The Business Writing Process in

the Digital Age

UM0016 – Komunikasi Bisnis
Syanti Irviantina, S.Kom., M.Kom
Arifin, S.Kom., MTI

PRODI. TEKNIK INFORMATIKA (S-1)

Overview
• Chapter 2 focused on the prewriting stage of the writing process. You
studied the importance of using a conversational tone, positive
language, plain and courteous expression, and familiar words
Chapter Objective
• Discuss the five steps in the communication process.
• Recognize the goals of business writing, summarize the 3-x-3 writing
process, and explain how it guides a writer
• Analyze the purpose of a message, anticipate its audience, and select the
best communication channel.
• Employ adaptive writing techniques such as incorporating audience
benefits, developing the “you” view, and using conversational but
professional language
• Develop additional expert writing techniques including the use of a positive
and courteous tone, bias-free language, plain language, and precise words
Chapter Objective
• Apply Phase 2 of the 3-x-3 writing process, which begins with formal and
informal research to collect background information.
• Organize information into strategic relationships.
• Compose the first draft of a message using a variety of sentence types
while avoiding sentence fragments, run-on sentences, and comma splices.
• Improve your writing by emphasizing important ideas, employing the
active and passive voice effectively, using parallelism, and preventing
dangling and misplaced modifiers.
• Draft well-organized paragraphs that incorporate (a) topic sentences, (b)
support sentences, and (c) transitional expressions to build coherence.
Chapter Objective
• Complete business messages by revising for conciseness, which includes
eliminating flabby expressions, long lead-ins, there is/are and it is/was
fillers, redundancies, and empty words, as well as condensing for
microblogging.
• Improve clarity in business messages by keeping the ideas simple, dumping
trite business phrases, dropping clichés, avoiding slang and buzzwords,
rescuing buried verbs, controlling exuberance, and choosing precise words.
• Enhance readability by understanding document design including the use
of white space, margins, typefaces, fonts, numbered and bulleted lists, and
headings.
• Recognize proofreading problem areas and apply effective techniques to
catch mistakes in both routine and complex documents.
• Evaluate a message to judge its effectiveness
Contents
• Planning Business Messages

• Organizing and Drafting Business Messages

• Revising Business Message

Planning Business Messages
The Communication Process

Sender
Feedback Has idea
Returns to Sender
Sender encodes idea

Sender
Receiver
select channel
decodes message
and transmits
message
Defining Your Business Writing Goals

• Purposeful

• Economical

• Audience-oriented
Introducing the 3-x-3 Writing Process

Prewriting Drafting Revising

Analyze audience & Research background Edit for clarity
Purpose collect info Proofread
Anticipate audience and Organize info Evaluate whether the
its reactions to message Draft first version message will accomplish
goals.
Adapt message to
audience
Pacing the Writing Process

Prewriting
25%
Revising
50% Drafting
25%
Determining Your Purpose
• Why are you sending the message

• What do you hope to achieve?

• Primary Purpose: To inform and to persuade

• Secondary Purpose: To promote goodwill

Anticipating and Profiling the Audience
Primary Audience
• Who is my primary reader or listener?
• Personal and professional relationship?
• What position is help in organization?
• How much is known about topic?
• Person’s education, beliefs, culture, attitudes?
• Will reaction be neutral, positive, or negative?

Secondary Audience
• How is secondary audience different from primary?
• Supply more background information?
• Reshape message for secondary audience?
Remember that receivers will be thinking…

WIIFM (What’s in it for me?)

Factors Affecting Channel Choice

Message Importance
Amount and speed of feedback
Need for permanent Record
Cost: How expensive?
Degree of formality
Confidentiality and sensitivity
Receiver’s preference
Receiver’s technical expertise
Ten Levels of Richness in Workplace
Communication Channels

FACE TO FACE TELEPHONE VIDEO CHAT E-MAIL IM

• Richest Medium. • Best choice when • Best for group • Best for routine • Best for short
Best for persuasive, two people cannot inter-action and messages that do online messages
bad-news, and meet in person consensus-building not require that need a quick
personal messages. when members immediate response
are dispersed feedback

Richest To Leanest
Ten Levels of Richness in Workplace
Communication Channels – cont.

LETTER MEMO BLOG REPORT WIKI

• For external • To distribute • To Share ideas with • To deliver • To provide a
messages that interoffice a wide internet considerable data repository for
require formality, information, audience and internally or digital information
sensitivity, or a especially when e- encourage externally that can be easily
written record mail is unavailable responses changed

Richest To Leanest
Expert Writing Techniques
Spotlight audience benefits
NOT: The warranty begins right away.
BUT: The warranty starts working for you immediately

Develop the “you” view.

NOT: We have created an account dashboard that we love.
BUT: Your account dashboard gives you complete control.
Expert Writing Techniques
Be conversational but professional

NOT : BTW, your report was totally awesome

BUT : By the way, your report was well written.

NOT : The undersigned requests that all appropriately completed

performance reviews be returned to the writer by the deadline of
June 15.
BUT : Please return all performance reviews by June 15
Developing Reader Benefits and the “You” View

Sender Focus Receiver Focus

We are requiring all staffers to Please complete these forms so that

complete these forms in compliance you will be eligible for health and
with company policy. dental benefits.

Because we need more space for our This two-for-one sale enables you to
new inventory, we are having a two- buy a year’s supply of supplies but
for-one sale. pay only for six months’ worth.
Developing Reader Benefits and the “You” View
“I” and “We” View “You” View

We take pleasure in announcing an An agreement with HP allows you

agreement we made with HP to and other students to buy
allow us to offer discounted printers discounted printers at your student
in the student store. store.

I have a few questions on which Because your feedback is important,

I would like feedback. please tell us your thoughts.
Expert Writing Techniques
Be courteous.
NOT: You must complete the report
BUT: Please complete the report

Employ bias-free language.

NOT: Our office girls can do this.
BUT: Our office workers can do this.
Expert Writing Techniques
Prefer plain language and familiar words.
NOT: The remuneration is…
BUT: The salary is…

Use precise, vigorous words.

NOT: Please contact me.
BUT: Please e-mail me.
Negative Expressions and Their Hidden
Messages.
Negative Expression Hidden Message

You overlooked You are careless.

You state that But I don’t Believer you.
You failed to That were you thinking?
You claim that It’s probably untrue.
You are wrong I am right.
You do not understand You are not very bright.
Your delay You are at fault
You forgot to Besides being inefficient, you are
stupid and careless
Organizing and Drafting Business
Message
Informal Research Methods
Search company
digital or other files. Talk with
The boss.

Interview the
Target audience

Conduct an Informal survey Brainstorm for ideas.

formal Research Methods
Access electronically Search Manual

Investigate primary resources Conduct scientific

experiments.
Organizing Information to Show Relationships
Group similar ideas Organize into lists or outlines
Tips for Efficient Outlining
Define the main topic
(Purpose of message) in the title.

Divide the main topic into 3 to 5

Major components.

Break major component into

Exclusive subpoints (no overlapping).

Use details, illustrations, and

Evidence subpoints.
Organizing Ideas Into Strategies
Use the Direct Strategy
if audience will be

Pleased

Somewhat interested

Neutral
Organizing Ideas Into Strategies
Use the Indirect Strategy
if audience will be
Uninterested
Displeased
Disappointed
Hostile
Achieving Variety With Four Sentence Types
1. Simple sentence (one independent clause)
She needs a Job

2. Compound sentence (two independent clause)

She needs a Job, and she

must expand her skillset
Achieving Variety With Four Sentence Types
3. Complex (one independent and one
dependent clause)
Because she needs a job, she must expand
her skillset

4. Compound-complex (two independent

clause and one dependent clause)
Because she need a job, she must expand
her skillset; however, she also must begin
networking
Three Common Sentence Faults
1. Avoid Fragments (broken-off parts of sentence).

Fragment:
E-mail seems boring. When compared with Twitter.

Revision:
E-mail seems boring when compared with Twitter.
Three Common Sentence Faults
2. Avoid run-ons (two independent clauses without
coordinating conjunction or semicolon).
Run-on:
He’s addicted to social media he posts updates constantly.
Revision:
He’s addicted to social media, and he posts updates constantly.
Revision:
He’s addicted to social media; he posts updates constantly.
Three Common Sentence Faults
2. Avoid comma splices (two clauses joined without proper
punctiation).
Comma splice:
He prefers a tablet, she prefers her laptop.
Revision:
He prefers a tablet; she prefers her laptop.
Revision:
He prefers a tablet; however, she prefers her laptop.
Revision:
He prefers a tablet, but she prefers her laptop.
Prefer Short Sentences

Sentence Length Comprehension Rate

• 8 words • 100%

• 15 words • 90%

• 19 words • 80%

• 28 words • 50%
Developing Emphasis
Emphasize important ideas by using vivid and specific words
General Vivid, Specific
She has a new gadget. Lisa loves her new iPad.

Someone left a message. Michael Lee called this

morning and said he would call
again at 4 pm.

That skyscraper is tall. The Burh Kalia in Dubai is

2,723 feet tall.
Developing Emphasis
Label the main idea.
Unlabeled Labeled

Explore the possibility of Explore the possibility of

leasing a site, but also hire a leasing a site, but, most
consultant. importantly, hire a consultant.
Developing Emphasis
Emphasize the most important idea by placing it first or last in a
simple sentence and by making it the sentence subject.
Unemphatic Emphatic

Labor lawyers say that Most internship programs are

companies should review their illegal if interns are not paid.
internship programs because
most often they are illegal if
interns are not being paid for
their work.
Using Active and Passive Voice Effectively
Use active-voice verbs for clear expression.
We lost money.
Congress recently passed the new law

Use passive-voice verbs to de-emphasize the

performer or to be tactful.
Money was lost.
The new law was recently passed.
Use Active Voice for Directness, Vigor, and
Clarity
Indirect and Less Clear in Direct and More Clear in
Passive Voice Active Voice
A customer service blog was Rosario started a customer
started last year. service blog last year.

The economy is expected to The government expects the

improve. economy to improve.

Performance reviews were The manager completed

completed. performance reviews.
Use Passive Voice to Emphasize the Action,
Not the Doer
Less Tactful in More Tactful in
Active Voice Passive Voice
We cannot grant you credit. Credit cannot be granted.

The hospital cannot admit Patients without insurance

patients without insurance. cannot be admitted.

Our CEO missed his estimate Quarterly profits missed their

on this quarter’s profits. estimates.
Use Parallelism to Achieve Balance

Lacks Parallelism Illustrates Parallelism

We focus on money – earning We focus on money – earning
it, investing it, and how to it, investing it, and spending it.
spend it.

Applicants are interested in Applicants are interested in

work environment and how work environment and career
they can advance their advancement.
careers.
Use Parallelism to Achieve Balance

Lacks Parallelism Illustrates Parallelism

Our peanut butter spread Our peanut butter spread

(a) is all natural, (b) contains (a) is all natural, (b) contains
no hydrogenated oil, and (c) no hydrogenated oil, and (c)
there’s no need to stir. requires no stirring.
Avoid Dangling Modifiers

Not This But This

Walking down the street, our Walking down the street,

sign is easy to see. people can easily see our sign.

To enroll, an application must To enroll, you must send an

be sent by April 1st. application by April 1st.
Avoid Misplaced Modifiers

Not This But This

An autopsy revealed the cause An autopsy by the coroner

of death to be strangulation by revealed the cause of death to
the coroner be strangulation.

Never pet, play with, or give Without permission, never

commands to a person using a pet, play with, or give
guide dog without permission. commands to a person’s guide
dog.
Drafting Effective Paragraphs

Topic Sentence Support Sentence

• Tell readers what to expect • Illustrate explain, and

strengthen the topic
sentence

• Explains central thought • Provide details and

evidence
Building Paragraph Coherence
To build paragraph coherence, link ideas with one of these techniques:

Dovetail sentences by
Sustain the key idea by
connecting the Use a pronoun in one
repeating a key
beginning of each new sentence to refer to a
expression or a similar
sentence with a word noun in the previous
word throughout a
from the end of the sentence.
paragraph.
previous sentence.
Building Coherence With Transitional
Expressions
Use transitional expressions to build coherence for special effects:

To Add or To Show Cause and To suggest Control

Strengthen Effect
additionally consequently by contrast
again as a result conversely
also for this reason on the contrary
likewise therefore on the other hand
Building Coherence With Transitional
Expressions
Use transitional expressions to build coherence for special effects:

To Show Time or To Clarify To Contradict

Order
after for example actually
before in other words however
earlier for instance instead
finally I mean rather
Controlling Paragraph Length

• Compose shorts paragraphs

• Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines
are most readable
Revising Business Messages
Revising for Conciseness
Eliminate flabby expressions.

Flabby Concise
At this point in the time Now
Due to the fact that Because
In very few cases Seldom
Despite the fact that Although
In the near future soon
Revising for Conciseness
Limit long lead-ins.

Wordy Concise
This is to let you know that
Monday is a holiday.
Monday is a holiday.
I am sending this e-mail to
Our internal audit begins on
announce that our internal
January 5.
audit begins on January 5.
Taking Time to Revise:
Writing Process:

Prewriting Drafting Revising

• Revising: improving content and sentence structure

• Proofreading: correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format,
mechanics.

Revising takes the most time in the writing process.

Revising for Conciseness
Drop unnecessary there is/are, and it is/was fillers.

Wordy Concise
There are at least ten
At least ten applicants applied
candidates who applied for
for that position.
that position.
It was Becca Lopez who was Becca Lopez was finally
finally selected. selected.
Revising for Conciseness
Reject redundancies

Redundant Concise
Combined together Combined
Exact same Exact or same
My personal opinion My opinion
Refer back Refer
Revising for Conciseness
Purge empty word

Wordy Concise
In the case of General Motors, the
General Motors was reorganized
car company was reorganized.
We are aware of the fact that We know many managers need
many managers need assistance. assistance
When it arrived, I deposited your I deposited your check
check immediately. immediately
Revising for Conciseness
Condense messages for social media microblogging.

Personalize whenever
Include only main ideas
possible

Be prepared to revise
Choose descriptive but many times for
short words. conciseness, clarity, and
correctness.
Tweet Reply to Unhappy Bank of America
Customer

@BofA Help.
Sorry you feel that way.
If you change your mind
and want to see if we
can help, please DM
your name/zip/phone.
Making Your Message Clear
Keep it short and simple

Wordy Concise
It would not be inadvisable for
you to affix your signature at You should sign now.
this point in time.
Here are implements that are
necessary for the job to be Here are tools to do the job
completed in a satisfactory satisfactorily
manner
Making Your Message Clear
Dump trite business phrases.

Trite Improved
Pursuant to your request As you requested
Please do no hesitate to Please
With reference to About
Enclosed please find Enclosed is
Making Your Message Clear
Drop clichés (worn phrases), slang (informal words with
extravagant meanings), and business buzzwords.

Cliché, Slang, Buzzword Improved

Last but not least, we must cut
costs.
Hey, prof, what u think of my
killer paper?
Our point man will ping our
repurposed proposal to you
Finally, we must cut costs
Professor, what did you think
of my paper
Jake will call you with our
revised proposal
Making Your Message Clear
Unbury verbs that are needlessly converted to wordy noun
expressions.
Buried Verbs Improved
Give consideration to Consideration
Reach a conclusion Conclude
Create a reduction in Reduce
Make a decision about Decide
Take action Act
Making Your Message Clear
Control exuberance by using sparingly such words as very,
definitely, quite, totally, etc.
Excessive Exuberance Businesslike
We are actually very certain
We are certain that they agree
that they totally agree with our
with our proposal
proposal.
Jake was really extremely sorry
Jake was sorry that he forgot
that he completely forgot the
the meeting.
meating
Making Your Message Clear
Express precise meaning.
Less Precise
He said that he thought they
should help out with the
report.
They called with a change in
the meeting.
More Precise
The team leader told Jason and
Chris that they should write
sections of the report.
Our client XYZ called to
reschedule the meeting from
May 13th to May 16th.
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Employ white space by
• Adding headings

• Including bulleted or

• numbered lists

• Using short sentences

• Writing short paragraphs

• Setting effective margins

Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design

Setting margins
• Use 1 to 1 ½ inch margins

How to set
Margins
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Setting for Ragged-Right Margins Result
Ragged-right margins provide more white space
and improve readability

Align text at left margin and

creates a ragged-right margin
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Choose appropriate typefaces.

Consider sans serif (such Consider serif (such as

as Arial) for headings,
signs, and material that
does not require
continuous reading
Times New Roman) for
body font. Notice that serif
typefaces have small
features at the end of
strokes
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Use 10- to 12-pt. font for most body text.

For special effects consider:

 CAPITALIZATION
 SMALL CAPS
 Boldface
 Italics
 Underline
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Use vertical lists or numbered items to improve
comprehension.
Numbered lists (1, 2, 3) for items that show a sequence
Bulleted lists for items that do now show a chronology

Numbered List Bulleted List

Follow these steps in starting a
business:
1. Write a business plan.
2. Locate venture capital.
3. Prepare a feasibility study
Consider the following:
• Environmental regulations
• Employee benefit plans.
• Licensing requirements.
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Use parallel (balanced) construction when listing similar ideas
Not Parallel
Keeping an old customer is much
cheaper than to find a new one.
To protect your pet from dognapers:
• Be a constant companion.
• Don’t boast about the breed.
• You should keep photos handy.
Parallel
Keeping an old customer is much
cheaper than finding a new one.
To protect your pet from dognapers:
• Be a constant companion.
• Don’t boast about the breed.
• Keep photos handy.
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
Add heading to enhance comprehension.
Enhancing Readability Through Document
Design
• Category headings:
The company need to focus attention in 3 key areas:
• Attracting applicants. We must analyze where and how we
advertise for applicants, specifically, online job boards…
• Interviewing applicants. We should consider adding a simulated
customer encounter to the process. Simulated…
• Checking references. We’ll find a better candidate if we contact all
references, not just former employers. Currently, the …
Proofreading to Catch Mistakes

Punctuation

Names and
Grammar
numbers

What to
Spelling Watch for in Format
Proofreading
How to Proofread Routine Documents.
Reading messages on Look for typos,
screens: Use the down misspellings, and easily
arrow to reveal one line at confused words.
a time. Read from a
printed copy, to be safer.

Study the document for Look for factual errors.

inconsistencies and
ambiguous expressions.
How to Proofread Complex Documents

1 2
Print a copy,
preferably double
Set it aside and
`
spaces. take a breather

Expect errors and

3 4
Allow adequate
congratulate
time for careful
yourself when you
proofing
find them.

Read the message Reduce your

5 at least twice-once
for meaning and
once for grammar
and mechanics
6 reading speed and
focus on individual
words.
To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks.
Delete

Capitalize

Lowercase (don’t capitalize)

Transpose

Close up
To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks.
Insert

Insert space

Insert punctuation

Insert period

Start paragraph
To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks.
To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks.

Revised Copy

Beginning September 1, the doors leading to the west side of the building
will have alarms. Because these doors also function as fire exits, they
cannot be locked; consequently, we are installing alarms. Please use the
east side exits to avoid setting off the ear-splitting alarms.
To Revise Digitally, Strike through and Color.

This is a short note to let you know that as As you requested, I made an
investigation of investigated several of our competitors’ websites. Attached
hereto is a summary of the findings. of my investigation. I was really most
interested in making a comparison of the employment of comparing
marketing strategies as well as the use of navigational graphics used to
guide visitors through the sites.
Evaluate Your Writing
Does it attract the Is it polished and
reader’s attention? clear?

How successful will Does it say what you

this message be?
Evaluate Your want it to?
Writing

Will it achieve its How will you know if

purpose? it succeeds?
Question and Answer