@highlysensitivefamily

Screentime Guide
Your guide to more effortlessly watching
TV shows & Movies with your highly
sensitive kids

www.highlysensitivefamily.com 2022
 What's In This Guide
How It Started...
Last week I shared with the HSF instagram community how challenging
it can be to find a movie my son could tolerate. TV shows don't seem to
pose as much of a problem for us - on the whole, TV shows tend to have
much less violence, death & loss - but movies that aren't "too much" can
be really hard to find.

And wow did I ever receive a response to that. Floods and floods of
messages came in saying "Us Too!" "Me Too!" "I Thought We Were The
Only Ones!"

So I did what one does when one has a fairly large community at her
finger tips and I asked everyone to share their favourite "sensitive-
friendly" movies & shows. And the response was overwhelming -
everyone came out to share their favourites and so I thought it would be
a nice a way to thank you for supporting me & my small business, to
compile them all into one easy to find document.

Now keep in mind, all of our kids are different, and just because a movie
or show worked for someone else, doesn't mean it will work for your
child. And a show tolerated by a 6-year-old, might not be as easily
tolerated by a 3-year-old (Just looking at the list, I can already see that
there are a bunch on there that did not go over well with my son when
tried).

But before we go there, let's talk a little bit about screens & the highly
sensitive child, plug I'm going to share some of our own personal screen
journey!

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 1

 What's Up With Screentime?
Let's Start With Sensitivity
For highly sensitive kids, finding a just-right show or movie can be a real
challenge. It sure has been for us. I'll never forget the first time I put The
Grinch on for my son - I was so excited to be watching our first Christmas
movie together (I think he was 3 years old). We got about five minutes in
and he was absolutely terrified. Off it went.

And then just yesterday, after I'd gone through all the community
submissions that you'll find coming up in this guide, I decided to try one
of them out - My Neighbor Totoro - and just watching an animated bear
sneeze and blow a little girl across the screen brought my son to tears. It
was just too much.

For our highly sensitive kids there are a few reasons why some shows &
movies can feel like "too much."

And to understand why we have to understand that on both a sensory &

emotional level, our kids are taking in an exceptional amount of stimuli.

But if we really want to tease apart what this all looks like when it comes
to screentime, we first have to understand what it is to be highly
sensitive person. So let's start there.

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 2

 What's With Sensitivity?
There Are 4 Facets To The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP):
1) Depth of Processing
This is the main characteristic of being an HSP and it means that HSPs absorb
more information from their surroundings and spend more time deeply
analyzing it, reflecting on it, worrying about it, often just outside our awareness.
This means that when it comes to watching tv & movies, our kids are not only
taking in far more information than the average child, but they're analyzing
more details and thinking/worrying more about the things they are seeing.

2) Overstimulation
Because they're taking in & processing all this information, they're more likely
to be overstimulated by it. And because of that overstimulation, we'll often see
big emotions, fear or sadness during the show, prompting them to ask us to
turn it off. But also, for others, it's only once the show is finished that we see all
of that dysregulation showing up in their bodies. A sign of that overstimulation
while watching a show can often be that zoning out that we can see - where
you can't pull them away from what they're watching or engage them in any
way - and then as soon as we turn it off the show, we get the meltdowns and
the eruption of anger. Or we see lots of dysregulation throughout the day, even
hours after they finished watching.

3) Emotional Responsivity & Empathy

Research has shown highly sensitive people to have more reactive mirror
neurons. Which means that when your child is watching a sad or scary scene in
a show, the mirror neurons in their brain related to that emotion will also fire,
causing them to experience the very same feeling. Which is why scary or sad
scenes can push our kids over the edge and feel like way "too much".

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 3

 What's With Sensitivity?
4) Sensitive To Sensory Stimuli
You highly sensitive child is going to be more sensitive to the auditory &
visual stimuli present in whatever they're watching. The loud noises may
feel that much louder. The bright colours and fast moving scenes, may feel
that much more overwhelming to their nervous systems. So we want to
keep this in mind as we're choosing shows for them to watch.

One Final Note

Ultimately, you're going to want to get curious about your child and how
they're experiencing the shows & movies that they're watching.
Sometimes it's really obvious when a show is too overstimulating for them,
they cry or get scared, but other times it's not that simple. They might
seem to be totally engrossed in a show, and you're unable to tear them
away, and it's only after the show is over and has been turned off that
suddenly our little humans fall apart. This can also be a sign to us that what
they're watching isn't the right fit and that it's too much for their sensitive
nervous systems.

So get curious. Play around with what you allow them to watch and for
how long. And good luck!

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 4

 Our Screentime Story
Starting Slow
This goes for all of our kids, sensitive or not, but generally "quality" shows
will have a slower pace and more resemble real life. When I first introduced
my son to screentime I noticed that a lot of the newer, more modern
shows had a much faster pace and were far more stimulating than the
older shows that I grew up on. So when it was time to introduce
screentime to my son, I decided to start there - showing him old episodes
of Sesame Street from the 70s (which are amazing) and Mr. Rogers
Neighborhood. Also, because he loved music, I would also show him
recorded music concerts, which he loved.

We then gradually moved towards more modern shows, some of my

favourites being:

Elinor Wonders Why

Bug Diaries
Tumble Leaf
Stella & Sam
The Snowy Day
Guess How Much I Love You
Trash Truck
Puffin Rock
Stinky & Dirty

Being Able to Set Boundaries

All of our children are very different when it comes to screens, and I've
certainly noticed this with my second child, who has an entirely different
relationship to screens than my first.

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 5

 Our Screentime Story
For example, when my oldest was a baby, if we even had the news on in
the same room as him, he could not look away. He would sit and stare and
watch as long as that screen was on. So we made the decision to really
limit screen use in our house based on his relationship with them.

Now fast forward to my second child, who is now 14 months, and can
happily sit playing with his toys, barely ever looking at the screen, while my
older son is watching a movie in the same room, and it's very clear how
different they are. Which is why it's so important that you remember that
you know your child best and not all screen advice will work for all kids.

But back to boundaries, because my first was obsessive about screentime.

So much so that he would start asking to watch it first thing in the
morning and then throughout the day, I anchored his screentime
watching to another activity he did everyday - napping. So once he woke
up from his nap, he would get to watch a show. And he learned that that
was his routine. Which really helped with setting the boundary around
when and how often he would watch.

However, once he stopped napping, this actually become a huge problem

for us. Because his anchor was gone and we immediately went back to
him asking all day long to watch TV, having meltdowns when I said no, and
it just becoming a really big problem in our house.

So we made the decision to set a new boundary and really limit screen use
to just one day a week. Only watching TV on Saturdays became the new
boundary and wow did it ever make a difference. No more begging for it
everyday, no more whining until I put it on - he learned that Saturdays is
for screens, and that's it. And me holding that boundary, not making
exceptions, has really helped him learn to accept that as well.

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 6

 Our Screentime Story
Another way I created boundaries around screen use in our house was in
only allowing him to watch TV/Movies on the television in our living room,
rather than on iPads or phones. The reason I did this is similar to the
boundaries above, but iPads and phones are more easily accessible - and I
knew that if he started watching shows on those devices we'd go back to
him asking for it all of the time and us having a really hard time
maintaining boundaries around screens.

Instead, associating screentime with the television in the living room

meant that this was the space where we watched TVs & Movies. Not in the
car or at the grocery or out for dinner - but in the living room in our home.

Again, we all get to make the right decisions around screen use for
ourselves and our children, but because I had a child who was so obsessed
with screens, I knew I needed to be really diligent with the boundaries I
was setting for him. And this is what worked for us, especially when he was
watching TV everyday.

It's really important to remember that our kids are really good about
following rules if they understand the rules that are in place. But the only
way they can understand those rules is if we stick to them. So it can be
really helpful to get clear on your why, which will make it easier to
maintain those boundaries on your harder days.

(But also know, that it's totally ok to break the rules sometimes too. Just
know that when you do break the rules, it may take a few days before they
understand the rules again, whatever your rules may be)

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 7

 The Community List
Keep In Mind
This list was crowdsourced from parents in your Highly Sensitive Family
community. I haven't watched or vetted the items on this list, nor do I know
your child & their sensitivities, so I therefore can't make any promises that
these will work for you or that they meet the criteria for a show/movie that isn't
too overstimulating. But I do think it's a great place to start and I'm grateful to
all of those who took the time to share their suggestions with the rest of us.

Movies:
Tinker Bell Disney Animated Shorts Extinct
Inside Out Robin Robin A Grand Day Out
Curious George Documentaries In Winnie the Pooh (1977)
Octonauts General Toy Story Series
My Neighbour Tororo Wall-E
Spirit (skip capture & Peter Rabbit Holiday Movies:
soldier scenes) Ferdinand
The Snowy Day
Sing Singin' in the Rain
The Snowman
Sing 2 Piper
The Snowman & The
Daniel Tiger Movie Turning Red
SnowDog
Luca Emperor's New Groove
Charlie Brown/Peanuts
Ratatouille Kiki's Delivery Service
White Christmas
Thomas The Tank Julia Donaldson Short
Klaus
Engine Films
Muppets Family
Ponyo (some scary Tangled
Christmas
parts) Elf
Frozen
Cars (but not Cars 2) Soul
Stickman
Clifford Zog
Arthur Christmas
The Bee Movie Snail & The Whale
Emmet Otter Jug Band
Zootopia
Christmas
HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 8
 The TV & Movie List
TV Shows:
Curious George Dino Dana & Dino Dan Ada Twist
Puffin Rock Masha & The Bear Winnie The Pooh
Ben & Holly's Magical Bananas in Pyjamas Fireman Sam
Kingdom Mr. Rogers Clifford
Trash Truck Chicken Squad Stella & Sam
Sarah & Duck Doc McStuffins Ms Rachel (Youtube)
Tumble Leaf Dinosaur Train Stillwater
Octonauts Molly of Denali Guess How Much I Love
Daniel Tiger Super Why You
Milo & Otis Franklin Llama Llama
Sesame Street Shaun the Sheep Creative Galaxy
Little Bear Zoboomafoo Puppy Dog Pals
Bluey Wild Kratts Firebuds
Elinor Wonders Why Zenimation National Geographic
If You Give A Mouse A In The Night Garden Saved By The Barn
Cookie Story Bots My Packed Life
Thomas The Tank Magic School Bus Super Dad
Engine Roly Poly Ollie Buddy & Duff Baking
Stinky & Dirty Pocoyo Series
Blue's Clue's Anne With An E Jessy & Nessy

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 9

There's so much more we could talk
about when it comes to screens, so if
you want to dive a little deeper, here
are a few great resources to check out
on this topic:

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/
screens-screens-screens-with-
neuroscientist-dr-
cindy/id1521655911?
i=1000522139496

Want to Connect?
Highly Sensitive Family

Feel free to check out my website or come say hi on Instagram! And as

with all things parenting, be kind and compassionate to yourself. The
most important gift you can give your child is a parent who is feeling
balanced & well taken care of - so check in with yourself to see if
screens are helping or hurting that aim in any way.

HIGHLY SENSITIVE FAMILY 10