My head won’t stop spiraling

Daymare demons cloud my mind

I can’t escape, They won’t let me rest in my soft bed,
But instead…

Images of the past and death reveal, the guilt I had

Yet still feel
And somehow reveals my worst fears
The bloody war of shadows where I once fought
Destroying flower fields and gardens where children once played

Peace I only wished and sought

The grassy hills of my childhood remain still

But there,
There was no blood, death, or tears

I remember my wife and kids greeting me at the garden gate

Ignorant of my inner hate,
They couldn’t see the debate, of my troubled conscience
Or the infliction I continue to bear
For they were too happy to have me home

Our home to love, to share, and honor

I am a soldier home
A soldier home from war
I came home with a guilt to hide, instead of pride
Trying to forget the children I shot, that died

The war was not mine but someone else’s

So why should I care?

It only strook home when I saw a child dying there in front of me

Visions and voices suffocate my mind in despair
Why do our mothers have to mourn?
Why must I die so young?

You
Soldier from another land what did we do?
Please
Tell us why

I can only bow my head, grimace, frown

An answer I cannot give
For I was only sent there

So others have a chance to live

Now war is over

In my sweet home I now reside

But the voices of despair
Still pound at my head

I cry to myself in silence

How can I bear
The purgatory I must go through
Knowing I killed a child there

By Franchezka Gonzales Bacani