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Miranda Schmidt
March 6, 2023
Literacy Narrative Essay

Back to Boston

As I stepped off the Fairfield athletics van my heart raced. It was a cool October day and

our red van stuck out compared to all the other cars. As the wind blew I had goosebumps, but I

didn't know if they were from the wind or my nerves. We had gotten up early and drove all the

way to Boston, Massachusetts from Fairfield University. The van ride was long but it was filled

with nerves, laughs and words of motivation from my teammates and I. Massachusetts is special

to me because it is my home state. I was competing at my first Head of the Charles Regatta, the

largest 3-day regatta in the world. People came from all over the world to race in this regatta, it

was an honor to even be in the event. I had seen the race before, but this time I got to be a part of

it. All the pressure was on me as I was in the boat representing Fairfield and I was the only

freshman rower. Since the race was in my home state, my friends and family had come to

support me, and it was the first time any of them had ever seen me race. I was anxious to see

them, but I knew I wouldn't be able to greet them until after I finished.

The nerves I felt that day were like nothing I had ever felt before. I saw the river, it was

filled with boats and a big HOCR poster was hanging on the iconic bridge. I had seen many

pictures of this scene before, but it was crazy to me that I was actually about to be part of it. As I

looked around, other teams were scrambling trying to rig their boats as fast as they could. The

coxswains were yelling race plans left and right. There was music from the various tents playing

in the background. As I walked closer to the river I could hear the announcer reading off team

names. My brain could not focus with everything that was going on around me. Everywhere I
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looked there was something to see. I was out of my comfort zone, this race was only my third

race ever in an eight shell.

I had come from rowing in ocean boats in highschool and had no experience in an eight

shell. Most girls who got recruited rowed in eight shells and had experience from the fancy

rowing clubs they went to. They had experience competing in real races with many highly

competitive teams. I rowed ocean boats at a small maritime institution that never raced. We went

out on the water for fun, which developed my love for rowing. I may not have had the experience

but I had fast erg scores. Throughout high school I competed in many erg competitions which

fueled my competitive side. Getting picked to be in the 1V8 for the Head of Charles was a shock

to everyone including myself.

My first semester of college was already hard for me. Between getting acclimated to

college, making friends, missing home, and balancing school and athletics, I had a lot going on.

The news of me making the boat made some of the girls on my team frustrated. Girls were

coming up to me asking “how were you picked” and “are you really ready for a race like this.” In

addition, girls were saying I didn't deserve to go based on how little experience I had. These

words hurt, and at the time I didn’t have anyone to rely on who was on the team. This was when

I met and became close with my teammate Emma. She was a sophomore that I had talked to

when getting recruited. She became one of my best friends on the team, and she told me to not

let the words get to me and that I deserved everything because I was working super hard.

When it came to race day, I was not only nervous for the race but I was scared that all the

words people were saying were right. While other girls knew what they were doing I was

soaking in the new atmosphere. I thought to myself “do I really deserve to be here.” I was

representing Fairfield at the biggest race in the fall and I was still learning how to rig a boat. I
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wanted to prove to everyone that it was not a mistake putting me in the boat. However, I kept

thinking to myself “what if I mess up.” I managed to think of everything that could go wrong

between crabbing, missing a stroke or even being off time. My mom texted me and said “Go

prove everyone wrong.” I didn’t want to prove everyone wrong but I wanted to prove to myself

most importantly that I could do it.

The next thing I knew, my coach walked up to us and gathered all nine of us together. I

knew he was about to give us some last words before it was time. In his British accent he said

“it's time to go girls, do what we have been practicing to do.” My coach then pulled me aside

separately and said “remember your technique and you will be fine.” My coach seemed to

believe in me and that was all that mattered. I went up to my teammate Emma; she saw an

expression of fear on my face, and was not able to hide it. She held my shoulders and said “you

deserved to be there as much as anyone, you don't need to know all these fancy rowing terms, all

you need to do is row.” As I tried to respond with “what if,” she cut me off and said “no what

ifs, you're going to kill it.” I just wanted to get in the boat and get the race over with.

It was finally time, as I stepped into the boat my palms filled with sweat, my body hurt

and my head was filled with doubts. The boat's oars were smooth under my sweaty hands. I

could smell the river water with a mix of hot dogs from the vendors on land. I thought to myself

“I can either give up or give it all I got.” We began to paddle away from the dock. I was sitting in

bow seat, the last one in the boat right behind the senior captain. As I was fixing my shoes the

senior captain turned around and said “you got this Miranda.” Hearing those words calmed me

but I knew as soon as I heard the horn to start that calmness would turn into a storm. The

coxswain started yelling, bow “tap it, tap it.” I was bow, but I didn't know what “tap it” meant
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because I was still learning all the terms. The next thing I knew we hit another boat. The race had

not even begun and I was already messing up.

We paddled our bow to the start line. As we passed all our competitors I was finally

understanding what a big deal this was. The Charles river was filled with colleges from all over

the United States. I realized just at that moment how lucky I was to be able to compete next to

such well known colleges and high level athletes. These high pressure experiences will only help

me be able to handle any situation in the future. I heard the horn, and I had no time to think. My

body was moving, my heart was going and I saw us moving the water as fast as we could. The

seat was sliding under me as I pushed off the footstretcher as hard as I could. I wonder how I

didn't pass out from exhaustion, but too much was going on to think about how tired I was.

Looking back on the race, I realized that I was so focused I couldn't even hear what my coxswain

was saying to me or hear the crowd cheering. I have always been good at getting in the zone and

blocking out all distractions. As I attempted to look around I had to remember to focus on only

the things that I could control. I was worried I was going to crabb, my hands were moving faster

than I thought was possible, featuring the oar. I could feel the river watcher splashing back from

our oars on me and could taste it as it got into my mouth.

Next thing our boat knew we heard our coxswain yell “500 meters left.” We ramped up

the stroke rate and went as hard as we could till we crossed that finish line. I heard the announcer

say “Fairfield University.” I knew it was finally over, I didn't know what place we had gotten but

it didn't matter, I was proud of not only myself but my team. My heart filled with joy, when I

realized I didn’t mess up and had proved to myself and my teammates that I could do it. Most

importantly, I realized I can do anything I work hard enough for.

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The sun was shining, and as I stepped out of the boat, all my worries went away. My

coach came over to us and said “Nice job girls, I am so proud of you.” Me and all my teammates

were celebrating, it didn't matter that we didn't win, we finished. We had completed the hardest

race of our fall season. Emma came up to me and said “see Miranda you did it.” I tried to

respond but I was out of breath. As I took a sip of a Capri Sun, my dry mouth filled with the

sweet taste of berries. Finally, I had time to go see my parents. I hadn't seen them since moving

in day, so I ran over to them and hugged them. My mom and dad said at the same time “I am so

proud of you.” I was so happy that I was able to see them again and how proud they were of me.

I believe that it is human nature to strive to always be improving. My coach always says

to my team “you should feel uncomfortable.” This stays with me because in order to improve

you must be out of your comfort zone. The Head of the Charles put me out of my comfort zone,

which overall helped improve me as an athlete. As rowers, me and my teammates are always

advancing by getting faster. Athletes have to train in order to advance, we practice many hours

just to see our hard work pay off on the race course. I learned that if you work hard, it doesn't

matter if you win or lose, all that matters is that you are happy with yourself and the work you

put in.