Chapter 18 Writing Narratives Planning a Story; Using Vivid Detaiis, Dialogue, and Description Have you ever heard anyone described as a “natural storyteller”? Do you know someone who can hold everyone’s attention when relating a per- sonal experience? Such persons use gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice to make their stories vivid and interesting, but they are also careful to organize their stories. They make sure that their stories lead somewhere and end with a definite point, and that what they say is clear to their listeners, They are skilled in the art of narration. Not all of them, however, can write a story as well as they can tell it. They may not be as skilled in using words as they are in using gestures and facial expres- sions. Someone writing a story does not have personal contact with the audience and must rely on words to make contact. Yet, as you know from your reading, written stories can be as interesting, as funny, or as thrilling, as a story that is told, Over the years, fine writers have made us aware of how much can be done with words alone. They have shown that even the simplest story must have a plan behind it, and they have used many effective Planning a Story > 223 devices in writing their stories. In this chapter, you will learn the basic principles of planning a story and some of the devices which make a story vivid and interesting. PLANNING A STORY What do you write about in a letter to a friend? ‘Mostly, you tell about the things that have been hap- pening to you: about coming down with the measles just before you were to start an exciting trip, about the new dress you accidentally ripped on the first day you wore it, about the fun you had in summer camp— ‘after getting over poison oak. Such incidents can be the basis of many interesting stories. But you must plan such a story more carefully than a letter to a friend. A friend knows much about you, but the reader of your story may be a complete stranger. You must be sure to give all necessary information. 18a. Plan your story before writing Before writing a story of a personal experience, work out a rough plan to guide your thinking and to help you to include all the necessary details. ‘Such a plan should list the necessary information. If you list the information under the categories of When, Where, What happened, and How you felt, you will usually find that you have included all the important information, as in the following.story plan. . When: 1 was five years old. . Where: 1 was alone in my aunt’s car, . What happened: 1 tried to drive the car. I released the brake. Car rolled. Hit a fence, a tree, smashed into a house. |. How you felt: Very surprised.324 < Writing Narratives A story about a personal experience need not end with an explicit statement of how you felt about the events described. Often your story will be more effec- tive if you merely suggest your feelings rather than state them. You will find it helpful, however, to in- clude such a statement in your story plan, EXERCISE 1. Draw up a story plan for the follow- ing story. Remember the items of the plan: When, Where, What happened, How you felt. In this case, imagine that you are the writer of the story. Some years ago my friend Sandy and I tried to go to the moon, but some apples and pears got in our way. Both Sandy and I had seen a television program about reaching the moon. When we talked about the program, we agreed that the important thing was to get up enough speed to overcome the earth's gravity. The rest would be casy. We decided to make an ex. periment. There was a long block in our neighbor hood that ran downhill and then uphill. If we took Sandy's wagon and got up enough speed going down- hill, we might be able to leave the earth going uphill ‘The next morning we got up very early. We wanted to reach the block before people started coming out of their apartment houses to go to work. I sat in the front of the wagon. Sandy gave a push and jumped on behind me. The wagon went faster and faster. Sandy and.I cheered. We were sure that We would leave the earth’s gravity and would be on our way to the moon, 1 began to. daydream about newspaper headlines and being interviewed on television. Suddenly Sandy yelled, “Watch out!” Going uphill had made our wagon change direction. We were headed straight for Mrs, Clark's fruit stand. I grabbed the handle of the wagon to steer, but it was too late. We crashed into the fruit stand and almost hit Mrs, Planning @ Story > 925 Clark, Mrs. Clark shouted. The fruit spilled in all directions. The story has a sad ending. Out of our allowances we paid $3.40 for the fresh fruit that Mrs. Clark lost. Sandy's wagon had a big dent in it. I was spanked for sneaking out of the house in the early morning. Sandy and I postponed our plans for the next moonshot in- definitely. EXERCISE 2. As a small child, did you ever try to imitate somebody you admired? Do you know any- one who did? Write, in 100 to 150 words, the story of such a personal experience, Make a plan first. If you do not remember such an incident, an item in the following list may suggest an experience that you can write about, ‘You tried using your mother’s cosmetics. You used your big brother’s razor. You tried a backflip off a high diving board. You tried a stunt on a bicycle or trapeze. You tried to press pleats in a skirt. You tried to use a sewing machine. ‘You tried to diaper your baby sister. You tried to fix your hair in a grown-up style. You tried to milk a cow. You tried to ice-skate for the first time. Sernavaynn EXERCISE 8. Write a story of about 150 words on the topic “The First Money I Ever Earned.” Prepare a story plan first. If you cannot think of an incident, the following list may help you to invent one. 1. Not crying when the barber cut my hair 2. Running an errand 3. Mowing a lawn 4, Picking berries or fruit826 < Writing Narrative Baby-sitting Cleaning up the yard or courtyard Walking a dog . Making tacos . Washing windows or a car 10. Pulling weeds or clipping a hedge 11, Delivering papers, groceries, packages 12, Selling tin foil, bottles, magazine subscriptions 13, Raising and selling chickens or rabbits 14, Helping paint a fence or a barn 15, Serving and dishwashing for a party Senay 18b. Learn the basic parts of a story. Often, when you write a letter, you refer to an inci- dent only briefly; but when you write a story, you assume the reader knows nothing and supply all neces- sary information. There is another basic difference between writing about an incident in a letter and writing a story. In a letter, the incident may be just a small part of the news you are sending to a friend. In a story, the incident is all you are writing about. You must organize the details so that they will interest and entertain your reader. Most good stories include five basic story elements, It will help to remember these elements as you write. 1. Interesting start 2. Beginning explanation 3. Action 4. Climax 5. Ending ‘The story in Exercise 1 contains these five ele- ments. The first sentence is the interesting start. It tells the reader what the story is about but in such a way that the reader's curiosity is aroused. The rest of the paragraph is the beginning explanation. Notice Planning @ Story > 327 that the paragraph does not supply unnecessary in- formation, It does not tell how Sandy and the writer became friends, nor does it give all the details of their talk about the program. It tells only enough to show why they decided to make the trip. Furthermore, this paragraph avoids a common error in story writing: beginning in the wrong place. ‘The real beginning of the story is the decision of Sandy and the writer to make the trip. The story should not, begin with getting up that morning or going to school or even with Sandy meeting the writer. Similarly, a story about an actor forgetting lines in a school play should begin with the particularincident that makes the actor nervous, not with the drama club deciding to put on the play. ‘The step-by-step events that happen after the be- ginning explanation make up the developing action. In the story about the trip to the moon, the second paragraph gives such a step-by-step account. It tells very specifically what happened the morning of the attempted trip to the moon. The climax is the high point of a story. In this story the climax, in the third paragraph, is the wagon crash- ing into Mrs. Clark's fruit stand. The way in which this climax is made vivid by the use of specific details and effective verbs will be discussed later in this chapter. ‘The ending of a story ties up the loose ends. In this, story, the ending tells what happened after the wagon hit the fruit stand, The ending may state in so many words how the writer felt about the events of the story, or the writer’s feelings may merely be suggested. Al- though we are not told directly, the details about the spanking, the dented wagon, and paying for the damaged fruit give us a good idea how Sandy and the writer must have felt, We are not surprised that they19 Narratives = Wetting Vivid Stories > 320 did not plan another trip to the moon for a while. EXERCISE 5. Write a story of 150 to 200 words Sometimes a story may not contain all these cle- . about a personal experience which embarrassed you ments. An interest-arousing opening and a strong at the time it happened, but which you can laugh about climax are, of course, assets to a story, but they are now. Before you write the story, make a pré not necessities. Many good stories lack them. But plan. (See pages 323-24.) Include the five basi keeping the five basic elements in mind as you write : elements in your story. help you to organize your story. WRITING VIVID STORIES Vivid means “clearly seen and lively.” A reader re- sponds to a vivid story because the writer's skill has made the story come alive, Your story may not be as clear and lively as one by a professional writer, but, I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to take you can learn certain principles that wi my little sister with me last Halloween, Instead of your stories, trick-or-treating for candy, I was collecting money for : the Orphan's Fund. My collection box hada message on it printec ig letters: TREAT A NEEDY OR- F ‘Choosing Details PHAN FOR HALLOWEEN. Since my little sister can read dot hin she got the mesoge : 186. Choose details to make the action vivid. tried’ large apartment house first. After I ran : ; the first bell, I told my litle sister, "Now remembes Reread the story in Exercise 1 (page 324). Notice how tocollect money for charity. Don'tack for the second and third paragraphs tell exactly what hap- ” She just nodded and smiled. pened. Suppose the following paragraph were substi- A man appeared. He didn't look very happy. tuted. Would the story be as effective? “Can't you kids give me alittle rest? You're the tenth, ‘Thienext: moniag ‘wel got ithe Wabon and bunch ringing my doorbe went downhill. Then the wagon got out of con- trol, and we ran into a fruit stand, Some of the fruit was spilled. ‘The use of effective details makes a story v ‘ght. such details are missing, the reader wi i "He quickly returned with candy for in the story. my little sister, and he put some money in my col- lection box. Thave decided that taking my little sister along was z : ‘@ good idea after all. She can't follow orders, but she Compare the following two paragraphs. Which is can certainly raise money, the more interesting? EXERCISE 4. Identify the five basic story elements in the following story. How do these elements cor- respond to the preliminary story plan: When, Where, What happened, How you felt. (1) Choose specific details.890 < Weting Narratives When the canoe touched the river bank, I told John to push us away with his paddle. In- stead he panicked. He got up and tried to climb to the shore. In his efforts, he overturned the canoe. I fell into the water. The canoe glided toward the river bank. I felt a bump as it touched land, “Use your paddle. Push us away,” I told John. He put his hand o1 the side of the canoe and pushed himself to hi feet. I yelled at him to sit down, but he wasn't, listening. His hands trembled. Awkwardly be teetered on one foot as he reached out to grab a branch that was hanging over the bank. The canoe began to rock. “Sit down!” I yelled. The canoe rocked violently. Suddenly I was thrown from my seat and hit the water with a splash. Most readers would agree that the second para- graph is the more effective. The first paragraph gives only general information about what happened. The second paragraph tells how John used his hand to push himself up and how he looked (teetering awk- wardly) as he tried to leave the canoe. Instead of the general statement 1 fell into the water, the second paragraph gives two specific detail thrown from the seat and the splash of hitting the water, Also, the second paragraph does more than tell what hap- pened; it shows what happened. There is no direct statement about John panicking. A detail, the trem- bling of John’s hands, implies this fact. To sum up, the second paragraph is superior in two ways: (1) It gives specific details to make the action vivid; (2) it avoids general statements and lets the readers draw their own conclusions from the details. EXERCISE 6. Rewrite one of the following para- Whiting Vivid Stories > 331 graphs. Use specific details to make your readers feel that they are participating in or witnessing the action. 1 ‘There was one minute to go in the last quarter. 1 ‘caught the pass and ran sixty yards for a touchdown. The crowd cheered 2 ‘There was a very long line in front of the ticket office as I arrived. 1 was impatient at first. Then I began to think about something else. When the man behind the window asked me how many tickets I wanted, I was very much surprised. 3 When the leader called on me, I was very ner- vous. [grew calmer as I explained why our club should donate to the Community Fund. At the end of my speech, the members applauded. 4 ‘The two boys clenched their fists and threatened each other. Each of them wanted to appear brave but, did not really want to fight. After the crowd watching them had gone, each muttered a final insult and left. EXERCISE 7. Write a paragraph of 50 to 75 words about one of the following situations. Assume that your paragraph is to be part of a longer narrative. Before you begin to write, think of as many details as possible that would be appropriate for this scene and action. Then select the most vivid ones for inclusion in your paragraph. 1, Sliding on the ice and bumping into a woman carrying packages iH 2. Hitting a long, high ball that you think is a home run until the center fielder catches it 3. Being caught in a hailstorm