IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME DIE.

BY: FABIEN ANDREA M. MEREGILLANO & LEA G. PITPIT

“Do it! Please do it!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as the

pain started to creep on me slowly for the nth time this morning.
Trix, teary eyed, was right in front of my glistening eyes,
standing not so straight, feeling weak in the knees, staring at
me not doing anything, begging me to do it. “I can’t… I really c-
can’t Thor… I can’t possibly let someone that is very dear to me
die.” She said to me as she stared to push me towards the machine
that I despised so much. I grabbed her trembling and sweaty hands
stopped her. “STOP! PLEASE STOP! DO NOT DO IT!” I managed to say
even though I was screaming, I tried to calm down to convince
her, “If you l-love me, l-let me die.” I said as I used all my
strength to not scream whilst looking at her eyes with pain.
Knowing she can’t refuse my request any longer, she looked away
closing her eyes and covering her ears…
I was panting, sweating, running away from my shouting mother
that was chasing me “Eythor Elrod! Come back here, this instant!”
I don’t like it here. There are many people lying in these
strange white beds. Are they sick? What exactly is this place? I
overhead my mother and a strange guy that my mother keeps calling
doctor talking about illness. I don’t understand any of the words
that are coming out of their mouths. Something about them talking
makes me feel light-headed, I should stop eavesdropping on them.
As I kept running as fast as I could towards the exit, “Ouchy!” I
bumped into someone, a little girl that was a little bit taller
than I was. She was blocking my way! When I got up, I continued
on running away from my mother, but I noticed that the little
girl was now also running by my side, “Why are you running? Are
we playing tag?” we stopped in front of a room as the girl kept
on asking questions. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside
the room that seems to be a storage room filled with advanced and
strange equipment, like human-sized machines, tablets,
holographic machines, and broken robots with some of them
flashing on and off.
“Who are you?” I asked her as I turned to face her with an
annoyed tone. “Hi! my name’s Bellatrix Villarreal, Trix for
short, and I am 9 years old!” she said half happy and half
confused “What about you? I don’t remember your face; I’m
guessing you’re not one of the regular patients that my father
monitors.” Continued with a more confused voice. “I am Eythor
Eldor, Thor for short, and I am actually 3 years younger than
you. Where are we? What are all these people doing here? What are
all these machines for?” I bombarded Trix with all of the
questions that I could possibly think of, hoping she would be
able to answer them since she seems familiar with this place.
“We’re in my father’s hospital- “she was interrupted by a robot
barging through the door that was separating us and my raging
mother, followed by the man my mother was talking to earlier, and
my mother. “Dad! Oh, hi AI7!” I think she just greeted a robot...
and his father? What on Earth?
“Thor let’s go home.” My mother said with a soft voice, so soft
that I almost didn’t recognize her. “Thank you so much Dr.
Villarreal, we need to go now.” The man nodded to my mother and
then turned to me looking at me with pity.
I thought that was the last time I ever set foot inside of that
place, but I was so wrong, very very very wrong. Every month, I
would find myself inside of that building, surrounded by
machines, cables, apparatuses, and other things that were strange
to me attached to my body.
I didn’t want to go here at all, but I had to. “Your son needs to
stay here for the meantime, we just need to conduct some
procedures to maintain the condition of his bone and the growing
tumor.” Bone and tumor were words that I always heard whenever I
was taken to this place. I have been diagnosed with a chronic
disease, called Osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer that begins
in the cells.
As time passed by, my illness got worse to the point where I
would randomly scream because of the pain that I was going
through, and eventually I was staying in the building that I
despised as a kid, every week. “Are you feeling okay?” I snapped
out of my thoughts when Trix entered the room I was in. She was
now standing in front of the door, and I was sitting on the bed,
I have just finished my therapy session with AI7. It has become
part of my daily routine. “How was today’s session?” we became
friends 8 years ago after the running-away-from-my-mother
scenario. “I heard from dad that you improved a lot, he said you
are not screaming any longer every time your bone hurts.” I
nodded as I was listening to her, not necessarily looking at her,
just listening. “Well that’s good news then, I’m so proud of
you.” Back then, when I would scream because of the pain, they
would bring me to a human capsule-like machine that would numb
the pain, that was invented around the year 2051 by the
scientists named Lea and Fabien.
“Are you going to be available for tomorrow? I expect you to be
there.” Of course, how could I forget her birthday and farewell
party?
“Yes” in fact, I already brought her a gift. She’ll be leaving
next week to study abroad and pursue her father’s profession, and
continue the legacy, since Dr. Villarreal is getting old, someone
will eventually need to replace him to run the hospital.
My holographone rang. As soon as I answered it, a holographic
image of my mother popped out of the electronic device in my
hand.
“Hello sweetie! Are things alright? I will be there right with
you in 10 minutes. Are you hungry? I can buy food on the way.”
She then ended the call without letting me speak or even answer
of her questions. I got irritated.
I heard Trix chuckling, enjoying the view in front of her, which
was my face with my big brown brows arched. “Tita Marga really
has a habit of doing that huh?” I smiled at the statement, we
were so close that Trix even knows how similar mom and I are.
Well, it was inevitable since we spent almost eight years healing
in the hospital that her dad owns. But it wasn’t consistent since
I also went to school to study. Trix’s family and mine became
close. We would occasionally gather together for outings or
parties.
“Happy Birthday Trix!” I found her around the pool filled with
chlorine, socializing with her other friends, some of them
standing, and some other sitting besides her. There were so many
robots serving all kinds of drinks with all kinds of flavors and
a vast choice of food. Some of her visitors have just arrived,
parking their flying cars carefully on the upper floor of the
party venue. “Thank you so much Thor! Where’s Tita Marga?” she
looks absolutely stunning in her red dress with her curly hair,
so beautiful that I forgot to answer the question she asked me
and ended up staring at her the whole time. I will definitely
miss this girl.
It’s been eight months since I last saw her at the airport to fly
all the way to Canada to get that degree. She’s been busy with
her career ever since, so we rarely get any chance to talk to
each other and catch up about things. While I have been doing
well for the past months, or so I thought. My pain recently came
back. Mom decided to take me on vacation 5 months ago, thinking I
was free from the bone tumor. We were having fun and enjoying the
night, until I found myself wailing and screaming in agony once
again.
The holographone that was stored in my back pocket rang. It’s
Trix! I wiped away my tears and turned to face the screen. “Hi
Trix! How’s your day? Is everything fine? Look! I got you a
gift!” I said with a very excited tone to see her after so long
showing the robot dog I got for her. “I’ll teleport it to you
later.” I said casually since they have been around for quite
some time thanks to our high-tech generation, we have created
teleportation machines but applicable only for non-living things.
“Aww, thank you so much Thor, you didn’t have to! My day has been
pretty good so far since I just woke up hahaha, time-zones
remember. How about you? Let’s go on a road trip in five years!
At that time, I will become a nurse so I’d like to take a break
before working there.” I just listened to her, while the pain was
still lingering, refusing to tell her my current condition, she
has no idea that my bone cancer has returned. I want her to focus
on her studies, I don’t want her to worry, because I will that
she will fly back home from Canada just to see and check on me.
My condition worsen as the tumor has spread throughout my body.
It cannot be stopped by any machine. They just kept on bringing
me back to the human capsule-like machine to numb me from the
inescapable pain that will always come back to me. I again spent
years and years inside the hospital.
“THOR! I FINALLY GOT MY DEGREE LOOK AT-” a really high pitched
voice pierced right through my ears as the door was swung open by
the girl that is dearest to me and that I missed so much was
interrupted by the terrible scene that she saw, her excitement
immediately faded away into the air as her eyes fell into despair
and terror was the expression that was filling her face, pity,
sadness, anger, all kinds of emotions were overflowing the room,
just like the tears were overflowing Trix’s eyes. “Why didn’t you
tell me? Why on Earth would you hide it from me?” she sobbed. I
smiled at her weakly. Just like that, I felt the pain entering my
bones little by little. It’s like a bunch pf knife repeatedly
stab you with all of the strength in the world. I can’t do this
anymore. I screamed as loud as I could. The nurses rushed to
snatch me from Trix’s embrace, now left alone as she watched me
screaming at the top of my lungs entering the capsule for the nth
time today.
Trix volunteered to keep an eye on me at the hospital and asked
her father to be my personal nurse. She didn’t really have to do
that since AI7 was there to help me. “Care of real humas is
better, Thor. Don’t you dare refuse.” She insisted on being my
personal nurse after what happened yesterday. I couldn’t do
anything, plus I really wanted her to be my personal nurse.
Days went by, and the pain grew worse. Due to the agony, I was
taken to the capsule almost every hour. Every day and every night
I was screaming and screeching and yelling, wondering if I would
ever get better. This was getting too much for me. Even the
machines couldn’t help me.
“Trix.” I called her softly taking her attention away from the
wire that was attached to my body. “Yes?” she then proceeds to
fumble with the wire once again after asking me the question. “I
need you to do me a favor.” She paused and looked at me slowly.
“A favor?”
“Yes” I answered.
“Then what is it?” she tilted her head slightly.
“I don’t want you to put me in the capsule anymore, please let me
scream all I want.” I said all in one breath.
“What?! Are you insane? You’ll die!”
“Exactly. I can’t do this anymore, let’s put an end to this
suffering. I overhead mom and Tito David talking about my
condition. There is no cure for this. They are just waiting for
my body to give up. And I can’t do this anymore. My condition can
only get worse. I feel pain almost every minute. It’s like I’m
being tortured. Trix, please, I have no more hope left, please, I
don’t want to go back inside of that capsule.
She was crying and staring at me, as if she knows exactly what is
on my mind.
“NO! please, I don’t want to hear it. Please Thor, don’t do
this.” She was begging and I was hating every second of it. I
don’t want her to suffer emotionally as much as I was physically.
I held her soft and small hands in mine.
“Do it! Please do it!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as the
pain started to creep on me slowly for the nth time this morning.
Trix, teary eyed, was right in front of my glistening eyes,
standing not so straight, feeling weak in the knees, staring at
me not doing anything, begging me to do it. “I can’t… I really c-
can’t Thor… I can’t possibly let someone that is very dear to me
die.” She said to me as she stared to push me towards the machine
that I despised so much. I grabbed her trembling and sweaty hands
stopped her. “STOP! PLEASE STOP! DO NOT DO IT!” I managed to say
even though I was screaming, I tried to calm down to convince
her, “If you l-love me, l-let me die.” I said as I used all my
strength to not scream whilst looking at her eyes with pain.
Knowing she can’t refuse my request any longer., she looked away
closing her eyes and covering her ears, allowing the tear that
have been pooling up in her eyes fall down to the stone-cold
floor, as my screams began to echo throughout the white walls of
the hospital, multiple nurses rushed into the room and started
panicking. It was too late. The moment Trix’s dad entered the
room, I lost all movement, I couldn’t move at all. Soon I
couldn’t see or hear anything.