Leroy’s Diner

Act 1

Narrator
You know, it can be kinda hard to be a newcomer to this city. There are so many things to get used to
when you arrive, like the one way streets. I mean, I’ve been here a while now and I still see people drive
the wrong way on West Street that I am pretty sure are from here, but that’s another thing. And then,
you have to talk about what it is like to ask for directions! (moves to talk to the person standing behind)
Excuse me, can you tell me where to find...

Diana
Oh! Sure, that’s no problem! It’s in the old Canadian Tire building.

Narrator
Okay... and where might that be?

Diana
Well, you go over on the road between the two malls and then go down Broadway toward what used to
be Nightsounds and it’s right in behind there. (exits off toward the kitchen)

Narrator
Okay. Thanks. (walks back to speak to the audience) I know nothing more now than I did when I started.
You know, it took me three years to actually find the place I was looking for with directions from a local.
That’s not to say that the locals aren’t lovely people, I mean, they seem to like coming out to my diner.
(looks out and takes a slight pause)
Oh, sorry. We were just rehearsing the final scene from the skit that we are presenting after dinner this
evening. I didn’t realize you had all been seated already. I couldn’t see you with the house lights so low.
Diana! The lights!

Diana
On it!

Narrator
Good evening and welcome to Leroy’s diner! I am not Leroy, but I am the owner and I am very excited to
have all of you here tonight. After moving to this city a few years ago with a dream of owning a place like
this, I am so pleased to see all of you out for the grand reopening and a celebration of come home year
in Corner Brook. And as usual, we have a great evening of entertainment planned for you with an
appearance by one of the best local bands, a skit about the history of the city and not to mention a great
meal happening tonight as we celebrate come home year in the city.

Nick
(runs up to narrator and whispers in ear) *shrugs shoulders*
Narrator
What do you mean they aren’t coming?

Nick
(whispers again)

Narrator
(shouts) Stuck in North Sydney! (turns away from audience as though keeping them out of the
conversation) But that’s why I wanted a local band. You shouldn’t have to worry about the band missing
the boat when they are local!

Nick
I play the guitar a little bit and I could put in a call to a few friends. I think we might be able to pull a
band together on short notice.

Diana
You can play guitar? (Moves over to him and clings on his arm)

Narrator
(shooting Diana a look) Yeah, but are you going to be any good? These folks paid good money to be here
tonight and now you are suggesting a give them a makeshift bit of entertainment? Please tell me there is
nothing wrong in the kitchen.

Diana
No idea. You just hired me to set the stage.

Nick
I really couldn’t tell you. That’s a question for Daniel, but I think he left after he put the salads out. You
put him in charge of the meal. (goes back and picks up, starts to tune a guitar)

Narrator
Well, maybe we can start serving the meal early while we figure things out with the entertainment.
(shouting toward the kitchen) Daniel, are you back there?

Daniel
(from backstage) I’m here.

Narrator
Could you be out here so we don’t have to shout over the fine folks that are trying to enjoy their salads?

Daniel
(wearing a dirty apron and still wiping his hands on his pants.) Hey Leroy. I’m just a little busy getting
things ready for the main course.

Narrator
My name isn’t Leroy.

Daniel
Sorry, sorry. We got started a little later than we thought, but it’s going to be just fine as long as the
band plays a full set first. Where are they anyway? Shouldn’t they have started by now?

Narrator
Don’t worry about that, just get back in the kitchen and get the food ready. (to the audience) Now, I
know you were promised a band tonight, but there has been a little bit of a snag. It seems the local
band I hired had to come in from out of the province and didn’t make the boat. But not to worry, folks. I
promise there will still be lots of great entertainment here tonight.

Nick
I got a few friends on the way, but maybe we could sing a little something, get people pumped up while
we wait?

Diana
I’ll do it. (she is ignored)

Narrator
You want me to sing? In front of all these people?

Nick
Don’t worry, you’ll be great! Besides, people seem to be getting restless and we can’t have that.

Narrator
(moving to a mic) But I didn’t even have a chance to warm up!

Diana
I’m all warmed up and ready to go! I was singing all the way over in the car. (she waits until the song
starts before grabbing a mic and singing backup with Narrator)

Narrator
Wait, wait. We will need at least a little bit of a rhythm section. Is anyone in the audience even a little bit
musical? (wait to see if there are volunteers) Daniel! Can you bring a few spoons out of the kitchen? Let’s
get these folks set up to play.

Daniel
You want me to hand out spoons for people to play with? I don’t know if there are enough, I had to
scrounge to get enough together for the tables.

Narrator
I’m sure you can figure it out. And hurry, we need to get this show on the road.

Daniel ducks into the kitchen and comes out again with a few sets of spoons, handing them out audience
members.

Narrator Song
(Nick flashes an applause sign at the end)

Daniel collects the spoons from the audience members as the scene continues.

Nick
See! I told you it would be great. And, our piano player has finally arrived so we can start to put together
a set for the rest of the night. Hey Billy!

Narrator
Thanks for coming to the rescue. Now if we just had a drummer we would be all set. And Diana, dear,
would you leave that poor boy alone already?

Diana
But he plays the guitar!

Narrator
I don’t care if he is the next Eric Clapton! I need you to check the sound levels and get me a little more
light in here! Our guests can barely see to find the butter for their buns!

Diana
Sure thing. I’ll get right on it. See you soon, Nick! (she winks and flashes him a smile before exiting.)

Narrator
At least I know you folks will be well entertained after dinner. I wrote a short skit for you all to talk a
little about the history of our fine city, with it being come home year and all. (puts on his apron) I mean I
spent so much time Googling to get some amazing facts about this place. Like, did you know that the city
of Corner Brook used to be five separate communities?

Diana
Four.

Narrator
It was four separate communities that came together in 1958.

Diana
1956

Narrator
1956 to create the city of Corner Brook. There was Curling, Humbermouth, Townsite and Humber East.

Diana
Humber West.

Narrator
Right, right, west.

Billy
That sure is neat Leroy.

Narrator
My name isn’t Leroy.

Billy
But the diner...

Narrator
I bought it that way and it’s quite expensive to get a new sign.

Billy
And the nametag?

Narrator
Never mind that. Just get back there and get ready. I got a taste for singing after all that applause the
last time and these people need to be entertained or they aren’t going to want to pay for their tickets
and the diner will close before I even had a chance.

Diana
(poking her head out from around the sound board) You want me to join you? I really am a pretty good
singer.

Narrator
Maybe later. You just make sure it all sounds good for now.

Billy
Alrighty then. Let me just turn on the keys. (gets situated behind the keyboard) Hey Nick! We’re going to
play a song.

Nick
(from backstage) Okay, okay. I’m coming! (walks out wearing his guitar and plugs it in.) Let’s do it.

Narrator and Billy Song – The Longest Time

(nick flashes an applause sign at the end)

Narrator
Thanks you guys. You’re starting to give me a swelled head. Maybe I should just give up this diner
business and start a band!

Nick
I don’t know if I would go that far. Besides, this place is great and I wanna keep my job.

Narrator
No, no. The diner has always been my dream. Owning my own business and creating jobs for people like
you. But if things keep going wrong...

Daniel
Not Leroy... I think I might have forgotten something really important when you asked me to take care
of the kitchen for the show...

Narrator
Please don’t tell me you didn’t order enough food or something.

Daniel
No, no, nothing like that. Maybe you could just come in the kitchen so we can talk about it?

Narrator leaves with Daniel as a rough and tumble looking guy enters the hall, already half drunk,
carrying drum sticks, pushing between tables and asking for Nick while making his way toward the stage.
He should make as big a kerfuffle as possible without truly disturbing the guests.

Tommy
Nick, b’ye. You calls me up last minute to do some diner gig and then goes and starts without me. I
heard that last tune from down the street and I knows now why youse needed me so bad. The timing
was all over the map. (sits behind the drum kit)

Nick
Leroy! We got a drummer.
Narrator
(poking their head out from the kitchen) My name is not Leroy! (to the audience) Although at this point
it might be easier just to change it. (to Nick) That’s great! I’ll be right out. You think you guys could play a
tune in the meantime?

Nick
No problem. What do you think guys?

Billy/Tommy
Sure thing. Let’s do this. Etc.

Diana
Is it my turn yet? I have a great idea and I know these folks are going to love it!

Nick
Maybe later. We need to get one under our belts first.
Diana
(pouting) Fine.

Tommy
1-2-3-4

Nick and Tommy Song – Home Sweet Home

Narrator
Well, that was much better than I expected! Guess I didn’t need a fancy band for this after all. Well, I
suppose that is one crisis averted, on to the second problem. Seems Daniel didn’t hire any servers. I got
a couple of folks, but it isn’t going to be enough, so I’m going to need you guys to pitch in there too.
(starts handing out aprons.) Don’t worry, I’ll be right beside you.

Billy
But, Leroy...

Narrator
My NAME IS NOT LEROY!

Billy
But, not Leroy, I don’t know anything about serving food.

Narrator
Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Just don’t get your thumb in anybody’s food and it will be great.
A door opens, flooding the dining room with light as two girls enter and rush to the side of the stage.

Narrator
Wonderful! You must be the servers. (To Nick) Why don’t you guys entertain these folks with another
song while I fill them in.

Nick
Another song? This is going to be rough if things don’t start going right. We only know a half dozen of
the same songs.

Narrator
You’ll figure it out. No choice. And try and make it a long one this time?

Nick
Okay. (gets in a huddle with Billy and Tommy by the drums.) Great! Here we go.

Nick Song – Journey

Billy
Whew! We really needed Steve for that one!

Narrator and two girls emerge wearing their aprons and join the band on stage.

Narrator
See! I told you it would be fine.

Tommy
For now, but we are going to need a couple of extra singers if we are going to keep this up all night. At
least dinner is almost ready right?

Narrator
Daniel?

Daniel
(Poking his head out from the kitchen) Yea?

Narrator
We almost ready to serve? I think these folks are getting hungry.

Daniel
Won’t be long now. I’m going to need a few more minutes, though.
Narrator
A few more minutes. Right.

Diana
I would love to sing! Come on guys, just give me a chance.

Ronnie
We might be able to help, right Martha?

Martha
Maybe. We used to be in these singing groups...

Narrator
Sure, sure. You guys can sing, if the band knows how to play it.

Martha
Well, how about Be My Baby?

Tommy
I can follow anything youse want to play.

Billy
Yeah! I know that one!

Nick
Believe it or not, me too!

Diana
Guys, please! Can I sing it with you?

The band gets set up and the girls take places at either side of the stage with Ronnie in the middle at a
microphone, swaying like a 60s doo-wop group.

Song – Ronettes Be My Baby

Narrator
That was fantastic!

Daniel
Hey guys! You can stop the panic, dinner is ready!

Narrator
Grab those aprons and let’s get these folk some food.

Dinner service

Act 2

Diana
(watches as the band gets into place before running toward the stage) This is my big chance! (she fluffs
her hair and adjusts the mic for a minute) Okay fellas, hit it.

Diana Song – You Can’t Hurry Love

Narrator
(coming in from the kitchen) Did I hear music? I could have sworn I did. Well, despite a couple of snags, I
think that went pretty well. Hope everyone is enjoying their meal. Now, I know you were promised a
historical skit after dinner but the plans have changed just a little.

Nick
Um... boss. I forgot to tell you about something. (goes to whisper in Narrators ear)

Narrator
Would you quit it with the whispering! Whatever it is, just tell me. Things can’t get much worse.

Nick
Well, it’s just that, the package that you thought would be here today, well, it never arrived.

Narrator
What are you talking about? It clearly said that it would be delivered by today. It’s not like there was a
weather delay or something. Can you go backstage and find my phone? I’ll just check to see what is
going on. Why don’t the rest of you play these folks a song while we figure it out.

Song (Billy, Tommy, Martha, Ronnie, Daniel) -

Narrator
That was lovely. Don’t you think so folks? Well, I’m sure you have been wondering what all the kerfuffle
was about a few minutes ago. I ordered some costumes for the skit a few weeks ago, but it seems we
have yet another snag in our grand reopening evening. The package has disappeared into the abyss that
is the Moncton check in location.

Nick
Why don’t we just use our imaginations?
Narrator
Well, we aren’t going to have a lot of other options. I’m starting to think we should just skip the skit
altogether. It was all bad enough before. You see folks, the band that was supposed to perform tonight
was going to present this, but as they are stuck in North Sydney, probably with my costumes, we are
going to try to pull it off with the rag tag group we got together this evening. I guess what I’m saying is
that few minutes while they were serving you was not enough time to learn the lines, so they are going
to have papers in front of them.

Daniel
I got the dishes done, can I be in the skit too?

Narrator
(sighs) I suppose. You can take my part. (hands script over) It will give me a chance to figure out what I
want to sing next.

Diana
And me?

Narrator
Not you. I need you to figure out something for this costume fiasco. If these folks don’t enjoy
themselves tonight, I’m going to have to close the diner and my dream is dead.

Diana
Really? Costumes. I’m on it. (runs off backstage and reappears a number of times during the rest of the
scene and song carrying various items like a stack of paper, a basket of napkins etc.)

Nick
(appearing from backstage) Wait, are we going right into the skit now, or did you want us to play
something first?

Narrator
Well, we have to give Diana a chance to figure something out so I guess we should have another song
first. Maybe something on theme for the skit?

Tommy
B’ys I don’t know any songs about Corner Brook. How are wes supposed to do that?

Narrator
Well, there are lots of interesting things to know about Corner Brook that might help you. Like back
when Bowaters built the mill...

Billy
Bowaters didn’t build the mill...

Narrator
Of course they did!

Daniel
No, it was the Newfoundland Power and Paper Company. And then two years after they first produced
paper, it was incorporated as the International Paper Company of Newfoundland.

Billy
Bowaters didn’t take over until a decade later.

Narrator
Whatever, its besides the point.

Tommy
Well, whats we gonna play?

Billy
I guess we could just do a song that is based in history in some way.

Nick
Well, this place wasn’t always called Corner Brook, so They Might Be Giants?

Tommy
Geez, I don’t know that song...

Billy
That’s the name of the band, ya fool.

Tommy
Oh... I knew that.

Nick
Right. Let’s do it then.

Nick and Billy Song – Istanbul

Diana
(entering with an arm full of paper hats and cardboard swords) I got it! I got it! This should work, just to
give people an idea.
Narrator
Oh god. I spent hundreds of dollars for era costumes and what do I wind up with? Paper hats and what?
Are those supposed to be swords? Good lord. It’s okay. At least after the skit we can serve dessert and
get everyone out of here.

Daniel
Dessert? Did you say dessert?

Narrator
I did say dessert. We offered these folks a three course meal and top quality entertainment. I’m not sure
we provided the latter, but we are sure going to provide the food. Why???

Daniel
Well, you said three courses, but I thought it was the bread course, the salad course and the main
course. I didn’t realize you meant for there to be dessert.

Narrator
Why would you think that bread was a course?? When has a roll ever been a course?

Daniel
Ahhh... I told you I wasn’t cut out for this job!

Nick
It’s okay, it’s okay. We can fix this.

Billy
There’s a bakery just down the road. Why don’t you run down there and see if they have enough on
hand to give these people the third course they were promised.

Tommy
That’s a great idea! Support local and all.

Narrator
This place is local! We were supposed to provide the service, locally ourselves.

Daniel
But the chef has already gone home and it would take too long to make something anyway.

Ronnie
Imagine, a chef that didn’t know a three course meal meant there was going to be dessert.
Martha
I mean, you have to know that to even get out of chef school, don’t you?

Tommy
I could go get something. My truck is right outside.

Narrator
That’s no good, you could walk there faster than you can drive. It’s on the other end of this one way
street. Besides, we have to keep these folks entertained and if one of us has to leave, there won’t be
enough to perform the skit so we are going need to you play another song.

Daniel
I guess that means I’m going. It shouldn’t take very long.

Diana
There have got to be 50 (insert number based on the night) people here. There is no way you can carry
all those desserts alone.

Narrator
Then why don’t you go with him?

Diana
But I want to stay and sing. You promised I could sing at some point tonight. If I leave I won’t get to until
after dessert and no one pays attention once they have had dessert. They just get sleepy.

Narrator
We’ll fix that by serving them tea and coffee. Ronnie and Martha, could you head into the kitchen and
start getting it ready? Diana, you and Daniel head down to the bakery. Hustle, hustle, no time to waste.

Nick
So, what would you like us to do in the meantime?

Narrator
What do you think you should be doing? You’re the band! Entertain these folks! And I finally decided on
another song to sing.

Nick
We are going to need just a minute to figure out how this one goes. (pulls out his phone and starts to
listen to something before passing it around to the others so they can do the same.) Okay, I think we got
it.

Narrator Song – something about everything working out in the end

Tommy
Dat wasn’t too shabby b’ys. Good ting we didn’t know dat one before.

Billy
I sure hope those guys get back soon. It’s getting really tough to keep this up.

Ronnie and Martha return from the kitchen, Ronnie is now sporting a large gauze bandage on her hand.

Narrator
What happened to you? You only had to make coffee.

Ronnie
I reached for the coffee filters just as Martha was pouring the hot water to make the tea.

Martha
I said I was sorry! I didn’t even know you were anywhere near me, never mind reaching over me.

Ronnie
Are you blind? Do you not have any feeling in your shoulders? I put my other hand right on you when I
reached and you still poured!

Narrator
Are you still going to be okay to be in the skit and serve the dessert?

Ronnie
I’ll be fine. And Daniel and Diana just got back with something to serve.

Daniel and Diana enter from the kitchen, each carrying a plate of cookies and taking them table to table.

Narrator
Hey! What are you guys doing? We are supposed to serve the dessert after the skit!

Daniel
Well, when we got back from the bakery and I went to put the cookies in the fridge, I found out that the
chef did know there was going to be dessert and had left the pies and the cheesecakes chilling.

Narrator
(getting increasingly agitated) You didn’t think to look in the fridge??? Would you just put those cookies
down and get up here?

Daniel
That’s hardly fair. Now some people got a cookie and some people didn’t! Can’t you play another song
while we hand them out to the rest or something?

Nick
Guys, we are really running out of material here.

Narrator
Well, we can’t move on to the skit without everyone so we have to do something.

Billy
Nick’s right. We are getting pretty low on songs we all know.

Tommy
Youse could play something that we played earlier again?

Narrator
That is not an option! I’m going to start plating the desserts. You guys figure it out.

Nick, Tommy and Billy huddle together on stage trying to devise a plan.

Nick
Okay. We can make that work.

Nick Song –

Narrator
Way to go guys. Dessert is all ready to go, so maybe we should wait and do the skit after we get it out to
these folks.

Everyone just remains where they are.

Narrator
What are you guys waiting for? Grab your aprons, get to work.

Dessert Service
 Act 3

Diana
(wanders out on to the stage to find the band in place but no sign of anyone else) Well, they must still be
doing the dishes. Daniel kicked me out of the kitchen after I broke the third glass. You folks doing okay
out there? Everyone enjoying your desserts?

Martha and Ronnie enter chatting and laughing.

Diana
Well, at least you girls are here. How about we show the people what us girls can do?

Martha
I though you would never ask. Let’s show those boys that we could out perform them any day.

Ronnie
Either of you have a song in mind?

Martha
I know! (turns and whispers something to Nick) I’ll take the lead on this one ladies.

Song – Dancing in the Street

Narrator
(wanders out from the kitchen) Once again, I swear I heard music out here. Everyone got their tea and
coffee? I can’t believe we actually made it through dessert! At least nothing else can go wrong. Now,
where is everyone? We need to get the skit started. (runs offstage)

Nick
I don’t know why I ever agreed to take this job. I was just supposed to show up and make sure the band
had everything they needed. Now, here I am, playing in the band, making up all these songs on the spot,
not to mention serving meals! I’m sure I’ll find gravy in my ears later.

Tommy
You tink you got it bad? After banging the drums all night and spending all that time scooping potato
earlier, me arms are just about ready to fall off back here.

Billy
I can tell you one thing, when we get out of here both of you owe me a beer.

Nick
Sure, you could get a beer down there.
Tommy
What? Why didn’t anyone tell me there was a bar here? I thought it was just a diner. (runs offstage)

Billy
(shouting after him) Bring me one too!

Nick
Okay guys, but just the one. We have to do some “skit” now in a bit and god only knows what they are
going to try to ask us to play next.

Daniel
Okay, I’m ready for the skit. I was trying to learn my lines while I was doing the dishes and I think I got it!

Diana
Since I’m the only one not in the skit, I’ll have a script and you could always ask for a line if you really
think you learned them. I mean, that would make you as good as the soap people. Don’t they have to
learn a whole script every day?

Daniel
That sounds great!

Narrator
I still can’t find Martha and Ronnie. Maybe we could play another song until they get back?

Nick
Well, Tommy has just stepped out for a minute so we will have to do it without a drummer...

Narrator
Well, we started this night without a drummer, I’m sure we can pull off one more song without him.
Probably best to go with some sort of ballad.

Billy
I think I might know just the thing.

Narrator
Where are those lovely folks that played with us earlier tonight? I don’t suppose you would mind giving
us a hand again? Daniel! Can you bring out those spoons again?

Daniel
Sorry but I don’t have them. They seem to have disappeared during dessert.
Nick
It’s okay, I got this. (pulls out a triangle and a tambourine and hands them to the crowd.)

Billy Song – some ballad

Narrator
Great, great. It’s getting so late. I promised these people a skit, but now that their dessert is almost gone
they probably aren’t going to stick around much longer. If we don’t get it started now, it’s not going to
happen.

Tommy
(reappearing from the bar with a couple of bottles in his hand and now slurring) B’ys, they got some
deals on the go at the bar. Hiccup. I know you said I should just have the one, but buddy, they was so
cheap I had to have a few.

Narrator
Oh god. Of course you did. Just when I thought we were finally going to get things back on track and give
the people what they were promised.

Billy
Can someone get him a cup of coffee or something? We can’t end this night without a drummer and he
will be passed out at the kit in no time.

Tommy
I will not. I might even play better now.

Nick
You want to test that theory?

Narrator
Yes, yes. You test that theory while I find the girls. Maybe we can still salvage the skit without him.

Tommy
I ain’t gonna sing though.

Diana
(popping her head out from around the tech board) I could do it! Please, let me do it!

Nick
I think I have a tune we could do.

Diana
Ah, come on. You guys have been putting me off all night.

The band members huddle, football style and discuss, glancing back at Diana.

Billy
Well, we talked it over and...

Diana
And...

Billy
And, we are gonna let you sing.

Diana
Really? Like, not just backup? You are going to let me have my own song?

Nick
Just get up here before we change our minds.

Diana
You got it. Okay boys, hit it.

Tommy
I know I’ve been drinking, but did you tell us what song you want us to play?

Billy
You aren’t that drunk. She didn’t say.

Tommy
Oh, phew. After I realized there were only four drums, not eight I figured I had better check.

Nick
So, what’s it going to be?

Diana
Baby Love?

Tommy
1-2-3-4

Song – Baby Love

Nick
That was actually pretty good.

Diana
Why, thank you. I’ll take it. (mutters under her breath) Even if it was a backhanded compliment.

Narrator, Ronnie, Martha and Daniel enter wearing the paper hats and carrying the cardboard swords.

Narrator
Okay folks, let’s get this show on the road. (to the audience) Well, folks as I mentioned you are going to
have to use quite a bit of imagination on this one. We are going to do our best to present a little bit of
the history of this fine city to you, despite my missing costumes and the fact that no one knows any of
the lines.

Martha
Umm, Leroy...

Narrator
For the final time, my name is not Leroy!

Martha
Well, you should think about changing the sign! It’s very confusing.

Narrator
(Shooting her a look) I’ll take that under advisement. What did you want?

Martha
Well, I was just looking through your skit and you said this is supposed to be about Corner Brook?

Narrator
That’s right. It’s about the pirate, Peter Easton and how he came to the area and built a big fort and
plundered from here to the Grand Bank and all points in between back in the 16 th century.

Martha
It’s just, I think you might be a little confused. Peter Easton did that in the province alright, but it was out
in Harbour Grace. Maybe you were trying to write about Captain James Cook and got the names
confused?

Narrator
No, I know exactly what I’m talking about. You must be the one who is confused.

Ronnie
Yeah, no you definitely are the one who got it wrong. Haven’t you ever been to any of the sights here in
town? Captain Cook’s Lookout, for one? And you only have to take a walk around three bear mountain
to learn all kinds of things about the mill.

Narrator
Oh. Well, they were both pirates, so it still works though. Just change the name in your script.

Ronnie
Nope, Cook wasn’t a pirate. I was wondering why we needed strange hats and swords. Cook made the
first detailed maps of the coastline around the island, especially the west and southwest coasts.

Narrator
So, not a pirate.

Ronnie
Nope, not a pirate.

Narrator
Damn. Well, what are we going to do now? I promised a historical skit about the area, we can’t present
something about Harbour Grace. They didn’t come to Corner Brook to learn about a place 600km away!

Nick
I’d say we should play another song, but I was right as usual and Tommy is passed out of the snare.

Narrator
Well, can you wake him? Daniel? Where are you with that coffee?

Nick starts poking at Tommy, trying to rouse him.

Daniel
(poking his head out of the kitchen) Coffee? Didn’t we already do that part?

Narrator
Not for the guests, for the drummer.

Daniel
Well, I threw it all out. I thought the event was over.

Narrator
Can you make some more?

Daniel
I guess. It will take a couple of minutes.

Narrator
Fine, fine. Nick? Any luck?

Nick
He’s coming around. Are you going to sing this one?

Narrator
Sure.

Narrator Song –

Diana
So, I took at look at what you have here in the script and there really is no way to salvage this. I guess
there isn’t going to be a skit tonight after all. I mean, there’s a bit in there at the end about the mill
starting up back in 1919.

Billy
Umm... that’s not right either.

Tommy
(still slurring and seemingly half asleep) Buddy, you are the worst researcher. Even I knows the mill
wouldn’t built here until 1923. Dat bit is about Grand Falls. (to the audience) You knows that too, don’t
ya?

Billy
(shocked) He’s right. They were going to build it in Deer Lake on account of the power but there was a
technological breakthrough that let them bring the power from the plant to Corner Brook which allowed
them to be right on the port.

Narrator
Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted Google to help me with the details. I guess next time I’ll have to go to
the museum and archives to make sure I get it right. But if all the details are wrong, I suppose Diana is
right, there is nothing to salvage from the skit.

Diana
I don’t think these folks want to learn about Grand Falls-Windsor either, so it looks like the answer is no.

Daniel
You mean I learned those lines for nothing?
Narrator
Well, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to apologize for tonight. It turns out the only thing I promised
that I was able to provide was the three course meal.

Daniel
That’s not true! It might not be the band that was on the ticket, but you gave them a live band as
entertainment.

Nick
That’s true! I think we were pretty good too!

Diana
And, I’m sure they have been hearing us talking about all the things that have gone wrong here tonight.
So, you might not have given them a historical skit about the area, but I think we gave them one heck of
a show.

Narrator
I suppose you guys are right. Well, let’s try to salvage the end of the night with one more song?

Nick
Sure thing, let me just wake Tommy up again.

Tommy
What is it this time? Can’t you just let me sleep it off already?

Nick
Sure, you just have to play one more tune.

Tommy
Promise?

Billy
Promise.

Narrator
Well, I would like to thank all of you folks for coming out tonight to the Grand reopening of my diner. I
know it hasn’t been quite what you were expecting to get, but I hope you enjoyed your evening all the
same. Please remember that you can present your prepaid tickets at the door, or pay by cash or card on
your way out. We ask that if you wish to provide a cash gratuity to the staff that you place it in the bread
basket on your table. But before we call it a night, here’s one more song to send you on your way.

Tommy
1-3-2-4

Group song –

Daniel
Umm... Not Leroy, just one more thing before we end the night?

Narrator
What’s that?

Daniel
What is your name anyway?

Narrator

-40-