SAKRIPISIO ITI PANAGASAWA: FEMINISM CRITICISM

An Undergraduate analysis of the story entitled " Sapay Koma."

presented to the subject teacher of Literary Criticism of
Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Colleges - Marbel, Inc.
Koronadal City

Submitted To:
ROSE E. USERO, PhD

Submitted By:
ERYKA I. BARILLO
NORELYN A. PALENCIA

MARCH 2023
 SAKRIPISIO ITI PANAGASAWA: FEMINISM CRITICISM

Marriage means sacrifice. Sacrificing your desires for the good of the other
and the sake of the whole family. The author of “Sapay Koma” is Jhoanna Lynn
Cruz, who wrote the story on September 14, 2008. She went through many pained,
complex events in a marriage, but she still managed to write with so much
symbolism. In the end, through her ups and downs, she manages to have hope, give
forgiveness and also ask for it. In addition, the story's title, "Sapay Koma," comes
from her dog name, who became the sacrifice for her Marriage. Also, the main
character in the story was Maria. Leon’s wife gave her everything, even her closest
friend, "Sapay Koma," a dog, to accept her as the family man.
In addition, Maria and Leon get married even if their parents of Leon are
against it because, in the theology of the Cordilleras, if siblings marry within the
same year, one of the marriages will fail. Nevertheless, Maria told her mother about
this, and her mother wrote a demand letter saying that if their child were in the same
situation as Maria, they would rush them to get married. To make it short, they got
married, and Maria took all the responsibility for managing the expenses of their
wedding. However, even though they are married and have two children, Maria is
still not accepted by his parents of Leon. She did everything to be accepted, but it
goes nothing despite all her sacrifices and positivity. Until Maria decided to live in
Davao with her two children, Maria raised her kids without any family and husband's
help. She ensures that her kids will grow happy and sound and will never feel
unloved. In the end, they spend all the special days in their life together, not just
together but happily and productively, For she learns that she is indeed an excellent
wife to her husband, trying to fit in in their family, sacrificing everything dear to her to
make the marriage work and worth it.
Furthermore, in the story of Sapay Koma, the woman is strong and
independent. She is full of positivity in herself to deal with her husband's relatives.
She will do everything, including her dog's sacrifice for the relatives' expectations to
be fed, the inexistence of the woman's identity as a mother and wife, and the non-
inclusion of their family picture in The Wedding Wall. Maria once said, "I truly
believed that our Marriage would succeed even without his parents' approval of me. I
was used to flouting norms and not needing anyone" the same thoughts as (Ische,
2016) in her study entitled: Ways to instantly improve your marriage that, “your
marriage will be not be define by the size of your struggle, but by the size of your
commitment to overcome the struggles together, without minding on people who let
you down.” Unfortunately, she was wholly empowered not by anyone but by her
painful and disheartening experience. She continued to become a good mother for
her children, for the memory of Sapay Koma, and for the people she has been
teaching up until today.
Moreover, the form and content of the work are influenced by the writer’s
gender because it reveals how the displacement of culture and society influenced
her decisions, personality, and identity as a woman. When she got married, she
always followed the culture of her husband. She does it to prove that their Marriage
will be successful. Like Maria said, "I only wanted to show them that I respected their
culture, even though I would never belong.” The same thought as Hicks (2013), in
his study entitled: What Is the Real Meaning of Dignity? that, “The glue that holds all
of our relationships together is the mutual recognition of the desire to be seen,
heard, listened to, and treated fairly; to be recognized, understood, to be respected
and to feel safe in the world even I don’t belong.” She is trying to be with them that
even her favorite dog offers a sacrifice to prove that she respects their culture; she
went through many pains of different events in Marriage but is still strong enough to
seek freedom and something that will show what her experience as a wife and being
a woman to other people.
In addition, Maria and Leon's Marriage is a source of conflict which Maria's life
as a woman tested. When they moved to her husband's house, she just followed
their culture to show respect. Maria stated, “In our six years together, I can think of
more instances in which our separate worlds collided and caused aftershocks in my
Marriage. However, none of it rivaled what I thought was the worst affront to me.”
That happened when she saw the wall with enlarged and framed wedding photos of
her mother-in-law's children. Maria and her husband did not have a photo on that
wall, hurting her so much. She realizes that her family does not accept her until she
decides to go to Davao and live there with her two children. Their Marriage failed, so
instead of thinking to give up, we need to prove to them that we are worthy and
deserve to be accepted because that is the right thing to happen. The same thought
with Orman, (2015) in his study entitled: Believing you are worthy of love means that
you believe I deserve, that, “Believing you are worthy of love means that you believe
I deserve to be treated well-with respect and dignity. I deserve to be cherished and
adored by someone. I am worthy of an intimate and fulfilling relationship. I won’t
settle for less than I deserve. I will do whatever it takes to create that for myself.”
Also, Sapay Koma affirms the traditional view of women because they are the
ones to take care of their families. The characters are expected to behave
accordingly to their districts. In some districts, you are expected to be weak and not
stand up for yourself. Like what Maria did, because she is in place of her husband,
she has to be with them accordingly. Only when she decided to separate ways and
have their own lives with her children. This encourages me to believe that no matter
how much suffering we have endured, there is always hope and that we must
persevere and fight for our rights as Women.
For instance, Maria's image in the story is a mere wife without power against
her in-laws and husband. Even to talk to her and give her respect. It is when Maria
said, “Not that I was being selfish. I fumed about not even being introduced to these
relatives as their son's wife. They would introduce my daughter and her yaya, but I
remained a "phantom of delight," flitting about the house." In that line, her in-laws
ignored her, and her husband did not exert an effort to initiate what her wife wanted.
Her husband did explain her reasons why without understanding Maria's feelings.
With what she said, "But none of it rivaled what I thought was the worst affront to
me.” She knew that there was no equal treatment for her inside the house. She is
just the mother of their children, and only their children are accepted in the family
and not her. That is Maria's marital expectation because she is their son's wife, and it
is her right to be accepted and to introduce to other relatives to be treated equally
like her husband’s siblings’ spouse. Like what Say, (2020) thoughts in his study
entitled: Gender Equality (WOMEN) that, “Marriage equality is about more than just
marriage. It’s about something greater. It’s about acceptance.”
No doubt, Maria’s behavioral expectation is to become good, kind, and polite
to her in-laws to appreciate her and treat her as a part of the family. She also stated,
"I only wanted to show them that I respected their culture, even though I would never
belong.” It shows what she is expecting to treat her the way she wants to be treated.
However, sadly, she failed to fulfill it, for her marital status affects her decisions and
happiness by trying to fit herself in a place she does not belong and welcome. She
sacrificed her happiness and did not think about her decision because she was
protecting the Marriage. Like what the bible said in Matthew 19:6, “We must guard
our marriage, so that the outside world cannot separate it. We must protect its core –
the love between husband and wife. This doesn’t come for free – it will cost us a lot.
But our marriage is only as strong as what we invest into it.” Maria claimed that she
was in happy marriage, even though she knew it was far from what she expected as
a married woman but she keeps on insisting that it will work and she will be accepted
even though she had different culture because she is Igorot.
Therefore, due to her wanting to become part of the family, she was in deep
pain, figuring out why can't her in-laws accept her for who she was as their son's
wife. That she had sacrificed even her dearest loved one to pay respect when in fact,
her in-laws were not giving some respect to her; still, she remained good and
endured all the pain for many years just to save her Marriage. Indeed, the story was
excellent and essential, for it taught us how to know our limits and treat people with
respect even though they did not deserve respect. Most of all, knowing when to let
go and give up is essential if the things we want hurt us. Especially if you cannot feel
valued and loved, let go of that person, find your happiness, and pour your life to the
person who deserves you and accepts you for who you are. Despite the difficulties
she encounters in her in-law's house, she remains a good person, hoping that her
husband's family will accept her for who she is.
References:
Ische, S. (2016, January 7). 10 ways to instantly improve your marriage.
Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/550705860664355783/

Hicks, D. (2013, April 10). What Is the Real Meaning of Dignity? Psychology

tToday. Retrieved March 21, 2023,
from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/dignity/201304/
what-is-the-real-meaning-dignity-0

Orman, (2015). Believing you are worthy of love means that you believe
Ideserve.IdleHearts. https://www.idlehearts.com/1740880/believing-
you-are-worthy-of-love-means-that-you-believe-i-deserve

Say, J. (2020, July 28). Gender Equality (WOMEN). Gracious

https://graciousquotes.com/gender-equality/