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Monet Watson
Composition II
Professor Davis
March 8, 2023
Have you ever had the ability to have a first love given to you and have a first love taken away

from you just in the blink of an eye at only a young age, when having the joy of not only being

able to call this person your love but your best friend and who happens to be the same person

who so happens to gave you your very life as well. My belief is that no matter what religion or

belief you may have that the presence of God is around no matter how dark the situation is for I

have seen the face of God in many a life-changing affair.

At the young age of thirteen years old, my Mother and I were thick as thieves when it

came to having a Mother-Daughter bond. For me, it seem normal to have your Mother as your

best friend it never seem to offend me when my friends from middle school would pick on me

for being a mommy’s girl, for me it was a coat of armor knowing I would always have the truest,

and most loyalist friend by my side like a trusted stead in a magical story book there to help me

fight off the magic dragon I would always be protected; Yet no one told me that protection

would never come to save me from the decaying hands of death, coming to steal my Mother

away far too soon for her departure all on that cold January day, listening to the medical

emergencay man touch my Mother’s body as I watched her icy blue feet already knowing the

answer to a question I did not want to be solved. God had turned his back on me for no reason at

all, what had I done to make him want and go an take the only person who truly understood me

to my fullest, for my accomplishments even if they were small, to make me smile when things

did not seem worth smiling about. God had become an evil in my eyes the evil character in my

book, making me an innocent hero weak to any temptation, only what can a thirteen year only do

to feel the pain she feels inside; Self-harming became not only an addiction but a temporary best
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friend helping me to cope with any memory that would spark or feeling that would be there

knowing my Mother was missing a moment of my life her in this very instant, the scars would

grow more and more until the stage of graduation drew near.

Eighteen years old and finally on my own living in my own house and free to make my

own decisions. Now facing a new journey of dating with what I would hope would be everlasting

love ends up being love with a con woman, nevertheless broken and hurt wishing I could call my

best friend to help me understand how love is supposed to work but only sitting only in my

apartment with the internet channeling more into the depression of not having my Mother here to

be a part of another milestone in my life able to use self-harm as an escape with a new twist as a

medical mental health problem began to spiral uncontrollably leading to a major hospitalization.

Eyes blinking dully, groggily looking out of an ICU window, hearing a voice that sounds like

heaven. Could it be my mom did I accomplish what I had been trying to do since thirteen years

old? “ Monet.”... Looking more clearly I could tell it was my adopted Mother trying to get my

attention making sure I was okay another Mother alerted to the actions of their child even if not

her’s still wanting to make sure they are safe and taken care of. “ I found this.”, my aunt slowly

lifted a small plastic baggy with my prescription pill in the bag. “ The doctor said had you had

taken your pills you would have died but you missed one.”

Angered at what my Aunt had just said I rolled over to my side and muttered “ I should

have made sure I got all of the pills down, it sucks someone made sure the ambulance saved me

anyways.” Flustered by answer I began hearing the sniffles coming from my adopted Mothers

nose and the wearyness coming from her body language as she began to open her mouth to

speak, “ Monet you think it’s a curse that God gave you another chance to still be here, your

Mother spoke to God and ask him to save your life and keep you’re here because you know

why... your story is far from over”.. My story was far from over, the moment she finished those
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words the room of my hospital bed began to glow with a emberry undertone of brown in the cold

November fall, the room began to feel warm as my chest felt tighter as if people were hugging

me even though there were nobody present as my adopted Mother had already left for the day

after sharing her speech for visiting hours were closing for the evening. That very moment I

knew God had never hated me or disliked me for taking my Mother away, life had to happen for

things I will never know but I will know this one thing is for sure every day I wake or feel like

things are not going like they should and my temptation to go back to my old addiction comes

back into play I just remember my belief that God knows my story is not over and that I do not

need to worry anymore.