I feel incredibly fortunate; words cannot even begin to describe the immense

amount of gratitude I feel in my heart for my Creator. Finally after months of

privately praying and begging Allah (swt), my prayer is finally answered. for and a
mountain full of dua's, dreams, hopes and ambitions that I want to ask for. After
my Hajj I intend to try my utmost hardest to live the life of a better person, but
before I do that I need to ask for forgiveness and clean my heart. So I view my Hajj
as a spiritual refuel which should aid and assist me in living the rest of my life just
the way I'm supposed to.

After numerous delays and cancellations we finally reached our destination. It's
an understatement to say that Medina brings peace to the heart. I'm present in
the city of Allah (swt) Beloved; it truly is the city of peace, blessings and well
being. It's easy to see why our Holy Prophet loved this city and its people. The
evenings, with the jet black sky, crescent moon, and sparkling stars hanging above
the minarets of our Holy Prophet'smosque are sensational (finally I understand
what all these Nasheeds really mean). Whenever I hear the soulful call to prayer,
perform my Salaah, or feel the presence and rahmah (mercy) of the Holy Prophet
(saw), I still can't believe that I'm actually here; it's nothing short of a miracle. I try
to remember absolutely everyone in my prayers so that they can also derive
something of my being here.The social scene here is so simple, relaxed and
uncomplicated. No one seems more rich, intelligent, or prettier than anyone else.
Nor does one ever feel insecure or inferior over here; there are no social barriers
that segregate people. The people here are unbelievably friendly; it's obvious that
this is the city of rahmat (mercy), and barakah (blessings) and it's obvious that this
is the city of Allah (swt) Mehboob (beloved).It was an honour and privilege to visit
the most Beloved of Allah's (swt) Messengers. It is one thing to send Salaam on
the Holy Prophet from anywhere else in the world; however it's a whole
different experience sending them in Masjid-ul-Nabwi. I felt extremely privileged
to be able to be given the opportunity to ask for forgiveness in the court of the
most beloved of all Prophets (saw), I asked for sincere repentance and drowned
myself in the recitation of Daroods.When I visited the historical sights of Medina I
couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face; to walk in a place so
steeped in Islamic History is inspiring and humbling. I witnessed and gained
Tabarruk (blessings) from the relics of those who sacrificed everything of theirs in
servitude and obedience to Allah (swt) - the true devotees of the Holy
Prophetwho fought against the pagan Arabs, suffered tortures, became migrants,
suffered unbearable hardships, but ultimately did raise aloft the message of the
Holy Prophet (saw). A lesson in courage and determination was drawn from these
clear signs and sacred places.When I went to visit the Holy Prophetfor the last
time before departing to Makkah with a heavy heart, I told him I'll be back soon.
When I return to London physically I'll be there, or in anywhere else in the world,
but my heart will always remain in Medina. As soon as we arrived in Makkah we
went to perform our Umrah. The sighting of the Ka'bah for the first time was
overwhelming. I was awestruck by its magnificence; its beauty cannot be
described in any other way except by pure experience of its presence. Tears
streamed down my face as I asked for the Razamandi (pleasure) of my Lord.I felt
incredibly insignificant standing before the house of my Almighty Creator. As I did
my Tawaaf (circulation) around the Ka'bah I couldn't help but glance up
overwhelmed by the thought that at this very moment thousands of angels were
doing Tawaaf around the superior abode of Allah (swt) directly parallel to our
Tawaaf. After we performed our Tawaaf we cooled ourselves down by drinking
zam zam water in which I felt all my fatigue and thirst diminish. After drinking zam
zam we went to perform our Sa'ee.Sa'ee represented to me Allah (swt) in all His
beneficence, in all His mercy, the One who provides sustenance for us and in
Whose hands our destiny lies. Once again I became emotional recalling the plight
of Hadrat Hajarah (ra), thinking how frantic she must have been looking for water;
and how Allah (swt) loved the actions of his favoured person to such an extent
that the revival of her actions is now considered worship.After fajr we walked to
Mina, the thunderous, melodious chants of the talbiyah was echoed from every
direction, never had I felt such a strong sense of belonging. In Mina I witnessed
the imprints of those who were ready to sacrifice everything in submission and
obedience to Allah (swt). After spending the night in Mina we left for Arafaat. In
the plains of Arafaat we made our duas, the open ground was full of an incredible
hum of people, all thanking, glorifying and pleading to Almighty Allah. It was the
day where tears fell and hearts overflowed with thankfulness to Allah, with a
strong belief in his mercy that all our sins will be forgiven.I felt incredibly
insignificant as I asked for repentance from my Lord. I expressed my hopes and
sought assistance against my fears. This is why I came to Hajj, this is what I
wanted to do; ask forgiveness for all my shortcomings and aspire towards the
ideal. I poured my heart out to my Lord today and asked for it all.After the dua I
found my dad, hugged him and thanked him for bringing me here. Surprisingly
there was no awkwardness, shyness or holding back. The day of Arafaat is a day
I'll never forget.As far as the eye could see all I could see was millions of people
spread out on the floor, under the clear black sky.. I'm returning to a place that is
void of Rahmat (peace) and Tabbaruk (blessings).I feel as if I came here with an
empty spiritual wallet and I am returning with an unbelievable amount of richness
(spiritual). Even if I spend the rest of my life saying 'Thank you' to Allah (swt), it
still would be insufficientThe feelings that I used to feel in those blessed places
are missing here. Undoubtedly I believe in the omnipresence of Almighty Allah
and I know that the Messenger of Allah (swt) is amongst us Words cannot do
justice to Hajj 'the journey of a lifetime', it has to be experienced.