to the woman that loved me before i was born

to the woman that held my heart

long before
it had formed
to the woman who was left sleepless from dusk until dawn
with weakness upon weakness for nine months long
telling herself it would all be worth it soon as she rest assured
for when she finally made it through to that hospital ward
it was love at first sight
the second she saw
me
i mean she’s the type that would give up her only slippers just to make sure that
my toes were warm
see
she would always favour me despite the fact she always needed it more
she would
wake up early every single morn
to stand freezing in the cold, hanging up the clothes we had worn
standing at the stove for hours
cooking bowls of food, we would swarm
and whenever we weren’t home
her heart would be torn
i mean she can never ever sleep whenever we were gone
she will stay up all night next to the phone although i would never call
so she sends me text messages 
Please, I can’t sleep..just let me know that you’re safe and secure

and whenever i was sick

she would always know what was the cure
i mean the love she gave to me was the best medicine that was pure

a prescription of tea
honey
and
handmade lemonade

what more could I ask for

Alhamdulillah
all praise to the Lord
you did it all for me and not once ever asked for a reward
i mean
i still remember the nights when i was small
i could never go to sleep until i would call to you from out the bedroom door

3atini wa bawsini, tuck me in and kiss me please

and you would

always be there for sure
see
the love you gave to me for all these years its impossible to ignore

i love you, Ya Yumaa

(i love you, Mum)

and i’m sorry i’ve never told you all this before
i’m sorry for everything Mum, i’m sorry for it all
i’m sorry for leaving you as soon as you taught me how to crawl
i’m sorry for saying

Uff

every time you would ask me to complete a simple chore

it doesn’t make me less of a man to give you a hand
whenever your arms get sore
i’m sorry again and again for all the promises i fell short
and i’m
sorry i can’t give you the life you wish for
the car you dreamt of and the countries you wish to explore

but most of all

i’m sorry for all the pain that i caused
for the nights you didn’t sleep and for all those missed calls
for all the fights we had and for all the broken walls
the dirty room with the messy floors and for the clothes that weren’t packed
back into their draws
and for all the sacrifices you made that i
never once ever recalled
like when you became my mother
it meant that you had to move away from yours
i know how much you love her, and miss her and i know it cuts you deep like a
sword
but if it was up to me i’d let you see her as much as i can afford so i
promise to make it up to you
and become the son that you’ve
always adored
from now on

so forgive me
forgive me for it all
forgive me for everything i’ve ever done
ever since i was young, stupid and dumb, just looking to have fun

dear Mum
i love you
i love you
i promise to never put anybody else above you nor let anybody come in between
and even if i get married i
promise you will
always be my queen
because there’s no words in this world that can let you know how much you
really mean
to me
nor is there
anyway in this world that i could ever repay you
so instead i pray every day for you
that Allah has mercy on you
the same way you had mercy on me
and i have one last request for you before you leave

Please

since Allah put Paradise beneath your feet

please ask Allah to let Paradise be the place where we
finally meet

Ameen