pack. Pan afraid Pin going to be out of town fora few ays KAREN, Oh, no, Where are you going? HENRY. St. Lonis, STAN. You mean this ease you're on involves traveling? HENRY, Looks that way (Kisses KAREN on the forehval) Sorry about your father (He starts ont} FLEMMING a STAN. Oh, by the way, Henry, have you given our Acapulco. wip any more thought? HENRY. For the last time, Stan, Labsolutely don’t intend 1 go with you 1 Acapulco or anywhere else (He goes upstairs) STAN. Something’s eating him. SUZY. Men are such litle boys, STAN. (Annoyed; mimicking) Men are such little boys! Men are such little boys! At times, Suzy, you can be such at boi Suz. I did't mean it in a derog tory way. Lmeant it to be, well, motherly STAN. ‘That doesn’t make it beter, Lhate my mother SUZY. You hile everyone STAN. At least Flom discriminate KAREN. Please, Stun, Suzy. Ethink all our nerves are a litle frayed STAN. It’s that goddanny husband of yours. Somehow he's starting fo make us feel Less important thin he is, (The DOORBELL. RINGS) TU gevitt KAREN. I hope it's not a condolence call. L just couldn't stand 1 be cheered up right now. TAN. (Opens the front dor) Yes? (ICS LIEUTENANT DAVIS, «nan in his late thirties, wearing a trench coal) Good afiemmoon, Mr. Flemming? No. He's upstairs. Ifyou've a salesman or a guy cok lectin bother for charity, we're not interested and don’t ing next door cither: TI yy own a pitbull DAMIS. (Hashing his eullet) Police. May Teome in? STAN. Police? paw 8. (Puslring his way in) Mrs. Flemming? KAREN. Yos?3 FLEMMING DAVIS. (Hasies his wallet again) How do you do. Pm Licuten- ant Davis, Ud like to talk to you. KAREN. IS it about my father? Davis. No. What's wrong with your father? STAN, Nothing now. He's dead. DAVIS. Really? Sorry te hear that, Anyway, Fm net on. that case, ve come to tlk 10 your husband, Ms, Flemming. KAREN, May Task about whit? bavi Abont the disappeanuice of a Mr, Karl Petersen, STAN, Il het thats the Petersen cise DAVIS, Whitt about the Petersen ¢ KAREN, Well, we really don't know much about it except it seenis 10 be ruining Henry's wardrobe (HENRY, yo wearin Mains with a fow articles of clething he plans to pack) ig et sport coat, comes denon the HENRY, Karen, have you seen my oxermight hag? (HENRY ENTERS the room, He and DANIS eve eacl other) KAREN, Ob, Henry, this is Lieutensant,..uh. DAVIS, Davis, KAREN. Yes, I'm sorry. He's with the police deparunent, He aso seems to be on the Petersen ease STAN, Say, Henry, did you know Mr Petersen is missing? HENRY. Reall KARE! May T get you a drink, Liewenant® DAMIS. Yes. ‘Thank you. KAREN, Martini? DAVIS. No. Do you know how to make a Bullshot? KAREN. OF course, Davis, That would be fine HENRY. Kare overnight bag? KAREN, Oh, let's see. I's probably int the little eupboare under the stains. FLEMMING 3 HENRY. TI ank you, (During the following HENRY goes to the cupboard under the stairs and removes an avernigiit bag from it) DAMES. Going somewhere, Mr, Flemming? STAN. Henry's going to St. Louis. Maybe you ean tell hin where he cin get a good donut HENRY, Stn, Lwwish you'd stay out of this, STAN. Just trying t be helpful, Henry HENRY, ‘The STAN. No. Davis. 1 like 10 ask you a few questions if you dowt mind, Mr. Flennning HENRY. Can we do this at some other time, Lieutenant? I rave a ppkine to cateh, (HENRY fas the overnight hag and starts packing his things) DAVIS. Where's Petersen? Ht RY, How would | now? DAVIS. He’s your elicnt, isn’t he? HENRY. Yes, he is, Davis. Then where is he? HENRY. I don’t know. DAVIS. I would like a beter answer than that HENRY, So would I av Lov’s not play games, Flemming, HENRY. Damn it, Pm not phiying games, Liewenant, As of this moment, [have no idea where he is, who he is, or whit he is, STAN. Really? God, L dow think you're much ofa detective ater all, Henry DAVIS. Ifwhat you say is true, Fenuming, Pm almost inclined toagree with Mr...Mr...UB, STAN. (Holding out his hand) Spencer, Doctor Stan Spencer This is my wife, Sizy. We live next door: It hasn't beena FLEMMING HENRY. I’ve taken Perersen on as a elient, but [ve never met him, All our dealings were by phone, Now L must go. DAVIS. I'd like to know what kind of trouble he’s in. HENRY, (Suspiciously) Trouble? 1 said nothing about hin being in trouble, Is he in trouble, Lieutenant? Maybe you should be the one telling me what you know. You say you're checking on his disappearance. May Task for whom DAVIS, Fim here to ask the questions, Hemming, HENRY. In sorry: Ehave nothing to tell you. (He has packed the exorrniglt bag DAVIS. (Tikes ont w photugraph and hands it to Henry) Look iW this. Tyan! you to study that face, this tims out to be the man you're working for, want you fo get in tone with me immediately HENRY, (Taking photo) is this Petersen: DAVIS. That's right (He studies Heney’s Jace as HENRY looks al the pictur) HENRY. (Eamining photo) He's naked! STAN. (Grabbing the photo fiom Hemy) Let me see. Wow! VIL bet he had no wouble geuing girlfriends. DAVIS. (Taking photo eeay) Give me thi STAN. Tin not done looking, DAVIS. It's ver Flemming important for mie to know what you know HENRY. There's nothing Feu tell yeu at this time STAN. (Looking up) What abont the black book yeu gor in the mail today, Henry? DavIs, What black book? HENRY, It has nothing to do with Petersen. Damn it, home STAN. No. DAMIS. There's something wrong, Flemuning. Heel it, Some thing wrong about you, about your story, One thing 1 have is FLEMMING 35 HENRY, That's wonderful, Licutenant. You should have a brilliant career on the force then. Goodbye, Karen. Give the kids my best (He is followed by KAREN, STAN anid DAVIS as he goes to the clase) Fa benter take my raincoat (HENRY opens the closet door and a body falls out with a letter opener in its chest) KAREN. Oh, my God! STAN. Joes! DAVIS, Lainkiine at the body) L knew it. It's Petersen. I's Peter sens chain it STAN, He doesn’t look as good with his clothes on: KAREN, Henry, the letter opener in his chest...isn't that the fone L gave you for Christmas? HENRY. L beliewe so. SIAN. (Faking @ business eard from the vietinr’s hand) Hey he’s holding your business card in his hand. ‘This is hota very good way to treat your first client pavts, (Halling his gran) L think you'd better come with me, Flemming, KAREN, Ol, no, HENRY. Maybe not [MENRY Hanus his overnight bag at DAVIS, knocking om uff balance and BOLTS out the door) KAREN, (Judy) Henry! You forgot your coat! \eROUT) End of Act One36 FLEMMING ACT IL Scene 1 (TIME: Karly afternoon. A few days later) (he living wom is empty. The front door opens and KAREN, STAN, «ud SUZY R. They ave all dressed inv black: again. They ENTER the living room.) STAN. Le was at wonderful funeral, It really was, KAREN. hope so, STAN, Oh, sure, [liked it even better than your fuher’s. Tt secmed to move along faster. Your father's dragged on ud on. KAREN. Well, futher went first class, They always make those Langer, Mi; Petersen we sent along coach, SUZY. Well, thought it was ve fanetal for Ma: Petersen, hice of you to have the KAREN. IH yay the least TF could do. The poor man Tad no one te clint him, And then with Henry’s involvement, Tint of felt responsible SUZy, Poor, Mr Petersen. No one to mourn hin BAL us, Hive perfect strangers, SPAN, No, not really, Lientenant Davis showed up. KAREN, Did he? SHAN. Just for a moment. During the minister’s eulogy whet Ltd 10 go to the bathroom, T saw him standing, in the back. He seemed to be very...upset...very sad KAREN. That's stunt STAN. Yeah, Then he saw me and ducked out KAREN, May [fis anyone a dink? STAN. Good ides 3738 FLEMMING. KAREN. How about three big Martinis? suzy. No, I'd like a Vermouth C STAN. C: strawberry soda. KAREN, Oh, sure 2 you make me a Red Russian? Thar's vodka and STAN. It doesn’t taste very good but the color cheers me up. KAREN, I wonder who could have killed Mv, Petersen anc why? STAN. Oh, come on. It had 10 be Henry KAREN. What would be his motive? STAN. Who knows? Llways thought Henry had a dark side Sometimes when my back was turned, [had the feeling he was making aces at me, You don't get that impres- sion from someone who is well SUZY. wits a litle disappointed that this ease didn't make the papers STAN. Oh, grow up. If they were to print every murder that happened in this city, there'd be no roont for the (Suddenly the firzplace swings opr and HENRY, diss in a white suit ENTERS through a passageway) STAN. (Continued) Holy cow, look at that! KAREN. Henny! HENRY, Hello, Karen, Nice 10 be home again (He pushes « nearby hidden bution aud the firplace swings back, He cvnsses lo KAREN raved kiss fr) How are the children? KAREN, Fine. Brenda's over att Kelly's and Michael went on a camp-ont, Henry, your hadt usaill worried to death, IAN. (Inspecting the fieplare) Gee, Henry, Ldidi’t know you had a secret passageway in your house HENRY, These older homes are full of surprises KAREN, (Handing STAN aid SUZY their diinks) Henry, why haven't you called? You've heen missing for almost a week now. Care for a Martini? FLEMML 39 HENRY, No, thanks. Maybe a glass of Chardonay: (As KAREN fous the wine, HENRY pulls the drapes cavonnd the vou, making. it dark) STAN. Hey, come on. You're making it too dark in here. (He sites en the light) NEY: Pia sorry. Ljust don’t want anyone looking in. KAREN. (/funling HENRY his wine) Your wine, Henry. NK. Fhank you. 1 idkes a sip) Unni. Quite nice, Unassuming, yer remarkably posi- tive, Hike that inva winte. Maybe more eases, Karen, ‘ou should order a few KAREN. H vou like, deat SUN. Where have you been, Henry? The police have been Inoking all over St, Louis for you. Henny, F wasn’t in St. Louis, Twas in Miami. Phat liute black book Fyeceived in the mail changed my plans. 1 think I should be able to fit the pieces together soon SHAN. What! pieces, Henry? You did it and that’s drat, PU pat neney On it HENRY: | didi do it. Tole you, I never even met Pete- STAN. F don’t buy tht and neither will the law, Why would vou kill a man you never met? I know Twwouldn’t HENRY, Exactly: And why would someone want to make it secu Tike Tid? [twas all too simple, don’t you sec? KAREN. Be the way, Henry, that’s a terrific looking suit, You actually look «quite attractive in it Heovey. Tank vou, T picked it up in Miami, (Means Hime) Ir dues look good on me, doesn’t it? L ordered four rniore just like it SUZY. Sint can never wear white, He has a tendency to be at pitg when he eats,40 FLEMMING HENRY, Dict anyone call while Lwvas away? KAREN. No, but Lieutenant Davis stopped by several times to see if'we heard from you HENRY, F assumed he would. Did you speak to hin at any Teng KAREN. Not really, but he's at very niee man, He has three cats. HENRY. [nmin (He enosses er tr check the mail) STAN. T hate eats. Especially when they fick yor. Their tongues ave like sandpaper KAREN. And Miss Havenburst, vonr secretary, Galled several HENRY, Dicl She? KAREN, She sounds inazinygly sould, Even Stay noticed it HENRY, Anyone else? KAREN, No, That was all (A beat) Henry, did you do ie HENRY, Kill Mr: Petersen? What do you think? KAREN, OF course not, Still, the muder weapon had your fingerprints om it HENRY, That doesn't surprise me KAREN. Well, to this. You've always been a proper citizen, you've t surprised me. Henry, yor must pat an end always obeyed the law, pitiel your taxes, you never ite tered, or jay walked. HENRY. L was regular goodie-twoshoes, was LIF SUZY. It was very daring of you 1 come here, Henry. Pan sure this house is being watched, HENRY, | had 10 chance it, Fneeded money (Puts his wine glass down) KAREN. Why? You have at cheekbook and plenty of credit cards, FLEMMING 4 HENRY. (Cossiny to a pielure on the Upstage wall) | can't use them. They could be traced. STAN. Fin not lending you a cent, Henry. Once you're in prison, know you'll never pay me back, HENRY. Fortunately, Lam amply prepared for just such an (Paves the picture aside, revealing a wall safe) KAREN, Oly, my: F didn't know we had a wall safe the HENRY, (Working combination) Yes, U've heen meaning 10 metion it to you (Opens safe} Abb. here we are (The sufi is filled with money. HENRY starts stuffing ills in his packet) STAN. (uprewsed) Wow, look at all that cash. And Pve been telling people you're living ha Lomouth, KAREN, White you going t do now, Henry? MENRY. (Closes the safe and slides the picture back in place) Karen de you love me? KAREN. Pan site do, AENKY. Good, IF Licutenant Davis comes looking for me rutin, dow't tell bin Twas here KAREN, I've never had to lic to anyone. P’'m net sure Pd be convincing. his situ ou is so terribly confusing, Tlemy, maybe Pn the wrong woman for you at this hnne in your Hite HENRY, Nonsense (Licks ap phone and dials 4-1-1) The nmaber for American Airlines, please, STAN. Laicver fy American Airlines, SUZN. They won't let you. STAN. Thos have ne sense of bnanor SUZY. Telling the stewardess you were strapped with dyna- site sticks wasn’t funny2 FLEMMING STAN. Well, I thought it was suzw. That's because you're insensitive and stupid. HENRY. (On phone) Thank you. (Dials) STAN. (Tiewnting) Sticks smnd stones will break my bones HENRY. (AAnnoyrd) Please! Pn on the phone STAN. IVS NOL me. H's her, She stants everything KAREN, By the way, Henry, the police have narrowed my father’s deaths down 6 either a randons drive-by shoot Ing or a possible suicide HENRY, (Disinirnsird) Good, good (On phones Yes. Hello, Can you tell me whitt tine your next avail aable flight leaves lor Chicago? KAR IN. Try to use on frequent flyers mileage if you ean, dear HENRY. (On phone) Six PM, Fine, Gan you put me on it STAN. Chicago. [hate that town, Suzy’s family lives there SUZY. They treat you very nicely STAN. What are you talking about? Your wother hit ne with a baseball bat andl your father van ie over with, his cat SUZY. Yes, but at the hospital they brought von candy, HENRY. Come on! Pin trying to inake a call here STAN. You're not the only one in this house, Henry HENRY, (On phone) My nae? Yes, uh...Jt's Wabash... Tkury Wabash, WABASH STAN. (Impressed) Harry Wabash. [like that. Lesa much bewter name for a detective than Henry Flemming, HENRY, (On phone) No. Leave the rerun open, Emi not strc when Pm coming back. PI pay for the ticket ar the airport. Right, Thank you, (Hangs up) KAREN. I think I'd fike another drink, How about vou, Henny? FLEMMING 8 1 RY, Sorry, no, Lhave to go, STAN. PIE bave another Red Russian, Only make it with saki shi tine KAREN. Henry; you just got home. At least stay to see the childrens, HENRY. (Kissing Kean on the cheek) Vn sorry, Karen, Lean’ Fur sure they'll understand, (The DOORBELL RINGS) KAREN. Now who ean that be? HENRY, (Pulls ont a gun and stands out of sight fiom the front dows We'll Soon Tind ont won't we KAREN, Henny, Fwon't stand for any shooting. We have a lol of nice things that can be broken. ENRY. Opens the door, Karen. STAN. God, Fi really starting to find guns quite attractive. They make my heart beat faster (Tle DOORBELL. RINGS AGAIN) Henry, Please, Karen, the door KAREN. Yes, af course, (Sent towards the front door and then stops a fero feet seasay foo iD) Wait a ininnte, dear What if the person who's at the dloor has at gin, 100? If he shoots and then you shoot, Hil be in the crossfire. Does that make good sense 10 (the DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN) HENRY, You're right. Stn, open the door STAN. Up yous, Henny HENKY, Never mind PI get it KAREN, Heuty, this is not my idea of a quality afiernoon, (HENRY opens the fiont door, hiding behind i as he dos) DAVIS. Hello, Mis, Flemming. May I come in?“ FLEMMING (Not waiting for a mpl. he ENTERS) KAREN. Oh, wh, Lieutenant Davis. Actually another time might be bene STAN. Hi, Licutenant, Guess who's here? His initials are HF HENRY, (Pushing the door shut) Kaven, when this iy all over we are moving away fiom this moron. STAN. Ill miss you. DAVIS. Hello, Flemming, [had a hunch you'd show up here rodlay: HENRY. A bunch is ner too fir emeved font a lucky (HENRY pts away his gun, DAVIS ENTERS the living ean fedlaueel fy ENR ccd KAREN) DAVIS. Pana pittient man, but Edo expect some answers, HENRY, Patient? You? Now really, Liewtenunt, thar's hharelly a common tail for someone in your Tine of work. DAVIS. You're x very strange neun. Mir Flemming. You have lovely homie, 2 most charming wile, good neighbors... haven"T met your children beeause they've always beet away, but T imagine they're very nice STAN. They have their problems SUZY. (Tis Davis) L would have liked to have had ebilelren Dut Stan says they all grow up envy HENRY, Only if’ Stun is the father STAN. (Angend) That's very insensitive, Henry, Sometintes 1 wonder why Leall you my best friend. HENRY, Don’t, becanse Pan not STAN. [ will, because you are SUZY. Men are such Tittle boys. STAN. (Pointing fin andl so help me, you ean forge! about the boob job 1 1 al SUZY j Sav thay one more time, Suzy promised you for Chrisunas. SUZY. Oh, yeah, Ldon't get the boob job and Pm telling everyone you walk around the house wearing iny dresses, FLEMMING 45 HENRY. Look, why don't you two go home and fight? STAN. Who's fighting? I'm not fighting. She's fighting. SUZY. He's impossible, STAN. [Miicking) Le's impossible. ERAREN pirks up ca small servant's bell and begins ring fing eqgononshy) KAREN, Quiet, please, everyone! Dignity! Dignity! (They all quiet doxwn) Hhar's better, Now, Lieutenant Davis, you have the Hoot Davis, Where the hell was 1? KAREN, You were telling Henry what a marvelous life he has paves, Yes, of comrse, Flemming, I just don’t understand why ou would jeopardize all this? Cbnbeates splendid home) Your wite told me you were doing so well with your KARIN Ves, we Tate an ideal life: together Henry would eave the house :tt eight and not come home antl sis: bavts, Weneter tal hours, KAREN, Few women could ask for more, My life was so perlect, Ealidirt even feel the need 10 take extension coanises at the University avis [es tow had you had to get caught up in something sone really know very Title about, lemming, HENEY, Hew could you possibly know how much or how hale E knew? STAN, Hye alnans felt the less you know about anything, the better, What about thse drinks, Karen? KAREN, ight, You wanted a strawberry soda and saki STAN. Ne car second thought, howabouta Vanilla Whammy Thar white nin, milk, and a dash of Tabasco sauce SUZY. PIL have that, too, Maybe it Tl yelax me46 FLEMMING DAVES. Make that three KAREN. 1 gu jou, Hemy? ss Pl go along with the crowd. How about HENRY, No, thanks, I'n going to need to leave soon. STAN. He's going to Cl HENRY. Shut up, St DAVIS. Chicago? Really, Flenuing? STAN. I hate € HENRY. You told us. STAN. Well, [just DAVES. Pin affaiel vour're not going sunywh ieago. # yout fo know Emcant it (Drea his gun ea pots it a HENRY ) Pa like yo HENRY. [1 sceis you have the upper hand, Liewenant gun, please. (Ue gui dre his gure and frats ital DANS) And then Whe not, KAREN, [ had a fecling this would happen STAN. (Tiying fo touch Henrys gun) Henry, betore you go, ean [touch your gun? HENRY. K ep away; you (With their guns pointed at euch other, WENRY aul DAVIS start fo eile vach ale «alight switeh on the wall) RY ninavines nwwnls Davis. ‘This is not the way [wanted it 18 end, Fle KAREN. Give him the gun, Hemy: For God's sike, give the gun. HENRY. If he wants my gun Pay afraid hell have to take it STAN. Right now L don’t know who to root for (STAN takes a bowl of peanuts from a nearby table, sits denon betroeen the fave men aud starts eating as if he were waiching a movie) KAREN, Please, 1 the law? FLEMMING a7 HENRY. (.Nvar the light switeh) The law, possibly. The L tenant, T doubt it, You see, Karen, T checked with the Police Depawiment, There is no Lie on the lore There isn't Well, in that case, Lieutenant, or Mi. Davis oF whoever you wre, Lill have (0 ask yo ty explain the reason for this deception or leave the premives immediately. Hnivey, Fel Tike to stay around 10 listen, but unfortunately L havea pkane to cates MMENRY switches off the lights and the stage goes dark) KAREN, (ins ifind) Henry! (Thr darkuess is filled with three gunshots. and a wom Pet teen] Seancane switeh on the lights! SHAN, Eset them, (The LIGHTS GO ON. BENRY is gone, DAVIS is at the ‘thes ened of the room behind a chair with is gun still in Jus Inca. SUL lies erupted in the middle of the floor) SPAN, (Continued) Henry! He's gone, KAREN. (Spotting Susy) Oh, y god. Suzy unavs sindies fo Suzy’s body and takes her hand) Davis. Pan afte she's dead KAREN. hor) Ob, no, Um av4s fry bis gun Jor inspection) DAVIS. And if von'll all notice, my gun wasn't even fired STAN, That Goddamn mie to Aeapilec Henry. Now who's going to go with (KAREN nu DAVIS look al STAN incredulously) (BLACKOUT) nd Act II, Scene 118 FLEMMING. Scene 2 (TIME: Several days later: Barly afternoon.) (The living room is empty. The front door opens and KAREN «nd STAN ENTER, They ane dressed in black ‘again. This time Karen is wwaring @ hat.) STAN. (With a smile) Ie was a wonderful funeral, 1 really KAREN, I'm sure Suzy would have liked it STAN. Maybe. One thi certainly 1 For certain, these past few elves Pin ting a lor of wear out of this suit KAREN. Well, ler’s hope it will be for the last tine, STAN. Why? With red! tie and handkerchief it looks quite sporty KAREN, Martini? STAN, No, A Navy Grog. KAREN. Oh, that’s a lovely idea (Prrpaves drinks) STAN. Well, things are certainly going t be different around dhe house without Suzy KAREN. Rather than go home where the memories are Stan, maybe you'd prefer spending a couple af days here? STAN. No, Pll be fine, Look, Host my wife, okay? But feet a person has to be philosophical shout these things. 1s still not the end of the world... mean for me, anyway KAREN. That's true. STAN. A person can’t he a sourpuss about life. It goes om lai, oobi, and Ice tiught myself w believe that everything that bayypens in this world happens for the best, even if i docstrt KAREN. (Handling him his drink, She alsa has ane for herself) That's very brave of yor, Stun STAN. | know, Besides, PI level with you, F don't know whether you noticed or not, but things really weren't FLEMMING 9 going that smootily with us, anyway. These last few months we were actually throwing things at cach other, you knows: shoes, clocks, knives, KAREN. Fn so sorry STAN, Aetuatly, F' niss it, Kept us bot fon our toes. Anyways, Fanadle up my mind, this is not going to change my \capnatew phins, KAREN. Hdoitt think i should. You probably need a vac tien new more Han ever SPAN. Fhar’s what Tsay. Now who do you think I should take? Hoye tout a hooker? Iemay be garish, butt at least people will see Pm not looking for attachments yet (Surkdenly the grandfather clock strikes FOUR, STAN favnl KAREN turn f0 i) KAREN, Fuat’s strange. That clock hasn't worked int years, The ENTERS the room fiom a passeg vessel in rab garb, ala LAWRE Jor: slides eavay from the wall and WENRY ty behind it. He is VIE OF ARABIA) tieny, Good aliernoon, KAREN. Henny! AUENEY vides the clock back in place) STAN. I news, Henry: You missed another terrific fimeral HENRY, Hello, Karen, Bassey her on the foreherd) Heav ane the ebilelren?: KAREN, Fane, Michael's at his ballet lesson and Brenda went ssvay For the weekend with a couple of boys. HENEY, Eats nice (He sity the dvapes andl turns on the lights) STAN, Thurs another great outfit, Henry. What’s the story with this ene? HENRY: Noth litle men’s shop in Cairo, Look, I'm sorry about Suzy Towser Falidhi't shoot her 1 out of the ordinary. I found this terrific50 FLEMMING KAREN, We already know that, Henry HENRY. You lo? KAREN. Suizy wasn't shot, [twas heart failure, All the shoot ing that night frightened the poor thing to death. HENRY. Well, F.can’t tell you how relieved Tam: to hear that STAN. Sui7y’s had a heart problem for some tine. It seemed to get mich worse afier we got married. OF course Henry, you've still wanted for the Petersen murdee: HENRY, [ told you, I didn’t do it, But Lthink I just might Ihave a good ides who did, KAREN, Really? Wouldir't that be wonderful? Care for a drink, Henry? HENRY. Yes, please KAREN, Martini? HENRY. (4 brat) Ves. KAREN, (Susprivid) Yes? HENRY. Yes, KAREN. nat’s strange. 1 hope E remember how to make [She begins making a Martini for Henry) STAN, [ve always wondered, Henry, What do those Arabs wear under that outlit? HENRY, Sometimes nothing STAN. Really? Must be painful to ride cumel like that (HENRY sriminves his Aoubiv clothing, Underneath he is swerving a daublednvasted blar baer, gory slacks, loafers sand shivt) STAN, (Continued) Nice outlit, Mache T ean borrow tat when you're away in prison. HENRY, Stan, I'm willing t@ bet even money that Suzy’s a neh happier wontan today: KAREN. I hope you didn't come home to be difficult, Henry, beeause Stan's is in mourning, STAN. That's right, Lalmost forgot FLEMMING 31 KAREN, Henny, 1's tine we talked. [feel T need to explain hy position: (Llurnels bri hs drink) HENRY, (Tonrsting) Cheers! KAREN, Cheers! Henry, any father’s dead, a dear friend is Head andl a perfect stranger is dead. PILbe honest with vou, alone know how much longer Lean put up with these snmosanees, HENEY, Karen, listen to me, In spite of all Pye been innate that 1 diche’t think ut vou The more | brushed with death, the more 1 sealizedt how important itis for a man t0 have a good eane tite KAREN. Really? Oh, Henry, those thoughtful words abnost muskes up for the nightmare mny life has beconte RY: HHhonghit it might {Tie DOORBELL RINGS) Ase sont expecting anyone? KAREN, No, All the condolence calls are being made at Stan's horse HaeiNeY, 14 Stan) Why aren't you there? STAN, Loo depressing. Everyone's going to be hanging srcamed with a long fice, Pm not ready for that, Un Tee hing Suay’s Cunily take care of all chat dismal erap. (The DOORBELL, RINGS AGAIN) KAREN. Pi almost afraid to answer it HENRY, Please do, Karen. It could prove to be very STAN. Yio know, Henry, You are playing this detective thing way exer the top. Is really beginning to irritate dae hell out of me RY, Gol (KAREN pny the daoy: MISS HAVENHURST ENTERS, She is brwctifd soomern inher late twenties. She seems frantic and upset)52 FLEMMING KAREN. Yos? MISS HAVENHURST: Mis. Fleming: KAREN. Yos. MISS HAVENHURST. May [ please come in? (Ay she porctically forces her sony in, she sees HENRY) Henry! (Sie rushes to HENRY nl (firoues herself into his arms) Oh, Henry. Thank God you're alive, | was so worried about you, Oh. thank God, thank God [She lays er leu way his chest, There is beat as KAREN, fund STAN look on) HENRY, (Clearing his Hint Karen, Stam, this is my secretary, Miss Havenhunst KAREN, Hello, STAN, By any chance, de you have a sister? MISS HAVENHURST, (i Henry) Where have you been, Henry? You had me worried sick, Lied calling every: where, Feven went down to the morgne several times. Ob, Henry, you're alive! You're ative! KAREN, Pardon ine, Miss Haemost, ean vou pee MISS HAVENHURST, Not very well, Why? KAREN, Just wondering, MISS HAVENHURST, Henry, you're in terrible trouble, You've ot to get out of 1own, STAN. [le’s just come from ont ol town. MISS HAVENHURST. I mean out ol the commmy. P have friend who has a boat, Henry. He eur stip you ine Havana. IFyou want, [ean join you her REN. Out of curiosity, Henry, how anuch do you pay Miss Havenharst? MISS HAVENHURST. (7 Kien) | kitow vou nunst think Pm really horrible, bursting in Hike this, but believe me Mis. Flemming, f you are. By the n just as concerned about Henry as ay, vor re Hot at all the way T piewved EMMING. 53 KAREN. Oh? MISS HAVENHURST. But I do like your hat KAREN, (Nol s1av haw to take this) Thank you. MISS HAVENHURST: Henry, Lean have all the arragements mmade by tomorrow morning. Until then, you ean stay At my place where it’s safe, You understand, Mrs. Fen ming, is for Henry's own good. KAREN. It is? HENRY. { Grabs MISS HAVENHURST by (he «vm and swings her towards him) You goddaumn lying STAN. (Barking away) Ob, ob. ‘Trouble. MISS HAVENHURST. Llenry! ‘ovter-phony bitch! HENRY. (Chuching her shoulders) You veally take me for a prize clump, don't you? MISS HAVENTIURST: What are you tilking about? HENRY. | want some answers, even if T have to beat then out of you (MISS HAVENIIURSY brraks away, slowly and fearfully backing up as WENRY stalks her) KAREN. Henry, [don’t think that would be politically com rect MISS HAVENHURST, Pleasc! I don’t know anything! You know that! HENRY, I've been shot at, bi wen, chased halfway around the world and Vin fed up. You know a lot more than you've told me, Ewant itll, and Ewant it now MINS HAVENHURST, Henry, I swe: ENRY. (Grabs her by the shoulders and shakes hex) Out with it, you hear me: (Ue pausires her into a chair, Definitely frightened, she ins inte ity KAREN, May T get you a drink, Miss Havenhurst? MISS HAVENHURY'. (Not faking: her eyes off Henry) Vodka on the roeks with a twist STAN. (Gulps dean his drink) I'll have another one, too,54 FLEMMING KAREN, Navy Grog’ STAN. No, Maybe a Tequila Sunrise this tine KAREN, Right. How about you, Henry? HENRY. (Fvesperated) Look, Pan trying to get something, straight here, Cate you hold up onthe cocktail party? KAREN, Henry, there's such a thing as being good host HENRY. Okay, TH heave st Martin KAREN, Really? That's two inv a row (KARE porpeaves the dink) HENRY, (Tir Miss Hevontinst) AIL right, Miss Havenhurst what about the Petersen ease? Do you want to tell me or do T have tw tell you? STAN, You mean you have it figured out, Henry? KAREN, Even Pit start know, Hey? to ger curios, Just what iy it you HENRY. (Looking sleigh al MISS HAVENHURST colt is rubbing hier shaulders) Vere was no Petersen case KAREN, What? STAN. Ob, come on, Henry, We saw hin fall out of the closet with your Teter opener itt his chest KAREN. Which reminds me, Pye got to get that letter epener Dack fro the police, Ws'sterling silver, But go ont, Henry, What de yor nies, there was ne Petersen case? HENRY, There was a Petersen alll ight, but there wits never aa Petersen ease. Tt away a setanp and E was the sebapare STAN. I think you're pissing in the wind, Heary, but Pn willing 1 hear more HENRY. It took a lot of thinking, se much thinking that thought niy brain would explode. Che uth of the matter is, never say Petersen. Louty talked 10 him on the phone. Lonly had Miss Havenhunst’s word that he was even i the office STAN. You meat there was no Pewersen? HE RY. (Annoyed) OF course, there was a Petersen. Just 10 Petersen ease, Will you pay attention? FLEMMING STAN. Pin ying, Henry. Pin uying, " HRY, [twats all very simple, Twas given a few phone calls, 1 few phony leads, sind beaten up several times to make mie think Lwas on to something, But it wasn't Petersen, Twvay dlealiang with, It was Petersen's murderer, And. then when Petersen was found dead, all my chu Jilin leuels, the motives, steldealy disappeared and 1 vos lel holing the bag. Am» Fright, Miss Havenbst? {Sher ser, MIENRY goes to her thirateningly) Aw Fight? MISS HAVENHURST, (Shielding her face) Please, Henry, don't vue an HENRY. | knew something was wrong from the stat, You dloart buy t business today for only forty-five hundred dllays. No, Ekinew Twas being set up right from the Fie anning, Ann Tight so far; Miss Havenburst? 1 sya hor by the chin forcing her to look at hin) Miss HAVENHURST. You're hurting mic, Henry! vty, (He ypurzes herein harder) Awa V ight? KAMEN. (She has the drinks) Okay, name them and claim seu Ne purses among them and they take their drinks) MINS HAVENTIURST. A Vodka on the Rocks. HENLE. (elesingg Miss Hervenhiurst’s chin) A Martin SEAN, A Hequila Sunrise, BAREN, «it hw last drink) And Bloody Bull for “moi.” (Huds ghass and toasts) Heres tnows! Vhey all toast ceed rine) MISS HAVENHIURSE You know, [never really discovered soulha anil t couple of months ago. Now Tnever drink sn thing else HENRY, | Grabhing Miss Hawenhurst's chin again) Von waiting Jor seme answers, Miss HavenurstP FLEMMING MISS HAVENHUT me, Believe me! STAN. Who made yor MISS HAVENHURST. The brothers. The Mardigian brothers sr. didnt want to do it, Henry. They made KAREN. The Mardigiany brothers? Aren't they the people yout hought the ageney from? HENRY, {Releasing Miss Haveulnsts chin) V Trever met them cither, which Ethought was rather MISS HAVENHURST. If only you didi dig, didn’t pry. fy could have ended so smoothly HENRY, And Lote have been the fall guy MISS HAVENHURST. Someone had (0 be. At the time Lida know it would be someone like you...Somcone I finaly cared for STAN, Hon do you Tike that? ‘The poor kiel’s it Tove KAREN. Henry, once this is all cleared up, it might be best for Miss Havenlurst to seek employment elsewhere MISS HAVENHURST. Please, Henry, please. You don’t know who you're dealing with, There’s still ime, Get out while: you still ean, HENRY, Why don't your MISS HLAVENHURST, Don't yore think Eve tried? HENRY, L Gund that very luard to believe STAN. Fdow't. There's something silbout Miss Laventinnst that’s extremely sincere. PIL bet she looks great ina arhinng suit MISS HAVENHURST, You «ont believe me, do you, Henny? Look in my purse MISS HAVENHURST. There's «bottle of pills. Just two of those and it would have been all over for me. L...L just didiyt have the courage KAREN, (Lanlts Hhrough the purse) There isa bottle of pills here, Hemy (She places the buttle of pills on a nearby table) FLEMMING 37 STAN. You were going to take your life? What a woman, (Ue approaches her) Where are you from originally? HENRY. (Lineyed) Will you keep out of this, STAN, Sony (60s off nvernds window) Miss HAVENHURST: Pn in it too deep to come out clean. Ob, Henry, if only you had come into my life a liwle SAN, (ering out trough the drapes) S Henry, do you Luwar anyone who owns a pruple Rolls Royce: ENHURST. (Fearful) Oh, no. It's theiy ear: "The Mar- dliggian brothers, Mss tn KAREN. \ Rolls Royce, Maybe the detective business is more Incuative than F thought SEAN. 1 the window) The car is empty. ka N, Can calling the police STAN. Good idles. KAMEN, (rks np the phone, starts to dial) That's od. MINS HAWENHURST, What's wrong? KAREN. The phone is dead. Hewey. Haat means they're in the house SIAN. Funes PIL be going home now, Call you in the morn- ui Inuly VETO MARDIGIAN, a large, rugged! man in Juvs late duties STEPS FROM BEHIND the Stage Right rapes with 1 gp) MARDIGIN, Sav tight where you are! Everybody! MINS HAVES ust, (Relieved) Vito! Thank God you're finally here 1 Sl uses tos hime ace embraces him) MARDIGIAN, You bet Tan and Pim not leaving till T get what Team bon58 FLEMMING (He erase to KAREN ) Okay, Flemming, the next move is vours, (Pointing his goon divertly al Karen's head) T want that black book, KAREN. Ohi, 1ny (LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK) End Act II, Scene 2 FLEMMING 59 Scene 3 (TIMES A fous minates later) (VETO MARDIGIAN jy fying KARE Tuas. Hee haus ae Uied behind her back so that Mar- Jygyan can pall them tighter. MISS HAVENHURST is oblong gan on HENRY and STAN, Karen's hat is He STAN, Anyone care fora drink? MARDICIAN. \ Sings to a dining room pore Sling if'you don’t mind. MISS HAVENHURST. PIL have another Vodka on the rocks, STAN, Kanon? KAREN, Nothing jist nowy, thanks. SPAN. Hews athontt you, Hemy? NEY. Ves, Another Martini, please. KAREN. My God, Henry, one Martini alter another Does this consistency mean you're finally getting a grip on sonsell? eNKY No, dear it just means that today I like Martinis. SEAN. Fvepiavin drinks) And VI have a Larvey Wallbanger MARDIGIAN. Your know, Bl swan of a problem than T anticipated. ming, you turned out to be HH. Lake thait asa compliment MARDIGIN. Hut eventually everybody's luck runs out, SIAN. Fhave a feelings it does, Henry. Makmician. Lyin the book, Flemming. Pm not leaving rere wathont i IMARMIGIAN pulls the rope tied armund Karen's hands bose) KAMEN. Ovi, He's making the rope tighter, Henry HENRY, Be biave, dear MISS HAVENHIURSE: [just want yout 10 know, Henrys that 1oo FLEMMING never wanted any part of this. HENRY, You keep implying that, Well, you have the gon. Prove it MISS HAVENHURST, (She fies fo pot te gun way. VITO siears ‘at her menavingty) 1-1 can't HENRY, I dichy’t think so. STAN. Poor kid must really be in wouble MARDIGIAN. Well, Flemming, what do you siy? Do T get the book or not? HENRY, Sooner or later, Mardigian, you're going to realize you're wasting your tine KAREN. Pn sony to hear that, Henry (MARDIGIAN pills the vope tighter) Cooooow! Just what is in this book he's after? HENRY, [rs a hook of names, Karen. Names and addresses of people blackunailed by the Maurdigian brothers. STAN. Blackmail? Is that all this is about? Fexpected at Teast espionage, What at disappointment KAREN, (Defeading hin) W's only his first case, Stan. MARDIGIAN. The book, Flemming, Tings firmer at te rope) KAREN, Qooowwww! He's really hurting me, Henry HENRY. Patience, dear, Ht seems the Tittle blick book Ma ligian wants is filled with names of people involved in white collar crimes. The brothers were hired by vari- ons corporations 10 check on then, However, instead unis contacted of reporting their findings. the Mardis the guilty parties and beeane their partners, MARDIGIAN, So far not bad, Flemming, HENRY, For a perce! Mardigians promised a clear bill of health, That litle tage of what was being stolen, the operation was netting then each «million dolfars STAN, (Whistles) Boy, would [like a picee of that (Bringing the drinks) FLEMMING 61 Happy hour! (He passes them out) A Singapore Sling for Mardigian, nothing for Karen, Martini for Henny, Vodka on the rocks for Miss IT, and a Tlarvey V alllnger for Stantey (Toasiing) Skolt MARDIGIAN. Hack xt you! (Pes all drink) HENRY, Now where does Petersen come in? KAREN, 1 wats just going 10 ask that. HENRY. Petersen was a mat who somehow got hold of the Ivok and was blackmailing the fardligians. Only there wasn tany Petersen, Petersen was the other Mardigian Inather using the nane of Petersen. STAN, You mean one brother was ripping off the other buother? MARDIGIAN. He was 2 punk, He couldn't be satisfied with hall the pie. He had to have ital, When [found out he was Petersen, I planned to kill hin and pin it on he sap who would buy the agency. SIAN. (Indicating Mardigian) L kuew he was the killer, 1 soul tell by his eyes. Sce how close together they are, Henny? In my profession that's usually the tip-off MARDIGIAN, Hut T dichr’t Kill him. F wanted to but T didn't Loved ny brother STAN. Wat wc aninaite, Fthought you just indicated that you haved sour brother MARDICIAN. Yes, | hated him, But T also loved him. You Laas hua those things work between siblings. SHAN, Nor really, Finan only child, My mother wanted more Int ony Lather refused to sleep with her afte HENRY, Vous would Lave killed your brother anyway, Vito, Now until von were in possession of the black book. KAREN. Fen whe dil?8 FLEMMING Y STAN. Who the hell could figure it out? Ry, Someone else who knew the entire story MARDIGIAN. You're wasting my tine, Flemming. T want that book, HENRY. What makes you think Thave it? KAREN, I believe [had something to do with thir, Henry: by ‘one of ny phone conversations with Miss Havens, Tinentioned you received it in the mail. Oh, Lenry. if only you were more content with your life, dis all would be happening to someone else MARDIGIAN, I want the book, Flemming. a Tightens the wpe) KAREN. Ooooowwwww! Henry, if you won't give hin the book, then at least rush things a little, wil you? HENRY, T don’t have the book, MARDIGIAN, Don't give me that STAN, Come on, Henry. Lisas here when you got the book in the mail. HENRY. | got a black book, Stan, but not the black book The black book [got was a phony, ‘The names. the addresses. Chicago, St. Louis, Miami, Cairo....All phony leads thar went nowhere MARDIGIAN. You're lying, Flemming, HENRY, Someone wanted you to think [had the book, to Inake you come alter it, f sel you Up. fe ser mE Up. LO play cat and mouse MARDIGIAN. Don't be silly. There's ne ene else involved. 1 know my brother STAN. Knew! MARDIGIAN, Right! He was a loner. Very mysterious, Very into himself. It had to be a solo effort HENRY. (inward the closed chaps) We've al forgetting one ‘other person, aren't we, Mi Davis? pavis. (STEPPING FROM BEHIND THE DRAPES at the French dowry and holding a gun) Very clever, Flemming, FLEMMING 63 Til take that gum, Miss Havenhurst (DAVES tales ther gain and sticks it in his jacket pocket MARDIGIAN Haris cxvay with his hands up) KAREN, How did you know he was there, Hemy? HENRY, In simply getting good at this game MARDIGIAN, Who the hell are you? HENRY. (i Drrvis) Sh DAVIS, Be my guest HENRY, This is your brother's lover MARDIGIAN. My brother's lover? 11 tell him? STAN. Holy shit! MARDIGIAN, You mean, mny brother Eddy, wis...avas. baUIs. Yes, gay and very proud of it KAREN, Henry, my batnds, teavey, Shh b! This is important, darling, MARDIGIAN. Yout and my brother Why Lought to, DAVIS, Get back! Yes, Ewas Eelward’s lover, When he was billed Lalnost went 10 pivees. MARDIGIAN, My brother a swish. I should have suspected it Ne wonder he was so neat DAVIS, | kisew all about his blaekma ig scheme and the whole Pelersen mess. But we had an agreement. 1 stave out af his profession, he stayed out of mine SEAN. Wat is it you really do? Davis. Pata interior decorator: KAREN, Henry, my fingers. I can’t feel my fingers. NY. Hole on, dean, We're getting close pavis, (fi Hany) When T found Edward, your card was chatcheit in his hand and the black book was gone. 1 [hated fis hoely in your closet and posed as a police ant hoping it would lead ane to the black book. 1 lesetve that bkick book, After all, Iived with the man far live wears, Fn entitled to something. STAN. Hoy about 9 drink, Davis?6 FLEMMING DAVIS STAN. (A brat) Boy, you've really come out, haven't you? One Cherry Herring on its way. Yes. Thank you. Any finity liqueur will be fine, MARDIGIAN. I'll uy one of those, too, if Limay STAN. No problem, Two Cherry Herrings, coming up. Well, then, Henry, if Mardigian didn’t do it and you say you didn't do it...who’s lofi with a motive? (Unnoticed, STAN takes the vial of pills fiom the table KAREN had placed thew on) HENRY. | should think it would be obvious by now KAREN. Ifyou knows, plea to lose the feeling it my neck wse tell us quickly, dear, Pm starting, HENRY, The only other person who was intimate enough with Eddy 16 know of his dealings. Someone who trad everything to g a brother to lose and a partner, Davis had a lover to fn ant nothing to lose. Mardigian bid lose KAREN. ‘The only one lef, if seems, would be Miss Haven Durst HENRY. Exactly STAN. But she's so exte HENRY, ( Grssing fo her) Is all over, Miss Haventiunst MISS HAVENHURST. You're pissing in) the wind, Henry STAN. Ltold him that, t00, Boy, Miss Hawentinst. wwe Have Jot in common. MISS HAVENHURST. What were my motives? HENRY. The best, ‘The greetreyed monster, Jealousy KAREN, [can’t fel my nose anymore, Henty HENRY, Just a Title Longes, deat (To all) You sce, before Eddy turned to anotlier sexual persia sion, he and Miss Havenburst were quite hot and heavy for cach other STAN. No kicldling? How did you find that out, Henry HENRY. It took a little back wacking, the neighbors, the FLEMMING cleaning lady at the office, the elevator ope Board of Health, ‘There was also one other suspicious set of circumstances. She scemed the only one not really that concerned about the black book, I think it's because she knows where itis, MISS HAVENHURST, Yes, it’s wue. T loved Eddy. When T Found ont about hin ane Davis, E went crazy. AML these years in love with him and then being dumped for an interior decorator Davis. Don't you think we need love, 007 MISS HAVENITURST: And then when he came to me with this idle of bluckin ling his own brother, T knew he was 10 good. He'd never be any good, MARDIGIAN. The excep, MISS HAVENHURST, (Tivnting on MARDIGIAN) Llc wasn’t the ‘uly creep, What about you? Always pawing me, using me whenever you wanted to, just because you knew about some bum checks T passed in Detroit STAN, You're from Detroit? Pm from Detroit too. Maybe vou know the Lockman’s. The father ran off with an want of mine. DAVIS. (Points gun af STAN) Llow would you like a bullet benveen the eves? SPAN, Sorry. Go on Miss Havenhunst MISS HAVENHURST, Anyway, when Eddy came his scheme T saw it asa chance to get even with him, 10 © me with Ineak free, And then when the opportunity was right, wher [fate ont where the black book was, I killed hin HENRY. Wil my letter opener that I left in iy office MISS HAVENHURSE I'm sorry [had to drag you into this, Henty. Most Private Eyes are crumbs, bat you turned ‘ont te be different, L was hoping somehow that all this, could be pinned on Vito here or Davis. MARDIGIAN. What athout the black book? MISS HAVENTURST, | have it, Tsent Henry a phony one66 FLEMMING knowing it would confuse things for a while, and give me chongh time to pull myself together L could have been happy with you, Henry, and with the information the black book contained we would have been secure ‘enough to five the rest of our lives on “Easy Street,” KAREN. My hair, Henry... ca HENRY. You killed a man, Miss Hhivenhuust n't feed my Ta: STAN, Le deserved to aie HENRY. No one has the right (0 take the law imo their own hands, KAREN. Henry, Lean’ (eel the inside of my head. HENRY, A few more minutes at the most, sweetheart MARDIGIAN. Now what do we do? We blay it to the cops and T get taken in for blackmail STAN, And Miss Havenhunst for murder: DAVIS. [ believe that since T have the gun, L hold all the aces, MISS HAVENHURST. You want the book, TIL give it 10 you. It's in the Tining of my bag. Just take it and get out, 1 don’t want any part of this anymore MARDIGIAN. You dumb broad. (DAMES ors into Miss Haven nurs’ handbag aad pr duces the black book) HENRY. I'in alvaid Miss Hacenhurst you just signed our death warrants. Now that he has the book he can't afford 10 let us lie. DAVIS, Dow't worry. PIL ty 10 make it pleasant, Maybe a fire or four murders and a suicide, KAREN, (Wivkly) Whatever you decide, just hurry, please. (STAN brings the dink to DAV 1S sdf MARDIGIAN STAN. Your drinks, Gentlemen. MARDIGIAN. Thank you. DAVIS. Yes, thanks. Clioasting, his glass to MARDIGIAN ) Well, to better times. FLEMMING 67 The twa sip their drinks) MARDIGIAN. You know, for a sissy drink, this isn’t bad, DAVIS. Yes, but it’s so fattening. Edward discourags fiom drinking sweet drinks, MARDIGIAN, He was very weight conscious, DAVIS, Ie had a love build, MARDIGIAN. He was always at the gym, DAVIS, You remind me a good deal of him, MARDIGIAN. Ie was about five inches taller DAVES, Yes, Eeouldn't wear hi someone your height MARDIGIAN, Really, Well, hb cls with Ketward, I really prefer aybe we eam work something, Nanay (MARDIGIAN chop his glass and slumps to the floor) DAVIS. What the...Oh, no. (He looks at his glass and then clutches his tact) Abhhh...Ahihbbhht (DAVIS slumps fo the flom, dropping his gun. is stunned silent for a brat.) Hueryone KAREN. Oh, my, (HENRY attempis to pick up Davis’ gun but STAN beats im to it and points it at HENRY) STAN, Okay, Henry, hold it right there, NRY. What are you doing? STAN. (With « mad gleam in hiv eyes, he holds up an empty bottle that contained Miss Havenhursts pills) They're dead, Pve poisoned them, Lused the pills from Miss Ha natal, MISS HAVENHURST, Again P'm to blame STAN, Don't worry, Pumpkin Nose, Pm going to take care of everything from now on. (Places vial dawn) HENRY. I don’t understand. STAN. Here it iy in nutshell, Henry. In taking Miss