In the opening chapter, Kalanithi described knowing medicine “only by its absence—

specifically, the absence of a father growing up.” Kalanithi’s father was a dedicated and kind
cardiologist who worked many hours. Does the practice of medicine require sacrifices—for
example, the marital bumps Kalanithi and his wife, Lucy, experienced? Can the practice of
medicine be isolating as well as rewarding?

- I believe that what “We only know medicine by its absence” mean is that _________.
Although I believe that what happened to Kalanithi and his father and to him and his
wife was pure incident. Like, I don’t think it was purely because they study Medicine.
Although it can be a part, yes, as studying medicine and becoming a nurse/ doctor takes
so many years, I still believe that it is more of the persons’ act that influences it hence
making it of either isolating or rewarding. Everything does need sacrifices on everything
they do, it is sometimes a small, sometimes a big sacrifice, but as a people with
sharpened/ shaped mind, we are there to ponder whether this sacrifice is worth it or
not.

Kalanithi wrote about working with a cadaver as a medical rite of passage. What do you think
of his description of this initiation?

- Before starting, a cadaver can also be described by the word “corpse.” Kalanithi writing
about working with a cadaver is for some, intriguing and gruesome, but I believe that it
is fine if; 1. They got consent on the family of the body owner before doing anything, 2.
If it used as an academic exercise. Although we can use mannequins for this, I believe
that studying the person as is, generates more plausible data that would make research
more factual or true-to-life. Also, it was mentioned in the book that while others are
making fun when they are doing the surgery practice, for him, it is more of a challenge
to

Kalanithi wrote, “Maybe in the absence of certainty, we should just assume that we’re going
to live a long time. Maybe that’s the only way forward.” Is denial also a form of hope?

- I believe that the quote means that the only way a person “live” is by not thinking of
what possible outcomes may sprout. I mean, all people would eventually die but a lot of
us enjoys it still, because we aren’t certain or sure when will it be. To answer the
question, I believe that denial is a form of hope but more of a false hope. Because,
denial can be subjected as lying to yourself, tho, you can have positive altitude with it, it
will not revoke the fact that something that is destined to happen, will happen.
Personally, I would not want to deny things just so I can get hope. Because I want to be
true to self and accept whatever is destined for me. Accept things that may sound
unacceptable, think things that may sound impossible, and all. This way, you will think
“ah, so this is my life now, and so be it!” if I can’t alter the past so be the future, so my
only hope is to continue living and less time zoning out thinking about the possible
“emotion-destructive” things.

Emma, Kalanithi’s oncologist, continued to ask Kalanithi to think about what was personally
important. Do you think experiencing cancer makes this question easier to answer?
 - I believe that experiencing cancer makes this question HARDER. Because you only have
some time left, you are up to clock, and so the decisions you make should be clear and is
the best for you and others. Unlike if you have no death date, you will simply choose
what makes you happy and most comfortable at and that is the thing that is most
important to you. Bu then if you have cancer, you will try your best to give the best
decision. I believe that no one will think that “AISH I’m dying, whatever. I don’t care
anymore” you know if you are a decent person, you would think of the person you will
live behind and at least, that way, you will be worthy of their memory.

Kalanithi wrote about the compelling elements of Christianity—sacrifice, redemption,

forgiveness—and the tension between mercy and justice. How do these themes play into
Kalanithi’s reasons for being a doctor?

- One of the reasons why Kalanithi become a doctor is “it presents the most challenging
meaning of identity and death”. I believe that these themes play in the way that in
performing surgeries such mistakes is formidable and that the compelling elements will
be present in here///////////

What do you do when you’re told to confront your own death? Explain.

- Everyone does confront their death right now, to be honest. Everyone here will
eventually die, sorry for the word but this is sadly true. If I ever is in the verge that was
the same as of Kalanithi, confronting my own death, I believe that I would do as to what
Kalanithi did, I would confront it and undergo the 5 stages of grief, but different to as
what Kalanithi did, mine will end on acceptance. “Denial → Anger → Bargaining →
Depression → Acceptance”
- I will accept it as no matter who am I, I am destined to someday ascend to something
no one can comprehend.

How do you handle the loss of all you’ve dreamed and what do you hope for when the future
you’ve imagined is no longer possible?

- I believe that I will handle the loss of what I’ve dreamed of in the way that firstly, I will
be frustrated. I mean, right now, I have a checklist of what I want to do as I grow older,
even some daydreams of what I am dreaming of, and it, vanishing on an instant would
make me frustrated, maybe even angry. TBH, I already felt what does it feel to lose
hope, I once lost hope on my skills as all of them are just shallow things. Like, oh so this
is the me, this is the farthest I can descend, this is the most I can do, and so be it. But
then, as time goes by, as thoughts go live, as I live being myself, I regain hope and hope
and I know that someday it may break or be loss again, but I’m proud that I was able to
retain it for some time.

What do you do when life is catastrophically interrupted?

 - For now, IDK. I never felt it so I can’t give an answer that good as to what Kalanithi’s
answer would most probably be. But if ever my life is catastrophically interrupted, I
might not be able to regain my strength again and the will to bring these feet. I mean,
let’s all be real, we can’t be ok /// Only interrupted, meaning it still has hope to continue

How would you describe Dr. Paul Kalanithi? What kind of a person was he?
- If I were to describe Dr. Paul Kalanithi, I would use the words, inspiring, brave,
intellectual, and the man I want myself to be.
One of the most profound questions addressed in this book is what makes life worth living in
the face of death. We all face death, but Paul Kalanithi knew his was imminent. What
answers, or at least consolations, does he find?
- Will to live to continue striving as a neurosurgeon, his family Lucy and Cady, the people
that still need him and the fact that living is not the end, it may be the beginning as well.

Kalanithi quotes Samuel Beckett's seven words: I can't go on. I'll go on." Talk about what that
means, not just for Paul Kalanithi but for all of us. In the face of dying, especially prolonged,
how does one "go on" or, in popular parlance, "keep on keeping on"?
- I believe that what someone go on is their will to live, their ambitions, their childhood
dreams, everything that makes them.
One of the ironies of Kalanithi's life is that he postponed learning how-to live-in order to
learn how to be a doctor. But once he knew he had lung cancer, he had to learn how to die.
What are the ways in which he learned to live...and learned to face his death? Would you be
as brave and thoughtful as Kalanithi was?
- Weirdly enough, I believe that Paul lived his because he’s dying. Like, before, yes, he
lives his life to the fullest, being a neurosurgeon, having lucy, having friends, partying,
and all. But, dying gave him a new reason as to why he should continue to live, and that
is to continue what he enjoys until his very last breath, before it become air. As to the
way he learned to face his death, he faced it by fighting and denying it but eventually
giving up because he realized that death is inevitable and his is just a little bit early if
compared to others. I can’t say that I will be as brave and as thoughtful as Kalanithi is,
but I believe that I maybe can do try the same as I may have done it on the past. When I
was battling my depression. While cancer is a bit incomparable to depression, it is still a
stage of life where people fight to live or accept what is destined to them.

Describe Kalanithi's love-hate relationship with medicine. He saw it as a job that kept his
cardiologist father away from home. But how else did he see it?
 - He sees medicine as to one of the reasons why he should continue striving to continue
living. Like, when he was asking Lucy and Emma of what he should do on the times that
he is regaining his strength from battling cancer, he got a lot of choices, such as being a
father, a writer, a bedridden man, or anything, but then he chose medicine to be the
path he wants to take before saying goodbye.
What kind of a doctor was Kalanithi? Why was he, even at a young age, able to understand
the needs of his patients more than so many other young doctors?
- I believe that what made Kalanithi greater than other young doctors is because he felt
what it feels like to be a patient. The pains he experienced, was more of a trial for him
to know what patients are really going through.
Kalanithi said that he acted in caring for his patients as "death's ambassador." "Those
burdens, he wrote, "are what makes medicine holy and wholly impossible." What does he
mean?
- He meant here that in taking up another’s cross, one must sometimes get crushed by
the weight. To elaborate, before taking up other peoples’ lives, figuratively and literally,
doctors like him do think and act as what patients might be doing as well. He should
understand this man’s identity, values, reasons to live and such. Like, we can’t get their
burden that easily, we must understand where they are coming from and what we can
do about it.
Once Kalanithi and his wife learned that he had terminal cancer, why did they decide to have
a child? Even Kalanithi wonders if having a child wouldn't make it harder to die. What would
you do?
- It will be a sad thing to leave Lucy with nothing. This child that he will be leaving Lucy
with can serve as a memento and a new reason for Lucy to continue living her life even
without his husband. He hopes that this way, he will make a change///

Describe Paul's career and how that impacted his diagnosis. Do you know someone with
cancer? If so, discuss the challenges they face mentally and emotionally. If not, discuss a
character in a movie or book.

- Paul’s career impacted his diagnosis in the way that he already knows such symptoms
and to what it will lead him. This may be a good thing for some, as you know it early, it
will be a “graveyard” thing as well because it is ironic that a doctor is the one that were
being cured of such illness. Most people with cancer face anxiety, distress, and
depression in mentally aspect and for emotionally, most of them sadness and
depression. Many people with cancer feel sad. They feel a sense of loss of their health,
and the life they had before they learned they had the disease. Even when you're done
with treatment, you may still feel sad.

How did Paul handle the inevitability of his death? What coping mechanisms did he utilize?
What advice would you have given Paul if you were a close friend? Explain your rationale.
 - His coping mechanism was to continue doing what he wants to do, which is being a
neurosurgeon. The coping mechanism he utilized was acceptance and I believe that it
was a good mechanism to adapt into. If I were a friend of Paul, I know that till to this
day, cancer has no cure so live your life to the fullest.///

Do you believe Lucy supported Paul after his diagnosis? Use specific scenes, quotes, or
narrations in your response.

- I believe that Lucy did supported Paul after his diagnosis. For instance, “LYING NEXT TO
LUCY in the hospital bed, both of us crying, the CT scan images still glowing on the
computer screen, that identity as a physician —my identity—no longer mattered.” In
this case, her being with him on his most sorrow times is consider as a support. The best
support anyone can give someone of the same situation. Her being with his side every
time he goes on check up and such just justifies that she really does love Paul even
though he got small time left.

What personal struggles was Lucy presented with throughout the story line? Do you believe
family members of cancer patients need support also? If you were a counselor, what type of
support would you suggest and why?

- One of the personal struggle Lucy faced is depression. She knows that someday, his
husband, Paul, will leave him, and for me, that is the saddest thing I’ve ever experience/
hear. I believe that everyone needs support, be it a normal citizen or family members of
cancer patients. If I were a counselor (continue living to the fullest, we can’t do anything
for now).

Describe and discuss Lucy's epilogue. Do you believe it was appropriate? Explain. What
revisions would you suggest? Why?

-
How would you (or will you) go about dying? How do you think of death—as something
distant, something frightening or horrible, as part of the normal spectrum of life, as a closing
of this chapter of your life and the opening of another? What comes to mind when you think
of your own demise?
- To be honest, I feel peace when I hear death. Like when I close my eyes, and thinking I’m
dead, I feel relax and normal. Maybe because when I was younger, I was so depressed
that I was asking God to take me now. That why am I still living? Why am I still here?
Maybe I felt that way because I already accepted my fate long ago and that what I’m
doing right now, is waiting for that moment to finally come.

How did Paul’s mother assist in his education when he was in school? Discuss how parental
support and the lack thereof can impact a child’s education? How would you encourage
parents to get involved in their child’s education?

- Mother wants the top school.

Discuss how Paul’s mother supported Paul, his wife and daughter. Who do you believe was
the strongest through the ordeal, Paul’s mother, or father? Explain.

- Paul’s mother supported Paul, his wife, and daughter in the way that, firstly, she went
with them on the infusion center together, driving him off to his appointments with
Emma, and more. I believe that the strongest through the ordeal was his father

What did you think of Paul's exploration of the relationship between science and faith? As
Paul wrote, "Science may provide the most useful way to organize empirical, reproducible
data, but its power to do so is predicated on its inability to grasp the most central aspects of
human life: hope, fear, love, hate, beauty, envy, honor, weakness, striving, suffering, virtue.
Between these core passions and scientific theory, there will always be a gap. No system of
thought can contain the fullness of human experience." Do you agree?

- Agree cause science is focused on facts rather than emotions (hope, love, etc…)

How do you think the years Paul spent, tending to patients and training to be a
neurosurgeon, affected the outlook he had on his own illness? When Paul wrote that the
question, he asked himself was not "why me," but "why not me," how did that strike you?
Could you relate to it?

- Affected him in the way that he understands his patients more. If not me, then who.

Paul had a strong background in the humanities and read widely throughout his life. Only
after getting a Master's in English Literature did, he decide that medicine was the right path
for him. Do you think this made him a better doctor? A different kind of doctor? If so, how?
How has reading influenced your life?

- More knowledge/ Communication skill with his patients

What did you think of Paul and Lucy's decision to have a child, in the face of his illness? When
Lucy asked him if he worried that having a child would make his death more painful, and Paul
responded, "Wouldn't it be great if it did," how did that strike you? Do you agree that life
should not be about avoiding suffering, but about creating meaning?

- Yes

Were there passages or sentences that struck you as particularly profound or moving? Cite
some and explain why. (Page 101)

- “What are you most afraid or sad about?” she asked me one night as we were lying in
bed. “Leaving you”
- “Don’t you think saying goodbye to your child will make your
death more painful?”
Given that Paul died before the book was finished, what are some of the questions you would
have wanted to ask him if he were still here today?

- How was the story published? Like, was he writing it this whole time while he was sick?
- What does it feel like being submerged on such darkness?
- Why did he continue living? Doesn’t he think that dying is simply easier?

Paul was determined to face death with integrity, and through his book, demystify it for
people. Do you think he succeeded?

- Yes. Gave another meaning as to what living really is and at to what extent would you
do just to continue doing your passion. “what gives life meaning?”

 Do you find When Breath Becomes Air enlightening, insightful, spiritual, maudlin

(nakakaiyak)? Would you describe it as an important book or merely interesting?
- Yes. Tho prefers adventure book; this one is a must and interesting as it gives you the
hope and reason why you should continue living …
Define memoir and discuss why Paul wrote When Breath Becomes Air. Could you write a
memoir under the circumstances? Why or why not?
- Memoir - a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special
sources. Paul wrote to give his own meaning what life and living is. Yes because memoir
heavily depends on the writers’ freedom of speech and his story.

Discuss Paul's relationship with his father when he was a child. Compare and contrast their
parent/child relationship with your parent/guardian. Discuss similarities and differences with
your shoulder partner.

- When he was a child, his father is busy that he grows independence.

What type of bedside manner did Paul's father have as a physician? Did Paul admire or
despise his father's approach? Explain. Discuss what impact this had on Paul's interaction
with patients.

A parent is not supposed to bury their child. Discuss this statement as it relates to how Paul's
father handled his death.

- In life, it is most expected for a child to bury their parents because of the age difference.
But on this story, it was the opposite.
Describe and discuss the characteristics Paul learned from his mother. Do you believe a
mother of mother figure’s love is necessary for an individual to thrive? Explain.

In Lucy's epilogue, she writes that "what happened to Paul was tragic, but he was not a
tragedy." Did you come away feeling the same way?

- Yes, he’s not a tragedy because he was able to enjoy his life until his very last breath. He
was able to give Lucy a kid, live his dream, doing surgeries etc. Tragedy because he was
killed slowly and painfully.

How did this book impact your thoughts about medical care? The patient-physician
relationship? End of life care?

- Impact in the way that everyone still needs care, be it the care-giving personnels such as
doctor/ nurse/ etc… Patient-physician relationship – doctors do all for their patients, get
close, do cry if failed.

Is this a book you will continue thinking about, now that you are done? Do you find it having
an impact on the way you go about your days?

- Yes, I think if I were able asked about what I think of death, this book will have a glimpse
on my mind and therefore …

Lucy also writes that, in some ways, Paul's illness brought them closer - that she FELL feel
even more deeply in love with the "beautiful, focused man" he became in the last year of his
life. Did you find yourself seeing how that could happen?

- Yes cause more time for them to be together

 If Paul had an EGFR mutation, how much longer might he live?

- He would have lived by another year and enjoyed life sheeee

In what Shakespearean play did the character Gloucester complain about human fate?

- At the Shakespearean play titled “King’s Lear”

In Part 2, Section 4, how did Emma make her pronouncement about how much time Paul had
left?

- She said it directly but with no authoritative tone. I believe that she didn’t do well
because she should’ve atleast said it with confidence for Paul to have hope. But at the
same time, I don’t agree as it is a false hope sheeeeee
After Paul's cancer diagnosis and beginning treatment in Part 2, Section 1, how did he spend
the bulk of his week?