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Separate Mothering and Fathering The Plurality of Parenting Within The Framework of Postdivorce Shared Parenting Norms
Separate Mothering and Fathering The Plurality of Parenting Within The Framework of Postdivorce Shared Parenting Norms
Sofia Marinho
To cite this article: Sofia Marinho (2017) Separate Mothering and Fathering: The Plurality of
Parenting Within the Framework of Postdivorce Shared Parenting Norms, Journal of Divorce &
Remarriage, 58:4, 288-309, DOI: 10.1080/10502556.2017.1305852
ABSTRACT KEYWORDS
This article explores the components and the plurality of everyday Child custody; everyday
parenting among separated mothers and fathers. Drawing on an parenting; separate
online survey of 114 mothers and fathers, it presents a topological fathering; separate
analysis of mothers’ and fathers’ childrearing activities and decision mothering; shared parenting
norms
making; unilateral, parallel, and negotiated relationships; residence
and contact; and legal orders. The findings revealed 5 mothering
and fathering patterns: unilateral, traditional residential, and inter-
changeable mothering, and involved nonresidential and inter-
changeable fathering. They disclose the relational and gendered
structures of motherhood and fatherhood practice and social
representation that are shaping postseparation parenting within
the legal framework of shared parenting.
CONTACT Sofia Marinho scmarinho@ics.ul.pt Research Fellow, Institute of Social Sciences, University of
Lisbon, Av. Professor Aníbal de Bettencourt, 9, Lisbon 1600-189, Portugal.
© 2017 Taylor & Francis Group, LLC
JOURNAL OF DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE 289
whether the new arrangements for joint legal custody and joint physical
custody were helping to increase the levels of paternal involvement and the
parenting cooperation between parental partners (Nielsen, 2011). Although
the mothers’ traditional practice, roles, and identity as the exclusive primary
parent were called into question by the new shared parenting principles, their
views on their own involvement and on parental cooperation received much
less attention than their views about the fathers’ involvement (Kruk, 2015).
Research has tended to focus on measuring the intensity or frequency of
paternal involvement in restricted domains of childrearing activities and in
major decisions about how the child should be raised (Day & Lamb, 2004;
Pasley & Minton, 1997). Analytical approaches have drawn on variations of
Lamb’s (1986) three-part construct of engagement, accessibility, and respon-
sibility; on its association with McHale, Khazan Erera, Rotman, DeCourcey,
and McConnell’s (2002) coparenting construct of conflict, communication,
and collaboration; and on paternal involvement and coparental interaction
scales (Moyer, 2004; Pasley & Braver, 2004). Typical measurements include
level of father–child contact or estrangement; level of participation by the
father in decision making; child-support payment (Amato, Meyers, & Emery,
2009; Madden-Derdich, & Stacie, 2000; Moyer, 2004; Seltzer, 1998); and
levels of conflict, communication, and cooperation between the parents
(Arditti & Kelly, 1994; McHale et al., 2002).
However, the different forms of involvement in the various aspects of
parenting1 have frequently been too narrowly measured and defined, as
Palkovitz (1997) and Pasley and Braver (2004) argued. This also applies to
the reporting of parental involvement in residence or contact with the child,
given that each parent’s actual time with the child was either ignored or
measured crudely and living arrangements were often only measured by
custody type (Sodermans, Vanassche, Matthijs, & Swicegood, 2014).
This article argues that to gain a better understanding of the possible
effects of the legal reform on postseparation parenting, it is important to
explore (a) the multidimensionality and plurality of both the mothers’ and
fathers’ parenting; and (b) the question of whether the relations between
traditional models and the new models of mothering and fathering generated
by shared parenting norms are reformulating the social space of postsepara-
tion parenting.
The analysis draws on sociological perspectives of the dynamics of family life,
taking in particular a theoretical approach to family practices (Morgan, 2011).
This perspective provides an analytical framework for conceptualizing parental
involvement as the practice of everyday parenting and, therefore, as one of the
elements of family practice that overlaps with gender (Morgan, 2011). Building
1
Palkovitz (1997, p. 216) referred to the following parenting aspects: planning, providing, protection, emotional
support, communication, teaching, monitoring, thought processes, errands, availability, affection, caregiving,
maintenance, shared activities, and shared interests.
290 S. MARINHO
on this theoretical approach and previous research, the article maintains that
postseparation parental involvement is multidimensional and plural because it
entails the interplay of four social processes: (a) how mothers and fathers can, in
their different ways, bring together a variety of different childrearing activities
and decisions in their everyday parenting; (b) how everyday parenting is linked
with unilateral, parallel, or negotiated relationships with the children and
between the parents; (c) how that parenting is located in family times and spaces
that are framed by residence and contact, and in the social structures of family
life, which can operate as structures of restraint or support for it; and, finally, (d)
how, through these processes, parents set up parental and gender roles and
identity (Kaufmann, 1994).
To explore these theoretical assumptions, the analysis focused on five
research questions:
and fathers’ perceptions of the activities and decision making in which they
are engaged and that of their parental partner; (b) the unilateral, parallel, and
negotiated nature of this engagement; (c) residence and contact routines; (d)
the legal arrangements (sole custody, joint legal custody, or joint physical
custody); and (e) the social and gender contexts in which mothering and
fathering is experienced.
In the following section, the article briefly discusses the research on every-
day parenting among separated mothers and fathers and on its relationship
with the legal reforms connected with shared parenting.
can engage in either leisure-only activities or mixed activities (i.e., ones that also
involve school-related activities) and argued that nonresident parents “are not
completely uninvolved in their children’s daily lives.” Moreover, she stated that
these patterns of involvement are an “adaptive strategy” in the light of the
constraints of contact relationships.
The studies of Côté (2000) and Neyrand (2004) showed that the parenting of
joint physical custody mothers and fathers is organized around similar, parallel
routines that are shaped by their paid work and their children’s school schedules.
Both parents have individualized relationships with the children and see their
practice as reflecting symmetrical and complementary roles in parenting and in
paid work. In contrast to Neale and Smart’s (1997) study, Côté (2000) advanced
that the parents’ engagement in parental authority can be negotiated or parallel,
thus confirming the evidence in the Maccoby, Depner, and Mnookin (1990)
study. Mothers might continue to give important support to fathers, as Neale
and Smart (1997) sustained, particularly on the level of coordinating family and
work responsibilities, although fathers might also want to act as autonomous
parents (Côté, 2000; Marinho, 2011).
This relationship between parental care and parental authority lies at the
core of the shared parenting legislation across different countries. In fact,
one of the latter’s main features was the separation of parental authority
from residence and contact with the child (Neyrand, 2009). This set the
stage for a shift from the system of the mother’s sole residential care and
authority, with access for the father, toward models of joint legal custody
and joint physical custody. In the former, shared decision making regard-
ing the “most important issues of the child’s life” is combined with sole
residence and contact care. In the latter, shared decision making on the
most important issues is combined with dual residence and care (35–50%
of the time; Nielsen, 2011).
Portugal’s crude divorce rate has been above the European average since 2002,
reaching a value of 2.4% in 2012 (INE, Annual Crude Divorce Rate, 2015). In the
last decades, double-earner couples with young children became a widely accepted
norm and practice in Portugal, reflecting the high female full-time activity rates
throughout the childbearing years: above 80% for women 25 to 44 years old,
between 2001 and 2012 (INE, Active Population, 2015). There is evidence that
the division of family work within the couple has been changing toward gender-
balanced arrangements, and that this has been changing and diversifying father-
hood and motherhood. Despite variation in men’s involvement with parenting,
most fathers see fatherhood as being about breadwinning, child care, and having
close relationships with children (Marinho, 2011). This took place in the context of
work–family and gender policy and legal frameworks that implemented gender
equality in marriage, provided support for work–family reconciliation for both
sexes and, more recently, fatherhood rights and men’s involvement in child care
(e.g., leave policies).
JOURNAL OF DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE 293
The norm of joint custody (termed joint paternal power) was introduced as
an option in Portuguese family law in 1995,2 on the presumption of sole custody
(usually maternal). The law did not specify whether the basis of joint custody
should be interpreted as merely legal or both legal and physical (i.e., with shared
residence). The 2008 Divorce Act3 suppressed the concept of paternal power and
replaced it with that of parental responsibility. Shared parental responsibility,
which is equivalent to the concept of joint legal custody, has become the rule and
sole parental responsibility the exception. The law established that the children
in these cases should have one residential parent and keep a close relationship
with both parents, who, together, should then make the major decisions about
their upbringing. Joint physical custody does not figure in the law as an explicit
option.
Census data from 2001 and 2011 suggest that the standard package of
maternal residential care and paternal access (Smyth, 2004), which took root
over decades in Portuguese society, remained prevalent after the legal reform
(Marinho, 2014)—a position supported by a recent study on court parenting
orders (Pedroso, Casaleiro, & Branco, 2014). This means that collective
representations of traditional sex roles and work patterns in the family
continued to be the main normative foundation both for the parenting
practices of separated parents and the interpretation and application of the
new law by the legal actors. However, alongside this, certain family judges
have since 1995 issued joint physical custody orders to parents who ask for
them. Additionally, research shows that some parents do not comply with
court orders giving sole or joint legal custody, but rather opt for shared
residence arrangements (Marinho, 2011).
Thus, on one hand, there is no consensus in Portuguese jurisprudence on the
benefits for the children or the legality of joint physical custody orders. On the
other hand, despite not having access to an institutional framework that vali-
dates shared residence arrangements universally, parents are engaging in shared
residence parenting and, thereby, incorporating equal parenting representations
and practice into postseparation parenthood (Marinho, 2011). This scenario
reveals the normative contradictions that are being formed in social relations by
the coexistence of traditional and late modern social representations of the
parental and gender roles of women and men in the postseparation family.
They are largely connected with the tensions created by the use of gender to
define whether the interest of the child in divorce is best served by continuity of
the traditional gender differentiation of parental roles or by the institutionaliza-
tion of gender-equal ones—thereby accepting the changes in motherhood and
fatherhood being built by a large proportion of couples who did not undergo a
separation. This context makes Portugal a special observation platform from
2
Law 84/95 (August 31, 1995).
3
Law 61/2008 (October 31, 2008).
294 S. MARINHO
which to explore the plurality of the separate mothering and fathering that is
being shaped by the incorporation of shared parenting norms into family
relationships.
Sample
The sample was nonprobabilistic and nonrepresentative. It included the reports of
107 parents: 72% were mothers and 28% were fathers, from varying parental
dyads. They were either separated (41%) or divorced (59%), mostly (80%) after the
2008 legal reform. Most parents (52%) were living in single-parent households,
39% in reconstituted family households, 6% on their own, and 3% in households
of couples with or without children. The distribution of the respondents’ youngest
children’s age groups was as follows: up to 6 years old, 31.5%; 7 to 11 years old,
48%; and 12 to 16 years old, 20%. The respondents’ average age was 39 and that of
their parental partner was 40. Most respondents (75%) lived in the metropolitan
area of Lisbon; of the others, 9% lived in the northern region, 6% in the central
region, and 8% in the southern region of Portugal.
The study was exempted from institutional review board review. Even so,
ethical research practice was ensured. First, the response to the online survey was
anonymous. Second, the name and contact of the author and of the research
center in which the study was being done were given to participants on the
information sheet, which explained that they could ask any question about the
study and the use of the information gathered in the survey before deciding to
participate. Third, the informed consent made clear that participation in the
JOURNAL OF DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE 295
study was voluntary, and that the respondents could withdraw their consent at
any time, before and after completing the survey, without suffering any con-
sequences. Finally, the participant’s privacy and confidentiality were guaranteed
by data protection procedures, which included the data being accessible to and
analyzed only by the author, and data encryption.
Passive variables
The descriptive analysis results showed that parent–child residence and contact
was the only variable that differentiated legal parental responsibility arrange-
ments and engagement in parental activities and decisions. Most family life
variables (the conjugal situation before and after divorce or separation, number
of children, etc.) and socioeconomic variables (social class, professional life
indicators, etc.) did not differentiate any of the variables in the parenting
298 S. MARINHO
practice construct. The exceptions were the youngest child’s age group (up to 6,
7–11, and 12–16) and the educational attainment levels of the respondents and
their parental partner (up to secondary and tertiary education), which were
associated with the parent–child residence variable. Therefore, these three
variables were projected in the MCA as passive variables.
The following section presents the results of the MCA. It provides a
comprehensive interpretation of the mothering and fathering constellations
that shape the topology of postseparation parenting.
Results
Topology of separate mothering and fathering
This study sought to understand whether mothers and fathers combine
childrearing activities and decisions in different ways in their practice of
everyday parenting; the interplay of these different combinations with the
unilateral, parallel, and negotiated nature of family relationships; and the role
of the relationship of residence and contact and legal parenting orders in
shaping them. The MCA results revealed that the relational space of post-
separation parenting is structured by the interplay of three dimensions
(Table 1), each shaping the involvement of mothers and fathers in different
combinations of domains of activity and decision making, residence and
contact, and legal parental responsibility plans.
Dimension 1 structures the association between residence with the child
and child-care activities (Activities 1–5 and 9), on the one hand, and school-
ing decisions (Decisions 7 and 8), on the other. It sets the unilateral practice
of exclusive and standard residence mothers (under sole and standard shared
legal responsibility parenting plans) against the parallel and negotiated prac-
tice of shared residence mothers and fathers (under shared responsibility and
residence parenting plans).
Dimension 2 shows that everyday decision making (1–5) is a particular
domain of practice, separate from engagement in parental activities and
schooling decisions. It contrasts the nonresident father’s parallel, everyday
decision making (under standard shared legal responsibility plans) with the
unilateral decision making of exclusive residence mothers (under sole
responsibility plans).
Dimension 3 associates affective, play, and guidance activities (6–8) with
leisure and guidance decisions (3–5), separating unilateral practices from
parallel and negotiated practices.
These results show not only various unique combinations of domains of
parenting activities and decisions in mothers’ and fathers’ involvement, but
also that these combinations are linked with relations of association and
opposition among unilateral, parallel, and negotiated family relationships.
JOURNAL OF DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE 299
Moreover, they show that these processes are differentiated by residence and
contact and legal parenting plans.
This study also sought to understand whether these components of par-
enting build particular forms of separate mothering and fathering, and to
what extent they reflect the participation of mothers and fathers in the
cultural and social changes underlying the legal framework of shared parent-
ing. The intersection of Dimensions 1 and 2 (Figure 1) and Dimensions 1
and 34 (Figure 2) formed six constellations of maternal and paternal parent-
ing, three in each factorial plane. They were shaped by different groups of
mothers, fathers, or both, who shared the same parenting practice and social
representation of parental and gender roles and identity, thereby revealing
plural forms of mothering and fathering and the systems of parenting
practice and social representation in which they are embedded.
The six constellations represented five main mothering and fathering
patterns that structure the social space of postseparation parenting: unilateral
mothering, traditional residential mothering, involved nonresidential father-
ing, interchangeable mothering, and interchangeable fathering. The main
features of each pattern are described in the following sections.
4
The intersection of Dimensions 2 and 3 was not used in the analysis as it did not shape new constellations.
300 S. MARINHO
Unilateral mothering
Unilateral mothering emerged in the C2 and C5 constellations and is repre-
sented by mothers who are unilaterally involved in all childrearing activities
and decision- making, under sole responsibility parenting plans. In this
study, unilateral mothering underpinned solo mothering and father-depre-
ciative mothering.
5
The survey included measures of conflict between the parents, which were analyzed to check if conflict was
associated with depreciation of the father’s parenting (analysis not shown).
302 S. MARINHO
parallel parenting in standard residence and contact can also include valida-
tion of the autonomy and importance of the father’s contact influence in the
child’s everyday upbringing, by mothers and fathers alike.
The C4 constellation is situated in Quadrant 1 (Q1) of the factorial plane
“1, 3” (Figure 2). It reveals a group of standard nonresident fathers of 7- to
11-year-olds and 12- to 16-year-olds, under standard shared responsibility
plans. They registered up to secondary educational levels, as did their par-
ental partners. These fathers stated that they were as involved as mothers in
affective, play, and guidance activities (6–8) and were engaged in negotiating
all decisions.
This second group of nonresident fathers also associates child care with living
most of the time with the child. Nevertheless, it differs from the previous group in
that its members consider themselves as engaged as their parental partners in
emotional intimacy, childrearing responsiveness, and recreational interactions
toward their absent child, both through activities and decision making. Hence,
this group of nonresident fathers reveals another pattern of practice that goes
beyond the Disneyland type. Moreover, this result suggests that there are non-
resident fathers who, despite the constraints of the contact relationships, are
incorporating key aspects of the new cultural models of involved and relational
fatherhood into their fathering. An example of this is the importance given to the
quality of father–child relationships and parental coordination (Castelain-
Meunier, 2002).
The C4 constellation also reveals that resident mothers and nonresident
fathers might not engage solely in parallel coordination. Instead, they might
engage in combining their individual childrearing projects and styles through
parental negotiation, despite the major role of the mother in the
implementation.
plans. This group also reported that both parents were engaged in all parental
activities. Contrary to the previous group, they were involved in parallel everyday
decisions (1–5) and negotiated decisions about schooling (6–7). In both groups,
mothers and fathers, along with their parental partners, tend to have attained
tertiary education.
The perceptions of these two groups of shared residence mothers and
fathers revealed a matrix of experiences of interchangeable parenting that is
anchored in a gender-neutral structure of parenting. The mother and father
both engage in the same childrearing activities and decision making and see
themselves and each other as capable of replacing and being replaced by the
other, equally competent and responsible caregivers, and equally important
parents for their child’s well-being.
Thus, in this study, interchangeable mothering is shaped by the practice
and perceptions of father-inclusive and egalitarian mothers. They differ from
unilateral and traditional residential mothers in not being engaged in the
residence-contact system and in the underlying gender differentiation of
parental roles and identity. By sharing with fathers the residence with the
child, these mothers are changing traditional patterns of separate mothering
and fathering. The same can be said of the fathers engaged in interchangeable
fathering, as their parenting practice and perceptions show that they are fully
involved fathers. Contrary to disengaged and involved nonresident fathers,
their practice is anchored in rotating residence with the child, which enriches
their practice with the full range of childrearing activities and decisions that
build daily family life.
The C1 and C6 constellations show that parental coordination between shared
residence parents also operates through negotiated or parallel decision making, or
by a combination of the two. This is consistent with previous research, which
shows that these two forms of parental coordination are common to postsepara-
tion families in which the father remains involved (Maccoby et al., 1990; Nielsen,
2011). Moreover, parallel coordination under shared residence arrangements
displays a more balanced level of power between the parents over how the children
should be raised than in the case of standard residence and contact, as neither of
them is excluded from participating in most of their children’s daily lives.
The results are limited methodologically by the sample size, the fathers’
underrepresentation, and the absence of standard nonresidence mothers and
exclusive and standard residence fathers. Nevertheless, the topological ana-
lysis of the mothers’ and fathers’ reports captured an integrated overview of
plurality in their parenting practice and in their perceptions of parental and
gender roles and identity. This was achieved by uncovering five main
mothering and fathering patterns: unilateral mothering, traditional residen-
tial mothering, interchangeable mothering, involved nonresidential fathering,
and interchangeable fathering.
These patterns established the association of plurality in separate mother-
ing and fathering with the interplay of mothers’ and fathers’ engagement in
particular combinations of childrearing activities and decision making; the
unilateral, parallel, and negotiated nature of this engagement; and how this
engagement is related with the relationship of residence, contact, and legal
parenting orders. Moreover, these patterns revealed the relational structures
of parenting practice and social representation that are shaping the social
space of postseparation parenting. They are gendered structures with a
subjective and objective nature, as they tend to operate as parenting disposi-
tions (Lahire, 2011) and identities (Kaufmann, 1994), although, in addition,
as parenting constraints or resources that are anchored either in traditional
or late modern cultural models of motherhood and fatherhood, or a combi-
nation of both.
Unilateral mothering takes in solo and father-depreciative mothering. It is
connected with the mother’s perceptions of paternal disengagement and mater-
nal primacy in parenting. This is a traditional pattern of acute asymmetry
between mothers and fathers in all aspects of parenthood—which the literature
has associated with the effects of the relationship between gendered ideologies of
men’s inadequacy as parents and the legal provision of sole parental responsi-
bility (Pasley & Minton, 1997). The results showed that the legal provision of
shared responsibility continues to endorse paternal absence and devaluation, by
validating unilateral mothering models by means of sole parental responsibility
orders. Contrary to what is required by law, they are not issued specifically to
protect the mother or child from violence or abuse.
Traditional residential mothering and involved nonresidential fathering
displayed a traditional gendered structure of specialized parenting. For the
group of traditional resident mothers, residence is associated with unilateral
care, so the role of the father is only to engage in parallel everyday decisions
during contact. In contrast to shared legal responsibility norms, fathers tend
to be excluded from the negotiation of important decisions.
The two groups of involved nonresident fathers valued maternal care more
than their own. However, neither of the groups engaged in a Disneyland style
of practice, which is consistent with Stewart’s (1999) study. Additionally, they
both revealed patterns of nonresident fathering that were not clearly
306 S. MARINHO
patterns of separate mothering and fathering that this study did not reveal,
but also a better understanding of the association of these patterns to the
position of mothers and fathers in the social stratification structure. To
provide deeper insights into mothers’ and fathers’ parenting experiences
and perceptions of parental practice, gender roles, and identity, future
research should complement survey data with in-depth interviews. This
would shed light on how professionals can address the obstacles to the
equal access of children to a significant relationship with both parents
after separation or divorce, such as gender structures of paternal
incompetence.
Funding
The research that informs this article was fully sponsored by the FCT Portuguese Funding
Agency for Science and Technology by Grant SFRH/BPD/84273/2012.
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