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While Amir is lying in the dark, with nothing but his own thoughts, he
feels that his guilt is taking over his life. He realizes that he is going to
get away with his betrayal and yet he feels terrible. He decides that
the only way he is going to live with his remorse is to ignore Hassan,
block him out, so that he does not have to think about his sin. Amir’s
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“…I took a couple of the envelopes of cash from the pile of gifts and
my watch, and tiptoed out…I lifted Hassan’s mattress and planted my
new watch and a handful of Afghani bills under it…I knocked on Baba’s
door and told what I hoped would be the last in a long line of shameful
lies.”
Amir needs to get Hassan out of his sight. The only way of doing so is
to make it look like Hassan has committed a sin and stolen
Amir’s property. Ali and Hassan cannot live in Baba’s house anymore
with the thought that Hassan had been accused of stealing something
from his master, so they decide to leave. Finally, Amir believes he can
start his life over and not worry about the sin he committed against
Hassan. However, Amir’s burden does not get lighter. Later on in his
life he has a dream about Hassan’s death.
Amir doesn’t get over his guilt simply because Hassan is out of his
house. His sin still haunts him in his adult years. In fact, his guilt
becomes so great that he feels he was actually responsible for
Hassan’s death.
After reading the novel and studying Amir’s guilt due to his betrayal of
Hassan, the reader sees that guilt can worsen over time and can have
a major impact in the decisions one makes. Guilt is a prevailing
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emotion that has the power to destroy one’s life if one does not
confess his sins and ask for forgiveness. One’s life is defined by the
emotions they portray. If one’s emotions are guilt and remorse, the
decisions one makes in his/her life will be greatly impacted.
Amir realizes that because he was able to get away with his sin, he
needs to find some way of being punished for it. Only then will he feel
redeemed. He wants so desperately to be rid of his burden. He even
tries to get Hassan to throw pomegranates at him to give him the
punishment he feels he deserves.
Amir is still trying to forget about Hassan and his life in Afghanistan.
He attempts to rid himself of his burden of guilt that he still carries. It
is not until several years later that Amir finds a way to redeem himself
of his sin.
“There is a way to be good again, he’d said. A way to end the cycle.
With a little boy. An orphan. Hassan’s son. Somewhere in Kabul…
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Hassan had loved me once, loved me in a way that no one ever had or
ever would again. He was gone now, but a little part of him lived on…
Waiting.”
Amir knows that he needs to rescue Hassan’s son, Sohrab, to atone for
his sin. He knows that he needs to risk his life for Hassan’s son and be
the person that Hassan had always been to Amir. Amir is finally able
to make a good decision; a decision that would change his character
and his life.
By exploring Amir’s need for atonement, one learns that finding
redemption and being forgiven can allow one to finally have freedom
from one’s sins and feel better about oneself. We realize that
personal sacrifice, no matter at what cost, has a lasting reward.
Sharing burdens and helping others gives one a feeling of worth. That
feeling of redemption allows one to forget about the past and look
towards a brighter future.
Amir’s sense of guilt and critical need for redemption were a constant
part of his life when he was younger, and clung to him throughout
adulthood. He knew soon after he betrayed Hassan that it would
change their relationship forever. He willingly gives up a friendship to
release himself, so he thought, from guilt. However, living with this
gnawing sin of betrayal for so many years, Amir finally finds a way to
redeem himself even though the one he betrayed is no longer living.
The matter of Amir’s guilt and the redemption he finds later on is an
interesting and very important topic to explore. The reader learns
about the power of guilt, and how it can take over one’s life if one
does not seek atonement. The reader also learns of redemption, and
how free one feels after finally finding deliverance from a sin
committed so many years ago. One appreciates what Amir did to find
redemption, but also realizes that simply having the courage to stand
up for Hassan earlier would have changed everything. Despite his lack
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of action in the beginning, Amir makes a decision that changes his life,
as well as the life of Sohrab, and he finally feels he is the son his
father always wanted him to be.
By Ammarah Arshad