Northgate High School- Senior Project Mentor/Expert Critique Dear Mentor/Expert, Thank you for agreeing to critique this paper for __Injun Choi___. With this form, the student should provide the most recent draft of his/her Senior Project paper. Please read the paper for content, keeping in mind it will be revised. The English teacher will critique the paper for requirements, appropriate style, and mechanics. You are to read to ensure that the facts and research are accurate and sufficient. Please make comments on the margins of the draft, answer the questions on this sheet, and feel free to add any additional comments on the back. This paper is a requirement for the student's graduation, so your help is appreciated. 1. Is there any misinformation or has the writer made any factual errors? yes no_X__ Comments: 2. Can you suggest sources for additional research for this topic, such as materials to read or watch and persons to interview? No. By reading this report, | get the feeling that Mr. Choy has done sufficient research himself 3. What information can you give to help the student improve the content of the paper (including your own knowledge of the topic)? Not on the content, but | suggest Injun re-read his paper from a different angle and try to improve presenting it so that itis easier to follow and understand the thought behind the statements. | suggest: 1, Read the paper with the mind that you do not know anything about the subject. This will help to write simpler to convey your points. 2. Try to use headings to separate different ideas or outcomes of your research. This will improve from jumping from one subject to another and reduce tiredness of reading @ long paper. Also, it makes it much easier to come back to the paper to relative headings rather than looking at every page to find where the reader has left the paper. 4, Ihave read this paper and discussed my comments with the student. yes _X_ noMentor’s name and qualifications: __Mohammad Zabolzadeh. z Mentor’s signature: Phone number: __925-206-0763. Mentor's Email Address: —mzoorikh@yahoo.com, Additional comments: