POWER OF THOUGHT

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

“Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius in “Meditations”

“What a man thinketh, that is he; this is the eternal mystery.” Upanishads

It’s all in the mind. You are what you think you are. These are oft heard statements and they
are absolutely true! That is the power of thought. Only you can decide whether to limit your
thoughts and therefore limit your progress, or think big and achieve the moon. If you think
you can’t, you won’t, whereas if you think you can, you certainly will. 

A positive thought can create positive energy around you, thereby attracting positivity.
Likewise, a negative thought will make your aura negative, thereby inviting negativity into
your life. Say, something has gone wrong and you keep thinking about it. It will make you
stay in that situation and make you feel down in the dumps. Alternatively, you could come up
with a way to fix the situation. Your optimistic attitude will kickstart a positive action and
result in getting you out of the situation. 

By changing your thought, you can change your reality. This is a natural power each of us
has at our disposal. One cannot have both positive and negative thoughts at the same time.
Inculcate the habit of choosing positive over negative and make positive thoughts dominate.
To quote James Allen in As a Man Thinketh, “As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love,
and the Lord of his own thoughts, man holds the key to every situation, and contains within
himself that transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he
wills.” In short, it is up to us to use our thoughts to achieve what we want, make our life what
we want it to be. 

A positive mindset anticipates positive outcomes such as success, prosperity, good health and
happiness and attracts the same. This brings us to the Law of Attraction.   

Quantum physics establishes that all physical reality is made up of vibrations of energy,
including thoughts. Napoleon Hill said, “Truly, thoughts are things – and powerful things at
that when they are mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for
their translation into riches or other material objects.” Learning to listen to your thoughts and
controlling and directing them to your desired outcome, will attract the said outcome to you.
Before trying to control external forces to work towards your goal, first control the powerful
inner force – your mind. Think success, believe it will be yours, expect it, and it will be! Says
James Allen, “Every thought seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and to take root
there, produces its blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own fruitage of
opportunity and circumstances. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.”

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” - Napoleon Hill. If you desire
something, imagine and visualize having it, and with your whole being, expect it. Since
thoughts are powerful cosmic waves, by doing so, you are sending out the same vibrational
frequency as your desired object. The result - it will be attracted to you. This is how the Law
of Attraction works - based on the fact that everything has energy and vibrates, and thought
waves are powerful cosmic waves. 

It is important to shift your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want, to reset the
direction of your vibrations from the negative to the positive. Instead of saying, “I don’t wish
to fail”, say “I wish to succeed” and attract success.

Michael Losier in his book “Law of Attraction” says that you should make a list of what you
don’t like/want. This will provide clarity as to what you do want. Then focus on what you do
want and attract it. Imagine you are in a “vibrational bubble” and surrounded by it. Include all
that you want in life by paying attention to those desires and thereby including them in the
bubble. 

Also very effective, is making positive/affirmative statements repeatedly about your desire
with the conscious mind in order to train the subconscious mind to be in line with what you
want. Instead of saying, “I want to be a CEO”, say “I am in the process of becoming a CEO”.
Imagine you are already there and remove all doubt about getting there. Your positive
statement will turn to reality; how soon it will happen will depend on the strength of your
focus and belief.  

The Sub-conscious Mind:

When practicing the power of thought, it is the sub-conscious mind you are using. To quote
Dr. Joseph Murphy, “The thoughts you habitually entertain in your mind have the tendency to
actualize themselves in physical conditions.”
When you wake up every morning, tell yourself, “Only good things will come my way today.
I choose to be happy today.” Said with faith, you will actually attract only goodness and
happiness all day. Negativity will fade away. “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it,”
said the Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius. And this holds true. 

The subconscious mind can also be used if you are unable to come up with a solution to a
problem/answer to a question. Before you sleep at night, commit it to your subconscious
asking it to find the answer. Go to sleep with the belief that you will get the answer during
sleep or when you wake up, and you will. It may not happen on the first night, but done
earnestly, you will, sooner or later. 

Navigate your subconscious mind to achieve an abundance of happiness in every sphere of

your life. A clear mental picture of what you wish for, with firm belief and expectation, is all
you need to do to allow the wish to manifest. 

Positive Thinking: 

Positivity attracts positivity. Positivity attracts happiness. Happiness precedes success.

Success leads to happiness. The cycle continues. So making your mind positive is the first
step to attract happiness. 

Positive emotions include: Desire, Faith, Love, Sex, Enthusiasm, Romance, Hope.

To achieve a positive mindset:

 Calm the mind. Unless the mind is calm, you cannot focus on what you want to
achieve. Your mind needs to be at peace, in a quiet state, where there are no worries,
anxieties and fears. Peace of mind is a requisite to happiness. Meditating regularly is
the best route to a calmer mind. Anulom vilom, Brahmari pranayama and blue light
meditation are extremely beneficial. 
 Exercise regularly; exercise releases endorphins making for a positive and happier
you. 
 Make some me-time everyday and indulge in an activity that you enjoy. Fun will
make your spirits upbeat. 
 Practise gratitude. Be grateful for all that you are blessed with. Start your day with
gratitude for being given another day to live. Look forward to the day with the firm
belief that only good things will happen to you and notice how good things unfold and
 come your way. Contrary to this, if you start your day on a grumpy note, it will spill
over to your attitude towards people and things. Things will go awry and you will find
yourself more upset at the end of the day. At the end of each day, say a prayer of
gratitude. 
 Pray - “Without Divine assistance, I cannot succeed; with it I cannot fail.” Abraham
Lincoln
 Write down at least one positive experience of the day in a diary daily. It will uplift
your mood. 
 Avoid the company of negative people. Their negative aura can influence you
adversely, making you negative too.
 De-clutter your mind of negative thoughts. Train your mind to ignore negative and
focus on positive thoughts. With persistent practice, you will be able to dwell on
positive thoughts. 
 Surround yourself with positive people and those who inspire/ motivate you. Their
positive energy will spill over to you. 
 Don’t compare yourself with others. This often leads to jealousy, envy, and feeling
low. Focus on yourself and on how to make yourself better than what you have been
in the past. 
 Be less self-critical and judgmental about yourself. Boost your self-confidence by
reminding yourself of all your strengths, skills and talents.  
 Forgive and forget. Grievances and grudges will make you sink into a negative mood
and invite more negativity into your life. 
 Move on from the past rather than clinging to it. Let go, live in the present and work
on planning for a better future. 
 Never let go of your focus on your goal. Keep thinking about it, talking about it, how
to get it, and feel as though you’ve already achieved it – this will make you feel happy
and in control of your life. 
 Visualise positive outcomes and situations. It can actually reverse negativity into
positivity. 
 Smile. It costs nothing and immediately makes you feel good. 
 Be optimistic. Look at the brighter side of things, people and situations. Never give up
on what you want - stay put on your goal, keep telling yourself you will achieve it,
and you will. Even at times when something goes wrong, look at it with a positive
perspective – as a valuable lesson to learn from. 
If you are feeling positive, your mind will open up to new possibilities, optimizing your
potential to embrace new skills that in turn will help you to get more out of life. 

When everything is going well, it is easy to stay positive. It’s when things go awry that your
mettle will be put to the test. Therefore, practise positivity and make “I can!” a permanent
attitude - one that will help you overcome any obstacle with confidence. Decide to stay
positive, no matter what. 

Remember, you are a part of the universe. If you are happy, positive and at peace, you will
automatically spread it to those around you. Your inner world will extend to the external
world. 

Negative Thinking:

Negative thinking limits your thinking process. It clouds your clarity of thought. Negative
emotions such as anger, fear, revenge, greed, superstition, jealousy, suspicion, hatred,
blaming and complaining, close your mind to the goodness and happiness around you. They
make you sad, hurt, depressed. It is a destructive pattern of thinking. Just as a placebo
triggered by a positive thought has a positive and healing effect, a nocebo has a negative one. 

To rid yourself of a negative thinking pattern:

 Accept the fact that you have a negative mindset.

 Perceive and understand when you are negative and what makes you feel negative.
 Replace the negative “I can’t” with “I can”, “Life is a mess” with “Life is beautiful”.
This will take time and great effort on your part, but slowly, positivity will become a
way of life. 
 Once a particular negative emotion has been replaced by a positive one, take up the
next negative quality you want to work on. Gradually, you will have made positivity
an attitude and your life and destiny will be yours to command. 

“Let us then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labour and to wait.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

GOAL SETTING

“The secret of happiness is something to do.” John Burroughs

A life without goals is a life lived aimlessly. Setting goals gives life a purpose, something to
work for. It gives you control over your life. 

Set both short-term and long-term goals. Make sure the goal is worth following – one that
will bring you value. Value could be financial, emotional, physical or mental well-being,
whatever means a lot to you. The greater the value, the more inspired you will be to follow
the goal, thinking of the results. 

Once you know precisely what you want, chart out a clear plan and start working towards it.
It is important to set a deadline. Without a deadline, it is easy to lose focus and direction.
Break the goal into smaller goals to make them easily achievable. 

Review your progress everyday as you step inch by inch towards your goal. 

Every day, visualize yourself in the future, enjoying the fruits of your labour. Imagine the
satisfaction you are deriving by having achieved your goal. For example, close your eyes and
see yourself at a ripe old age, looking back with the satisfaction of having achieved all your
goals. Or imagine someone telling your success story to the world. Make the realization of
your goal dominate your thoughts. 

On your journey to achieving your goal, reward yourself at every small achievement. This
will boost your confidence and no matter what obstacles come your way, walk on till you
achieve what you have set out to. You may have to make small or big sacrifices, but it will all
be worth it. The journey towards achieving your goals and the actual accomplishment will
make your life more meaningful, more fulfilling. Your life will be one of purpose. 

Setting goals and following them is removing uncertainty as to what life has in store for you.
Instead, you take command of your life and chart your destiny.  

“Riches do not respond to wishes. They respond only to definite plans, backed by definite
desires, through constant PERSISTENCE.” – Napoleon Hill
When setting goals, the following points need to be kept in mind:

 The goal should be clear and specific; you should be able to visualize the outcome. 
 Goals should be in line with your career/ personal interests. 
 It should be challenging, but at the same time, achievable. It’s no point setting a goal
that is unrealistic and impossible to accomplish. 
 The goal should motivate you and drive you to work towards it, so it should be one
that will fetch you value. You should know why it is important to you. 
 Set long-term goals as well as short-term goals breaking them down into timelines.
What do you want done by the end of the day, week, month, year, five years, ten
years? Setting yourself a deadline will provide an urgency to accomplish. 
 Goals should be measurable to enable you to know your degree of success – how far
you’ve come and how far you have to go.  
 Simply setting a goal is not enough. A lot of effort needs to be put in to achieve it.
Write down your goals and put them up in a place where they will serve as a reminder
time and again, thus helping you to stay focused. List out a plan of action with a
deadline for each action and then stick to it. Review your progress on a frequent basis
to evaluate your progress and to ensure that you are on schedule.

Motivation:

Motivation is the force that propels you forward to achieve your goal. 

To be motivated and stay motivated, set smaller goals leading to achieving your major goal.
Since smaller goals are easier to achieve, every time you accomplish a small goal, your
motivation will be reinforced. 

Visualise the result you are working towards and its value to you. It will make you feel
happy, thereby strengthening your motivation. 

Be determined to finish what you start. Be persistent and do not give up.  

An excerpt from a famous poem, “It Couldn’t Be Done” by Edgar Guest, captures the
essence of a positive attitude and the determination to achieve your dreams:

“…There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure;

There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle it in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start to sing as you tackle the thing

That “cannot be done”, and you’ll do it.”

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Dealing with Stress

Multi-tasking, fighting against time to meet deadlines, personal and professional insecurities,
relationship issues, unexpected changes, and health problems are only some of the causes
leading to stress. In today’s fast-paced life, in trying to keep up with demands and
expectations, stress is a common condition. 

Stress is the body’s physical response to any change or challenge that threatens to upset your
balanced way of life. If handled well, it can actually motivate you to tap your potential to
give your best, but stress in the long term has harmful effects on the body, mind and spirit,
and if not checked in time, can result in throwing your life out of gear. 

Common symptoms of stress can be any or a combination of the following:

Mood swings

Low self-esteem, feeling of worthlessness

Restlessness, anxiety, inability to concentrate

Fatigue and low energy levels

Irritability, quick temper

Nervousness

Headache, chest pain, muscular tension, upset stomach

Insomnia

Eating disorders – eating too much or too less

Alcohol, cigarette and drug abuse

Consequences of stress:

Stress, if not treated, can over a period of time, lead to serious physical, mental and emotional
health problems, some of which are heart disease, high blood pressure, digestion problems,
skin and hair problems, eating disorders, anxiety and depression.

Techniques to prevent stress:

Prevention is better than cure. If you are in control of your life, you’ll never encounter stress.
The following techniques work well for preventing stress.

1. Exercise combined with a balanced diet is one of the best ways to combat stress. Yoga,
aerobics, dance, and swimming are excellent ways of working out. Likewise, breathing and
meditation techniques practised regularly go a long way in keeping the mind calm and
composed.     

Yoga asanas, mudras and pranayama for stress relief:

Yoga asanas: Uttanasana, Paschimottanasana, Janusirsana, Balasana, Shavasana

Mudras: Gyan mudra for calming the mind/ de-stressing, Praan mudra to energise your body
and overcome/prevent fatigue

Pranayama: Anulom vilom, Brahmari pranayama

2. Get enough sleep. Sleep requirement varies from individual to individual; it can be
between 6 – 10 hours. Monitor how much rest your body needs and listen to it. 

3. Eat right. Follow a healthy diet in line with your blood group. Caffeine, alcohol and
cigarettes are best avoided. 
4. Have fun. Carve out time not only on weekends, but on a daily basis to indulge in an
activity that you enjoy. Learn to relax and take it easy – this will rejuvenate you and ready
you to return to your work with renewed zest. A work-life balance is crucial for long-term
productivity. 

5. Spend time with loved ones. Their kind words and support and the very fact that they are
there for you can work as a soothing balm for your body and senses.

Techniques to overcome stress:

If you’ve already fallen prey to the clutches of stress’ evils, the above techniques can help
you beat the condition. 

That apart, you need to identify what caused your stress. Are you responsible for it or are
there external factors? Is it a passing phase or is it a permanent part of your life? How are you
tackling it? Are you resorting to working incessantly, lashing out at others, over-eating,
under-eating, drinking, smoking? Identifying these facts will help you to get a handle on your
life and prevent stress from recurring.   

It is not always possible to avoid stress and there are stressful situations you simply cannot
shy away from. In such a scenario, limit the amount of time you spend with people/factors
that tend to stress you out. 

If in a conflicting situation you can’t change, bend/compromise a bit, and find a middle path
to make it a win-win situation for both/all parties.  

Never keep feelings bottled up – give vent to them by communicating with the person
concerned in a civil way.  

Prioritise. In your daily schedule, do only what’s necessary and don’t take on more than you
can handle.  

There are certain things you can’t change or control, a striking example being death. Learn to
accept it. 

Don’t go into self-pity mode and feel sorry for yourself on being stressed. If you are stressed
because someone is being unfair to you (say, your boss is dumping more work on you than is
fair), be assertive and say “No”. 
If faced with stress regularly, keep a bottle of your favourite scented oil with you (lavender,
lemon grass, jasmine and rose are good options) and take a whiff when feeling very stressed.
These oils soothe the senses. The same can be added to your bath for a similar effect. 

Music is the food for the soul and the senses. In the space that you work/ study, have some
light instrumental music to ease the work pressure and uplift your mood.  

Take a break to appreciate nature – watch the sunset, the clouds, the changing colours of the
sky, the flowers, the trees, the birds.

Stay positive. When faced with a stress factor, look at it as a learning/growth opportunity.

Pray. Spirituality and faith in the divine make you stronger to face life’s challenges.

Design a reward system for yourself – that every time you finish a job/ task, you will gift
yourself a spa treatment/ a weekend getaway/ a favourite chocolate…, or whatever it is that
gives you pleasure and helps you unwind. 

If stress gets out of hand and you are not able to control it, seek professional help/
counselling. 

CRISIS MANAGEMENT

Dealing with Crisis

A crisis can affect people, companies, countries… When a crisis strikes, people get actively
involved to help and work in unison to appease the problem. Whether it is a health
emergency or an unexpected financial crunch in the family, an earthquake, or a business
struck by an economic downturn, there is an urgency with which everyone operates. Once the
crisis passes, everything returns to normal. Ideally, post the crisis, those involved should
reflect and review the problems and see if adapting certain changes/ patterns/ techniques
would help avoid crises in the future. A crisis can be used to learn and grow. For example,
say a sudden medical problem in the family has led to a financial crunch; to avoid the same
tension in the future, get a medical insurance so that in case another illness occurs, you have
the safety net of an insurance cover. Certain crises are caused due to external factors which
are not totally under our control – natural calamities being the most striking example, or a
small company affected by the country’s/ global economic crisis. But even in such cases,
preventive measures can be taken so as not to be hit as badly as when unprepared. 

It is generally observed that the first time a crisis occurs, its impact is huge and serious. The
next time it occurs (common examples are earthquake, flood or tornadoes), the crisis will be
dealt with based on the last time’s experience and handled with more maturity. Most common
responses to crises include trauma, panic, anxiety, and stress.    

Dealing with a crisis:

 Stay calm. Getting agitated is not going to avert the crisis. This is easier said than
done, especially if it involves a family member’s health issue or the chances of your
small business set-up at a risk of closure. Nevertheless, be composed; only then you
can think clearly of what steps are to be taken as a remedy. 
 A calming meditation technique such as Anulom Vilom, deep breathing such as
Mahat Pranayama, or Brahmari Pranayama to reduce anxiety and tension can help
tremendously when faced with a crisis. Practice of these on a regular basis makes you
calm and composed and well-prepared to take on any situation. During crisis, practise
them to maintain your calm.  
 Pray regularly. Prayer has been known to miraculously avert disasters. Even during a
crisis, pray; ask for spiritual help with faith and your prayer will be answered. 
 Stay positive and gather all your inner strength to face the situation. Stay rooted in
your belief that you can handle it. Don’t let go of your resilience and courage.
Visualize the situation coming under control and everything being smooth again.  
 Ask for help. Especially in cases of natural disasters/ epidemics, it is wise to express
your concern, and allow people/ organizations to help you. 
 Accept the fact that the crisis has happened; accept a change it may have brought
about, say the loss of a loved one or a life-threatening disease. In the case of the loss
of a family member, allow yourself to grieve and then reflect on all the good times so
as to retain the good memories. Do not suppress your emotions. Cry if you have to;
give vent to your feelings. If the number of days of your life are numbered, rather than
becoming bitter and cursing your luck or developing grudges, see how you can make
the most of your remaining days, how you can contribute in those last days so that
you make a positive difference. Or focus on doing all the things you wanted to do and
try to do as many of them as possible so that you leave happy.  
  If as a future professional, you are faced with a company crisis, break the news to all
parties concerned – employees, customers, shareholders, suppliers – rather than wait
for them to get the news from other sources. Inform, explaining the situation and the
repercussions, so that even though you are giving out bad news, you win the
confidence of those concerned, by being transparent and honest. From then on, keep
updating so that all concerned are in the know. 
 Anaylse what caused the crisis. This will help you to avoid the situation from
occurring again or if it is beyond your control, to reduce its effect. Consider multiple
options and consult others to design a plan of action to deal with the crisis. 
 On both the personal and professional fronts, planning in advance can go a long way
in dealing with a crisis when it happens. Keep all factors in mind when planning –
who would be affected, how, and what could be done to keep repercussions to the
minimum. One simple example is taking back-ups of all work done on computers so
that inspite of regular maintenance, should computers crash, the data is safe. 
 When undergoing and dealing with a crisis, make sure you are managing your time
well. Prioritize and do only what’s absolutely necessary. 
 Once the crisis is dealt with, allow yourself a change of scene to recuperate and
rejuvenate. 

ADDICTION

Addiction

When a person is hooked onto a substance – alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, gambling, and sex,
among others - and feels the compulsion to resort to it regularly, which leads to disturbing
his/ her normal life activities, he/ she is said to be addicted.  

Reasons for addiction:

It is generally seen that addicts get a high out of what they are addicted to, and this provides
them a way to break the monotony of mundane life.

Addicts resort to alcohol or other forms of intoxication in order to get a release from the
trauma/ difficulty they are going through, as intoxication provides temporary relief. 
Peer pressure has also been known to lead to addiction. What starts out as just trying one
cigarette/ glass of alcohol while hanging out with friends, may gradually build up into a habit
and then an addiction. 

Stress has often been seen as a reason to turn to certain habits in order to de-stress which go
on to become addictions. 

Excess money and the freedom to do what one likes with it may lead an individual to try
different experiences and eventually get hooked. 

Dealing with addicts:

A possible way to make addicts give up the addiction is to show them something better with
which to replace the product they are hooked on to.  

It is also important to listen to them and understand them rather than lash out at them or leave
them on their own. Once you know how or why they became addicts, you would be in a
better position to help them. 

If the problem is really serious, especially if it involves physical abuse/ violence, they need to
be guided to take professional help. 

Dealing with addiction:

 The first step to healing addiction is to accept the fact that you are addicted. Only
then, can the process of getting over it start. 
 Getting over addiction can take a while. You have to stay put on your resolve to de-
addict yourself, no matter what. Self-control is a powerful tool. If you think you can,
you will. Be patient with yourself. 
 Ask those close to you to help you overcome. 
 Perceive the factors/ causes that trigger your craving – find a way to deal with it in a
constructive and positive way.
 Avoid people with whom you are likely to use the product – instead, start socializing
with people who don’t have the said addiction. 
 Avoid places where the product is easily available. 
 Try to distract yourself when faced with a craving – read a book, have a meal that you
enjoy, take a walk, call on a friend, solve a crossword, … just to take your mind off. 
  If being stressed out at the end of the working day is what is making you resort to the
product, learn healthy ways to de-stress. Relaxing doesn’t mean only on weekends/
off-days; make some time for an activity you enjoy, everyday.
 If being lonely is your trigger factor, make yourself go out and make friends; socialize
or find a life companion. 
 Try to replace the substance of your addiction with something healthier and beneficial
that is likely to produce the same effect.  
 Yoga, Pranayama and Meditation as a way to prevent/ heal addiction:

It is important that each individual takes the responsibility of exercising self-control and does
not allow himself/ herself to fall into the trap of addiction. One owes this to oneself, to one’s
family and to society. 

What addicts are looking for is bliss. This bliss – a state of calm and experiencing a sense of
pleasure can be easily achieved through regular practice of yoga, pranayama and meditation.
While addiction disconnects you from the world and yourself, yoga connects you back.
Asanas, breathing and meditation done consciously, harmonise the body, mind and soul and
make for a permanent positive state of mind. 

A regular session of Hatha yoga (yoga with breathing) and pranayama awaken your senses,
enabling you not only to overcome addictions, but also to prevent future addictions. During
the practice, you become aware of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, feel
energized and positive, and calm. This unleashes tremendous power within you to be in
control of yourself and deal with any life situation with ease, confidence and a winning
streak. 

 If the addiction is too serious and disrupting your life, professional help should be
sought. Rehabilitation centres are the best bet in such situations to completely get over
the addiction. Be honest with those treating you – be open and share all your facts
about addiction, and the road to recovery will be easier than you think.

The most common of addictions are those to alcohol and cigarettes. Here are ways of how to
deal with it.

Dealing with smoking addiction:

  Giving up smoking is easier said than done. Once you take the initiative to give it up,
set up a plan of reducing one cigarette from the pack everyday or every two days.
Continue this till you reach a cigarette a day and finally give up. Get someone close to
monitor you and to stop you from breaking the regime when your craving gets
unbearable. Avoid cheating them as in reality, you’d be cheating yourself. It’s all in
the mind – if you will yourself to give up, you will be able to. 
 When you feel like smoking, delay the action by getting busy with another activity. 
 Keep your cigarette pack, ashtray, lighter and match box out of your sight, so as not to
remind you of smoking. 
 Hang out with non-smokers rather than smokers. 
 Analyse what makes you want to smoke and then work on avoiding/ doing away with
those trigger factors.
 Set a date for quitting and tell family and friends so that you feel answerable, and
thereby increase your likelihood of sticking to your plan. 
 Chew gum to keep your mouth busy. 
 Exercise, meditate, pray – these will keep you thinking positive.
 Drink lots of water – this will keep you hydrated and help deal with the nicotine
withdrawal symptoms. 
 Use power of thought – visualize yourself as a non-smoker. Keep telling yourself you
are a non-smoker. This formula can work like magic. 

Dealing with alcohol addiction:

Any or a combination of the following symptoms may point to the fact that you are an
alcoholic:

 A strong urge to drink, often

 Inability to stop drinking once you start
 An immunity to alcohol – not getting high and therefore continuing to drink till you
do
 Throwing temper tantrums when your drinking schedule is disturbed or alcohol is not
available when you feel the urge
 Hiding your habit of drinking from friends, family and colleagues and lying about it
 Experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as sweating, shaking, nausea when you
don’t drink
  Losing interest in daily activities and normal life with the urge to resort to drinking 
 Black outs, memory lapses, inability to judge/ make decisions, confused state of mind,
dangerous behaviour, trouble with personal/ professional relationships

If you are not a drinker, don’t start – there are other healthier ways to unwind/ enjoy. Be
strong enough to not give in to a habit that can mess up your life. Those who are social
drinkers should keep a track of how much they consume, should sip their drink, dilute it, and
have a snack with it. Try to replace alcohol with a soft drink/ juice – don’t get carried away
by others if you are not in favour of alcohol. Be assertive – refuse. Social drinkers are at risk
to get progressive with their drinking habit, eventually leading to alcoholism. So stop while
you can – once an alcoholic, the problem is out of hand and professional help is required. 

De-addiction from Social Media and Gadgets:

Technology has taken over our lives like never before. We have become slaves to gadgets
and feel the urge to check our phones every time there is a beep. It is addictive and is getting
worse. Little do we realise how much unproductive time we spend and how we get
manipulated by advertisements that pop up, to buy things we do not need. 

Following are a few ways by which we can control and cut down our usage:

Do you really need to be on a social media platform? How is it benefitting you? Are you
simply on FB or Twitter or Instagram because your peers are? Or because you don’t want to
miss out on the gossip? Step back, reflect and decide for yourself if you really should be
there. If not, quit. Join only that platform which is benefitting you. Try to be on only one
platform. Minimise your presence on social media. 

Set a time of the day or perhaps, just a day of the week when you will check the updates. You
will end up saving tremendous amount of time. 

Try to have access on your laptop rather than on your phone. There is a tendency to check the
phone more often as it is within easier reach than the laptop which needs to be switched on
every time. 

Indulge in hobbies, take up an activity that will keep you busy and make you stay away,
thereby controlling your impulse to check your status or updates. 
Rather than communicating through text messages, meet up with people. Not only will this
reduce your addiction, it will forge bonds that are lost by communication through
technology. 

Every time you feel the urge to check your phone or laptop, delay the action by doing
something different. Slowly, the urge will reduce as you will realise that you don’t need to
stay connected all the time. 

At least one day of the week, switch off all gadgets and try connecting with nature instead. Or
just hang out with friends and leave your phone at home. You will soon realise how much
nicer it is to not have a device that keeps distracting you with beeps every now and then. You
will also learn that it is absolutely possible to survive without gadgets and that the world does
not end if you don’t check or respond immediately. 

THE ART OF PERSUASION

Ways to be persuasive:

First, listen. Empathise with the person. Put yourself in their shoes to understand their
situation and see what they really need. Hear them out genuinely so that they feel relaxed.
Whatever you agree to, express it to make it known. “You are right” can work wonders
before you put forward your idea/solution to persuade. This will make them comfortable and
more open to your views.

Have a good temperament. A good-natured, amiable person is more likely to be heard than
someone who’s negative and openly disagrees. 

Agree and show them they are right. Then tactfully, show them the side they did not see (not
as a mistake on their part) and they will simply see it as a perspective they missed and will
listen to you willingly. 

Avoid insisting and sticking to your point of view. Never try to prove that you are right. It
can put off the person. 

Find out what’s important to the person and show them they will get that from you/ your
solution. “What’s your take on…?”, “How do you feel about…?”, “What is your opinion
about…?” are some of the lines that will make the person talk and come out with what he/she
really wants. 

Instead of using the word “but”, use “at the same time”. This shows that you agree to their
viewpoint and simply want to share yours too. Then you put forward your viewpoint; chances
are it will be accepted easily. 

If you want something, then choose the right time. For example, you want a raise, it would
backfire if you see the boss on a day when he is really busy with a bigger issue. 

If you want to complain, whether you are doing it verbally or in writing, make sure you start
and end politely. Do not attack as it will make the person defensive. Use phrases like “I am
concerned”, “I’d like to share with you…”

PEER PRESSURE
All of us have, at sometime or other, faced peer pressure. Peers are people who are your age;
they could be your classmates, the friends you grew up with, your colleagues at work. You
face peer pressure when one or two of the group or all of them decide to do something, say go
to the bar for a drink, and you, a non-drinker, is asked to accompany them. You want to say
no, but fear of rejection or being the subject of ridicule by the group makes you succumb.
You give in to peer pressure. 
Peer pressure influences thoughts, behaviour patterns and lifestyle choices. Study patterns,
fashion choices, drinking, smoking, drug abuse, sexual behaviour, use of technology, lying to
parents, and delinquency are some of the common areas where peer pressure plays an
important role, especially during adolescence. As one enters adulthood, peer pressure slowly
loses its importance. 
It is very natural to listen to and learn from your peers. This works both ways - just as you
may get influenced by them, they in turn may get influenced by you. This influence may be
positive or negative. 
Positive peer pressure:
Peers who inspire you to study seriously, pursue higher studies, follow rules, respect self and
others, and help you inculcate good habits such as discipline, exercise, healthy eating, artistic
skills, are examples of positive peer pressure. Simply put, if you choose your friends
carefully, you will be under good influence that can nurture your personality constructively.   
Negative peer pressure:
Peer pressure that makes you get hooked on to bad habits that are harmful such as drug and
alcohol abuse, indecent fashion fads, bunking classes, lying, and stealing, can lead to ruining
your personality, your reputation, and your future. Following the trends of peers blindly and
getting into the habit of following what others are doing, will eventually mar your
individuality. 
Common reasons why the youth give in to peer pressure:
to be accepted in the friends circle, to fit in, to conform 
to avoid being ridiculed / laughed at by the group for not doing something
to try something new
to follow the herd – “If everyone else is doing it, so should I.”

Responses open to you when faced with peer pressure:

 Say “no”, maintain an independent stance and not conform

 Make an excuse so as to avoid conforming
 Suggest a better option to the group to avoid conforming
 Leave/ stop socializing with the said group to avoid conforming
 Give in willingly and go along with the rest
 Give in inspite of not being willing – make an “identity shift” and replace your values
with those of the group

Dealing with peer pressure:

 It is not very easy to resist/ oppose peer pressure, but this is where will power and
self-control come in. You should have the confidence to stick to your values and
refuse to do what you feel is not what you want or is morally/ ethically incorrect. 

 If you have at least one other person in the group who thinks alike, your task will be
easier, but even if you are the only one who differs, learn to stand up for yourself and
honour your belief system. Be your own person. 

 If you feel you simply can’t resist, opt out of the group and make other friends who
think like you. 
  If you give in and should the situation get out of hand, where you follow the group’s
norms and suffer from guilt, confide in / consult a parent/ teacher/ older sibling/ friend
to help you deal with it. 

ANGER MANAGEMENT

One of the most common human emotions is anger, a negative emotion that sets the path for a
negative mindset. Anger can be controlled, easily. 

 Dynamic meditation: One way is to get your anger out of your system using a
dynamic meditation technique. In the privacy of your room, abuse/curse/beat a pillow
imagining it’s the person your anger is directed at. Shout/scream and take out all the
anger in you. Say things you cannot tell the person on his/her face. Go on till you
have given vent to all your angry feelings, have thrown it out of your system, and
have no more anger left in you. Sit quietly for a while and feel the calm.
 Gibberish meditation: Close yourself in the privacy of your room where no one can
hear you and talk absolute rubbish - any nonsense words and sounds that come to
your mind. This makes you laugh at yourself, thereby calming you down.  
 Blue light meditation: Practise this to calm your mind.
 Breathing techniques such as Anulom vilom and Brahmari pranayam practiced
regularly calm the mind and make it less prone to getting angry. They enable you to
control your mind. Chanting also helps to soothe the mind. 
 Practise Gyan mudra to control anger and Prithvi mudra to increase your patience
and tolerance level. 
 Identify the cause of your anger, the problem at hand. Find a solution and resolve
the problem. This serves well when you are not face-to-face with the person you are
angry with. 
 When you are face-to-face with the person who is causing you anger, you may want
to blow your head off, but instead, think of a pleasant situation that gives you
happiness (the party/ holiday you are looking forward to, people who make you
happy). This will help to calm you down. 
  Try to make light of the situation. This may sound absurd, but try imagining which
animal or bird the person you are angry with resembles. It will immediately make you
feel lighter and less angry.
 Try to see the situation from his/her perspective. It might turn out that you are
wrong, in which case your anger is not justified. The realization will calm you down. 
 Try to analyse what makes you angry or what triggers your anger. Avoiding such
factors helps. 
 Forgive and forget is the best method, but is easier said than done. If you can’t
forgive the act, try to reason out assertively and resolve the issue amicably. 

DEALING WITH CRITICISM

Criticism is not easy to take. It takes a lot of self-control and skill to handle it aptly. Since it is
a challenge, it is common to react negatively. If taken in a positive way, it can help us
improve; if taken negatively, it can lower our self-esteem, self-confidence and in severe
cases, lead to depression, aggression or anger.

Criticism can be constructive or destructive. The tone of delivery or the intention

differentiates one from the other. 

Constructive criticism is aimed at bringing your mistakes to your notice with the genuine
intention to help you improve on them. Usually, it is put forward in a gentle way,
professionally. Though you realize that it is for your benefit to correct your mistake and
thereby grow, even this form of criticism may hurt. But rather than feeling down, take it
positively, learn from it and turn it to your advantage. 

Destructive criticism is usually done out of malice, thoughtlessly, and with the deliberate
intention to hurt, and can cause anger, stress, aggression, and lowering of self-esteem. 

Whatever the form of criticism, it more often than not, leads to feeling low, sad, angry, hurt,
rejected, bitter, and may also lead to days of negative thinking and plans to hit back at the
person. 

Dealing with people who are critical:

Some people are critical about everything. They are negative by nature and criticize without
realizing that they may be hurting the person they are criticizing. Or they may be doing it to
intentionally hurt or trigger off a debate or show you down, out of habit. The following ways
can help when facing such people:
 Remain calm and composed. Use anger management techniques to prevent losing
your cool. 
 If you can’t think of an immediate response, try repeating the critic’s statement to
him/ her. This will not only help you to take your attention off your response, it will
also show that you are neither refuting nor accepting the criticism. 
 Use a statement like “I think I see why you are saying that; perhaps I haven’t
explained my point well.” This way, you show respect to the critic and keep your
perspective open rather than trying to prove him/ her wrong. Or you could say, “I
appreciate your feedback; that’s something to think over.” This way, you postpone
dealing with the argument and show that you are truly interested in improving. 
 If you feel you can’t control your temper, quietly excuse yourself and walk away till
you are composed. Shouting back will portray you in a negative light. 
 If you know their nature, don’t take what they say to heart or seriously. 
 Don’t counter-criticize or retaliate - it will lead to an unnecessary argument and
perhaps spoil relations. 
 Do not allow their comments to affect your self-esteem. If you know they are trying
intentionally to pull you down, simply ignore them; they are not worth fretting over. 
 Reflect and try to see if there is any truth in what they are saying – it may enlighten
you on an aspect of yourself that needs to be worked upon. 

Dealing with criticism:

 If the criticism is from an expert in your field of work, listen to it carefully even
though you may not like what you hear. Whether the method of delivery is polite or
deprecatory, reflecting on what this person says will help you correct your mistakes,
improve, and grow as a professional. 
 Be calm. Don’t let anger get the better of you. Control your temper or take time to
divert your mind and later, when feeling composed, tackle the criticism honestly.
Perhaps, the criticizer has a point and you need to improve. This is especially true in
case you are asking for feedback. Be open to criticism in such a scenario if you really
want to improve. 
 Try not to put on a defensive attitude, offer excuses, or try to prove the criticizer
wrong. Don’t take it personally, especially if it is a superior at work. He/ she is
probably trying to make you more productive. 
 When you are criticized, don’t jump to a conclusion. You may be misinterpreting the
comment just because it is negative. Ask questions and understand what the person is
trying to put across. It may turn out they are right and by hearing them out, you may
have the opportunity to improve. 
 Sometimes, it is the tone of criticism that is annoying rather than the message. Ignore
the tone and focus on the message. Try to analyse the meaning of the message - you
may be able to see that there is scope for you to make changes and improve.  
 Accept the fact that nobody is perfect; nor are you, but you would like to be. This will
make you open to criticism in order to better yourself.
 Look at the criticism as a new perspective – one that you may not have considered,
one that may help you achieve your goals more easily. 
 If the criticism is from your boss and you are convinced that you are right, arrange
one-on-one meetings to try and convince him to see your point of view; alternatively,
try to reach a middle path for a win-win outcome in the best interests of the company.
 Avoid thinking too much about what a critic said to you – do not sulk , fret or plan to
hit back. If it is constructive, act on it and move on. 
 If the criticism is unjust/ unfair, simply ignore it and do not let it ruin your self-
esteem. Try to avoid such people. 
 If criticism brings to light an aspect of yourself you do not appreciate, take it as an
opportunity to work on it. Say, if someone calls you “laid back” and deep down you
know it’s true or you realise what it is that you are doing wrong, work on it. At the
end of the day, you want to be flawless. 
 Do not let a critical comment stop you from forging ahead with your dreams. Also,
don’t let the worry of potential criticism stop you from taking up a challenge.  
 Spend some time to reflect on the criticism – see where you have been going wrong,
admit your mistake, take responsibility for it, and make a plan to work on it.
 Work on your physical and mental health – if you are healthy, energetic, calm and
focused, you will be able to tackle criticism much better than if you are unwell and
stressed out.