One Woman's Path to Partnership janufacturing IT Bus DISCLAIMERS fifficul to talk o On the contrary, led) Services Intemational, our attend (Ith MY STORIES Sometimes other women tell me they he big deal abx SENIOR LEVEL WOMAN DESCRIBES EXCLUSIONARY TREATMENT ing differ ‘talk abe very often. T a glob 3 mullp dimension ace of exclmy mind where | sweep them into the pile labeled © Throughout my career | have ov ‘repress or contemplate." It is the growih of that performance so that ne one can pose ly think thot pile over the years that begins to wear me down 'm not qualified for that job. Again, another common wead, parti ly in leadership. | hate to heer "she gt thot job ony because she's @ woman.” [Ye people really do say that, men ond women alike.) So Il shadow of doubt and pro i begins fo make me ccoept things | don't want Io ; isn't worth ito r brings doubt. It begins to make me about myself or women as © gt tue. It makes me question m s my self-esteem. that | know To veel and gradvcly — Deigorsdo sll seem o get made in he men 1 meeting breaks. Sometimes they are shared and sommes no y fs too high, the next story hits the at just the right angle ‘Men tend to look past or over me when standing In a ‘0 send it tumbling. WI hop: doesn xp get smaller; th simply widens. A’ these times itis Even though my brain is normally wited fo near one of the men with enalyical, | also possess « most reliable sense stories, some cf inition, often thought of as @ more feminine 10 can help shore up the base cf the scattered pile Ay itution reely fails me in agoin. These are men who have making good decisions, so | ust gretehilly pres Aer mony yeats of martiags understanding that they my husband learned 10 “fe the stu in the pile Male collecgues do no my daught only understand and fust her intuit abiltes, but seek hem ut So here are the stories, the events or pattems that | experience, # | sill see ps marital status and children during in countries outside of the U.S. that can cause us to lose anal questions # My ideas frequently get ciscoun by colleagves in mestings, only to be caccepled when a man tepedts ‘hem @ few minuies late. talented women hires. Even though © | walk into meeting alter meeting a where oth robe ces these questions ore sil lagal in many ae | dean cont chee, counties, many wamen believe these thiee, And | unl —whethe ea tl i pa there are 10 or 1,000 people—| count and track when there are enough women to feel nciually further | move up in the organ nore masculine the business @ woman meetings become. his could © Lavoid siting by oth 1en of business meetings when the rales are low. I don't know why | do this, rai but its common with other more time towards women in the company. * | often say, and hear other women say, that iokes more energy for some fob than a man. Though wwe think mors is required or hawing’tispend ned to oF a ‘emotionally proces: i the background from the excl nce than most of my male ind this to be a common thread omongs! women throughou my company and & Women woich the alos of men fo women on athe sod ett his this leadership teams. Ratios matier fo women in our but ofte 5 CaeBiay company, because it tells them the extent to which im not sure | can do that" hey are represented, or 1od, by management also sets the level of ambition for any nan npelence who are very " ’ Not every nting t move up in the cr woman wants fo be the firs only woman on an WHITE MEN as FULL DIVERSITY PARTNERSis too hard to do cs my leadership goin, hos bean allele leadership teom, be: clone. The imeect on me per team ratios have risen, then f tremendous women in total, or less than 2: postive about my ef feel outside of the team dynamics. iat women who tend to rise further in meany end many other compari: the ranks in ou’ tend to be ones who stifle characteristi sidered to be more feminine and emphasize their mascul ne behoviors. They tok louder, oct mote asserive/ . 20-year cc have only hoe one femal 8 only one male whose wife worked outside the who have ly hove job. My mole colleagu dual career marriages o mud gen +h greater understanding of ssues in the workplace. © Obes have when their own mivetsity age, My the fear of tion for white men iscrimin the tendency that n do nat do as well as men fessional n © Ive experience: working or ignare each ther or compete, rather thon «i supportive stuctutes for one anc As 0 younger woman, | didn't find f en in and cared for en in the same y experien ay the ald bays network works. Now a5 @ more woman, | find Iming fo think of the large numbers of women who might want it. My empis fo intiate or ciscuss more formal netwarks for men in 0 y cus ol he Unie periey of being g labeled we help perpetuate * Several women ou! that they could r ings ebaut being & waman in our company the y that American women have dene. ide of the U.S. have exer e havi so discus ssed When the numbers fall below about three tiveness on the team, because | some ino profess onal *# The exclusion behaviors within my company vary dromaticelly from country to county For example, behaviors | experienced in the United ‘an expatriate in the late 90's are very ienced in the eorly 80s in the Kingdom similar to what | US. kcto university age family/iends ‘our company’s end industry's ocor des towards women in something that is sien # Are given the bi intendin Tall “dumb blonde" jokes. * Brog obout their sexual prowe: exual jokes or display girlie pine around their desks Touch me if they don't know me very: well # Assume | will not “hold up" as well as them while traveling or working long hours, et Use specs and miltary anckog excessively eThink the u power] is a patty mai don't matter then why is syscoly female tcff when I'm the one the wo ‘ell ‘of masculine terms or (it word «a big dec! to meeting notes ‘ouronl, etc above, 10 do it anyway. Kudlos to all the men who take the time and care jo be anid behav me more aware ef lang petuate fen many changes in “he last century oad ery © ofthe aivensity leaders is often looked at a: I celebrate those accomplishments. But my current ien ninue inio the 2 1st century remit i exclusion in the workplace is sil my foe that le me weary al the end of manyPRACTICAL THINGS MEN CAN DO TO HELP When | tak lo men about gender divetsiy, I genetaly find hey fal no ho catego © Those who feel they ore ckeady very “progressive ond none of this is applicable to them. mn about their own behaviors se who want fo cand want fo create a more inclusive environment for women, lator catagory, find o sincere desire to take ection lack of awareness aboul how to get started 2 072 0 low practical suggesions 1. Talk te women about gender issues. Find o couple cf female colleagues wih wham you feel safe and acively ask them lo become your learning parine Don't expect them fo open up right oway or onswer your probing questions candidly time. Keap trying. Talk tc who ore 0 emotionally, you laughter, your sicker, your iene Because ofthe esioblshe connection, an things from them hat you wouldn understand from @ female ecleague Ou may ut 2. Begin fo rack when you see yourself cr oher men cehave differently to women than thay behave ts men Jon' ty fo label hese as good of bad or make yourself about them. Just practice noticing the differences. 3. As you incrense this tracking, occasionally be inlerupts meaning cr patronizing behavier or comment, Women connct point thes the risks involved. I feels v very often, becouse supeortve fa have @ male colleague cal’ exclisiorary behavior Fight the nd yourself individually thot men” when it comes lo gender diferences. Even f you are, you ore sill pat © youn” ard will ge fogged w ih things your community represents leaming journey os something Tete. is lifelong skid xonges. et hur inappropriately, cond nanaw your dafiniian of inappropriate, usu doubt that you ore uncomfortable dent "get * at cl removes all shad: vworking with women For exomple, | audience with lizing it was 6 fea heard men address o large men .. pause .. and ladies hough' and then laughing, “You need jo‘heep her; she's both nic group ... 90 menting, ‘ale ond points” and laugh liminate sexual jokes and di or thot disparoges women. There for either in o professional w. don't want 1 eliminate fun, but his sh isn ificont portion of cur population and moy be the mast commen form of exclision simply no Remember thot men and women both have masculine and feminine characteristics. Cultivate some of your always repress them impression hey ore 8. Observe th eminine charactersics; if you give the od. 2 times that your female ve diflerent opinions on o sion or discussion paint than most it, Pay attention nl peeps ht doto tee utcome if « accepting a woman's intuition on a decision. Try it out o few it wars. 9. Model your own behavior changes sther men and wornen be will sord @ grester message of actually change th ellecively Change takes time. Many fear that ly in lecdership posi numbers game, with token position eynic’sm. | shore that concen, i ender div cond riddled with recognize hat jage mechanisms in of un ond measurement are very effective cl ur corporate culure. | hope the proces why the farge’s are off behovioral changes al cuure. Only then do we begin 0 poke at the ecre cf our systemic skuchires, which may lake © generation ot mate fo significanly change. throug} Desp change takes c long lime. Be potent WHITE MEN as FULL DIVERSITY PARTNERSAn Update from Bobbi in 2012 by Bobbi Mooney Fis, hod | know the jongevty of this atiele when | wicle the original letter 12 years 090, Invould have polished 1 up © bit morel | woud love to say fo he orice [snow completly dated ard inelevan), but | st get rckes every yeor from women in Shell teling me | had “writen thet journal” confirming thot much of atl eleven My personal experience in Kaw much we've changed over the last decade is mixed, | believe we have indeed made some great Beet Shells DBI eflors. The business ose for ciety is no longer debated. The Do he numerical representtion hos improved for women, albeit mostly fer white women and rot mulrcultual women The downside isthe numbers ore fragile, so that one or two femcles leaving the iganization ot he higher levels, mates a significant difference in the representation percentage. And the I leval of inclusion, which was the focus oF my eile, is not changing wih the speed that | expected. More specifically, here are the negatives and paslves comparing fhe envitenimert in 2012 with 2000. On the negative side 4 Amongst the behaviors hat | wrote were demedning or made me uncomfortable— cimos' cll of hese hoppen today, although with less frequency than they did 12 1. ag0. Some may be diminishing mare out of political correctness than respect, Exrimiishing nonetheless, However, mos ore sil Fequen’ enough lo be called potas ‘© The one | think we've made the least progress on in Shelli the use of gender neuial tems. Many peopla, both men ond women, sill see his os @ petly motte: [sil disagree bacause Ith thera is «crucial ink between language and behaviors, and willingness to change one impacts the other © While 12 years ago | wrote that | Kad never personally expatiorced blotant disctimination or prejudice, | hove since experienced sexucl harassment in the workplace. The good news ist was appropriaely investigated and deal with, The bbad news is thal anyone would not consider this inapprogriate behavio«. On the positive side * The leadership teams | have sat on forthe last few years have had more females. A coupk of years ago | found myself siting in 9s a guest member wih a leadership team where | was the only female again. It fet very strange and took me back to ‘what used to be “norm.” (BIW, eatirthis year thot team added three females duting @ reoigonization, so itis now mare like the new normal) '* I doubt many decisions get made in the men's tlt these doys. | think this one has goin lot Fair time in Shall to the point tha it hos changed. [We occasionally pretend to make one in the ladies room though, just 0 hove 3 bit of fun with the guys!) ‘I eelieve women in Shall are focused mote on the imporiance of networking. We now heve several cctive women’s employes networks outside the U.S., which is ‘an indication to me that fewer women ate worried about being labelled. + hove hac wo more female manages, so one inthe first 20 years ond two fo sx) inthe lost 12 years. © Most postive of all is that we now have vocabulary to talk about what | clescribed In 2000, | didn’ use the term “microinscuitias’ lo describe my experience, because I did’ know the term existed yet, Vocabulary provides o vehicle within which to make the undiscussables discussable and goes o long way to legitimize the “is this just med" feelings. I ocieve ho! sharing personel soies is one ofthe mos lfecive fools fr creating real change, so hope my stovies give others courage to share thei own slvies,