QUESTIONS:

1. Describe a situation where someone in your own organization backstabbed you, betrayed you, or
undermined you in the workplace and ended up getting you fired, or taking your job, or taking your
promotion.

Answer: I was employed at local heritage/culture and tourism department as Content writing Officer. I
worked there for a year and seven months until I ended up being replaced by new employee because he
was relative of the manager of department. I was initially bullied by the said manager for weeks and
gaslighted into believing that I was incompetent for the job despite I was receiving appraise and
encouragement from other members of Social media team for my work and efforts as I was bringing in
decent numbers but as that person was most senior among us all, his decisions were considered final
and he eventually after series of tormenting me with his words, he fired me just to open up a spot for his
nephew.

2. Clearly articulate which of the above scenarios it was, and how it happened to you.

Answer: I basically ended up getting fired by the manager of social media department because he had
authority over my employment position which he misused so that he could hire his nephew. I had no
references or any other such strong family background and connections there which could have helped
me in maintaining my post and I ended but being subjected to a certain degree of nepotism.

3. How did this make your feel?

Answer: As I was mentally tortured for weeks into believing that I am not eligible for doing any valuable
work and was at constant end of receiving verbal abuse, I ended up being extremely harsh with myself
and lost my all self-esteem. I was doubting every single task that I would perform inside and outside of
work area. I was having unhealthy thoughts of being worthless. I was harshly compared to other people
who were not even in similar position to mine. I was living in severe fear of losing my job as well
because of continuous undue critisim and was frustrated as I got no feedback that would have helped
me. After getting fired and being replaced by new employee who had no experience and no developed
skills, I was on verge of mental breakdown due to extreme level of hopelessness and ddisappointment
because I lost my job and I was only one providing for my family at that particular time period.

4. How long did it take for you to overcome this setback?

Answer: It took me atleast four to five months to feel productive and start looking out for other job
opportunities as I had to go through some counseling for trauma that I ended up having due to
narcissistic and verbally abusive nature of my ex-manager. Joining support groups and communicating
with people who had similar experiences helped me alot to start gradually regain my lost self-confidence
and morale.

5. How would you characterize this person?

Answer: I would describe this person as narcissist gaslighter.

5a. If you were to give this person a nickname or an archetype name, what would it be? For example
"Betie The Betrayer"

Answer: Sam The Egomaniac Gaslighter.

6. Was the person a coworker (superior or junior) in the same department? A coworker (superior or
junior) in another department? A boss? A person who fronted themselves as a mentor or coach? A
“friend?” Someone you decided to date in the workplace? Someone who had a crush on you in the
workplace? Someone who was jealous of you because of what reasons? Describe as much as possible.

Answer: The person who fired me was my superior in same department at managerial position. I used to
consider him someone who I was supposed to look up to and receive constructive feedback that would
help me to improve my work. He was most senior person in department soo his opinions were given big
importance. There were no kind of romantic attractions of any sorts and that person was verbally
abusive to people who he would not consider belonging to similar class or ranking as him. I ended up
receiving more mental torture than others because my family background was considered low class and
I was kept at the bottom of the organizational hierarchy despite working more than half of the other
employees at same position. Due to my insignificant family background I always ended up receiving
unfair treatment.

7. Was the person a man or a woman?

Answer: Person in discussion was a middle aged man.

8. Did the person have ill intentions, or did the competitive nature of your workplace culture create this
atmosphere of dog eat dog?

Answer: We can't ignore the rat race competition factor as working in social media department you
always have to keep on edge, updated and keep an eye on latest trends as everything these days moves
at steady pace and everyone wants to be first one to pick things up, but that particular person was my
senior and I was in no ways creating any threat for his job or position. He just discriminated me for my
family background and due to the fact I was not related to him in ways other than my professional job,
he always prefered his favourites and relatives over me despite my loud accomplishments. The person
was always indulging into favouritism.

9. How did the person gain knowledge and insights of your work secrets?

Answer: As that person was my manager and at higher rank, he had access to my employee profile and
thus background. He would sometimes not assign tasks to me that best fitted to my job and eventually
ended up taking away my job because he wanted to hire his family member and professional work wise
there actually was no reason why I lost my job. He was more not satisfied with my family background
than my work in reality. As I considered him my senior and someone to look up to, I ended up enduring
unfair treatment from him as I thought at that time he is my senior and just wanted to push me more to
work better but that ended up in destroying my mental well-being at the end. In that frame of mindset I
considered my-self of not worthy enough to deserve any employment opportunities.
10. Did he or she cozy up to you first or did you overshare your plans or what happened?

Answer: He just used his discriminative nature against me and tried to hinder my progress as much as
possible. He just did not want to interact with me and considered me petty.

11. What did you do wrong in this situation?

Answer: I did not realize the ill nature of that person towards me that he was carrying due to my
substandard family background and as result I ended up receiving and accepting destructive and abusive
critism from him. I wish I could have stood up to that person with confidence and maybe he would have
stopped being abusive to me soo such and stopped considering me vulnerable.

12. At what point did you know that you had been screwed?

Answer: It felt like a big punch in face when after I got fired, the very next day my position was filled by
his nephew. I realized that my manager just fired me so that he can create and provide job position for
his nephew.

13. If you were to do it all over again, how would you do things differently?

Answer: I if would do it all over again, I would make sure that atleast I would put up case confidently
every single time in front of that person and not take any abuse from him as justified critism.

14. Would you trust this type of person again?

Answer: No, I would like to keep distance from that kind of individual and will not give any importance
or care to their horrendous words of abuse.

15. In future, if you have no option but to work with him or her, how will you work with this type of
person without allowing him or her to undermine you like they did in this case?

Answer: I will not let that individual get to my head. I will take their biased thoughts as their problem
and realize that they do not reflect me or my work and self-worth.

16. What is your advice for people who have to work with this type of person in future?

Answer: Gaslighting is very real and there are people out their who will try to intentionally or sub-
consciously gaslight you into believing that you are incompetent for everything. You will end up
questioning your own reality and existence. Don't let their words of humiliation destroy your mental
peace or self-confidence. Their thoughts and words are subjected to being internally biased which you
can sense soo many times, so trust your instincts and realize they don't reflect you in any form.

17. Would you describe yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?

Answer: I am more of an introvert than extrovert.

18. What is your age group? 18 - 24? 25 - 30? 30 - 35? 35 - 40? 40 - 45? 45 - 50? 50 - 55? 55 - 60? 60+?
Answer: My age group is 18-24.

19. Any other information you would like to add?

Answer: I am female and graduate in Media sciences with 5 year experience in professional field by now
and prospering well in contrast to what my ex-manager claimed, in his own words incompetent for any
job. I belong to South Asian country where sadly there is culture of references, favouritism and bribery
existing in almost all professional fields. On top of that employment rate is very low and there are not
many employment opportunities in comparison to huge population.