IT’

S ALL ABOUT
THE HEART

ATALIA SCHUSTER
Il
lustrated by
GyöngyiBal ogh
TABLE OF CONTENTS

1 THE FAI
TH OFMY PARENTS

2 PI
ECESOFTHE PUZZLE

3 THE BRI
GHT SI
DE

4 THE J
OURNEY STARTS

5 A LESSON OFFAI
TH AND I
TSTEST

6 THE HEART

7 RECOVERY AND A NEW PERSPECTI

VE

8 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
 THE FAITH OF MY PARENTS

Bible Verses of this Chapter

Psalm 139:1-18

“Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my
heart and soul, and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. You are so
intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m
about to speak before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey
even begins. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past. You have laid your hand on me! This is just too wonderful,
deep, and incomprehensible! Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength. Where
could I go from your Spirit? Where could I run and hide from your face? If I go up to heaven,
you’re there! If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too! If I fly with wings into the
shining dawn, you’re there!If I fly into the radiant sunset, you’re there waiting!Wherever I go, your
hand will guide me;your strength will empower me.It’s impossible to disappear from youor to ask
the darkness to hide me, for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.There is no
such thing as darkness with you.The night, to you, is as bright as the day;there’s no difference
between the two.You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate insideand my intricate
outside,and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so
mysteriously complex!Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking.It simply amazes me to think
about it!How thoroughly you know me, Lord!You even formed every bone in my bodywhen you
created me in the secret place; carefully, skillfully you shaped me from nothing to something.You
saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day,the number
of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Every single moment you are
thinking of me!How precious and wonderful to considerthat you cherish me constantly in your
every thought!O God, your desires toward me are morethan the grains of sand on every
shore!When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.”

In 1993, before I was born, my parents Otto and Erzsébet had five children.
The first four were girls: my sisters Genoveva, Elfriede, Rosemarie, Linda and the
fifth was finally a boy, my brother Jonathan. My father wanted a boy for a long time
but everyone was happy that the fifth child was finally a boy. They lived in a small
city in the heart of Transylvania, named Sighișoara. They moved there from Oradea
two years before, because my father was asked to serve there in the local church and
he accepted. He was not an ordinary man of God, he was different, very open to what
God was always telling and revealing to him. He had a strong relationship with God
and raised all their kids in God`s way. My mother, a strong woman, was by his side
and supported him in his journey with God in good and bad.
That year, my mother was pregnant with me, their sixth child. In April, when I
was born, they found out it`s another girl. In that time, they didn`t know the gender
of the baby beforehand.
This time, their faith was put on trial because when I was born, I had several
serious health issues. In those times, my family went through a hard season anyway
and my father while he was studying the Bible dictionary, found a name, which
meaning reflected what they were facing in those times. This name was Atalia: God
is strong, God is majestic/royal, God is generous, and God is testing. Their faith was
strongly tested and their journey with me started, but in the same time they also
experienced that God was with them in a mighty and majestic way, being very
generous to them.
In the beginning, the doctor told my parents I had severe jaundice, right when I
was born. In my first year of my life, I was diagnosed with a few more health issues
like congenital hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, aortic stenosis, ventricular
septal defect and had two surgeries because I had inguinal hernia. Doctors had told
my parents lots of bad news and they were overwhelmed with them. Because of the
aortic stenosis, doctors suggested my parents a surgery on my heart, telling them that
with all the conditions that I had, I probably won`t be able to live long if they don`t
do it or even if I would survive, I would be forced to use a wheelchair. I will not have
a normal life, like other children because of learning problems and developing issues,
having always delayed cognitive function. It was the moment when my father,
together with my mother had to face a hard decision. They chose not to accept the
surgery and neither believe in what the doctors were telling them because they
believed that even if probably scientifically it was so, God is beyond science. He can
heal me and I can grow up normal without any of what doctors were telling them. It
was a hard season which lasted years with frequent doctor appointments, weeks of
being hospitalized with my mother. My father was often alone at home with my other
siblings. Many times he had to ask friends or relatives to take care of the other five
children, while he took my mother with me in the hospital or different other doctor
appointments in Sighișoara, Târgu Mureș, Cluj Napoca, Timișoara, București and
other cities in the country. Unfortunately, sometimes they even experienced lack of
care from the doctors because they didn`t want to give bribery. Other times we
experienced poor behavior from the nurses.
I remember at around the age of six when I was hospitalized with my mother,
for some reason, I needed to get shots in my back and the nurses were almost
shouting to me to relax because they couldn`t give the shot. After they tried for a few
times, the nurse started to speak in a threatening way to me. This made the situation
even worse. At the end, they called another nurse and somehow they managed to
give me the shot. This was only one example of what I remember from my time in
the hospitals. Luckily for me, I was too young to remember all of them.
Few months later, when I started school, my parents explained to my teacher
some of my health problems, so that she would be aware of them. In the first grade, I
wasn`t allowed to get the vaccines the others got in school, because of the problems I
had before starting school. Although two years later, in the third grade, we got three
and since I was so used to a lot of shots, it was not a big deal for me and I didn`t want
to skip these, showing that I was normal like any other, ready to have the same
treatment like the others in my class. In the same time, I wanted to show that I am
strong and courageous and they always picked me between the first ones to
encourage the others as well. I had a great teacher in my first four years, who always
motivated me to show what is inside of me, she challenged me to discover myself
and supported me every time when I needed it, even after I finished the fourth grade
and had new teachers.
Although probably not every medical experience was negative, it marked me
negatively. As I started to understand the things that happened with me and my
health issues, a fear and reluctance toward doctors and everything that included them
started to materialize. I even stopped taking my thyroid pills intentionally, believing
that God would protect me and heal me without those pills. My parents tried to
explain to me, why it was important taking them but it was in vain. I didn`t want to
take them anymore. I didn`t want to hear anything regarding medical stuff.
I started to grow up, my parent`s faith started to have visible fruits regarding
my health. I was still alive without any surgery on my heart, my medical situation got
better and learning was not an issue for me. As soon as I was able to speak, my father
started to teach me to declare positive things about me. With his help, I daily
declared over my life that I was the most beautiful, healthy, smart and strong girl and
some other positive things. I started to really believe in those things and God made
miracles in my life.
The declarations changed my life positively. I started to love to read, to learn
new things, especially if I was interested in something. My physical strength was
growing and I started to make it better and better by training myself with push-ups
and lots of exercises. I was the only girl in our family who was able to do push-ups.
With time I enjoyed more and more that I was able to help with carrying heavy
things, when needed. At one point, I was known as the one who they could always
count on when physical strength was needed. I loved doing the hard levels of the
adventure park obstacle courses.
One time, when I was already a teen, I remember I had to go to a doctor’s
appointment again for a regular check-up. We met a doctor who knew me since I was
little. When she saw me, she was amazed to see me again and admitted that she was
surprised to see me in a good shape. God has been with me and was strengthening me
in all means, including my faith. All through the years, I always thanked God for
what He did in my life. In the Bible, more exactly in Matthew 10:8 it says:
“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely
as you have received!”
One time, my father, my oldest sister and I visited one of our family friends.
My father helped them with setting their computer as he was always good in this and
many called him for help. Before we left, the wife asked us to pray for her as she was
diagnosed with cancer. Specifically, she asked me to pray for her. I don`t know why
me, but I didn`t ask, just obeyed and prayed. After a few months, she visited us,
saying that she has good news for us. After a doctor appointment, they told her she
was healed. The presence of God touched me deeply the moment I heard this and I
was again so thankful to God. This great testimony strengthened my faith even more
and encouraged me to continue help with praying or anything else as the Bible in
Hebrews 10:24 says:
“Discover creative ways to encourage others and to motivate them toward acts of
compassion, doing beautiful works as expressions of love.”
God kept blessing me with wonderful experiences through healings, worship
nights in His presence, revelations, and more testimonies from people, miracles in the
family and other countless experiences. In 2009, I finally got to be baptized, together
with a friend of ours and Agnes, who became my sister. In that time with her joining
our family, we became a family of ten.
 PIECES OF THE PUZZLE

Bible Verses of this Chapter

Hebrews 11:1:
“Now faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire
the things we long for. It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen”.

James 1:4:
“And then as your endurance grows even stronger, it will release perfection into every
part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking”.

Proverbs 4:23:
“So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay
attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life”.

In the following years, growing up, I was happy that I finally could decide
about my life more than before. This meant I wouldn`t want to go intentionally to
doctors. However, because I still was in school, sometimes I needed medical
certificates for different reasons. In those instances, I had to go to the family
doctor, so one time she didn`t want to give me a certificate without consulting me
first. That`s when she realized I had high blood pressure, so she sent me to a
cardiologist in the city. That time I was in the last school year, which meant we
had classes when we were preparing for the final exam. I went with the reference
ticket to the clinic where I had to go but because the doctor was not there that day;
the nurse asked me some questions, which answers were actually clear because it
was written on that reference ticket so I was a little bit confused about what I
should say in that case. The nurse gave me a new date when to go because she
couldn`t do anything without the doctor. I was scheduled for the next day from 9
am. Exactly that day, I had the prep classes for geography at 10 am and I really
loved that subject. I wanted to be present for that class. I hurried to be on time to
the appointment to the cardiologist but somebody else was already inside. I thought
that I can wait a little bit because I knew that I needed only 20 minutes from there
to the school. I waited until they opened the door and the patient came out, but
instead of letting me go in, they called somebody else and after that one, another
person. It was already half past nine. I knew there was no more time for me to
wait, not even if they would call me in, in order to arrive in time back to school so
I left the clinic. I called my sister Friede, telling her to let the family doctor know
that I won`t go to the doctor anymore. I perceived this as another bad doctor
experience, not knowing about how these things were working.
I remember that my family doctor wanted to give me a medical certificate to
spare me attending physical education in high school, which I didn`t want. She
insisted a few times, knowing that I often had high blood pressure. But P.E. was
one of the few subjects where a student could get a higher grade and grow the
overall grade for the end of the year that is why I wouldn’t give up on that, no
matter what, especially because I loved sports. The only thing what annoyed me,
was not being able to run like the others. When we had to run in P.E., I was always
the last one because I stopped a lot of times. Also, I hated basketball or sports that
included a ball, but I still always participated. My favorite sport in school was
gymnastics, in which I was pretty good.
I reached to a point where I really avoided needing to go for consultations
and wished to never have that need, but somehow deep down, I knew that I should
go, but those thoughts and feelings were always drowned. I didn`t really knew my
deep motivation why am I avoiding them, always thought that going to the doctor
is a bad thing and avoiding them it`s the best thing I could do.
 With time, I started to have bad habits, taking poor decisions regarding my
life, especially regarding my health. I didn`t feel any pain for years so I thought I
can live however I want because I won`t be affected. First, I started to constantly
not sleep enough in the night, eating very greasy, very salted or with many spices
and lots of fried things, also never caring of how much and what I ate. I also didn`t
drink enough water and a lot of times, I realized in the evening that I haven`t been
drinking all day, not even a cup of water. As I also mentioned before, physical
efforts were normal for me, kind of a hobby. I was present at every opportunity of
helping lifting heavy things and everything that was hard. I didn`t realize that with
these decisions, I was taking God`s miracles for granted, healing and blessing me,
being able to have physical strength and everything else. My family, friends and
others tried to warn me sometimes but I didn`t take them serious. My oldest sister
tried to tell me that at least I should go to a cardiologist, but I always strongly
denied the need and rejected her advice.
My relationship with God in this time was pretty silent. I knew He was
always by my side, but didn`t experience Him a lot. Once in a while, there were
special events of worship or teachings, where I was very thankful and blessed. But
I knew that there is more than what I experienced in those times. I knew that it has
to be something that doesn`t go away over the night. Because I hungered and
thirsted all over again, longing for more of Him, feeling empty and alone, although
He was always there. I knew that the Bible says in John 6:38: “Jesus said to them, I
am the Bread of Life. Come every day to me and you will never be hungry. Believe in me and you
will never be thirsty” and in John 4:13-14: “Jesus answered, If you drink from Jacob`s well,
you`ll be thirsty again, but if anyone drinks the living water I give them, they will never be thirsty
again. For when you drink the water I give you, it becomes a gushing fountain of Holy Spirit,
flooding you with endless life”.
 I felt that something was missing, something that I couldn`t understand, so I
didn’t live according to what Jesus promised us. I was confident in my faith in
Jesus, but needed to experience more of what it is like to live as a believer and
follower of Him and always wanted to reflect Jesus in my life. In 2011 we
officially opened the gates of the new place where our church was taken place. We
prayed over the place and over all the people who would come. In this time, God
gave me a vision that never came out of my mind. Unfortunately, I didn`t write it
down, which means I forgot some little details but not the idea of it. That vision
gave me motivation and a direction to go on because the next year, I had to choose
where and what to study. God reminded me of the vision and in this way I ended
up studying social work. My prayer to God was that He would open doors for me
to get close to what He wanted me to do, however and wherever He wanted me to
do it.
Then the year came when I went to college in Oradea. I visited a church that
was very good because there were a lot of youth groups and each group had a
leader. I really was blessed with my group and my leader, who started to highlight
my gifts, my strengths, and my heart. She started to see the value in all of us and
we discussed a lot of things as a group but also one by one. After two and a half
years, I started to visit another church too, where I changed a lot. A lot of things
changed of how I believed them to be, regarding Jesus and who He is. A lot of
boundaries fell down and I started to experience Jesus differently, the One who is
Love, and the One who is Grace with no conditions. This helped me in my
relationships with other people too, to not judge them, no matter what their belief,
faith, and situation of life was. My heart changed and although I knew that there is
even more than that, I was very blessed that God opened my eyes to see everybody
like He sees them. This helped me to be open minded and to not decline new ideas
without even meditating about them and to accept and respect everybody even if I
don`t agree with them. I was thankful and blessed living in Oradea for five years,
learning a lot of things for my soul and spirit.
After one year of college, I moved from a student's dorm to an apartment
with the two sisters I was together in the first year. One night I experienced
something I will never forget. I woke up with a huge heartache. It felt like
somebody was stabbing me with a sharp sword and even breathing hurt, every little
move. I was like forced to not move and not breathe at all, as if somebody would
have threatened me with a gun if I would move. It was not somebody, but the pain
that last for almost half an hour. I never experienced something like that before and
I didn`t know what I should do. I was scared and shocked of what happened to me.
I didn`t know from where it came or what to do to prevent it from not happening
again. First, I thought it was the position I was sleeping, because it was an
expandable couch so I opened it to have more space. I couldn`t find out because
for a while,the pain didn`t come back, at least not like that. But that night was the
first of many bigger and smaller heartaches that I felt once in a while. Some were
longer, some shorter, but it always felt like the first one but with a different level of
intensity and duration.
Not even these heartaches didn`t make me go to the doctor. And because I
didn`t want to go to the doctor, I never told anybody of what was happening. I
didn`t want anyone to start to worry for me or to nag me all the time to go to a
doctor. I just started to live with them and enduring them every time it happened.
When it happened at home, somehow I always managed to hide it so they wouldn`t
realize what am I going through in those moments. It was not always easy but I
was so determined to keep it a secret that I did everything to not let them notice.
This meant that sometimes when I felt that it gets more intense and I wouldn`t be
able to hide it, I left the room and went either in my room or in the bathroom. In a
weird way, it never happened when I was doing physical effort, not even when we
went to adventure parks or when we went on long hikes in the mountains, which
were always our favorite things to do starting spring to end of fall.
Meanwhile, my best friend, ever since we were little, started to learn as a
nurse and attended nurse classes in the city that`s very well known in our country
as being a medical city, which is Târgu Mureș. Knowing she will become a nurse,
it was pretty hard sometimes to keep my well-kept secret because we always talked
about everything possible going on in our lives and families. But the desire to keep
this as a secret was big enough to not tell her, partly because I didn`t want her to
tell my family. My years in college came near to the end and my little secret was
still safe. Somehow, I didn`t even talk with God about it, as if I could keep the
secret even from Him.
One time, we were told at the College that we have to go to the University
doctor before our graduation. I wasn`t happy about that at all and I was anxious
thinking about all the things they could tell me if they would discover something
that`s not right with me. Some of my classmates went in together with me and the
doctor started to measure our blood pressure. When he saw my blood pressure, all
he could say was that if it would be after his will, he would call the ambulance to
take me to the hospital. Having high blood pressure was for me nothing new
anymore so I told him, that is was my normal, that I don`t have any problems and
that I wouldn`t need to see the doctor. He gave us the paper we needed and I
escaped with just him telling me that I would need to go to the hospital, which I
didn`t do, of course.
Even though I was aware of the fact that I have heartache sometimes, it
didn`t change anything in my lifestyle. I still had a bad habit of sleeping, going late
to bed and waking up very late. This went on for two years, while I was doing my
Masters degree, where classes always started in the afternoon. During my last
months in Oradea, I was faced with a dilemma of choosing to stay there or go back
home. I always loved Oradea and called it as my second home. I was thinking a lot
about it, asking for advice, writing pro and contra arguments and praying to get
help of deciding what I should do. In this time, I received a phone call for a job as
a social worker but because I was at home during that time and couldn`t go quickly
to the interview, they found somebody else. The church I was visiting there closed
so these things were clear signs for me from God that it means I should go back
home because without a job in the field I learned and without the church that I was
visiting, I didn`t want to stay there.
After spending the summer at home, traveling like we used to, I started to
work at our family`s foundation where I was responsible to lead kids programs like
puppet theater, crafts or creative games for kids. It was not exactly the dream job
or what God showed me in that vision, but I loved the kids and seeing them
interested in these activities and having an impact on them, made me feel blessed.
It was the best for me for that time and I was glad, even when there were hard
times. We organized lots of special events for the kids as well, for which the
parents were always thankful to us, knowing that their kids are busy with healthy
things, not just TV or staying on their phones. I also started tutoring a young boy
because the parents wanted him to learn German.
That year, in fall, we started to attend worship nights. We were invited by a
group of special people moved recently in the city. They were a family of six,
another young couple and two young ladies, representing an organization that was
doing missions. There main base was in Mexico. Every Friday we went to their
rented house, and praised Jesus together with a few other friends and people from
the city. There I got to know this couple, Jim and Becky, with their kids, Jonathon,
Brooklyn, Kerrington and Harrison. The first time I went there, they were so
friendly with us, very eager to know us better, always paying attention to us. They
started to introduce us to something different, something that took me out of my
comfort zone. Every time we split in groups, one of them was there and we were
talking about the highlights and lowlights of our week. In the beginning it was so
hard for me to reflect about my week and to understand how I experienced those
things, because I was not used to something like that. I started to recognize the
things I could be thankful for and the things where I needed prayer or realizing the
lessons I could learn. After a while, we got to also know the leaders of the Mission.
God blessed our city with The Mission because what they carry in their heart
is something different that we were used to. They didn`t come to give material
things to the poor communities, they came to give love to the people in need, to the
kids in our communities. In the beginning, they worked in a gypsy neighborhood in
our city until they were ready to move in the building God showed them and
prepared for them, which was one of the biggest buildings in the city, an old
factory. After a few months, I was invited to work for them part-time as a social
worker, because they knew that I was already working full time at our foundation.
I accepted because I felt that I wanted to be part of what God was doing through
them in the city.
My family developed a beautiful and close relationship with Jim and
Becky`s family and though they moved in another city, we always stayed in touch
with them, visiting each other. God blessed me and my family with their
relationship and I couldn`t imagine my life without them anymore. Their way of
loving people was different than any other I met before. How they were serving
people just by loving and always seeing them, highlighting the values they saw in
everyone and always reminding people that they are special no matter what. They
are doing such a great job reflecting Jesus on earth, making disciples and
empowering people to believe that they are also capable of what they are called
for. God knew that I had to be at home so I can get to know them very close.
 At the Mission, we got to know a lot of new people and experience different
things. We had so many new relationships and so many beautiful things to do to
help people. What the Mission is carrying in their heart is something special and
God is continually blessing them. One time, I was able to help with the process of
a young girl that was part of the programs, to prevent the child protection to divide
the family. We visited kids from other surrounded villages as well, signing them up
in the programs and starting morning school for those who never attended school
or stopped attending for different reasons.
My life got really busy, working in the morning at the Mission and at our
foundation in the afternoon. I didn`t have time for myself or to spend time alone
with God because even if I had some time, I spent it doing other activities with my
family, like visiting friends and relatives, playing, watching TV, taking care of the
new puppy I got for my birthday, because my other dog passed away the year I
came home from Oradea. Everything else became a priority, neglecting the time I
needed for myself, to reflect on my life, my dreams, my needs and the most
important, my relationship with Jesus. This doesn’t mean that my life was not good
or that I wasn’t happy. I was very thankful, blessed and loved by very special
people. God was with me and worked through me and in me. I learned new things
and experienced beautiful things with my family and friends, at home, at work,
traveling and so many other blessings. As an active member of the church, I was
part of so many beautiful testimonies and was taught important life lessons. We
had connection groups and I joined the most special connection group with
precious people. My life was beautiful; I just missed out something that could
make it even better, towards spiritual growth and life in abundance that God
promised us. There was still a wall in my life that needed to be crushed down,
metaphorically spoken. I was praying and waiting for God to show me what I was
missing.
 THE BRIGHT SIDE

Bible verse of this chapter

Romans 8:28:
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who
love God and are called according to His purpose for them”.

The year 2020 was a year that nobody will ever forget because it marked the
whole earth. A very serious virus spread quickly all over the world and in a few
weeks, it turned in a pandemic that put every country in lockdown to avoid
spreading it as much as possible. Its symptoms were similar to flu, but in some
cases it got worse. With time more people caught it and the hospitals started to be
filled. During this time, there were a lot of arguments between the people who
didn`t believe that the virus was something very dangerous and the ones who took
it very seriously.
Just before the lockdown started, my cousin Mira came to visit us for a
while, not knowing what was to come. As the lockdown started, she was stuck in
our home. I couldn`t work at our foundation with the kids, but I was able to
continue my part-time work at the Mission in the office. This was my only activity
during the day, then I went back home. In order to avoid people as much as
possible, my father was always taking us to work and then picking us up with the
car. Church and connection groups stopped taking place in person. The Mission
started to record Church for online streaming so that people could connect through
social media. Connection groups also continued through online zoom calls.
Nothing could stop us to stay connected with our Church family. The leaders had
also this great idea to record an encouraging word for the family and those who
followed the Mission on social media.
 Our daily activities changed a lot because we couldn’t meet with friends
anymore so we had to be creative and find activities that would fill the free time
we suddenly had. Fortunately for us, we live very close to a forest we never visited
before. Every time when someone wanted to go outside, they had to show a
declaration with the reasons they have to be outside. I had one for work and one for
walking the dog, because it was the only reason we could go on a walk. We started
to walk in the forest almost every day. Most of the times, it was only us, a few
times we saw other people passing by, rarely close enough to be able to speak to
them. It’s very interesting that exactly in that year we had a very warm sunny
spring, which allowed us to have a lot of outdoor activities.
One time, my cousin Mira, wanted to read outside and enjoy the fresh air.
My brother Jonathan gave her the idea to sit in his car and have a more
comfortable way to read, but at the same time be outside. The car was warmed up
from the sun, but protected from the wind or any other disturbing things. It was a
very good idea so I also started to use his car for reading. While reading next to
Mira, sometimes we ended up talking to each other, discussing all kind of things.
We turned that place into a place of deep talks with her and sometimes my sister
Linda. My sister Rose joined us a few times and one time she named the car
“heavenly car”, because of the great things we did there. We read the Bible, talked
about personal things and life experiences with God, worshiped God and so on.
Sometimes I called other friends or my cousin Rachel and we encouraged each
other and talked a lot about our experiences with God.
In this time, many Christian organizations started to have online events so
people could still stay connected. One of these was Youth with a Mission (YwaM)
Cluj Napoca, where Jim and Becky served. They started to have worship nights
every Tuesday evening, streaming it live on social media. I started to join them
from the first time I discovered it and it was a great opportunity to stay connected
with people and to worship God together.
In the meantime, we heard a lot of sad stories about people going to the
hospital. Many people who didn`t have the virus, ended up being very sick. I don`t
really want to address this topic, because I know a very sad story that involves a
person very close to me, which made me even more reluctant regarding hospitals,
healthcare and everything medical. I also started to avoid conversations about this
problem because I saw that it brought division among people. I like to respect
people and I seek peace and unity. I had a point of view about this topic and I
expressed it to those who were asking, but sometimes the conversations were
leading in a direction that brought up strife or unhealthy disagreements, so I tried
to deviate from the subject and if I couldn`t do it, I just left the conversation.
In an interesting way,the lockdown season was a blessing for me personally.
I started to learn to appreciate people/connections and relationships more. I could
spend more time with my dog, focus on my needs and build a stronger relationship
with God. I started to write down my thoughts, starting with 100 dreams or wishes
regarding family, work, personal life, hobbies and so on. This helped me
understand the things I want to reach in my life, to have a purpose and specific
goals. I started reading books, that taught me new things about personal
development. My colleagues at work also recommended me good books about
courage and being vulnerable and how it changes the way we live and love; new
methods of raising kids and how to work with them.
Every morning before we started work, we had a time for devotionals with a
little bit of worship and an encouraging word. One morning, a very special and
anointed worshiper, sang a song that moved me deeply and pressed a button in my
heart. It just resonated with me completely. The lyrics of the song:
You go before I know
That You've even gone to win my war
You come back with the head of my enemy
You come back and You call it my victory,
oh-ooh
You go before I know
That You've even gone to win my war
Your love becomes my greatest defense
It leads me from the dry wilderness
And all I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still
Hallelujah, You have saved me
So much better Your way
Hallelujah, great Defender
So much better Your way
You know before I do
Where my heart can seek to find Your truth
Your mercy is the shade I'm living in
And You restore my faith and hope again
And all I did was praise,
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still
When I thought I lost me
You knew where I left me
You reintroduced me to Your love
You picked up all my pieces
Put me back together
You are the defender of my heart

I realized that I was lost, that something that I was always missing started to bloom
and it was the start of a beautiful journey, where I began to realize what were the
pieces that were missing. That moment, He reintroduced me to His love and
gathered all the lost pieces. He started something new, something that had its
purpose to defend my heart. God also highlighted to me another song that brought
me closer to reveal my secret. We watched Aladdin and there was this song
“Speechless” that caught my attention:

“Here comes a wave meant to wash me Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say
away My voice drowned out in the thunder
A tide that is taking me under But I won't cry
And I won't start to crumble Try to lock me in this cage
Whenever they try I won't just lay me down and die
To shut me or cut me down I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky
Written in stone Hear the echo saying:
Every rule, every word
Centuries old and unbending I won't be silenced
"Stay in your place" You can't keep me quiet
"Better seen and not heard" Won't tremble when you try it
But now that story is ending All I know is I won't go speechless
'Cause I 'Cause I'll breathe
I cannot start to crumble When they try to suffocate me
So come on and try Don't you underestimate me
Try to shut me and cut me down 'Cause I know that I won't go speechless

This is just another song that encouraged me in this season as I started to get
deeper in my relationship with Jesus. Jesus revealed to me that this song applies to
me in the spiritual realm. The enemy tries to hide what is inside of me, to shut me
down when there is something to be told. Realizing that this is an evil plan of the
enemy, I remembered one of my favorite Bible verses that says:
“But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each
other, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin”

This is when I understood how important it is to take a new step.

One day, I asked Becky if she would be willing to have a phone
conversation with me. She accepted, so I asked my family to give me some privacy
while I was in the “heavenly car” because I wanted to be alone. So we started to
speak on the phone and I felt a huge urge to tell her about my heartaches. I told her
that she was the first person who knew about this and she prayed for me, to have
courage and for a perfect opportunity to tell my family. This marked the beginning
of a new journey, of which I wasn`t aware in that moment. God was using her to
unlock a key in my heart that was closed for a very long time.
During this lockdown season, our family was having a family meeting
almost every evening, where we talked about things that were going on in the
family, shared experiences or revelations, shared prayer requests if we had one and
we always closed with prayer. The day I talked with Becky, I decided that I will
share my secret to my family and I did. To my surprise, they had a positive
reaction, much better than I expected. Here I started to learn that it`s not good to
imagine how others would react.
In the following time, the Lord started to pour out His presence on me,
giving me lots of revelations, prophetic words, encouraging words and I started to
see their meaning and sense for my life. I started to read a devotional from the
Passion Translation, which was always uplifting. Here are a few of the writings
that talked to my heart, messages from God to me personally:
“My love restores you! Do not be afraid to follow me into the unknown, for I am the One
who leads you and restores your life. I have placed my glorious treasure within you, and I care
for you. This year will be a year of restoration in your life. You will be restored in my love,
strengthened in my grace and surrounded with songs of joy. I will restore you. Never limit me….
All will know that I am the One who gives back what has been lost”.
“I want you to dance upon the ashes. Every place where the enemy has come against you
is a place for future victory, a stage set for you to sing of my triumphant love, a launching pad
into my magnificent restoration. Every trauma can be turned into a place of exorbitant strength
when you invite me into your pain”.
These are just some words I received through the Passion Translation
devotionals. I also got specific words from some men of God from Oradea, without
them knowing what I was going through lately. God has perfect timing. I
understood that God wanted me to let go of everything that I was holding on
tightly and to start holding onto Him.

“I saw you on a rope trying to get through but then God showed me that there is a zip
line. He wants you to go with a zip line, which is easy to pass. The road is easy with Him because
He cares about our needs and carries our burdens”.
“Give all your burdens to Him because He carries them, you don`t need to keep them and
worry about them. So, don`t worry about anything, instead have faith and trust in Him that He
will take care of you”.

The lockdown ended in May so after that most people started to visit friends
and family. We did the same and visited some of our dear friends. After three
months, my family decided to visit the Leach family (Jim and Becky) in Cluj. I
stayed there for a week, wanting to spend some more time with them, since I didn`t
see them for so long and I wanted to spend my vacation with them. During that
week, I was able to observe the way they live, and I felt honored to see their
values, love, honesty and the connection between them. I decided to change my
lifestyle and start that week because it was a great opportunity, having them to
encourage me in my decision. Every day I woke up early to have devotionals with
Becky and her daughters, where we read the book of Philippians from the Bible
and talked and prayed about it. I could learn and see their hearts toward people,
toward me, observe how they are loving other people and shining their light, their
lifestyle, reflecting Jesus so well. I enjoyed every moment, learning everything that
I could from them and spending quality time with them. It was a blessed week,
which followed by me going to Oradea.
All the things that God revealed and taught me and my experiences with
Him, led me to an honest prayer, opening my heart wide and asking Him for an
open door that would start a healing process in my life: body, soul, and spirit.
 THE JOURNEY STARTS

Bible Verses of this chapter

1 Corinthians 10:13:
“We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will
be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature and timing of every test or trial
you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust Him more, for along
with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it
victoriously”.

John 7:38:
“Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, Rivers of
living water will flow from His heart”.

1 Peter 5:7:
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you”.

John 14:27:
“I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the
world cannot give. So don`t be troubled or afraid”.

Next year, in 2021, the last day of January, we were invited to one of our
friend’s birthdays. It was on a Sunday, after Church. We had a lot of fun, staying
there for a longer time as usually when we were visiting them. We came home
directly to go to bed because it was already late. Early in the morning, I started to
feel an enormous sharp pain in my lower back with anterior radiation. In the
beginning, I could stay calm with the pain, but slowly it became stronger and more
intense. I couldn`t keep one position for more than 10-15 seconds or even less. The
pain made me cry. I didn`t want to wake up my sister with whom I share a room,
but because my pain was so intense, the noise I made, woke her up. She didn`t
know how to help me because it was a pain I never experienced before. I was just
tossing and turning around in bed. When the others woke up, nobody knew how to
help; they were just trying to guess what it could be, removing options and adding
others but nothing that they thought, seemed to be true. Pain got even more intense
and everybody was feeling sorry for me and was praying for the pain to cease. The
only thing that helped reduce my pain was an anti-inflammatory crème with aloe in
it that we often use for many reasons. That helped me fall asleep once in a while
until I woke up again with the same intense pain. This pain last for almost three
days in a row, day and night. The idea of going to the hospital or to a doctor didn`t
even come to my mind since I haven`t been for a long time and didn`t even need to
go. My father didn’t want to see me suffer anymore, especially without knowing
what caused the pain. Without telling me, he scheduled an appointment to a doctor
in Târgu Mureș, in a private clinic and then called my sister to let me know
because he was not at home and he didn’t want to wake me up.
I was right next to my sister and heard the conversation. At first, when I
heard about the appointment, I freaked out, but somehow, the Holy Spirit calmed
me and I accepted to go. I had three days to prepare for this consultation and I
started to get nervous as the day came closer. I told Jessica, who were one of my
work colleagues but also a friend of mine that I will go to the doctor and asked her
to pray for me. As she was praying, she perceived that I was going to have an
angelic experience there. When it was time for me to go, my father came with me
as a support. As we walked in, the doctor asked me some questions to understand
what exactly I felt and where the pain was located and then she started to examine
me. She also asked some other questions, that my father was able to give an answer
to, because it was related to my past health conditions. During the ultrasound, she
found out that I had kidney stones and the pain was caused by one of the stones
that I eliminated. She said, I should have gone to the hospital right away because
this was something serious that could have ended badly. Fortunately for me, the
stone that came out was not that big, so it didn’t cause serious health problems. She
said that the pain I felt was usually compared with labor pain.
The kidney stones were not the only problems she discovered, my blood
pressure was still high and my oxygen level was also bad. Because neither my
father, nor I, knew when I had my last routine check, she asked me to do several
blood tests and to visit a cardiologist. She had recommended me a doctor she
personally knew and vouched that she could give me some answers and she asked
me to send her the results from the blood test. She also wanted to know what the
cardiologist would tell me and to help me until everything was clear about my
health. She also recommended me to drink more water than usually every day and
told me what medicine to take for a few days.
After this doctor appointment, I finally was able to admit that I had my first
positive experience with a doctor. I was encouraged and could really feel that she
was interested in my heath situation, really caring for me to get well. Never before
did I see such an interest, professionalism and kindness in a doctor. I started to
drink more water and had my next doctor appointments.
One time during the YwaM worship night that I watched online, God spoke
to me while I was praising and worshiping Him. These were His words to me:
“You were waiting for this year, it will happen. This year is your year, your year to raise
your voice, to be that person you were longing for. In the midst of the bad in this world, I am
good, I will show you My goodness and you will continuously experience it and this will be your
testimony. Isn`t my love not bigger than all the bad things happening in the world? Concentrate
on Me and My love and goodness to you. I will make you a pillar of my strength and goodness, a
living testimony. All your weakness will turn in My strength in you and you are going to be a
strong pillar. I love you. Stay strong and hold onto this and nothing can shake you”.
 The connection groups were also good because we had thoughtful
conversations about the Sunday messages and practiced prophetic words. One day,
Jessica, who was also a leader in our connection group, prepared a very good
prophetic game and she had a great prophetic word for me, telling me that I can
relax because God is taking care of me in this season and that I don`t need to
stress. Through her, God reminded me that He loves me and is present in my life to
calm the storm. I can fully trust Him as I go forward.
When the day came for me to go to the cardiologist, I was nervous because I
haven`t been in a long time and I knew that something was not right. I just didn’t
know what exactly. My father had to leave because of his work, so he couldn’t go
with me. I asked our friend Márton to take me; who always was like a second dad
for us, being available whenever needed. Our families were friends for as long as I
know myself. This doctor was different than the other, but still kind and cautious.
She realized that I was reluctant and nervous to be there. After the examination,
she suspected two different diagnoses but couldn`t confirm them, because it was
hard to see with the ultrasound, so she told me that it would be best to do an
angiography CT scan. Meanwhile, I realized that waiting to be called by the doctor
was a normal thing and requested patience.
Because I was very nervous, I completely froze during the consultation.
When she asked if there was something that I felt in my heart, I didn’t tell her of
my heartaches, which bothered me a lot after. She still handled everything with
high professionalism.
After this, I had the blood tests, but I didn’t understand the results, so I just
sent everything to the internist, because she asked me to do so. The internist
encouraged me to go back to the cardiologist and ask for the reference ticket so I
could do the CT scan. I managed to get in touch with the doctor and she told me
when to go and get the paper I needed. She told me of two places where I could do
these examinations, but none had the option of doing this kind of CT scan that I
needed. Then she told me to go to the hospital because she knew for sure that I
could do it there. The moment I heard about the hospital, I rejected the idea
because of the stories I heard during the pandemic. My own stories from the past
also influenced my reaction. It frightened me and I told the doctor that I am not
willing to go there, that is why all her suggestions ran out, so I was left all by
myself.
But she did say something that started a change in me. She wrote two
diagnoses that needed to be checked through the CT scan and suggested to research
them by my own and understand what they are. I went home and started to read
about those things. As I was reading, I started to cry and ran into the “heavenly
car” to spend some time with God. Just as David, in every situation, turned his
heart toward God and asked for his support, so did I. God comforted me,
encouraged me, and gave me new strength to face what was to come.
I was at work, when the doctor told me that she didn't know another place
where I could do a CT scan and this was the first moment when I was close to give
up, just as I did during High School. I was speaking with Mira about this while we
sorted out some supplies we had. She saw my hopelessness but something inside of
me didn`t allow me to give up. I realized that God didn’t want me to give up and
Mira also encouraged me to hold on to hope.
In the meantime, I also started to do driving school, because I wanted this
for a long time and the fact that my sister did it before me, with a great instructor,
led me to start too. First, I began to study for my theory exam with the help of a
great app.
One day at the end of April, I looked for other places where I could do a CT
scan and I found a place in Cluj, but I didn't know if it was what I needed. To my
surprise, their response was positive and I was rewarded for my patience and
endurance of waiting. I was scheduled for May 12, 2021 and because it was my
first time, I was very nervous. I told my family and friends and they all prayed for
me. In this season, I realized that I need people in my life who can support me
during this process, because I needed prayer, encouragement and support. These
people turned out to be Jim, Becky, Mihaela and Emese, all good friends of mine.
From that day on, whenever I faced a situation that was beyond me, these people
lifted me up, declaring God's truth over my life.
Since the appointment was early that day, I needed to plan to go the day
before, so I asked Jim and Becky if I could stay at their place for a day and they
were happy to have me. That day was a Tuesday, so I had the opportunity to
participate at one of their worship nights in person. They even prayed for me and
gave me powerful prophetic words and images, which sealed the things that God
promised me. I experienced the presence of God in a wonderful way. The first
word that I got was from Alin, the leader of YwaM. It was a word that declared my
victory, peace and joy for my life, a confirmation from God, that He has a special
calling and destiny for my life and that nothing could stay in His way.
Jim had a prophetic image for me. He saw a treasure chest that Jesus had the
keys to open. When Jesus opened the chest, a brilliant light came out and my heart
was shining within. Jim heard as Jesus was saying that it`s time for the world to see
my face. Alin continued to pray and declared that every obstacle that is in the way
of my calling will be destroyed and will disappear because Jesus has called me to
shine and let the treasures within me be visible.
Other people also started to declare the truth over my life. They declared that
Jesus is enough for me and he will take me to a journey to prove that He is more
than enough for me, unfolding and unraveling what that means for me. Everybody
there declared life, health and victory over my life and the truth that not even my
circumstances would be able to define what God already defined for my life. I felt
a sweet presence of the Holy Spirit there.
Next day, my father came and picked me up from Jim and Becky`s house
and took me to the clinic where I had the CT scan. I noticed how peaceful I felt
that day. I wasn`t even nervous about it. They did their job, asking me some
questions, setting everything up. It didn`t last long and I could go home and wait
for the results. After a few weeks, I got the results and sent it to the cardiologist,
but also to the internist because she was always the one encouraging me and
motivating me in everything. I also researched a little bit about the results and saw
that one of the two diagnoses the doctor was thinking I could have, has been
confirmed. It’s called Coarctation of the aorta, which means that a part of the aorta
(the main and largest artery of the body, starting directly from the heart) is
narrower than usual and it forces the heart to pump harder in order to move blood
through the aorta. It is known as a congenital heart defect, which is usually
accompanied by other congenital heart defects.
The question was how severe the condition was and what had to be done
after knowing this. I had no idea how serious my condition was because it wasn’t
clear to me how narrow the aorta was, so I asked my doctor. She told me about a
doctor who is a professional in these things, in case an intervention was needed.
She gave me the name of the doctor and the private clinic where he worked,
because she knew that I was not open to going to the hospital.
Before making an appointment to the new doctor, I wrote to the internist,
asking her if she discovered anything from the blood test results, which we almost
forgot. That`s when I got other news. My thyroid blood test results were high and
she recommended me to go to an endocrinologist. Over the course of several
months, I learnt about a few diagnoses, which I did not know about. First the
kidney stones, something on my gallbladder that wasn`t a big concern, then the
heart condition and then about the thyroid. It started to be a lot at once in such a
short time. But this time, I didn`t let things overwhelm me; I turned to God and
asked for extra strength to get over everything and He was always faithful to me.
My brother started to use his car, so we changed the “heavenly car” to the
broke car in our yard that he bought to have spare parts for the car he was using.
On a wonderful Tuesday in May, I began to worship God, being connected online
with the YwaM base for their regular worship time. At one point, Becky said that
she feels God wanting to speak to everyone but in a different way. My eyes were
closed, when I suddenly felt like the car started to vibrate and then it felt like it was
moving. I opened my eyes because I knew that the car couldn`t move and as I
closed my eyes again, I felt the same thing. Jesus told me that He is taking me on a
journey where He will be the driver and I will be the passenger. He invited me on a
new journey with Him, where He would take me on new experiences turning
impossible things around and He promised me that I would enjoy His goodness
during this journey. He would change my fears and worries, giving me freedom in
many things I didn`t realize I needed.
Worship in His presence was my weapon against the enemy. Every time
when I felt scared or overwhelmed, I worshiped God. I created a playlist with
songs that were special to me. Another thing that helped me understand and stay
strong through Jesus was declaring and writing down every victory, promise and
truth of God that He gave me, which helped me stay refreshed in His strength. I
declared and wrote down everything I got, this way sometimes I would take my
notes and declare his promises over my life. I never felt so close to God before.
The harder it got, the more God showered me with His goodness, love, care,
blessings, presence, and faithfulness. There were a few songs that became like an
anthem in my life and I was listening to those songs many times, declaring what
the song was about. During this time, God gave me lots of messages that were
personal or for others. He started to give me powerful images, prophetic words and
encouraging words that strengthened me even more.
I started to plan my vacation and because I had some doctor appointments, I
planned to go to the Dream Guesthouse that Emese and her husband built in Târgu
Mureș. I wanted to schedule my appointments at the same time I had the theory
exam for my driving license, which turned out to be the week after my doctor
appointments. The place where the new cardiologist worked was closed for the
month of August, so I couldn’t go to all of the appointments during that week but
God worked in a miraculous way so that the guesthouse would be free and I would
have the finances for that time.
Before I went on vacation, one time during worship in our Church, God
showed me the next part of my vision about my journey with Him in the car. I saw
how a lot of ambulances and police cars were coming my way and I couldn`t
understand why. There was a big storm on our way and lots of thunder to hear. The
sky was very dark and it was very scary. I asked Jesus what this meant for me. He
gently reminded me of our journey and said: “Don`t be afraid, don`t you remember
that we started a new journey together? This is it, but don`t be afraid, I`m here
right by your side, actually I`m the driver”. Again, God overwhelmed me with His
love, care and goodness and I couldn`t stop crying out of thankfulness to Him
because it was powerful. Becky once told me that she saw me in this process with
all the medical visits and Jesus was dancing with me so I could relax and be
peaceful during the process.
On the day I had to go to the endocrinology, I wasn`t nervous, because I
didn`t really understand what it`s all about. But being there, the news that the
doctor gave me, changed everything. She said it`s a miracle that I`m still living and
I agreed. I knew I was a miracle since I was born, but she told me that my thyroid
it`s not functioning well because it`s so small that it`s almost gone and that I would
need to start a treatment that would last for my whole life. This hit me hard
because I wasn`t expecting anything like that. I didn`t want to take any treatment
but the doctor insisted so I accepted because I trusted her, knowing that she was
recommended by my internist doctor but the news didn`t feel good. She told me to
go back in a month and to start my treatment until then. Again, I felt that need to
keep everything to myself, because I didn't know how to tell the news to my
family. I was afraid that I would disappoint my parents, so I just went back to the
Guesthouse and contemplated everything that happened. I read some things in the
medicine leaflet of my treatment and saw something that concerned me. I called
my doctor on phone and what she told me hit me even harder than before. That`s
when I felt like I was in a very heavy storm. Although the appointment itself was
not bad, the news shocked me and stirred up bad emotions in me because some
things the doctor told me were true but disturbing, which led me to have dark
thoughts. I felt unable to tell these things to my family. So first, I talked to my
closest people. Right after I came back, I let Emese know how the appointment
went, then I texted Mihaela, Becky and Jim and then put worship songs on. They
prayed for me and somehow, I managed to call my parents and tell them
everything. Next day when I woke up, I started my day with worship and then I
realized that what happened the day before was the storm God warned me about. I
was thankful to God that He helped me go through that storm, even if it was hard. I
also started that treatment because God told me that every resource this world has,
is for us to use for our good and that it`s not a bad thing if I needed a treatment.
In summer, the worship leader from our Mexico base was here in Romania.
One day we had a worship time with him and the staff. I was tensed during
worship because the day when I had to go to the cardiologist was getting closer and
by this time, I read a lot of things about the doctor. He was known as one of the
best, if not the best in the country, because he could do what many others all over
Romania couldn`t. Therefore, he had patients from all over the country, not just
Mureș. I even read that in August he managed to do a procedure that was
successful for the first time in Romania. In my mind I looked for a reason why I
was sent to the best doctor in this domain. I couldn`t really understand why but felt
that there had to be something. This kept me from relaxing in God`s presence.
Then the leaders came up to me and prayed over me and after that I started to feel a
huge heat in my body, so much that my whole body warmed up, although it was
not warm in the room. God reminded me once again to let go of my fears and
worries because He will take care of them. I was so touched by Holy Spirit that my
whole body was trembling and I couldn`t stop crying. God kept reminding me that
He is my strength and whatever choices I would take in my life, His Spirit would
always lead me.
Before summer ended, I planned a trip to Oradea, the city where I went to
college. During my stay there I picked up my Master degree diploma because I
found out that I had to pay for every year I was keeping it at the college. My
sisters, Geno and Rose came with me to spend some quality time together. We
went to the house my uncle rented during that time, but he wasn’t at home. He
lived close to the big county hospital and one time when my sisters asked me to
buy some bread; I saw a bakery that was next to the hospital. Because I was
avoiding hospitals, I chose another place to buy the bread. The only things I
couldn`t avoid, were the noises from the ambulances and seeing the huge building
from the terrace.
 A LESSON OF FAITH AND ITS TEST

Bible Verses of this Chapter

Hebrews 2:18
“Since He Himself has gone through suffering and testing, He is able to help us when we
are being tested”.

Proverbs 17:3
“In the same way that gold and silver are refined by fire, the Lord purifies your heart by
the tests and trials of live”

Psalm 119:18
“Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in Your instructions“.

In September, I was preparing my mind for a hard week. I knew that, from
several points of view, it would be a decisive week, because on Monday I was
scheduled for second appointment at the endocrinologist, on Tuesday I had my
driving test, which in Romania is graded by a police officer, and on Thursday I will
have to go for the first time to the new cardiologist. My newest blood test results
were still not normal, so visibly, I had reason to worry.
I prayed and asked a lot of people to pray for me. I expected to get only good
news.
My appointment at the endocrinologist didn`t go as expected, because the
doctor raised my treatment, saying that my blood test results were not good
enough. Even if it wasn't as I expected, I didn't want to worry too much, because I
had an exam the next day. I was the first student who took the exam, among those
registered with the same instructor and I was obviously very nervous. The police
officer was very hard on me, so I did a lot of mistakes and failed the exam. I was
devastated, walked home together with another girl. I told my family on our
WhatsApp group, but I was alone at home. I cried for hours until I fell asleep. I
didn`t even had time to grieve because of my failure, since two days later; I knew
that I had my doctor appointment. With the help of my support group, I managed
to calm myself down, learn from my mistakes and knew what I will have to do
differently on my next exam.
When I went to the doctor, I had high blood pressure. He asked me some
questions of what my problem was and I handed him my results, without talking
too much. He asked me why I didn't do the CT at the hospital in Mureș, where he
also works, and if the other cardiologist didn't tell me that it was possible to do it
there too. I told him that she didn`t tell me about it and that I ran out of all the
options because I couldn`t find anywhere else a place where they had that option of
CT scan. I realized after, that actually the other cardiologist gave me the option to
go to the hospital and she probably meant the same place.
He looked over the images on the CD that had my results and it felt like he is
analyzing them for hours, although I have no idea how much time went by. He just
looked and made some serious noises that scared me. Then he told me that I would
need a blood pressure treatment to lower my blood pressure and to buy a blood
pressure monitor to keep a daily report of my blood pressure. He also told me that
a possible solution for my problem would be an intervention with a stent
implantation, but first I will need to take the treatment for one month and go back
to him with the blood pressure report.
In that week, everything turned out to be different than I expected. My
whole trust started to crush down. I was disappointed in everything: my life, God,
my family. Nobody and nothing could comfort me or encourage me anymore. I felt
lost, drowning in a quicksand with nobody to help me out. I felt that I failed again
because I didn`t even show or told the doctor the whole story. I was afraid of
taking the new treatment because I didn`t know if I could combine it with the other
one and I haven`t asked. I was scared to pray, not understanding if God wanted to
help me. Although I knew that only God could raise me up, I didn`t dare to ask.
Though I was scared, I wrote a prayer to God because I felt hopeless, broken
hearted, disappointed, discouraged and scared. The fact that I knew I had to
measure my blood pressure every day, frightened me even more. I couldn`t
understand God`s will for my life anymore because I thought that everything
would happen in one way and in fact it happened completely differently. I thought
He would heal me one more time like He did it when I was little. But nothing
seemed to be like I expected. My family and friends tried to help, but in vain, not
even my closest friends who were with me in everything could help in this. I just
continued to seek God for understanding.
In the beginning of October, when I checked my emails, I had two
devotionals by emails from the Passion Translation. What I read there, was a clear
response from God for my situation:
“I call you my own. You are my precious child, sealed with a divine kiss and brought into
the kingdom of light. Like any good parent, I look at you and see perfection. I see the reflection
of myself in you. I see the tender musings of your heart as you lean in to my strong arms. I am
here for you and I will never leave. I am good and faithful father. I am gentle and kind and know
exactly how to help you grow from one stage of glory to another. I never withhold mercy. I
always provide for your needs, although sometimes you question the way I choose to do it I give
you my strength, I clothe you with my radiance, and I made a way for us to be together forever. I
am so happy to call you my own. So enjoy our conversations and our time together. There isn`t
anything about you that pushes me away. Even when the frailty of your human flesh is obvious, I
declare you worthy, beautiful and mine”.
“And so that we would know that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of
Sonship into our hearts—moving us to cry out intimately, “My Father! My true Father!” Now
we’re no longer living like slaves under the law, but we enjoy being God’s very own sons and
daughters! And because we’re his, we can access everything our Father has—for we are heirs
because of what God has done! ~ Galatians 4:6-7”

“It is time for your giants to fall.

Get ready to be undone—completely and totally undone, wrecked by my outrageous love
that is being released in your life. You will be amazed by what I’m about to do for you. It’s time
for your giants to fall!I have heard your prayers. I have seen your tears. I have watched as you
stood on shaking legs that felt like they couldn’t take another step. Though the enemy works to
steal, kill, and destroy, my glory has made you strong. It is time for you to see what I can do. It’s
time for you to cross the threshold of opposition and step into the joy of breakthrough. Now is
the time to be joyfully expectant, to allow yourself to be filled with anticipation. It’s time to be
confident, not because I do everything the way you think I will, but because you trust me to do
things my way. Anchor yourself in my promises, and soon you’ll see the fruit of what I’ve already
put into action behind the scenes. You will be astounded at the victory I am releasing and
pleasantly bewildered by the way I bring these things to pass.”
“When I had nothing, desperate and defeated, I cried out to the Lord and he heard me,
bringing his miracle-deliverance when I needed it most. The angel of Yahweh stooped down to
listen as I prayed, encircling me, empowering me, and showing me how to escape. He will do
this for everyone who fears God. Psalms 34:6-7”.

I started to realize how true all these things were and made the words my
own. Then I read some more encouraging devotionals which really empowered me,
making me understand that if things doesn`t happen the way we expect, it doesn`t
mean that God is not with us, working for our best. I realized that I need to trust
that He knows everything better and that at the end I will see and understand God`s
hand in everything. It changed my whole perspective and I asked for forgiveness
from God, although I knew He already forgave me. I understood that my situation
was never out of God`s control and realized that no matter what was happening, all
I had to do was to declare life and healing, not thinking about my problem, but the
solution. Jesus empowered us to declare life over everything. The Lord told me to
trust Him and to not be afraid, no matter what will happen, even if that meant to
get through the intervention. Although I wasn't sure that this would happen, if it
was God's will or if he had something else for me. I was praying about it. I trusted
God and He kept speaking to me, encouraging me, giving me prophetic words and
images through people or during worship, to stay close to what God`s will was for
my life. The worship nights on Tuesday were my favorite days and ways of how
God was speaking to me.
Right before I had my second appointment with the doctor, God spoke to me
through a man, who posted something on social media. That man had no idea that
he played a part in the whole process and what God wanted to do in my life. It was
a post from the Apocryphal books of the Bible, books that aren`t in the usual Bible,
just in some special Bible that contained these books. It was from the book of
Ecclesiasticus, also called the Wisdom of Jesus the Son of Sirach, chapter 38,
which says:
- “Honor a doctor according to your need with the honors due to him, for truly the Lord
has created Him”.
- “The Lord created medicines out of the earth. A prudent man will not despise them”.
- “He gave men skill that he might be glorified in his marvelous works. With them he heals
and takes away pain”.
- “Then give place to the doctor, for truly the Lord has created him. Don`t let him leave
you, for you need him. There is a time when recovery is in their hands”.

When I read these things, I knew that God wanted me to listen to what the
doctor said even if that would mean an intervention. I trusted that He knows why
and had a plan already prepared. From this moment, whoever told me anything
else, I didn`t let that discourage me because I knew what God`s will was for me. I
asked for a conversation with Jim and Becky and told them to pray for me and they
not just prayed for me but encouraged me a lot.
The day I went for the second time to the doctor, I already knew that I will
accept his suggestion. I knew I would be in good hands, but that didn`t meant that I
wasn`t nervous. I had the highest blood pressure I ever saw. He said that he would
do a procedure to find out if I needed a stent.
Here’s what’s interesting, that I realized along the way. In the beginning, I
wasn`t willing to go to hospitals, but somehow through the doctor, I felt that I can
trust him and God through the whole process and that everything would be fine.
God knew how to introduce the idea of going to the hospital, because He knew I
would have not been ready to go from the beginning, which is why I had to go
through all these steps.
Because of the pandemic, he couldn`t plan for me to be hospitalized right
after that because there was a government decision that said hospitals could receive
just emergency cases. My case was not an emergency, which was a good sign. He
told me to ask again a few weeks later and he would let me know. He was so kind
and full of empathy, something I couldn't believe was true. He knew what I needed
to hear and gently explained what that procedure meant for me and what he would
have to do. I asked him if the procedure would change something in my life and if
there would be something that I would not be able to do anymore. He told me that
my life will get back to normal, without knowing what is my normal because my
normal was not a normal person`s life. I have always exceeded my physical limits
in my life.
He showed professionalism on another level, was kind and very thoughtful.
This time, I wrote on the blood pressure report that I`m taking other treatments as
well, to make sure that he would see it and ask about it. I also wanted to be sure
that I will cover that topic. That`s when I also told him that I had other heart
problems when I was little. When I explained to him the conditions I had, he told
me that there is no such problem anymore. None of the problems I had in the past
were present anymore, which was a confirmation of me being healed and a great
testimony. The same way as in the past, when people had to go to the priest, who
would state if somebody was sick or healed, now people are going to the doctor to
find out if they are sick or healed.
While I was waiting for him to get an appointment into the hospital, God
prepared me in every way, encouraging me through my friends and family and
giving me confirmations of His will for the season I was in, strengthening me
during the whole process. On one of the Sundays, we started our service with a
powerful praying time, with God`s presence manifesting among us. I had received
a vision for Genea, our leader, who was going to speak that day. Before the service
started, she came to me with a message and handed me a stone that had a heart
drawn on it. She told me that there was a boy in the Mexico base who also had
heart problems and needed a surgery. Whenever they saw something related to a
heart, everyone who knew about his problem, prayed for him. This time, she found
this stone on which there was a heart drawn and she thought of me, knowing I will
have the procedure sometime in the future. She gave it to me, telling me that she is
going to pray for me whenever she will think of me. I was so touched by her
gesture that the stone got an important meaning and value for me.
During this time, I was preparing for my next driving exam that was
scheduled for November 18. One week before, I created a short text for myself,
declaring everyday success through God, that on the day of the exam, He will help
me stay calm and no matter which police officer would be my examiner; I would
still come out victorious. On the exam day, while another student was driving, I
was singing a song which says: “There`s gonna be glory, there`s gonna be glory, there will
be glory after this. No need to worry, in this present suffering, there will be glory after this”,
which really encouraged me and helped me have victory. When it was my turn, I
started with some mistakes in the beginning but then silently prayed that I won`t do
any other mistakes and from there on everything was perfect. God also gave me
favor, because due to an accident, we didn't have to drive on the main European
road. I drove back to the starting place and when I stopped, the police officer said,
“Congratulations, you passed the driving exam”. I was so happy, I couldn`t believe
what I heard. The instructor told me that I should start driving as soon as I get my
driving license and so I did. He was the best instructor I could ever imagine
having.
God gave me another prophetic image during a YwaM worship night.
Brooklyn was singing “I can feel His heartbeat in me” and I was singing with her.
God suddenly showed me a picture of my heart struggling to pump the blood all
over my body and it was like a half circle and the pumping was going always just
half the way. Then I saw the circle closing, which meant the blood was going all
around the body. The process of pumping was whole and complete. God reminded
me that my heart was already renewed and that He is taking care of the blood
circulation. I knew he will do this during the procedure and that everything will be
done perfectly, without any problems remaining. He told me that He put His heart
in mine so that it would work properly. His heart was pumping in mine, and I
started to feel that. All the desires He placed in me are His and He said they are
good and that I should not worry about them.
Another time, he gave me new image. I saw lightning and at first, I didn't
understand what it could mean because it was very scary. But Jesus filled me with
love and reminded me of our journey with the car and that I should not worry
because He is still driving with me and keeping me safe. Then I knew that a
moment would come that would feel like a lightning, but God reassured me to not
worry about it, but to trust Him. Something that Jim always reminded me of, was
that God is always good and faithful to us, we just have to trust and wait patiently
for Him to show up. All I needed to do is to stay strongly connected to Him, to
understand and hear when he speaks to me. God showed me often that He is
holding my hands and would not let go.
One morning when I woke up, I had some doubts whether I should let the
doctor do the procedure. Sometimes I heard voices that were trying to stop me to
do what God already promised me, even though He promised to be with me. It was
not easy because many times people close to me tried to convince me not to do the
intervention. All I had to do was to stay strong in what God told me, not listening
to other voices. This was possible because God was always there for me when I
needed Him. That's when He set my heart on watching a few episodes of the
Chosen series. I watched the episodes where Jesus healed the man with leprosy;
when he talked with the Pharisee Nicodemus and when he called Matthew to
follow him, even though He knew that Matthew was a tax collector. I couldn`t stop
crying because I realized that God wanted to show me that He loves and accepts
everybody, from the most contagious people who were banished to remote
locations to the people with the highest position and even the most rejected ones
like the tax collectors were in those times. He wasn`t afraid of anyone and
anything, so I realized that He is with me and I shouldn’t be afraid going to the
hospital. I realized that God loves doctors too and if He guides me to the hospital,
nothing bad will happen to me there. He nullified that very known Romanian
proverb in myself that says that those who are going to the hospital, are coming out
with more problems than when they go to the hospital. God told me that He will be
with me, that I will have favor from Him and that I will have a positive experience
there. With this, all my doubts ceased and from that day on, nothing could freak
me out regarding the procedure. I still was nervous a little bit about it, but I had
hope because that was a great sign from God, comforting me. I realized I needed
this before I went there because it gave me a strong confidence.
The next time when I joined the worship night online, I already had a
schedule for the intervention. I let Jim and Becky know and with my approval,
they shared it with the people there and prayed for me, what I highly appreciated
and was thankful for. During worship time, we experienced God`s powerful
presence. I just wanted to stay there and glorify Him. Jim declared complete
healing over me and the peace of Jesus over my emotions. He also prayed for
protection over me and that God`s love would guide the doctors. He declared
freedom from fear and any emotional restlessness because love is casting out every
fear. God`s promise over my life is love, health and peace, not fear. Another leader
from there saw a beam of light coming down from Heaven. That light brought
peace, joy and warmth over me. It was like God was completely shining over me
and surrounding me. A person there talked about how important it is to forgive
everything that needs to be forgiven and to resolve any unresolved situations, but
at that time I did not realize the fact that for my own peace and inner health, I
needed to forgive the entire medical system and let go of negative experiences
from my childhood. During my hospitalization, I understood how much I needed to
do that.
Brooklyn highlighted that Jesus wanted to remind me that the world is not my
source of peace, but the Holy Spirit and He is an unlimited source for us and for
me personally. This helped me to be aware of it when facing any kind of
circumstance that could take my peace away and that I can always reach to the real
source. A woman declared the river of life over my life, no matter the procedure
that will take place. Jim sealed all these prophetic words with a prayer and I felt so
strengthened in my Spirit.
 On the day I was scheduled for the procedure, I had to wake up early in the
morning, at 4:30 am, to be able to arrive in Targu Mures on time. There was a
snowstorm outside so we couldn`t drive fast because we could barely see
something. Big trucks were stuck on the way but I was thankful there wasn’t a
traffic jam on our side of the road. We arrived in time and were between the first
ones. Everyone who got to be hospitalized had to take a covid test. That was the
first step and then came all the other paperwork. After this, I said goodbye to my
father and they led me to the rooms. I was alone in a big room with six beds, and I
was allowed to choose whichever bed I wanted. I obviously chose the one next to
the window to be able to see outside. I had no idea what will happen that day.
First, I had to wait until my test results came in, hoping that the results came out
negative and they were. While I was waiting, I felt my heart beating like crazy,
although I knew there is no reason for me to be nervous. But a little bit later, I was
able to calm down and felt peaceful.
Then, a resident doctor, who was responsible with my case, came to ask me
several questions so she would have the whole picture. Then, for reasons that I
won’t explain, she told me that they couldn’t do the procedure. I thought about
many things that could happen that day, made up all kinds of scenarios in my head
but I didn't think about the thing that happened at all.
Everyone was very nice to me. I was surprised how kind and nice they were
to me, because I never experienced something like that before. I did not understand
everything they were telling me about the situation that arose, but the situation was
handled with great professionalism and one of the resident doctors even did a huge
favor for me, for which I will be forever thankful. As I said, they had to wait with
the procedure, but they told me they can`t let me go right away because I was
already hospitalized so I had to wait until the next day. Until then, they did a new
ultrasound, new examinations, blood test and everything needed. After they
finished with everything, they left me alone in the room and I had time to process
with God. I took my headphones out and put some music on. I worshiped and
cried, listening to my playlist. Crying was a way to process things in a healthy way
for me, the only way I could calm myself down. But this time I cried longer and for
them to not notice, I turned off the light and turned my back to the door, facing the
window and looking outside. It was a beautiful view because my room was on an
upper floor, with a view to the street where the entrance was. I was admiring the
beautiful view, was crying and worshiping in the same time. I told my family and
friends to wait for my answer of how I feel. I just wanted to spend time alone with
God, which helped me, but I didn’t understand why it had to happen like this. But I
trusted God, that He knows all the why’s and that it`s going to turn out to my best.
I was happy that nobody disturbed me, although I sent a message to both Becky
and Mihaela. At the end of the day, before I went to sleep, I ate and told my family
what happened. Then I went to sleep. On the next day, I woke up early again
because a woman came in and prepared more beds for new patients. I checked my
phone and saw that Jim texted me the day before. I couldn`t believe that I went to
sleep earlier than him. It was a funny fact for me because I usually go late to bed.
Shortly after, they came to tell me that I can get ready to leave but they told me to
call at the end of the week to find out what the next steps will be.
That Tuesday, YwaM had their last worship night of the year and I was glad
I could join online from home. Even the Christmas event was powerful and I could
feel God`s presence. I realized then that what I experienced at the hospital was the
lightning I saw in an image, because it was a sudden thing that I wasn’t expecting
and a little bit scary too. I understood how wrong it was to have any expectations
of what could happen and to not count on unexpected things. I promised God that I
won`t do it again and that whatever unexpected thing would come my way, I
would embrace it. I asked Him to prepare me for every unexpected situation and I
realized that all this happened so that I would be prepared for the procedure. I
forgot that my circumstance is not my source of peace, but God, so I was thankful
for the second chance.
During the worship time, I had a new encounter with God. This time we
went through an earthquake and again Jesus asked me not to be afraid or scared
because in this earthquake, He wanted to make me unshakeable. This time I really
wanted to listen to Him and asked Him for extra strength. He filled me with His
strong presence, strengthening me and giving me a new confidence and trust in
Him, reminding me of all His promises and prophetic words. All I asked for the
next time was to stay peaceful in any circumstance, which was my biggest request
and prayer from God. After a few days, the resident doctor, who made me a favor
before, called my father, telling him that the procedure will take place next
Monday, which was right after Christmas. This way, we could spend the Christmas
together.
 THE HEART

Bible Verses of this Chapter

Proverbs 3:5-6:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek
His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take”.

Matthew 6:21:
“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be”.

Ephesians 3:17:
“Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will
grow down into God`s love and keep you strong”.

Philippians 4:7:
“Then you will experience God`s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His
peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus”.

The second time I had to go to the hospital for the actual procedure, I woke
up a little bit later, knowing that they won`t let us in before 7 AM, so why be there
so soon? We still had to wait a bit. They took another covid test and did all the
paperwork again. This time they put me in another room to wait for the test results
to come in, because there were other patients in the room I was before. This time, I
was on the other side of the building, where I had a different view. I saw the
backside of the hospital, which was offered a view of beautiful nature.
As soon as I got in the room, I was left alone until the results came in. I gave
the newest updates to my family and friends about the things that I knew. I told
them not to worry about me because I was fine, full at peace and I felt strong in
Spirit. I even had a declaration that I prayed over my life:
 “Even when my life feels chaotic, I can experience Your peace because of what Jesus did
on the cross. Thank You for making this possible by sending us Your Son! He has made a way for
us to know and experience You. Even when life feels out of control, I can cling to the truth that
Your peace isn`t based on my feelings or circumstances, but on Your character and faithfulness.
When I don`t feel at peace, please make Your presence known to me. Remind me that You`re in
control. Give me your strength and comfort when the world feels unsafe. Protect my heart and
mind from the weight of my feelings and thoughts. Allow me to sense Your presence and to live
with confidence that You are always near. Let my life be an example of Your peace that
surpasses understanding. In Jesus Name, Amen”.
After declaring these things, I put worship on my phone and started to
worship the Lord, with my headphones on. Around 1 pm they came and moved me
to the room I was in for the first time. They gave me lunch and then, one of the
resident doctors came and explained when and how everything will happen.
Because it was late and I already ate, they couldn`t do the procedure that day, so I
had to wait for the next day. A little bit later, I had to go to talk with the
anesthetist, who was going to be there during the whole procedure, making sure I
won`t feel anything. Before this, she needed to make sure that she has all the
information about me that was necessary in order for everything to go well and be
prepared for anything that could go wrong. They did a blood draw for
compatibility in case I would have a bleeding and would need blood. Then, I was
sent back and another doctor came to give me more details about the procedure.
Nothing was new for me because at my last appointment with my doctor, he
already told me everything I needed to know, even more detailed.
We were five women in that room, but some of them waited to be released
soon. When all the details were explained to me, I had the opportunity to watch a
Chosen episode. After that I listened to some more worship songs. This time I
wasn`t alone so I didn`t sing, just listened and sang silently. Then, I talked a little
with the women who were with me in the room and read the second book of
Narnia. I texted with my family and friends, updating them about news and
expressed how I felt. Mihaela shared with me a link where I could listen to all the
Bible verses, regarding healing and wealth, read like a declaration. I listened to
them a few times to remember them.
Before I went to bed, they gave me some medication. I was feeling very
peaceful, but for some reason my blood pressure was still high, even though I
didn`t feel that I was nervous.
The next morning, they woke me up at 6 AM because I had to take some
other pills and my thyroid treatment. They also had to measure my blood pressure,
which again was high, but I didn`t even care about it anymore. They told me to get
ready because I could be called for the procedure at any time. During this time, one
of the women was allowed to go home and another one received bad news. She
wanted to call her son, but found out that he passed away. Everybody tried to
comfort her, since she recently had a difficult surgery on her heart and this news
was not good for her. I was very sorry for her.
I told my family that I would let them know when I would go in for the
procedure. Before that, when I prepared my bag, I took the stone that Genea gave
me and wrote a short prayer with the stone in my hand: “Father, I take this stone
with me as a reminder of all Your promises! I will rest knowing this truth and
being at peace. You will lead my doctor`s hands. Thank You for everything”.
After my prayer, I put the stone in the bag so I would have it with me
everywhere they would take me. After this, a man told me to take my bag and
everything I needed and follow him, although at that time I did not know what I
would need. He took me to the place where the procedure was supposed to happen.
First, I had to wait at the door because just before I arrived, another man was taken
out from there and they had to set up everything for me. Then I went in and they
asked me to lie down so that they could prepare everything that needed to be done.
One of the doctors asked me what my name means and I told her it means “God is
great/majestic”. Although my name means more than just that, this came in my
mind at that moment. While they were preparing for the procedure, my doctor also
came and checked if everything was right. He gave some instructions, talked with
me and the other doctors. He seemed to be in a good mood, which relaxed me.
Then they started the procedure. I couldn`t feel anything, I just heard what they
were speaking. When they started the procedure itself, I started singing songs in
my head that came into my mind. These are the songs that helped me in those
moments:

1. “I'm pulling on joy from Heaven's reserve
He's stored up enough for every winter I'm
served
I'm seeing beyond my circumstance
This joy that I have is my Inheritance
Joy, this is the joy of the Lord
The joy, the joy
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
There's gonna be glory, there's gonna be glory
There will be glory after this
No need to worry
In this present suffering
There will be glory after this”

2. “Be still and know Find rest, don't strive

That the Lord is in control Watch as faith and grace align
Be still, my soul
Stand and watch as giants fall Surely love and mercy
Your peace and kindness
I won't be afraid for You are here Will follow me
You silence all my fear Will follow me
I won't be afraid, You don't let go Your love surrounds me
Be still my heart and know Your love surrounds me here
Be still and trust Your love surrounds me
What the Lord has said is done Your love surrounds me here”
 I sang these songs all over again until I fell asleep from the sedative that was
administered to me. I kept dozing off and waking up all through the procedure.
God was working miracles in me because in an interesting way, I was fine with
everything that was happening. I enjoyed hearing what they said they were doing.
If it would have been after me, I would have wanted to stay awake through all the
procedure, hearing everything, because I enjoyed it even if everything was new for
me. I had no idea what and how everything will happen, what the steps were, so
everything they said and did was new for me. God really helped me embrace the
unexpected because this time, everything was unexpected. I didn`t even know what
to expect. There were some things that, if God had not worked on me beforehand,
would have been very difficult for me. God took away every bad feeling I could
have felt normally, like fear, anxiety, shame and He exchanged it with peace, love,
care and strength. It was a positive experience for me and I could really say I
enjoyed the whole process.
Every time I woke up, the doctor came and asked me if I`m feeling good and
that was also something I wasn`t expecting to happen, not because I didn`t think he
was kind, but because he was unexpectedly kind. I heard them saying something
like a “balloon” which sounded interesting and I was wondering what that meant. I
thought that they already knew before that they will have to implant the stent. I
heard some other things as well, like when they inserted the contrast substance,
which I also could feel. There were two other songs that I was singing during and
after the procedure, “Waymaker” and “Yes and Amen”. The last one was the song
Jim dedicated to me when they prayed for my procedure.

“Father of kindness You brought me out of darkness

You have poured out of grace You have filled me with peace
Giver of mercy You pulled me from the ashes
You're my help in time of need You have broken every curse
Lord I can't help but sing Blessed redeemer
You have set this captive free
Faithful You are Lord I can't help but sing /
Faithful forever You will be
Faithful You are I will rest in Your promises
All Your promises are yes and Amen My confidence is Your faithfulness
I will rest in Your promises
Beautiful Savior My confidence is Your faithfulness”
You have brought me near
After the procedure was done, the first thing I asked the doctor was if they
put the stent in and of course the response was positive, but I had to ask. They
moved me in the intensive care unit, where there was always at least one person
watching over me and another patient. I had an allergic reaction on my chest, so
the doctor came to check on me, although I couldn`t feel anything. He was so kind
and good to me that I was amazed by it. All the other doctors were also very kind
to me and treated me well; this is why slowly all my bad experiences turned to
good ones and it felt good.
I couldn`t move because I had a lot of infusions and I had compressive
bandage on my legs. After I slept, I was told that my sister called me and truly
Linda managed somehow to find and call the number of the room I was in. It was
another unexpected thing, because I didn`t know that it was possible to be called. It
felt good to speak to my family because I couldn`t tell them when the procedure
started. I couldn`t talk much because it was hard for me to hold the phone to my
ears. That`s when they heard that I was speaking Hungarian and from then on we
spoke in Hungarian, because almost every one of them was Hungarian and was
speaking the language. I got to know the other patient better and we were speaking
whenever both of us were awake. Some things were harder for me, like being dizzy
and nauseous a few times, but they took good care of me.
God helped me with everything I experienced there so that I could get over
everything more easily and enjoy the time I was in the hospital. Sometimes I was
having conversations with the other person or the doctors and the nurses there.
Another time, I prayed and sang in my mind.
God healed my heart, physically, through the doctors, but he also did a
spiritual miracle, healing me in every way. I felt that my heart was renewed and so
many people were playing a role in my healing. I was called again; this time Rose
and my mother called me. It was nice speaking to them and knowing that they
wanted to hear how I was feeling. There were countless times when they measured
my blood pressure and did some routine checks and sometime during the evening,
a cardiologist was checking to see if everything was all right.
I couldn`t sleep almost the whole night because I slept long hours before.
After a while, another shift came and two people were brought into the room, who
I did not see but I heard the device they were connected to.
At some point, a lot of doctors came into the room I was in and they were
talking about the next steps they had to take. They checked me again and then
moved both me and the patient who was with me from the beginning, back to the
fourth or fifth floor. There were two other people there, another man and a woman.
The doctors and nurses here were also very kind and they even brought me some
things I didn’t have with me, like my thyroid pills and my phone. The resident
doctors informed me about some things that I did not know. They said that the
doctors had difficulty in passing through the narrow place of the artery but that
there were no complications, and everything was fine at the end. The food they
gave us was also very good.
 One good thing was that I was allowed to have my phone with me, because
when you stay in bed all day it's good to have something to do. I texted everyone
who was praying for me and told them that everything went well and that I was
feeling good. My experience continued to be good with the doctors and nurses and
I was very glad and thankful to God.
Having my phone and a lot of time, I started to write down every single little
detail I remembered from the day I was hospitalized, to the procedure and
everything else till that moment. I felt it was important to write every detail in case
I wanted to write my testimony in the future. I also did some selfies and a short
video of the room I was in. I enjoyed speaking to the Hungarian man who was with
me from the beginning. We joked a lot, but also spoke about our families a little
bit. He told me that his wife was pregnant and that they expect the baby sometime
in the spring. We also talked to the man and once in a while with the woman next
to me.
There were some things that were very difficult for me but I could feel that
God was with me in every situation and in every room I was. He took care of little
details, knowing what would be hard for me. Then I remembered the last vision
with the earthquake and realized that this was like an earthquake in my life because
many of my fears fell, things that I didn't think I would go through and that they
would have a good ending. I knew I was finally free from all those things that were
holding me captive for years. Before, I could never have imagined that I could
have a positive feeling about a medical intervention. God knew what he had to do
to make these things possible. Even though many things happened there that I
thought were impossible or very difficult for me, they shook me at first but didn't
knock me down and I was able to remain steadfast. The only things that fell were
my strongholds, my fear from doctors, hospitals, shame, embarrassment, and
anxiety. There were a few other things in which I could see God`s hand in an
awesome and unbelievable way, but can`t name all of them.
The next day, everyone told me that they were jealous of the fact that I was
able to sleep so deeply and well that nothing woke me up during the night. I was
still amazed of the kindness and goodness of the nurses and doctors, although there
were so many shifts that I couldn`t keep up counting. Everybody was kind and nice
to me and to the other patience. This is probably a normal thing for many,
especially for those from other countries because they are used to it, but I was so
amazed because my previous experiences were not good at all, so that was
something new and unexpected for me.
On Thursday I was prepared to be moved back to the first room I was in.
They told me that I would probably be able to go home the next day. The man I
spent the most time with was sad that I had to leave the room but I was happy that
my situation got better and that I didn’t have to be connected to the monitors with
infusions anymore.
When I was moved back to the room, the woman whose son passed away
was still there. I don't know what I was thinking, but as soon as I was moved back,
I started to walk around, to arrange my things and to sit down, which wasn`t good
for my incisions. I started to feel a huge pain that forced me back to bed and
reminded me I just had a procedure a few days ago and I`m not Superwoman. The
resident doctor came to visit us and brought us some extra good food. She was so
kind and told me that the next day I would be able to go home, after the “big visit”
of the doctor who was the head of the clinic, who visited every patient in every
room to hear about each patient.
Knowing about the situation of the woman next to me, I tried to comfort her,
talk and listen to her about everything she was willing to share. I saw that it made
her feel better. When she was asleep, I was on my phone, updating my friends and
family about the things that were happening. I continued to write everything I
experienced there and when I finally had my headphones, I could listen to worship
songs again and could watch more Chosen episodes. I was encouraged by my
family and friends a lot.
As in the other rooms, here too I had to face some difficulties and got over
them with the many encouragements and advice of my family and friends. God
helped me in every situation and knew what and who I needed every single time.
The next morning, I woke up early again, even earlier than before because
some nurses came to the woman I was with and that woke me up this time. Then,
they cleaned the room. When the head of the clinic came to visit me, he asked how
I was feeling, if I felt better than before the procedure. He was nice and kind and I
was amazed that they did this regularly. After he left, the resident doctor came with
my papers and was ready to release me from the hospital. She told me what I had
to do with the incisions, what my new treatments were and how much I should stay
at home. I got almost a month of medical leave from the hospital. She told me
everything I needed to know and then told me that my family can come to pick me
up. I let my family know and in one hour my father was there to take me home. I
was told that I will have to go back so that they could take out the sutures and to do
a new CT scan. Somebody came and helped me to get to my father so I didn`t have
to carry all my things. They also offered to take me down with a wheelchair, but I
told them that I will be fine walking, if I could walk slowly. From the hospital, we
went directly to a pharmacy and my father bought everything I needed. Then we
went home.
I will never forget that week because God changed something that was a
nightmare for me into the highlight of my year, a blessed week where I had my
first good experience in a hospital. I will be forever thankful to all the doctors and
nurses who were responsible for my well-being, especially my doctor, who did a
great job. What I realized when I got home was that the stone from Genea was with
me in every room I was moved, which made it even more valuable to me.
 RECOVERY AND A NEW PERSPECTIVE

Bible Verses of this Chapter:

Ephesians 2:8-9:
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is
the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one my boast”.
``Psalm 22:22:
“I will praise you to all my brothers; I will stand up before the congregation and testify
of the wonderful things you have done”.

Daniel 4:2:
“I want you all to know about the miraculous signs and wonders the Most High God has
performed for me”.

Matthew 5:16:
“So don`t hide your light! Let it shine brightly before others, so that your commendable
works will shine as light upon them, and then they will give their praise to Your Father in
heaven”.

I was blessed that I could go home right before the year ended and could
spend the New Year`s eve with my family and my friends as we always used to do.
We had a blessed time, although this time I could play only the games where I
didn`t have to move because I was in recovery. There was a couch where I was
either sitting or lying down, while the others were sitting on chairs. My best friend
was with us and since she is a nurse, she was curious of my experience in the
hospital. I told her some things that happened there. It was hard for me to know
what to eat because I had to be more careful and there were a lot of food that I
really loved but weren’t necessary good for me.
 The first days were a little bit difficult because I had to change my bandages
every day until they took out the sutures and it hurt. Also, I had some skin rash on
my hands from having the blood pressure monitor`s cuff on my hand for so long.
In addition, the fact that I thought I had “superpowers” and did things I wasn't
allowed to do, caused pain in my chest a few times.
I spent the first month after the procedure at home. The only times I went
out, were when I went to Church on Sundays. I didn`t want to miss Church because
I love my Church. I couldn’t even go to my dog because of her high energy that
would harm me without her knowing that she’s causing pain. Most of the times, I
was lying down, reading books, writing, or speaking with friends on my phone or
staying on social media. Every evening I was watching a TV show I liked because
it was a sport show.
The day before I had to go to the hospital for the sutures to be removed was
very hard because for some reason, I felt pain on both sides of my incisions. I
couldn`t even sleep well, almost didn`t sleep at all and the next day I fall asleep
and was late for the appointment. There I was told that I should make an
appointment to my doctor because he had to decide when I will have my next CT
scan. I also had some questions and worries about the pain that I still felt.
I also had a new checkup with the internist and she found out I had
gallbladder sludge, which was some kind of sandy thing in my Gallbladder, for
which I received a tea treatment. She was very happy for me to know that
everything went well with the intervention because she was worried for me in the
beginning, when I visited her for the first time.
The day I went to my cardiologist, God gave me a song that encouraged me:
“He wouldn`t put you through the fire, if He couldn`t take you higher”. He told me that it`s

normal to still feel pain at both of my incisions for around three months, but I
should not feel pain in my chest, so he told me to be careful, not to do any physical
or emotional effort, like being overexcited or stirred up from things.
Then I went through a season that was not easy for me. I was getting very
emotional and cried easily. Every time after I came back from a doctor
appointment, there was something that bothered me. I was annoyed by myself, of
how I reacted to things and sometimes to people around me. I once even had a
nightmare falling in a deep hole, pulled by something and I knew that this was not
right. The enemy was trying to get me down. But God made sure I won`t stay in
that condition. I heard a very encouraging message from Jim where he was
encouraging us to set our sight to God in every situation and don`t let the enemy
hold us down. If we are seeking Him in every situation, He helps us to take our
attention from what is not right, but we have to choose this consciously because it
won`t come easily. I started again to spend more time with Jesus and He continued
to encourage me, lifted me up when I was down through YwaM worship time
online and the Mission, during devotionals.
I started to read and work on myself for spiritual and emotional growth, but I
also worked on my character and personality. It was an intense season, reading
books, taking tests, and changing behavioral and bad habits in my life. God didn`t
stop speaking to me. Even when there were situations when circumstances showed
one thing, God always highlighted to me whenever I was believing a lie, replacing
it with His truth. He was showing me that out of all the problems I had, I was fine
and healed and that my journey would be a great testimony in my life. He taught
me how to set my eyes always on Him, by changing my perspective and showed
me how powerful His goodness in my life was. Knowing this I could overcome
every attack of the evil because he has no power above God`s goodness, love and
faithfulness. Worship nights on Tuesday with YwaM were a true blessing for me.
God showed me so many times that, no matter what, I was accepted by Him and
that He desires for me to go to Him in every situation I’m facing because in His
eyes I was made perfect, through Jesus Christ. Even after all my failures with
doctor appointments or in life, He was always ready to give me new strength and
encourage me not to worry about anything but trust in His goodness and
faithfulness. He reminded me that He is the source of every good we need.
When I needed it most, Jim always reminded me of these truths. Alin and
the YwaM staff also had a lot of great messages from God that were reminding me
of the truths of God. The devotionals at the Mission were also a blessing for me
because we could start the day with worship and a short message from one of our
leaders or whoever shared.
In February I had my next CT scan at the hospital. It went fine. I told them
about the allergic reaction I had at the day of the procedure so they gave me
something for that. After a few weeks, I asked my doctor if he knows something
about the results and he told me that the results are very good and that my next
appointment was after three months. I was very happy to know that my results are
good because I was a little bit worried due to the fact that I still felt heart pain
sometimes and I didn’t understand why. I didn't think that it could be because
sometimes I did physical effort, because I thought that the recovery time was over
and I could do all the things I did before.
I was getting more and more strength, not just physically, but spiritually as
well and with every prophetic word and image I was receiving, God spoke to me
regarding my life, the gifts He placed in me, the dreams He had for me and that
He`s the one giving me all the resources to it. I just needed to let God work
through the gifts I got and not hide them anymore.
In April, God gave me a new vision related to the journey with the car. This
time I couldn`t see anything in front of me, it was very foggy and I was driving the
car by myself. He was waiting for me at the end of the road, knowing that I will be
fine because the road was fine, I just couldn`t see it. I felt that it was full of
obstacles. It was a mountain road and Jesus was waiting at the top where He could
see everything. But I had to pass the foggy road to be able to see. I didn`t know
what this meant but was ready for anything.
One day I saw another vision where turtles were coming out of all the parts
of my body and at the end, they were turning into one single turtle, which was
taken in an eagle`s claws and this eagle started to fly high in the sky. God
reminded me that He will take care even of my thyroid problems. Everything that
causes me problems because of my thyroid, will be raised and lose its power by
being destroyed so it could not affect me.
It felt so good that I cried out of happiness and thankfulness to God. Right
before my next appointment with the doctor who did the procedure, God gave me a
beautiful new experience with Him that I needed.
After my doctor saw my blood pressure report, he said that everything is
good now because even the CT scan results were good. But something was not
right because I still had heartache sometimes, that were different then what I had
before my procedure. He couldn`t really explain why I had those heartaches
because my results were good. He thought that maybe it was from something else,
not because of my heart and told me that I should check if I had some other
problems that could cause the pain. On the way home, I kept thinking about what it
could be and I thought that the doctor from internal medicine would have told me
if she would have noticed something else. When I arrived home, I wrote to my
doctor because I remembered I didn`t tell him the fact that I was doing physical
effort, by carrying heavy things again, playing games that required physical
strength, like tug of war and other physical effort that made me tired.
His response turned my life upside down again. But this time I didn`t ran
from God but to Him for better understanding. The doctor`s response was that I`m
not allowed to do any physical effort or getting too tired and this applies to my
whole life, not just during a recovery time. I thought that a piece of who I am, was
snatched away from me and I`m not going to be myself anymore. I was known for
my physical strength; my whole life was built on doing physical effort and I
couldn`t imagine not doing that anymore. I didn`t know how to deal with the
information and live with it. I didn`t even know how to tell anyone. A new season
of keeping something in secret started. And that made things even harder because I
didn`t know what to say to my family or to somebody else in case they asked me to
help with something hard. Sometimes I just tried to run away from those kinds of
situations, other times I just did it anyways and then I lived with the consequences.
First, only my sister Linda knew, then also my other sister, Friede. What was sad
was that everyone else just knew that the doctor ones told me that everything will
be normal again because back then he didn`t know what my normal was. After
three months I had to go to my next doctor’s appointment.
It was a hard season for me. I didn`t know how to explain why I was the last
one when we were going hiking, because I would never skip going to the
mountains. I thought I could go carefully without overwhelming myself. But first
time I went on a hike after the procedure, it didn`t went so well because I had some
pain when we arrived at the top. I walked away, sat down, and waited until the pain
was over, but it wasn`t easy for me. The next endocrinology appointment was no
longer so important after everything that happened before.
Another bad thing was that I felt that I could not talk about all this with my
close friends because all of them went through difficult situations themselves and I
didn`t want to add to their problems. All I had left was to get closer to God and
spend more time with Him alone, without speaking about it with anyone else. God
didn`t disappoint me because He did spoke to me and gave me answers. One time
during devos, He asked me some questions that made me understand some things
and it helped me go forward: “What is the purpose of your life? For what are you
living on this earth? For using your physical strength or for my purposes in your
life? Are you ready to surrender your life to me and truly follow me?”
I realized that giving up on doing any physical effort was giving up a significant
part of my life but at the same time, this is exactly what Jesus asks of us, to give up
the things we hold on to, so that He can give us something even greater, life in
abundance. That's how I understood that God wanted me to give up that thing that I
held onto the most and trust Him that He would fill my life with greater things. He
is the one that gives me His strength, which is more valuable than mine. However,
I did not understand how this could be a testimony of my healing? God promised
me that He would lead me until I would fully understand the why and that’s what
He did. Every time I was faced with a situation, I was not sure of, He showed me if
I should do it or not and how to do it.
Everything around me was talking to me about having weaknesses in life,
which God used for good. I was reminded of the following Bible verses where God
is being strong in our weaknesses:
- 2 Corinthians 12:9: “Each time he said, My grace is all you need. My power works best
in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ
can work through me”.
- Isaiah 40:31: “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high
on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint”.

I had a great experience where God had made me feel His love and care in a
strong way. Although I didn’t understand my whole situation clearly, He didn`t let
go on me. He demonstrated that He would give me as many words, images,
encouragements as I needed until I would finally get it. Even when I just wanted to
worship Him and don`t think about anything else, He reminded me that He won`t
let go on me, even when I tried to avoid the subject.
God blessed me with lots of experiences with Him, where He reminded me
through others that God is strong through our weaknesses and that I don`t have to
rely on my strength but let His strength be my strength, because that`s when I can
be really strong, in Spirit. Another thing that I learnt during this time was to ask for
help, even in small things because it’s okay to rely on other people’s help. These
truths began to be my reality but for some reason unknown to me, I still didn`t
have the courage to tell people about everything that God was teaching me. After a
while I could talk about these things with Jim and Becky, Mihaela and Emese and
other friends I trusted who were praying for me.
End of June, my sister Friede had her graduation in Cluj. We asked the
Leach family if we could go and sleep one night at their house so we could
celebrate that day together without having to rush back home. That day was a
Tuesday, so we were able to go to the Worship Night at the YwaM base. Alin
challenged us to think about what our comfort zone was and God instantly showed
me that mine was fear. Then He showed me a new vision where I was on a picnic
with Jesus. At the beginning I couldn`t understand why I got that picture and didn`t
pay much attention to it. Then at some point, during the worship time, Jim invited
us to declare who Jesus was for us. All I could say was that He was my Lord, all
over again. Then Jesus asked me another question that pierced my heart: “Do you
want to control the testimony of your life? Isn`t that my job? I am the One who is
in charge of that”. This changed everything, my whole perspective, my whole life;
it changed me, my life and my heart. Then He invited me again to have a picnic
with Him, on a blanket in the middle of nature. He gently asked me if I truly
surrendered my life to Him. He told me that my life would be more beautiful and
perfect, if I would truly surrender everything to Him. I would be able to keep His
peace, knowing that He`s going to be the Lord of my life and He would make a
beautiful testimony out of my life. Then I remembered one of Jimmy’s messages,
who once said: “we have to be a storm sleeper, before we are able to calm the
storm”. While I was with Jesus at the picnic, He held my hands and told me to trust
Him and surrender everything to Him. That is when I decided to give everything
over to Jesus and let Him be in control. I decided to have no more secrets and no
more worries. I didn`t care if I had to give up physical effort, if that meant I would
get everything I truly needed in exchange. Even when I don`t understand what is
going on in my life, I don’t want to be in control anymore because that doesn’t
mean that God is not present in my life. I made the decision to let Him untie my
mysteries.
After that experience I was ready to share everything with my sisters and my
brother who were all there that day. When I went home, I told my mother, my
father and all the people who asked me. Then, after Linda shared the message
about God having a Rhema word for us, He instantly gave me the word
“testimony”. This is when I knew for sure that He wanted me to share my
testimony with everybody.
In August, I spent my vacation again at Dream Guesthouse, because I had
two doctor`s appointments. First, I had to go to the internist, who told me that I
don`t have gallbladder sludge anymore and that the tea really helped. It was good
news for me. She told me that now I would have to go back to her once a year. On
the next day I went to the cardiologist doctor, who did the procedure. I gave him
the blood pressure report and he said everything looks perfect and because I didn`t
have pain anymore, he said I can be happy now and indeed I was. He didn`t have
any bad news, just good ones. He was happy for me and I was also happy and just
like the other doctor, he also told me that I would only have to go to consultations
once a year, because everything looked really good.
 It was a day of celebration. I went back to the guesthouse and celebrated
with Emese and her family. My sister Geno came the next day and joined me. I
shared the good news with Jim and Becky and Mihaela. I knew my healing process
was over, finally. I was healed, spirit, soul and body. My heart was whole again,
through Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer, my Healer and my Lord.
When I was little, I needed a miracle to be the person I am now. There is
always a reason why a miracle is happening right away or we have to wait for it.
Sometimes, times makes the testimony even bigger and better, so that it can truly
be to God`s glory. Sometimes it is difficult not to behave as I have been defined
my whole life. It’s hard to watch others carry the heavy things and not jump in to
help or to be between the last ones during a hike. It`s really challenging and I admit
that I`m avoiding going to adventure parks. But God is the one who is giving me
strength for everything I really need to do what I was always dreaming to do and to
fulfill His destiny for my life.
This season helped me understand with my heart that I am made whole,
holy, pure, perfect through Him and not because I deserve it. I am still making
mistakes, I may still fail, but my Spirit is made perfect through Him. I also
understood that there is nothing I have to do, just what I want to. I don`t have to
read the Bible, but I want to. I don`t have to pray, but I want to because this way I
am close to the One who created me and knows me the most. I don`t have to
worship, but I want to because I want to glorify God and give Him all my praise
and thanksgiving for how wonderfully He created me. He’s the one who keeps me
in His safe arms, for He is for me and I couldn`t live a day without Him. I don`t
have to love the people around me; I want to because through Him I can see
everyone like He sees them and how beautiful He made everyone. I don`t have to
be good, I want to because He was good to me and I also want others to experience
His goodness. This is an invitation from Him, when we give Him our lives; He
takes care of anything we need in a beautiful and awesome way.
Jesus allows bad things in our lives so better things would result out of it.
The devil thinks He has a plan to destroy and defeat us, but he doesn`t know that
his plans turn out to be God`s victories and testimonies in our lives. This is how it
was in my life. The devil thought he can destroy my live, but I came out on the
other side, stronger than before. I have a strong and close relationship with God
and ever since the procedure and everything that He showed me after I feel
physically stronger than before because I can take more care of myself and pain
became history.
All these years, I`ve been searching for more of God and there was a deep
longing in my heart, but I would not accept my weaknesses. I never wanted to
admit that I had weak points in my life. I always wanted to show how strong I was
and would never let go on that. I hold on to something, without seeing that God`s
desire was to be strong in our weaknesses. But first we need to understand and
surrender it to Him. I have never been stronger than now, and I am not talking
about a physical strength but a spiritual strength which strengthens my body and
everything in me for every good work God prepared for me. I feel a constant
growing in my relationship with Him.
And if you are reading my story and are asking yourself if I would have
preferred things to happen in a different way, like God giving me an instant
healing, I would say no. I don`t regret a day of everything that happened and how
God chose to work in my life, through beautiful people, healing not just my body,
but my soul and spirit.
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Bible Verses of this Chapter

1 Thessalonians 5:18:
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God`s will for you who belong to Christ
Jesus”.

Colossians 3:15:
“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one
body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful”.

Psalms 100:4:
``Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to Him
and praise His name``.

This Chapter is dedicated to acknowledge everyone who played a role in this

story.
First of all, I thank God, who gave me life and kept me alive in the first
place. I`m thankful to God for working a miracle in me when I was little and
helped my family to raise me up in a healthy way. I give thanks for He was always
with me, leading me in His way and never giving up on me, even when I failed so
many times. He always loved me and helped me when I was in need. I thank Him
for making a beautiful story out of my live that turned into a testimony. And I`m
thankful to God for all the people He placed in my life always at the right time and
the right people.
I`m thankful for my father, who believed in a miracle for my life when I
was too little to believe for myself. I`m thankful for he raised me in God`s way and
in His love so I would follow and recognize that I need God in my life. I’m
thankful for my father for he always supported me, helped me and prayed for me
when I needed. I`m thankful for his unconditional love. He always inspired me
through his heart to help people. His love and care toward people and me, was
always a great example in my life. He always encouraged me when I was
disappointed or down. His faith and endurance inspired me all through the years.
I`m thankful that God chose him to be my father.
I`m thankful for my mother who always took care of me and raised me up
in a healthy way. She patiently believed and trusted God that I would be healed.
I’m thankful for all the years she was with me in the hospitals and at every doctor
appointment. She carefully was always by my side, praying and believing for
God`s miracle when I needed it the most. She always supported me, carried me,
and loved me very well. She is always helpful and kind, even in hard times. She
gave me a good example of always trusting God. And she`s the best cook in the
world, but not just that, she`s the best mother I could ever ask for.
I`m thankful for my sister Geno, who was always caring for us like a second
mother. I`m thankful for all her advice she gave me, her help and support in my
life. I`m thankful because she helped me learn to read and write before I went to
school and loves me very much.
I`m thankful for my sister Friede, for all her support in my life. I`m
thankful that she took care of me when I was little and always heard me out, being
very intentional with me. I`m thankful for her love for me and for inspiring me
with her constant joy.
I`m thankful for my sister Rose for all her help in my life, support and all
her honest prayers over my life. I`m thankful for her because she listened to me
when I had something to say. She inspired me to always keep my relationship with
God on fire.
 I`m thankful for my sister Linda for all her help in my life and her
friendship. I`m thankful for her help in everything I needed. I`m thankful for her
love and honest support and advices in my life. Thankful for she always cared for
my spiritual, emotional and mental growth. I`m thankful for her open heart to me
and always reminding me of God`s truth over my life, highlighting them. She was
always the closest to me and I could trust her when I felt that I need to share
something without the others to know about it. Her words were always taken
serious by me because even when they were hard to accept, I always realized she
was right, which helped me grow and learn from my mistakes. I`m thankful she
never gave up on telling me what I needed to hear. Hard things are hard to accept,
but they bring wisdom and growth. For the Bible says in Proverbs 12:15: “Fools
think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others”.
I`m thankful for my brother Jonathan for all the patience he had with me
and always loving me so much, even when it was hard with me. I`m thankful for
all his help and support in my life. I`m thankful for him because he showed me
what it means to be a gentleman and a helpful man.
I`m thankful for my friends Márton and Anikó for they were always like
second parents to us, taking care of us when our parents needed help. Márton also
helped me many times by taking me to doctor appointments when my father,
brother or sister were not able to and they both helped me in this hard season. They
encouraged me on the day when I went to the cardiologist who did the procedure.
I`m thankful for Jim for being such a great friend and a spiritual father. I`m
thankful for him for he always taught me and encouraged me to trust God and His
faithfulness in my life. He always helped me and loved me so well. He always saw
me when I felt invisible and empowered me, highlighting my values in Jesus and
believed in my potential and dreams from God. He always prayed for me whenever
I needed. He`s been impacting my life ever since I know him because his life
inspires me a lot. I`m thankful for his good and honest advices and that he always
encouraged me to seek God and His presence in every situation of my life. I`m
thankful for his powerful anointing during worship and also when sharing
messages from God.
I`m thankful for Becky for her tender heart. I`m thankful for how well she
always loved me and encouraged me. Without her, this story would have not
existed. She listened to me and read my messages. When I needed prayer, she was
there and not just prayed but declared God`s truth over my life. I`m thankful for all
the time she spent with me to encourage me and empowered me to become a
powerful woman and follower of Jesus. I`m thankful for her inspiring life that
reflects the life of Jesus in such a wonderful way. I`m thankful for her love of dogs
and for Shana, being her Godmother. I`m thankful for her kindness and friendship.
Thankful that I can call her my spiritual mother, impacting my life from the first
day I met her. She encouraged me and helped me have courage to always share
important information with my family. She also encouraged me to trust in God
when it was hard to trust in anything or anyone. I`m thankful for her for she always
saw the value in people and treated them accordingly. I`m thankful for she taught
me that it`s okay to have different feelings, good and bad, but that those never
change the truth of who God is and that God loves us no matter what our feelings
are. I`m thankful for her powerful and beautiful voice and anointing during
worship and that she`s always open to what Holy Spirit wants to say through her.
I`m thankful for Mihaela, a true friend in every time, in good and in bad, in
easy and joyful times and in hard times. I`m thankful for all her encouragements
and prayers. I`m thankful for all her encouraging resources she sent me and for her
unconditional love and support every single time. I`m thankful for her, being
always available, even when she faced difficult times as well.
 I`m thankful for Emese for all her help and encouraging words she gave me.
I`m thankful for the time spent together with her beautiful daughters and her
husband. She was the only one who could always tell me good things about doctors
and medical stuff, that we can find good examples as well, not just bad ones, which
actually helped me when I had to go to all the appointments and even to the
hospital. I`m thankful for her and for her husband, for always giving me the
opportunity to sleep in their beautiful Guesthouse when I needed time alone with
God and to go to a few doctor appointments.
I`m thankful for Alin, the leader at the YwaM Cluj. I`m thankful for his
prayers and powerful prophetic words over me. I`m thankful that through him, God
blessed me and encouraged me a lot. He was always open to what Holy Spirit
wanted to do. He impacted my life with all his words, ideas, worship and way of
life.
I`m thankful for YwaM staff and all those who joined the worship nights
and making it possible. I`m thankful for all the live streaming, through which I
could always join them and be blessed. I`m thankful for all the prayers they raised
up to heaven for me. I`m thankful for the prophetic words and images I received
through the worship nights.
I`m thankful for my best friend Szidi, who was always such a good friend
for me, since our childhood. She always loved me, helped me and we spent a lot of
time together. She encouraged me so many times and helped me measure my blood
pressure before I had my own blood pressure monitor.
I`m thankful for my teacher from primary school. She believed in me when
others didn`t and motivated me. Besides teaching me a lot of basic things from
school, she taught me important life lessons, which helped me in my future life.
I`m thankful for my youth leader from Oradea who always cared about me
and encouraged me and prayed for me a lot.
 I`m thankful for the young pastor in Oradea who changed a lot of
perspectives in my life, regarding faith, beliefs and God himself.
I`m thankful for Jessica, for all her prayers and encouragements. For
supporting me a lot of times, encouraging me, giving me prophetic words and
images and for being intentional with me. I`m thankful for her friendship and her
honest and kind heart, which encouraged me a lot. She inspired me to ask more
prophetic words from God, through the prophetic exercise ideas she always had at
connection groups and devos.
I`m thankful for my Mission colleagues who prayed for me and encouraged
me a lot of times, for all their advice and suggestions. I`m thankful for their love
and help for me.
I`m thankful for Jimmy and Genea and all their support in my life, all their
help, encouragements and prayers for me. I`m thankful for the stone I got from
Genea and that she never gave up on me and challenged me to grow. I`m thankful
for the unforgettable message Jimmy shared about the storm sleeper that helped me
to stop worry about my health. But even more than that, I`m thankful for all their
words from God and for them coming to Romania. I’m thankful they exist in my
life.
I`m thankful for Mira, who ever since she came to us encouraged me and
loved me like I was. I`m thankful because she always carefully listened to what I
had to say and always supported me and helped me. I`m thankful for all her honest
conversations with me. She was always trustworthy when I needed somebody I
could trust in. I`m thankful that our relationship is beyond just cousins, it`s a close
sister relationship.
I`m thankful for my cousin Rachel, who loved me and helped me a lot. I`m
thankful for all her encouragements and her prayers. She became more than a sister
to me and I`m thankful for that.
 I`m thankful for the Passion Translation, for all their devotional emails
they send, which always encouraged me and helped me in my process. They were
like God speaking to me.
I`m thankful for Andrew and Chris who always prayed for me before and
after my doctor appointments and even between them. They encouraged me,
supported and heard me out when I didn`t have who to turn to and I needed to
process hard things I went through. I`m thankful for their love and care for me.
I`m thankful for the Mission Church family, including my connection
group who prayed for me and encouraged me.
I`m thankful for The Chosen series, which helped me remember how much
Jesus loves me and what He did in my life. It helped me understand the Gospels
with my heart, not just with my mind. It touched me and I felt Holy Spirit filling
my Spirit and refreshing me. I`m thankful that through their episodes, God gave
me a sign that I should go to the hospital.
I`m thankful for my friend on social media who shared the post that was a
sign from God in my process. And if that man would ever read this and recognize
that it’s him I’m talking about, I ask him to text me.
I`m thankful for my instructor for making my dream to drive, possible. He
had so much patience with me during my driving lessons and always knew how to
encourage and motivate me to get better. I`m thankful for his honesty and his time
in teaching me to drive. He also shared some ways to learn the theory part better
and easier.
I`m thankful for my internist doctor who turned out to be my angel; the
angel in the vision Jessica shared with me. She did a great job with me; she not just
did what was her job, but much more than that. She managed and coordinated my
whole process from the beginning to the end, being available and showing interest
in my well-being, always helping me in everything I needed. She encouraged me
and motivated me to move on and don`t stop in my healing process when it was
hard. She was always treating me with professionalism, kindness, love, care and
patience. Because of her I always continued and because of her I started to trust
doctors. Trusting her, I trusted the other doctors she recommended and the doctors
recommended by them. The whole story was possible because of her.
I`m thankful for my endocrinology doctor, for helping me rediscover what
was to be done with my thyroid health. She also reminded me of the fact that I`m a
miracle, which I needed to appreciate God more for what He did in my life. I`m
thankful for her encouraging words and words she said that made me think of my
future and my dreams.
I`m thankful for the doctor who helped me with some other health concerns
I had, which turned out that were no problems and I could be relieved.
I`m thankful for my first cardiology doctor discovering my diagnoses and
finding the problem of my heartaches. I`m thankful that she treated me with much
care, tenderness, professionalism and kindness. I`m thankful that she was cautious
with me which made me realize she really wanted my best. She motivated me to
start being interested in my health situation, continuing this process to be healed.
She helped me when I needed help from her for my next steps, giving me advice
and sending me to a CT scan. I`m thankful that she recommended me the other
doctor.
I`m very thankful for my cardiology doctor who did the procedure and
everything he did for me. He treated me with high professionalism, care, kindness,
empathy, patience, interest and compassion. I`m thankful for all his help and
explanations about the procedure and advice for staying healthy, even if they were
hard to apply. Sometimes good things are hard and he had to tell me a few hard
things, which wasn’t easy, but I`m thankful he did it anyway. This way he helped
me to change my lifestyle and habits that were not good for me. I`m thankful for
him because he solved my problems and healed me. Because of him I don`t have
the heartaches anymore and knowing that the stent he implanted in my aorta solved
my problem, makes me confident and at peace.
I`m thankful for all the doctors, nurses and medical staff in the hospital
who were so kind to me all the time, changing my view about hospitals. They all
treated me well, with kindness, much care and respect.
“I
T’SALLABOUT THE HEART”
byAt
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