Gus and Ralph

52.

PHIL EXPERTS
I AM STUCK. OK,
I DON'T EVEN
ONE I'M STILL SLEEPING AND THIS I'M JUST KNOW IF I BELIEVE WHAT I'M
DREAMING IT SAYING, THIS GUY IS CLEARLY
TWO, IT'S A PRANK AND EVERYONE'S IN ON NUTS, BUT HE IS DESPERATE
IT AND HE'S PAYING
STATISTICALLY, HE
THREE, IT'S A FLASHBACK FROM WHEN I WAS MIGHT AS WELL BE
TWENTY SITTING HOME AND
AND PRAYING FOR ALL THE
ATE MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND THOUGHT I WAS GOOD THAT I CAN DO, 
AQUAMAN I DON'T
HAVE A FRICKIN CLUE
WHAT I'M DOING
FOUR IT'S SOME KIND OF REALITY SHOW THOUGH THERE ARE THINGS THAT
WE JUST DON'T KNOW
IT DOESN'T
FIVE IT'S AMNESIA, MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE GIVING
SIX IT'S A STROKE AN ANSWER A GO
YOU JUST HAVE TO OPEN YOUR
I THINK I AM LOSING MY MIND! MIND 

THAT'LL BE 500 BUCKS,

PHIL
What the f--?!
PRIEST
A CHEQUE IS FINE.

PHIL
Fine.

EXPERTS
KARMA! TOXINS! ENEMA! OXEN! JESUS! XENU!

(Lights up on Dive Bar. )

GUS AND RALPH

Alcohol!

(Gus, Ralph, and Phil sit on

barstools. Plunky Country Blues
plays in b.g.)

GUS
Six more weeks of winter.
RALPH
Yep.
(Beat)
 53.

RALPH
That's a long time.

(The men drink and ponder.)

GUS
Now, did you actually SEE the groundhog see his shadow?
RALPH
Well, his eyes were open.

GUS
Yeah. But you know how you can look at something but your
mind is somewhere else?

RALPH
So, you think he was daydreaming?
GUS
Or you know, kind of planning out his schedule.

(The men drink and ponder.)

GUS
Did you know that in Punxsutawney they got only one word for
"snow"?

(beat)

RALPH
What is it?

(Phil chugs the rest of his drink.)

GUS
Hey, take it easy buddy.

RALPH
Whatever happened, it can't be that bad.
PHIL
Really? How would you like it if you were stuck in one place
and every day was exactly the same and nothing that you did
made any difference?

(Gus and Ralph look up from their

drinks.)
(SONG: NOBODY CARES)