Acknowledge

Tanks for Professor Dawit Markuh (PHD, Assistant Professor) for the Extreme Subjects
and Give the Assignments and Researches Thanks Red the My Research & Assignment
Abstract
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with Effective communication is the glue that helps
you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem
solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating
conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become. How many
times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or
coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress
and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help
to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able
to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate
it would be better to remain silent.

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:
Author Idea
 Sadness, crying spells
 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”
Abbreviation
SOP Standard Written Operating Procedures

GMP Good Manufacturing Practices

DNA deoxyribonucleic acid

RNA ribo nucleic Acid

SARS Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome

Sub mission
Tanks for Professor Dawit Markuh (PHD, Assistant Professor) for the Extreme Subjects
and Give the Assignments and Researches Thanks Red the My Research & Assignment
Constant
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with Effective communication is the glue that helps
you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem
solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating
conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become. How many
times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or
coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress
and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help
to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able
to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate
it would be better to remain silent.

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:
Assemble
 Sadness, crying spells
 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”
Devolution
SOP Standard Written Operating Procedures

GMP Good Manufacturing Practices

DNA deoxyribonucleic acid

RNA ribo nucleic Acid

SARS Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome

 Chapter 1
Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.

More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.

Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
  Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
 Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
 Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to

nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
 You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to

use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
 a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or

introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
 Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
 Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
 Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:

 Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
  Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

 Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
 Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
 Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.
The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.

The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.

The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.

Grief and Loss

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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.

Chronic Illness and Loss

Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).

It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
 Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much

Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
  Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

 Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities

 Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
  Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.

More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.
Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
 Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
 Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
 nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to

nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
 You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

  Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to
use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or
introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
 Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
 Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
  Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:

 Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
 Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

 Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
 Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
  Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.

The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.

The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.
The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.

Grief and Loss

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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.

Chronic Illness and Loss

Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).

It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
 Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much
Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

 Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities
  Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.

More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.

Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
 Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
 Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
 being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to

nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
 You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to

use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
 shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or

introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
 Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
 Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
 Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:

 Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
 Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

  Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
 Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
 Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.

The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.
The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.

The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.

Grief and Loss

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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.
Chronic Illness and Loss
Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).

It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
 Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much

Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

  Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities

 Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
  Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.

More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.

Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.
Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
 Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
 Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
 set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to

nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
 You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to

use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.
Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or

introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
  Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
 Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
 Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:
  Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
 Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

 Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
 Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
 Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.

The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.

The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.

The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.
Grief and Loss
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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.

Chronic Illness and Loss

Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).

It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.
Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
 Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much

Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
  Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

 Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities

 Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
 o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.

Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
 Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
 Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.
Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to

nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
  You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to

use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or

introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
 Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
  Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
 Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:

 Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
 Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

 Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
  Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
 Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.

The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.

The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.

The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.

Grief and Loss

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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.

Chronic Illness and Loss

Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).
It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
  Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much

Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

 Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
 o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities

 Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the
emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is how you convey a
message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended.

More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including
nonverbal communication, attentive listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and
those of the person you’re communicating with.

Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and
improve teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even
negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.

While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous
rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech
that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to
develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you
put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

 Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed,

you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal
signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm
down before continuing a conversation.
 Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re
planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or
thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
 Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being
said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else,
your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes”
while shaking your head no.
  Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use
negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms,
avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s
being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive it’s
important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Be a good listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is more about listening
than it is about talking. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating. When you really listen, you make the other person feel heard and understood,
which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will
often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more
satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If
you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss
nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers,
try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you
stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying
something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening
is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s
saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your
facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to
set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a
person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the
most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and
make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
 Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by
paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to
reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll
sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you.
Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say," or "Is this
what you mean?"  
Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to
nonverbal signals
When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.
Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and
gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and
breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about
how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect
with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better
relationships at home and work.

 You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms

uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and
maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
 You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a
friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding
your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to

use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely
to use nonverbal signals differently.
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from
eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let
eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the
signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how you deliver nonverbal communication

 Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication

should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body
language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For
example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
 Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for
example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing
a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural
background of the person you’re interacting with.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually
experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important
 presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal
confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with
your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your
shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It
will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions. And that
means learning how to manage stress. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk
patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss,
friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly
relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases
you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state
that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other
person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Staying calm under pressure

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or

introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think
on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure. These tips can help:

 Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Have a question repeated, or ask for
clarification of a statement before responding.
 Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make
you seem more in control than rushing your response.
 Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your
response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s
interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if
you should make a second point.
 Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important
as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your
body language relaxed and open.
 Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop
talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by
continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When things start to get heated in the middle of a conversation, you need something quick and
immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the
moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your
feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state
of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available
and engaged.
To deal with stress during communication:

 Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re
stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are
your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
 Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
 Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths,
clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example.
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound,
touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you
need to find things that are soothing to you.
 Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to
relieve stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too
seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
 Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to
find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you
realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise
may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
 Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can
calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Go for a stroll outside
if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet
place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and
decision-making. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open
and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being
hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the
other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.
To improve assertiveness:

 Value yourself and your opinions. They are as important as anyone else’s.
 Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of
others.
 Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s OK to be angry, but you must be
respectful as well.
 Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes,
ask for help when needed.
 Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look
for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

  Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other
person's situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. "I know you've been very
busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well."
 Escalating assertion can be used when your first attempts are not successful. You
become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences
if your needs are not met. For example, "If you don't abide by the contract, I'll be forced
to pursue legal action."
 Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to start with to help build up your
confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them
first.

More help for effective communication

 Conflict Resolution Skills: Building the Skills That Can Turn Conflicts into
Opportunities
 Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor: Using Laughter and Play to Build and
Maintain Successful Relationships
 Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body
Language
 Overcoming Loneliness and Shyness: Making Friends Even if You Feel Shy or Socially
Awkward

The 4 Essential Types of Family Structure

By Toby Shelton  |   Submitted On July 13, 2010

24 5 2 2 2 1 3 2 1

Family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes. Most of the time when
a person imagine of the definition of a family, the figure of a mother, father and children is what
comes into the mind. The form or structure does not show how healthy the it is or how they
function.

Structures are the substantial makeup of the members in relationship to each other without
respect to roles and function. There are famous four types of a families structure; Nuclear, Single
Parent, Extended, and Childless. These four types of family structure give the variety of forms
they may appear to.

The first structure from the four types of is Nuclear. A nuclear family consists of a mother,
father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. This was
the most admired from the four types of structure. It can be can be a fostering environment in
which to hoist children as long as there is love, time spent with children, emotional support, low
stress, and a constant economic upbringing.
The second structure from the four types of family structure is the Single Parent. Its one most
outstanding transform from the four types of family structure was the amplified of Single Parent.
Children are most likely to live in a single parent structure for reasons other than the death of a
parent.

One in four children is born with their mothers not married, usually teenage mothers. One of the
most luxurious things for a single parent is child care. Single families frequently have less
pressure compared to the pressure in families before divorce. Usually parents and children are
more eager to work together with each other to find solutions to solve household chores in single
parent families.

The third structure from the four types of structure is the Extended Family. Extended family is
two or more adults from unlike generations of a family, who share a household. It consists of
more than parents and children; it may be a family that includes parents, children, cousins, aunts,
uncles, grandparents, foster children. At times children are raised by their grandparents when
their biological parents have died or no longer can take care of them. Extended families can be
found all over the world in different communities and countries. In the four types of structure
nuclear family is more probable to become an extended family than any other family type.

The fourth and last structure from the four type of family structure is the Childless Family. A
childless family is basically a group of people from all variety of backgrounds and all walks of
life who, for whatever reason, have never had children. Others will perhaps have children at
sometime in the future, but are not prepared just yet, and some sought to have children but were
unable to because of a variety of social and/or biological forces that obstruct and result in
unplanned childlessness. To replace children, childless families usually have pets as a substitute.

There are assortment of demonstration on the four types of family structure and the changes
stirring within the family. Although the changing lifestyles and ever-increasing personal mobility
that characterize modern society, the family remains the innermost element of contemporary life.

Grief and Loss

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Introduction
We generally think of grief as a reaction to a death. But there is another grief that comes from
loss while someone is still living.  This grief is often seen when caring for someone with a
chronic illness.  Chronic illness, and particularly any illness that impairs a person’s cognitive
ability, causes caregivers and loved ones to experience grief and loss right now. In this fact sheet,
we will discuss the grief related to death and dying, and grief associated with chronic illness. It is
natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after the actual time of their
passing.  The process of accepting the unacceptable is what grieving is all about.
Chronic Illness and Loss
Over time, with most chronic illnesses, there are changes in a person’s abilities. Whether it is
someone living with Parkinson’s Disease who can no longer button a shirt, or someone coping
with Diabetes who has to follow a special diet, or someone with Alzheimer’s Disease who can’t
remember who you are, caregivers have to adjust to the needs of the care receiver. Caregivers
may experience many kinds of losses:  loss of independence, loss of control, loss of the future as
it had been imagined; loss of financial security, of the relationship as it once was, loss of
freedom, sleep, and family harmony; loss of someone to share chores and other tasks with, or
simply the loss of someone to talk things over with. Persons with chronic illnesses also have to
adjust to many of the same losses, but also—loss of dignity, mobility, a carefully planned future
or retirement, a loss of roles that were played, or the loss of a sense of worth (all depending on
what disability is associated with the illness).

It is easy to ignore these losses and just keep doing the things that need to be done.  However,
these losses lead to grief, and grief can lead to sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness
and other physical and emotional problems. It is important to identify our losses, identify our
feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives.  When we can do
this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts weighed down by guilt, or creep over us
as depression and hopelessness; they instead can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of
something treasured—which family and friends close to the situation can likely empathize with,
leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss
with you.

Writing in a journal can help you to name and express your feelings about these losses.  You can
combine it with a gratitude journal—things that you are thankful for. Prayer, meditation,
relaxation exercises, attending a support group (or simply talking with a friend or counselor), or
creating a ritual can help you to let go of the intensity of the feelings so that you can grieve but
also heal.

Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss is what we experience when someone is still “there” but also not “there.”  This
is mainly experienced when someone has a cognitive impairment from dementia, a traumatic
brain injury or a stroke. We also experience ambiguous loss when someone with dementia has
“moments of lucidity,” when he/she is clear and makes sense for a short period of time.  It is
hard not to think that if they can do this every once in awhile, they ought to be able to do it all of
the time. When they return to their confused state, we often experience anger, frustration and
disappointment—renewed grief. [See the FCA Fact Sheet, Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss, for
more information on this topic.]

Anticipatory Grief
When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before they die, we
grieve the loss of the person’s “former self.” Experiencing loss on a daily basis, as well as
anticipating the loss at the end of life, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as the loss
associated with a death. Caregivers may experience guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or
thinking of their loved one as already “gone” (particularly when someone has a cognitive
impairment).  It is important to recognize these feelings as normal.  Ultimately, anticipatory grief
is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a
loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues, make end of
life plans for funeral and burial, and experience their pain in stages.  Sometimes, when someone
has grieved a death over a long period, there is less grief when the person dies; sometimes there
is more pain when a person dies.

Grief at Death
Grief is a natural emotion, a universal experience that makes us human.  Because it is intense and
uncomfortable to feel, we often try to find ways to avoid experiencing the immensity of the
emotion—through distraction and busyness. We grieve because we are deprived of a loved one;
the sense of loss is profound, the change in roles is confounding, and we may become uncertain
of our identity. Often caregivers are in the situation of having to make changes in their
circumstances—where to live, financial concerns, relationships—along with fear of not knowing
what lies ahead.

Grief lasts a long time. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months
to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more.  Our
society expects us to be “doing fine” in about two weeks. It is common to think there is
something wrong with us if our grief “lasts too long.” The grieving process depends on our belief
system, religion, life experiences and the type of loss suffered. Many faiths have rituals for
recognizing grief and loss during at least the first year after a death. We also expect other family
members to show their grief in the same way we do, even when we can say that everyone grieves
differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; grief is an individual process. Many people
find solace in sharing their grief with family and friends; others find solace by attending grief
support groups offered in every community through their local hospice (even if you did not have
hospice services). If you are feeling overwhelmed and concerned about your own grief process
over time, seek professional help.

When someone dies suddenly, our first response is often denial, then shock, confusion and pain.
Fatal heart attacks and strokes, car accidents, suicide can leave family members perplexed and
searching for answers.  In these cases, family members may be left with unresolved issues, such
as guilt, anger, and feelings of emptiness.  Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and
our loved one who died.  It can take longer to heal from this loss and it is important to give
yourself time to grieve before pushing yourself to “move on.”  Getting support from family,
clergy, friends, and grief groups can help.

Symptoms of Grief
Grief affects our whole being—physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us will
have different symptoms.  If you have had a previous loss, you may experience grief this time in
a similar or different way, depending on the situation, your relationship with the deceased, and
other significant emotional factors in your life at the time. Culture, religion and social norms
influence what we are comfortable showing to others and even what we are comfortable
admitting to ourselves.

Physical

 Crying
 Sighing
 Low energy/exhaustion/weakness/fatigue
 Headaches
 Stomach aches, loss of appetite
 Eating too much, particularly comfort foods
 Sleep disturbance—too much or too little, disturbed dreams
 Feelings of heaviness, aches, pains
 Being super busy, pushing yourself to do too much
 Reckless, self destructive activities such as drinking too much

Social

 Feeling alone
 Wanting to isolate yourself from socializing, finding it hard to pretend to feel ok, being pushed
to be social by others
 Feeling detached from others
 Angry that others’ lives are going on as usual and yours isn’t
 Not wanting to be alone, feeling needy and clingy

Emotional

 Sadness, crying spells

 Anger/frustration/rage
 Confusion/overwhelmed
 Guilt
 Worry/anxiety/panic
 Yearning
 Edginess/irritability
 Memory problems, feeling distracted, pre-occupied
 Depression
 Euphoria
 Passive resignation
 Fluctuating emotions    
 Sense of lack of control
 Others might see you as “unreasonable” or “overreacting”

Spiritual

 Questioning your faith/meaning of life/suffering

  Questioning reason for the death/disease
 Anger at God
 Coming closer to faith/God for solace

Stages of Grief
There is no road map for dealing with grief. There are stages that most people go through, but
they are not a linear progression from stage 1 to stage 2, etc. We “visit” these stages at different
times during the grieving process, depending on what is happening in our lives, for instance,
special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. And we might go back to a stage years later,
such as loneliness and isolation or depression. Although Elizabeth Kubler Ross defined the five
stages below, many clinicians think there are more or different stages.

 Shock/denial
o Trouble accepting the fact of death, diagnosis or new reality, numbness
o Inability to do usual activities

 Anger
o Anger at yourself, others, professionals (particularly doctors), God, life
o Feeling helpless and powerless, abandoned

 Bargaining
o Making “deals” with God or friends hoping to change the situation
o Thinking about “what could have been” or “should have done differently”

 Depression
o Feeling overwhelmed with loss and change, sadness, regret, fear, anxiety
o Lonely, isolated, self-pity, empty, lost,

 Acceptance
o Adjusting to the new reality, starting to move on
o Sense of hope, healing and integration

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
  Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
  Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
  Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

  We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
  Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Helping Those Who are Grieving

 We often feel uncomfortable when approaching someone we know who is grieving. It is hard to
know what to say or do. Here are some tips:
 Be available. Offer support in an unobtrusive but persistent manner.
 Listen without giving advice.
 Do not offer stories of your own experiences with grief. This can have the effect of dismissing
the grieving person's pain.
 Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness, including such expressions
against God. This may be normal behavior in an attempt to find meaning in what has happened.
 Realize that no one can replace or undo the loss. To heal, the individual must endure the grief
process. Allow him/her to feel the pain.
 Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing. Don't claim to "know" what the
other person is feeling.
 Don't force the individual to share feelings if he/she doesn't want to.
 Physical and emotional touch can bring great comfort to the bereaved. Don't hesitate to share a
hug or handclasp when appropriate.
 Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their routines.
 Remember holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which have important meaning for the
bereaved. Offer support during this time.
 Don't be afraid of reminding the person of the loss; he/she is already thinking about it. Share
stories and memories of the deceased.
 Send cards, flowers, deliver a meal, offer to do chores, donate to a cause that is important to the
person who died or who is grieving.

Taking Care of YOU

Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting
your own process will help you to do what you need to do in
order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your
feelings—good and bad—will help you to cope better with
whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support, cocoon,
or whatever is nurturing for youTaking Care of YOU
Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting
your own process will help you to do what you need to do in
order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your
feelings—good and bad—will help you to cope better with
whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support, cocoon,
or whatever is nurturing for youTaking Care of YOU
Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting
your own process will help you to do what you need to do in
order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your
feelings—good and bad—will help you to cope better with
whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support, cocoon,
or whatever is nurturing for youTaking Care of YOU
Taking care of yourself in difficult times is hard.  Trusting your own process will help you to do
what you need to do in order to best take care of yourself.  Acknowledging your feelings—good
and bad—will help you to cope better with whatever is happening. Read, journal, get support,
cocoon, or whatever is nurturing for you.

Reference  
 "Biohazard Symbol History". Archived from the original on February 13, 2012.
 "USDA Policies and Procedures on Biohazardous Waste Decontamination, Management,
and Quality Controls at Laboratories and Technical Facilities". USDA. Archived from the
original on March 5, 2017. Retrieved December 17, 2016.
 Tigabu, Bersabeh; Rasmussen, Lynn; White, E. Lucile; Tower, Nichole; Saeed,
Mohammad; Bukreyev, Alexander; Rockx, Barry; LeDuc, James W.; Noah, James W. (1
April 2014). "A BSL-4 High-Throughput Screen Identifies Sulfonamide Inhibitors of Nipah
Virus". Assay and Drug Development Technologies. 12 (3): 155–161.
doi:10.1089/adt.2013.567. PMC 3994909.
 http://www.iconglobe.net/blog/2011/01/07/biohazard-symbol-history/ [permanent dead link]
 Baldwin, C. L.; Runkle, R. S. (13 October 1967). "Biohazards Symbol: Development of a
Biological Hazards Warning Signal". Science. 158 (3798): 264–265.
Bibcode:1967Sci...158..264B. doi:10.1126/science.158.3798.264. PMID 6053882.
 WAC 296-800-11045 Archived February 10, 2012, at the Wayback Machine, see PDF for
a high resolution graphic
 Baldwin CL, Runkle RS (October 1967). "Biohazards symbol: development of a biological
hazards warning signal". Science. 158 (3798): 264–5. Bibcode:1967Sci...158..264B.
doi:10.1126/science.158.3798.264. PMID 6053882.
 Preston, Richard (1994). The Hot Zone. New York: Anchor Books ISBN 978-3-426-77257-
7.
 Preston, Richard (2002). The Demon in the Freezer: A True Story. ISBN 978-0-375-50856-
1.