DRF Book-Free 290423

Drift
How to (accidentally) create a

life you don’t want
Meredith Paige NeJame

This edition is designed to be printed, copied, and shared.
To my family.
Life with you is the exact one I was aiming for.
Introduction
One day, you wake up and are nowhere near

your goals and dreams.
You have no idea how you got here, but you feel
like something has gone amiss.
It turns out that a few seemingly inconsequen-

tial decisions to stay put and let life unfold have
caused you to drift away from the life you really
want.
Fixing drift is hard but not impossible and often

entails untangling your whole life.
But if you recognize drift early, you can avoid

waking up one day to a life you don’t want.
Free Printable Edition 4

When you’re a kid, a lot’s decided for you.
You’re told to go to school, study hard, and get

great grades.
When the bell rings, you switch classes.
Wednesday is art day; Friday is gym.
You walk single file through the hallways.
And sit on your dot at circle time.

But quite suddenly, you find yourself thrust
into a world where nobody points to a path or
decides what you should do.
No parents.
No friends down the hall.
No advisors, guidance counselors, or tutors.
Deciding is up to you.

So you get a flu shot, put your bills on autopay,
and arrange your vinyls alphabetically.
That’s deciding, right?
However, big decisions loom.
“What will I do with my life?”
“Who will I do it with?”

You know what you’d love to do, but the path is
unclear. It’s hard to know where to begin.
“It wouldn’t be this hard to start if my entrepre-

neurial dreams were really meant to be.”
So, you put it off.
“Later, tomorrow even.”
But tomorrow, the path is still fuzzy. And now,

you’re one day behind.

You head in “any old” direction and bump into
ideas, people, hobbies, and jobs.
As you’re moving along, you get good at a lot

of stuff. And because you’re smart, people want
you on their team.
“Come here.”
“Stay a while.”
“We like you.”
So you join them.

And they’re right. You are good at these things.
Stuff that others find difficult. And cool.
“This isn’t what I dreamed of doing when I was ten.”
But you stay anyway because (what’s wrong

with you) this is a life other people admire.

Uh oh.

And there are invisible forces at play as well.
Some employers must make the path simple,

otherwise nobody would ever apply to their ho-
hum positions.
These companies understand that most people

are likely to choose the straightforward path
to a mundane job over the blurry path to the
career of their dreams.
“Apply now.”
“Same day interviews.”
“Signing bonus!”
And all at once you’ve made it to a last round

interview for a job you don’t want.

Like the actor who took a job in insurance.
“A solid company.”
“401k match.”
And because he was smart, he got pretty good

at selling insurance.
Five years later, he had accidentally become the

head of the whole branch.
Which is great if you want to be an insurance

CEO.
And not so great if you want to be an improv

actor on SNL.

Other people’s expectations can also cause you
to drift.
“You’d be a great nurse...”
“The family business is waiting...”
“The wedding invitations are already mailed...”
And even though it’s not what you want, you

stay stuck.
All to avoid disappointing someone other than

yourself.

There’s also a draw to certain places.
You apply to a college on the West Coast. Even

though you’d rather be near family on the East
Coast.
“It’s only for four years.”
“I’ll come back to Boston.”
But then you meet your soulmate who’s based

in California.
And you stay.

The pull to certain people is similar but more
nuanced.
“We’ve been together so long...”
“The dating scene is so hard...”
“The clock is ticking...”
And even though Sam from accounting is now

single, you can’t bring yourself to break up with
Taylor to make a move.

Drifting can also take you down a difficult path.
Some wander into grad school and emerge five

long years later a full-fledged physicist.
When deep down, they long to be a ventrilo-

quist.
Grad school won because the path to becoming

a puppeteer for Sesame Street was so fuzzy.
“At least Grandma’s proud.”

So you push the thoughts about changing aside
and do your best to keep shoving them away.
And you justify (and justify, and justify):
“They’re grooming me to take over the company...”
“Right now, I’m just going with the flow...”
“I’d ruin our friendship by dating her...”
But the longer you stay, the more time that’s

invested.

The more you’ve invested, the harder it is to
leave.
“I have to see this through...”
“I’ve worked so hard to get here...”
“It’s an expensive degree...”
“We’ve been dating for eight years...”
So you stay.
All in a spot you don’t want to be.

So, here’s the secret:
Uncertain choices often signal a great reward.

And you’ll need to bushwhack your way
through an overgrown trail to reach the prize.
But once you arrive, you’ll be surrounded by

gutsy people just like you.

Now this is the crossroads.

Vow to take one tiny step into the dense fog.
“Aunt Fran mentioned she has a friend who’s a TV

writer.”
“I’ll contact the head of the political science de-

partment.”
“What if I just write the first sentence of my break-

up speech?”

And by taking the first step, the next steps tend
to reveal themselves:
“Let me show your work to our showrunner.”
“I’m having lunch with the admissions director,

and I’ll mention you.”
“Sam, can we talk?”

Imagine becoming the best in the world at
something you don’t love.
Or the spouse of someone who you “might as

well” marry.

So take control and steer toward what you really
want, understanding that even small choices
matter.
Always be true to yourself to avoid waking up to

an accidental life.

End
A review on Amazon makes all the
difference and is much appreciated.

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Drift

How to (accidentally) create a

Meredith Paige NeJame

One day, you wake up and are nowhere near

It turns out that a few seemingly inconsequen-

Fixing drift is hard but not impossible and often

But if you recognize drift early, you can avoid

Free Printable Edition 4

You’re told to go to school, study hard, and get

When the bell rings, you switch classes.

Wednesday is art day; Friday is gym.

You walk single file through the hallways.

And sit on your dot at circle time.

Free Printable Edition 5

No friends down the hall.

No advisors, guidance counselors, or tutors.

Free Printable Edition 6

That’s deciding, right?

However, big decisions loom.

“What will I do with my life?”

“Who will I do it with?”

Free Printable Edition 7

“It wouldn’t be this hard to start if my entrepre-

So, you put it off.

“Later, tomorrow even.”

But tomorrow, the path is still fuzzy. And now,

Free Printable Edition 8

As you’re moving along, you get good at a lot

“We like you.”

So you join them.

Free Printable Edition 9

Stuff that others find difficult. And cool.

“This isn’t what I dreamed of doing when I was ten.”

But you stay anyway because (what’s wrong

Free Printable Edition 10

Free Printable Edition 11

Some employers must make the path simple,

These companies understand that most people

“Same day interviews.”

And all at once you’ve made it to a last round

Free Printable Edition 12

And because he was smart, he got pretty good

Five years later, he had accidentally become the

Which is great if you want to be an insurance

And not so great if you want to be an improv

Free Printable Edition 13

“You’d be a great nurse...”

“The family business is waiting...”

“The wedding invitations are already mailed...”

And even though it’s not what you want, you

All to avoid disappointing someone other than

Free Printable Edition 14

You apply to a college on the West Coast. Even

“It’s only for four years.”

“I’ll come back to Boston.”

But then you meet your soulmate who’s based

And you stay.

Free Printable Edition 15

“We’ve been together so long...”

“The dating scene is so hard...”

“The clock is ticking...”

And even though Sam from accounting is now

Free Printable Edition 16