Conflict Resolution Analysis: The Case of Take a Test Tanya

Eryn White

City University of Seattle in Canada

ECC 516: Family Systems and Conflict Resolution

Dwaine Souveny

July 14, 2022

Context
Take a Test Tanya has taught in the same school, with a relatively similar teaching
assignment: grade 7 and 8 Math, for 16 years. She has detailed lessons, clear expectations, and
sets effective routines for her classes. She presents herself as a strict rule enforcer who really
wants to help kids. Tanya is frequently at the school very late, with a portion of her time spent on
writing daily class emails detailing the work that was assigned in class, and what the
expectations are for homework. Oftentimes, Tanya speaks in staff meetings about how much
time she devotes to her job. When partaking in school PL, she is known to express her opinion
that the best professional development is when teachers can talk to one another about what’s
going on in their classes.
Students frequently have practice homework in Tanya’s class, which is reviewed daily,
and students are provided with a “stamp sheet” to record their diligence in completing the
practice. There are no projects in the class and the Summative Assessment category weighting is
listed on the course outline as quizzes/assignments 20%, Unit Exam 40%, and Final Exam 25%.
Tanya feels that communication among staff is very important, and often responds to
administration emails sent to all staff with “reply all”. In regards to parent communications, she
prefers sending emails. Typically, her emails to parents are filled with emojis, often in
juxtaposition to her formal writing style. Historically she reports sending several emails to
parents regarding student performance but does not always get a response. Administration has
directed to phone parents when emails have not been successful, specifically stating that if a third
email is required the teacher must phone the parent/guardian. On a few occasions, when asked
about contact with parents, she responds, “The email is drafted, but I haven’t sent it yet.”
During online teaching over COVID quarantines, Tanya had expressed that her workload
was very challenging. She could not distribute student assessments effectively and found that
many students simply did not do the work. There were challenges in accessing documents,
printing them at home, scanning them or taking a picture of them, and submitting work to
Google classroom. She sent out several lengthy instructions on how to submit work and
expressed her frustration with parents for not supporting learning. Tanya took a leave of absence
from March till September 2021 and is working 0.5 as a gradual return to work.
Summary
Take a Test Tanya had escorted a student, Regularly Rammy Rodney, to one of the
seclusion rooms in the office due to his behaviour during class, in the last period of the day.
Rodney was assigned a test that he missed as a result of an absence but refused to complete it,
vocalizing his opinion loudly in the classroom with the rest of his grade eight cohort present. He
told Tanya the test was “stupid” and “a waste of time”.
Upon taking him to the hall, he continued to argue with Tanya, until she escorted him to
the office. Tanya dealt with the student without asking for assistance even though his behaviour
was non-cooperative. At one point in the exchange, I heard Tanya talking to the student and
came out from my office to see what was happening. Rodney was laying on the ground stating
that he was not going to do the work. Tanya calmly restated that that was his choice to make,
however, the classroom was completing an assessment and his actions were interrupting their
work.
Tanya did not speak to me during this situation and stood in front of Rodney until he
abated, then she returned to the class. Rodney received instructions to stay in the seclusion room
until the assessment was completed. I spoke to Rodney and he told me what happened. Rodney is
very precise about retelling the specific events that occur, and often gets into conflicts because he
has opposing opinions. He is clinically diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Tanya did not return
for the student and when the bell rang for dismissal, Rodney left, stating “You can’t legally keep
me here. I’m leaving”.
The next morning at 8:50, Tanya sent an email asking how the situation was handled by
the administration and for clarity on the “process” and what had been done to “follow up with
parents”. In the past, it had been Tanya’s practice to send emails to the administration, implying
that there were no consequences for students, and that teachers were left to deal with challenging
behaviors in classrooms by themselves. I felt that a conversation was needed, so, during
transition, I visited the classroom to speak with Tanya.
Script
Me Hi Tanya, can I talk to you about what happened with Rodney
yesterday?
Tany Sure. Big, exaggerated
a smile
Sounding bright
Me I really liked how you dealt with him when he was having that
fit. You were strong and didn’t let him push you around. But
you weren’t angry with him or getting mad. That must’ve been
hard.

Let me just pause here okay? Not a bad start...

You’ve come in with a real doozy of a compliment. Nice and subtle.
“personal growth and goal achievement was a function of the identification, awareness, and
active utilization of one’s signature strengths” (Duan et al, 2021).
You prob should’ve tried this though: Plan your discussion!
Get Unstuck What makes this a crucial conversation (i.e. what are the
What is the current ‘differences of opinion’, ‘emotions’ and high stakes”
pool of meaning? The differences in opinion come from the teacher’s perceived
How are we stuck? expectation that any incident with a student requires administrative
follow up, and the implication that “there are no consequences”.
What is the Content or Pattern –
 The pattern for the teacher is that they often send emails regarding
their opinions on how situations are being dealt with (or in their
opinion not being dealt with). Also, the teacher tends to delay
contacting parents by phone. While the pattern with administration is
not addressing the situation that is interpreted as ‘passive aggressive’
with the teacher.
How does this impact the Relationship
Administrator/teacher relationships are strained. Every email that is
from the specific teacher is opened with an expectation that there will
be a complaint or criticism. The teacher’s classroom has become
more difficult to enter, and it is tense during supervision.

Start with the What results do I want

Heart For myself:
what is my goal Teachers to handle conflict in classroom.
Teachers to feel comfortable phoning parents
• for myself Teachers to not expect students to be punished
• for others Stop being passive aggressive
Give me some credit
for the relationship For the other person:
Gain confidence in talking to parents
De-emphasize the importance of testing
For the relationship:
Open to suggestion and conversation
For the school:
Community with growth mindset
Master my stories What do you think Tanya would say her story is:
What is my story Stressed and overworked
about this, what is Not supported – other student scenario
my role, how do I No communication with staff
feel, why?
What is your story:
Hesitant in coaching teachers
Eager to make a difference
Influenced by Principal’s lead
Think tests are overused and sometimes not worth the time
In conflict with reporting methods

“Goalsetting is considered to be a key element in helping individuals to regulate their own

behavior” (Epton, Currie, & Armitage. 2017).
Okay, what have you got now?
Script
Me That must’ve been hard.
 Tanya Not really, we have an okay relationship. He usually does what Smirks
I tell him to do. But not yesterday!
Me Yeah, I saw that.
Listen, I was wondering if there was anything that I could do to
help in the future when something like that happens?

Hold up! You jumped a few steps there cowboy. It’s good that you’ve extended the problem
solving to the teacher though.
“Teachers found coaching and being coached to shift their beliefs about learning and teaching.
School leaders took the strategic view that a coaching model, which trusts the capacities of
teachers to reflect and improve, was empowering and capacity building.” (Netolicky. 2016).
Following the Crucial Conversations process should have you knowing what to do already
though:
STATE my path Share my facts: Please correct me if I am wrong but from what I
Share my facts saw, you had to leave class to deal with Rodney. When he was here,
Tell your story you didn’t ask for any assistance. I saw you work with him, and you
Ask for others path were clear and direct, which he responded to. After that, you left him
(goal) in the seclusion room until the end of the day. I wasn’t in your
Talk Tentatively classroom to see what happened there, however, but I spoke to
Encourage testing - Rodney to see what he had to say.
am i hearing it right
Tell my story: (feelings and opinions)
I am feeling a little hesitant about having this conversation though. I
want to be able to help you out, but I feel that maybe you don’t
respect my opinion in the matter, or maybe you don’t even agree with
the idea of how Vince and I deal with kids. In the end, I’ve never
thought that tests are really the most important part of assessment
either. I’d like to be able to report on what we see as professionals.

Ask for other’s path (story) : I wonder if you could help me to

understand your perspective, tell me what you think is happening…

Talk tentatively: Correct me if I am wrong; I wonder

Encourage testing: Help me to understand your perspective.
“One of the most important factors in accelerating a person's learning, and therefore their
performance, is a safe environment … The coach may have opinions about what will generate
the desired outcomes, but she or he should listen to and observe what the coachee thinks, says, or
does without passing judgment about whether it is good or bad, right or wrong.” (Fine, 2015).
Well, let’s see how this pans out.
Script
 Me Listen, I was wondering if there was anything that I could do
to help in the future when something like that happens?
Tanya Like I said, I have good relationship with him. I just need you Face stern
to do something about it after he gets upset like that. Crossed arms
Sharp voice
Me Yeah.
Well, I’m thinking that I could maybe come to your class and
give you some time to talk to Rodney before things start today.
Maybe like 5-10 minutes?
I could just slip into the room while you have a chat with him.
Tanya I don’t have time for you to come into my class so I can talk to Furrowed brows
kids. I’ve set up my class so that it’s effective and I need all Crossed arms
my class time. I start my lessons off in a particular way so that Sharp voice
would not work.
Me I understand how to teach a class with anticipatory sets, so you
don’t need to explain that to me.
Frankly, I’m not really happy with your tone right now, it’s
pretty confrontational.
Oh wow, that was a real good move!
You fell prey to the old amygdala I see.
Interestingly, a study performed on Rhuses monkeys showed that the amygdala has a
significant effect of goal-directed behavior. So maybe it isn’t too far off of a bad idea to
affect some emotional response in order to set some goals in motion. (Rhodes & Murray.
2013)
Next time, think about this:
Learn to look What are you noticing about yourself ?
Physical:. Tension, sweating
Are there signs of Emotional: nervous, anger, insult
distress? Behavioral: defensive
Silence or Violence?
What are you noticing about the other person?

Physical:. stern face, crossed arms

Emotional: frustrated, irritated
Behavioral: aggressive, accusatory

Journal article “Explicit self-awareness will often help save you from engaging in a conversation
in a way that panders to your feelings rather than one that serves your needs” (Weeks, 2001) split
the conversation into two parts – 1. address issues, 2. hold meeting
How are you gonna screw this up some more?
Me Frankly, I’m not really happy with your tone right now, it’s
pretty confrontational.
Tanya Oh, what? Shocked
I wasn’t trying to be confrontational! Voice raises pitch
I was just thinking about what you were saying! Arms still crossed
Me Well, I’m sorry I accused you of being confrontational. It's just
that I was reading your face and your posture, and you looked
pretty upset.
Tanya No, I’m not upset. I’m just thinking about what you’re Arms lowered
saying... Eyebrows raised
Talking softer
You’ve kind of righted this boat. At least you apologized.
LQS 1 Fostering effective Relationships (Alberta Education, 2020) – (Kouzes & Posner,
2017)- Model the Way

Here is a better way to prepare your apology though:

Make it safe Apologize for myself: I do wish to apologize that I implied that you
Mutual weren't essential to your classroom.
Respect/Mutual
Purpose Contrast: I don’t want to give you the impression that I think you are
easily offended or looking for a fight
I do want to emphasize that there is a degree of action that needs to
be taken by the teacher in order to create relationships and to
communicate with parents effectively.

Commit to a mutual purpose:

Can we agree that we want to be able to support students in their
learning, and need to include parents in that process when things are
getting challenging?
Regarding don’t and do statements
“As evidenced by study 3, the “don’t” versus “can’t” refusal framing is a simple strategy that
consumers can adopt to facilitate goal pursuit, especially when the desired behavior is self-
directed.” (Patrick, & Hagtvedt. 2011).
Have person internalize the don’t
I’m not sure I can even watch...
Me Okay. Well, I need you to talk to him about what your
expectations are. Can you do that today?
Tanya Yeah
Me And if there’s an issue, then you can contact the parents to talk
about what’s going on there.

So weak bro, this was your chance to really clarify what to do. There was an attempt to
define some deadlines, but she is obviously struggling with how to talk to parents.
“As these data from this study show, a pressing need exists to have skills to communicate
articulately and precisely with parents, teachers, and students. These data also support a definite
need for instructional strategies and techniques in the area of parent communication, and such
should be included as an integral part of teacher preparation programs” (Jarid, 1997)
Use the AMPP acronym next time:
Explore others’ Ask for clarification
path You want some more clarification on expectations?
Ask I am wondering if you are okay with talking to parents directly?
Mirror Mirror the others emotions
Paraphrase
Prime Paraphrase

Prime by making an educated guess about how the person is

feeling.
Tell me if I’m wrong, but I wondering if you are feeling a little
overwhelmed with your classroom schedule, and don’t feel like it’s your
best use of time to contact a parent, especially when he clearly did
something wrong in your opinion.

“persistent pursuit of personal goals is only part of adaptive self-regulation and that an equally
important part is played by a set of processes that lead to the exact opposite outcome—giving up
personal goals. Specifically, we propose that in situations in which people are confronted with
unattainable goals, benefits accrue from the capacities to abandon goal-directed activities and to
reengage in valued alternative goals. An important implication of this proposition is that adaptive
self-regulation of unattainable goals depends on the availability of alternative goals toward
which people can direct their efforts. By having new goals available and reengaging in those new
goals, a person can reduce the distress that arises from the desire to attain the unattainable while
continuing to derive a sense of purpose in life by finding other pursuits of value.” (Wrosch et
al., 2003)
It couldn’t get much worse from here, I hope.
 Me And if there’s an issue, then you can contact the parents to talk
about what’s going on there.
Tanya Yeah. I have an email drafted. I just haven’t sent it off yet. Ends with brief,
closed-lipped smile
Me Okay. If you have anything that goes wrong, let me know.
Tanya Okay. Big, exaggerated
Sure. smile
Sounding bright
That wasn’t a train wreck. Not a home run either though. The attempt to let the teacher
know you were supporting them was there, but not prominent.
"principal support and teacher cooperation were statistically significant predictors of job
satisfaction for all teachers” (Olsen & Huang, 2019)
Let’s see how it stacks up to the WWWF
Move to action Who You

Who does what when - What need to talk to him about your expectations
Follow through?
When today
What will follow through look like if anything goes wrong, let me
know.

Relates to my Crucial Conversation Skills test:

“optimal goal setting interventions should be: (a) set publicly, (b) set by someone else, and (c)
set for a group.” (Epton, Currie, & Armitage. 2017).
Thanks for paying attention!
 References

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