(I will begin by saying that )The Supreme Tribunal is trying to erase the law that banned

women of wearing a burka in public places, suing that women should wear it by their own
election. But do they understand that this is not women´s decision?

(On the one hand,) These girls who wears a burka have not haven´t (en textos formales no se
usan las contracciones) the privilege of choosing to wear it or not. (On the other hand), The
Men (el hombre de manera generalizada y haciendo referencia al sexo masculino, sin artículo)
around them decide not only if she ought to wear this garment, but also what she can say, do
or even if she should work and being in contact with other people or not.

Because of the lacking of decision in their own life, (women just go ahead with what men in
her family think is better for her) esta frase esta un poco extraña. Yo hubiera explicado primero
la situacion del hombre en la familia: Is a fact well known that the role of men in Muslim
families is more like a dictator and women are subject to their decisions, even if that means
hiding her abilities, intelligence and dreams.

In the point of view of men, this is only for to protect her from other males. But this is not
protection, showed by the biggest amount of women rapped in countries with the (law of
burka) burka as an obligation. than a country the decision of wearing it it´s only hers. (Esta
frase no tiene sentido , no guarda relación alguna con la anterior)

In my opinion, the decision of wearing burka belongs to women themselves.

So the tribunal is not giving valid arguments ( and a solution, but running away because of not
knowing how to resolve this conflict that involves a religion.)

No siempre lo que pensamos en español concuerda directamente en inglés. Intenta simplificar

las frases. Todo lo que escribas será usado en tu contra.

In short, the Tribunal is not giving valid arguments, they just give an easy solution because of
they do not know how to resolve a conflict which involves a religious issue.

Por otro lado me he dado cuenta que no usas ningún marcador discursivo. Ni para empezar, ni
para desarrollar ideas, contraponerlas, dar tu opinión y ni para cerrar el texto. Te he puesto
varias. Hay muchas más. Hazte una lista de marcadores discursivos en inglés. Ya sólo con eso
sumas palabras y te da opciones cuando te quedes bloqueada.