NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE

NEGOTIATING AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

Chris Voss

The same techniques used for high-stakes

your salary to buying your house.

NEGOTIATION STRATEGIES & TIPS

HYPOTHESIZE; DON’T ASSUME LISTEN FULLY DON’T RUSH

Prepare various hypotheses of
what the other party wants & test
surprises.
Establish Rapport
When your counterpart is Slow down, listen, validate their
speaking, stop your internal feelings and make them feel safe
to talk about what they want.

The more the other party

USE THE RIGHT TONE
have to build rapport &
Relax, smile, and use the
uncover their wants.
“late-night FM DJ voice”.
PAUSE & ENCOURAGE USE MIRRORING
Use silence/pauses, and simple Imitate the other person’s speech
phrases (“Yes”, “OK, “I see”) to
encourage others to talk. the last 3 words or 1-3 key words.

ACCUSATION AUDIT TACTICAL EMPATHY VALIDATE WITH LABELING

from the other side. Label
upfront to diffuse them.
= understanding others
(even if you don’t agree
with them). When you’re
more, so you know what
When you can label someone’s feelings,
it shows you understand how they feel.
with “It seems like…”, “It looks like….” or Show Empathy

feelings amplifies them.

“NO” ≠ REJECTION “NO” “YES” GETTING RESPONSES

“No” may not be an outright The ability to say “No” makes Nudge someone to say “No” by
Create Safety people feel safe and in control. mislabeling or asking what they
with “No” Once they say “No”, you can move don’t want. If someone has been
to the real issues. Ask: “What ignoring you, get a response with a
Pushing for a “Yes” too fast about this doesn’t work for you?”
can create distrust. To move or “How could we make this suggests you’re ready to walk away.
things forward, invite people work?”.
to say “No”.

USE A SUMMARY BEWARE “YOU’RE RIGHT”

Summary = Paraphrase + Label. Listen carefully, These 2 words mean the person is just
and summarize what the other person thinks/feels. agreeing so you’ll shut up, and nothing “That’s Right”
When people feel understood and affirmed, they will change. Aim to get to these 2 magic
words, as they can transform

MANAGE TIME SHOW FAIRNESS BEND THEIR REALITY

People will reject an offer if they Show that your proposal gives
deal. Don’t be rushed into a feel they’re unfairly treated. Set what they want, and they have
decision. the stage to be seen as a fair something real to lose without
Shape Reality the deal.
Find & use leverage to get
extreme anchor.
the best possible deal.
Don’t make the 1st offer (or set a
Never split the difference. range if you go first).
Go beyond money, use odd
figures, throw in a .

USE CALIBRATED QUESTIONS ENSURE EXECUTION

GET A BETTER DEAL
Use these to move from dispute to Make sure you have a real deal that’ll
be executed.
other party to counter-propose
ask “how” or “what”, e.g. “How
Ask “ to engage, Create an Illusion
am I supposed to do that?”
create ownership of the become progressively firmer of Control
move the
with your “Nos”. Nudge others to reach the
discussion toward your goal, but Ensure you’re reaching all the
let them think it’s their choice. decision-makers. conclusion you want,
Use a . thinking it’s their
Put aside your ego/ need to be Watch for signs of discomfort or
right. lies,

NEGOTIATION STYLES TAKING PUNCHES

Know how to handle Analysts, Accomodators, Others can use the techniques above on you
they want too. Have your responses ready.
to be treated.

Prepare Yourself
Be prepared to bargain
hard with seasoned BREAKING AN IMPASSE AKERMAN PLAN
If your aim is to get to the middle ground, this
statements” to break an impasse. Be ready to plan predictably achieves that goal.
walk away from a bad deal.

LEVERAGE KNOW THEIR WORLDVIEW FINDING UNKNOWNS

= your ability to give what the Put yourself in others’ shoes,
other party wants, or remove and consider info gaps, observe unguarded moments,
what they value. Consider your constraints and unknown and probe with calibrated
Find the Black
interests. Highlight common Swans
leverage. ground, and show you can help Find unexpected or hidden
them achieve their dreams &
info that can change
goals.
your results.

THE 1-PAGE NEGO SHEET

Consider the best and Summarize (in a couple List all possible Develop 3-5 calibrated non-cash items
worstcase scenarios. Write of sentences) the facts & write down 3-5 labels for for the value of that you’d want.
down 1 best-case goal. that have led to the each. your offer & deal-breakers.
.

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