5 Tips to Find Happiness within You

"If I had a million dollars my happiness would be complete!" How often

have you heard someone say that or something similar? Would a million
dollars bring you lasting happiness? If not, then what would make you
happy and why is happiness so elusive? Ironically, everything we do in
life has one ultimate purpose for us: to find happiness and fulfillment.
However, happiness is so fleeting and rare sometimes. We're able to
enjoy it now and then but are unable to hold on to it for long. Therefore,
we often have bouts of the blues when we feel let down and disillusioned.
We find ourselves asking, is this all there is to life? Why can't I be happy?

What is true happiness?

Lasting happiness will continue to be a wild goose chase if we look for it
in all the wrong places. True happiness doesn't come from being wealthy,
owning more, and craving more. Lasting happiness can never be yours if
you depend on others to make or break your life, as we often see in
dependent relationships. You may find joy and pleasure in your children
and friends, yet you'll still feel unfulfilled. Happiness doesn't come
through competing relentlessly and pushing yourself to be number one.
Even love can't bring you real happiness unless you learn to love yourself
first.

In a nutshell, true happiness comes from within you. Any external source
of happiness will be fleeting and unfulfilling because it doesn't come
from the true source of joy, your innermost being. Learning how to find
happiness within you is surprisingly easy. The 7 practices presented in
this book are remarkably simple but equally powerful in their potential
to transform your life. Therefore, when your happiness comes from
within, nothing can take it away from you, nor can any external forces
control it.
Ready to sow the seeds of lasting inner happiness? Let's jump right in!

1. Find Your Inner Pond

The inner pond visualization is a very powerful technique that helps you
create a haven of inner calm and tranquility within yourself. It's an
effective tool for measuring emotional turmoil - but an even more
powerful tool for calming and relieving stress. In essence, your inner
pond is your haven from the outside world where calm and peace are
always to be found.

Discover and create your inner pond with these steps:

• Close your eyes and focus on the very center of your core, which is
centered in the abdomen.
• Imagine a small pool of crystal-clear, pure water lying in the center of
your being.
• Give yourself enough time to visualize your inner pool until you can
see it clearly in your mind's eye. Over time, you'll be able to summon up
the image as soon as you close your eyes.
• Gaze at your inner pool and let your emotions guide you. Is the water
churning violently, creating waves and whirlpools? Is it mildly turbulent
with big ripples spreading across the surface? Is it calm and clear with no
ripples at all with a still, glassy surface?
• Observe your inner pond for a few minutes and note the degree of
turbulence or calm. This reflects your emotional state at that moment.

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• If your inner pond is churning and restless, start breathing slowly and
deeply, willing the waves to become calmer.
• Continue to breathe deeply and see the waves become calmer receding
into big ripples then smaller ripples then finally calming down altogether
until the surface of the pond is smooth and glassy.
• Gaze at the peaceful, crystal-clear surface of your inner pond and let
the calmness and tranquility spread through your whole being.
• When you return to reality, you'll feel amazingly peaceful and uplifted.

How to use your inner pond:

There are two ways you can use your inner pond. The first is for checking
in with yourself once or twice a day to make sure your pond is calm and
placid and basking in the inner tranquility for a few minutes.
The second way is to turn to your inner pond at times when you feel
stress or pressure. Go into yourself and breathe deeply, calming the
waves and ripples of your pond until you feel calm and peaceful.

2. Accept Yourself

Self-doubt, low self-esteem, and feelings of inferiority can breed deep

unhappiness and discontent. After all, if you don't love yourself first and
foremost, happiness will be fleeting and bittersweet. In extreme cases,
some people are wary of happiness and mistrust it because they don’t
feel deserving of it.

This step involves developing invincible self-acceptance and self-worth.

This mindset is developed with consistent practice to rewire your brain.
Your brain will gradually shed negative self-beliefs and self-doubts and

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replace them with empowering thoughts of strong confidence and total
belief and acceptance of yourself.

Here are some simple practices to foster self-acceptance.

• Celebrate your uniqueness

What unique talents, skills, or features are you particularly proud of?
Perhaps you have a great sense of humor, are good at expressing yourself
in writing, or have been complimented on your great smile or nice
singing voice. Keep your unique traits top of mind and reflect on them
often. In addition, make sure you practice one or two of them each day to
remind yourself of your greatness.

• Don’t compare yourself to others

This is an exercise in futility and negativity that breeds toxic emotions
and disempowerment.
Comparing yourself to others less fortunate, skilled, well-off, etc. to make
yourself feel bigger and better is petty and mean. Comparing yourself to
others whom you perceive as better breeds feelings of envy, resentment,
and inferiority. This practice is directly related to self-acceptance and
self-worth. The less you compare yourself to others, the more accepting
and happier with yourself you'll be.

• Don't seek validation from others

Sometimes, we misplace our time and effort into seeking praise,
approval, and acceptance from others to feel worthy. We don’t feel
valuable enough to validate ourselves, so we seek validation from others.
This is an extremely stressful practice because again, we're looking
outside of ourselves for happiness and satisfaction but instead, end up

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feeling disappointed and even angry with ourselves – because we know
it's wrong.
When you stop striving to please others and just be your genuine self,
you'll experience a wonderful sense of inner peace and joy. More
importantly, any praise or approval you do receive will be that much
more valuable because it's on your terms. It's the icing on the cake, so to
speak!

• Surround yourself with the right people

The right people are simply those who love and accept you as you are,
shortcomings and all. They celebrate and applaud your unique strengths,
never judge your flaws, and never seek to change you because they know
that change must come from within you. Avoid people who are overly
critical and try to find something wrong in everything you do. A bit of
constructive criticism is healthy and good for you but this type of
negative criticism can eat away at your self-confidence and self-
acceptance.

3. Make Gratitude a Daily Habit

The practice of gratitude and its impact on overall well-being has been
widely studied for years. The findings from a wealth of research confirm
that gratitude is a powerfully transformative emotion and that people
who practice it have much happier and more fulfilling lives. Among its
remarkable benefits, gratitude promotes physical, mental, and emotional
health. It reduces stress and the risk of stress-related diseases, boosts
immunity, promotes optimism and hope, and even increases life span.
These are more than enough reasons to make it part of your life today!

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Practicing gratitude means learning to see the glass half-full rather than
half-empty. Most of us tend to dwell on what we lack, what we want to
have, and how life's given us a bad deal. If you feel that way, pause, look
around you, and acknowledge all the wonderful things you already have
in your life. You'll be surprised at how abundant your life already is! You
already have all that you need and more.

Reflect on things like your good health, the health of your children and
loved ones, and the wonderful people in your life. Perhaps you have a
steady job with a regular income. Reflect on the comforts you have in
your home, your PC that helps you get things done so much faster, your
car and so many other things you take for granted. It's easy to see how
this mind shift transforms your feelings of discontent and frustration
into ones of happiness and contentment because you realize how full and
abundant your life is. Make gratitude part of your daily routine to begin
this amazing transformation. Here are some helpful suggestions:
• Keep a gratitude journal and use it every day as you're developing
gratitude. Briefly record what you felt thankful for each day and why. As
your gratitude mindset starts to become permanent, you can gradually
decrease the practice to once or twice weekly.
• Count 5 blessings every day by pausing several times and noting
something you are thankful for. It could be anything from a friendly
salesperson to a warm, sunny day. This will train your brain to find
positives wherever you are.
• Express your appreciation to others verbally or in writing as often as
you can. Tell a special coworker how much you appreciate their support.
Tell your kids how proud of them you are and how lucky you are to have
them in your life. Send your partner flowers and always express your

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appreciation for your true friends. Not only will this foster stronger
bonds and relationships. Your feelings will be reciprocated, flooding you
with warmth and joy.
• Find things to be grateful for in times of adversity. As gratitude
becomes a permanent mindset, you can take it a step further by counting
your blessings in difficult times. Counting your blessings dulls the
negative impact, builds resilience and hope, and helps you bounce back
quickly from setbacks and disappointments.

4. Embrace Minimalist Living

The term 'minimalist living' has negative associations for many people
who don't fully understand it. It brings up images of the mean and stingy
Scrooge, suggesting frugality and deprivation. We think that a
minimalist is someone who owns two pairs of socks and sleeps on a
mattress on the floor. In short, minimalist living is associated with
miserliness and deprivation. This is a big misconception. The motto of
minimalists is "less is more", meaning that while your life is less crowded
with material things, it's immensely richer and meaningful in other ways.
The goal of minimalist living is to pare down and simplify your life to
enjoy it more!

Adopting a minimalist lifestyle means learning to live with the essentials

and liberating yourself from the control of material possessions and the
pressure to buy more and own more. Arguably, this is more important
than ever in today's crazy, consumer-driven world. Owning more doesn’t
make you happy. It can make you more unhappy. What the essentials are
for one person can differ vastly from another. But the goal is to declutter

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your life as much as possible and embrace a much simpler and
streamlined lifestyle. Use these steps to guide your transition into
minimalist living:
• Declutter your home thoroughly one room at a time. Apply the 60-90
rule, where anything you haven't used in 60 to 90 days gets ditched or
stored – no buts! If you haven't used it in that long, you don’t need it.
• Get rid of duplicate items and gadgets. Do you need a TV in every
room? Do you need a tablet, two cell phones crammed with apps, and
two or three PCs?
• Organize your newly decluttered space so that it’s streamlined and
spare, with bare surfaces and items stored away neatly. You'll feel
immediately calm and uplifted as you gaze around your tidy living space.
• Hold yourself to the promise that you don't buy anything new unless
you need it. Before reaching for that credit card, ask yourself "do I want
it or do I need it?"
• Simplify your life as much as possible. moderate your use of
technology, avoid petty conflicts, and get out of toxic relationships.
Wherever you can, simplify, simplify, simplify!
• Expand your efforts to other areas in your life such as your office, your
car, or even your backyard or garden.
• Start small to see how much less you're comfortable living with then
once you get the hang of your new minimalist lifestyle, look for ways to
simplify further.

5. Nurture Your Spiritual Health

Spiritual health is very closely connected to personal happiness. Sadly,

many people are unaware of the term spiritual health altogether. They

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lump it in with mental or emotional health but spiritual health is a class
of its own. Spirituality doesn't mean only being religious and therefore,
doesn't concern you if you don't adhere to a specific faith. Spirituality
encompasses much more.

Spiritual health is a combination of emotions and thoughts related to

your innermost self and being. It includes your intuition, self-awareness,
your inner moral compass, and the sense of being connected to
something much greater than yourself. Strong spiritual health also
keeps your mood balanced and uplifted and promotes patience and
acceptance.

If you've been neglecting your spiritual well-being, it's time to change

that right away! So, whether you're religious or not, make it a consistent
practice to nurture your spirituality. You may find some of the following
suggestions helpful:
 Practice your faith by attending worship, praying, and reading your
scriptures.
 Reconcile with your past and find closure for negative experiences
and traumas. Severe childhood trauma may require therapy and this
is something you need to be completely honest with yourself about. If
your past is a deep source of unhappiness, and pain, don't hesitate to
seek professional help. In most cases, however, simply confronting
your past and understanding that it can't be done over is the first
step. Acknowledge that what happened is an integral part of who you
are today. Ultimately, your past has made you stronger and wiser.
Release the negative thoughts and feelings, forgive if you need to
(sometimes, this may include forgiving yourself), and find the closure
you need.

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 Develop mindfulness to stay grounded and overcome negative self-
talk. Mindfulness has a calming spiritual influence because it helps
you dwell less on the past or worry about the future.
 Practice meditation.
 Practice yoga.
 Commune with nature. It's one of the most uplifting spiritual
experiences ever.
 Learn to forgive and release negative emotions rather than let them
fester inside you. There are special meditations for this based on
ancient practices.
 Read about different faiths and spiritual practices
 Enjoy the scent of essential oils while praying or meditating. There's
no better way to calm the mind, uplift the spirit and enhance your
spiritual experience.

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