04.

07 Stand Out from the Crowd Worksheet

Part I: The Rough Draft

My Work
Rough Draft Everyday teens around the world use filters on the internet. Using filters is thought to
Type or paste the rough draft of be a harmless, fun thing to do. Although, overtime it can lead to anxiety and being over
your essay here. It should self-conscious.
include:
• introduction
The main purpose of a filter is to change the way you look to something else. What
• three body paragraphs that thing is can be limitless. There are lots of filters that just make you look like you
• conclusion have on a mustache or dog ears, but the real problems can come when teens use
beauty filters. These are meant to look real, to change your face to look “better.” Then
everyone wants to have the perfect face they have in the filter. This can lead to
something called body dysmorphia. This is a mental health condition in which a person
is preoccupied with thoughts about a real or perceived flaw in their body. They begin to
face challenges as a result of the culture's obsession with airbrushed perfection and
relatively easy digital tools for image manipulation. They experience interference from
this obsession in all facets of their lives, including work, school, home, and
social interactions.
One article about social media filters effecting kids states this, “Arianna G.* started
using filters on social media when she was 14. Her main goal was to hide her biggest
insecurity: she felt her legs were fat. "I thought everyone would zoom in on my post
and share it with each other to make fun of me," says Arianna, now 17. "I didn't look
like the other girls around me and I desperately wanted to. So I decided to edit myself
to match their posts: skinny legs, clear face, white teeth”." This article here describes
negatively impacting kids self-esteem so perfectly.
Self-esteem is something that is very overlooked today and is one of the biggest flaws in
kids and our society today. According to multiple websites self-esteem has tons of
different flaws and can even be as big as depression in the U.S. According to a survey a
few years ago most people don’t even know the definition of self esteem. One website
describes it as this “We all criticize ourselves from time to time, but if you often think
badly about yourself or judge yourself negatively, you may have low self-esteem. You
may not know the cause of your low self-esteem, but there are steps you can take to
improve it.”
In conclusion photo filters can be a fun thing to do with friends but mainly are a very
negative thing, especially for kids under the age of 18. Low self-esteem is nothing to
skip over or joke around about as it is one of the more common conditions seen today.
If social media photo filters were cut off or limited too for the younger generation then
our world would become a better and stronger place.

Part II: Edit and Revise

Use the rough draft of your essay to complete the chart below.
Editing and Revision Task My Work

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trademark of Florida Virtual School.
 Coherence Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be revised
ü My claim statement clearly sets up the body paragraphs. for coherence.
ü My body paragraphs begin with topic sentences and include cited,
supportive evidence. Paste the original sentence here:
ü My ideas are clarified or strengthened.
ü Off-topic, redundant, or unnecessary sentences are deleted Revise the sentence here:
ü Transitions help to connect my ideas.
ü My conclusion rephrases my claim, includes a conditional
statement, and recaps my main points.
Conventions Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be edited
ü All words are spelled correctly and I have checked for homonyms. for conventions.
ü I capitalized proper nouns, names of publications, names of
experts, and the first word in each sentence and quote. Paste the original sentence here:
ü I used correct punctuation within my writing and to introduce
quotations and information from my sources. Revise the sentence here:

Formal Style Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be revised
ü I avoided conversational and slang words. for formal style.
ü I avoided acronyms and contractions and have spelled out official
names or words. Paste the original sentence here:
ü I avoided absolute words like always or never.
Revise the sentence here:

Syntax Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be edited
ü I varied the beginnings of my sentences. for syntax.
ü I used a variety of different sentence lengths.
Paste the original sentence here:

Revise the sentence here:

Part III: The Final Draft

Final Draft
Type or paste the final draft of
your essay here. It should reflect
the edits and revisions from
above and include:
• an introduction
• three body paragraphs
• a conclusion
My Work
Every day, teens around the world use filters on the internet. Using filters is
thought to be a harmless, fun thing to do. However, it can lead to anxiety and
excessive self-consciousness over time.
The main purpose of a filter is to change the way you look to something else.
What that thing is can be limitless. There are lots of filters that just make you look
like you have on a mustache or dog ears, but the real problems can come when
teens use beauty filters. These are meant to look real, to change your face to look
"better." Then everyone wants to have the perfect face they have in the filter. This
can lead to something called "body dysmorphia." This is a mental health condition

Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a
trademark of Florida Virtual School.
 in which a person is preoccupied with thoughts about a real or perceived flaw in
their body. They begin to face challenges as a result of the culture's obsession
with airbrushed perfection and relatively easy digital tools for image
manipulation. They experience interference from this obsession in all facets of
their lives, including work, school, home, and social interactions.

One article about social media filters affecting kids states, "Arianna G.* started
using filters on social media when she was 14. Her main goal was to hide her
biggest insecurity: she felt her legs were fat. "I thought everyone would zoom in
on my post and share it with each other to make fun of me," says Arianna, now
17. "I didn't look like the other girls around me and I desperately wanted to. So I
decided to edit myself to match their posts: skinny legs, clear face, white teeth"."
This article here describes the negative impact on kids' self-esteem so perfectly.

Self-esteem is something that is often overlooked today and is one of the most
serious flaws in children and our society. According to multiple websites, self-
esteem has tons of different flaws and can even be as big as depression in the U.S.
According to a survey a few years ago, most people don’t even know the
definition of self-esteem. One website describes it as this "We all criticize
ourselves from time to time, but if you often think badly about yourself or judge
yourself negatively, you may have low self-esteem. You may not know the cause
of your low self-esteem, but there are steps you can take to improve it."

In conclusion, photo filters can be a fun thing to do with friends but are mainly a
very negative thing, especially for kids under the age of 18. Low self-esteem is
nothing to skip over or joke around about, as it is one of the more common
conditions seen today. If social media photo filters were cut off or limited for the
younger generation, then our world would become a better and stronger place.

Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a
trademark of Florida Virtual School.
Works Cited Works Cited
Type or paste the Works Cited
from your Argumentative
Writing Planner here. It should
be:
• alphabetized
• double-spaced “Self-esteem and Mental Health.” Signs, Causes and How to Improve |
• reverse-indented
• properly punctuated Healthdirect, www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-esteem.

“How Social Media Filters Are Affecting Youth.” Parents, 28 Apr.

2022, www.parents.com/kids/health/childrens-mental-health/how-social-media-filters-

are-affecting-youth.

Digital Distortion: How Filters Are Changing the Way Girls See

Themselves. www.bgca.org/news-stories/2021/September/digital-distortion-how-

filters-are-changing-the-way-girls-see-

themselves?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9_79q_Gc_QIVqsuGCh0lqQXCEAAYBCAAEgKxp_D_BwE.

Rubric

On Target Almost There Needs Improvement

Rough Draft 10 points 5 points 5-0 points
• Included an entire rough • Included a partial rough • Missing rough draft and
draft and Works Cited draft and Works Cited Works Cited

Edits and 20-16 points 15-12 points 11-0 points

Revisions Clearly and effectively:
• selected sentences with
errors and edited/revised
successfully
• completed all four areas of
the chart
Attempted to:
• select sentences with
errors and edit/revise
• complete all four areas of
the chart
May be missing:
• sentences with errors and
edited/revised sentences
• most or all areas of the
chart

Final Draft 15-12 points 11-9 points 8-0 points

Introduction Clearly and effectively:
• used a statistic or fact to
draw in the reader
• introduced the topic,
provided background
• Attempted a hook, but
contains “I” or an opinion
• Attempted to introduce
the topic, but the
information provided may
• There is no hook present
• There is no general
information, or the
information provided is

Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a
trademark of Florida Virtual School.
 knowledge, and
emphasized the
importance to the reader
• addressed the
counterclaim and followed
with the claim
• took a clear stance on the
issue and provided
reasons
• wrote a claim that is one
coherent and logical
sentence
Final Draft Body 30-24 points
Paragraphs Clearly and effectively:
• included a topic sentence
at the beginning of the
first two body paragraphs
and strongly maintained
my claim throughout.
• addressed a counterclaim
in my third body
paragraph.
• used a rebuttal and
supported my rebuttal
with evidence from my
sources.
• used transitions between
and in my body
paragraphs and signal
phrases to credit my
sources.
• incorporated relevant
facts from more than one
source. There is little to
no loosely or unrelated
material.
• used a variety of
elaborative techniques to
expand my reasons.
• ended each body
paragraph with a powerful
clincher.
Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a
trademark of Florida Virtual School.
leave the reader not connected to the
wondering why it should topic
matter to them • There is no claim
• May have used “I” statement, or the claim
statements or opinions statement is completely
• Attempts to address the unrelated to the topic
counterclaim followed by
the claim, but may not be
logically connected
• The claim may not take a
clear stance on the issue or
may not provide reasons
• May have used “I”
statements or opinions
• The claim may be more
than one sentence
23-18 points 17-0 points
• Used a loosely connected May be missing:
topic sentence at the • reasons for my claim at
beginning of each body the beginning of each
paragraph and attempted body paragraph.
to maintain my claim • a counterclaim in the third
throughout. body paragraph.
• Attempted to address a • a rebuttal and support for
counterclaim in my third my rebuttal.
body paragraph. • transitions between and in
• Attempted a rebuttal but my body paragraphs.
may not have fully • signal phrases.
supported my rebuttal • facts from my sources.
with evidence from my • elaborative details and
sources. connections to my
• Used some transitions reasons.
between and in my body • complete paragraphs.
paragraphs, but they may The essay is off-topic and
be inconsistent, does not address the issue.
ineffective, or repetitive. There are major errors in
• May be missing signal grammar or conventions.
phrases to credit my
sources.
• Included facts from one
source, though there may
be some loosely or
unrelated material.
• Attempted to use
elaborative details and
may have made
connections to my reasons.
 • maintained a clear and
logical progression of
ideas.
I wrote complete paragraphs
of at least five sentences
with no major errors in
grammar or conventions.
Final Draft 15-12 points
Conclusion Clearly and effectively:
• used a closing transition
to begin the conclusion
• restated the claim
• summarized the
importance of the topic in
a way that makes the
reader realize its
importance
• used formal language
• used a conditional
clincher (if/then)to end
the essay with power
• May be missing a clincher.
• Attempted a clear and
logical progression of
ideas, though some ideas
may seem more developed
than others.
I wrote partially complete
paragraphs and/or have
minor errors in grammar or
conventions.
11-9 points 8-0 points
• Attempted to use a closing • There is no transition or
transition to begin the restatement of the claim
conclusion • There is no general
• Repeated the same claim information, or the
statement from my information provided is
introduction not connected to the topic
• May have used “I” • There is no clincher
statements or opinions
• Attempted to summarize
the importance of the
topic but may have
introduced new or
unrelated information
• Attempted a clincher, but
it appears as a general
statement

Works Cited 10-8 points 7-6 points 5-0 points

• Contains no errors in
formatting, punctuation,
and alphabetization
• Includes only/all sources
mentioned in essay
• Contains minor errors in
formatting, punctuation,
and alphabetization
• May be missing sources
mentioned in essay or
includes sources not
mentioned
• Contains major errors in
formatting, punctuation,
and alphabetization
• May be missing Works
Cited

Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a
trademark of Florida Virtual School.